首页 >出版文学> Camille>第2章

第2章

  Iaskedhimtoshowmethegrave,forthereisnofindingone'swaywithoutaguideinthiscityofthedead,whichhasitsstreetslikeacityoftheliving。Thekeepercalledoveragardener,towhomhegavethenecessaryinstructions;thegardenerinterruptedhim,saying:"Iknow,Iknow。——Itisnotdifficulttofindthatgrave,"headded,turningtome。
  "Why?"
  "Becauseithasverydifferentflowersfromtheothers。"
  "Isityouwholookafterit?"
  "Yes,sir;andIwishallrelationstookasmuchtroubleaboutthedeadastheyoungmanwhogavememyorders。"
  Afterseveralturnings,thegardenerstoppedandsaidtome:
  "Hereweare。"
  Isawbeforemeasquareofflowerswhichonewouldneverhavetakenforagrave,ifithadnotbeenforawhitemarbleslabbearinganame。
  Themarbleslabstoodupright,anironrailingmarkedthelimitsofthegroundpurchased,andtheearthwascoveredwithwhitecamellias。"Whatdoyousaytothat?"saidthegardener。
  "Itisbeautiful。"
  "Andwheneveracamelliafades,Ihaveorderstoreplaceit。"
  "Whogaveyoutheorder?"
  "Ayounggentleman,whocriedthefirsttimehecamehere;anoldpalofhers,Isuppose,fortheysayshewasagayone。Verypretty,too,Ibelieve。Didyouknowher,sir?""Yes。"
  "Liketheother?"saidthegardener,withaknowingsmile。"No,I
  neverspoketoher。"
  "Andyoucomehere,too!Itisverygoodofyou,forthosethatcometoseethepoorgirldon'texactlycumberthecemetery。"
  "Doesn'tanybodycome?"
  "Nobody,exceptthatyounggentlemanwhocameonce。"
  "Onlyonce?"
  "Yes,sir。"
  "Henevercamebackagain?"
  "No,buthewillwhenhegetshome。"
  "Heisawaysomewhere?"
  "Yes。"
  "Doyouknowwhereheis?"
  "IbelievehehasgonetoseeMlle。Gautier'ssister。"
  "Whatdoeshewantthere?"
  "Hehasgonetogetherauthoritytohavethecorpsedugupagainandputsomewhereelse。"
  "Whywon'theletitremainhere?"
  "Youknow,sir,peoplehavequeernotionsaboutdeadfolk。Weseesomethingofthateveryday。Thegroundherewasonlyboughtforfiveyears,andthisyounggentlemanwantsaperpetualleaseandabiggerplotofground;itwillbebetterinthenewpart。"
  "Whatdoyoucallthenewpart?"
  "Thenewplotsofgroundthatareforsale,theretotheleft。Ifthecemeteryhadalwaysbeenkeptlikeitisnow,therewouldn'tbethelikeofitintheworld;butthereisstillplentytodobeforeitwillbequiteallitshouldbe。Andthenpeoplearesoqueer!"
  "Whatdoyoumean?"
