"I’mjustreadingBrowning,"heconfessed,"andit’sprettytough。I
haven’tgotveryfaralong,andasitisI’veaboutlostmybearings。"
Nottobetiresome,IshallsaythatIfetchedthebookfromhisstate—roomandread"Caliban"aloud。Hewasdelighted。Itwasaprimitivemodeofreasoningandoflookingatthingsthatheunderstoodthoroughly。Heinterruptedagainandagainwithcommentandcriticism。WhenIfinished,hehadmereaditoverasecondtime,andathird。Wefellintodiscussion——philosophy,science,evolution,religion。Hebetrayedtheinaccuraciesoftheself—readman,and,itmustbegranted,thesurenessanddirectnessoftheprimitivemind。Theverysimplicityofhisreasoningwasitsstrength,andhismaterialismwasfarmorecompellingthanthesubtlycomplexmaterialismofCharleyFuruseth。NotthatI,——aconfirmedand,asFurusethphrasedit,atemperamentalidealist,——wastobecompelled;butthatWolfLarsenstormedthelaststrongholdsofmyfaithwithavigorthatreceivedrespect,whilenotaccordedconviction。
Timepassed。Supperwasathandandthetablenotlaid。becamerestlessandanxious,andwhenThomasMugridgeglareddownthecompanionway,sickandangryofcountenance,Ipreparedtogoaboutmyduties。ButWolfLarsencriedouttohim:——
"Cooky,you’vegottohustleto—night。I’mbusywithHump,andyou’lldothebestyoucanwithouthim。"
Andagaintheunprecedentedwasestablished。ThatnightIsatattablewiththecaptainandthehunters,whileThomasMugridgewaitedonusandwashedthedishesafterward——awhim,aCaliban—moodofWolfLarsen’s,andoneIforesawwouldbringmetrouble。Inthemeantimewetalkedandtalked,muchtothedisgustofthehunters,whocouldnotunderstandaword。TheSeaWolf:Chapter9CHAPTER9
Threedaysofrest,threeblesseddaysofrest,arewhatIhadwithWolfLarsen,eatingatthecabintableanddoingnothingbutdiscusslife,literature,andtheuniverse,thewhileThomasMugridgefumedandragedanddidmyworkaswellashisown。
"Watchoutforsqualls,isallIcansaytoyou,"wasLouis’swarning,givenduringasparehalf—hourondeckwhileWolfLarsenwasengagedinstraighteningoutarowamongthehunters。
"Yecan’ttellwhat’llbehappenin’,"Louiswenton,inresponsetomyqueryformoredefiniteinformation。"Theman’sascontraryasaircurrentsorwatercurrents。Youcanneverguessthewaysivhim。’Tisjustasyou’rethinkin’youknowhimandaremakin’afavorableslantalonghim,thathewhirlsaround,deadahead,andcomeshowlin’downuponyouanda—rippin’
allivyourfine—weathersailstorags。"
SoIwasnotaltogethersurprisedwhenthesquallforetoldbyLouissmoteme。Wehadbeenhavingaheateddiscussion,——uponlife,ofcourse,——and,grownoverbold,IwaspassingstiffstricturesuponWolfLarsenandthelifeofWolfLarsen。Infact,Iwasvivisectinghimandturningoverhissoul—stuffaskeenlyandthoroughlyasitwashiscustomtodoittoothers。ItmaybeaweaknessofminethatIhaveanincisivewayofspeech;butIthrewallrestrainttothewindsandcutandslasheduntilthewholemanofhimwassnarling。Thedarksun—bronzeofhisfacewentblackwithwrath,hiseyeswereablaze。Therewasnoclearnessorsanityinthem——nothingbuttheterrificrageofamadman。ItwasthewolfinhimthatIsaw,andamadwolfatthat。
Hesprangformewithahalf—roar,grippingmyarm。Ihadsteeledmyselftobrazenitout,thoughIwastremblinginwardly;buttheenormousstrengthofthemanwastoomuchformyfortitude。Hehadgrippedmebythebicepswithhissinglehand,andwhenthatgriptightenedIwiltedandshriekedaloud。Myfeetwentoutfromunderme。Isimplycouldnotstanduprightandenduretheagony。Themusclesrefusedtheirduty。Thepainwastoogreat。Mybicepswasbeingcrushedtoapulp。
