TANNER。Sowearetomarryyoursistertoadamnedscoundrelbywayofreforminghercharacter！Onmysoul，Ithinkyouareallmad。
　　ANN。Don’tbeabsurd，Jack。Ofcourseyouarequiteright，Tavy；
　　butwedon’tknowwhoheis：Violetwon’ttellus。
　　TANNER。Whatonearthdoesitmatterwhoheis？He’sdonehispart；andVioletmustdotherest。
　　RAMSDEN。[besidehimself]Stuff！lunacy！Thereisarascalinourmidst，alibertine，avillainworsethanamurderer；andwearenottolearnwhoheis！Inourignorancewearetoshakehimbythehand；tointroducehimintoourhomes；totrustourdaughterswithhim；to——to——
　　ANN。[coaxingly]There，Granny，don’ttalksoloud。It’smostshocking：wemustalladmitthat；butifVioletwon’ttellus，whatcanwedo？Nothing。Simplynothing。
　　RAMSDEN。Hmph！I’mnotsosureofthat。IfanymanhaspaidVioletanyspecialattention，wecaneasilyfindthatout。Ifthereisanymanofnotoriouslylooseprinciplesamongus——
　　TANNER。Ahem！
　　RAMSDEN。[raisinghisvoice]Yessir，Irepeat，ifthereisanymanofnotoriouslylooseprinciplesamongus——
　　TANNER。Oranymannotoriouslylackinginself—control。
　　RAMSDEN。[aghast]DoyoudaretosuggestthatIamcapableofsuchanact？
　　TANNER。MydearRamsden，thisisanactofwhicheverymaniscapable。ThatiswhatcomesofgettingatcrosspurposeswithNature。Thesuspicionyouhavejustflungatmeclingstousall。
　　It’sasortofmudthatstickstothejudge’sermineorthecardinal’srobeasfastastotheragsofthetramp。Come，Tavy：
　　don’tlooksobewildered：itmighthavebeenme：itmighthavebeenRamsden；justasitmighthavebeenanybody。Ifithad，whatcouldwedobutlieandprotestasRamsdenisgoingtoprotest。
　　RAMSDEN。[choking]]I——I——I——
　　TANNER。Guiltitselfcouldnotstammermoreconfusedly，Andyetyouknowperfectlywellhe’sinnocent，Tavy。
　　RAMSDEN。[exhausted]Iamgladyouadmitthat，sir。Iadmit，myself，thatthereisanelementoftruthinwhatyousay，grosslyasyoumaydistortittogratifyyourmalicioushumor。I
　　hope，Octavius，nosuspicionofmeispossibleinyourmind。
　　OCTAVIUS。Ofyou！No，notforamoment。
　　TANNER。[drily]Ithinkhesuspectsmejustalittle。
　　OCTAVIUS。Jack：youcouldn’t——youwouldn’t——
　　TANNER。Whynot？
　　OCTAVIUS。[appalled]Whynot！
　　TANNER。Oh，well，I’lltellyouwhynot。First，youwouldfeelboundtoquarrelwithme。Second，Violetdoesn’tlikeme。Third，ifIhadthehonorofbeingthefatherofViolet’schild，I
　　shouldboastofitinsteadofdenyingit。Sobeeasy：ourFriendshipisnotindanger。
　　OCTAVIUS。Ishouldhaveputawaythesuspicionwithhorrorifonlyyouwouldthinkandfeelnaturallyaboutit。Ibegyourpardon。
　　TANNER。MYpardon！nonsense！Andnowlet’ssitdownandhaveafamilycouncil。[Hesitsdown。Therestfollowhisexample，moreorlessunderprotest]。VioletisgoingtodotheStateaservice；consequentlyshemustbepackedabroadlikeacriminaluntilit’sover。What’shappeningupstairs？
　　ANN。Violetisinthehousekeeper’sroom——byherself，ofcourse。
　　TANNER。Whynotinthedrawingroom？
　　ANN。Don’tbeabsurd，Jack。MissRamsdenisinthedrawingroomwithmymother，consideringwhattodo。
　　TANNER。Oh！thehousekeeper’sroomisthepenitentiary，I
　　suppose；andtheprisoneriswaitingtobebroughtbeforeherjudges。Theoldcats！
　　ANN。Oh，Jack！
　　RAMSDEN。Youareatpresentaguestbeneaththeroofofoneoftheoldcats，sir。Mysisteristhemistressofthishouse。
　　TANNER。Shewouldputmeinthehousekeeper’sroom，too，ifshedared，Ramsden。However，Iwithdrawcats。Catswouldhavemoresense。Ann：asyourguardian，IorderyoutogotoVioletatonceandbeparticularlykindtoher。
　　ANN。Ihaveseenher，Jack。AndIamsorrytosayIamafraidsheisgoingtoberatherobstinateaboutgoingabroad。IthinkTavyoughttospeaktoheraboutit。
　　OCTAVIUS。HowcanIspeaktoheraboutsuchathing[hebreaksdown]？
　　ANN。Don’tbreakdown，Ricky。Trytobearitforalloursakes。
　　RAMSDEN。Lifeisnotallplaysandpoems，Octavius。Come！faceitlikeaman。
　　TANNER。[chafingagain]Poordearbrother！Poordearfriendsofthefamily！PoordearTabbiesandGrimalkins。Poordeareverybodyexceptthewomanwhoisgoingtoriskherlifetocreateanotherlife！Tavy：don’tyoubeaselfishass。AwaywithyouandtalktoViolet；andbringherdownhereifshecarestocome。[Octaviusrises]。Tellherwe’llstandbyher。
　　RAMSDEN。[rising]No，sir——
　　TANNER。[risingalsoandinterruptinghim]Oh，weunderstand：
　　it’sagainstyourconscience；butstillyou’lldoit。
　　OCTAVIUS。Iassureyouall，onmyword，Inevermeanttobeselfish。It’ssohardtoknowwhattodowhenonewishesearnestlytodoright。
　　TANNER。MydearTavy，yourpiousEnglishhabitofregardingtheworldasamoralgymnasiumbuiltexpresslytostrengthenyourcharacterin，occasionallyleadsyoutothinkaboutyourownconfoundedprincipleswhenyoushouldbethinkingaboutotherpeople’snecessities。Theneedofthepresenthourisahappymotherandahealthybaby。Bendyourenergiesonthat；andyouwillseeyourwayclearlyenough。
　　Octavius，muchperplexed，goesout。
　　RAMSDEN。[facingTannerimpressively]AndMorality，sir？Whatistobecomeofthat？
　　TANNER。MeaningaweepingMagdalenandaninnocentchildbrandedwithhershame。Notinourcircle，thankyou。Moralitycangotoitsfatherthedevil。
　　RAMSDEN。Ithoughtso，sir。Moralitysenttothedeviltopleaseourlibertines，maleandfemale。ThatistobethefutureofEngland，isit？
　　TANNER。Oh，Englandwillsurviveyourdisapproval。Meanwhile，I
　　understandthatyouagreewithmeastothepracticalcoursewearetotake？
　　RAMSDEN。Notinyourspiritsir。Notforyourreasons。
　　TANNER。Youcanexplainthatifanybodycallsyoutoaccount，hereorhereafter。[Heturnsaway，andplantshimselfinfrontofMrHerbertSpencer，atwhomhestaresgloomily]。
　　ANN。[risingandcomingtoRamsden]Granny：hadn’tyoubettergouptothedrawingroomandtellthemwhatweintendtodo？
