首页 >出版文学> The Tale of Balen>第9章
  Bonaparteknewthatshecomprehendednotasyllable;butheunderstoodthatitistheeye,thetone,theaction,andnotatalltherationalword,thattouchesthelove—chords。Hesawshechangedcolour。
  "Allnight,"saidBonaparte,"Ilieawake;Iseenaughtbutthyangeliccountenance。Iopenmyarmstoreceivethee——whereartthou,where?Thouartnotthere!"saidBonaparte,suitingtheactiontothewords,andspreadingouthisarmsanddrawingthemtohisbreast。
  "Oh,please,Idon’tunderstand,"saidTrana,"Iwanttogoaway。"
  "Yes,yes,"saidBonaparte,leaningbackinhischair,tohergreatrelief,andpressinghishandsonhisheart,"sincefirstthyamethystinecountenancewasimpressedhere——whathaveInotsuffered,whathaveInotfelt?Oh,thepangsunspoken,burningasanardentcoalinafieryanduncontaminatedbosom!"saidBonaparte,bendingforwardagain。
  "DearLord!"saidTranatoherself,"howfoolishIhavebeen!Theoldmanhasapaininhisstomach,andnow,asmyauntisout,hehascometometohelphim。"
  ShesmiledkindlyatBonaparte,andpushingpasthim,wenttothebedroom,quicklyreturningwithabottleofreddropsinherhand。
  "Theyareverygoodforbenauwdheid;mymotheralwaysdrinksthem,"shesaid,holdingthebottleout。
  Thefaceinthetrap—doorwasafieryred。Likeatiger—catreadytospring。TantSanniecrouched,withtheshoulderofmuttoninherhand。
  ExactlybeneathherstoodBonaparte。Sheroseandclaspedwithbotharmsthebarrelofsaltmeat。
  "What,roseofthedesert,nightingaleofthecolony,thatwiththineamorouslaywhilestthelonesomenight!"criedBonaparte,seizingthehandthatheldthevonlicsense。Nay,strugglenot!Flyasastrickenfawnintothearmsthatwouldembracethee,thou——"
  Hereastreamofcoldpickle—water,heavywithribsandshoulders,descendingonhisheadabruptlyterminatedhisspeech。Half—blinded,Bonapartelookedupthroughthedropsthathungfromhiseyelids,andsawtheredfacethatlookeddownathim。Withonewildcryhefled。Ashepassedoutatthefrontdoorashoulderofmutton,well—directed,strucktheblackcoatinthesmalloftheback。
  "Bringtheladder!bringtheladder!Iwillgoafterhim!"criedtheBoer—
  woman,asBonaparteBlenkinswildlyfledintothefields……
  LateintheeveningofthesamedayWaldokneltonthefloorofhiscabin。
  Hebathedthefootofhisdogwhichhadbeenpiercedbyathorn。Thebruisesonhisownbackhadhadfivedaystohealin,and,exceptalittlestiffnessinhismovements,therewasnothingremarkableabouttheboy。
  Thetroublesoftheyoungaresoonover;theyleavenoexternalmark。Ifyouwoundthetreeinitsyouththebarkwillquicklycoverthegash;butwhenthetreeisveryold,peelingthebarkoff,andlookingcarefully,youwillseethescartherestill。Allthatisburiedisnotdead。
  Waldopouredthewarmmilkoverthelittleswollenfoot;Dosslayveryquiet,withtearsinhiseyes。Thentherewasatapatthedoor。InaninstantDosslookedwideawake,andwinkedthetearsoutfrombetweenhislittlelids。
  "Comein,"saidWaldo,intentonhiswork;andslowlyandcautiouslythedooropened。
  "Goodevening,Waldo,myboy,"saidBonaparteBlenkinsinamildvoice,notventuringmorethanhisnosewithinthedoor。"Howareyouthisevening?"
