Somonthbymonth,summerandwinter,theoldlifegoeson——reading,praying,weeping,praying。Theytelluswebecomeutterlystupid。Weknowit。Eventhemultiplicationtablewelearntwithsomuchcareweforgot。
Thephysicalworldrecedesfurtherandfurtherfromus。Trulywelovenottheworld,neitherthethingsthatareinit。Acrosstheboundsofsleepourgrieffollowsus。Whenwewakeinthenightwearesittingupinbedweepingbitterly,orfindourselfoutsideinthemoonlight,dressed,andwalkingupanddown,andwringingourhands,andwecannottellhowwecamethere。Sopasstwoyears,asmenreckonthem。
V。
Thenanewtime。
Beforeustherewerethreecoursespossible——togomad,todie,tosleep。
Wetakethelattercourse;ornaturetakesitforus。
Allthingstakerestinsleep;thebeasts,birds,theveryflowersclosetheireyes,andthestreamsarestillinwinter;allthingstakerest;thenwhynotthehumanreasonalso?Sothequestioningdevilinusdropsasleep,andinthatsleepabeautifuldreamrisesforus。Thoughyouhearallthedreamsofmen,youwillhardlyfindaprettieronethanours。Itranso:
InthecentreofallthingsisamightyHeart,which,havingbegottenallthings,lovesthem;and,havingbornthemintolife,beatswithgreatthrobsoflovetowardsthem。NodeathforHisdearinsects,nohellforHisdearmen,noburningupforHisdearworld——Hisown,ownworldthathehasmade。Intheendallwillbebeautiful。Donotaskushowwemakeourdreamtallywithfacts;thegloryofadreamisthis——thatitdespisesfacts,andmakesitsown。Ourdreamsavesusfromgoingmad;thatisenough。
Itspeculiarpointofsweetnesslayhere。WhentheMightyHeart’syearningoflovebecametoogreatforotherexpression,itshapeditselfintothesweetRoseofheaven,thebelovedMan—god。
Jesus!youJesusofourdream!howwelovedyou;noBibletellsofyouasweknewyou。Yoursweethandsheldoursfast;yoursweetvoicesaidalways,"Iamhere,mylovedone,notfaroff;putyourarmsaboutme,andholdfast。"
WefindHimineverythinginthosedays。Whenthelittlewearylambwedrivehomedragsitsfeet,weseizeonit,andcarryitwithitsheadagainstourface。Hislittlelamb!WefeelwehavegotHim。
WhenthedrunkenKafferliesbytheroadinthesunwedrawhisblanketoverhishead,andputgreenbranchesofmilk—bushonit。HisKaffer;whyshouldthesunhurthim?
Intheevening,whenthecloudsliftthemselveslikegates,andtheredlightsshinethroughthem,wecry;forinsuchgloryHewillcome,andthehandsthatachetotouchHimwillholdhim,andweshallseethebeautifulhairandeyesofourGod。"Liftupyourheads,O,yegates;andbeyeliftedup,yeeverlastingdoors,andourKingofgloryshallcomein!"
Thepurpleflowers,thelittlepurpleflowers,areHiseyes,lookingatus。
Wekissthem,andkneelaloneontheflat,rejoicingoverthem。AndthewildernessandthesolitaryplaceshallbegladforHim,andthedesertshallrejoiceandblossomasarose。
Ifever,inourtearful,joyfulecstasy,thepoor,sleepy,half—deaddevilshouldraisehishead,welaughathim。Itisnothishournow。
"Ifthereshouldbeahell,afterall!"hemutters。"IfyourGodshouldbecruel!IfthereshouldbenoGod!Ifyoushouldfindoutitisallimagination!If——"
Welaughathim。Whenamansitsinthewarmsunshine,doyouaskhimforproofofit?Hefeels——thatisall。Andwefeel——thatisall。WewantnoproofofourGod。Wefeel,wefeel!
WedonotbelieveinourGodbecausetheBibletellsusofHim。WebelieveintheBiblebecauseHetellsusofit。WefeelHim,wefeelHim,wefeel—
—thatisall!Andthepoor,half—swampeddevilmutters:
"Butifthedayshouldcomewhenyoudonotfeel?"
