首页 >出版文学> THE SONG OF THE LARK>第34章
  Nobodyis。"Herepeatedtheloveliestphrase。"Howdoesshemanageit,Landry?You’veworkedwithher。"
  Landrydrewcherishinglyonthelastcigarettehemeanttopermithimselfbeforesinging。"Oh,it’saquestionofabigpersonality——andallthatgoeswithit。Brains,ofcourse。Imagination,ofcourse。Buttheimportantthingisthatshewasbornfullofcolor,witharichpersonality。
  That’sagiftofthegods,likeafinenose。Youhaveit,oryouhaven’t。Againstit,intelligenceandmusicianshipandhabitsofindustrydon’tcountatall。Singersareaconventionalrace。WhenTheawasstudyinginBerlintheothergirlsweremortallyafraidofher。Shehasapretty
  roughhandwithwomen,dullones,andshecouldberude,too!ThegirlsusedtocallherDIEWOLFIN。"
  Fredthrusthishandsintohispocketsandleanedbackagainstthepiano。"Ofcourse,evenastupidwomancouldgeteffectswithsuchmachinery:suchavoiceandbodyandface。Buttheycouldn’tpossiblybelongtoastupidwoman,couldthey?"
  Landryshookhishead。"It’spersonality;that’sasnearasyoucancometoit。That’swhatconstitutesrealequip—
  ment。Whatshedoesisinterestingbecauseshedoesit。
  Eventhethingsshediscardsaresuggestive。Iregretsomeofthem。Herconceptionsarecoloredinsomanydifferentways。You’veheardherELIZABETH?Wonderful,isn’tit?
  Shewasworkingonthatpartyearsagowhenhermotherwasill。Icouldseeheranxietyandgriefgettingmoreandmoreintothepart。Thelastactisheart—breaking。
  It’sashomelyasacountryprayermeeting:mightbeanylonelywomangettingreadytodie。It’sfullofthethingeveryplaincreaturefindsoutforhimself,butthatnevergetswrittendown。It’sunconsciousmemory,maybe;
  inheritedmemory,likefolk—music。Icallitpersonality。"
  Fredlaughed,andturningtothepianobegancoaxingtheFRICKAmusicagain。"Callitanythingyoulike,myboy。Ihaveanameforitmyself,butIshan’ttellyou。"
  HelookedoverhisshoulderatLandry,stretchedoutbythefire。"Youhaveagreattimewatchingher,don’tyou?"
  "Oh,yes!"repliedLandrysimply。"I’mnotinterestedinmuchthatgoesoninNewYork。Now,ifyou’llexcuseme,I’llhavetodress。"Herosewithareluctantsigh。
  "CanIgetyouanything?Somewhiskey?"
  "Thankyou,no。I’llamusemyselfhere。Idon’toftengetachanceatagoodpianowhenI’mawayfromhome。
  Youhaven’thadthisonelong,haveyou?Action’sabitstiff。Isay,"hestoppedLandryinthedoorway,"hasTheaeverbeendownhere?"
  Landryturnedback。"Yes。ShecameseveraltimeswhenIhaderysipelas。Iwasanicemess,withtwonurses。Shebroughtdownsomeinsidewindow—boxes,plantedwithcrocusesandthings。Verycheering,onlyI
  couldn’tseethemorher。"
  "Didn’tshelikeyourplace?"
  "Shethoughtshedid,butIfancyitwasagooddealclutteredupforhertaste。Icouldhearherpacingaboutlikesomethinginacage。Shepushedthepianobackagainstthewallandthechairsintocorners,andshebrokemyamberelephant。"Landrytookayellowobjectsomefourincheshighfromoneofhislowbookcases。"Youcanseewherehislegisgluedon,——asouvenir。Yes,he’slemonamber,veryfine。"
  LandrydisappearedbehindthecurtainsandinamomentFredheardthewheezeofanatomizer。Heputtheamberelephantonthepianobesidehimandseemedtogetagreatdealofamusementoutofthebeast。
  IX
  WHENArchieandOttenburgdinedwithTheaonSaturdayevening,theywereserveddownstairsinthehoteldining—room,buttheyweretohavetheircoffeeinherownapartment。Astheyweregoingupintheele—
  vatorafterdinner,FredturnedsuddenlytoThea。"Andwhy,please,didyoubreakLandry’samberelephant?"
