However，Iamdigressing，asamanwithagrievancealwaysdoes。
　　Andafterall，themainthingindeterminingtheartisticqualityofabookisnottheopinionsitpropagates，butthefactthatthewriterhasopinions。TheoldladyfromColchesterwasrighttosunhersimplesoulintheenergeticradianceofBradlaugh’sgenuinebeliefsanddisbeliefsratherthaninthechillofsuchmerepaintingoflightandheataselocutionandconventioncanachieve。Mycontemptforbelleslettres，andforamateurswhobecometheheroesofthefanciersofliteraryvirtuosity，isnotfoundedonanyillusionofmindastothepermanenceofthoseformsofthought（callthemopinions）bywhichIstrivetocommunicatemybenttomyfellows。Toyoungermentheyarealreadyoutmoded；forthoughtheyhavenomorelosttheirlogicthananeighteenthcenturypastelhaslostitsdrawingoritscolor，yet，likethepastel，theygrowindefinablyshabby，andwillgrowshabbieruntiltheyceasetocountatall，whenmybookswilleitherperish，or，iftheworldisstillpoorenoughtowantthem，willhavetostand，withBunyan’s，byquiteamorphousqualitiesoftemperandenergy。WiththisconvictionI
　　cannotbeabellettrist。NodoubtImustrecognize，aseventheAncientMarinerdid，thatImusttellmystoryentertaininglyifIamtoholdtheweddingguestspellboundinspiteofthesirensoundsoftheloudbassoon。But"forart’ssake"aloneIwouldnotfacethetoilofwritingasinglesentence。Iknowthattherearemenwho，havingnothingtosayandnothingtowrite，areneverthelesssoinlovewithoratoryandwithliteraturethattheykeepdesperatelyrepeatingasmuchastheycanunderstandofwhatothershavesaidorwrittenaforetime。Iknowthattheleisurelytrickswhichtheirwantofconvictionleavesthemfreetoplaywiththedilutedandmisapprehendedmessagesupplythemwithapleasantparlorgamewhichtheycallstyle。Icanpitytheirdotageandevensympathizewiththeirfancy。Butatrueoriginalstyleisneverachievedforitsownsake：amanmaypayfromashillingtoaguinea，accordingtohismeans，tosee，hear，orreadanotherman’sactofgenius；buthewillnotpaywithhiswholelifeandsoultobecomeamerevirtuosoinliterature，exhibitinganaccomplishmentwhichwillnotevenmakemoneyforhim，likefiddleplaying。EffectivenessofassertionistheAlphaandOmegaofstyle。Hewhohasnothingtoasserthasnostyleandcanhavenone：hewhohassomethingtoassertwillgoasfarinpowerofstyleasitsmomentousnessandhisconvictionwillcarryhim。Disprovehisassertionafteritismade，yetitsstyleremains。DarwinhasnomoredestroyedthestyleofJobnorofHandelthanMartinLutherdestroyedthestyleofGiotto。Alltheassertionsgetdisprovedsoonerorlater；andsowefindtheworldfullofamagnificentdebrisofartisticfossils，withthematter—of—factcredibilitygonecleanoutofthem，buttheformstillsplendid。Andthatiswhytheoldmastersplaythedeucewithourmeresusceptibles。YourRoyalAcademicianthinkshecangetthestyleofGiottowithoutGiotto’sbeliefs，andcorrecthisperspectiveintothebargain。YourmanoflettersthinkshecangetBunyan’sorShakespear’sstylewithoutBunyan’sconvictionorShakespear’sapprehension，especiallyifhetakescarenottosplithisinfinitives。AndsowithyourDoctorsofMusic，who，withtheircollectionsofdiscordsdulypreparedandresolvedorretardedoranticipatedinthemannerofthegreatcomposers，thinktheycanlearntheartofPalestrinafromCherubim’streatise。Allthisacademicartisfarworsethanthetradeinshamantiquefurniture；forthemanwhosellsmeanoakenchestwhichheswearswasmadeintheXIIIcentury，thoughasamatteroffacthemadeithimselfonlyyesterday，atleastdoesnotpretendthatthereareanymodernideasinit，whereasyouracademiccopieroffossilsoffersthemtoyouasthelatestoutpouringofthehumanspirit，and，worstofall，kidnapsyoungpeopleaspupilsandpersuadesthemthathislimitationsarerules，hisobservancesdexterities，histimiditiesgoodtaste，andhisemptinessespurities。Andwhenhedeclaresthatartshouldnotbedidactic，allthepeoplewhohavenothingtoteachandallthepeoplewhodon’twanttolearnagreewithhimemphatically。
　　Ipridemyselfonnotbeingoneofthesesusceptible：IfyoustudytheelectriclightwithwhichIsupplyyouinthatBumbledonianpubliccapacityofmineoverwhichyoumakemerryfromtimetotime，youwillfindthatyourhousecontainsagreatquantityofhighlysusceptiblecopperwirewhichgorgesitselfwithelectricityandgivesyounolightwhatever。Buthereandthereoccursascrapofintenselyinsusceptible，intenselyresistantmaterial；andthatstubbornscrapgrappleswiththecurrentandwillnotletitthroughuntilithasmadeitselfusefultoyouasthosetwovitalqualitiesofliterature，lightandheat。NowifIamtobenomerecopperwireamateurbutaluminousauthor，Imustalsobeamostintenselyrefractoryperson，liabletogooutandtogowrongatinconvenientmoments，andwithincendiarypossibilities。Thesearethefaultsofmyqualities；andIassureyouthatIsometimesdislikemyselfsomuchthatwhensomeirritablereviewerchancesatthatmomenttopitchintomewithzest，Ifeelunspeakablyrelievedandobliged。ButIneverdreamofreforming，knowingthatImusttakemyselfasIamandgetwhatworkIcanoutofmyself。Allthisyouwillunderstand；forthereiscommunityofmaterialbetweenus：wearebothcriticsoflifeaswellasofart；andyouhaveperhapssaidtoyourselfwhenIhavepassedyourwindows，"There，butforthegraceofGod，goI。"Anawfulandchasteningreflection，whichshallbetheclosingcadenceofthisimmoderatelylongletterfromyoursfaithfully，G。BERNARDSHAW。
　　WOKING，1903
　　ACTI
　　RoebuckRamsdenisinhisstudy，openingthemorningletters。Thestudy，handsomelyandsolidlyfurnished，proclaimsthemanofmeans。Notaspeckofdustisvisible：itisclearthatthereareatleasttwohousemaidsandaparlormaiddownstairs，andahousekeeperupstairswhodoesnotletthemspareelbow—grease。
　　EventhetopofRoebuck’sheadispolished：onasunshinydayhecouldheliographhisorderstodistantcampsbymerelynodding。
　　Innootherrespect，however，doeshesuggestthemilitaryman。
