Leavingthesofawithasigh。asifhewastiredofit，hebeganwalkingupanddown。Heseemedtobestillingoodspirits。
　　"Well，mydear，"hesaid，"whatcanIdoforyou？"
　　"Icamehere，papatoseeiftherewasanythingIcoulddoforYou。"
　　Helookedatsomesheetsofpaper，strungtogether，andlaidonthetable。Theywerecoveredwithwriting（fromhisdictation）inmysister’shand。"Ioughttogetonwithmywork，"hesaid。
　　"WhereisHelena？"
　　Itoldhimthatshehadgoneout，andbeggedleavetotrywhatI
　　coulddotosupplyherplace。
　　Therequestseemedtopleasehim；buthewantedtimetothink。I
　　waited；noticingthathisfacegrewgraduallyworriedandanxious。Therecameavacantlookintohiseyeswhichitgrievedmetosee；heappearedtohavequitelosthimselfagain。"Readthelastpage，"hesaid，pointingtothemanuscriptonthetable；
　　"Idon’trememberwhereIleftoff。"
　　Iturnedtothelastpage。AswellasIcouldtell，itrelatedtosomepublication，whichhewasrecommendingtoreligiouspersonsofourwayofthinking。
　　BeforeIhadreadhalf—waythroughit，hebegantodictate，speakingsorapidlythatmypenwasnotalwaysabletofollowhim。MyhandwritingisasbadasbadcanbewhenIamhurried。Tomakemattersworsestill，Iwasconfused。WhathewasnowsayingseemedtohavenothingtodowithwhatIhadbeenreading。
　　LetmetryifIcancalltomindthesubstanceofit。
　　Hebeganinthemoststrangelysuddenwaybyasking："Whyshouldtherebeanyfearofdiscovery，wheneverypossiblecarehadbeentakentopreventit？Thedangerfromunexpectedeventswasfarmoredisquieting。Amanmightfindhimselfboundinhonortodisclosewhatithadbeenthechiefanxietyofhislifetoconceal。Forexample，couldheletaninnocentpersonbethevictimofdeliberatesuppressionofthetruth——nomatterhowjustifiablethatsuppressionmightappeartobe？Ontheotherhand，dreadfulconsequencesmightfollowanhonorableconfession。
　　Theremightbeacruelsacrificeoftenderaffection；theremightbeashockingbetrayalofinnocenthopeandtrust。"
　　Irememberthoselastwords，justashedictatedthem，becausehesuddenlystoppedthere；looking，poordear，distressedandconfused。Heputhishandtohishead，andwentbacktothesofa。
　　"I’mtired，"hesaid。"WaitformewhileIrest。"
　　Inafewminuteshefellasleep。Itwasadeepreposethatcametohimnow；and，thoughIdon’tthinkitlastedmuchlongerthanhalfanhour，itproducedawonderfulchangeinhimforthebetterwhenhewoke。Hespokequietlyandkindly；andwhenhereturnedtomeatthetableandlookedatthepageonwhichIhadbeenwriting，hesmiled。
　　"Oh，mydear，whatbadwriting！IdeclareIcan’treadwhatI
　　myselftoldyoutowrite。No！no！don’tbedownheartedaboutit。
　　Youarenotusedtowritingfromdictation；andIdaresayIhavebeentooquickforyou。"Hekissedmeandencouragedme。"YouknowhowfondIamofmylittlegirl，"hesaid；"IamafraidI
　　likemyEunicejusttheleastintheworldmorethanIlikemyHelena。Ah，youarebeginningtolookalittlehappiernow！"
　　HehadfilledmewithsuchconfidenceandsuchpleasurethatI
　　couldnothelpthinkingofmysweetheart。Ohdear，whenshallI
　　learntobedistrustfulofmyownfeelings？ThetemptationtosayagoodwordforPhilipquitemasteredanylittlediscretionthatIpossessed。
