首页 >出版文学> The Legacy of Cain>第10章
  "Donotbealarmed,mydearboy,atthechangefortheworseinmyhandwriting。Iamsufferingformydevotiontothestudioushabitsofalifetime:myrighthandisattackedbythemaladycalledWriter’sCramp。Thedoctorherecandonothing。Hetellsmeofsomeforeignwoman,mentionedinhisnewspaper,whocuresnervousderangementsofallkindsbyhand—rubbing,andwhoiscomingtoLondon。Whenyounexthearfromme,ImaybeinLondontoo。"——Theretheletterended。
  OfcourseIknewwhotheforeignwoman,mentionedinthenewspaper,was。
  ButwhatdoesMissJillgall’sfriendmattertome?Theoneimportantthingis,thatPhiliphasnotbeencalledbacktoIreland。Hereisafortunatecircumstance,whichperhapsmeansmoregoodluck。ImaybeMrs。PhilipDunboynebeforetheyearisout。
  CHAPTERXXV。
  HELENA’SDIARY。
  THEYallnoticeathomethatIamlookingwornandhaggard。Thathideousoldmaid,MissJillgall,hadhermaliciouswelcomereadyformewhenwemetatbreakfastthismorning:"DearHelena,whathasbecomeofyourbeauty?Onewouldthinkyouhadleftitinyourroom!"PoordeludedEuniceshowedhersisterlysympathy:
  "Don’tjokeaboutit,Selina:can’tyouseethatHelenaisill?"
  I_have_beenill;illofmyownwickedness。
  Buttherecoverytomytranquillitywillbringwithittherecoveryofmygoodlooks。MyfatalpassionforPhilippromisestobetheutterdestructionofeverythingthatisgoodinme。
  Well!whatisgoodinmemaynotbeworthkeeping。Thereisafateinthesethings。IfIamdestinedtorobEuniceoftheonedearobjectofherloveandhope——howcanIresist?TheonekindthingIcandoistokeepherinignoranceofwhatiscoming,byactsofaffectionatedeceit。
  Besides,ifshesuffers,Isuffertoo。InthelengthandbreadthofEngland,Idoubtifthereisamuchmorewickedyoungwomantobefoundthanmyself。Isitnothingtofeelthat,andtoendureitasIdo?
  Uponmyword,thereisnoexcuseforme!
  Isthissheerimpudence?No;itisthebentofmynature。Ihaveatendencytoself—examination,accompaniedbyonemerit——Idon’tsparemyself。
  ThereareexcusesforEunice。Shelivesinafools’paradise;andsheseesinherloveraradiantcreature,shininginthehalothrownoverhimbyherownself—delusion,Nothingofthissortistobesaidforme。IseePhilipasheis。Mypenetrationlooksintothelowestdepthsofhischaracter——whenIamnotinhiscompany。Thereseemstobeafoundationofgood,somewhereinhisnature。Hedespisesandhateshimself(hehasconfessedittome),whenEuniceiswithhim——stillbelievinginherfalsesweetheart。Buthowlongdothesebetterinfluenceslast?Ihaveonlytoshowmyself,inmysister’sabsence,andPhilipisminebodyandsoul。Hisvanityandhisweaknesstakepossessionofhimthemomentheseesmyface。Heisoneofthosemen——eveninmylittleexperienceIhavemetwiththem——whoareborntobeledbywomen。IfEunicehadpossessedmystrengthofcharacter,hewouldhavebeentruetoherforlife。
  OughtInot,injusticetomyself,tohaveliftedmyhearthighabovethereachofsuchacreatureasthis?CertainlyIought!I
  knowit,Ifeelit。Andyet,thereissomefascinationinhavinghimwhichIamabsolutelyunabletoresist。
  What,Iaskmyself,hasfedthenewflamewhichisburninginme?