  Shelookedguiltyandbegantolaugh。"Hasn’thegotoverthatyet?Ididn’treallymeantobreakit。Iwasper—
  hapscareless。Histhingsaresoover—pettedthatIwastemptedtobecarelesswithalotofthem。"
  "Howcanyoubesoheartless,whenthey’reallhehasintheworld?"
  "Hehasme。I’magreatdealofdiversionforhim;allheneeds。There,"shesaidassheopenedthedoorintoherownhall,"Ishouldn’thavesaidthatbeforetheelevatorboy。"
  "Evenanelevatorboycouldn’tmakeascandalaboutOliver。He’ssuchacatnipman。"
  Dr。Archielaughed,butThea,whoseemedsuddenlytohavethoughtofsomethingannoying,repeatedblankly,"Catnipman?"
  "Yes,helivesoncatnip,andrumtea。Buthe’snottheonlyone。YouarelikeaneccentricoldwomanIknowinBoston,whogoesaboutinthespringfeedingcatniptostreetcats。Youdispenseittoalotoffellows。Yourpullseemstobemorewithmenthanwithwomen,youknow;
  withseasonedmen,aboutmyage,orolder。EvenonFri—
  dayafternoonIkeptrunningintothem,oldboysIhadn’tseenforyears,thinatthepartandthickatthegirth,untilIstoodstillinthedraftandheldmyhairon。They’real—
  waysthere;Ihearthemtalkingaboutyouinthesmoking—
  room。Probablywedon’tgettothepointofapprehendinganythinggooduntilwe’reaboutforty。Then,inthelightofwhatisgoing,andofwhat,Godhelpus!iscoming,wearriveatunderstanding。"
  "Idon’tseewhypeoplegototheopera,anyway,——seri—
  ouspeople。"Shespokediscontentedly。"Isupposetheygetsomething,orthinktheydo。Here’sthecoffee。There,please,"shedirectedthewaiter。Goingtothetableshebe—
  gantopourthecoffee,standing。Sheworeawhitedresstrimmedwithcrystalswhichhadrattledagooddealdur—
  ingdinner,asallhermovementshadbeenimpatientandnervous,andshehadtwistedthedarkvelvetroseathergirdleuntilitlookedrumpledandweary。Shepouredthecoffeeasifitwereaceremonyinwhichshedidnotbelieve。
  "CanyoumakeanythingofFred’snonsense,Dr。Archie?"
  sheasked,ashecametotakehiscup。
  Fredapproachedher。"Mynonsenseisallright。Thesamebrandhasgonewithyoubefore。It’syouwhowon’tbejollied。What’sthematter?Youhavesomethingonyourmind。"
  "I’veagooddeal。Toomuchtobeanagreeablehos—
  tess。"Sheturnedquicklyawayfromthecoffeeandsatdownonthepianobench,facingthetwomen。"Foronething,there’sachangeinthecastforFridayafternoon。
  They’regoingtoletmesingSIEGLINDE。"Herfrowndidnotconcealthepleasurewithwhichshemadethisannounce—
  ment。
  "Areyougoingtokeepusdanglingabouthereforever,Thea?ArchieandIaresupposedtohaveotherthingstodo。"Fredlookedatherwithanexcitementquiteasap—
  parentasherown。
  "HereI’vebeenreadytosingSIEGLINDEfortwoyears,keptintorment,andnowitcomesoffwithintwoweeks,justwhenIwanttobeseeingsomethingofDr。Archie。I
  don’tknowwhattheirplansaredownthere。AfterFridaytheymayletmecoolforseveralweeks,andtheymayrush
  me。IsupposeitdependssomewhatonhowthingsgoFri—
  dayafternoon。"
  "Oh,they’llgofastenough!That’sbettersuitedtoyourvoicethananythingyou’vesunghere。ThatgivesyoueveryopportunityI’vewaitedfor。"Ottenburgcrossedtheroomandstandingbesideherbegantoplay"DUBISTDERLENZ。"
  WithaviolentmovementTheacaughthiswristsandpushedhishandsawayfromthekeys。
  "Fred,can’tyoubeserious?AthousandthingsmayhappenbetweenthisandFridaytoputmeout。Some—