　　Isaidtopapa："IfyouknewhowtomakemehappierthanIhaveeverbeeninallmylifebefore，wouldyoudoit？"
　　"OfcourseIwould。"
　　"ThensendforPhilip，dear，andbealittlekindertohim，thistime。"
　　Hispalefaceturnedredwithanger；hepushedmeawayfromhim。
　　"Thatmanagain！"heburstout。"AmInevertohearthelastofhim？Goaway，Eunice。Youareofnousehere。"Hetookupmyunfortunatepageofwritingandridiculeditwithabitterlaugh。
　　"Whatisthisfitfor？"Hecrumpleditupinhishandandtosseditintothefire。
　　IranoutoftheroominsuchastateofmortificationthatI
　　hardlyknewwhatIwasabout。Ifsomehard—heartedpersonhadcometomewithacupofpoison，andhadsaid："Eunice，youarenotfittoliveanylonger；takethis，"IdobelieveIshouldhavetakenit。IfIthoughtofanything，IthoughtofgoingbacktoSelina。Myillluckstillpursuedme；shehaddisappeared。I
　　lookedaboutinahelplessway，completelyatalosswhattodonext——sostupefied，Imayevensay，thatitwassometimebeforeInoticedalittlethree—cornerednoteonthetablebywhichI
　　wasstanding。Thenotewasaddressedtome：
　　"EVER—DEARESTEUNEECE——Ihavetriedtomakemyselfusefultoyou，andhavefailed。ButhowcanIseethesadsightofyourwretchedness，andnotfeeltheimpulsetotryagain？IhavegonetothehoteltofindPhilip，andtobringhimbacktoyouapenitentandfaithfulman。Waitforme，andhopeforgreatthings。A。hundredthousandkissestomysweetEuneece。
　　"S。J。"
　　Waitforher，afterreadingthatnote！Howcouldsheexpectit？I
　　hadonlytofollowher，andtofindPhilip。Inanotherminute，I
　　wasonmywaytothehotel。
　　CHAPTERXXVIII。
　　HELENA’SDIARY。
　　LOOKINGatthelastentryinmyJournal，Iseemyselfanticipatingthattheeventofto—daywilldecidePhilip’sfutureandmine。Thishasprovedprophetic。Allfurtherconcealmentisnowatanend。
　　Forcedtoitbyfate，orhelpedtoitbychance，Eunicehasmadethediscoveryofherlover’sinfidelity。"Inallhumanprobability"（asmyfathersaysinhissermons），wetwosistersareenemiesforlife。
　　Iamnotsuspected，asEuniceis，ofmakingappointmentswithasweetheart。SoIamfreetogooutalone，andtogowhereI
　　please。PhilipandIwerepunctualtoourappointmentthisafternoon。
　　Ourplaceofmeetingwasinasecludedcornerofthetownpark。
　　Wefoundarusticseatinourretirement，setup（onewouldsuppose）asaconcessiontothetasteofvisitorswhoarefondofsolitude。Theviewinfrontofuswasboundedbytheparkwallandrailings，andourseatwasprettilyapproachedononesidebyaplantationofyoungtrees。Noentrancegatewasnear；nocarriageroadcrossedthegrass。Amoresafeandmoresolitarynookforconversation，betweentwopersonsdesiringtobealone，itwouldbehardtofindinmostpublicparks。Loversaresaidtoknowitwell，andtobeespeciallyfondofittowardevening。Wewerethereinbroaddaylight，andwehadtheseattoourselves。
　　Mymemoryofwhatpassedbetweenusis，insomedegree，disturbedbytheformidableinterruptionwhichbroughtourtalktoanend。
　　Butamongotherthings，IrememberthatIshowedhimnomercyattheoutset。AtonetimeIwasindignant；atanotherIwasscornful。Ideclared，inregardtomyobjectinmeetinghim，thatIhadchangedmymind，Andhaddecidedtoshortenadisagreeableinterviewbywaivingmyrighttoanexplanation，andbiddinghimfarewell。Eunice，asIpointedout，hadthefirstclaimtohim；