　　Itisinactivecivillifethatmengethisbroadairofimportance，hisdignifiedexpectationofdeference，hisdeterminatemouthdisarmedandrefinedsincethehourofhissuccessbythewithdrawalofoppositionandtheconcessionofcomfortandprecedenceandpower。Heismorethanahighlyrespectableman：heismarkedoutasapresidentofhighlyrespectablemen，achairmanamongdirectors，analdermanamongcouncillors，amayoramongaldermen。Fourtuftsofiron—greyhair，whichwillsoonbeaswhiteasisinglass，andareinotherrespectsnotatallunlikeit，growintwosymmetricalpairsabovehisearsandattheanglesofhisspreadingjaws。Hewearsablackfrockcoat，awhitewaistcoat（itisbrightspringweather），andtrousers，neitherblacknorperceptiblyblue，ofoneofthoseindefinitelymixedhueswhichthemodernclothierhasproducedtoharmonizewiththereligionsofrespectablemen。
　　Hehasnotbeenoutofdoorsyetto—day；sohestillwearshisslippers，hisbootsbeingreadyforhimonthehearthrug。
　　Surmisingthathehasnovalet，andseeingthathehasnosecretarywithashorthandnotebookandatypewriter，onemeditatesonhowlittleourgreatburgessdomesticityhasbeendisturbedbynewfashionsandmethods，orbytheenterpriseoftherailwayandhotelcompanieswhichsellyouaSaturdaytoMondayoflifeatFolkestoneasarealgentlemanfortwoguineas，firstclassfaresbothwaysincluded。
　　HowoldisRoebuck？Thequestionisimportantonthethresholdofadramaofideas；forundersuchcircumstanceseverythingdependsonwhetherhisadolescencebelongedtothesixtiesortotheeighties。Hewasborn，asamatteroffact，in1839，andwasaUnitarianandFreeTraderfromhisboyhood，andanEvolutionistfromthepublicationoftheOriginofSpecies。Consequentlyhehasalwaysclassedhimselfasanadvancedthinkerandfearlesslyoutspokenreformer。
　　Sittingathiswritingtable，hehasonhisrightthewindowsgivingonPortlandPlace。Throughthese，asthroughaproscenium，thecuriousspectatormaycontemplatehisprofileaswellastheblindswillpermit。Onhisleftistheinnerwall，withastatelybookcase，andthedoornotquiteinthemiddle，butsomewhatfurtherfromhim。Againstthewalloppositehimaretwobustsonpillars：one，tohisleft，ofJohnBright；theother，tohisright，ofMrHerbertSpencer。BetweenthemhanganengravedportraitofRichardCobden；enlargedphotographsofMartineau，Huxley，andGeorgeEliot；autotypesofallegoriesbyMrG。F。
　　Watts（forRoebuckbelievedinthefineartswithalltheearnestnessofamanwhodoesnotunderstandthem），andanimpressionofDupont’sengravingofDelaroche’sBeauxArteshemicycle，representingthegreatmenofallages。Onthewallbehindhim，abovethemantelshelf，isafamilyportraitofimpenetrableobscurity。
　　Achairstandsnearthewritingtablefortheconvenienceofbusinessvisitors。Twootherchairsareagainstthewallbetweenthebusts。
　　Aparlormaidenterswithavisitor’scard。Roebucktakesit，andnods，pleased。Evidentlyawelcomecaller。
　　RAMSDEN。Showhimup。
　　Theparlormaidgoesoutandreturnswiththevisitor。
　　THEMAID。MrRobinson。
　　MrRobinsonisreallyanuncommonlynicelookingyoungfellow。Hemust，onethinks，bethejeunepremier；foritisnotinreasontosupposethatasecondsuchattractivemalefigureshouldappearinonestory。Theslimshapelyframe，theelegantsuitofnewmourning，thesmallheadandregularfeatures，theprettylittlemoustache，thefrankcleareyes，thewholesomebloomandtheyouthfulcomplexion，thewellbrushedglossyhair，notcurly，butoffinetextureandgooddarkcolor，thearchofgoodnatureintheeyebrows，theerectforeheadandneatlypointedchin，allannouncethemanwhowillloveandsufferlateron。
　　Andthathewillnotdosowithoutsympathyisguaranteedbyanengagingsincerityandeagermodestserviceablenesswhichstamphimasamanofamiablenature。Themomentheappears，Ramsden’sfaceexpandsintofatherlylikingandwelcome，anexpressionwhichdropsintooneofdecorousgriefastheyoungmanapproacheshimwithsorrowinhisfaceaswellasinhisblackclothes。Ramsdenseemstoknowthenatureofthebereavement。Asthevisitoradvancessilentlytothewritingtable，theoldmanrisesandshakeshishandacrossitwithoutaword：along，affectionateshakewhichtellsthestoryofarecentsorrowcommontoboth。
　　RAMSDEN。[concludingthehandshakeandcheeringup]Well，well，Octavius，it’sthecommonlot。Wemustallfaceitsomeday。Sitdown。
　　Octaviustakesthevisitor’schair。Ramsdenreplaceshimselfinhisown。
　　OCTAVIUS。Yes：wemustfaceit，MrRamsden。ButIowedhimagreatdeal。Hedideverythingformethatmyfathercouldhavedoneifhehadlived。
　　RAMSDEN。Hehadnosonofhisown，yousee。
　　OCTAVIUS。Buthehaddaughters；andyethewasasgoodtomysisterastome。Andhisdeathwassosudden！Ialwaysintendedtothankhim——tolethimknowthatIhadnottakenallhiscareofmeasamatterofcourse，asanyboytakeshisfather’scare。
　　ButIwaitedforanopportunityandnowheisdead——droppedwithoutamoment’swarning。HewillneverknowwhatIfelt。[Hetakesouthishandkerchiefandcriesunaffectedly]。
　　RAMSDEN。Howdoweknowthat，Octavius？Hemayknowit：wecannottell。Come！Don’tgrieve。[Octaviusmastershimselfandputsuphishandkerchief]。That’sright。Nowletmetellyousomethingtoconsoleyou。ThelasttimeIsawhim——itwasinthisveryroom——hesaidtome："Tavyisagenerousladandthesoulofhonor；andwhenIseehowlittleconsiderationothermengetfromtheirsons，Irealizehowmuchbetterthanasonhe’sbeentome。"There！Doesn’tthatdoyougood？
　　OCTAVIUS。MrRamsden：heusedtosaytomethathehadmetonlyonemanintheworldwhowasthesoulofhonor，andthatwasRoebuckRamsden。
　　RAMSDEN。Oh，thatwashispartiality：wewereveryoldfriends，youknow。Buttherewassomethingelseheusedtosayaboutyou。
　　IwonderwhetherIoughttotellyouornot！
　　OCTAVIUS。Youknowbest。
　　RAMSDEN。Itwassomethingabouthisdaughter。
　　OCTAVIUS。[eagerly]AboutAnn！Oh，dotellmethat，MrRamsden。
　　RAMSDEN。Well，hesaidhewasglad，afterall，youwerenothisson，becausehethoughtthatsomedayAnnieandyou——[Octaviusblushesvividly]。Well，perhapsIshouldn’thavetoldyou。Buthewasinearnest。
　　OCTAVIUS。Oh，ifonlyIthoughtIhadachance！Youknow，MrRamsden，Idon’tcareaboutmoneyoraboutwhatpeoplecallposition；andIcan’tbringmyselftotakeaninterestinthebusinessofstrugglingforthem。Well，Annhasamostexquisitenature；butsheissoaccustomedtobeinthethickofthatsortofthingthatshethinksaman’scharacterincompleteifheisnotambitious。Sheknowsthatifshemarriedmeshewouldhavetoreasonherselfoutofbeingashamedofmefornotbeingabigsuccessofsomekind。