  "Imeanthattherearepeoplewhocarrytheirprideevenhere。
  Now,thisDemoiselleGautier,itappearsshelivedabitfree,ifyou'llexcusemysayingso。Poorlady,she'sdeadnow;there'snomoreofherleftthanofthemthatnoonehasawordtosayagainst。Wewaterthemeveryday。Well,whentherelativesofthefolkthatareburiedbesideherfoundoutthesortofpersonshewas,whatdoyouthinktheysaid?Thattheywouldtrytokeepheroutfromhere,andthatthereoughttobeapieceofgroundsomewhereapartforthesesortofwomen,likethereisforthepoor。Didyoueverhearofsuchathing?Igaveittothemstraight,Idid:well-to-dofolkwhocometoseetheirdeadfourtimesayear,andbringtheirflowersthemselves,andwhatflowers!andlooktwiceatthekeepofthemtheypretendtocryover,andwriteontheirtombstonesallaboutthetearstheyhaven'tshed,andcomeandmakedifficultiesabouttheirneighbours。Youmaybelievemeornot,sir,Ineverknewtheyounglady;Idon'tknowwhatshedid。Well,I'mquiteinlovewiththepoorthing;Ilookafterherwell,andIletherhavehercamelliasatanhonestprice。SheisthedeadbodythatI
  likethebest。Yousee,sir,weareobligedtolovethedead,forwearekeptsobusy,wehavehardlytimetoloveanythingelse。"
  Ilookedattheman,andsomeofmyreaderswillunderstand,withoutmyneedingtoexplainittothem,theemotionwhichI
  feltonhearinghim。Heobservedit,nodoubt,forhewenton:
  "Theytellmetherewerepeoplewhoruinedthemselvesoverthatgirl,andloversthatworshippedher;well,whenIthinkthereisn'toneofthemthatsomuchasbuysheraflowernow,that'squeer,sir,andsad。And,afterall,sheisn'tsobadlyoff,forshehashergravetoherself,andifthereisonlyonewhoremembersher,hemakesupfortheothers。Butwehaveotherpoorgirlshere,justlikeherandjustherage,andtheyarejustthrownintoapauper'sgrave,anditbreaksmyheartwhenIheartheirpoorbodiesdropintotheearth。Andnotasoulthinksaboutthemanymore,oncetheyaredead!'Tisn'tamerrytrade,ours,especiallywhenwehavealittleheartleft。Whatdoyouexpect?Ican'thelpit。Ihaveafine,strappinggirlmyself;
  she'sjusttwenty,andwhenagirlofthatagecomeshereIthinkofher,andIdon'tcareifit'sagreatladyoravagabond,I
  can'thelpfeelingitabit。ButIamtakingupyourtime,sir,withmytales,anditwasn'ttohearthemyoucamehere。IwastoldtoshowyouMlle。Gautier'sgrave;hereyouhaveit。IsthereanythingelseIcandoforyou?"
  "DoyouknowM。ArmandDuval'saddress?"Iasked。
  "Yes;helivesatRuede——;atleast,that'swhereIalwaysgotogetmymoneyfortheflowersyouseethere。"
  "Thanks,mygoodman。"
  Igaveonemorelookatthegravecoveredwithflowers,halflongingtopenetratethedepthsoftheearthandseewhattheearthhadmadeofthefaircreaturethathadbeencasttoit;
  thenIwalkedsadlyaway。
  "DoyouwanttoseeM。Duval,sir?"saidthegardener,whowaswalkingbesideme。
  "Yes。"
  "Well,Iamprettysureheisnotbackyet,orhewouldhavebeenherealready。"
  "Youdon'tthinkhehasforgottenMarguerite?"
  "Iamnotonlysurehehasn't,butIwouldwagerthathewantstochangehergravesimplyinordertohaveonemorelookather。"
  "Whydoyouthinkthat?"
  "Thefirstwordhesaidtomewhenhecametothecemeterywas:
  'HowcanIseeheragain?'Thatcan'tbedoneunlessthereisachangeofgrave,andItoldhimallabouttheformalitiesthathavetobeattendedtoingettingitdone;for,yousee,ifyouwanttomoveabodyfromonegravetoanotheryoumusthaveitidentified,andonlythefamilycangiveleaveforitunderthedirectionofapoliceinspector。ThatiswhyM。DuvalhasgonetoseeMlle。Gautier'ssister,andyoumaybesurehisfirstvisitwillbeforme。"
  Wehadcometothecemeterygate。Ithankedthegardeneragain,puttingafewcoinsintohishand,andmademywaytotheaddresshehadgivenme。
  Armandhadnotyetreturned。Ileftwordforhim,begginghimtocomeandseemeassoonashearrived,ortosendmewordwhereI
  couldfindhim。
  Nextday,inthemorning,IreceivedaletterfromDuval,tellingmeofhisreturn,andaskingmetocallonhim,ashewassowornoutwithfatiguethatitwasimpossibleforhimtogoout。
  Chapter6
  IfoundArmandinbed。Onseeingmeheheldoutaburninghand。
  "Youarefeverish,"Isaidtohim。"Itisnothing,thefatigueofarapidjourney;thatisall。""YouhavebeentoseeMarguerite'ssister?""Yes;whotoldyou?""Iknewit。Didyougetwhatyouwanted?"