　　Eunicewasmuchmorelikelytosuithim，asacompanionforlife，thanIwas。"Inshort，"Isaid，inconclusion，"myinclinationforoncetakessideswithmyduty，andleavesmysisterinundisturbedpossessionofyoungMr。Dunboyne。"Withthissatiricalexplanation，Irosetosaygood—by。
　　Ihadmerelyintendedtoirritatehim。HeshowedasuperioritytoangerforwhichIwasnotprepared。
　　"Besokindastositdownagain，"hesaidquietly。
　　Hetookmyletterfromhispocket，andpointedtothatpartofitwhichalludedtohisconduct，whenwehadmetinmyfather’sstudy。
　　"Youhaveofferedmetheopportunityofsayingawordinmyowndefense，"hewenton。"Iprizethatprivilegefartoohighlytoconsenttoyourwithdrawingit，merelybecauseyouhavechangedyourmind。Letmeatleasttellyouwhatmyerrandwas，whenI
　　calledonyourfather。Lovingyou，andyouonly，Ihadforcedmyselftomakealastefforttobetruetoyoursister。Rememberthat，Helena，andthensay——isitwonderfulifIwasbesidemyself，whenIfoundYouinthestudy？"
　　"Whenyoutellmeyouwerebesideyourself，"Isaid，"doyoumean，ashamedofyourself？"
　　Thattouchedhim。"Imeannothingofthekind，"heburstout。
　　"AfterthehellonearthinwhichIhavebeenlivingbetweenyoutwosisters，amanhasn’tvirtueenoughleftinhimtobeashamed。He’shalfmad——that’swhatheis。Lookatmyposition！I
　　hadmadeupmymindnevertoseeyouagain；Ihadmadeupmymind（ifImarriedEunice）toridmyselfofmyownmiserablelifewhenIcouldendureitnolonger。Inthatstateoffeeling，whenmysenseofdutydependedonmyspeakingwithMr。Gracedieualone，whosewasthefirstfaceIsawwhenIenteredtheroom？IfIhaddaredtolookatyou，ortospeaktoyou，whatdoyouthinkwouldhavebecomeofmyresolutiontosacrificemyself？"
　　"Whathasbecomeofitnow？"Iasked。
　　"TellmefirstifIamforgiven，"hesaid——"andyoushallknow。"
　　"Doyoudeservetobeforgiven？"
　　Ithasbeendiscoveredbywiserheadsthanminethatweakpeoplearealwaysinextremes。Sofar，IhadseenPhilipinthevainandviolentextreme。Henowshiftedsuddenlytothesadandsubmissiveextreme。WhenIaskedhimifhedeservedtobeforgiven，hemadethehumblestofallreplies——hesighedandsaidnothing。
　　"IfIdidmydutytomysister，"Iremindedhim，"Ishouldrefusetoforgiveyou，andsendyoubacktoEunice。"
　　"Yourfather’slanguageandyourfather’sconduct，"heanswered，"havereleasedmefromthatentanglement。IcannevergobacktoEunice。Ifyourefusetoforgiveme，neitheryounorshewillseeanythingmoreofPhilipDunboyne；Ipromiseyouthat。Areyousatisfiednow？"
　　Afterholdingoutagainsthimresolutely，Ifeltmyselfbeginningtoyield。Whenamanhasoncetakentheirfancy，whathelplesslyweakcreatureswomenare！Isawthroughhisvacillatingweakness——andyetItrustedhim，withbotheyesopen。Mylooking—glassisoppositetomewhileIwrite。ItshowsmeacontemptibleHelena。Ilied，andsaidIwassatisfied——toplease_him。_
　　"AmIforgiven？"heasked。
　　Itisabsurdtoputitonrecord。Ofcourse，Iforgavehim。WhatagoodChristianIam，afterall！