Andwelaughandcryhimdown。
"Itwillnevercome——never,"andthepoordevilslinkstosleepagain,withhistailbetweenhislegs。Fierceassertionmanytimesrepeatedishardtostandagainst;onlytimeseparatesthetruthfromthelie。Sowedreamon。
Onedaywegowithourfathertotown,tochurch。Thetownspeoplerustleintheirsilks,andthemenintheirsleekcloth,andsettlethemselvesintheirpews,andthelightshinesinthroughthewindowsontheartificialflowersinthewomen’sbonnets。Wehavethesamemiserablefeelingthatwehaveinashopwherealltheclerksareverysmart。Wewishourfatherhadn’tbroughtustotown,andwewereoutonthekaroo。Thenthemaninthepulpitbeginstopreach。Histextis"Hethatbelievethnotshallbedamned。"
Thedaybeforethemagistrate’sclerk,whowasanatheist,hasdiedinthestreetstruckbylightning。
Themaninthepulpitmentionsnoname;buthetalksof"ThehandofGodmadevisibleamongstus。"Hetellsushow,whenthewhitestrokefell,quiveringandnaked,thesoulfled,robbedofhisearthlyfilament,andlayatthefootstoolofGod;howoveritsheadhasbeenpouredoutthewrathoftheMightyOne,whoseexistenceithasdenied;and,quiveringandterrified,ithasfledtotheeverlastingshade。
We,aswelisten,halfstartup;everydropofbloodinourbodyhasrushedtoourhead。Helies!helies!helies!Thatmaninthepulpitlies!
Willnoonestophim?Havenoneofthemheard——dononeofthemknow,thatwhenthepoor,darksoulshutitseyesonearthitopenedtheminthestilllightofheaven?thatthereisnowrathwhereGod’sfaceis?thatifonecouldoncecreeptothefootstoolofGod,thereiseverlastingpeacethere,likethefreshstillnessoftheearlymorning?Whiletheatheistlaywonderingandafraid,Godbentdownandsaid:"Mychild,hereIam——I,whomyouhavenotknown;I,whomyouhavenotbelievedin;Iamhere。I
sentMymessenger,thewhitesheet—lightning,tocallyouhome。Iamhere。"
Thenthepoorsoulturnedtothelight——itsweaknessandpainweregoneforever。
Havetheynotknown,havetheynotheard,whoitisrules?
"ForalittlemomenthaveIhiddenmyfacefromthee;butwitheverlastingkindnesswillIhavemercyuponthee,saiththeLordthyRedeemer。"
Wemutterontoourselves,tillsomeonepullsusviolentlybythearmtoremindusweareinchurch。Weseenothingbutourownideas。
Presentlyeveryoneturnstopray。TherearesixhundredsoulsliftingthemselvestotheEverlastinglight。
Behindussittwoprettyladies;onehandsherscent—bottlesoftlytotheother,andamotherpullsdownherlittlegirl’sfrock。Oneladydropsherhandkerchief;agentlemanpicksitup;sheblushes。Thewomeninthechoirturnsoftlytheleavesoftheirtune—books,tobereadywhentheprayingisdone。ItisasthoughtheythoughtmoreofthesingingthantheEverlastingFather。Oh,woulditnotbemoreworshipofHimtositaloneinthekarooandkissonelittlepurpleflowerthathehadmade?Isitnotmockery?Thenthethoughtcomes,"Whatdoestthouhere,Elijah?"Wewhojudge,whatarewebetterthanthey?——ratherworse。Isitanyexcusetosay,"Iambutachildandmustcome?"DoesGodallowanysoultostepinbetweenthespirithemadeandhimself?Whatdowethereinthatplace,whereallthewordsareliesagainsttheAllFather?Filledwithhorror,weturnandfleeoutoftheplace。Onthepavementwesmiteourfoot,andswearinourchild’ssoulneveragaintoenterthoseplaceswheremencometosingandpray。Wearequestionedafterward。Whywasitwewentoutofthechurch。
Howcanweexplain?——westandsilent。Thenwearepressedfurther,andwetrytotell。Thenaheadisshakensolemnlyatus。NoonecanthinkitwrongtogotothehouseoftheLord;itistheidleexcuseofawickedboy。Whenwillwethinkseriouslyofoursouls,andlovegoingtochurch?