  Dossgrowledandshowedhislittleteeth,andtriedtorise,buthispawhurthimsohewhined。
  "I’mverytired,Waldo,myboy,"saidBonaparteplaintively。
  Dossshowedhislittlewhiteteethagain。Hismasterwentonwithhisworkwithoutlookinground。Therearesomepeopleatwhosehandsitisbestnottolook。Atlasthesaid:
  "Comein。"
  Bonapartesteppedcautiouslyalittlewayintotheroom,andleftthedooropenbehindhim。Helookedattheboy’ssupperonthetable。
  "Waldo,I’vehadnothingtoeatallday——I’mveryhungry,"hesaid。
  "Eat!"saidWaldoafteramoment,bendingloweroverhisdog。
  "Youwon’tgoandtellherthatIamhere,willyou,Waldo?"saidBonapartemostuneasily。"You’veheardhowsheusedme,Waldo?I’vebeenbadlytreated;you’llknowyourselfwhatitissomedaywhenyoucan’tcarryonalittleconversationwithaladywithouthavingsaltmeatandpickle—waterthrownatyou。Waldo,lookatme;doIlookasagentlemanshould?"
  Buttheboyneitherlookedupnoranswered,andBonapartegrewmoreuneasy。
  "Youwouldn’tgoandtellherthatIamhere,wouldyou?"saidBonaparte,whiningly。"There’snoknowingwhatshewoulddotome。I’vesuchtrustinyou,Waldo;I’vealwaysthoughtyousuchapromisinglad,thoughyoumayn’thaveknownit,Waldo。"
  "Eat,"saidtheboy,"Ishallsaynothing。"
  Bonaparte,whoknewthetruthwhenanotherspokeit,closedthedoor,carefullyputtingonthebutton。Thenhelookedtoseethatthecurtainofthewindowwascloselypulleddown,andseatedhimselfatthetable。Hewassoonmunchingthecoldmeatandbread。Waldokneltonthefloor,bathingthefootwithhandswhichthedoglickedlovingly。Onceonlyheglancedatthetable,andturnedawayquickly。
  "Ah,yes!Idon’twonderthatyoucan’tlookatme,Waldo,"saidBonaparte;"myconditionwouldtouchanyheart。Yousee,thewaterwasfatty,andthathasmadeallthesandsticktome;andmyhair,"saidBonaparte,tenderlytouchingthelittlefringeatthebackofhishead,"isallcakedoverlikealittleplank;youwouldn’tthinkitwashairatall,"
  saidBonaparte,plaintively。"Ihadtocreepallalongthestonewallsforfearshe’dseeme,andwithnothingonmyheadbutaredhandkerchief,tiedundermychin,Waldo;andtohideinaslootthewholeday,withnotamouthfuloffood,Waldo。Andshegavemesuchablow,justhere,"saidBonaparte。
  Hehadclearedtheplateofthelastmorsel,whenWaldoroseandwalkedtothedoor。
  "Oh,Waldo,mydearboy,youarenotgoingtocallher,"saidBonaparte,risinganxiously。
  "Iamgoingtosleepinthewagon,"saidtheboy,openingthedoor。
  "Oh,wecanbothsleepinthisbed;there’splentyofroom。Dostay,myboy,please。"
  ButWaldosteppedout。
  "Itwassuchalittlewhip,Waldo,"saidBonaparte,followinghimdeprecatingly。"Ididn’tthinkitwouldhurtyousomuch。Itwassuchalittlewhip。Iamsureyoudidn’ttakethepeaches。Youaren’tgoingtocallher,Waldo,areyou?"