　　RAMSDEN。[Gettingupandplantinghimselfwithhisbacktothefireplace]Nonsense，myboy，nonsense！You’retoomodest。Whatdoessheknowabouttherealvalueofmenatherage？[Moreseriously]Besides，she’sawonderfullydutifulgirl。Herfather’swishwouldbesacredtoher。Doyouknowthatsinceshegrewuptoyearsofdiscretion，Idon’tbelieveshehaseveroncegivenherownwishasareasonfordoinganythingornotdoingit。It’salways"Fatherwishesmeto，"or"Motherwouldn’tlikeit。"It’sreallyalmostafaultinher。Ihaveoftentoldhershemustlearntothinkforherself。
　　OCTAVIUS。[shakinghishead]Icouldn’taskhertomarrymebecauseherfatherwishedit，MrRamsden。
　　RAMSDEN。Well，perhapsnot。No：ofcoursenot。Iseethat。No：
　　youcertainlycouldn’t。Butwhenyouwinheronyourownmerits，itwillbeagreathappinesstohertofulfilherfather’sdesireaswellasherown。Eh？Come！you’llaskher，won’tyou？
　　OCTAVIUS。[withsadgaiety]AtalleventsIpromiseyouIshallneveraskanyoneelse。
　　RAMSDEN。Oh，youshan’tneedto。She’llacceptyou，myboy——
　　although[herebesuddenlybecomesveryseriousindeed]youhaveonegreatdrawback。
　　OCTAVIUS。[anxiously]Whatdrawbackisthat，MrRamsden？Ishouldrathersaywhichofmymanydrawbacks？
　　RAMSDEN。I’lltellyou，Octavius。[Hetakesfromthetableabookboundinredcloth]。Ihaveinmyhandacopyofthemostinfamous，themostscandalous，themostmischievous，themostblackguardlybookthateverescapedburningatthehandsofthecommonhangman。Ihavenotreadit：Iwouldnotsoilmymindwithsuchfilth；butIhavereadwhatthepaperssayofit。Thetitleisquiteenoughforme。[Hereadsit]。TheRevolutionist’sHandbookandPocketCompanionbyJohnTanner，M。I。R。C。，MemberoftheIdleRichClass。
　　OCTAVIUS。[smiling]ButJack——
　　RAMSDEN。[testily]Forgoodness’sake，don’tcallhimJackundermyroof[hethrowsthebookviolentlydownonthetable，Then，somewhatrelieved，hecomespastthetabletoOctavius，andaddresseshimatclosequarterswithimpressivegravity]。Now，Octavius，Iknowthatmydeadfriendwasrightwhenhesaidyouwereagenerouslad。Iknowthatthismanwasyourschoolfellow，andthatyoufeelboundtostandbyhimbecausetherewasaboyishfriendshipbetweenyou。ButIaskyoutoconsiderthealteredcircumstances。Youweretreatedasasoninmyfriend’shouse。Youlivedthere；andyourfriendscouldnotbeturnedfromthedoor。ThisTannerwasinandoutthereonyouraccountalmostfromhischildhood。HeaddressesAnniebyherChristiannameasfreelyasyoudo。Well，whileherfatherwasalive，thatwasherfather’sbusiness，notmine。ThismanTannerwasonlyaboytohim：hisopinionsweresomethingtobelaughedat，likeaman’shatonachild’shead。ButnowTannerisagrownmanandAnnieagrownwoman。Andherfatherisgone。Wedon’tasyetknowtheexacttermsofhiswill；butheoftentalkeditoverwithme；
　　andIhavenomoredoubtthanIhavethatyou’resittingtherethatthewillappointsmeAnnie’strusteeandguardian。
　　[Forcibly]NowItellyou，onceforall，Ican’tandIwon’thaveAnnieplacedinsuchapositionthatshemust，outofregardforyou，suffertheintimacyofthisfellowTanner。It’snotfair：
　　it’snotright：it’snotkind。Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit？
　　OCTAVIUS。ButAnnherselfhastoldJackthatwhateverhisopinionsare，hewillalwaysbewelcomebecauseheknewherdearfather。
　　RAMSDEN。[outofpatience]Thatgirl’smadaboutherdutytoherparents。[HestartsofflikeagoadedoxinthedirectionofJohnBright，inwhoseexpressionthereisnosympathyforhim。Ashespeaks，hefumesdowntoHerbertSpencer，whoreceiveshimstillmorecoldly]Excuseme，Octavius；buttherearelimitstosocialtoleration。YouknowthatIamnotabigotedorprejudicedman。
　　YouknowthatIamplainRoebuckRamsdenwhenothermenwhohavedonelesshavegothandlestotheirnames，becauseIhavestoodforequalityandlibertyofconsciencewhiletheyweretrucklingtotheChurchandtothearistocracy。WhitefieldandIlostchanceafterchancethroughouradvancedopinions。ButIdrawthelineatAnarchismandFreeLoveandthatsortofthing。IfIamtobeAnnie’sguardian，shewillhavetolearnthatshehasadutytome。Iwon’thaveit：Iwillnothaveit。ShemustforbidJohnTannerthehouse；andsomustyou。
　　Theparlormaidreturns。
　　OCTAVIUS。But——
　　RAMSDEN。[callinghisattentiontotheservant]Ssh！Well？
　　THEMAID。MrTannerwishestoseeyou，sir。
　　RAMSDEN。MrTanner！
　　OCTAVIUS。Jack！
　　RAMSDEN。HowdareMrTannercallonme！SayIcannotseehim。
　　OCTAVIUS。[hurt]Iamsorryyouareturningmyfriendfromyourdoorlikethat。
　　THEMAID。[calmly]He’snotatthedoor，sir。He’supstairsinthedrawingroomwithMissRamsden。HecamewithMrsWhitefieldandMissAnnandMissRobinson，sir。
　　Ramsden’sfeelingsarebeyondwords。
　　OCTAVIUS。[grinning]That’sverylikeJack，MrRamsden。Youmustseehim，evenifit’sonlytoturnhimout。
　　RAMSDEN。[hammeringouthiswordswithsuppressedfury]GoupstairsandaskMrTannertobegoodenoughtostepdownhere。
　　[Theparlormaidgoesout；andRamsdenreturnstothefireplace，astoafortifiedposition]。Imustsaythatofalltheconfoundedpiecesofimpertinence——well，iftheseareAnarchistmannersIhopeyoulikethem。AndAnniewithhim！Annie！A——[hechokes]。
　　OCTAVIUS。Yes：that’swhatsurprisesme。He’ssodesperatelyafraidofAnn。Theremustbesomethingthematter。
　　MrJohnTannersuddenlyopensthedoorandenters。Heistooyoungtobedescribedsimplyasabigmanwithabeard。Butitisalreadyplainthatmiddlelifewillfindhiminthatcategory。Hehasstillsomeoftheslimnessofyouth；butyouthfulnessisnottheeffectheaimsat：hisfrockcoatwouldbefitaprimeminister；andacertainhighchestedcarriageoftheshoulders，aloftyposeofthehead，andtheOlympianmajestywithwhichamane，orratherahugewisp，ofhazelcoloredhairisthrownbackfromanimposingbrow，suggestJupiterratherthanApollo。Heisprodigiouslyfluentofspeech，restless，excitable（markthesnortingnostrilandtherestlessblueeye，justthethirty—secondthofaninchtoowideopen），possiblyalittlemad。
　　Heiscarefullydressed，notfromthevanitythatcannotresistfinery，butfromasenseoftheimportanceofeverythinghedoeswhichleadshimtomakeasmuchofpayingacallasothermendoofgettingmarriedorlayingafoundationstone。Asensitive，susceptible，exaggerative，earnestman：amegalomaniac，whowouldbelostwithoutasenseofhumor。