  thingwillhappen。Ifthatpartweresungwell,aswellasitoughttobe,itwouldbeoneofthemostbeautifulthingsintheworld。That’swhyitneverissungright,andneverwillbe。"Sheclenchedherhandsandopenedthemde—
  spairingly,lookingoutoftheopenwindow。"It’sinac—
  cessiblybeautiful!"shebroughtoutsharply。
  FredandDr。Archiewatchedher。Inamomentsheturnedbacktothem。"It’simpossibletosingapartlikethatwellforthefirsttime,exceptforthesortwhowillneversingitanybetter。Everythinghangsonthatfirstnight,andthat’sboundtobebad。Thereyouare,"sheshruggedimpatiently。"Foronething,theychangethecastattheeleventhhourandthenrehearsethelifeoutofme。"
  Ottenburgputdownhiscupwithexaggeratedcare。
  "Still,youreallywanttodoit,youknow。"
  "Wantto?"sherepeatedindignantly;"ofcourseIwantto!IfthiswereonlynextThursdaynight——ButbetweennowandFridayI’lldonothingbutfretawaymystrength。
  Oh,I’mnotsayingIdon’tneedtherehearsals!ButI
  don’tneedthemstrungoutthroughaweek。Thatsys—
  tem’swellenoughforphlegmaticsingers;itonlydrainsme。Everysinglefeatureofoperaticroutineisdetri—
  mentaltome。Iusuallygoonlikeahorsethat’sbeenfixedtolosearace。Ihavetoworkhardtodomyworst,
  letalonemybest。Iwishyoucouldhearmesingwell,once,"sheturnedtoFreddefiantly;"Ihave,afewtimesinmylife,whentherewasnothingtogainbyit。"
  Fredapproachedheragainandheldouthishand。"I
  recallmyinstructions,andnowI’llleaveyoutofightitoutwithArchie。Hecan’tpossiblyrepresentmanagerialstu—
  piditytoyouasIseemtohaveagiftfordoing。"
  Ashesmileddownather,hisgoodhumor,hisgoodwishes,hisunderstanding,embarrassedherandrecalledhertoherself。Shekeptherseat,stillholdinghishand。
  "Allthesame,Fred,isn’tittoobad,thattherearesomanythings——"Shebrokeoffwithashakeofthehead。
  "Mydeargirl,ifIcouldbridgeovertheagonybetweennowandFridayforyou——Butyouknowtherulesofthegame;whytormentyourself?Yousawtheothernightthatyouhadthepartunderyourthumb。Nowwalk,sleep,playwithArchie,keepyourtigerhungry,andshe’llspringallrightonFriday。I’llbetheretoseeher,andthere’llbemorethanI,Isuspect。Harsanyi’sontheWilhelmderGrosse;getsinonThursday。"
  "Harsanyi?"Thea’seyelighted。"Ihaven’tseenhimforyears。Wealwaysmisseachother。"Shepaused,hesi—
  tating。"Yes,Ishouldlikethat。Buthe’llbebusy,may—
  be?"
  "HegiveshisfirstconcertatCarnegieHall,weekafternext。Bettersendhimaboxifyoucan。"
  "Yes,I’llmanageit。"Theatookhishandagain。"Oh,Ishouldlikethat,Fred!"sheaddedimpulsively。"EvenifIwereputout,he’dgettheidea,"——shethrewbackherhead,——"forthereisanidea!"
  "Whichwon’tpenetratehere,"hetappedhisbrowandbegantolaugh。"Youareanungratefulhuzzy,COMMELES
  AUTRES!"
  Theadetainedhimasheturnedaway。Shepulledafloweroutofabouquetonthepianoandabsentlydrewthestemthroughthelapelofhiscoat。"Ishallbewalking
  intheParkto—morrowafternoon,onthereservoirpath,betweenfourandfive,ifyoucaretojoinme。YouknowthatafterHarsanyiI’dratherpleaseyouthananyoneelse。
  Youknowalot,butheknowsevenmorethanyou。"
  "Thankyou。Don’ttrytoanalyzeit。SCHLAFENSIE
  WOHL!"hekissedherfingersandwavedfromthedoor,closingitbehindhim。
  "He’stherightsort,Thea。"Dr。Archielookedwarmlyafterhisdisappearingfriend。"I’vealwayshopedyou’dmakeitupwithFred。"
  "Well,haven’tI?Oh,marryhim,youmean!Perhapsitmaycomeabout,someday。Justatpresenthe’snotinthemarriagemarketanymorethanIam,ishe?"