　　Hetookmywillinghand。"Mylovelydarling，"hesaid，"ourmarriagerestswithyou。Whetheryourfatherapprovesofitornot，saytheword；claimme，andIamyoursforlife。"
　　Imusthavebeeninfatuatedbyhisvoiceandhislook；myheartmusthavebeenburningunderthepressureofhishandonmine。
　　Wasitmymodestyormyself—controlthatdesertedme？Ilethimtakemeinhisarms。Again，andagain，andagainIkissedhim。Weweredeaftowhatweoughttohaveheard；wewereblindtowhatweoughttohaveseen。Beforewewereconsciousofamovementamongthetrees，wewerediscovered。Mysisterflewatmelikeawildanimal。Herfurioushandsfastenedthemselvesonmythroat。
　　Philipstartedtohisfeet。Whenhetouchedher，intheactofforcingherbackfromme，Eunice’sragingstrengthbecameutterweaknessinaninstant。Herarmsfellhelplessathersides——herheaddrooped——shelookedathiminsilencewhichwasdreadful，atsuchamomentasthat。Heshrankfromtheunendurablereproachinthosetearlesseyes。Meanly，heturnedawayfromher。Meanly，I
　　followedhim。Lookingbackforaninstant，Isawherstepforward；perhapstostophim，perhapstospeaktohim。Theeffortwastoomuchforherstrength；shestaggeredbackagainstthetrunkofatree。Likestrangers，walkingseparateonefromtheother，welefthertohercompanion——thehideoustraitresswhowasmyenemyandherfriend。
　　CHAPTERXXIX。
　　HELENA’SDIARY。
　　ONreachingthestreetwhichledtoPhilip’shotel，wespoketoeachotherforthefirsttime。
　　"Whatarewetodo？"Isaid。
　　"Leavethisplace，"heanswered。
　　"Together？"Iasked。
　　"Yes。"
　　Toleaveus（forawhile），afterwhathadhappened，mightbethewisestthingwhichaman，inPhilip’scriticalposition，coulddo。ButifIwentwithhim——unprovidedasIwaswithanyfriendofmyownsex，whosecharacterandpresencemightsanctionthestepIhadtaken——Ishouldbelostbeyondredemption。Isanymanthateverlivedworththatsacrifice？Ithoughtofmyfather’shouseclosedtome，andofourfriendsashamedofme。Ihaveowned，insomeearlierpartofmyJournal，thatIamnotverypatientunderdomesticcares。ButthepossibilityofEunicebeingappointedhousekeeper，withmypower，inmyplace，wasmorethanIcouldcalmlycontemplate。"No，"IsaidtoPhilip。"Yourabsence，atsuchatimeasthis，mayhelpusboth；but，comewhatmayofit，Imustremainathome。"
　　Heyielded，withoutanattempttomakemealtermymind。Therewasasullensubmissioninhismannerwhichitwasnotpleasanttosee。Washedespairingalreadyofhimselfandofme？HadEunicearousedthewatchfuldemonsofshameandremorse？
　　"Perhapsyouareright，"hesaid，gloomily。"Good—by。"
　　Myanxietyputtheall—importantquestiontohimwithouthesitation。
　　"Isitgood—byforever，Philip？"
　　Hisreplyinstantlyrelievedme："Godforbid！"
　　ButIwantedmore："Youstillloveme？"Ipersisted。
　　"Moredearlythanever！"
　　"Andyetyouleaveme！"
　　Heturnedpale。"IleaveyoubecauseIamafraid。"
　　"Afraidofwhat？"
　　"AfraidtofaceEuniceagain。"
　　TheonlypossiblewayoutofourdifficultythatIcouldsee，nowoccurredtome。"Supposemysistercanbeprevailedontogiveyouup？"Isuggested。"Wouldyoucomebacktousinthatcase？"
　　"Certainly！"
　　"Andyouwouldaskmyfathertoconsenttoourmarriage？"
　　"Onthedayofmyreturn，ifyoulike。"