　　RAMSDEN。[lookingpointedlyatTanner]Ihardlyliketoleaveyoualonewiththisgentleman。Willyounotcomewithme？
　　ANN。MissRamsdenwouldnotliketospeakaboutitbeforeme，Granny。Ioughtnottobepresent。
　　RAMSDEN。Youareright：Ishouldhavethoughtofthat。Youareagoodgirl，Annie。
　　Hepatsherontheshoulder。Shelooksupathimwithbeamingeyesandhegoesout，muchmoved。Havingdisposedofhim，shelooksatTanner。Hisbackbeingturnedtoher，shegivesamoment’sattentiontoherpersonalappearance，thensoftlygoestohimandspeaksalmostintohisear。
　　ANN。Jack[heturnswithastart]：areyougladthatyouaremyguardian？Youdon’tmindbeingmaderesponsibleforme，Ihope。
　　TANNER。Thelatestadditiontoyourcollectionofscapegoats，eh？
　　ANN。Oh，thatstupidoldjokeofyoursaboutme！Dopleasedropit。Whydoyousaythingsthatyouknowmustpainme？Idomybesttopleaseyou，Jack：IsupposeImaytellyousonowthatyouaremyguardian。Youwillmakemesounhappyifyourefusetobefriendswithme。
　　TANNER。[studyingherasgloomilyashestudiedthedust]Youneednotgobeggingformyregard。Howunrealourmoraljudgmentsare！Youseemtometohaveabsolutelynoconscience——onlyhypocrisy；andyoucan’tseethedifference——yetthereisasortoffascinationaboutyou。Ialwaysattendtoyou，somehow。I
　　shouldmissyouifIlostyou。
　　ANN。[tranquillyslippingherarmintohisandwalkingaboutwithhim]Butisn’tthatonlynatural，Jack？Wehaveknowneachothersincewewerechildren。Doyouremember？
　　TANNER。[abruptlybreakingloose]Stop！IrememberEVERYTHING。
　　ANN。Oh，Idaresaywewereoftenverysilly；but——
　　TANNER。Iwon’thaveit，Ann。IamnomorethatschoolboynowthanIamthedotardofninetyIshallgrowintoifIlivelongenough。Itisover：letmeforgetit。
　　ANN。Wasn’titahappytime？[Sheattemptstotakehisarmagain]。
　　TANNER。Sitdownandbehaveyourself。[Hemakeshersitdowninthechairnextthewritingtable]。Nodoubtitwasahappytimeforyou。Youwereagoodgirlandnevercompromisedyourself。Andyetthewickedestchildthateverwasslappedcouldhardlyhavehadabettertime。Icanunderstandthesuccesswithwhichyoubulliedtheothergirls：yourvirtueimposedonthem。Buttellmethis：didyoueverknowagoodboy？
　　ANN。Ofcourse。Allboysarefoolishsometimes；butTavywasalwaysareallygoodboy。
　　TANNER。[struckbythis]Yes：you’reright。ForsomereasonyounevertemptedTavy。
　　ANN。Tempted！Jack！
　　TANNER。Yes，mydearLadyMephistopheles，tempted。Youwereinsatiablycuriousastowhataboymightbecapableof，anddiabolicallycleveratgettingthroughhisguardandsurprisinghisinmostsecrets。
　　ANN。Whatnonsense！Allbecauseyouusedtotellmelongstoriesofthewickedthingsyouhaddone——sillyboystricks！Andyoucallsuchthingsinmostsecrets：Boys’secretsarejustlikemen’s；andyouknowwhattheyare！
　　TANNER。[obstinately]NoIdon’t。Whatarethey，pray？
　　ANN。Why，thethingstheytelleverybody，ofcourse。
　　TANNER。NowIswearItoldyouthingsItoldnooneelse。Youluredmeintoacompactbywhichweweretohavenosecretsfromoneanother。Weweretotelloneanothereverything，Ididn’tnoticethatyounevertoldmeanything。
　　ANN。Youdidn’twanttotalkaboutme，Jack。Youwantedtotalkaboutyourself。
　　TANNER。Ah，true，horriblytrue。Butwhatadevilofachildyoumusthavebeentoknowthatweaknessandtoplayonitforthesatisfactionofyourowncuriosity！Iwantedtobragtoyou，tomakemyselfinteresting。AndIfoundmyselfdoingallsortsofmischievousthingssimplytohavesomethingtotellyouabout。I
　　foughtwithboysIdidn’thate；IliedaboutthingsImightjustaswellhavetoldthetruthabout；IstolethingsIdidn’twant；
　　IkissedlittlegirlsIdidn’tcarefor。Itwasallbravado：
　　passionlessandthereforeunreal。
　　ANN。Inevertoldofyou，Jack。
　　TANNER。No；butifyouhadwantedtostopmeyouwouldhavetoldofme。Youwantedmetogoon。
　　ANN。[flashingout]Oh，that’snottrue：it’sNOTtrue，Jack。I
　　neverwantedyoutodothosedull，disappointing，brutal，stupid，vulgarthings。Ialwayshopedthatitwouldbesomethingreallyheroicatlast。[Recoveringherself]Excuseme，Jack；butthethingsyoudidwereneverabitlikethethingsIwantedyoutodo。Theyoftengavemegreatuneasiness；butIcouldnottellonyouandgetyouintotrouble。Andyouwereonlyaboy。Iknewyouwouldgrowoutofthem。PerhapsIwaswrong。
　　TANNER。[sardonically]Donotgivewaytoremorse，Ann。AtleastnineteentwentiethsoftheexploitsIconfessedtoyouwerepurelies。Isoonnoticedthatyoudidn’tlikethetruestories。
　　ANN。OfcourseIknewthatsomeofthethingscouldn’thavehappened。But——
　　TANNER。Youaregoingtoremindmethatsomeofthemostdisgracefulonesdid。
　　ANN。[fondly，tohisgreatterror]Idon’twanttoremindyouofanything。ButIknewthepeopletheyhappenedto，andheardaboutthem。
　　TANNER。Yes；buteventhetruestoriesweretouchedupfortelling。Asensitiveboy’shumiliationsmaybeverygoodfunforordinarythickskinnedgrown—ups；buttotheboyhimselftheyaresoacute，soignominious，thathecannotconfessthem——cannotbutdenythempassionately。However，perhapsitwasaswellformethatIromancedabit；for，ontheoneoccasionwhenItoldyouthetruth，youthreatenedtotellofme。
　　ANN。Oh，never。Neveronce。
　　TANNER。Yes，youdid。Doyourememberadark—eyedgirlnamedRachelRosetree？[Ann’sbrowscontractforaninstantinvoluntarily]。Igotupaloveaffairwithher；andwemetonenightinthegardenandwalkedaboutveryuncomfortablywithourarmsroundoneanother，andkissedatparting，andweremostconscientiouslyromantic。Ifthatloveaffairhadgoneon，itwouldhaveboredmetodeath；butitdidn’tgoon；forthenextthingthathappenedwasthatRachelcutmebecauseshefoundoutthatIhadtoldyou。Howdidshefinditout？Fromyou。Youwenttoherandheldtheguiltysecretoverherhead，leadingheralifeofabjectterrorandhumiliationbythreateningtotellonher。