Heseemedtorecoverhimself,foralucidgleamcameintohiseyes,andherelaxedhisholdwithashortlaughthatwasmorelikeagrowl。
Ifelltothefloor,feelingveryfaint,whilehesatdown,lightedacigar,andwatchedmeasacatwatchesamouse。AsIwrithedaboutIcouldseeinhiseyesthatcuriosityIhadsooftennoted,thatwonderandperplexity,thatquesting,thateverlastingqueryofhisastowhatitwasallabout。
Ifinallycrawledtomyfeetandascendedthecompanionstairs。Fairweatherwasover,andtherewasnothingleftbuttoreturntothegalley。
Myleftarmwasnumb,asthoughparalyzed,anddayspassedbeforeIcoulduseit,whileweekswentbybeforethelaststiffnessandpainwentoutofit。Andhehaddonenothingbutputhishanduponmyarmandsqueeze。
Therehadbeennowrenchingorjerking。Hehadjustclosedhishandwithasteadypressure。WhathemighthavedoneIdidnotfullyrealizetillnextday,whenheputhisheadintothegalley,and,asasignofrenewedfriendliness,askedmehowmyarmwasgettingon。
"Itmighthavebeenworse,"hesmiled。
Iwaspeelingpotatoes。Hepickedoneupfromthepan。Itwasfair—sized,firm,andunpeeled。Heclosedhishanduponit,squeezed,andthepotatosquirtedoutbetweenhisfingersinmushystreams。Thepulpyremnanthedroppedbackintothepanandturnedaway,andIhadasharpvisionofhowitmighthavefaredwithmehadthemonsterputhisrealstrengthuponme。
Butthethreedays’restwasgoodinspiteofitall,forithadgivenmykneetheverychanceitneeded。Itfeltmuchbetter,theswellinghadmateriallydecreased,andthecapseemeddescendingintoitsproperplace。
Also,thethreedays’restbroughtthetroubleIhadforeseen。ItwasplainlyThomasMugridge’sintentiontomakemepayforthosethreedays。Hetreatedmevilely,cursedmecontinually,andheapedhisownworkuponme。Heevenventuredtoraisehisfisttome,butIwasbecominganimal—likemyself,andIsnarledinhisfacesoterriblythatitmusthavefrightenedhimback。ItisnopleasantpictureIcanconjureupofmyself,HumphreyVanWeyden,inthatnoisomeship’sgalley,crouchedinacornerovermytask,myfaceraisedtothefaceofthecreatureabouttostrikeme,mylipsliftedandsnarlinglikeadog’s,myeyesgleamingwithfearandhelplessnessandthecouragethatcomesoffearandhelplessness。Idonotlikethepicture。Itremindsmetoostronglyofaratinatrap。Idonotcaretothinkofit;butitwaseffective,forthethreatenedblowdidnotdescend。
ThomasMugridgebackedaway,glaringashatefullyandviciouslyasI
glared。Apairofbeastsiswhatwewere,pennedtogetherandshowingourteeth。Hewasacoward,afraidtostrikemebecauseIhadnotquailedsufficientlyinadvance;sohechoseanewwaytointimidateme。Therewasonlyonegalleyknifethat,asaknife,amountedtoanything。This,throughmanyyearsofserviceandwear,hadacquiredalong,leanblade。Itwasunusuallycruel—looking,andatfirstIhadshudderedeverytimeIusedit。ThecookborrowedastonefromJohansenandproceededtosharpentheknife。Hediditwithgreatostentation,glancingsignificantlyatmethewhile。Hewhetteditupanddownalldaylong。Everyoddmomenthecouldfindhehadtheknifeandstoneoutandwaswhettingaway。Thesteelacquiredarazoredge。
Hetrieditwiththeballofhisthumboracrossthenail。Heshavedhairsfromthebackofhishand,glancedalongtheedgewithmicroscopicacuteness,andfound,orfeignedthathefound,always,aslightinequalityinitsedgesomewhere。Thenhewouldputitonthestoneagainandwhet,whet,whet,tillIcouldhavelaughedaloud,itwassoveryludicrous。
Itwasalsoserious,forIlearnedthathewascapableofusingit,thatunderallhiscowardicetherewasacourageofcowardice,likemine,thatwouldimpelhimtodotheverythinghiswholenatureprotestedagainstdoingandwasafraidofdoing。"Cooky’ssharpeninghisknifeforHump,"