  Buttheboywalkedoff。
  Bonapartewaitedtillhisfigurehadpassedroundthefrontofthewagon—
  house,andthenslippedout。Hehidhimselfroundthecorner,butkeptpeepingouttoseewhowascoming。HefeltsuretheboywasgonetocallTantSannie。Histeethchatteredwithinwardcoldashelookedroundintothedarknessandthoughtofthesnakesthatmightbitehim,andthedreadfulthingsthatmightattackhim,andthedeadthatmightariseoutoftheirgravesifhesleptoutinthefieldallnight。Butmorethananhourpassedandnofootstepapproached。
  ThenBonapartemadehiswaybacktothecabin。Hebuttonedthedoorandputthetableagainstitand,givingthedogakicktosilencehiswhiningwhenthefootthrobbed,heclimbedintobed。Hedidnotputoutthelight,forfearoftheghost,but,wornoutwiththesorrowsoftheday,wassoonasleephimself。
  Aboutfouro’clockWaldo,lyingbetweentheseatsofthehorse—wagon,wasawakenedbyagentletouchonhishead。
  Sittingup,heespiedBonapartelookingthroughoneofthewindowswithalightedcandleinhishand。
  "I’mabouttodepart,mydearboy,beforemyenemiesarise,andIcouldnotleavewithoutcomingtobidyoufarewell,"saidBonaparte。
  Waldolookedathim。
  "Ishallalwaysthinkofyouwithaffection"saidBonaparte。"Andthere’sthatoldhatofyours,ifyoucouldletmehaveitforakeepsake——"
  "Takeit,"saidWaldo。
  "Ithoughtyouwouldsayso,soIbroughtitwithme,"saidBonaparte,puttingiton。"TheLordblessyou,mydearboy。Youhaven’tafewshillings——justatrifleyoudon’tneed——haveyou?"
  "Takethetwoshillingsthatareinthebrokenvase。"
  "MaytheblessingofmyGodrestuponyou,mydearchild,"saidBonaparte;
  "mayHeguideandblessyou。Givemeyourhand。"
  Waldofoldedhisarmsclosely,andlaydown。
  "Farewell,adieu!"saidBonaparte。"MaytheblessingofmyGodandmyfather’sGodrestonyou,nowandevermore。"
  Withthesewordstheheadandnosewithdrewthemselves,andthelightvanishedfromthewindow。
  Afterafewmomentstheboy,lyinginthewagon,heardstealthyfootstepsastheypassedthewagon—houseandmadetheirwaydowntheroad。Helistenedastheygrewfainterandfainter,andatlastdiedawayaltogether,andfromthatnightthefootstepofBonaparteBlenkinswasheardnomoreattheoldfarm。
  ENDOfPARTI。
  PARTII。
  "Anditwasallplay,andnoonecouldtellwhatithadlivedandworkedfor。Astriving,andastriving,andanendinginnothing。"
  Chapter2。I。TimesandSeasons。
  Waldolayonhisstomachonthesand。SinceheprayedandhowledtohisGodinthefuel—housethreeyearshadpassed。
  Theysaythatintheworldtocometimeisnotmeasuredoutbymonthsandyears。Neitherisithere。Thesoul’slifehasseasonsofitsown;
  periodsnotfoundinanycalendar,timesthatyearsandmonthswillnotscan,butwhichareasdeftlyandsharplycutofffromoneanotherasthesmoothly—arrangedyearswhichtheearth’smotionyieldsus。
  Tostrangereyesthesedivisionsarenotevident;buteach,lookingbackatthelittletrackhisconsciousnessilluminates,seesitcutintodistinctportions,whoseboundariesaretheterminationofmentalstates。
  Asmandiffersfromman,sodifferthesesouls’years。Themostmateriallifeisnotdevoidofthem;thestoryofthemostspiritualistoldinthem。Anditmaychancethatsome,lookingback,seethepastcutoutafterthisfashion:
  I。
  Theyearofinfancy,wherefromtheshadowybackgroundofforgetfulnessstartoutpicturesofstartlingclearness,disconnected,butbrightlycoloured,andindeliblyprintedinthemind。Muchthatfollowsfades,butthecoloursofthosebaby—picturesarepermanent。
  Thererises,perhaps,awarmsummer’sevening;weareseatedonthedoorstep;wehaveyetthetasteofthebreadandmilkinourmouth,andtheredsunsetisreflectedinourbasin。
  Thenthereisadarknight,where,wakingwithafearthatthereissomegreatbeingintheroom,werunfromourownbedtoanother,creepclosetosomelargefigure,andarecomforted。
  Thenthereisremembranceofthepridewhen,onsomeone’sshoulder,withourarmsaroundtheirhead,weridetoseethelittlepigs,thenewlittlepigswiththeircurledtailsandtinysnouts——wheredotheycomefrom?