  "No,Isupposenot。It’sadamnedshamethatamanlikeOttenburgshouldbetiedupasheis,wastingallthebestyearsofhislife。Awomanwithgeneralparesisoughttobelegallydead。"
  "Don’tletustalkaboutFred’swife,please。Hehadnobusinesstogetintosuchamess,andhehadnobusinesstostayinit。He’salwaysbeenasoftywherewomenwereconcerned。"
  "Mostofusare,I’mafraid,"Dr。Archieadmittedmeekly。
  "Toomuchlightinhere,isn’tthere?Tiresone’seyes。
  Thestagelightsarehardonmine。"Theabeganturningthemout。"We’llleavethelittleone,overthepiano。"
  ShesankdownbyArchieonthedeepsofa。"Wetwohavesomuchtotalkaboutthatwekeepawayfromitaltogether;
  haveyounoticed?Wedon’tevennibbletheedges。IwishwehadLandryhereto—nighttoplayforus。He’sverycomforting。"
  "I’mafraidyoudon’thaveenoughpersonallife,outsideyourwork,Thea。"Thedoctorlookedatheranxiously。
  Shesmiledathimwithhereyeshalfclosed。"Mydeardoctor,Idon’thaveany。Yourworkbecomesyourper—
  sonallife。Youarenotmuchgooduntilitdoes。It’slike
  beingwovenintoabigweb。Youcan’tpullaway,becauseallyourlittletendrilsarewovenintothepicture。Ittakesyouup,andusesyou,andspinsyouout;andthatisyourlife。Notmuchelsecanhappentoyou。"
  "Didn’tyouthinkofmarrying,severalyearsago?"
  "YoumeanNordquist?Yes;butIchangedmymind。
  Wehadbeensingingagooddealtogether。He’sasplendidcreature。"
  "Wereyoumuchinlovewithhim,Thea?"thedoctoraskedhopefully。
  Shesmiledagain。"Idon’tthinkIknowjustwhatthatexpressionmeans。I’veneverbeenabletofindout。I
  thinkIwasinlovewithyouwhenIwaslittle,butnotwithanyonesincethen。Thereareagreatmanywaysofcaringforpeople。It’snot,afterall,asimplestate,likemeaslesortonsilitis。Nordquistisatakingsortofman。
  HeandIwereoutinarowboatonceinaterriblestorm。
  Thelakewasfedbyglaciers,——icewater,——andwecouldn’thaveswumastrokeiftheboathadfilled。Ifwehadn’tbothbeenstrongandkeptourheads,we’dhavegonedown。Wepulledforeveryouncetherewasinus,andwejustgotoffwithourlives。Wewerealwaysbeingthrowntogetherlikethat,undersomekindofpressure。
  Yes,forawhileIthoughthewouldmakeeverythingright。"Shepausedandsankback,restingherheadonacushion,pressinghereyelidsdownwithherfingers。"Yousee,"shewentonabruptly,"hehadawifeandtwochil—
  dren。Hehadn’tlivedwithherforseveralyears,butwhensheheardthathewantedtomarryagain,shebegantomaketrouble。Heearnedagooddealofmoney,buthewascarelessandalwayswretchedlyindebt。Hecametomeonedayandtoldmehethoughthiswifewouldsettleforahundredthousandmarksandconsenttoadivorce。
  Igotveryangryandsenthimaway。Nextdayhecamebackandsaidhethoughtshe’dtakefiftythousand。"
  Dr。Archiedrewawayfromher,totheendofthesofa。
  "GoodGod,Thea,"——Heranhishandkerchiefoverhisforehead。"Whatsortofpeople——"Hestoppedandshookhishead。
  Thearoseandstoodbesidehim,herhandonhisshoul—
  der。"That’sexactlyhowitstruckme,"shesaidquietly。
  "Oh,wehavethingsincommon,thingsthatgoawayback,undereverything。Youunderstand,ofcourse。Nordquistdidn’t。HethoughtIwasn’twillingtopartwiththemoney。Icouldn’tletmyselfbuyhimfromFruNord—
  quist,andhecouldn’tseewhy。HehadalwaysthoughtI
  wascloseaboutmoney,soheattributedittothat。Iamcareful,"——sheranherarmthroughArchie’sandwhenherosebegantowalkabouttheroomwithhim。"I
  can’tbecarelesswithmoney。Ibegantheworldonsixhundreddollars,anditwasthepriceofaman’slife。RayKennedyhadworkedhardandbeensoberanddeniedhim—
  self,andwhenhediedhehadsixhundreddollarstoshowforit。Ialwaysmeasurethingsbythatsixhundreddol—
  lars,justasImeasurehighbuildingsbytheMoonstonestandpipe。Therearestandardswecan’tgetawayfrom。"
  Dr。Archietookherhand。"Idon’tbelieveweshouldbeanyhappierifwedidgetawayfromthem。Ithinkitgivesyousomeofyourpoise,havingthatanchor。Youlook,"glancingdownatherheadandshoulders,"some—
  timessolikeyourmother。"
  "Thankyou。Youcouldn’tsayanythingnicertomethanthat。OnFridayafternoon,didn’tyouthink?"