wasbeingwhisperedaboutamongthesailors,andsomeofthemtwittedhimaboutit。Thishetookingoodpart,andwasreallypleased,noddinghisheadwithdirefulforeknowledgeandmystery,untilGeorgeLeach,theerstwhilecabin—boy,venturedsomeroughpleasantryonthesubject。
NowithappenedthatLeachwasoneofthesailorstoldofftodouseMugridgeafterhisgameofcardswiththecaptain。LeachhadevidentlydonehistaskwithathoroughnessthatMugridgehadnotforgiven,forwordsfollowedandevilnamesinvolvingsmirchedancestries。Mugridgemenacedwiththeknifehewassharpeningforme。LeachlaughedandhurledmoreofhisTelegraphHillbillingsgate,andbeforeeitherheorIknewwhathadhappened,hisrightarmhadbeenrippedopenfromelbowtowristbyaquickslashoftheknife。Thecookbackedaway,afiendishexpressiononhisface,theknifeheldbeforehiminapositionofdefence。ButLeachtookitquitecalmly,thoughbloodwasspoutinguponthedeckasgenerouslyaswaterfromafountain。
"I’mgoin’togetyou,Cooky,"hesaid,"andI’llgetyouhard。AndIwon’tbeinnohurryaboutit。You’llbewithoutthatknifewhenIcomeforyou。"
Sosaying,heturnedandwalkedquietlyforward。Mugridge’sfacewaslividwithfearatwhathehaddoneandatwhathemightexpectsoonerorlaterfromthemanhehadstabbed。Buthisdemeanortowardmewasmoreferociousthanever。Inspiteofhisfearatthereckoninghemustexpecttopayforwhathehaddone,hecouldseethatithadbeenanobject—lessontome,andhebecamemoredomineeringandexultant。Alsotherewasalustinhim,akintomadness,whichhadcomewithsightofthebloodhehaddrawn。Hewasbeginningtoseeredinwhateverdirectionhelooked。Thepsychologyofitissadlytangled,andyetcouldreadtheworkingsofhismindasclearlyasthoughitwereaprintedbook。
Severaldayswentby,theGhoststillfoamingdownthetrades,andIcouldswearIsawmadnessgrowinginThomasMugridge’seyes。AndIconfessthatIbecameafraid,verymuchafraid。Whet,whet,whet,itwentalldaylong。Thelookinhiseyesashefeltthekeenedgeandglaredatmewaspositivelycarnivorous。Iwasafraidtoturnmyshouldertohim,andwhenIleftthegalleyIwentoutbackwards——totheamusementofthesailorsandhunters,whomadeapointofgatheringingroupstowitnessmyexit。Thestrainwastoogreat。sometimesthoughtmymindwouldgivewayunderit——ameetthingonthisshipofmadmenandbrutes。Everyhour,everyminuteofmyexistencewasinjeopardy。Iwasahumansoulindistress,andyetnosoul,foreoraft,betrayedsufficientsympathytocometomyaid。AttimesIthoughtofthrowingmyselfonthemercyofWolfLarsen,butthevisionofthemockingdevilinhiseyesthatquestionedlifeandsneeredatitwouldcomestronguponmeandcompelmetorefrain。AtothertimesIseriouslycontemplatedsuicide,andthewholeforceofmyhopefulphilosophywasrequiredtokeepmefromgoingoverthesideinthedarknessofnight。
SeveraltimesWolfLarsentriedtoinveiglemeintodiscussion,butIgavehimshortanswersandeludedhim。Finally,hecommandedmetoresumemyseatatthecabintableforatimeandletthecookdomywork。ThenIspokefrankly,tellinghimwhatIwasenduringfromThomasMugridgebecauseofthethreedaysoffavoritismwhichhadbeenshownme。WolfLarsenregardedmewithsmilingeyes。
"Soyou’reafraid,eh?"hesneered。
"Yes,"Isaiddefiantlyandhonestly,"Iamafraid。"
"That’sthewaywithyoufellows,"hecried,halfangrily,"sentimentalizingaboutyourimmortalsoulsandafraidtodie。AtsightofasharpknifeandacowardlyCockneytheclingingoflifetolifeovercomesallyourfondfoolishness。Why,mydearfellow,youwillliveforever。Youareagod,andGodcannotbekilled。Cookycannothurtyou。Youaresureofyourresurrection。What’stheretobeafraidof?