  Diditbeginwithgratifiedpride?ImightwellfeelproudwhenI
  foundmyselfadmiredbyamanofhisbeauty,setoffbysuchmannersandsuchaccomplishmentsashis。Or,hasthegrowthofthismasterfulfeelingbeenencouragedbytheenvyandjealousystirredinme,whenIfoundEunice(myinferiorineveryrespect)
  distinguishedbythedevotionofahandsomelover,andhavingabrilliantmarriageinview——whileIwasleftneglected,withnoprospectofchangingmytitlefromMisstoMrs。?Vaininquiries!
  Mywickedheartseemstohavesecretsofitsown,andtokeepthemamysterytome。
  Whathasbecomeofmyexcellenteducation?Idon’tcaretoinquire;Ihavegotbeyondthereachofgoodbooksandreligiousexamples。Amongmyotherblamableactionstheremaynowbereckoneddisobediencetomyfather。Ihavebeenreadingnovelsinsecret。
  AtfirstItriedsomeofthefamousEnglishworks,publishedatapricewithinthereachofsmallpurses。Verywellwritten,nodoubt——butwithoneunpardonabledrawback,sofarasIamconcerned。Ourcelebratednativeauthorsaddressthemselvestogoodpeople,ortopenitentpeoplewhowanttobemadegood;nottowickedreaderslikeme。
  Arrivingatthisconclusion,Itriedanotherexperiment。Inasmallbookseller’sshopIdiscoveredsomecheaptranslationsofFrenchnovels。Here,IfoundwhatIwanted——sympathywithsin。
  Here,therewasopenedtomeanewworldinhabitedentirelybyunrepentantpeople;themagnificentwomendiabolicallybeautiful;
  thesatanicmendeadtoeverysenseofvirtue,andalive——perhapsratherdirtilyalive——tothesplendidfascinationsofcrime。I
  knownowthatLoveisaboveeverythingbutitself。Loveistheonelawthatweareboundtoobey。Howdeep!howconsoling!howadmirablytrue!ThenovelistsofEnglandhavereasonindeedtohidetheirheadsbeforethenovelistsofFrance。AllthatIhavefelt,andhavewrittenhere,isinspiredbythesewonderfulauthors。
  Ihaverelievedmymind,andmaynowreturntothebusinessofmydiary——therecordofdomesticevents。
  AnoverwhelmingdisappointmenthasfallenonEunice。Ourdinner—partyhasbeenputoff。
  Thestateoffather’shealthisanswerableforthischangeinourarrangementsThatwretchedsceneattheschool,complicatedbymysister’sundutifulbehavioratthetime,soseriouslyexcitedhimthathepassedasleeplessnight,andkepthisbedroomthroughouttheday。Eunice’stotalwantofdiscretionadded,nodoubt,tohissufferings:sherudelyintrudedonhimtoexpressherregretandtoaskhispardon。Havingcarriedherpoint,shewasatleisuretocometome,andtoask(howamazinglysimpleofher!)
  whatsheandPhilipweretodonext。
  "Wehadarrangeditallsonicely,"thepoorwretchbegan。
  "Philipwastohavebeensocleverandagreeableatdinner,andwastohavechosenhistimesoverydiscreetly,thatpapawouldhavebeenreadytolistentoanythinghesaid。
  Oh,weshouldhavesucceeded;Ihaven’tadoubtofit!Ouronlyhope,Helena,isinyou。Whatarewetodonow?"
  "Wait,"Ianswered。
  "Wait?"sherepeated,hotly。"Ismyhearttobebroken?and,whatismorecruelstill,isPhiliptobedisappointed?Iexpectedsomethingmoresensible,mydear,fromyou。Whatpossiblereasoncantherebeforwaiting?"