  Remembranceofdelightinthefeelandsmellofthefirstorangeweeversee;ofsorrowwhichmakesusputupourlip,andcryhard,whenonemorningwerunouttotryandcatchthedewdrops,andtheymeltandwetourlittlefingers;ofalmightyanddespairingsorrowwhenwearelostbehindthekraals,andcannotseethehouseanywhere。
  Andthenonepicturestartsoutmorevividlythanany。
  Therehasbeenathunderstorm;theground,asfarastheeyecanreach,iscoveredwithwhitehail;thecloudsaregone,andoverheadadeepblueskyisshowing;faroffagreatrainbowrestsonthewhiteearth。We,standinginawindowtolook,feelthecool,unspeakablysweetwindblowinginonus,andafeelingoflongingcomesoverus——unutterablelonging,wecannottellforwhat。Wearesosmall,ourheadonlyreachesashighasthefirstthreepanes。Welookatthewhiteearth,andtherainbow,andthebluesky;andoh,wewantit,wewant——wedonotknowwhat。Wecryasthoughourheartwasbroken。Whenoneliftsourlittlebodyfromthewindowwecannottellwhatailsus。Werunawaytoplay。
  Solooksthefirstyear。
  II。
  Nowthepicturesbecomecontinuousandconnected。Materialthingsstillrule,butthespiritualandintellectualtaketheirplaces。
  Inthedarknightwhenweareafraidweprayandshutoureyes。Wepressourfingersveryharduponthelids,andseedarkspotsmovingroundandround,andweknowtheyareheadsandwingsofangelssenttotakecareofus,seendimlyinthedarkastheymoveroundourbed。Itisveryconsoling。
  Inthedaywelearnourletters,andaretroubledbecausewecannotseewhyk—n—o—wshouldbeknow,andp—s—a—l—mpsalm。Theytellusitissobecauseitisso。Wearenotsatisfied;wehatetolearn;welikebettertobuildlittlestonehouses。Wecanbuildthemasweplease,andknowthereasonforthem。
  Otherjoystoowehaveincomparablygreatertheneventhebuildingofstonehouses。
  Wearerunthroughwithashudderofdelightwhenintheredsandwecomeononeofthosewhitewaxflowersthatliebetweentheirtwogreenleavesflatonthesand。Wehardlydarepickthem,butwefeelcompelledtodoso;andwesmellandsmelltillthedelightbecomesalmostpain。Afterwardwepullthegreenleavessoftlyintopiecestoseethesilkthreadsrunacross。
  Beyondthekopjegrowsomepale—green,hairy—leavedbushes。Wearesosmall,theymeetoverourhead,andwesitamongthem,andkissthem,andtheyloveusback;itseemsasthoughtheywerealive。
  Onedaywesitthereandlookupatthebluesky,anddownatourfatlittleknees;andsuddenlyitstrikesus,Whoarewe?ThisI,whatisit?