"Youhaveeternallifebeforeyou。Youareamillionnaireinimmortality,andamillionnairewhosefortunecannotbelost,whosefortuneislessperishablethanthestarsandaslastingasspaceortime。Itisimpossibleforyoutodiminishyourprincipal。Immortalityisathingwithoutbeginningorend。Eternityiseternity,andthoughyoudiehereandnowyouwillgoonlivingsomewhereelseandhereafter。Anditisallverybeautiful,thisshakingoffofthefleshandsoaringoftheimprisonedspirit。Cookycannothurtyou。Hecanonlygiveyouaboostonthepathyoueternallymusttread。
"Or,ifyoudonotwishtobeboostedjustyet,whynotboostCooky?
Accordingtoyourideas,he,too,mustbeanimmortalmillionnaire。Youcannotbankrupthim。Hispaperwillalwayscirculateatpar。Youcannotdiminishthelengthofhislivingbykillinghim,forheiswithoutbeginningorend。He’sboundtogoonliving,somewhere,somehow。Thenboosthim。
Stickaknifeinhimandlethisspiritfree。Asitis,it’sinanastyprison,andyou’lldohimonlyakindnessbybreakingdownthedoor。Andwhoknows?——itmaybeaverybeautifulspiritthatwillgosoaringupintothebluefromthatuglycarcass。Boosthimalong,andI’llpromoteyoutohisplace,andhe’sgettingforty—fivedollarsamonth。"
ItwasplainthatIcouldlookfornohelpormercyfromWolfLarsen。
WhateverwastobedoneImustdoformyself;andoutofthecourageoffearIevolvedtheplanoffightingThomasMugridgewithhisownweapons。
IborrowedawhetstonefromJohansen。Louis,theboat—steerer,hadalreadybeggedmeforcondensedmilkandsugar。Thelazarette,wheresuchdelicacieswerestored,wassituatedbeneaththecabinfloor。Watchingmychance,Istolefivecansofthemilk,andthatnight,whenitwasLouis’swatchondeck,Itradedthemwithhimforadirkasleanandcruel—lookingasThomasMugridge’svegetableknife。Itwasrustyanddull,butIturnedthegrindstonewhileLouisgaveitanedge。Isleptmoresoundlythanusualthatnight。
Nextmorning,afterbreakfast,ThomasMugridgebeganhiswhet,whet,whet。Iglancedwarilyathim,forIwasonmykneestakingtheashesfromthestove。WhenIreturnedfromthrowingthemoverside,hewastalkingtoHarrison,whosehonestyokel’sfacewasfilledwithfascinationandwonder。
"Yes,"Mugridgewassaying,"an’wotdoes’isworshipdobutgivemetwoyearsinReading。ButblimeyifIcared。Theothermugwasfixedplenty。
Should’aseen’im。Knifejustlikethis。Istuckitin,likeintosoftbutter,an’thew’y’esquealedwasbetter’natu—pennygaff。"HeshotaglanceinmydirectiontoseeifIwastakingitin,andwenton。"`I
didn’tmeanit,Tommy,’’ewassnifflin’;`so’elpmeGawd,Ididn’tmeanit!’`I’llfixyerbloodywellright,’Isez,an’keptrightafter’im。
Icut’iminribbons,that’swotIdid,an’’ea—squealin’allthetime。
Once’egot’is’andontheknifean’triedto’oldit。’Ad’isfingersaroundit,butIpulleditthrough,cuttin’tothebone。O,’ewasasight,Icantellyer。"