  Thereason——ifIcouldonlyhavementionedit——wasbeyonddispute。IwantedtimetoquietPhilip’suneasyconscience,andtohardenhisweakmindagainstoutburstsofviolence,onEunice’spart,whichwouldcertainlyexhibitthemselveswhenshefoundthatshehadlostherlover,andlosthimtome。Inthemeanwhile,Ihadtoproducemyreasonforadvisinghertowait。
  Itwaseasilydone。Iremindedheroftheirritableconditionofourfather’snerves,andgaveitasmyopinionthathewouldcertainlysayNo,ifshewasunwiseenoughtoexcitehimonthesubjectofPhilip,inhispresentframeofmind。
  Theseunanswerableconsiderationsseemedtoproducetherighteffectonher。"Isupposeyouknowbest,"wasallshesaid。Andthensheleftme。
  Ilethergowithoutfeelinganydistrustofthisactofsubmissiononherpart;itwassuchacommonexperience,inmylife,tofindmysisterguidingherselfbymyadvice。Butexperienceisnotalwaystobetrusted。EventssoonshowedthatI
  hadfailedtoestimateEunice’sresourcesofobstinacyandcunningattheirtruevalue。
  HalfanhourlaterIheardthestreetdoorclosed,andlookedoutofthewindow。MissJillgallwasleavingthehouse;noonewaswithher。Mydislikeofthispersonledmeastrayoncemore。I
  oughttohavesuspectedherofbeingbentonsomemischievouserrand,andtohavedevisedsomemeansofputtingmysuspicionstothetest。Ididnothingofthekind。InthemomentwhenI
  turnedmyheadawayfromthewindow,MissJillgallwasapersonforgotten——andIwasapersonwhohadmadeaseriousmistake。
  CHAPTERXXVI。
  HELENA’SDIARY。
  THEeventofto—daybeganwiththedeliveryofamessagesummoningmetomyfather’sstudy。Hehaddecided——toohastily,asIfeared——thathewassufficientlyrecoveredtoresumehisusualemployments。Iwaswritingtohisdictation,whenwewereinterrupted。MariaannouncedavisitfromMr。Dunboyne。
  HithertoPhiliphadbeencontenttosendoneoftheservantsofthehoteltomakeinquiryafterMr。Gracedieu’shealth。Whyhadhenowcalledpersonally?Noticingthatfatherseemedtobeannoyed,ItriedtomakeanopportunityofreceivingPhilipmyself。"Letmeseehim,"Isuggested;"Icaneasilysayyouareengaged。"
  Veryunwillingly,asitwaseasytosee,myfatherdeclinedtoallowthis。"Mr。Dunboyne’svisitpaysmeacompliment,"hesaid;
  "andImustreceivehim。"Imadeashowofleavingtheroom,andwascalledbacktomychair。"Thisisnotaprivateinterview,Helena;staywhereyouare。"
  Philipcamein——handsomerthanever,beautifullydressed——andpaidhisrespectstomyfatherwithhiscustomarygrace。Hewastoowell—bredtoallowanyvisiblesignsofembarrassmenttoescapehim。Butwhenheshookhandswithme,Ifeltalittletremblinginhisfingers,throughthedelicategloveswhichfittedhimlikeasecondskin。WasitthetrueobjectofhisvisittotrytheexperimentdesignedbyEuniceandhimself,anddeferredbythepostponementofourdinner—party?Impossiblesurelythatmysistercouldhavepracticedonhisweakness,andpersuadedhimtoreturntohisfirstlove!Iwaited,inbreathlessinterest,forhisnextwords。Theywerenotworthlisteningto。Oh,thepoorcommonplacecreature!
  "Iamglad,Mr。Gracedieu,toseethatyouarewellenoughtobeinyourstudyagain,"hesaid。Thewritingmaterialsonthetableattractedhisattention。"AmIoneoftheidlepeople,"heasked,withhischarmingsmile,"whoarealwaysinterruptingusefulemployment?"
  Hespoketomyfather,andhewasansweredbymyfather。Notoncehadheaddressedawordtome——no,notevenwhenweshookhands。
  Iwasangryenoughtoforcehimintotakingsomenoticeofme,andtomakeanattempttoconfusehimatthesametime。
  "Haveyouseenmysister?"Iasked。
  "No。"
  Itwastheshortestreplythathecouldchoose。Havingflungitatme,hestillpersistedinlookingatmyfatherandspeakingtomyfather:"Doyouthinkoftryingchangeofair,Mr。Gracedieu,whenyoufeelstrongenoughtotravel?"