  "Yes;butwhotoldyouofmyjourney,andofmyreasonfortakingit?"
  "Thegardenerofthecemetery。"
  "Youhaveseenthetomb?"
  Iscarcelydaredreply,forthetoneinwhichthewordswerespokenprovedtomethatthespeakerwasstillpossessedbytheemotionwhichIhadwitnessedbefore,andthateverytimehisthoughtsorspeechtravelledbacktothatmournfulsubjectemotionwouldstill,foralongtimetocome,provestrongerthanhiswill。Icontentedmyselfwithanodofthehead。
  "Hehaslookedafteritwell?"continuedArmand。Twobigtearsrolleddownthecheeksofthesickman,andheturnedawayhisheadtohidethemfromme。Ipretendednottoseethem,andtriedtochangetheconversation。"Youhavebeenawaythreeweeks,"I
  said。
  Armandpassedhishandacrosshiseyesandreplied,"Exactlythreeweeks。"
  "Youhadalongjourney。"
  "Oh,Iwasnottravellingallthetime。IwasillforafortnightorIshouldhavereturnedlongago;butIhadscarcelygottherewhenItookthisfever,andIwasobligedtokeepmyroom。"
  "Andyoustartedtocomebackbeforeyouwerereallywell?"
  "IfIhadremainedintheplaceforanotherweek,Ishouldhavediedthere。"
  "Well,nowyouarebackagain,youmusttakecareofyourself;
  yourfriendswillcomeandlookafteryou;myself,firstofall,ifyouwillallowme。"
  "Ishallgetupinacoupleofhours。"
  "Itwouldbeveryunwise。"
  "Imust。"
  "Whathaveyoutodoinsuchagreathurry?"
  "Imustgototheinspectorofpolice。"
  "Whydoyounotgetoneofyourfriendstoseeafterthematter?
  Itislikelytomakeyouworsethanyouarenow。"
  "Itismyonlychanceofgettingbetter。Imustseeher。EversinceIheardofherdeath,especiallysinceIsawhergrave,I
  havenotbeenabletosleep。Icannotrealizethatthiswoman,soyoungandsobeautifulwhenIlefther,isreallydead。Imustconvincemyselfofit。ImustseewhatGodhasdonewithabeingthatIhavelovedsomuch,andperhapsthehorrorofthesightwillcuremeofmydespair。Willyouaccompanyme,ifitwon'tbetroublingyoutoomuch?"
  "Whatdidhersistersayaboutit?"
  "Nothing。SheseemedgreatlysurprisedthatastrangerwantedtobuyaplotofgroundandgiveMargueriteanewgrave,andsheimmediatelysignedtheauthorizationthatIaskedherfor。"
  "Believeme,itwouldbebettertowaituntilyouarequitewell。"
  "Havenofear;Ishallbequitecomposed。Besides,IshouldsimplygooutofmymindifIwerenottocarryoutaresolutionwhichIhavesetmyselftocarryout。IsweartoyouthatIshallneverbemyselfagainuntilIhaveseenMarguerite。Itisperhapsthethirstofthefever,asleeplessnight'sdream,amoment'sdelirium;butthoughIweretobecomeaTrappist,likeM。deRance',afterhavingseen,Iwillsee。"
  "Iunderstand,"IsaidtoArmand,"andIamatyourservice。HaveyouseenJulieDuprat?"
  "Yes,IsawherthedayIreturned,forthefirsttime。"
  "DidshegiveyouthepapersthatMargueritehadleftforyou?"
  Armanddrewarollofpapersfromunderhispillow,andimmediatelyputthemback。
  "Iknowallthatisinthesepapersbyheart,"hesaid。"ForthreeweeksIhavereadthemtentimesovereveryday。Youshallreadthem,too,butlateron,whenIamcalmer,andcanmakeyouunderstandalltheloveandtendernesshiddenawayinthisconfession。ForthemomentIwantyoutodomeaservice。"
  "Whatisit?"
  "Yourcabisbelow?"