Acallfromthemateinterruptedthegorynarrative,andHarrisonwentaft。Mugridgesatdownontheraisedthresholdtothegalleyandwentonwithhisknife—sharpening。Iputtheshovelawayandcalmlysatdownonthecoal—boxfacinghim。Hefavoredmewithaviciousstare。Stillcalmly,thoughmyheartwasgoingpitapat,pulledoutLouis’sdirkandbegantowhetitonthestone。IhadlookedforalmostanysortofexplosionontheCockney’spart,buttomysurprisehedidnotappearawareofwhatIwasdoing。Hewentonwhettinghisknife。SodidI。Andfortwohourswesatthere,facetoface,whet,whet,whet,tillthenewsofitspreadabroadandhalftheship’scompanywascrowdingthegalleydoorstoseethesight。
Encouragementandadvicewerefreelytendered,andJockHorner,thequiet,self—spokenhunterwholookedasthoughhewouldnotharmamouse,advisedmetoleavetheribsaloneandtothrustupwardfortheabdomen,atthesametimegivingwhathecalledthe"Spanishtwist"totheblade。
Leach,hisbandagedarmprominentlytothefore,beggedmetoleaveafewremnantsofthecookforhim;andWolfLarsenpausedonceortwiceatthebreakofthepooptoglancecuriouslyatwhatmusthavebeentohimastirringandcrawlingoftheyeastythingheknewaslife。
AndImakefreetosaythatforthetimebeinglifeassumedthesamesordidvaluestome。Therewasnothingprettyaboutit,nothingdivine——onlytwocowardlymovingthingsthatsatwhettingsteeluponstone,andagroupofothermovingthings,cowardlyandotherwise,thatlookedon。Halfofthem,Iamsure,wereanxioustoseeussheddingeachother’sblood。Itwouldhavebeenentertainment。AndIdonotthinktherewasonewhowouldhaveinterferedhadweclosedinadeath—struggle。
Ontheotherhand,thewholethingwaslaughableandchildish。Whet,whet,whet,——HumphreyVanWeydensharpeninghisknifeinaship’sgalleyandtryingitsedgewithhisthumb!Ofallsituationsthiswasthemostinconceivable。Iknowthatmyownkindcouldnothavebelieveditpossible。
Ihadnotbeencalled"Sissy"VanWeydenallmydayswithoutreason,andthat"Sissy"VanWeydenshouldbecapableofdoingthisthingwasarevelationtoHumphreyVanWeyden,whoknewnotwhethertobeexultantorashamed。
Butnothinghappened。AttheendoftwohoursThomasMugridgeputawayknifeandstoneandheldouthishand。
"Wot’sthegoodofmykin’a’olyshowofourselvesforthemmugs?"hedemanded。"Theydon’tloveus,an’bloodywellgladthey’dbea—seein’
uscuttin’ourthroats。Yernot’arfbad,’Ump!You’vegotspunk,asyouYankss’y,an’Ilikeyerinaw’y。Socomeonan’shyke。"
CowardthatImightbe,Iwaslessacowardthanhe。ItwasadistinctvictoryIhadgained,andIrefusedtoforegoanyofitbyshakinghisdetestablehand。
"Allright,"hesaidpridelessly,"tykeitorleaveit,I’lllikeyernonethelessforit。"Andtosavehisfaceheturnedfiercelyupontheonlookers。"Getoutamygalley—doors,youbloomin’swabs!"