  Wetrytolookinuponourselves,andourselfbeatsbackuponourself。
  Thenwegetupingreatfearandrunhomeashardaswecan。Wecan’ttellanyonewhatfrightenedus。Weneverquitelosethatfeelingofselfagain。
  III。
  Andthenanewtimerises。Wearesevenyearsold。Wecanreadnow——readtheBible。BestofallwelikethestoryofElijahinhiscaveatHoreb,andthestillsmallvoice。
  Oneday,anotableone,wereadonthekopje,anddiscoverthefifthchapterofMatthew,andreaditallthrough。Itisanewgold—mine。ThenwetucktheBibleunderourarmandrushedhome。Theydidn’tknowitwaswickedtotakeyourthingsagainifsomeonetookthem,wickedtogotolaw,wickedto——!Wearequitebreathlesswhenwegettothehouse;wetellthemwehavediscoveredachaptertheyneverheardof;wetellthemwhatitsays。Theoldwisepeopletellustheyknewallaboutit。Ourdiscoveryisamare’s—nesttothem;buttousitisveryreal。Thetencommandmentsandtheold"Thoushalt"wehaveheardaboutlongenoughanddon’tcareaboutit;butthisnewlawsetsusonfire。
  Wewilldenyourself。Ourlittlewagonthatwehavemade,wegivetothelittleKaffers。Wekeepquietwhentheythrowsandatus(feeling,oh,sohappy)。Weconscientiouslyputthecrackedteacupforourselvesatbreakfast,andtaketheburntroaster—cake。Wesaveourmoney,andbuythreepenceoftobaccofortheHottentotmaidwhocallsusnames。Weareexoticallyvirtuous。Atnightweareprofoundlyreligious;eventhetickingwatchsays,"Eternity,eternity!hell,hell,hell!"andthesilencetalksofGod,andthethingsthatshallbe。
  Occasionally,also,unpleasantlyshrewdquestionsbegintobeaskedbysomeone,weknownotwho,whositssomewherebehindourshoulder。Wegettoknowhimbetterafterward。
  Nowwecarrythequestionstothegrown—uppeople,andtheygiveusanswers。Wearemoreorlesssatisfiedforthetime。Thegrown—uppeopleareverywise,andtheysayitwaskindofGodtomakehell,andverylovingofHimtosendmenthere;andbesides,hecouldn’thelpHimself,andtheyareverywise,wethink,sowebelievethem——moreorless。
  IV。
  Thenanewtimecomes,ofwhichtheleadingfeatureis,thattheshrewdquestionsareaskedlouder。Wecarrythemtothegrown—uppeople;theyanswerus,andwearenotsatisfied。
  Andnowbetweenusandthedearoldworldofthesensesthespirit—worldbeginstopeepin,andwhollycloudsitover。Whataretheflowerstous?
  Theyarefuelwaitingforthegreatburning。Welookatthewallsofthefarmhouseandthematter—of—factsheep—kraals,withthemerrysunshineplayingoverall;anddonotseeit。Butweseeagreatwhitethrone,andhimthatsitsonit。AroundHimstandagreatmultitudethatnomancannumber,harpersharpingwiththeirharps,athousandtimestenthousand,andthousandsofthousands。Howwhitearetheirrobes,washedinthebloodoftheLamb!Andthemusicriseshigher,andrendsthevaultofheavenwithitsunutterablesweetness。Andwe,aswelisten,everandanon,asitsinksonthesweetest,lowestnote,hearagroanofthedamnedfrombelow。
  Weshudderinthesunlight。
  "Thetorment,"saysJeremyTaylor,whosesermonsourfatherreadsaloudintheevening,"comprisesasmanytormentsasthebodyofmanhasjoints,sinews,arteries,etc。,beingcausedbythatpenetratingandrealfireofwhichthistemporalfireisbutapaintedfire。Whatcomparisonwilltherebebetweenburningforahundredyears’spaceandtobeburningwithoutintermissionaslongasGodisGod!"
  Werememberthesermonthereinthesunlight。Onecomesandaskswhywesittherenoddingsomoodily。Ah,theydonotseewhatwesee。
  "Amoment’stime,anarrowspace,Dividesmefromthatheavenlyplace,Orshutsmeupinhell。"
  SosaysWesley’shymn,whichwesingeveningbyevening。Whatmattersunshineandwalls,menandsheep?