Wearewicked,verywicked。Andwe——weslinkawayandgoalonetocry。
Willitbealwaysso?Whetherwehateanddoubt,orwhetherwebelieveandlove,toourdearest,arewetoseemalwayswicked?
Wedonotyetknowthatinthesoul’ssearchfortruththebitternesslieshere,thestrivingcannotalwayshideitselfamongthethoughts;soonerorlateritwillclotheitselfinoutwardaction;thenitstepsinanddividesbetweenthesoulandwhatitloves。Allthingsonearthhavetheirprice;
andfortruthwepaythedearest。Webarteritforloveandsympathy。Theroadtohonourispavedwiththorns;butonthepathtotruth,ateverystepyousetyourfootdownonyourownheart。
VI。
Thenatlastanewtime——thetimeofwaking;short,sharp,andnotpleasant,aswakingsoftenare。
Sleepanddreamsexistonthiscondition——thatnoonewakethedreamer。
Andnowlifetakesusupbetweenherfingerandthumb,shakesusfuriously,tillourpoornoddingheadiswell—nighrolledfromourshoulders,andshesetsusdownalittlehardonthebareearth,bruisedandsore,butpreternaturallywideawake。
Wehavesaidinourdaysofdreaming,"Injusticeandwrongareaseeming;
painisashadow。OurGod,Heisreal,Hewhomadeallthings,andHeonlyisLove。"
Nowlifetakesusbytheneckandshowsusafewotherthings,——new—madegraveswiththeredsandflyingaboutthem;eyesthatwelovewiththewormseatingthem;evilmenwalkingsleekandfat,thewholeterriblehurly—burlyofthethingcalledlife,——andshesays,"Whatdoyouthinkofthese?"Wedarenotsay"Nothing。"Wefeelthem;theyareveryreal。Butwetrytolayourhandsaboutandfeelthatotherthingwefeltbefore。Inthedarknightinthefuel—roomwecrytoourBeautifuldream—god:"Oh,letuscomenearyou,andlayourheadagainstyourfeet。Nowinourhourofneedbenearus。"ButHeisnotthere;Heisgoneaway。Theoldquestioningdevilisthere。
Wemusthavebeenawakenedsoonerorlater。Theimaginationcannotalwaystriumphoverreality,thedesireovertruth。Wemusthavebeenawakened。
Ifitwasdonealittlesharply,whatmatter?Itwasdonethoroughly,andithadtobedone。
VII。
Andanewlifebeginsforus——anewtime,alifeascoldasthatofamanwhositsonthepinnacleofanicebergandseestheglitteringcrystalsallabouthim。Theoldlooksindeedlikealonghotdelirium,peopledwithphantasies。Thenewiscoldenough。
NowwehavenoGod。Wehavehadtwo:theoldGodthatourfathershandeddowntous,thatwehated,andneverliked:thenewonethatwemadeforourselves,thatweloved;butnowhehasflittedawayfromus,andweseewhathewasmadeof——theshadowofourhighestideal,crownedandthroned。
NowwehavenoGod。
"Thefoolhathsaidinhisheart,ThereisnoGod。"Itmaybeso。Mostthingssaidorwrittenhavebeentheworkoffools。
Thisthingiscertain——heisafoolwhosays,"Nomanhathsaidinhisheart,ThereisnoGod。"
Ithasbeensaidmanythousandtimesinheartswithprofoundbitternessofearnestfaith。
Wedonotcryandweep:wesitdownwithcoldeyesandlookattheworld。
Wearenotmiserable。Whyshouldwebe?Weeatanddrink,andsleepallnight;butthedeadarenotcolder。
Andwesayitslowly,butwithoutsighing,"Yes,weseeitnow;thereisnoGod。"
And,weadd,growingalittlecolderyet。"Thereisnojustice。Theoxdiesintheyoke,beneathitsmaster’swhip;itturnsitsanguish—filledeyesonthesunlight,butthereisnosignofrecompensetobemadeit。
Theblackmanisshotlikeadog,anditgoeswellwiththeshooter。Theinnocentareaccusedandtheaccusertriumphs。Ifyouwilltakethetroubletoscratchthesurfaceanywhere,youwillseeundertheskinasentientbeingwrithinginimpotentanguish。"
And,wesayfurther,andourheartisastheheartofthedeadforcoldness,"Thereisnoorder:allthingsaredrivenaboutbyablindchance。"
Whatasouldrinksinwithitsmother’smilkwillnotleaveitinaday。