　　"Supposeobstaclesgetinourway，"Isaid——"supposetimepassesandtriesyourpatience——willyoustillconsideryourselfengagedtome？"
　　"Engagedtoyou，"heanswered，"inspiteofobstaclesandinspiteoftime。"
　　"Andwhileyouareawayfromme，"Iventuredtoadd，"weshallwritetoeachother？"
　　"GowhereImay，"hesaid，"youshallalwayshearfromme。"
　　Icouldasknomore，andhecouldconcedenomore。TheimpressionevidentlyleftonhimbyEunice’sterribleoutbreak，wasfarmoreseriousthanIhadanticipated。Iwasmyselfdepressedandillatease。Noexpressionsoftendernesswereexchangedbetweenus。
　　Therewassomethinghorribleinourbarrenfarewell。Wemerelyclaspedhands，atparting。Hewenthisway——andIwentmine。
　　Therearesomeoccasionswhenwomensetanexampleofcouragetomen。Iwasreadytoendurewhatevermighthappentome，whenI
　　gothome。Whatadesperatewretch！somepeoplemightsay，iftheycouldlookintothisdiary！
　　Mariaopenedthedoor；shetoldmethatmysisterhadalreadyreturned，accompaniedbyMissJillgall。Therehadbeenapparentlysomedifferenceofopinionbetweenthem，beforetheyenteredthehouse。Eunicehadattemptedtogoontosomeotherplace；andMissJillgallhadremonstrated。Mariahadheardhersay："No，youwoulddegradeyourself"——and，withthat，shehadledEuniceindoors。Iunderstood，ofcourse，thatmysisterhadbeenpreventedfromfollowingPhiliptothehotel。Therewasprobablyaseriousquarrelinstoreforme。Iwentstraighttothebedroom，expectingtofindEunicethere，andpreparedtobravethestormthatmightburstonme。TherewasawomanatEunice’sendoftheroom，removingdressesfromthewardrobe。Icouldonlyseeherback，butitwasimpossibletomistake_that_
　　figure——MissJillgall。
　　ShelaidthedressesonEunice’sbed，withouttakingtheslightestnoticeofme。InsignificantsilenceIpointedtothedoor。Shewentonascoollywithheroccupationasiftheroomhadbeen，notminebuthers；Isteppeduptoher，andspokeplainly。
　　"Youobligemetoremindyou，"Isaid，"thatyouarenotinyourownroom。"There，Iwaitedalittle，andfoundthatIhadproducednoeffect。"Witheverydisposition，"Iresumed，"tomakeallowanceforthedisagreeablepeculiaritiesofyourcharacter，I
　　cannotconsenttooverlookanactofintrusion，committedbyaSpy。Now，doyouunderstandme？"
　　Shelookedroundher。"Iseenothirdpersonhere，"shesaid。
　　"MayIaskifyoumeanme？"
　　"Imeanyou。"
　　"Willyoubesogood，MissHelena，astoexplainyourself？"
　　Moderationoflanguagewouldhavebeenthrownawayonthiswoman。
　　"Youfollowedmetothepark，"Isaid。"ItwasyouwhofoundmewithMr。Dunboyne，andbetrayedmetomysister。YouareaSpy，andyouknowit。Atthisverymomentyoudaren’tlookmeintheface。"
　　Herinsolenceforceditswayoutofheratlast。Letmerecordit——andrepayit，whenthetimecomes。
　　"Quitetrue，"shereplied。"IfIventuredtolookyouintheface，IamafraidImightforgetmyself。Ihavealwaysbeenbroughtuplikealady，andIwishtoshowiteveninthecompanyofsuchawretchasyouare。Thereisnotonewordoftruthinwhatyouhavesaidofme。IwenttothehoteltofindMr。