  "Thethingswhichareseenaretemporal,butthethingswhicharenotseenareeternal。"Theyarereal。
  TheBiblewebearalwaysinourbreast;itspagesareourfood;welearntorepeatit;weweepmuch,forinsunshineandinshade,intheearlymorningorthelateevening,inthefieldorinthehouse,thedevilwalkswithus。
  Hecomestoarealperson,copper—colouredface,headalittleononeside,foreheadknit,askingquestions。Believeme,itwerebettertobefollowedbythreedeadlydiseasesthanbyhim。Heisneversilenced——withoutmercy。
  Thoughthedropsofbloodstandoutonyourhearthewillputhisquestion。
  Softlyhecomesup(weareonlyaweebitchild);"IsitgoodofGodtomakehell?WasitkindofHimtoletnoonebeforgivenunlessJesusChristdied?"
  Thenhegoesoff,andleavesuswrithing。Presentlyhecomesback。
  "DoyouloveHim?"——waitsalittle。"DoyouloveHim?Youwillbelostifyoudon’t。"
  Wesaywetryto。
  "Butdoyou?"Thenhegoesoff。
  Itisnothingtohimifwegoquitemadwithfearatourownwickedness。
  Heaskson,thequestioningdevil;hecaresnothingwhathesays。Welongtotellsomeone,thattheymayshareourpain。Wedonotyetknowthatthecupofafflictionismadewithsuchanarrowmouththatonlyonelipcandrinkatatime,andthateachman’scupismadetomatchhislip。
  Onedaywetrytotellsomeone。Thenagraveheadisshakensolemnlyatus。Wearewicked,verywicked,theysayweoughtnottohavesuchthoughts。Godisgood,verygood。Wearewicked,verywicked。Thatisthecomfortweget。Wicked!Oh,Lord!dowenotknowit?Isitnotthesenseofourownexceedingwickednessthatisdryingupouryoungheart,fillingitwithsand,makingalllifeadust—binforus?
  Wicked?Weknowit!Tooviletolive,tooviletodie,tooviletocreepoverthis,God’searth,andmoveamongHisbelievingmen。Hellistheoneplaceforhimwhohateshismaster,andtherewedonotwanttogo。Thisisthecomfortwegetfromtheold。
  Andonceagainwetrytoseekforcomfort。Thistimegreateyeslookatuswondering,andlovelylittlelipssay:
  "Ifitmakesyousounhappytothinkofthesethings,whydoyounotthinkofsomethingelse,andforget?"
  Forget!Weturnawayandshrinkintoourself。Forget,andthinkofotherthings!Oh,God!dotheynotunderstandthatthematerialworldisbutafilm,througheveryporeofwhichGod’sawfulspiritworldisshiningthroughonus?Wekeepasfarfromothersaswecan。
  Onenight,arareclearmoonlightnight,wekneelinthewindow;everyoneelseisasleep,butwekneelreadingbythemoonlight。Itisachapterintheprophets,tellinghowthechosenpeopleofGodshallbecarriedontheGentiles’shoulders。Surelythedevilmightleaveusalone;thereisnotmuchtohandleforhimthere。Butpresentlyhecomes。
  "Isitrightthereshouldbeachosenpeople?ToHim,whoisfathertoall,shouldnotallbedear?"