　　Justatpresentthesenseofhumorisinabeyance。Tosaythatheisexcitedisnothing：allhismoodsarephasesofexcitement。Heisnowinthepanic—strickenphase；andhewalksstraightuptoRamsdenasifwiththefixedintentionofshootinghimonhisownhearthrug。Butwhathepullsfromhisbreastpocketisnotapistol，butafoolscapdocumentwhichhethrustsundertheindignantnoseofRamsdenasheexclaims——
　　TANNER。Ramsden：doyouknowwhatthatis？
　　RAMSDEN。[loftily]No，Sir。
　　TANNER。It’sacopyofWhitefield’swill。Anngotitthismorning。
　　RAMSDEN。WhenyousayAnn，youmean，Ipresume，MissWhitefield。
　　TANNER。ImeanourAnn，yourAnn，Tavy’sAnn，andnow，Heavenhelpme，myAnn！
　　OCTAVIUS。[rising，verypale]Whatdoyoumean？
　　TANNER。Mean！[Heholdsupthewill]。DoyouknowwhoisappointedAnn’sguardianbythiswill？
　　RAMSDEN。[coolly]IbelieveIam。
　　TANNER。You！YouandI，man。I！I！！I！！！Bothofus！[Heflingsthewilldownonthewritingtable]。
　　RAMSDEN。You！Impossible。
　　TANNER。It’sonlytoohideouslytrue。[HethrowshimselfintoOctavius’schair]。Ramsden：getmeoutofitsomehow。Youdon’tknowAnnaswellasIdo。She’llcommiteverycrimearespectablewomancan；andshe’lljustifyeveryoneofthembysayingthatitwasthewishofherguardians。She’llputeverythingonus；andweshallhavenomorecontroloverherthanacoupleofmiceoveracat。
　　OCTAVIUS。Jack：Iwishyouwouldn’ttalklikethataboutAnn。
　　TANNER。Thischap’sinlovewithher：that’sanothercomplication。Well，she’lleitherjilthimandsayIdidn’tapproveofhim，ormarryhimandsayyouorderedherto。Itellyou，thisisthemoststaggeringblowthathaseverfallenonamanofmyageandtemperament。
　　RAMSDEN。Letmeseethatwill，sir。[Hegoestothewritingtableandpicksitup]。IcannotbelievethatmyoldfriendWhitefieldwouldhaveshownsuchawantofconfidenceinmeastoassociatemewith——[Hiscountenancefallsashereads]。
　　TANNER。It’sallmyowndoing：that’sthehorribleironyofit。
　　HetoldmeonedaythatyouweretobeAnn’sguardian；andlikeafoolIbeganarguingwithhimaboutthefollyofleavingayoungwomanunderthecontrolofanoldmanwithobsoleteideas。
　　RAMSDEN。[stupended]Myideasobsolete！！！！！
　　TANNER。Totally。IhadjustfinishedanessaycalledDownwithGovernmentbytheGreyhaired；andIwasfullofargumentsandillustrations。Isaidtheproperthingwastocombinetheexperienceofanoldhandwiththevitalityofayoungone。Hangmeifhedidn’ttakemeatmywordandalterhiswill——it’sdatedonlyafortnightafterthatconversation——appointingmeasjointguardianwithyou！
　　RAMSDEN。[paleanddetermined]Ishallrefusetoact。
　　TANNER。What’sthegoodofthat？I’vebeenrefusingallthewayfromRichmond；butAnnkeepsonsayingthatofcourseshe’sonlyanorphan；andthatshecan’texpectthepeoplewhoweregladtocometothehouseinherfather’stimetotroublemuchabouthernow。That’sthelatestgame。Anorphan！It’slikehearinganironcladtalkaboutbeingatthemercyofthewindsandwaves。
　　OCTAVIUS。Thisisnotfair，Jack。Sheisanorphan。Andyououghttostandbyher。
　　TANNER。Standbyher！Whatdangerisshein？Shehasthelawonherside；shehaspopularsentimentonherside；shehasplentyofmoneyandnoconscience。Allshewantswithmeistoloadupallhermoralresponsibilitiesonme，anddoasshelikesattheexpenseofmycharacter。Ican’tcontrolher；andshecancompromisemeasmuchasshelikes。Imightaswellbeherhusband。
　　RAMSDEN。Youcanrefusetoaccepttheguardianship。Ishallcertainlyrefusetoholditjointlywithyou。
　　TANNER。Yes；andwhatwillshesaytothat？whatdoesshesaytoit？Justthatherfather’swishesaresacredtoher，andthatsheshallalwayslookuptomeasherguardianwhetherIcaretofacetheresponsibilityornot。Refuse！Youmightaswellrefusetoaccepttheembracesofaboaconstrictorwhenonceitgetsroundyourneck。
　　OCTAVIUS。Thissortoftalkisnotkindtome，Jack。
　　TANNER。[risingandgoingtoOctaviustoconsolehim，butstilllamenting]Ifhewantedayoungguardian，whydidn’theappointTavy？
　　RAMSDEN。Ah！whyindeed？
　　OCTAVIUS。Iwilltellyou。Hesoundedmeaboutit；butIrefusedthetrustbecauseIlovedher。Ihadnorighttoletmyselfbeforcedonherasaguardianbyherfather。Hespoketoheraboutit；andshesaidIwasright。YouknowIloveher，MrRamsden；
　　andJackknowsittoo。IfJacklovedawoman，Iwouldnotcomparehertoaboaconstrictorinhispresence，howevermuchImightdislikeher[hesitsdownbetweenthebustsandturnshisfacetothewall]。
　　RAMSDEN。IdonotbelievethatWhitefieldwasinhisrightsenseswhenhemadethatwill。Youhaveadmittedthathemadeitunderyourinfluence。
　　TANNER。Yououghttobeprettywellobligedtomeformyinfluence。Heleavesyoutwothousandfivehundredforyourtrouble。HeleavesTavyadowryforhissisterandfivethousandforhimself。
　　OCTAVIUS。[histearsflowingafresh]Oh，Ican’ttakeit。Hewastoogoodtous。
　　TANNER。Youwon’tgetit，myboy，ifRamsdenupsetsthewill。
　　RAMSDEN。Ha！Isee。Youhavegotmeinacleftstick。
　　TANNER。HeleavesmenothingbutthechargeofAnn’smorals，onthegroundthatIhavealreadymoremoneythanisgoodforme。
　　Thatshowsthathehadhiswitsabouthim，doesn’tit？
　　RAMSDEN。[grimly]Iadmitthat。
　　OCTAVIUS。[risingandcomingfromhisrefugebythewall]MrRamsden：IthinkyouareprejudicedagainstJack。Heisamanofhonor，andincapableofabusing——
　　TANNER。Don’t，Tavy：you’llmakemeill。Iamnotamanofhonor：
　　Iamamanstruckdownbyadeadhand。Tavy：youmustmarryherafterallandtakeheroffmyhands。AndIhadsetmyheartonsavingyoufromher！
　　OCTAVIUS。Oh，Jack，youtalkofsavingmefrommyhighesthappiness。
　　TANNER。Yes，alifetimeofhappiness。Ifitwereonlythefirsthalfhour’shappiness，Tavy，Iwouldbuyitforyouwithmylastpenny。Butalifetimeofhappiness！Nomanalivecouldbearit：
　　itwouldbehellonearth。
　　RAMSDEN。[violently]Stuff，sir。Talksense；orelsegoandwastesomeoneelse’stime：Ihavesomethingbettertodothanlistentoyourfooleries[hepositivelykickshiswaytohistableandresumeshisseat]。
　　TANNER。Youhearhim，Tavy！Notanideainhisheadlaterthaneighteen—sixty。Wecan’tleaveAnnwithnootherguardiantoturnto。
　　RAMSDEN。Iamproudofyourcontemptformycharacterandopinions，sir。Yourownaresetforthinthatbook，Ibelieve。
　　TANNER。[eagerlygoingtothetable]What！You’vegotmybook！
　　Whatdoyouthinkofit？
　　RAMSDEN。DoyousupposeIwouldreadsuchabook，sir？
　　TANNER。Thenwhydidyoubuyit？