Fromourearliesthourwehavebeentaughtthatthethoughtoftheheart,theshapingoftherain—cloud,theamountofwoolthatgrowsonasheep’sback,thelengthofadrought,andthegrowingofthecorn,dependonnothingthatmovesimmutable,attheheartofallthings;butonthechangeablewillofachangeablebeing,whomourprayerscanalter。Tous,fromthebeginning,naturehasbeenbutapoorplasticthing,tobetoyedwiththiswayorthat,asmanhappenstopleasehisdeityornot;togotochurchornot;tosayhisprayersrightornot;totravelonaSundayornot。WasitpossibleforusinaninstanttoseeNatureassheis——theflowingvestmentofanunchangingreality?Whenthesoulbreaksfreefromthearmsofasuperstition,bitsoftheclawsandtalonsbreakthemselvesoffinhim。Itisnottheworkofadaytosqueezethemout。
Andso,forus,thehuman—likedriverandguidebeinggone,allexistence,aswelookoutatitwithourchilled,wonderingeyes,isanaimlessriseandswellofshiftingwaters。Inallthatwelteringchaoswecanseenospotsolargeasaman’shandonwhichwemayplantourfoot。
Whetheramanbelievesinahuman—likeGodornoisasmallthing。Whetherhelooksintothementalandphysicalworldandseesnorelationbetweencauseandeffect,noorder,butablindchancesporting,thisisthemightiestfactthatcanberecordedinanyspiritualexistence。Itwerealmostamercytocuthisthroat,ifindeedhedoesnotdoitforhimself。
We,however,donotcutourthroats。Todosowouldimplysomedesireandfeeling,andwehavenodesireandnofeeling;weareonlycold。Wedonotwishtolive,andwedonotwishtodie。OnedayasnakecurlsitselfroundthewaistofaKafferwoman。Wetakeitinourhand,swingitroundandround,andflingitontheground——dead。Everyonelooksatuswitheyesofadmiration。Wealmostlaugh。Isitwonderfultoriskthatforwhichwecarenothing?
Intruth,nothingmatters。Thisdirtylittleworldfullofconfusion,andthebluerag,stretchedoverheadforasky,issolowwecouldtouchitwithourhand。
Existenceisagreatpot,andtheoldFatewhostirsitroundcaresnothingwhatrisestothetopandwhatgoesdown,andlaughswhenthebubblesburst。Andwedonotcare。Letitboilabout。Whyshouldwetroubleourselves?Neverthelessthephysicalsensationsarereal。Hungerhurts,andthirst,thereforeweeatanddrink:inactionpainsus,thereforeweworklikegalley—slaves。Noonedemandsit,butwesetourselvestobuildagreatdaminredsandbeyondthegraves。Inthegreydawnbeforethesheepareletoutweworkatit。Allday,whiletheyoungostricheswetendfeedaboutus,weworkonthroughthefiercestheat。Thepeoplewonderwhatnewspirithasseizedusnow。Theydonotknowweareworkingforlife。Webearthegreateststones,andfeelasatisfactionwhenwestaggerunderthem,andarehurtbyapangthatshootsthroughourchest。
Whileweeatourdinnerwecarryonbasketsfullofearth,asthoughthedevildroveus。TheKafferservantshaveastorythatatnightawitchandtwowhiteoxencometohelpus。Nowall,theysay,couldgrowsoquicklyunderoneman’shands。
Atnight,aloneinourcabin,wesitnomorebroodingoverthefire。Whatshouldwethinkofnow?Allisemptiness。Sowetaketheoldarithmetic;
andthemultiplicationtable,whichwithsomuchpainswelearntlongagoandforgotdirectly,welearnnowinafewhours,andneverforgetagain。
Wetakeastrangesatisfactioninworkingarithmeticalproblems。Wepauseinourbuildingtocoverthestoneswithfiguresandcalculations。WesavemoneyforaLatinGrammarandAlgebra,andcarrythemaboutinourpockets,poringoverthemasoverourBibleofold。Wehavethoughtwewereutterlystupid,incapableofrememberinganything,oflearninganything。Nowwefindthatalliseasy。Hasanewsoulcreptintothisoldbody,thatevenourintellectualfacultiesarechanged?Wemarvel;notperceivingthatwhatamanexpendsinprayerandecstasyhecannothaveoverforacquiringknowledge。Younevershedatear,orcreateabeautifulimage,orquiverwithemotion,butyoupayforitatthepractical,calculatingendofyournature。Youhavejustsomuchforce:whentheonechannelrunsovertheotherrunsdry。