  Howcanweanswerhim?Wewerefeelingsogoodtillhecame。WeputourheaddownontheBibleandblisteritwithtears。Thenwefoldourhandsoverourheadandpray,tillourteethgrindtogether。Oh,thatfromthatspirit—world,sorealandyetsosilent,thatsurroundsus,onewordwouldcometoguideus!Weareleftalonewiththisdevil;andGoddoesnotwhispertous。SuddenlyweseizetheBible,turningitroundandround,andsayhurriedly:
  "ItwillbeGod’svoicespeakingtous;Hisvoiceasthoughweheardit。"
  WeyearnforatokenfromtheinexorablySilentOne。
  Weturnthebook,putourfingerdownonapage,andbendtoreadbythemoonlight。ItisGod’sanswer。Wetremble。
  "ThenfourteenyearsafterIwentupagaintoJerusalemwithBarnabas,andtookTituswithmealso。"
  Foraninstantourimaginationseizesit;wearetwisting,twirling,tryingtomakeanallegory。Thefourteenyearsarefourteenmonths;wearePaulandthedevilisBarnabas,Titusis——Thenasuddenloathingcomestous:
  weareliarsandhypocrites,wearetryingtodeceiveourselves。WhatisPaultous——andJerusalem?WeareBarnabasandTitus?Weknownotthemen。Beforeweknowweseizethebook,swingitroundourhead,andflingitwithallourmighttothefurtherendoftheroom。Weputdownourheadagainandweep。
  Youthandignorance;isthereanythingelsethatcanweepso?Itisasthoughthetearsweredropsofbloodcongealedbeneaththeeyelids;nothingelseislikethosetears。Afteralongtimeweareweakwithcrying,andliesilent,andbychanceweknockagainstthewoodthatstopsthebrokenpane。Itfalls。Uponourhotstifffaceasweetbreathofwindblows。Weraiseourhead,andwithourswolleneyeslookoutatthebeautifulstillworld,andthesweetnight—windblowsinuponus,holyandgentle,likealovingbreathfromthelipsofGod。Overusadeeppeacecomes,acalm,stilljoy;thetearsnowflowreadilyandsoftly。Oh,theunutterablegladness!Atlast,atlastwehavefoundit!"ThepeacewithGod。""Thesenseofsinsforgiven。"Alldoubtvanished,God’svoiceinthesoul,theHolySpiritfillingus!WefeelHim!WefeelHim!Oh,JesusChrist,throughyou,throughyouthisjoy!Wepressourhandsuponourbreastandlookupwardwithadoringgladness。Softwavesofblissbreakthroughus。
  "ThepeacewithGod。""Thesenseofsinsforgiven。"Methodistsandrevivalistssaythewords,andthemockingworldshootsoutitslip,andwalksbysmiling——"Hypocrite。"
  Therearemorefoolsandfewerhypocritesthanthewiseworlddreamsof。
  Thehypocriteisrareasicebergsinthetropics;thefoolcommonasbuttercupsbesideawater—furrow:whetheryougothiswayorthatyoutreadonhim;youdarenotlookatyourownreflectioninthewaterbutyouseeone。Thereisnocantphrase,rottenwithage,butitwasthedressofalivingbody;nonebutatheartitsignifiesarealbodilyormentalconditionwhichsomehavepassedthrough。
  Afterhoursandnightsoffrenziedfearofthesupernaturaldesiretoappeasethepowerabove,afiercequiveringexcitementineveryinchofnerveandbloodvessel,therecomesatimewhennaturecannotendurelonger,andthespringlongbentrecoils。Wesinkdownemasculated。Upcreepsthedeadlydeliciouscalm。
  "Ihaveblottedoutasacloudthysins,andasathickcloudthytrespasses,andwillrememberthemnomoreforever。"Weweepwithsofttransportingjoy。
  Afewexperiencethis;manyimaginetheyexperienceit,onehereandthereliesaboutit。Inthemain,"ThepeacewithGod;asenseofsinsforgiven,"standsforacertainmentalandphysicalreaction。Itsrealitythoseknowwhohavefeltit。
  Andwe,onthatmoonlightnight,putdownourheadonthewindow,"Oh,God!
  wearehappy,happy;thychildforever。Oh,thankyou,God!"andwedropasleep。
  NextmorningtheBiblewekiss。WeareGod’sforever。Wegoouttowork,anditgoeshappilyallday,happilyallnight;buthardlysohappily,nothappilyatall,thenextday;andthenextnightthedevilasksus,"whereisyourHolySpirit?"
  Wecannottell。