  "Mydutieskeepmehere,"fatheranswered;"andIcannothonestlysaythatIenjoytraveling。Idislikemannersandcustomsthatarestrangetome;Idon’tfindthathotelsrewardmeforgivingupthecomfortsofmyownhouse。Howdoyoufindthehotelhere?"
  "Isubmittothehotel,sir。Theyaresadsavagesinthekitchen;
  theyputmushroomketchupintotheirsoup,andmustardandcayennepepperintotheirsalads。Iamhalf—starvedatdinner—time,butIdon’tcomplain。"
  Everywordhesaidwasanoffensetome。Withorwithoutreason,Iattackedhimagain。
  "Ihaveheardyouacknowledgethatthelandlordandlandladyareveryobligingpeople,"Isaid。"Whydon’tyouaskthemtoletyoumakeyourownsoupandmixyourownsalad?"
  IwonderedwhetherIshouldsucceedinattractinghisnotice,afterthis。Evenintheseprivatepages,myself—esteemfindsithardtoconfesswhathappened。IsucceededinremindingPhilipthathehadhisreasonsforrequestingmetoleavetheroom。
  "Willyouexcuseme,MissHelena,"hesaid,"ifIaskleavetospeaktoMr。Gracedieuinprivate?"
  Therightthingformetodowas,letmehope,thethingthatI
  did。Irose,andwaitedtoseeifmyfatherwouldinterfere。HelookedatPhilipwithsuspicioninhisface,aswellassurprise。
  "MayIask,"hesaid,coldly,"whatistheobjectoftheinterview?"
  "Certainly,"Philipanswered,"whenwearealone。"Thiscoolreplyplacedmyfatherbetweentwoalternatives;hemusteithergiveway,orbeguiltyofanactofrudenesstoaguestinhisownhouse。Thechoicereservedformewasnarrowerstill——Ihadtodecidebetweenbeingtoldtogo,orgoingofmyownaccord。Ofcourse,Ileftthemtogether。
  Thedoorwhichcommunicatedwiththenextroomwaspulledto,butnotclosed。Ontheothersideofit,IfoundEunice。
  "Listening!"Isaid,inawhisper。
  "Yes,"shewhisperedback。"Youlisten,too!"
  IwassoindignantwithPhilip,andsoseriouslyinterestedinwhatwasgoingoninthestudy,thatIyieldedtotemptation。Webothdegradedourselves。Webothlistened。
  Eunice’sbaseloverspokefirst。Judgingbythechangeinhisvoice,hemusthaveseensomethinginmyfather’sfacethatdauntedhim。Euniceheardit,too。"He’sgettingnervous,"shewhispered;"he’llforgettosaytherightthingattherighttime。"
  "Mr。Gracedieu,"Philipbegan,"Iwishtospeaktoyou——"
  Fatherinterruptedhim:"Wearealonenow,Mr。Dunboyne。Iwanttoknowwhyyouconsultmeinprivate?"
  "Iamanxioustoconsultyou,sir,onasubject——"
  "Onwhatsubject?Anyreligiousdifficulty?"
  "No。"
  "AnythingIcandoforyouinthetown?"
  "Notatall。Ifyouwillonlyallowme——"
  "Iamstillwaiting,sir,toknowwhatitisabout。"
  Philip’svoicesuddenlybecameanangryvoice。"Onceforall,Mr。
  Gracedieu,"hesaid,"willyouletmespeak?It’saboutyourdaughter——"
  "Nomoreofit,Mr。Dunboyne!"(MyfatherwasnowasloudasPhilip。)"Idon’tdesiretoholdaprivateconversationwithyouonthesubjectofmydaughter。"
  "Ifyouhaveanypersonalobjectiontome,sir,besogoodastostateitplainly。"
  "Youhavenorighttoaskmetodothat。"
  "Yourefusetodoit?"