　　ANN。Andaverygoodthingforher，too。Itwasmydutytostophermisconduct；andsheisthankfultomeforitnow。
　　TANNER。Isshe？
　　ANN。Sheoughttobe，atallevents。
　　TANNER。Itwasnotyourdutytostopmymisconduct，Isuppose。
　　ANN。Ididstopitbystoppingher。
　　TANNER。Areyousureofthat？Youstoppedmytellingyouaboutmyadventures；buthowdoyouknowthatyoustoppedtheadventures？
　　ANN。Doyoumeantosaythatyouwentoninthesamewaywithothergirls？
　　TANNER。No。IhadenoughofthatsortofromantictomfoolerywithRachel。
　　ANN。[unconvinced]Thenwhydidyoubreakoffourconfidencesandbecomequitestrangetome？
　　TANNER。[enigmatically]IthappenedjustthenthatIgotsomethingthatIwantedtokeepalltomyselfinsteadofsharingitwithyou。
　　ANN。IamsureIshouldn’thaveaskedforanyofitifyouhadgrudgedit。
　　TANNER。Itwasn’taboxofsweets，Ann。Itwassomethingyou’dneverhaveletmecallmyown。
　　ANN。[incredulously]What？
　　TANNER。Mysoul。
　　ANN。Oh，dobesensible，Jack。Youknowyou’retalkingnonsense。
　　TANNER。Themostsolemnearnest，Ann。Youdidn’tnoticeatthattimethatyouweregettingasoultoo。Butyouwere。ItwasnotfornothingthatyousuddenlyfoundyouhadamoraldutytochastiseandreformRachel。Uptothattimeyouhadtradedprettyextensivelyinbeingagoodchild；butyouhadneversetupasenseofdutytoothers。Well，Isetoneuptoo。UptothattimeIhadplayedtheboybuccaneerwithnomoreconsciencethanafoxinapoultryfarm。ButnowIbegantohavescruples，tofeelobligations，tofindthatveracityandhonorwerenolongergoody—goodyexpressionsinthemouthsofgrownuppeople，butcompellingprinciplesinmyself。
　　ANN。[quietly]Yes，Isupposeyou’reright。Youwerebeginningtobeaman，andItobeawoman。
　　TANNER。Areyousureitwasnotthatwewerebeginningtobesomethingmore？Whatdoesthebeginningofmanhoodandwomanhoodmeaninmostpeople’smouths？Youknow：itmeansthebeginningoflove。Butlovebeganlongbeforethatforme。LoveplayeditspartintheearliestdreamsandfolliesandromancesIcanremember——mayIsaytheearliestfolliesandromanceswecanremember？——thoughwedidnotunderstanditatthetime。No：thechangethatcametomewasthebirthinmeofmoralpassion；andIdeclarethataccordingtomyexperiencemoralpassionistheonlyrealpassion。
　　ANN。Allpassionsoughttobemoral，Jack。
　　TANNER。Ought！Doyouthinkthatanythingisstrongenoughtoimposeoughtsonapassionexceptastrongerpassionstill？
　　ANN。Ourmoralsensecontrolspassion，Jack。Don’tbestupid。
　　TANNER。Ourmoralsense！Andisthatnotapassion？Isthedeviltohaveallthepassionsaswellasallthegoodtimes？Ifitwerenotapassion——ifitwerenotthemightiestofthepassions，alltheotherpassionswouldsweepitawaylikealeafbeforeahurricane。Itisthebirthofthatpassionthatturnsachildintoaman。
　　ANN。Thereareotherpassions，Jack。Verystrongones。
　　TANNER。Alltheotherpassionswereinmebefore；buttheywereidleandaimless——merechildishgreedinessesandcruelties，curiositiesandfancies，habitsandsuperstitions，grotesqueandridiculoustothematureintelligence。Whentheysuddenlybegantoshinelikenewlylitflamesitwasbynolightoftheirown，butbytheradianceofthedawningmoralpassion。Thatpassiondignifiedthem，gavethemconscienceandmeaning，foundthemamobofappetitesandorganizedthemintoanarmyofpurposesandprinciples。Mysoulwasbornofthatpassion。
　　ANN。Inoticedthatyougotmoresense。Youwereadreadfullydestructiveboybeforethat。
　　TANNER。Destructive！Stuff！Iwasonlymischievous。
　　ANN。OhJack，youwereverydestructive。Youruinedalltheyoungfirtreesbychoppingofftheirleaderswithawoodensword。Youbrokeallthecucumberframeswithyourcatapult。Yousetfiretothecommon：thepolicearrestedTavyforitbecauseheranawaywhenhecouldn’tstopyou。You——
　　TANNER。Pooh！pooh！pooh！thesewerebattles，bombardments，stratagemstosaveourscalpsfromtheredIndians。Youhavenoimagination，Ann。IamtentimesmoredestructivenowthanIwasthen。Themoralpassionhastakenmydestructivenessinhandanddirectedittomoralends。Ihavebecomeareformer，and，likeallreformers，aniconoclast。Inolongerbreakcucumberframesandburngorsebushes：Ishattercreedsanddemolishidols。
　　ANN。[bored]IamafraidIamtoofemininetoseeanysenseindestruction。Destructioncanonlydestroy。
　　TANNER。Yes。Thatiswhyitissouseful。Constructioncumbersthegroundwithinstitutionsmadebybusybodies。Destructionclearsitandgivesusbreathingspaceandliberty。
　　ANN。It’snouse，Jack。Nowomanwillagreewithyouthere。
　　TANNER。That’sbecauseyouconfuseconstructionanddestructionwithcreationandmurder。They’requitedifferent：Iadorecreationandabhormurder。Yes：Iadoreitintreeandflower，inbirdandbeast，eveninyou。[Aflushofinterestanddelightsuddenlyclearsthegrowingperplexityandboredomfromherface]。Itwasthecreativeinstinctthatledyoutoattachmetoyoubybondsthathavelefttheirmarkonmetothisday。Yes，Ann：theoldchildishcompactbetweenuswasanunconsciouslovecompact。
　　ANN。Jack！
　　TANNER。Oh，don’tbealarmed——
　　ANN。Iamnotalarmed。
　　TANNER。[whimsically]Thenyououghttobe：whereareyourprinciples？
　　ANN。Jack：areyouseriousorareyounot？
　　TANNER。Doyoumeanaboutthemoralpassion？
　　ANN。No，no；theotherone。[Confused]Oh！youaresosilly；oneneverknowshowtotakeyou。
　　TANNER。Youmusttakemequiteseriously。Iamyourguardian；anditismydutytoimproveyourmind。
　　ANN。Thelovecompactisover，then，isit？Isupposeyougrewtiredofme？
　　TANNER。No；butthemoralpassionmadeourchildishrelationsimpossible。Ajealoussenseofmynewindividualityaroseinme。
　　ANN。Youhatedtobetreatedasaboyanylonger。PoorJack！