　　Dunboyne。Ah，youmaysneer！Ihaven’tgotyourgoodlooks——andavileuseyouhavemadeofthem。MyobjectwastorecallthatbaseyoungmantohisdutytomydearcharminginjuredEuneece。ThehotelservanttoldmethatMr。Dunboynehadgoneout。Oh，Ihadthemeansofpersuasioninmypocket！Themandirectedmetothepark，ashehadalreadydirectedMr。Dunboyne。ItwasonlywhenI
　　hadfoundtheplace，thatIheardsomeonebehindme。PoorinnocentEuneecehadfollowedmetothehotel，andhadgotherdirections，asIhadgotmine。GodknowshowhardItriedtopersuadehertogoback，andhowhorriblyfrightenedIwas——No！I
　　won’tdistressmyselfbysayingawordmore。Itwouldbetoohumiliatingtolet_you_seeanhonestwomanintears。Yoursisterhasaspiritofherown，thankGod！Shewon’tinhabitthesameroomwithyou；sheneverdesirestoseeyourfalsefaceagain。Itakethepoorsoul’sdressesandthingsaway——andasareligiouspersonIwait，confidentlywait，forthejudgmentthatwillfallonyou！"
　　Shecaughtupthedressesalltogether；someofthemwereinherarms，someofthemfellonhershoulders，andoneofthemtoweredoverherhead。Smotheredingowns，shebouncedoutoftheroomlikeawalkingmilliner’sshop。Ihavetothankthewretchedoldcreatureforamomentofgenuineamusement，atatimeofdevouringanxiety。Themeanestinsect，theysay，hasitsuseinthisworld——andwhynotMissJillgall？
　　Inhalfanhourmore，anunexpectedeventraisedmyspirits。I
　　heardfromPhilip。
　　Onhisreturntothehotelhehadfoundatelegramwaitingforhim。Mr。DunboynetheelderhadarrivedinLondon；andPhiliphadarrangedtojoinhisfatherbythenexttrain。Hesentmetheaddress，andbeggedthatIwouldwriteandtellhimmynewsfromhomebythenextday’spost。
　　Welcome，thricewelcome，toMr。Dunboynetheelder！IfPhilipcanmanage，undermyadvice，toplacemefavorablyintheestimationofthisricholdman，hispresenceandauthoritymaydoforuswhatwecannotdoforourselves。Hereissurelyaninfluencetowhichmyfathermustsubmit，nomatterhowunreasonableorhowangryhemaybewhenhehearswhathashappened。Ibeginalreadytofeelhopefulofthefuture。
　　CHAPTERXXX。
　　EUNICE’SDIARY。
　　THROUGHtheday，andthroughthenight，Ifeelamiserythatneverleavesme——Imeanthemiseryoffear。
　　Iamtryingtofindoutsomeharmlessmeansofemployingmyself，whichwillkeepevilremembrancesfromme。IfIdon’tsucceed，myfeartellsmewhatwillhappen。Ishallbeindangerofgoingmad。
　　Idarenotconfideinanylivingcreature。Idon’tknowwhatotherpersonsmightthinkofme，orhowsoonImightfindmyselfperhapsinanasylum。Inthishelplesscondition，doubtandfrightseemtobedrivingmebacktomyJournal。IwonderwhetherIshallfindharmlessemploymenthere。
　　Ihaveheardofoldpeoplelosingtheirmemories。WhatwouldI
　　notgivetobeold！Iremember！oh，howIremember！OnedayafteranotherIseePhilip，IseeHelena，asIfirstsawthemwhenI
　　wasamongthetreesinthepark。Mysweetheart’sarms，thatonceheldme，holdmysisternow。Shekisseshim，kisseshim，kisseshim。
　　Istherenowayofmakingmyselfseesomethingelse？Iwanttogetbacktoremembrancesthatdon’tburninmyheadandtearatmyheart。Howisittobedone？
　　Ihavetriedbooks——no！Ihavetriedgoingouttolookattheshops——no！Ihavetriedsayingmyprayers——no！AndnowIammakingmylasteffort；tryingmypen。Myblacklettersfallfromit，andtaketheirplacesonthewhitepaper。Willmyblacklettershelpme？WherecanIfindsomethingconsolingtowritedown？Where？Where？