AndnowweturntoNature。Alltheseyearswehavelivedbesideher,andwehaveneverseenher;andnowweopenoureyesandlookather。
Therockshavebeentousablurofbrown:webendoverthem,andthedisorganisedmassesdissolveintoamany—coloured,many—shaped,carefully—
arrangedformofexistence。Heremassesofrainbow—tintedcrystals,half—
fusedtogether;therebandsofsmoothgreyandredmethodicallyoverlyingeachother。Thisrockhereiscoveredwithadelicatesilvertracery,insomemineral,resemblingleavesandbranches;thereontheflatstone,onwhichwesooftenhavesattoweepandpray,welookdown,andseeitcoveredwiththefossilfootprintsofgreatbirds,andthebeautifulskeletonofafish。Wehaveoftentriedtopictureinourmindwhatthefossiledremainsofcreaturesmustbelike,andallthewhilewesatonthem,wehavebeensoblindedbythinkingandfeelingthatwehaveneverseentheworld。
Theflatplainhasbeentousareachofmonotonousred。Welookatit,andeveryhandfulofsandstartsintolife。Thatwonderfulpeople,theants,welearntoknow;seethemmakewarandpeace,playandwork,andbuildtheirhugepalaces。Andthatsmallerpeoplewemakeacquaintancewith,wholiveintheflowers。Thebittoflowerhasbeenforusamereblurofyellow;wefinditsheartcomposedofahundredperfectflowers,thehomesofthetinyblackpeoplewithredstripes,whomoveinandoutinthatlittleyellowcity。Everybluebellhasitsinhabitant。Everydaythekarooshowsusanewwondersleepinginitsteemingbosom。
Onourwaybacktoworkwepauseandstandtoseetheground—spidermakeitstrap,buryitselfinthesand,andthenwaitforthefallinginofitsenemy。
Furtheronwalksahornedbeetle,andnearhimstartsopenthedoorofaspider,whopeepsoutcarefully,andquicklypullsitdownagain。Onakaroo—bushagreenflyislayinghersilvereggs。Wecarrythemhome,andseetheshellspierced,thespottedgrubcomeout,turntoagreenfly,andflitaway。WearenotsatisfiedwithwhatNatureshowsus,andweseesomethingforourselves。Underthewhitehenweputadozeneggs,andbreakonedaily,toseethewhitespotwaxintothechicken。Wearenotexcitedorenthusiasticaboutit;butamanisnottolayhisthroatopen,hemustthinkofsomething。Soweplantseedsinrowsonourdam—wall,andpulloneupdailytoseehowitgoeswiththem。Alladeenburiedherwonderfulstone,andagoldenpalacesprungupatherfeet。Wedofarmore。Weputabrownseedintheearth,andalivingthingstartsout——
startsupward——why,nomorethanAlladeencanwesay——startsupward,anddoesnotdesisttillitishigherthanourheads,sparklingwithdewintheearlymorning,glitteringwithyellowblossoms,shakingbrownseedswithlittleembryosoulsontotheground。Welookatitsolemnly,fromthetimeitconsistsoftwoleavespeepingabovethegroundandasoftwhiteroot,tillwehavetoraiseourfacestolookatit;butwefindnoreasonforthatupwardstarting。
Welookintodeadducksandlambs。Intheeveningwecarrythemhome,spreadnewspapersonthefloor,andlieworkingwiththemtillmidnight。
Withastartedfeelingnearakintoecstasyweopenthelumpoffleshcalledaheart,andfindlittledoorsandstringsinside。Wefeelthem,andputtheheartaway;buteverynowandthenreturntolook,andtofeelthemagain。Whywelikethemsowecanhardlytell。