　　TANNER。Yes，becausetobetreatedasaboywastobetakenontheoldfooting。Ihadbecomeanewperson；andthosewhoknewtheoldpersonlaughedatme。Theonlymanwhobehavedsensiblywasmytailor：hetookmymeasureaneweverytimehesawme，whilstalltherestwentonwiththeiroldmeasurementsandexpectedthemtofitme。
　　ANN。Youbecamefrightfullyself—conscious。
　　TANNER。Whenyougotoheaven，Ann，youwillbefrightfullyconsciousofyourwingsforthefirstyearorso。Whenyoumeetyourrelativesthere，andtheypersistintreatingyouasifyouwerestillamortal，youwillnotbeabletobearthem。Youwilltrytogetintoacirclewhichhasneverknownyouexceptasanangel。
　　ANN。Soitwasonlyyourvanitythatmadeyourunawayfromusafterall？
　　TANNER。Yes，onlymyvanity，asyoucallit。
　　ANN。YouneednothavekeptawayfromMEonthataccount。
　　TANNER。Fromyouaboveallothers。Youfoughtharderthananybodyagainstmyemancipation。
　　ANN。[earnestly]Oh，howwrongyouare！Iwouldhavedoneanythingforyou。
　　TANNER。Anythingexceptletmegetloosefromyou。Eventhenyouhadacquiredbyinstinctthatdamnablewoman’strickofheapingobligationsonaman，ofplacingyourselfsoentirelyandhelplesslyathismercythatatlasthedarenottakeastepwithoutrunningtoyouforleave。Iknowapoorwretchwhoseonedesireinlifeistorunawayfromhiswife。Shepreventshimbythreateningtothrowherselfinfrontoftheengineofthetrainheleavesherin。Thatiswhatallwomendo。Ifwetrytogowhereyoudonotwantustogothereisnolawtopreventus，butwhenwetakethefirststepyourbreastsareunderourfootasitdescends：yourbodiesareunderourwheelsaswestart。Nowomanshalleverenslavemeinthatway。
　　ANN。But，Jack，youcannotgetthroughlifewithoutconsideringotherpeoplealittle。
　　TANNER。Ay；butwhatotherpeople？Itisthisconsiderationofotherpeopleorratherthiscowardlyfearofthemwhichwecallconsiderationthatmakesusthesentimentalslavesweare。
　　Toconsideryou，asyoucallit，istosubstituteyourwillformyown。Howifitbeabaserwillthanmine？Arewomentaughtbetterthanmenorworse？Aremobsofvoterstaughtbetterthanstatesmenorworse？Worse，ofcourse，inbothcases。Andthenwhatsortofworldareyougoingtoget，withitspublicmenconsideringitsvotingmobs，anditsprivatemenconsideringtheirwives？WhatdoesChurchandStatemeannowadays？TheWomanandtheRatepayer。
　　ANN。[placidly]Iamsogladyouunderstandpolitics，Jack：itwillbemostusefultoyouifyougointoparliament[hecollapseslikeaprickedbladder]。ButIamsorryyouthoughtmyinfluenceabadone。
　　TANNER。Idon’tsayitwasabadone。Butbadorgood，Ididn’tchoosetobecuttoyourmeasure。AndIwon’tbecuttoit。
　　ANN。Nobodywantsyouto，Jack。Iassureyou——reallyonmyword——
　　Idon’tmindyourqueeropinionsonelittlebit。Youknowwehaveallbeenbroughtuptohaveadvancedopinions。Whydoyoupersistinthinkingmesonarrowminded？
　　TANNER。That’sthedangerofit。Iknowyoudon’tmind，becauseyou’vefoundoutthatitdoesn’tmatter。Theboaconstrictordoesn’tmindtheopinionsofastagonelittlebitwhenonceshehasgothercoilsroundit。
　　ANN。[risinginsuddenenlightenment]O—o—o—o—oh！NOWI
　　understandwhyyouwarnedTavythatIamaboaconstrictor。
　　Grannytoldme。[Shelaughsandthrowsherboaaroundherneck]。
　　Doesn’titfeelniceandsoft，Jack？
　　TANNER。[inthetoils]Youscandalouswoman，willyouthrowawayevenyourhypocrisy？
　　ANN。Iamneverhypocriticalwithyou，Jack。Areyouangry？[Shewithdrawstheboaandthrowsitonachair]。PerhapsIshouldn’thavedonethat。
　　TANNER。[contemptuously]Pooh，prudery！Whyshouldyounot，ifitamusesyou？
　　ANN。[Shyly]Well，because——becauseIsupposewhatyoureallymeantbytheboaconstrictorwasTHIS[sheputsherarmsroundhisneck]。
　　TANNER。[Staringather]Magnificentaudacity！[Shelaughsandpatshischeeks]。NowjusttothinkthatifImentionedthisepisodenotasoulwouldbelievemeexceptthepeoplewhowouldcutmefortelling，whilstifyouaccusedmeofitnobodywouldbelievemydenial。
　　ANN。[takingherarmsawaywithperfectdignity]Youareincorrigible，Jack。Butyoushouldnotjestaboutouraffectionforoneanother。Nobodycouldpossiblymisunderstandit。YOUdonotmisunderstandit，Ihope。
　　TANNER。Mybloodinterpretsforme，Ann。PoorRickyTikyTavy！
　　ANN。[lookingquicklyathimasifthiswereanewlight]SurelyyouarenotsoabsurdastobejealousofTavy。
　　TANNER。Jealous！WhyshouldIbe？ButIdon’twonderatyourgripofhim。Ifeelthecoilstighteningroundmyveryself，thoughyouareonlyplayingwithme。
　　ANN。DoyouthinkIhavedesignsonTavy？
　　TANNER。Iknowyouhave。
　　ANN。[earnestly]Takecare，Jack。YoumaymakeTavyveryhappyifyoumisleadhimaboutme。
　　TANNER。Neverfear：hewillnotescapeyou。
　　ANN。Iwonderareyoureallyacleverman！
　　TANNER。Whythissuddenmisgivingonthesubject？
　　ANN。YouseemtounderstandallthethingsIdon’tunderstand；
　　butyouareaperfectbabyinthethingsIdounderstand。
　　TANNER。IunderstandhowTavyfeelsforyou，Ann；youmaydependonthat，atallevents。
　　ANN。AndyouthinkyouunderstandhowIfeelforTavy，don’tyou？
　　TANNER。IknowonlytoowellwhatisgoingtohappentopoorTavy。
　　ANN。Ishouldlaughatyou，Jack，ifitwerenotforpoorpapa’sdeath。Mind！Tavywillbeveryunhappy。
　　TANNER。Yes；buthewon’tknowit，poordevil。Heisathousandtimestoogoodforyou。That’swhyheisgoingtomakethemistakeofhislifeaboutyou。
　　ANN。Ithinkmenmakemoremistakesbybeingtoocleverthanbybeingtoogood[shesitsdown，withatraceofcontemptforthewholemalesexintheelegantcarriageofhershoulders]。
　　TANNER。Oh，Iknowyoudon’tcareverymuchaboutTavy。Butthereisalwaysonewhokissesandonewhoonlyallowsthekiss。
　　Tavywillkiss；andyouwillonlyturnthecheek。Andyouwillthrowhimoverifanybodybetterturnsup。