Thiscommandwasreinforcedbyasteamingkettleofwater,andatsightofitthesailorsscrambledoutoftheway。ThiswasasortofvictoryforThomasMugridge,andenabledhimtoacceptmoregracefullythedefeatIhadgivenhim,though,ofcourse,hewastoodiscreettoattempttodrivethehuntersaway。
"IseeCooky’sfinish,"IheardSmokesaytoHorner。
"Youbet,"wasthereply。"Humprunsthegalleyfromnowon,andCookypullsinhishorns。"
Mugridgeheardandshotaswiftglanceatme,butIgavenosignthattheconversationhadreachedme。Ihadnotthoughtmyvictorywassofar—reachingandcomplete,butIresolvedtoletgonothingIhadgained。Asthedayswentby,Smoke’sprophecywasverified。TheCockneybecamemorehumbleandslavishtomethaneventoWolfLarsen。Imisteredhimandsirredhimnolonger,washednomoregreasypots,andpeelednomorepotatoes。Ididmyownwork,andmyownworkonly,andwhenandinwhatfashionIsawfit。
Also,Icarriedthedirkinasheathatmyhip,sailor—fashion,andmaintainedtowardThomasMugridgeaconstantattitudewhichwascomposedofequalpartsofdomineering,insult,andcontempt。TheSeaWolf:Chapter10CHAPTER10
MyintimacywithWolfLarsenincreases——ifbyintimacymaybedenotedthoserelationswhichexistbetweenmasterandman,or,betteryet,betweenkingandjester。Iamtohimnomorethanatoy,andhevaluesmenomorethanachildvaluesatoy。Myfunctionistoamuse,andsolongasIamuseallgoeswell;butlethimbecomebored,orlethimhaveoneofhisblackmoodscomeuponhim,andatonceIamrelegatedfromcabintabletogalley,while,atthesametime,Iamfortunatetoescapewithmylifeandawholebody。
Thelonelinessofthemanisslowlybeingborneinuponme。Thereisnotamanaboardbuthatesorfearshim,noristhereamanwhomhedoesnotdespise。Heseemsconsumingwiththetremendouspowerthatisinhimandthatseemsnevertohavefoundadequateexpressioninworks。HeisasLuciferwouldbe,werethatproudspiritbanishedtoasocietyofsoulless,Tomlinsonianghosts。
Thislonelinessisbadenoughinitself,but,tomakeitworse,heisoppressedbytheprimalmelancholyoftherace。Knowinghim,reviewtheoldScandinavianmythswithclearerunderstanding。Thewhite—skinned,fair—hairedsavageswhocreatedthatterriblepantheonwereofthesamefibreashe。
Thefrivolityofthelaughter—lovingLatinsisnopartofhim。Whenhelaughsitisfromahumorthatisnothingelsethanferocious。Buthelaughsrarely;heistoooftensad。Anditisasadnessasdeep—reachingastherootsoftherace。Itistheraceheritage,thesadnesswhichhasmadetheracesober—minded,clean—lived,andfanaticallymoral,andwhich,inthislatterconnection,hasculminatedamongtheEnglishintheReformedChurchandMrs。Grundy。
Inpointoffact,thechiefventtothisprimalmelancholyhasbeenreligioninitsmoreagonizingforms。ButthecompensationsofsuchreligionaredeniedWolfLarsen。Hisbrutalmaterialismwillnotpermitit。So,whenhisbluemoodscomeon,nothingremainsforhimbuttobedevilish。
Werehenotsoterribleaman,Icouldsometimesfeelsorryforhim,asinstancethreemorningsago,whenIwentintohisstate—roomtofillhiswater—bottleandcameunexpectedlyuponhim。Hedidnotseeme。Hisheadwasburiedinhishands,andhisshoulderswereheavingconvulsivelyaswithsobs。Heseemedtornbysomemightygrief。AsIsoftlywithdrewI
couldhearhimgroaning,"God!God!God!"NotthathewascallinguponGod;itwasamereexpletive,butitcamefromhissoul。
Atdinnerheaskedthehuntersforaremedyforheadache,andbyevening,strongmanthathewas,hewashalf—blindandreelingaboutthecabin。
"I’veneverbeensickinmylife,Hump,"hesaid,asIguidedhimtohisroom。"NordidIeverhaveaheadacheexceptthetimemyheadwashealingafterhavingbeenlaidopenforsixinchesbyacapstan—bar。"
Forthreedaysthisblindingheadachelasted,andhesufferedaswildanimalssuffer,asitseemedthewayonshiptosuffer,withoutplaint,withoutsympathy,utterlyalone。
Thismorning,however,onenteringhisstate—roomtomakethebedandputthingsinorder,Ifoundhimwellandhardatwork。Tableandbunkwerelitteredwithdesignsandcalculations。Onalargetransparentsheet,compassandsquareinhand,hewascopyingwhatappearedtobeascaleofsomesortorother。
"Hello,Hump,"hegreetedmegenially。"I’mjustfinishingthefinishingtouches。Wanttoseeitwork?"