  "Positively。"
  "Youarenotverycivil,Mr。Gracedieu。"
  "IfIspeakwithoutceremony,Mr。Dunboyne,youhaveyourselftothankforit。"
  Philiprepliedtothisinatoneofsavageirony。"Youareaministerofreligion,andyouareanoldman。Twoprivileges——andyoupresumeonthemboth。Good—morning。"
  Idrewbackintoacorner,justintimetoescapediscoveryinthecharacterofalistener。Eunicenevermoved。WhenPhilipdashedintotheroom,bangingthedoorafterhim,shethrewherselfimpulsivelyonhisbreast:"Oh,Philip!Philip!whathaveyoudone?Whydidn’tyoukeepyourtemper?"
  "Didyouhearwhatyourfathersaidtome?"heasked。
  "Yes,dear;butyououghttohavecontrolledyourself——youought,indeed,formysake。"
  Herarmswerestillroundhim。Itstruckmethathefeltherinfluence。"Ifyouwishmetorecovermyself,"hesaid,gently,"youhadbetterletmego。"
  "Oh,howcruel,Philip,toleavemewhenIamsowretched!Whydoyouwanttogo?"
  "YoutoldmejustnowwhatIoughttodo,"heanswered,stillrestraininghimself。"IfIamtogetthebetterofmytemper,I
  mustbeleftalone。"
  "Ineversaidanythingaboutyourtemper,darling。"
  "Didn’tyoutellmetocontrolmyself?"
  "Oh,yes!Gobacktopapa。andbeghimtoforgiveyou。"
  "I’llseehimdamnedfirst!"
  Ifeverastupidgirldeservedsuchananswerasthis,thegirlwasmysister。Ihadhitherto(withsomedifficulty)refrainedfrominterfering。ButwhenEunicetriedtofollowPhilipoutofthehouse,Icouldhesitatenolonger;Iheldherback。"Youfool,"Isaid;"haven’tyoumademischiefenoughalready?"
  "WhatamItodo?"sheburstout,helplessly。
  "DowhatItoldyoutodoyesterday——wait。"
  Beforeshecouldreply,orIcouldsayanythingmore,thedoorthatledtothelandingwasopenedsoftlyandslyly,andMissJillgallpeepedin。Euniceinstantlyleftme,andrantothemeddlingoldmaid。Theywhisperedtoeachother。MissJillgall’sskinnyarmencircledmysister’swaist;theydisappearedtogether。
  Iwasonlytoogladtogetridofthemboth,andtotaketheopportunityofwritingtoPhilip。IinsistedonanexplanationofhisconductwhileIwasinthestudy——tobegivenwithinanhour’stime,ataplacewhichIappointed。"Youarenottoattempttojustifyyourselfinwriting,"Iaddedinconclusion。
  "Letyourreplymerelyinformmeifyoucankeeptheappointment。
  Therest,whenwemeet。"
  Mariatookthelettertothehotel,withinstructionstowait。
  Philip’sreplyreachedmewithoutdelay。ItpledgedhimtojustifyhimselfasIhaddesired,andtokeeptheappointment。Myownbeliefisthattheeventofto—daywilldecidehisfutureandmine。
  CHAPTERXXVII。
  EUNICE’SDIARY。
  INDEED,Iamamostunfortunatecreature;everythingturnsoutbadlywithme。Mygood,truefriend,mydearSelina,hasbecometheobjectofahatefuldoubtinmysecretmind。Iamafraidsheiskeepingsomethingfromme。
  Talkingwithheraboutmytroubles,IheardforthefirsttimethatshehadwrittenagaintoMrs。Tenbruggen。TheobjectofherletterwastotellherfriendofmyengagementtoyoungMr。
  Dunboyne。Iaskedherwhyshehaddonethis。Theanswerinformedmethattherewasnoknowing,inthepresentstateofmyaffairs,howsoonImightnotwantthehelpofacleverwoman。Iought,I
  suppose,tohavebeensatisfiedwiththis。Butthereseemedtobesomethingnotfullyexplainedyet。
  Thenagain,aftertellingSelinawhatIheardinthestudy,andhowroughlyPhiliphadspokentomeafterward,Iaskedherwhatshethoughtofit。Shemadeanincomprehensiblereply:"Mysweetchild,Imustn’tthinkofit——Iamtoofondofyou。"
  Itwasimpossibletomakeherexplainwhatthismeant。ShebegantotalkofPhilip;assuringme(whichwasquiteneedless)thatshehaddoneherbesttofortifyandencouragehim,beforehecalledonpapa。WhenIaskedhertohelpmeinanotherway——thatistosay,whenIwantedtofindoutwherePhilipwasatthatmoment——shehadnoadvicetogiveme。ItoldherthatIshouldnotenjoyamoment’seaseofminduntilIandmydearonewerereconciled。Sheonlyshookherheadanddeclaredthatshewassorryforme。WhenIhitontheideaofringingforMaria,thislittlewoman,sobright,andquickandeagertohelpmeatothertimes,said"Ileaveittoyou,dear,"andturnedtothepiano(closetowhichIwassitting),andplayedsoftlyandbadlystupidlittletunes。
  "Maria,didyouopenthedoorforMr。Dunboynewhenhewentawayjustnow?"