　　ANN。[offended]Youhavenorighttosaysuchthings，Jack。Theyarenottrue，andnotdelicate。IfyouandTavychoosetobestupidaboutme，thatisnotmyfault。
　　TANNER。[remorsefully]Forgivemybrutalities，Ann。Theyarelevelledatthiswickedworld，notatyou。[Shelooksupathim，pleasedandforgiving。Hebecomescautiousatonce]。Allthesame，IwishRamsdenwouldcomeback。Ineverfeelsafewithyou：thereisadevilishcharm——orno：notacharm，asubtleinterest[shelaughs]。Justso：youknowit；andyoutriumphinit。Openlyandshamelesslytriumphinit！
　　ANN。Whatashockingflirtyouare，Jack！
　　TANNER。Aflirt！！I！！
　　ANN。Yes，aflirt。Youarealwaysabusingandoffendingpeople。
　　butyouneverreallymeantoletgoyourholdofthem。
　　TANNER。Iwillringthebell。ThisconversationhasalreadygonefurtherthanIintended。
　　RamsdenandOctaviuscomebackwithMissRamsden，ahardheadedoldmaidenladyinaplainbrownsilkgown，withenoughrings，chainsandbroochestoshowthatherplainnessofdressisamatterofprinciple，notofpoverty。Shecomesintotheroomverydeterminedly：thetwomen，perplexedanddowncast，followingher。
　　Annrisesandgoeseagerlytomeether。Tannerretreatstothewallbetweenthebustsandpretendstostudythepictures。
　　Ramsdengoestohistableasusual；andOctaviusclingstotheneighborhoodofTanner。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。[almostpushingAnnasideasshecomestoMr。
　　Whitefield’schairandplantsherselfthereresolutely]Iwashmyhandsofthewholeaffair。
　　OCTAVIUS。[verywretched]IknowyouwishmetotakeVioletaway，MissRamsden。Iwill。[Heturnsirresolutelytothedoor]。
　　RAMSDEN。Nono——
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Whatistheuseofsayingno，Roebuck？OctaviusknowsthatIwouldnotturnanytrulycontriteandrepentantwomanfromyourdoors。Butwhenawomanisnotonlywicked，butintendstogoonbeingwicked，sheandIpartcompany。
　　ANN。Oh，MissRamsden，whatdoyoumean？WhathasVioletsaid？
　　RAMSDEN。Violetiscertainlyveryobstinate。Shewon’tleaveLondon。Idon’tunderstandher。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Ido。It’sasplainasthenoseonyourface，Roebuck，thatshewon’tgobecauseshedoesn’twanttobeseparatedfromthisman，whoeverheis。
　　ANN。Oh，surely，surely！Octavius：didyouspeaktoher？
　　OCTAVIUS。Shewon’ttellusanything。Shewon’tmakeanyarrangementuntilshehasconsultedsomebody。Itcan’tbeanybodyelsethanthescoundrelwhohasbetrayedher。
　　TANNER。[toOctavius]Well，letherconsulthim。Hewillbegladenoughtohavehersentabroad。Whereisthedifficulty？
　　MISSRAMSDEN。[TakingtheansweroutofOctavius’smouth]。Thedifficulty，MrJack，isthatwhenheofferedtohelpherIdidn’toffertobecomeheraccompliceinherwickedness。Sheeitherpledgesherwordnevertoseethatmanagain，orelseshefindssomenewfriends；andthesoonerthebetter。
　　[Theparlormaidappearsatthedoor。Annhastilyresumesherseat，andlooksasunconcernedaspossible。Octaviusinstinctivelyimitatesher]。
　　THEMAID。Thecabisatthedoor，ma’am。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Whatcab？
　　THEMAID。ForMissRobinson。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Oh！[Recoveringherself]Allright。[Themaidwithdraws]。Shehassentforacab。
　　TANNER。Iwantedtosendforthatcabhalfanhourago。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Iamgladsheunderstandsthepositionshehasplacedherselfin。
　　RAMSDEN。Idon’tlikehergoingawayinthisfashion，Susan。Wehadbetternotdoanythingharsh。
　　OCTAVIUS。No：thankyouagainandagain；butMissRamsdenisquiteright。Violetcannotexpecttostay。
　　ANN。Hadn’tyoubettergowithher，Tavy？
　　OCTAVIUS。Shewon’thaveme。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Ofcourseshewon’t。She’sgoingstraighttothatman。
　　TANNER。Asanaturalresultofhervirtuousreceptionhere。
　　RAMSDEN。[muchtroubled]There，Susan！Youhear！andthere’ssometruthinit。Iwishyoucouldreconcileitwithyourprinciplestobealittlepatientwiththispoorgirl。She’sveryyoung；andthere’satimeforeverything。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Oh，shewillgetallthesympathyshewantsfromthemen。I’msurprisedatyou，Roebuck。
　　TANNER。SoamI，Ramsden，mostfavorably。
　　Violetappearsatthedoor。Sheisasimpenitentandself—assuredayoungladyasonewoulddesiretoseeamongthebestbehavedofhersex。Hersmallheadandtinyresolutemouthandchin；herhaughtycrispnessofspeechandtrimnessofcarriage；theruthlesseleganceofherequipment，whichincludesaverysmarthatwithadeadbirdinit，markapersonalitywhichisasformidableasitisexquisitelypretty。Sheisnotasiren，likeAnn：admirationcomestoherwithoutanycompulsionoreveninterestonherpart；besides，thereissomefuninAnn，butinthiswomannone，perhapsnomercyeither：ifanythingrestrainsher，itisintelligenceandpride，notcompassion。Hervoicemightbethevoiceofaschoolmistressaddressingaclassofgirlswhohaddisgracedthemselves，assheproceedswithcompletecomposureandsomedisgusttosaywhatshehascometosay。
　　VIOLET。IhaveonlylookedintotellMissRamsdenthatshewillfindherbirthdaypresenttome，thefilagreebracelet，inthehousekeeper’sroom。
　　TANNER。Docomein，Violet，andtalktoussensibly。
　　VIOLET。Thankyou：Ihavehadquiteenoughofthefamilyconversationthismorning。Sohasyourmother，Ann：shehasgonehomecrying。Butatallevents，Ihavefoundoutwhatsomeofmypretendedfriendsareworth。Goodbye。
　　TANNER。No，no：onemoment。IhavesomethingtosaywhichIbegyoutohear。[Shelooksathimwithouttheslightestcuriosity，butwaits，apparentlyasmuchtofinishgettinghergloveonastohearwhathehastosay]。Iamaltogetheronyoursideinthismatter。Icongratulateyou，withthesincerestrespect，onhavingthecouragetodowhatyouhavedone。Youareentirelyintheright；andthefamilyisentirelyinthewrong。