  "Yes。
  "Well,willyoutakemypassportandaskifthereareanylettersformeattheposterestante?MyfatherandsistermusthavewrittentomeatParis,andIwentawayinsuchhastethatIdidnotgoandseebeforeleaving。Whenyoucomebackwewillgotogethertotheinspectorofpolice,andarrangeforto-morrow'sceremony。"
  Armandhandedmehispassport,andIwenttoRueJeanJacquesRousseau。ThereweretwolettersaddressedtoDuval。Itookthemandreturned。WhenIre-enteredtheroomArmandwasdressedandreadytogoout。
  "Thanks,"hesaid,takingtheletters。"Yes,"headded,afterglancingattheaddresses,"theyarefrommyfatherandsister。
  Theymusthavebeenquiteatalosstounderstandmysilence。"
  Heopenedtheletters,guessedatratherthanreadthem,foreachwasoffourpages;andamomentafterfoldedthemup。"Come,"hesaid,"Iwillanswertomorrow。"
  Wewenttothepolicestation,andArmandhandedinthepermissionsignedbyMarguerite'ssister。Hereceivedinreturnalettertothekeeperofthecemetery,anditwassettledthatthedisintermentwastotakeplacenextday,atteno'clock,thatI
  shouldcallforhimanhourbefore,andthatweshouldgotothecemeterytogether。
  IconfessthatIwascurioustobepresent,andIdidnotsleepallnight。judgingfromthethoughtswhichfilledmybrain,itmusthavebeenalongnightforArmand。WhenIenteredhisroomatnineonthefollowingmorninghewasfrightfullypale,butseemedcalm。Hesmiledandheldouthishand。Hiscandleswereburnedout;andbeforeleavinghetookaveryheavyletteraddressedtohisfather,andnodoubtcontaininganaccountofthatnight'simpressions。
  HalfanhourlaterwewereatMontmartre。Thepoliceinspectorwastherealready。WewalkedslowlyinthedirectionofMarguerite'sgrave。Theinspectorwentinfront;ArmandandI
  followedafewstepsbehind。
  FromtimetotimeIfeltmycompanion'sarmtrembleconvulsively,asifheshiveredfromheadtofeet。Ilookedathim。Heunderstoodthelook,andsmiledatme;wehadnotexchangedawordsinceleavingthehouse。
  Justbeforewereachedthegrave,Armandstoppedtowipehisface,whichwascoveredwithgreatdropsofsweat。Itookadvantageofthepausetodrawinalongbreath,forI,too,feltasifIhadaweightonmychest。
  Whatistheoriginofthatmournfulpleasurewhichwefindinsightsofthiskind?Whenwereachedthegravethegardenerhadremovedalltheflower-pots,theironrailinghadbeentakenaway,andtwomenwereturningupthesoil。
  Armandleanedagainstatreeandwatched。Allhislifeseemedtopassbeforehiseyes。Suddenlyoneofthetwopickaxesstruckagainstastone。AtthesoundArmandrecoiled,asatanelectricshock,andseizedmyhandwithsuchforceastogivemepain。
  Oneofthegrave-diggerstookashovelandbeganemptyingouttheearth;then,whenonlythestonescoveringthecoffinwereleft,hethrewthemoutonebyone。
  IscrutinizedArmand,foreverymomentIwasafraidlesttheemotionswhichhewasvisiblyrepressingshouldprovetoomuchforhim;buthestillwatched,hiseyesfixedandwideopen,liketheeyesofamadman,andaslighttremblingofthecheeksandlipsweretheonlysignsoftheviolentnervouscrisisunderwhichhewassuffering。
  Asforme,allIcansayisthatIregrettedhavingcome。
  Whenthecoffinwasuncoveredtheinspectorsaidtothegrave-digger:"Openit。"Theyobeyed,asifitwerethemostnaturalthingintheworld。
  Thecoffinwasofoak,andtheybegantounscrewthelid。Thehumidityoftheearthhadrustedthescrews,anditwasnotwithoutsomedifficultythatthecoffinwasopened。Apainfulodouraroseinspiteofthearomaticplantswithwhichitwascovered。