  "Yes,butatothertimes,too。Ilovetoseeit。DoyouknowwhatIthoughtaboutthatfirstnightwhenIheardyousing?IkeptrememberingthenightItookcareofyouwhenyouhadpneumonia,whenyouweretenyearsold。
  Youwereaterriblysickchild,andIwasacountrydoctorwithoutmuchexperience。Therewerenooxygentanksaboutthen。Youprettynearlyslippedawayfromme。
  Ifyouhad——"
  Theadroppedherheadonhisshoulder。"I’dhave
  savedmyselfandyoualotoftrouble,wouldn’tI?DearDr。Archie!"shemurmured。
  "Asforme,lifewouldhavebeenaprettybleakstretch,withyouleftout。"Thedoctortookoneofthecrystalpendantsthathungfromhershoulderandlookedintoitthoughtfully。"IguessI’maromanticoldfellow,under—
  neath。Andyou’vealwaysbeenmyromance。Thoseyearswhenyouweregrowingupweremyhappiest。WhenIdreamaboutyou,Ialwaysseeyouasalittlegirl。"
  Theypausedbytheopenwindow。"Doyou?Nearlyallmydreams,exceptthoseaboutbreakingdownonthestageormissingtrains,areaboutMoonstone。Youtellmetheoldhousehasbeenpulleddown,butitstandsinmymind,everystickandtimber。InmysleepIgoallaboutit,andlookintherightdrawersandcupboardsforeverything。IoftendreamthatI’mhuntingformyrub—
  bersinthatpileofovershoesthatwasalwaysunderthehatrackinthehall。Ipickupeveryovershoeandknowwhoseitis,butIcan’tfindmyown。ThentheschoolbellbeginstoringandIbegintocry。That’sthehouseIrestinwhenI’mtired。Alltheoldfurnitureandthewornspotsinthecarpet——itrestsmymindtogooverthem。"
  Theywerelookingoutofthewindow。Theakepthisarm。Downontheriverfourbattleshipswereanchoredinline,brilliantlylighted,andlauncheswerecomingandgoing,bringingthemenashore。Asearchlightfromoneoftheironcladswasplayingonthegreatheadlanduptheriver,whereitmakesitsfirstresoluteturn。Overheadthenight—blueskywasintenseandclear。
  "There’ssomuchthatIwanttotellyou,"shesaidatlast,"andit’shardtoexplain。Mylifeisfullofjealousiesanddisappointments,youknow。Yougettohatingpeoplewhodocontemptibleworkandwhogetonjustaswellasyoudo。Therearemanydisappointmentsinmyprofession,andbitter,bittercontempts!"Herfacehardened,andlookedmucholder。"Ifyoulovethegoodthingvitally,enoughto
  giveupforitallthatonemustgiveupforit,thenyoumusthatethecheapthingjustashard。Itellyou,thereissuchathingascreativehate!Acontemptthatdrivesyouthroughfire,makesyouriskeverythingandloseeverything,makesyoualongsightbetterthanyoueverknewyoucouldbe。"AssheglancedatDr。Archie’sface,Theastoppedshortandturnedherownfaceaway。Hereyesfollowedthepathofthesearchlightuptheriverandrestedupontheilluminedheadland。
  "Yousee,"shewentonmorecalmly,"voicesareacci—
  dentalthings。Youfindplentyofgoodvoicesincommonwomen,withcommonmindsandcommonhearts。LookatthatwomanwhosangORTRUDEwithmelastweek。She’snewhereandthepeoplearewildabouther。`Suchabeau—
  tifulvolumeoftone!’theysay。Igiveyoumywordshe’sasstupidasanowlandascoarseasapig,andanyonewhoknowsanythingaboutsingingwouldseethatinaninstant。Yetshe’squiteaspopularasNecker,who’sagreatartist。HowcanIgetmuchsatisfactionoutoftheenthusiasmofahousethatlikesheratrociouslybadper—
  formanceatthesametimethatitpretendstolikemine?