　　Sensation。AnnandMissRamsdenriseandturntowardthetwo。
　　Violet，moresurprisedthananyoftheothers，forgetsherglove，andcomesforwardintothemiddleoftheroom，bothpuzzledanddispleased。Qctaviusalonedoesnotmoveorraisehishead；heisoverwhelmedwithshame。
　　ANN。[pleadingtoTannertobesensible]Jack！
　　MISSRAMSDEN。[outraged}Well，Imustsay！
　　VIOLET。[sharplytoTanner]Whotoldyou？
　　TANNER。Why，RamsdenandTavyofcourse。Whyshouldtheynot？
　　VIOLET。Buttheydon’tknow。
　　TANNER。Don’tknowwhat？
　　VIOLET。Theydon’tknowthatIamintheright，Imean。
　　TANNER。Oh，theyknowitintheirhearts，thoughtheythinkthemselvesboundtoblameyoubytheirsillysuperstitionsaboutmoralityandproprietyandsoforth。ButIknow，andthewholeworldreallyknows，thoughitdarenotsayso，thatyouwererighttofollowyourinstinct；thatvitalityandbraveryarethegreatestqualitiesawomancanhave，andmotherhoodhersolemninitiationintowomanhood；andthatthefactofyournotbeinglegallymarriedmattersnotonescrapeithertoyourownworthortoourrealregardforyou。
　　VIOLET。[flushingwithindignation]Oh！Youthinkmeawickedwoman，liketherest。YouthinkIhavenotonlybeenvile，butthatIshareyourabominableopinions。MissRamsden：IhaveborneyourhardwordsbecauseIknewyouwouldbesorryforthemwhenyoufoundoutthetruth。ButIwon’tbearsuchahorribleinsultastobecomplimentedbyJackonbeingoneofthewretchesofwhomheapproves。Ihavekeptmymarriageasecretformyhusband’ssake。ButnowIclaimmyrightasamarriedwomannottobeinsulted。
　　OCTAVIUS。[raisinghisheadwithinexpressiblerelief]Youaremarried！
　　VIOLET。Yes；andIthinkyoumighthaveguessedit。WhatbusinesshadyoualltotakeitforgrantedthatIhadnorighttowearmyweddingring？Notoneofyouevenaskedme：Icannotforgetthat。
　　TANNER。[inruins]Iamutterlycrushed。Imeantwell——I
　　apologize——abjectlyapologize。
　　VIOLET。Ihopeyouwillbemorecarefulinfutureaboutthethingsyousay。Ofcourseonedoesnottakethemseriously。Buttheyareverydisagreeable，andratherinbadtaste。
　　TANNER。[bowingtothestorm]Ihavenodefence：Ishallknowbetterinfuturethantotakeanywoman’spart。Wehavealldisgracedourselvesinyoureyes，Iamafraid，exceptAnn，SHE
　　befriendedyou。ForAnn’ssake，forgiveus。
　　VIOLET。Yes：Annhasbeenverykind；butthenAnnknew。
　　TANNER。Oh！
　　MISSRAMSDEN。[stiffly]Andwho，pray，isthegentlemanwhodoesnotacknowledgehiswife？
　　VIOLET。[promptly]Thatismybusiness，MissRamsden，andnotyours。Ihavemyreasonsforkeepingmymarriageasecretforthepresent。
　　RAMSDEN。AllIcansayisthatweareextremelysorry，Violet。I
　　amshockedtothinkofhowwehavetreatedyou。
　　OCTAVIUS。[awkwardly]Ibegyourpardon，Violet。Icansaynomore。
　　MISSRAMSDEN。[stilllothtosurrender]Ofcoursewhatyousayputsaverydifferentcomplexiononthematter。Allthesame，I
　　oweittomyself——
　　VIOLET。[cuttinghershort]Youowemeanapology，MissRamsden：
　　that’swhatyouowebothtoyourselfandtome。Ifyouwereamarriedwomanyouwouldnotlikesittinginthehousekeeper’sroomandbeingtreatedlikeanaughtychildbyyounggirlsandoldladieswithoutanyseriousdutiesandresponsibilities。
　　TANNER。Don’thituswhenwe’redown，Violet。Weseemtohavemadefoolsofourselves；butreallyitwasyouwhomadefoolsofus。
　　VIOLET。Itwasnobusinessofyours，Jack，inanycase。
　　TANNER。Nobusinessofmine！Why，Ramsdenasgoodasaccusedmeofbeingtheunknowngentleman。
　　Ramsdenmakesafranticdemonstration；butViolet’scoolkeenangerextinguishesit。
　　VIOLET。You！Oh，howinfamous！howabominable！Howdisgracefullyyouhaveallbeentalkingaboutme！Ifmyhusbandknewithewouldneverletmespeaktoanyofyouagain。[ToRamsden]I
　　thinkyoumighthavesparedme，atleast。
　　RAMSDEN。ButIassureyouInever——atleastitisamonstrousperversionofsomethingIsaidthat——
　　MISSRAMSDEN。Youneedn’tapologize，Roebuck。Shebroughtitallonherself。Itisforhertoapologizeforhavingdeceivedus。
　　VIOLET。Icanmakeallowancesforyou，MissRamsden：youcannotunderstandhowIfeelonthissubjectthoughIshouldhaveexpectedratherbettertastefrompeopleofgreaterexperience。
　　However，Iquitefeelthatyouhaveallplacedyourselvesinaverypainfulposition；andthemosttrulyconsideratethingformetodoistogoatonce。Goodmorning。
　　Shegoes，leavingthemstaring。
　　MissRAMSDEN。Well，Imustsay——！
　　RAMSDEN。[plaintively]Idon’tthinksheisquitefairtous。
　　TANNER。Youmustcowerbeforetheweddingringliketherestofus，Ramsden。Thecupofourignominyisfull。
　　ActII
　　OnthecarriagedriveintheparkofacountryhousenearRichmondamotorcarhasbrokendown。Itstandsinfrontofaclumpoftreesroundwhichthedrivesweepstothehouse，whichispartlyvisiblethroughthem：indeedTanner，standinginthedrivewiththecaronhisrighthand，couldgetanunobstructedviewofthewestcornerofthehouseonhisleftwerehenotfartoomuchinterestedinapairofsupinelegsinbluesergetrouserswhichprotrudefrombeneaththemachine。Heiswatchingthemintentlywithbentbackandhandssupportedonhisknees。
　　Hisleathernovercoatandpeakedcapproclaimhimoneofthedismountedpassengers。
　　THELEGS。Aha！Igothim。
　　TANNER。Allrightnow？
　　THELEGS。Allrightnow。