Aganderdrownsitselfinourdam。Wetakeitout,andopenitonthebank,andkneellookingatit。Abovearetheorgansdividedbydelicatetissues;belowaretheintestinesartisticallycurvedinaspiralform,andeachtiercoveredbyadelicatenetworkofblood—vesselsstandingoutredagainstthefaintbluebackground。Eachbranchoftheblood—vesselsiscomprisedofatrunk,bifurcatingandrebifurcatingintothemostdelicate,hair—likethreads,symmetricallyarranged。Wearestruckwithitssingularbeauty。And,moreover——andherewedropfromourkneelingintoasittingposture——thisalsoweremark:ofthatsameexactshapeandoutlineisourthorn—treeseenagainsttheskyinmid—winter:ofthatshapealsoisdelicatemetallictracerybetweenourrocks;inthatexactpathdoesourwaterflowwhenwithoutafurrowweleaditfromthedam;soshapedaretheantlersofthehornedbeetle。Howarethesethingsrelatedthatsuchdeepunionshouldexistbetweenthemall?Isitchance?Or,aretheynotallthefinebranchesofonetrunk,whosesapflowsthroughusall?Thatwouldexplainit。Wenodoverthegander’sinside。
Thisthingwecallexistence;isitnotasomethingwhichhasitsrootsfardownbelowinthedark,anditsbranchesstretchingoutintotheimmensityabove,whichweamongthebranchescannotsee?Notachancejungle;alivingthing,aOne。Thethoughtgivesusintensesatisfaction,wecannottellwhy。
Wenodoverthegander;thenstartupsuddenly,lookintothebluesky,throwthedeadganderandtherefuseintothedam,andgotoworkagain。
Andso,itcomestopassintime,thattheearthceasesforustobeawelteringchaos。Wewalkinthegreathalloflife,lookingupandroundreverentially。Nothingisdespicable——allismeaning—full;nothingissmall——allispartofawhole,whosebeginningandendweknownot。Thelifethatthrobsinusisabeginningandendweknownot。Thelifethatthrobsinusisapulsationfromit;toomightyforourcomprehension,nottoosmall。
Andso,itcomestopassatlast,thatwhereastheskywasatfirstasmallblueragstretchedoutoverus,andsolowthatourhandsmighttouchit,pressingdownonus,itraisesitselfintoanimmeasurablebluearchoverourheads,andwebegintoliveagain。
Chapter2。II。Waldo’sStranger。
Waldolayonhisstomachontheredsand。Thesmallostrichesheherdedwanderedabouthim,peckingatthefoodhehadcut,oratpebblesanddrysticks。Onhisrightlaythegraves;tohisleftthedam;inhishandwasalargewoodenpostcoveredwithcarvings,atwhichheworked。Dosslaybeforehimbaskinginthewintersunshine,andnowandagaincastinganexpectantglanceatthecornerofthenearestostrichcamp。Thescrubbythorn—treesunderwhichtheylayyieldednoshade,butnonewasneededinthatgloriousJuneweather,wheninthehottestpartoftheafternoonthesunwasbutpleasantlywarm;andtheboycarvedon,notlookingup,yetconsciousofthebrownsereneearthabouthimandtheintenselyblueskyabove。
Presently,atthecornerofthecamp,Emappeared,bearingacoveredsaucerinonehandandintheotherajug,withacupinthetop。Shewasgrownintoaprematurelittleoldwomanofsixteen,ridiculouslyfat。Thejugandsaucersheputdownonthegroundbeforethedogandhismasteranddroppeddownbesidethemherself,pantingandoutofbreath。
"Waldo,asIcameupthecampsImetsomeoneonhorseback,andIdobelieveitmustbethenewmanthatiscoming。"
ThenewmanwasanEnglishmantowhomtheBoer—womanhadhiredhalfthefarm。
"Hum!"saidWaldo。
"Heisquiteyoung,"saidEm,holdingherside,"andhehasbrownhair,andbeardcurlingclosetohisface,andsuchdarkblueeyes。And,Waldo,I
wassoashamed!Iwasjustlookingbacktosee,youknow,andhehappenedjusttobelookingbacktoo,andwelookedrightintoeachother’sfaces;
andhegotred,andIgotsored。Ibelieveheisthenewman。"
"Yes,"saidWaldo。
"Imustgonow。PerhapshehasbroughtuslettersfromthepostfromLyndall。Youknowshecan’tstayatschoolmuchlonger,shemustcomebacksoon。Andthenewmanwillhavetostaywithustillhishouseisbuilt。
Imustgethisroomready。Good—bye!"