　　RAMSDEN。Ididnotbuyit，sir。Ithasbeensentmebysomefoolishladywhoseemstoadmireyourviews。IwasabouttodisposeofitwhenOctaviusinterruptedme。Ishalldosonow，withyourpermission。[HethrowsthebookintothewastepaperbasketwithsuchvehemencethatTannerrecoilsundertheimpressionthatitisbeingthrownathishead]。
　　TANNER。YouhavenomoremannersthanIhavemyself。However，thatsavesceremonybetweenus。[Hesitsdownagain]。Whatdoyouintendtodoaboutthiswill？
　　OCTAVIUS。MayImakeasuggestion？
　　RAMSDEN。Certainly，Octavius。
　　OCTAVIUS。Aren’tweforgettingthatAnnherselfmayhavesomewishesinthismatter？
　　RAMSDEN。IquiteintendthatAnnie’swishesshallbeconsultedineveryreasonableway。Butsheisonlyawoman，andayoungandinexperiencedwomanatthat。
　　TANNER。Ramsden：Ibegintopityyou。
　　RAMSDEN。[hotly]Idon’twanttoknowhowyoufeeltowardsme，MrTanner。
　　TANNER。Annwilldojustexactlywhatshelikes。Andwhat’smore，she’llforceustoadvisehertodoit；andshe’llputtheblameonusifitturnsoutbadly。So，asTavyislongingtoseeher——
　　OCTAVIUS。[shyly]Iamnot，Jack。
　　TANNER。Youlie，Tavy：youare。Solet’shaveherdownfromthedrawing—roomandaskherwhatsheintendsustodo。Offwithyou，Tavy，andfetchher。[Tavyturnstogo]。Anddon’tbelongforthestrainedrelationsbetweenmyselfandRamsdenwillmaketheintervalratherpainful[Ramsdencompresseshislips，butsaysnothing——]。
　　OCTAVIUS。Nevermindhim，MrRamsden。He’snotserious。[Hegoesout]。
　　RAMSDEN[verydeliberately]MrTanner：youarethemostimpudentpersonIhaveevermet。
　　TANNER。[seriously]Iknowit，Ramsden。YetevenIcannotwhollyconquershame。Weliveinanatmosphereofshame。Weareashamedofeverythingthatisrealaboutus；ashamedofourselves，ofourrelatives，ofourincomes，ofouraccents，ofouropinions，ofourexperience，justasweareashamedofournakedskins。GoodLord，mydearRamsden，weareashamedtowalk，ashamedtorideinanomnibus，ashamedtohireahansominsteadofkeepingacarriage，ashamedofkeepingonehorseinsteadoftwoandagroom—gardenerinsteadofacoachmanandfootman。Themorethingsamanisashamedof，themorerespectableheis。Why，you’reashamedtobuymybook，ashamedtoreadit：theonlythingyou’renotashamedofistojudgemeforitwithouthavingreadit；andeventhatonlymeansthatyou’reashamedtohaveheterodoxopinions。LookattheeffectIproducebecausemyfairygodmotherwithheldfrommethisgiftofshame。Ihaveeverypossiblevirtuethatamancanhaveexcept——
　　RAMSDEN。Iamgladyouthinksowellofyourself。
　　TANNER。AllyoumeanbythatisthatyouthinkIoughttobeashamedoftalkingaboutmyvirtues。Youdon’tmeanthatI
　　haven’tgotthem：youknowperfectlywellthatIamassoberandhonestacitizenasyourself，astruthfulpersonally，andmuchmoretruthfulpoliticallyandmorally。
　　RAMSDEN。[touchedonhismostsensitivepoint]Idenythat。I
　　willnotallowyouoranymantotreatmeasifIwereamerememberoftheBritishpublic。Idetestitsprejudices；Iscornitsnarrowness；Idemandtherighttothinkformyself。Youposeasanadvancedman。LetmetellyouthatIwasanadvancedmanbeforeyouwereborn。
　　TANNER。Iknewitwasalongtimeago。
　　RAMSDEN。IamasadvancedaseverIwas。IdefyyoutoprovethatIhaveeverhauleddowntheflag。IammoreadvancedthaneverI
　　was。Igrowmoreadvancedeveryday。
　　TANNER。Moreadvancedinyears，Polonius。
　　RAMSDEN。Polonius！SoyouareHamlet，Isuppose。
　　TANNER。No：Iamonlythemostimpudentpersonyou’veevermet。
　　That’syournotionofathoroughlybadcharacter。Whenyouwanttogivemeapieceofyourmind，youaskyourself，asajustanduprightman，whatistheworstyoucanfairlysayofme。Thief，liar，forger，adulterer，perjurer，glutton，drunkard？Notoneofthesenamesfitme。Youhavetofallbackonmydeficiencyinshame。Well，Iadmitit。Ievencongratulatemyself；forifI
　　wereashamedofmyrealself，Ishouldcutasstupidafigureasanyoftherestofyou。Cultivatealittleimpudence，Ramsden；
　　andyouwillbecomequitearemarkableman。
　　RAMSDEN。Ihaveno——
　　TANNER。Youhavenodesireforthatsortofnotoriety。Blessyou，IknewthatanswerwouldcomeaswellasIknowthataboxofmatcheswillcomeoutofanautomaticmachinewhenIputapennyintheslot：youwouldbeashamedtosayanythingelse。
　　ThecrushingretortforwhichRamsdenhasbeenvisiblycollectinghisforcesislostforever；foratthispointOctaviusreturnswithMissAnnWhitefieldandhermother；andRamsdenspringsupandhurriestothedoortoreceivethem。WhetherAnnisgood—lookingornotdependsuponyourtaste；alsoandperhapschieflyonyourageandsex。ToOctaviussheisanenchantinglybeautifulwoman，inwhosepresencetheworldbecomestransfigured，andthepunylimitsofindividualconsciousnessaresuddenlymadeinfinitebyamysticmemoryofthewholelifeoftheracetoitsbeginningsintheeast，orevenbacktotheparadisefromwhichitfell。Sheistohimtherealityofromance，theleanergoodsenseofnonsense，theunveilingofhiseyes，thefreeingofhissoul，theabolitionoftime，placeandcircumstance，theetherealizationofhisbloodintorapturousriversoftheverywateroflifeitself，therevelationofallthemysteriesandthesanctificationofallthedogmas。Tohermothersheis，toputitasmoderatelyaspossible，nothingwhateverofthekind。NotthatOctavius’sadmirationisinanywayridiculousordiscreditable。Annisawellformedcreature，asfarasthatgoes；andsheisperfectlyladylike，graceful，andcomely，withensnaringeyesandhair。Besides，insteadofmakingherselfaneyesore，likehermother，shehasdevisedamourningcostumeofblackandvioletsilkwhichdoeshonortoherlatefatherandrevealsthefamilytraditionofbraveunconventionalitybywhichRamsdensetssuchstore。
　　ButallthisisbesidethepointasanexplanationofAnn’scharm。Turnuphernose，giveacasttohereye，replaceherblackandvioletconfectionbytheapronandfeathersofaflowergirl，strikealltheaitchesoutofherspeech，andAnnwouldstillmakemendream。Vitalityisascommonashumanity；but，likehumanity，itsometimesrisestogenius；andAnnisoneofthevitalgeniuses。Notatall，ifyouplease，anoversexedperson：thatisavitaldefect，notatrueexcess。Sheisaperfectlyrespectable，perfectlyself—controlledwoman，andlooksit；thoughherposeisfashionablyfrankandimpulsive。Sheinspiresconfidenceasapersonwhowilldonothingshedoesnotmeantodo；alsosomefear，perhaps，asawomanwhowillprobablydoeverythingshemeanstodowithouttakingmoreaccountofotherpeoplethanmaybenecessaryandwhatshecallsright。Inshort，whattheweakerofherownsexsometimescallacat。