  "No,miss。"
  Nothingbutill—luckforme!IfIhadbeenlefttomyowndevices,Ishouldnowhaveletthehousemaidgo。ButSelinacontrivedtogivemeahint,onastrangeplanofherown。Stillatthepiano,shebegantoconfusetalkingtoherselfwithplayingtoherself。Thenoteswent_tinkle,tinkle_——andthetonguemixedupwordswiththenotesinthisway:"PerhapstheyhavebeentalkinginthekitchenaboutPhilip?"
  Thesuggestionwasnotlostonme。IsaidtoMaria——whowasstandingattheotherendoftheroom,nearthedoor——"DidyouhappentohearwhichwayMr。Dunboynewentwhenheleftus?"
  "Iknowwherehewas,miss,halfanhourago。"
  "Wherewashe?"
  "Atthehotel。"
  Selinawentonwithherhintsinthesamewayasbefore。"Howdoessheknow——ah,howdoessheknow?"wasthevocalpartoftheperformancethistime。Mycleverinquiriesfollowedthevocalpartasbefore:
  "HowdoyouknowthatMr。Dunboynewasatthehotel?"
  "Iwassenttherewithaletterforhim,andwaitedfortheanswer。"
  Therewasnosuggestionrequiredthistime。Theonepossiblequestionwas:"Whosentyou?"
  Mariareplied,afterfirstreservingacondition:"Youwon’ttelluponme,miss?"
  Ipromisednottotell。Selinasuddenlyleftoffplaying。
  "Well,"Irepeated,"whosentyou?"
  "MissHelena。"
  Selinalookedroundatme。Herlittleeyesseemedtohavesuddenlybecomebig,theystaredmesostrangelyintheface。I
  don’tknowwhethershewasinastateoffrightorofwonder。Asformyself,Isimplylosttheuseofmytongue。Maria,havingnomorequestionstoanswer,discreetlyleftustogether。
  WhyshouldHelenawritetoPhilipatall——andespeciallywithoutmentioningittome?HerewasariddlewhichwasmorethanI
  couldguess。IaskedSelinatohelpme。Shemightatleasthavetried,Ithought;butshelookeduneasy,andmadeexcuses。
  Isaid:"SupposeIgotoHelena,andaskherwhyshewrotetoPhilip?"AndSelinasaid:"Supposeyoudo,dear。"
  IrangforMariaoncemore:"Doyouknowwheremysisteris?"