  Iftheylikeher,thentheyoughttohissmeoffthestage。
  Westandforthingsthatareirreconcilable,absolutely。
  Youcan’ttrytodothingsrightandnotdespisethepeo—
  plewhodothemwrong。HowcanIbeindifferent?Ifthatdoesn’tmatter,thennothingmatters。Well,some—
  timesI’vecomehomeasIdidtheothernightwhenyoufirstsawme,sofullofbitternessthatitwasasifmymindwerefullofdaggers。AndI’vegonetosleepandwakenedupintheKohlers’garden,withthepigeonsandthewhiterabbits,sohappy!Andthatsavesme。"Shesatdownonthepianobench。Archiethoughtshehadforgottenallabouthim,untilshecalledhisname。Hervoicewassoftnow,andwonderfullysweet。Itseemedtocomefromsome—
  wheredeepwithinher,thereweresuchstrongvibrationsinit。"Yousee,Dr。Archie,whatonereallystrivesforin
  artisnotthesortofthingyouarelikelytofindwhenyoudropinforaperformanceattheopera。Whatonestrivesforissofaraway,sodeep,sobeautiful"——sheliftedhershoulderswithalongbreath,foldedherhandsinherlapandsatlookingathimwitharesignationthatmadeherfacenoble,——"thatthere’snothingonecansayaboutit,Dr。Archie。"
  Withoutknowingverywellwhatitwasallabout,Archiewaspassionatelystirredforher。"I’vealwaysbe—
  lievedinyou,Thea;alwaysbelieved,"hemuttered。
  Shesmiledandclosedhereyes。"Theysaveme:theoldthings,thingsliketheKohlers’garden。Theyareinevery—
  thingIdo。"
  "Inwhatyousing,youmean?"
  "Yes。Notinanydirectway,"——shespokehurriedly,——"thelight,thecolor,thefeeling。Mostofallthefeeling。
  ItcomesinwhenI’mworkingonapart,likethesmellofagardencominginatthewindow。Itryallthenewthings,andthengobacktotheold。Perhapsmyfeelingswerestrongerthen。Achild’sattitudetowardeverythingisanartist’sattitude。Iammoreorlessofanartistnow,butthenIwasnothingelse。WhenIwentwithyoutoChicagothatfirsttime,Icarriedwithmetheessentials,thefoundationofallIdonow。ThepointtowhichIcouldgowasscratchedinmethen。Ihaven’treachedityet,byalongway。"
  Archiehadaswiftflashofmemory。Picturespassedbeforehim。"Youmean,"heaskedwonderingly,"thatyouknewthenthatyouweresogifted?"
  Thealookedupathimandsmiled。"Oh,Ididn’tknowanything!NotenoughtoaskyouformytrunkwhenI
  neededit。Butyousee,whenIsetoutfromMoonstonewithyou,Ihadhadarich,romanticpast。Ihadlivedalong,eventfullife,andanartist’slife,everyhourofit。
  Wagnersays,inhismostbeautifulopera,thatartisonlyawayofrememberingyouth。Andtheolderwegrowthe
  morepreciousitseemstous,andthemorerichlywecanpresentthatmemory。Whenwe’vegotitallout,——thelast,thefinestthrillofit,thebrightesthopeofit,"——sheliftedherhandaboveherheadanddroppedit,——"thenwestop。Wedonothingbutrepeatafterthat。Thestreamhasreachedthelevelofitssource。That’sourmeasure。"
  Therewasalong,warmsilence。Theawaslookinghardatthefloor,asifshewereseeingdownthroughyearsandyears,andheroldfriendstoodwatchingherbenthead。