Shetrippedoffagain,andWaldocarvedonathispost。Dosslaywithhisnoseclosetothecoveredsaucer,andsmeltthatsomeonehadmadenicelittlefatcakesthatafternoon。Bothweresointentontheiroccupationthatnottillahorse’shoofsbeatbesidetheminthesanddidtheylookuptoseeariderdrawinginhissteed。
HewascertainlynotthestrangerwhomEmhaddescribed。Adark,somewhatFrench—lookinglittlemanofeight—and—twenty,ratherstout,withheavy,cloudyeyesandpointedmoustaches。Hishorsewasafierycreature,wellcaparisoned;ahighly—finishedsaddlebaghungfromthesaddle;theman’shandsweregloved,andhepresentedtheappearance—anappearancerareonthatfarm——ofawell—dressedgentleman。
Inanuncommonlymelodiousvoiceheinquiredwhetherhemightbeallowedtoremainthereforanhour。Waldodirectedhimtothefarmhouse,butthestrangerdeclined。Hewouldmerelyrestunderthetreesandgivehishorsewater。HeremovedthesaddleandWaldoledtheanimalawaytothedam。
Whenhereturned,thestrangerhadsettledhimselfunderthetrees,withhisbackagainstthesaddle。Theboyofferedhimofthecakes。Hedeclined,buttookadraughtfromthejug;andWaldolaydownnotfaroffandfelltoworkagain。Itmatterednothingifcoldeyessawit。Itwasnothissheep—shearingmachine。Withmaterialloves,aswithhuman,wegomadonce,loveout,andhavedone。Wenevergetupthetrueenthusiasmasecondtime。Thiswasbutathinghehadmade,labouredover,lovedandliked——nothingmore——nothismachine。
Thestrangerforcedhimselflowerdowninthesaddleandyawned。Itwasadrowsyafternoon,andheobjectedtotravelintheseout—of—the—worldparts。Helikedbettercivilisedlife,whereateveryhourofthedayamanmaylookforhisglassofwine,andhiseasy—chair,andpaper;whereatnighthemaylockhimselfintohisroomwithhisbooksandabottleofbrandy,andtastejoysmentalandphysical。Theworldsaidofhim——theall—knowing,omnipotentworld,whomnolockscanbar,whohasthecat—likepropensityofseeingbestinthedark——theworldsaid,thatbetterthanthebookshelovedthebrandy,andbetterthanbooksorbrandythatwhichithadbeenbetterhadhelovedless。Butfortheworldhecarednothing;hesmiledblandlyinitsteeth。Alllifeisadream;ifwineandphilosophyandwomenkeepthedreamfrombecominganightmare,somuchthebetter。Itisalltheyarefitfor,alltheycanbeusedfor。Therewasanothersidetohislifeandthought;butofthattheworldknewnothing,andsaidnothing,asthewayofthewiseworldis。
Thestrangerlookedfrombeneathhissleepyeyelidsatthebrownearththatstretchedaway,beautifulinspiteofitselfinthatJunesunshine;lookedatthegraves,thegablesofthefarmhouseshowingoverthestonewallsofthecamps,attheclownishfellowathisfeet,andyawned。Buthehaddrunkofthehind’stea,andmustsaysomething。
"Yourfather’splaceIpresume?"heinquiredsleepily。
"No;Iamonlyaservant。"
第10章