  "Justgoneout,miss。"
  Therewasnohelpforitbuttowaittillshecameback,andtogetthroughthetimeintheintervalasIbestmight。Butforonecircumstance,Imightnothaveknownwhattodo。Thetruthis,therewasafeelingofshameinmewhenIrememberedhavinglistenedatthestudydoor。Curiousnotionscomeintoone’shead——onedoesn’tknowhoworwhy。ItstruckmethatImightmakeakindofatonementforhavingbeenmeanenoughtolisten,ifI
  wenttopapa,andofferedtokeephimcompanyinhissolitude。Ifwefellintopleasanttalk,Ihadaslyideaofmyown——ImeanttoputinagoodwordforpoorPhilip。
  WhenIconfidedmydesigntoSelina,sheshutupthepianoandranacrosstheroomtome。Butsomehowshewasnotlikeheroldselfagain,yet。
  "Yougoodlittlesoul,youarealwaysright。Lookatmeagain,Euneece。Areyoubeginningtodoubtme?Oh,mydarling,don’tdothat!Itisn’tusingmefairly。Ican’tbearit——Ican’tbearit!"
  Itookherhand;Iwasonthepointofspeakingtoherwiththekindnessshedeservedfromme。Onasuddenshesnatchedherhandawayandranbacktothepiano。Whenshewasseatedonthemusic—stool,herfacewashiddenfromme。Atthatmomentshebrokeintoastrangecry——itbeganlikealaugh,anditendedlikeasob。
  "Goawaytopapa!Don’tmindme——I’macreatureofimpulse——ha!
  ha!ha!alittlehysterical——thestateoftheweather——Igetridoftheseweaknesses,mydear,bysingingtomyself。Ihaveafavoritesong:’Myheartislight,mywillisfree。’——Goaway!
  oh,forGod’ssake,goaway!"
  Ihadheardofhysterics,ofcourse;knowingnothingaboutthem,however,bymyownexperience。Whatcouldhavehappenedtoagitateherinthisextraordinarymanner?
  HadHelena’sletteranythingtodowithit?WasmysisterindignantwithPhilipforswearinginmypresence;andhadshewrittenhimanangryletter,inherzealonmybehalf?ButSelinacouldnotpossiblyhaveseentheletter——andHelena(whoisoftenhardonmewhenIdostupidthings)showedlittleindulgenceforme,whenIwassounfortunateastoirritatePhilip。Igaveupthehopelessattempttogetatthetruthbyguessing,andwentawaytoforgetmytroubles,ifIcould,inmyfather’ssociety。
  Afterknockingtwiceatthedoorofthestudy,andreceivingnoreply,Iventuredtolookin。
  Thesofainthisroomstoodoppositethedoor。Papawasrestingonit,butnotincomfort。Thereweretwitchingmovementsinhisfeet,andheshiftedhisarmsthiswayandthatasifnorestfulposturecouldhefoundforthem。Butwhatfrightenedmewasthis。
  Hiseyes,staringstraightatthedoorbywhichIhadgonein,hadaninquiringexpression,asifheactuallydidnotknowme!I
  stoodmidwaybetweenthedoorandthesofa,doubtfulaboutgoingnearertohim。
  Hesaid:"Whoisit?"Thistome——tohisowndaughter。Hesaid:
  "Whatdoyouwant?"
  Ireallycould_not_bearit。Iwentuptohim。Isaid:"Papa,haveyouforgottenEunice?"
  Mynameseemed(ifonemaysaysuchathing)tobringhimtohimselfagain。Hesatuponthesofa——andlaughedasheansweredme。
  "Mydearchild,whatdelusionhasgotintothatprettylittleheadofyours?FancyherthinkingthatIhadforgottenmyowndaughter!Iwaslostinthought,Eunice。Forthemoment,Iwaswhattheycallanabsentman。DidIevertellyouthestoryoftheabsentman?Hewenttocalluponsomeacquaintanceofhis;
  andwhentheservantsaid,’Whatname,sir?’Hecouldn’tanswer。
  Hewasobligedtoconfessthathehadforgottenhisownname。Theservantsaid,’That’sverystrange。’Theabsentmanatoncerecoveredhimself。’That’sit!’hesaid:’mynameisStrange。’
  Droll,isn’tit?IfIhadbeencallingonafriendto—day,I
  daresay_I_mighthaveforgottenmyname,too。Muchtothinkof,Eunice——toomuchtothinkof。"