　　NothingcanbemoredecorousthanherentryandherreceptionbyRamsden，whomshekisses。ThelateMrWhitefieldwouldbegratifiedalmosttoimpatiencebythelongfacesofthemen（exceptTanner，whoisfidgety），thesilenthandgrasps，thesympatheticplacingofchairs，thesniffingofthewidow，andtheliquideyeofthedaughter，whoseheart，apparently，willnotlethercontrolhertonguetospeech。RamsdenandOctaviustakethetwochairsfromthewall，andplacethemforthetwoladies；butAnncomestoTannerandtakeshischair，whichheofferswithabrusquegesture，subsequentlyrelievinghisirritationbysittingdownonthecornerofthewritingtablewithstudiedindecorum。
　　OctaviusgivesMrsWhitefieldachairnextAnn，andhimselftakesthevacantonewhichRamsdenhasplacedunderthenoseoftheeffigyofMrHerbertSpencer。
　　MrsWhitefield，bytheway，isalittlewoman，whosefadedflaxenhairlookslikestrawonanegg。Shehasanexpressionofmuddledshrewdness，asqueakofprotestinhervoice，andanoddairofcontinuallyelbowingawaysomelargerpersonwhoiscrushingherintoacorner。Oneguessesherasoneofthosewomenwhoareconsciousofbeingtreatedassillyandnegligible，andwho，withouthavingstrengthenoughtoassertthemselveseffectually，atanyrateneversubmittotheirfate。ThereisatouchofchivalryinOctavius’sscrupulousattentiontoher，evenwhilsthiswholesoulisabsorbedbyAnn。
　　Ramsdengoessolemnlybacktohismagisterialseatatthewritingtable，ignoringTanner，andopenstheproceedings。
　　RAMSDEN。Iamsorry，Annie，toforcebusinessonyouatasadtimelikethepresent。Butyourpoordearfather’swillhasraisedaveryseriousquestion。Youhavereadit，Ibelieve？
　　[Annassentswithanodandacatchofherbreath，toomuchaffectedtospeak]。
　　ImustsayIamsurprisedtofindMrTannernamedasjointguardianandtrusteewithmyselfofyouandRhoda。[Apause。Theyalllookportentous；buttheyhavenothingtosay。Ramsden，alittleruffledbythelackofanyresponse，continues]Idon’tknowthatIcanconsenttoactundersuchconditions。MrTannerhas，Iunderstand，someobjectionalso；butIdonotprofesstounderstanditsnature：hewillnodoubtspeakforhimself。Butweareagreedthatwecandecidenothinguntilweknowyourviews。I
　　amafraidIshallhavetoaskyoutochoosebetweenmysoleguardianshipandthatofMrTanner；forIfearitisimpossibleforustoundertakeajointarrangement。
　　ANN。[inalowmusicalvoice]Mamma——
　　MRSWHITEFIELD。[hastily]Now，Ann，Idobegyounottoputitonme。Ihavenoopiniononthesubject；andifIhad，itwouldprobablynotbeattendedto。Iamquitewithwhateveryouthreethinkbest。
　　TannerturnshisheadandlooksfixedlyatRamsden，whoangrilyrefusestoreceivethismutecommunication。
　　ANN。[resuminginthesamegentlevoice，ignoringhermother’sbadtaste]MammaknowsthatsheisnotstrongenoughtobearthewholeresponsibilityformeandRhodawithoutsomehelpandadvice。Rhodamusthaveaguardian；andthoughIamolder，Idonotthinkanyyoungunmarriedwomanshouldbeleftquitetoherownguidance。Ihopeyouagreewithme，Granny？
　　TANNER。[starting]Granny！DoyouintendtocallyourguardiansGranny？
　　ANN。Don’tbefoolish，Jack。MrRamsdenhasalwaysbeenGrandpapaRoebucktome：IamGranny’sAnnie；andheisAnnie’sGranny。I
　　christenedhimsowhenIfirstlearnedtospeak。
　　RAMSDEN。[sarcastically]Ihopeyouaresatisfied，MrTanner。Goon，Annie：Iquiteagreewithyou。
　　ANN。Well，ifIamtohaveaguardian，CANIsetasideanybodywhommydearfatherappointedforme？
　　RAMSDEN。[bitinghislip]Youapproveofyourfather’schoice，then？
　　ANN。Itisnotformetoapproveordisapprove。Iacceptit。Myfatherlovedmeandknewbestwhatwasgoodforme。
　　RAMSDEN。OfcourseIunderstandyourfeeling，Annie。ItiswhatI
　　shouldhaveexpectedofyou；anditdoesyoucredit。Butitdoesnotsettlethequestionsocompletelyasyouthink。Letmeputacasetoyou。SupposeyouweretodiscoverthatIhadbeenguiltyofsomedisgracefulaction——thatIwasnotthemanyourpoordearfathertookmefor。WouldyoustillconsideritrightthatI
　　shouldbeRhoda’sguardian？
　　ANN。Ican’timagineyoudoinganythingdisgraceful，Granny。
　　TANNER。[toRamsden]Youhaven’tdoneanythingofthesort，haveyou？
　　RAMSDEN。[indignantly]Nosir。
　　MRS。WHITEFIELD。[placidly]Well，then，whysupposeit？
　　ANN。Yousee，Granny，Mammawouldnotlikemetosupposeit。
　　RAMSDEN。[muchperplexed]Youarebothsofullofnaturalandaffectionatefeelinginthesefamilymattersthatitisveryhardtoputthesituationfairlybeforeyou。
　　TANNER。Besides，myfriend，youarenotputtingthesituationfairlybeforethem。
　　RAMSDEN。[sulkily]Putityourself，then。
　　TANNER。Iwill。Ann：RamsdenthinksIamnotfitbeyourguardian；andIquiteagreewithhim。Heconsidersthatifyourfatherhadreadmybook，hewouldn’thaveappointedme。Thatbookisthedisgracefulactionhehasbeentalkingabout。Hethinksit’syourdutyforRhoda’ssaketoaskhimtoactaloneandtomakemewithdraw。SaythewordandIwill。
　　ANN。ButIhaven’treadyourbook，Jack。
　　TANNER。[divingatthewaste—paperbasketandfishingthebookoutforher]Thenreaditatonceanddecide。
　　RAMSDEN。IfIamtobeyourguardian，Ipositivelyforbidyoutoreadthatbook，Annie。[Hesmitesthetablewithhisfistandrises]。
　　ANN。Ofcourse，ifyoudon’twishit。[Sheputsthebookonthetable]。
　　TANNER。Ifoneguardianistoforbidyoutoreadtheotherguardian’sbook，howarewetosettleit？SupposeIorderyoutoreadit！Whataboutyourdutytome？
　　ANN。[gently]Iamsureyouwouldneverpurposelyforcemeintoapainfuldilemma，Jack。
　　RAMSDEN。[irritably]Yes，yes，Annie：thisisallverywell，and，asIsaid，quitenaturalandbecoming。Butyoumustmakeachoiceonewayortheother。Weareasmuchinadilemmaasyou。
　　ANN。IfeelthatIamtooyoung，tooinexperienced，todecide。Myfather’swishesaresacredtome。
　　MRSWHITEFIELD。Ifyoutwomenwon’tcarrythemoutImustsayitisratherhardthatyoushouldputtheresponsibilityonAnn。Itseemstomethatpeoplearealwaysputtingthingsonotherpeopleinthisworld。
　　RAMSDEN。Iamsorryyoutakeitthatway。
　　ANN。[touchingly]Doyourefusetoacceptmeasyourward，Granny？
　　RAMSDEN。No：Ineversaidthat。IgreatlyobjecttoactwithMrTanner：that’sall。
　　MRS。WHITEFIELD。Why？What’sthematterwithpoorJack？
　　TANNER。Myviewsaretooadvancedforhim。