　　Tannerstoopsandtakesthelegsbytheankles，drawingtheirownerforthlikeawheelbarrow，walkingonhishands，withahammerinhismouth。Heisayoungmaninaneatsuitofblueserge，cleanshaven，darkeyed，squarefingered，withshortwellbrushedblackhairandratherirregularscepticallyturnedeyebrows。Whenheismanipulatingthecarhismovementsareswiftandsudden，yetattentiveanddeliberate。WithTannerandTanner’sfriendshismannerisnotintheleastdeferential，butcoolandreticent，keepingthemquiteeffectuallyatadistancewhilstgivingthemnoexcuseforcomplainingofhim。Neverthelesshehasavigilanteyeonthemalways，andthat，too，rathercynically，likeamanwhoknowstheworldwellfromitsseamyside。Hespeaksslowlyandwithatouchofsarcasm；andashedoesnotatallaffectthegentlemaninhisspeech，itmaybeinferredthathissmartappearanceisamarkofrespecttohimselfandhisownclass，nottothatwhichemployshim。
　　Henowgetsintothecartotesthismachineryandputhiscapandovercoatonagain。Tannertakesoffhisleatherovercoatandpitchesitintothecar。Thechauffeur（orautomobilistormotoreerorwhateverEnglandmaypresentlydecidetocallhim）
　　looksroundinquiringlyintheactofstowingawayhishammer。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。Hadenoughofit，eh？
　　TANNER。Imayaswellwalktothehouseandstretchmylegsandcalmmynervesalittle。[Lookingathiswatch]IsupposeyouknowthatwehavecomefromHydeParkCornertoRichmondintwenty—oneminutes。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。I’dhavedoneitunderfifteenifI’dhadaclearroadalltheway。
　　TANNER。Whydoyoudoit？Isitforloveofsportorforthefunofterrifyingyourunfortunateemployer？
　　THECHAUFFEUR。Whatareyouafraidof？
　　TANNER。Thepolice，andbreakingmyneck。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。Well，ifyoulikeeasygoing，youcantakeabus，youknow。It’scheaper。Youpaymetosaveyourtimeandgiveyouthevalueofyourthousandpoundcar。[Hesitsdowncalmly]。
　　TANNER。Iamtheslaveofthatcarandofyoutoo。Idreamoftheaccursedthingatnight。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。You’llgetoverthat。Ifyou’regoinguptothehouse，mayIaskhowlongyou’regointostaythere？Becauseifyoumeantoputinthewholemorningtalkintotheladies，I’11
　　putthecarinthestablesandmakemyselfcomfortable。Ifnot，I’llkeepthecaronthegoaboutheretilyoucome。
　　TANNER。Betterwaithere。Weshan’tbelong。There’sayoungAmericangentleman，aMrMalone，whoisdrivingMrRobinsondowninhisnewAmericansteamcar。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。[springingupandcominghastilyoutofthecartoTanner]Americansteamcar！Wot！racinusdownfromLondon！
　　TANNER。Perhapsthey’reherealready。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。IfI’dknownit！[withdeepreproach]Whydidn’tyoutellme，MrTanner？
　　TANNER。BecauseI’vebeentoldthatthiscariscapableof84
　　milesanhour；andIalreadyknowwhatYOUarecapableofwhenthereisarivalcarontheroad。No，Henry：therearethingsitisnotgoodforyoutoknow；andthiswasoneofthem。However，cheerup：wearegoingtohaveadayafteryourownheart。TheAmericanistotakeMrRobinsonandhissisterandMissWhitefield。WearetotakeMissRhoda。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。[consoled，andmusingonanothermatter]That’sMissWhitefield’ssister，isn’tit？
　　TANNER。Yes。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。AndMissWhitefieldherselfisgoinintheothercar？Notwithyou？
　　TANNER。Whythedevilshouldshecomewithme？MrRobinsonwillbeintheothercar。[TheChauffeurlooksatTannerwithcoolincredulity，andturnstothecar，whistlingapopularairsoftlytohimself。Tanner，alittleannoyed，isabouttopursuethesubjectwhenhehearsthefootstepsofOctaviusonthegravel。
　　Octaviusiscomingfromthehouse，dressedformotoring，butwithouthisovercoat]。We’velosttherace，thankHeaven：here’sMrRobinson。Well，Tavy，isthesteamcarasuccess？
　　OCTAVIUS。Ithinkso。WecamefromHydeParkCornerhereinseventeenminutes。[TheChauffeur，furious，kicksthecarwithagroanofvexation]。Howlongwereyou？
　　TANNER。Oh，aboutthreequartersofanhourorso。
　　THECHAUFFEUR。[remonstrating]Now，now，MrTanner，comenow！Wecouldhadoneiteasyunderfifteen。
　　TANNER。Bytheway，letmeintroduceyou。MrOctaviusRobinson：
　　MrEnryStraker。
　　STRAKER。Pleasedtomeetyou，sir。MrTannerisgittinatyouwithhisEnryStraker，youknow。YoucallitHenery。ButIdon’tmind，blessyou。
　　TANNER。Youthinkit’ssimplybadtasteinmetochaffhim，Tavy。
　　Butyou’rewrong。Thismantakesmoretroubletodrophisaichesthaneverhisfatherdidtopickthemup。It’samarkofcastetohim。IhavenevermetanybodymoreswollenwiththeprideofclassthanEnryis。
　　STRAKER。Easy，easy！Alittlemoderation，MrTanner。
　　TANNER。Alittlemoderation，Tavy，youobserve。Youwouldtellmetodrawitmild，Butthischaphasbeeneducated。What’smore，heknowsthatwehaven’t。Whatwasthatboardschoolofyours，Straker？
　　STRAKER。SherbrookeRoad。
　　TANNER。SherbrookeRoad！WouldanyofussayRugby！Harrow！Eton！
　　inthattoneofintellectualsnobbery？SherbrookeRoadisaplacewhereboyslearnsomething；Etonisaboyfarmwherewearesentbecausewearenuisancesathome，andbecauseinafterlife，wheneveraDukeismentioned，wecanclaimhimasanoldschoolfellow。
　　STRAKER。Youdon’tknownothingaboutit，Mr。Tanner。It’snottheBoardSchoolthatdoesit：it’sthePolytechnic。
　　TANNER。Hisuniversity，Octavius。NotOxford，Cambridge，Durham，DublinorGlasgow。NoteventhoseNonconformistholesinWales。
　　No，Tavy。RegentStreet，Chelsea，theBorough——Idon’tknowhalftheirconfoundednames：thesearehisuniversities，notmereshopsforsellingclasslimitationslikeours。YoudespiseOxford，Enry，don’tyou？
　　STRAKER。No，Idon’t。Verynicesortofplace，Oxford，Ishouldthink，forpeoplethatlikethatsortofplace。Theyteachyoutobeagentlemanthere。InthePolytechnictheyteachyoutobeanengineerorsuchlike。See？