　　Selina——poorSelina，sofondofme，sosorryforme。WhenIwashappy，shewashappy，too。Itwasalwaysamusingtohearhertalk。Oh，mymemory，begoodtome！SavemefromPhilipandHelena。IwanttorememberthepleasantdayswhenmykindlittlefriendandIusedtogossipinthegarden。
　　No：thedaysinthegardenwon’tcomeback。WhatelsecanIthinkof？
　　TherecollectionsthatItrytoencouragekeepawayfromme。TheotherrecollectionsthatIdread，comecrowdingback。StillPhilip！StillHelena！
　　ButSelinamixesherselfupwiththem。LetmetryagainifIcanthinkofSelina。
　　Howdelightfullygoodtomeandpatientwithmeshewas，onourdismalwayhomefromthepark！Andhowaffectionatelysheexcusedherselffornothavingwarnedmeofit，whenshefirstsuspectedthatmyownsisterandmyworstenemywereoneandthesame！
　　"IknowIwaswrong，mydear，toletmyloveandpityclosemylips。Butrememberhowhappyyouwereatthetime。ThethoughtofmakingyoumiserablewasmorethanIcouldendure——Iamsofondofyou！Yes；Ibegantosuspectthem，onthedaywhentheyfirstmetatthestation。And，Iamafraid，IthoughtitjustlikelythatyoumightbeascunningasIwas，andhavenoticedthem，too。"
　　Oh，howignorantshemusthavebeenofmytruethoughtsandfeelings！Howstrangelypeopleseemtomisunderstandtheirdearestfriends！knowing，asIdid，thatIcouldneverloveanymanbutPhilip，couldIbewickedenoughtosupposethatPhilipwouldloveanywomanbutme？
　　IexplainedtoSelinahowhehadspokentome，whenwewerewalkingtogetheronthebankoftheriver。ShallIeverforgetthoseexquisitewords？"IwishIwasabetterman，Eunice；IwishIwasgoodenoughtobeworthyofyou。"IaskedSelinaifshethoughthewasdeceivingmewhenhesaidthat。Shecomfortedmebyowningthathemusthavebeeninearnest，atthetime——andthenshedistressedmebygivingthereasonwhy。
　　"Mylove，youmusthaveinnocentlysaidsomethingtohim，whenyouandhewerealone，whichtouchedhisconscience（whenhe_had_aconscience），andmadehimashamedofhimself。Ah，youweretoofondofhimtoseehowhechangedfortheworse，whenyourvilesisterjoinedyou，andtookpossessionofhimagain。Itmademyheartachetoseeyousounsuspiciousofthem。Youaskedme，mypoordear，iftheyhadquarreled——youbelievedtheyweretiredofwalkingbytheriver，whenitwasyoutheyweretiredof——andyouwonderedwhyHelenatookhimtoseetheschool。Mychild！shewastheleadingspiritattheschool，andyouwerenobody。Hervanitysawthechanceofmakinghimcompareyouatadisadvantagewithyourcleversister。Ideclare，Euneece，IlosemyheadifIonlythinkofit！Allthestrongpointsinmycharacterseemtoslipawayfromme。Wouldyoubelieveit？——I
　　haveneglectedthatsweetinfantatthecottage；IhaveevenletMrs。Mollyhaveherbabybackagain。IfIhadthemakingofthelaws，PhilipDunboyneandHelenaGracedieushouldbehangedtogetheronthesamegallows。IseeIshockyou。Don’tletustalkofit！Oh，don’tletustalkofit！"
　　AndhereamIwritingofit！WhatIhaddeterminednottodo，iswhatIhavedone。AmIlosingmysensesalready？TheverynamesthatIwasmostanxioustokeepoutofmymemorystaremeinthefaceinthelinesthatIhavejustwritten。Philipagain！Helenaagain！