　　RAMSDEN。[indignantly]Theyarenot。Idenyit。
　　ANN。Ofcoursenot。Whatnonsense！NobodyismoreadvancedthanGranny。IamsureitisJackhimselfwhohasmadeallthedifficulty。Come，Jack！Bekindtomeinmysorrow。Youdon’trefusetoacceptmeasyourward，doyou？
　　TANNER。[gloomily]No。Iletmyselfinforit；soIsupposeI
　　mustfaceit。[Heturnsawaytothebookcase，andstandsthere，moodilystudyingthetitlesofthevolumes]。
　　ANN。[risingandexpandingwithsubduedbutgushingdelight]Thenweareallagreed；andmydearfather’swillistobecarriedout。Youdon’tknowwhatajoythatistomeandtomymother！
　　[ShegoestoRamsdenandpressesbothhishands，saying]AndI
　　shallhavemydearGrannytohelpandadviseme。[ShecastsaglanceatTanneroverhershoulder]。AndJacktheGiantKiller。
　　[ShegoespasthermothertoOctavius]。AndJack’sinseparablefriendRicky—ticky—tavy[heblushesandlooksinexpressiblyfoolish]。
　　MRSWHITEFIELD。[risingandshakingherwidow’sweedsstraight]
　　NowthatyouareAnn’sguardian，MrRamsden，Iwishyouwouldspeaktoheraboutherhabitofgivingpeoplenicknames。Theycan’tbeexpectedtolikeit。[Shemovestowardsthedoor]。
　　ANN。Howcanyousaysuchathing，Mamma！[Glowingwithaffectionateremorse]Oh，Iwondercanyouberight！HaveIbeeninconsiderate？[SheturnstoOctavius，whoissittingastridehischairwithhiselbowsonthebackofit。Puttingherhandonhisforeheadtheturnshisfaceupsuddenly]。Doyouwanttobetreatedlikeagrownupman？MustIcallyouMrRobinsoninfuture？
　　OCTAVIUS。[earnestly]OhpleasecallmeRicky—ticky——tavy，"MrRobinson"wouldhurtmecruelly。Shelaughsandpatshischeekwithherfinger；thencomesbacktoRamsden]。YouknowI’mbeginningtothinkthatGrannyisratherapieceofimpertinence。
　　ButIneverdreamtofitshurtingyou。
　　RAMSDEN。[breezily，ashepatsheraffectionatelyontheback]MydearAnnie，nonsense。IinsistonGranny。Iwon’tanswertoanyothernamethanAnnie’sGranny。
　　ANN。[gratefully]Youallspoilme，exceptJack。
　　TANNER。[overhisshoulder，fromthebookcase]IthinkyououghttocallmeMrTanner。
　　ANN。[gently]Noyoudon’t，Jack。That’slikethethingsyousayonpurposetoshockpeople：thosewhoknowyoupaynoattentiontothem。But，ifyoulike，I’llcallyouafteryourfamousancestorDonJuan。
　　RAMSDEN。DonJuan！
　　ANN。[innocently]Oh，isthereanyharminit？Ididn’tknow。
　　ThenIcertainlywon’tcallyouthat。MayIcallyouJackuntilIcanthinkofsomethingelse？
　　TANKER。Oh，forHeaven’ssakedon’ttrytoinventanythingworse。
　　Icapitulate。IconsenttoJack。IembraceJack。Hereendethmyfirstandlastattempttoassertmyauthority。
　　ANN。Yousee，Mamma，theyallreallyliketohavepetnames。
　　MRSWHITEFIELD。Well，Ithinkyoumightatleastdropthemuntilweareoutofmourning。
　　ANN。[reproachfully，strickentothesoul]Oh，howcouldyouremindme，mother？[Shehastilyleavestheroomtoconcealheremotion]。
　　MRSWHITEFIELD。Ofcourse。Myfaultasusual！[ShefollowsAnn]。
　　TANNER。[comingfromthebockcase]Ramsden：we’rebeaten——
　　smashed——nonentitized，likehermother。
　　RAMSDEN。Stuff，Sir。[HefollowsMrsWhitefieldoutoftheroom]。
　　TANNER。[leftalonewithOctavius，stareswhimsicallyathim]
　　Tavy：doyouwanttocountforsomethingintheworld？
　　OCTAVIUS。Iwanttocountforsomethingasapoet：Iwanttowriteagreatplay。
　　TANNER。WithAnnastheheroine？
　　OCTAVIUS。Yes：Iconfessit。
　　TANNER。Takecare，Tavy。TheplaywithAnnastheheroineisallright；butifyou’renotverycareful，byHeavenshe’llmarryyou。
　　OCTAVIUS。[sighing]Nosuchluck，Jack！
　　TANNER。Why，man，yourheadisinthelioness’smouth：youarehalfswallowedalready——inthreebites——BiteOne，Ricky；BiteTwo，Ticky；BiteThree，Tavy；anddownyougo。
　　OCTAVIUS。Sheisthesametoeverybody，Jack：youknowherways。
　　TANNER。Yes：shebreakseverybody’sbackwiththestrokeofherpaw；butthequestionis，whichofuswillsheeat？Myownopinionisthatshemeanstoeatyou。
　　OCTAVIUS。[rising，pettishly]It’shorribletotalklikethataboutherwhensheisupstairscryingforherfather。ButIdosowanthertoeatmethatIcanbearyourbrutalitiesbecausetheygivemehope。
　　TANNER。Tavy；that’sthedevilishsideofawoman’sfascination：
　　shemakesyouwillyourowndestruction。
　　OCTAVIUS。Butit’snotdestruction：it’sfulfilment。
　　TANNER。Yes，ofHERpurpose；andthatpurposeisneitherherhappinessnoryours，butNature’s。Vitalityinawomanisablindfuryofcreation。Shesacrificesherselftoit：doyouthinkshewillhesitatetosacrificeyou？
　　OCTAVIUS。Why，itisjustbecausesheisself—sacrificingthatshewillnotsacrificethosesheloves。
　　TANNER。Thatistheprofoundestofmistakes，Tavy。Itistheself—sacrificingwomenthatsacrificeothersmostrecklessly。
　　Becausetheyareunselfish，theyarekindinlittlethings。
　　Becausetheyhaveapurposewhichisnottheirownpurpose，butthatofthewholeuniverse，amanisnothingtothembutaninstrumentofthatpurpose。
　　OCTAVIUS。Don’tbeungenerous，Jack。Theytakethetenderestcareofus。
　　TANNER。Yes，asasoldiertakescareofhisrifleoramusicianofhisviolin。Butdotheyallowusanypurposeorfreedomofourown？Willtheylendustooneanother？Canthestrongestmanescapefromthemwhenonceheisappropriated？Theytremblewhenweareindanger，andweepwhenwedie；butthetearsarenotforus，butforafatherwasted，ason’sbreedingthrownaway。Theyaccuseusoftreatingthemasameremeanstoourpleasure；buthowcansofeebleandtransientafollyasaman’sselfishpleasureenslaveawomanasthewholepurposeofNatureembodiedinawomancanenslaveaman？
　　OCTAVIUS。Whatmatter，iftheslaverymakesushappy？
　　TANNER。Nomatteratallifyouhavenopurposeofyourown，andare，likemostmen，amerebreadwinner。Butyou，Tavy，areanartist：thatis，youhaveapurposeasabsorbingandasunscrupulousasawoman’spurpose。
　　OCTAVIUS。Notunscrupulous。