　　TANNER。Sarcasm，Tavy，sarcasm！Oh，ifyoucouldonlyseeintoEnry’ssoul，thedepthofhiscontemptforagentleman，thearroganceofhisprideinbeinganengineer，wouldappalyou。Hepositivelylikesthecartobreakdownbecauseitbringsoutmygentlemanlyhelplessnessandhisworkmanlikeskillandresource。
　　STRAKER。Neveryoumindhim，MrRobinson。Helikestotalk。Weknowhim，don’twe？
　　OCTAVIUS。[earnestly]Butthere’sagreattruthatthebottomofwhathesays。Ibelievemostintenselyinthedignityoflabor。
　　STRAKER。[unimpressed]That’sbecauseyouneverdoneanyMrRobinson。Mybusinessistodoawaywithlabor。You’llgetmoreoutofmeandamachinethanyouwilloutoftwentylaborers，andnotsomuchtodrinkeither。
　　TANNER。ForHeaven’ssake，Tavy，don’tstarthimonpoliticaleconomy。Heknowsallaboutit；andwedon’t。You’reonlyapoeticSocialist，Tavy：he’sascientificone。
　　STRAKER。[unperturbed]Yes。Well，thisconversationisveryimprovin；butI’vegottolookafterthecar；andyoutwowanttotalkaboutyourladies。Iknow。[Heretirestobusyhimselfaboutthecar；andpresentlysauntersofftowardsthehouse]。
　　TANNER。That’saverymomentoussocialphenomenon。
　　OCTAVIUS。Whatis？
　　TANNER。Strakeris。HerehaveweliteraryandculturedpersonsbeenforyearssettingupacryoftheNewWomanwheneversomeunusuallyoldfashionedfemalecamealong；andnevernoticingtheadventoftheNewMan。Straker’stheNewMan。
　　OOCTAVIUS。Iseenothingnewabouthim，exceptyourwayofchaffinghim。ButIdon’twanttotalkabouthimjustnow。IwanttospeaktoyouaboutAnn。
　　TANNER。Strakerkneweventhat。HelearntitatthePolytechnic，probably。Well，whataboutAnn？Haveyouproposedtoher？
　　OCTAVIUS。[self—reproachfully]Iwasbruteenoughtodosolastnight。
　　TANNER。Bruteenough！Whatdoyoumean？
　　OCTAVIUS。[dithyrambically]Jack：wemenareallcoarse。Weneverunderstandhowexquisiteawoman’ssensibilitiesare。HowcouldI
　　havedonesuchathing！
　　TANNER。Donewhat，youmaudlinidiot？
　　OCTAVIUS。Yes，Iamanidiot。Jack：ifyouhadheardhervoice！
　　ifyouhadseenhertears！Ihavelainawakeallnightthinkingofthem。Ifshehadreproachedme，Icouldhaveborneitbetter。
　　TANNER。Tears！that’sdangerous。Whatdidshesay？
　　OCTAVIUS。Sheaskedmehowshecouldthinkofanythingnowbutherdearfather。Shestifledasob——[hebreaksdown]。
　　TANNER。[pattinghimontheback]Bearitlikeaman，Tavy，evenifyoufeelitlikeanass。It’stheoldgame：she’snottiredofplayingwithyouyet。
　　OCTAVIUS。[impatiently]Oh，don’tbeafool，Jack。Doyousupposethiseternalshallowcynicismofyourshasanyrealbearingonanaturelikehers？
　　TANNER。Hm！Didshesayanythingelse？
　　OCTAVIUS。Yes；andthatiswhyIexposemyselfandhertoyourridiculebytellingyouwhatpassed。
　　TANNER。[remorsefully]No，dearTavy，notridicule，onmyhonor！
　　However，nomatter。Goon。
　　OCTAVIUS。Hersenseofdutyissodevout，soperfect，so——
　　TANNER。Yes：Iknow。Goon。
　　OCTAVIUS。Yousee，underthisnewarrangement，youandRamsdenareherguardians；andsheconsidersthatallherdutytoherfatherisnowtransferredtoyou。ShesaidshethoughtIoughttohavespokentoyoubothinthefirstinstance。Ofcoursesheisright；butsomehowitseemsratherabsurdthatIamtocometoyouandformallyasktobereceivedasasuitorforyourward’shand。
　　TANNER。Iamgladthatlovehasnottotallyextinguishedyoursenseofhumor，Tavy。
　　OCTAVIUS。Thatanswerwon’tsatisfyher。
　　TANNER。Myofficialansweris，obviously，Blessyou，mychildren：
　　mayyoubehappy！
　　OCTAVIUS。Iwishyouwouldstopplayingthefoolaboutthis。Ifitisnotserioustoyou，itistome，andtoher。
　　TANNER。Youknowverywellthatsheisasfreetochooseasyou。
　　Shedoesnotthinkso。
　　TANNER。Oh，doesn’tshe！just！However，saywhatyouwantmetodo。
　　OCTAVIUS。Iwantyoutotellhersincerelyandearnestlywhatyouthinkaboutme。Iwantyoutotellherthatyoucantrusthertome——thatis，ifyoufeelyoucan。
　　TANNER。IhavenodoubtthatIcantrusthertoyou。Whatworriesmeistheideaoftrustingyoutoher。HaveyoureadMaeterlinck’sbookaboutthebee？
　　OCTAVIUS。[keepinghistemperwithdifficulty]Iamnotdiscussingliteratureatpresent。
　　TANNER。Bejustalittlepatientwithme。Iamnotdiscussingliterature：thebookaboutthebeeisnaturalhistory。It’sanawfullessontomankind。YouthinkthatyouareAnn’ssuitor；
　　thatyouarethepursuerandshethepursued；thatitisyourparttowoo，topersuade，toprevail，toovercome。Fool：itisyouwhoarethepursued，themarkeddownquarry，thedestinedprey。Youneednotsitlookinglonginglyatthebaitthroughthewiresofthetrap：thedoorisopen，andwillremainsountilitshutsbehindyouforever。
　　OCTAVIUS。IwishIcouldbelievethat，vilelyasyouputit。
　　TANNER。Why，man，whatotherworkhassheinlifebuttogetahusband？Itisawoman’sbusinesstogetmarriedassoonaspossible，andaman’stokeepunmarriedaslongashecan。Youhaveyourpoemsandyourtragediestoworkat：Annhasnothing。
　　OCTAVIUS。Icannotwritewithoutinspiration。AndnobodycangivemethatexceptAnn。
　　TANNER。Well，hadn’tyoubettergetitfromheratasafedistance？Petrarchdidn’tseehalfasmuchofLaura，norDanteofBeatrice，asyouseeofAnnnow；andyettheywrotefirst—ratepoetry——atleastsoI’mtold。Theyneverexposedtheiridolatrytothetestofdomesticfamiliarity；anditlastedthemtotheirgraves。MarryAnnandattheendofaweekyou’llfindnomoreinspirationthaninaplateofmuffins。
　　OCTAVIUS。YouthinkIshalltireofher。
　　TANNER。Notatall：youdon’tgettiredofmuffins。Butyoudon’tfindinspirationinthem；andyouwon’tinherwhensheceasestobeapoet’sdreamandbecomesasolidelevenstonewife。You’llbeforcedtodreamaboutsomebodyelse；andthentherewillbearow。
　　OCTAVIUS。Thissortoftalkisnouse，Jack。Youdon’tunderstand。Youhaveneverbeeninlove。