  "OmyGod,myGod!"murmuredArmand,andturnedpalerthanbefore。
  Eventhegrave-diggerdrewback。
  Agreatwhiteshroudcoveredthecorpse,closelyoutliningsomeofitscontours。Thisshroudwasalmostcompletelyeatenawayatoneend,andleftoneofthefeetvisible。
  Iwasnearlyfainting,andatthemomentofwritingtheselinesI
  seethewholesceneoveragaininallitsimposingreality。
  "Quick,"saidtheinspector。Thereupononeofthemenputouthishand,begantounsewtheshroud,andtakingholdofitbyoneendsuddenlylaidbarethefaceofMarguerite。
  Itwasterribletosee,itishorribletorelate。Theeyeswerenothingbuttwoholes,thelipshaddisappeared,vanished,andthewhiteteethweretightlyset。Theblackhair,longanddry,waspressedtightlyabouttheforehead,andhalfveiledthegreenhollowsofthecheeks;andyetIrecognisedinthisfacethejoyouswhiteandrosefacethatIhadseensooften。
  Armand,unabletoturnawayhiseyes,hadputthehandkerchieftohismouthandbitit。
  Formypart,itwasasifacircleofirontightenedaboutmyhead,aveilcoveredmyeyes,arumblingfilledmyears,andallIcoulddowastounstopasmellingbottlewhichIhappenedtohavewithme,andtodrawinlongbreathsofit。
  ThroughthisbewildermentIheardtheinspectorsaytoDuval,"Doyouidentify?"
  "Yes,"repliedtheyoungmaninadullvoice。
  "Thenfastenitupandtakeitaway,"saidtheinspector。
  Thegrave-diggersputbacktheshroudoverthefaceofthecorpse,fastenedupthecoffin,tookholdofeachendofit,andbegantocarryittowardtheplacewheretheyhadbeentoldtotakeit。
  Armanddidnotmove。Hiseyeswerefixedupontheemptygrave;hewasaswhiteasthecorpsewhichwehadjustseen。Helookedasifhehadbeenturnedtostone。
  Isawwhatwascomingassoonasthepaincausedbythespectacleshouldhaveabatedandthusceasedtosustainhim。Iwentuptotheinspector。"Isthisgentleman'spresencestillnecessary?"I
  said,pointingtoArmand。
  "No,"hereplied,"andIshouldadviseyoutotakehimaway。Helooksill。"
  "Come,"IsaidtoArmand,takinghimbythearm。
  "What?"hesaid,lookingatmeasifhedidnotrecogniseme。
  "Itisallover,"Iadded。"Youmustcome,myfriend;youarequitewhite;youarecold。Theseemotionswillbetoomuchforyou。"
  "Youareright。Letusgo,"heansweredmechanically,butwithoutmovingastep。
  Itookhimbythearmandledhimalong。Helethimselfbeguidedlikeachild,onlyfromtimetotimemurmuring,"Didyouseehereyes?"andheturnedasifthevisionhadrecalledher。
  Nevertheless,hisstepsbecamemoreirregular;heseemedtowalkbyaseriesofjerks;histeethchattered;hishandswerecold;aviolentagitationranthroughhisbody。Ispoketohim;hedidnotanswer。Hewasjustabletolethimselfbeledalong。Acabwaswaitingatthegate。Itwasonlyjustintime。Scarcelyhadheseatedhimself,whentheshiveringbecamemoreviolent,andhehadanactualattackofnerves,inthemidstofwhichhisfearoffrighteningmemadehimpressmyhandandwhisper:"Itisnothing,nothing。Iwanttoweep。"
  Hischestlaboured,hiseyeswereinjectedwithblood,butnotearscame。ImadehimsmellthesaltswhichIhadwithme,andwhenwereachedhishouseonlytheshiveringremained。
  WiththehelpofhisservantIputhimtobed,litabigfireinhisroom,andhurriedofftomydoctor,towhomItoldallthathadhappened。Hehastenedwithme。
  Armandwasflushedanddelirious;hestammeredoutdisconnectedwords,inwhichonlythenameofMargueritecouldbedistinctlyheard。
  "Well?"Isaidtothedoctorwhenhehadexaminedthepatient。