　　TANNER。Quiteunscrupulous。Thetrueartistwilllethiswifestarve，hischildrengobarefoot，hismotherdrudgeforhislivingatseventy，soonerthanworkatanythingbuthisart。Towomenheishalfvivisector，halfvampire。Hegetsintointimaterelationswiththemtostudythem，tostripthemaskofconventionfromthem，tosurprisetheirinmostsecrets，knowingthattheyhavethepowertorousehisdeepestcreativeenergies，torescuehimfromhiscoldreason，tomakehimseevisionsanddreamdreams，toinspirehim，ashecallsit。Hepersuadeswomenthattheymaydothisfortheirownpurposewhilsthereallymeansthemtodoitforhis。Hestealsthemother’smilkandblackensittomakeprinter’sinktoscoffatherandglorifyidealwomenwith。Hepretendstospareherthepangsofchildbearingsothathemayhaveforhimselfthetendernessandfosteringthatbelongofrighttoherchildren。Sincemarriagebegan，thegreatartisthasbeenknownasabadhusband。Butheisworse：heisachild—robber，abloodsucker，ahypocriteandacheat。PerishtheraceandwitherathousandwomenifonlythesacrificeofthemenablehimtoactHamletbetter，topaintafinerpicture，towriteadeeperpoem，agreaterplay，aprofounderphilosophy！Formarkyou，Tavy，theartist’sworkistoshowusourselvesaswereallyare。Ourmindsarenothingbutthisknowledgeofourselves；andhewhoaddsajottosuchknowledgecreatesnewmindassurelyasanywomancreatesnewmen。Intherageofthatcreationheisasruthlessasthewoman，asdangeroustoherasshetohim，andashorriblyfascinating。
　　Ofallhumanstrugglesthereisnonesotreacherousandremorselessasthestrugglebetweentheartistmanandthemotherwoman。Whichshalluseuptheother？thatistheissuebetweenthem。Anditisallthedeadlierbecause，inyourromanticistcant，theyloveoneanother。
　　OCTAVIUS。Evenifitwereso——andIdon’tadmititforamoment——
　　itisoutofthedeadlieststrugglesthatwegetthenoblestcharacters。
　　TANNER。RememberthatthenexttimeyoumeetagrizzlybearoraBengaltiger，Tavy。
　　OCTAVIUS。Imeantwherethereislove，Jack。
　　TANNER。Oh，thetigerwillloveyou。Thereisnolovesincererthantheloveoffood。IthinkAnnlovesyouthatway：shepattedyourcheekasifitwereanicelyunderdonechop。
　　OCTAVIUS。Youknow，Jack，IshouldhavetorunawayfromyouifI
　　didnotmakeitafixedrulenottomindanythingyousay。Youcomeoutwithperfectlyrevoltingthingssometimes。
　　Ramsdenreturns，followedbyAnn。Theycomeinquickly，withtheirformerleisurelyairofdecorousgriefchangedtooneofgenuineconcern，and，onRamsden’spart，ofworry。Hecomesbetweenthetwomen，intendingtoaddressOctavius，butpullshimselfupabruptlyasheseesTanner。
　　RAMSDEN。Ihardlyexpectedtofindyoustillhere，MrTanner。
　　TANNER。AmIintheway？Goodmorning，fellowguardian[hegoestowardsthedoor]。
　　ANN。Stop，Jack。Granny：hemustknow，soonerorlater。
　　RAMSDEN。Octavius：Ihaveaveryseriouspieceofnewsforyou。
　　Itisofthemostprivateanddelicatenature——ofthemostpainfulnaturetoo，Iamsorrytosay。DoyouwishMrTannertobepresentwhilstIexplain？
　　OCTAVIUS。[turningpale]IhavenosecretsfromJack。
　　RAMSDEN。Beforeyoudecidethatfinally，letmesaythatthenewsconcernsyoursister，andthatitisterriblenews。
　　OCTAVIUS。Violet！Whathashappened？Isshe——dead？
　　RAMSDEN。Iamnotsurethatitisnotevenworsethanthat。
　　OCTAVIUS。Isshebadlyhurt？Hastherebeenanaccident？
　　RAMSDEN。No：nothingofthatsort。
　　TANNER。Ann：willyouhavethecommonhumanitytotelluswhatthematteris？
　　ANN。[halfwhispering]Ican’t。Violethasdonesomethingdreadful。Weshallhavetogetherawaysomewhere。[SheflutterstothewritingtableandsitsinRamsden’schair，leavingthethreementofightitoutbetweenthem]。
　　OCTAVIUS。[enlightened]Isthatwhatyoumeant，MrRamsden？
　　RAMSDEN。Yes。[Octaviussinksuponachair，crushed]。IamafraidthereisnodoubtthatVioletdidnotreallygotoEastbournethreeweeksagowhenwethoughtshewaswiththeParryWhitefields。Andshecalledonastrangedoctoryesterdaywithaweddingringonherfinger。Mrs。ParryWhitefieldmethertherebychance；andsothewholethingcameout。
　　OCTAVIUS。[risingwithhisfistsclenched]Whoisthescoundrel？
　　ANN。Shewon’ttellus。
　　OCTAVIUS。[collapsinguponhischairagain]Whatafrightfulthing！
　　TANNER。[withangrysarcasm]Dreadful。Appalling。Worsethandeath，asRamsdensays。[HecomestoOctavius]。Whatwouldyounotgive，Tavy，toturnitintoarailwayaccident，withallherbonesbrokenorsomethingequallyrespectableanddeservingofsympathy？
　　OCTAVIUS。Don’tbebrutal，Jack。
　　TANNER。Brutal！GoodHeavens，man，whatareyoucryingfor？Hereisawomanwhomweallsupposedtobemakingbadwatercolorsketches，practisingGriegandBrahms，gaddingabouttoconcertsandparties，wastingherlifeandhermoney。Wesuddenlylearnthatshehasturnedfromthesesillinessestothefulfilmentofherhighestpurposeandgreatestfunction——toincrease，multiplyandreplenishtheearth。Andinsteadofadmiringhercourageandrejoicinginherinstinct；insteadofcrowningthecompletedwomanhoodandraisingthetriumphalstrainof"Untousachildisborn：untousasonisgiven，"hereyouare——youwhohavebeenasmerryasBrigsinyourmourningforthedead——allpullinglongfacesandlookingasashamedanddisgracedasifthegirlhadcommittedthevilestofcrimes。
　　RAMSDEN。[roaringwithrage]Iwillnothavetheseabominationsutteredinmyhouse[hesmitesthewritingtablewithhisfist]。
　　TANNER。Lookhere：ifyouinsultmeagainI’lltakeyouatyourwordandleaveyourhouse。Ann：whereisVioletnow？
　　ANN。Why？Areyougoingtoher？
　　TANNER。OfcourseIamgoingtoher。Shewantshelp；shewantsmoney；shewantsrespectandcongratulation。Shewantseverychanceforherchild。Shedoesnotseemlikelytogetitfromyou：sheshallfromme。Whereisshe？
　　ANN。Don’tbesoheadstrong，Jack。She’supstairs。
　　TANNER。What！UnderRamsden’ssacredroof！Goanddoyourmiserableduty，Ramsden。Huntheroutintothestreet。Cleanseyourthresholdfromhercontamination。VindicatethepurityofyourEnglishhome。I’llgoforacab，ANN。[alarmed]Oh，Granny，youmustn’tdothat。
　　OCTAVIUS。[broken—heartedly，rising]I’lltakeheraway，MrRamsden。Shehadnorighttocometoyourhouse。
　　RAMSDEN。[indignantly]ButIamonlytooanxioustohelpher。
　　[turningonTanner]Howdareyou，sir，imputesuchmonstrousintentionstome？Iprotestagainstit。Iamreadytoputdownmylastpennytosaveherfrombeingdriventoruntoyouforprotection。
　　TANNER。[subsiding]It’sallright，then。He’snotgoingtoactuptohisprinciples。It’sagreedthatweallstandbyViolet。
　　OCTAVIUS。Butwhoistheman？Hecanmakereparationbymarryingher；andheshall，orheshallanswerforittome。
　　RAMSDEN。Heshall，Octavius。Thereyouspeaklikeaman。
　　TANNER。Thenyoudon’tthinkhimascoundrel，afterall？
　　OCTAVIUS。Notascoundrel！Heisaheartlessscoundrel。
　　RAMSDEN。Adamnedscoundrel。Ibegyourpardon，Annie；butIcansaynoless。