"Butwhatisit?"Iasked。
"Alabor—savingdeviceformariners,navigationreducedtokindergartensimplicity,"heansweredgayly。"Fromto—dayachildwillbeabletonavigateaship。Nomorelong—windedcalculations。Allyouneedisonestarintheskyonadirtynighttoknowinstantlywhereyouare。Look。Iplacethetransparentscaleonthisstar—map,revolvingthescaleontheNorthPole。
OnthescaleI’veworkedoutthecirclesofaltitudeandthelinesofbearing。
AllIdoistoputitonastar,revolvethescaletillitisoppositethosefiguresonthemapunderneath,andpresto!thereyouare,theship’spreciselocation!"
Therewasaringoftriumphinhisvoice,andhiseyes,clearbluethismorningasthesea,weresparklingwithlight。
"Youmustbewellupinmathematics,"Isaid。"Wheredidyougotoschool?"
"Neversawtheinsideofone,worseluck,"wastheanswer。"hadtodigitoutformyself。"
"AndwhydoyouthinkIhavemadethisthing?"hedemanded,abruptly。
"Dreamingtoleavefootprintsonthesandsoftime?"Helaughedoneofhishorriblemockinglaughs。"Notatall。Togetitpatented,tomakemoneyfromit,torevelinpiggishnesswithallnightinwhileothermendothework。That’smypurpose。Also,Ihaveenjoyedworkingitout。"
"Thecreativejoy,"Imurmured。
"Iguessthat’swhatitoughttobecalled。Whichisanotherwayofexpressingthejoyoflifeinthatitisalive,thetriumphofmovementovermatter,ofthequickoverthedead,theprideoftheyeastbecauseitisyeastandcrawls。"
Ithrewupmyhandswithhelplessdisapprovalofhisinveteratematerialismandwentaboutmakingthebed。Hecontinuedcopyinglinesandfiguresuponthetransparentscale。Itwasataskrequiringtheutmostnicetyandprecision,andIcouldnotbutadmirethewayhetemperedhisstrengthtothefinenessanddelicacyoftheneed。
WhenIhadfinishedthebed,Icaughtmyselflookingathiminafascinatedsortofway。Hewascertainlyahandsomeman——beautifulinthemasculinesense。Andagain,withnever—failingwonder,remarkedthetotallackofviciousness,orwickedness,orsinfulness,inhisface。Itwastheface,Iamconvinced,ofamanwhodidnowrong。AndbythisIdonotwishtobemisunderstood。WhatImeanisthatitwasthefaceofamanwhoeitherdidnothingcontrarytothedictatesofhisconscience,orwhohadnoconscience。
Iaminclinedtothelatterwayofaccountingforit。Hewasamagnificentatavism,amansopurelyprimitivethathewasofthetypethatcameintotheworldbeforethedevelopmentofthemoralnature。Hewasnotimmoral,butmerelyunmoral。
AsIhavesaid,inthemasculinesensehiswasabeautifulface。Smooth—shaven,everylinewasdistinct,anditwascutasclearandsharpasacameo;
whileseaandsunhadtannedthenaturallyfairskintoadarkbronzewhichbespokestruggleandbattleandaddedbothtohissavageryandhisbeauty。
Thelipswerefull,yetpossessedofthefirmness,almostharshness,whichischaracteristicofthinlips。Thesetofhismouth,hischin,hisjaw,waslikewisefirmorharsh,withallthefiercenessandindomitablenessofthemale——thenosealso。Itwasthenoseofabeingborntoconquerandcommand。Itjusthintedoftheeaglebeak。ItmighthavebeenGrecian,itmighthavebeenRoman,onlyitwasashadetoomassivefortheone,ashadetoodelicatefortheother。Andwhilethewholefacewastheincarnationoffiercenessandstrength,theprimalmelancholyfromwhichhesufferedseemedtogreatenthelinesofmouthandeyeandbrow,seemedtogivealargenessandcompletenesswhichotherwisethefacewouldhavelacked。
第6章