  "Well,hehasneithermorenorlessthanbrainfever,andveryluckyitisforhim,forIfirmlybelieve(Godforgiveme!)thathewouldhavegoneoutofhismind。Fortunately,thephysicalmaladywillkillthementalone,andinamonth'stimehewillbefreefromtheoneandperhapsfromtheother。"
  Chapter7
  IllnesseslikeArmand'shaveonefortunatethingaboutthem:theyeitherkilloutrightorareverysoonovercome。AfortnightaftertheeventswhichIhavejustrelatedArmandwasconvalescent,andwehadalreadybecomegreatfriends。DuringthewholecourseofhisillnessIhadhardlylefthisside。
  Springwasprofuseinitsflowers,itsleaves,itsbirds,itssongs;andmyfriend'swindowopenedgailyuponhisgarden,fromwhicharevivingbreathofhealthseemedtocometohim。Thedoctorhadallowedhimtogetup,andweoftensattalkingattheopenwindow,atthehourwhenthesunisatitsheight,fromtwelvetotwo。IwascarefulnottorefertoMarguerite,fearinglestthenameshouldawakensadrecollectionshiddenundertheapparentcalmoftheinvalid;butArmand,onthecontrary,seemedtodelightinspeakingofher,notasformerly,withtearsinhiseyes,butwithasweetsmilewhichreassuredmeastothestateofhismind。
  Ihadnoticedthateversincehislastvisittothecemetery,andthesightwhichhadbroughtonsoviolentacrisis,sorrowseemedtohavebeenovercomebysickness,andMarguerite'sdeathnolongerappearedtohimunderitsformeraspect。Akindofconsolationhadsprungfromthecertaintyofwhichhewasnowfullypersuaded,andinordertobanishthesombrepicturewhichoftenpresenteditselftohim,hereturneduponthehappyrecollectionsofhisliaisonwithMarguerite,andseemedresolvedtothinkofnothingelse。
  Thebodywastoomuchweakenedbytheattackoffever,andevenbytheprocessofitscure,topermithimanyviolentemotions,andtheuniversaljoyofspringwhichwrappedhimroundcarriedhisthoughtsinstinctivelytoimagesofjoy。Hehadalwaysobstinatelyrefusedtotellhisfamilyofthedangerwhichhehadbeenin,andwhenhewaswellagainhisfatherdidnotevenknowthathehadbeenill。
  Oneeveningwehadsatatthewindowlaterthanusual;theweatherhadbeensuperb,andthesunsanktosleepinatwilightdazzlingwithgoldandazure。ThoughwewereinParis,theverdurewhichsurroundedusseemedtoshutusofffromtheworld,andourconversationwasonlynowandagaindisturbedbythesoundofapassingvehicle。
  "Itwasaboutthistimeoftheyear,ontheeveningofadaylikethis,thatIfirstmetMarguerite,"saidArmandtome,asifhewerelisteningtohisownthoughtsratherthantowhatIwassaying。Ididnotanswer。Thenturningtowardme,hesaid:
  "Imusttellyouthewholestory;youwillmakeabookoutofit;
  noonewillbelieveit,butitwillperhapsbeinterestingtodo。"
  "Youwilltellmeallaboutitlateron,myfriend,"Isaidtohim;"youarenotstrongenoughyet。"
  "Itisawarmevening,Ihaveeatenmyrationofchicken,"hesaidtome,smiling;"Ihavenofever,wehavenothingtodo,I
  willtellittoyounow。"
  "Sinceyoureallywishit,Iwilllisten。"
  Thisiswhathetoldme,andIhavescarcelychangedawordofthetouchingstory。
  Yes(Armandwenton,lettinghisheadsinkbackonthechair),yes,itwasjustsuchaneveningasthis。Ihadspentthedayinthecountrywithoneofmyfriends,GastonR——。WereturnedtoParisintheevening,andnotknowingwhattodowewenttotheVarietes。Wewentoutduringoneoftheentr'actes,andatallwomanpassedusinthecorridor,towhommyfriendbowed。
  "Whomareyoubowingto?"Iasked。
  "MargueriteGautier,"hesaid。
  "Sheseemsmuchchanged,forIdidnotrecogniseher,"Isaid,withanemotionthatyouwillsoonunderstand。
  "Shehasbeenill;thepoorgirlwon'tlastlong。"
  Irememberthewordsasiftheyhadbeenspokentomeyesterday。
  Imusttellyou,myfriend,thatfortwoyearsthesightofthisgirlhadmadeastrangeimpressiononmewheneverIcameacrossher。Withoutknowingwhy,Iturnedpaleandmyheartbeatviolently。Ihaveafriendwhostudiestheoccultsciences,andhewouldcallwhatIexperienced"theaffinityoffluids";asforme,IonlyknowthatIwasfatedtofallinlovewithMarguerite,andthatIforesawit。
  Itiscertainlythefactthatshemadeaverydefiniteimpressionuponme,thatmanyofmyfriendshadnoticeditandthattheyhadbeenmuchamusedwhentheysawwhoitwasthatmadethisimpressionuponme。
  ThefirsttimeIeversawherwasinthePlacedelaBourse,outsideSusse's;anopencarriagewasstationedthere,andawomandressedinwhitegotdownfromit。Amurmurofadmirationgreetedherassheenteredtheshop。Asforme,Iwasrivettedtothespotfromthemomentshewentintillthemomentwhenshecameoutagain。Icouldseeherthroughtheshopwindowsselectingwhatshehadcometobuy。Imighthavegonein,butI
  darednot。Ididnotknowwhoshewas,andIwasafraidlestsheshouldguesswhyIhadcomeinandbeoffended。Nevertheless,I
  didnotthinkIshouldeverseeheragain。
  Shewaselegantlydressed;sheworeamuslindresswithmanyflounces,anIndianshawlembroideredatthecornerswithgoldandsilkflowers,astrawhat,asinglebracelet,andaheavygoldchain,suchaswasjustthenbeginningtobethefashion。
  Shereturnedtohercarriageanddroveaway。Oneoftheshopmenstoodatthedoorlookingafterhiselegantcustomer'scarriage。
  Iwentuptohimandaskedhimwhatwasthelady'sname。
  "MademoiselleMargueriteGautier,"hereplied。Idarednotaskhimforheraddress,andwentonmyway。
  Therecollectionofthisvision,foritwasreallyavision,wouldnotleavemymindlikesomanyvisionsIhadseen,andI
  lookedeverywhereforthisroyallybeautifulwomaninwhite。
  AfewdayslatertherewasagreatperformanceattheOperaComique。ThefirstpersonIsawinoneoftheboxeswasMargueriteGautier。
  TheyoungmanwhomIwaswithrecognisedherimmediately,forhesaidtome,mentioninghername:"Lookatthatprettygirl。"
  AtthatmomentMargueriteturnedheropera-glassinourdirectionand,seeingmyfriend,smiledandbeckonedtohimtocometoher。
  "Iwillgoandsay'Howdoyoudo?'toher,"hesaid,"andwillbebackinamoment。"
  "Icouldnothelpsaying"Happyman!"
  "Why?"
  "Togoandseethatwoman。"
  "Areyouinlovewithher?"
  "No,"Isaid,flushing,forIreallydidnotknowwhattosay;
  "butIshouldverymuchliketoknowher。"
  "Comewithme。Iwillintroduceyou。"
  "Askherifyoumay。"
  "Really,thereisnoneedtobeparticularwithher;come。"
  Whathesaidtroubledme。IfearedtodiscoverthatMargueritewasnotworthyofthesentimentwhichIfeltforher。
  InabookofAlphonseKarrentitlesAmRauchen,thereisamanwhooneeveningfollowsaveryelegantwoman,withwhomhehadfalleninlovewithatfirstsightonaccountofherbeauty。Onlytokissherhandhefeltthathehadthestrengthtoundertakeanything,thewilltoconqueranything,thecouragetoachieveanything。Hescarcelydaresglanceatthetrimanklewhichsheshowsassheholdsherdressoutofthemud。Whileheisdreamingofallthathewoulddotopossessthiswoman,shestopsatthecornerofthestreetandasksifhewillcomehomewithher。Heturnshishead,crossesthestreet,andgoessadlybacktohisownhouse。
  Irecalledthestory,and,havinglongedtosufferforthiswoman,IwasafraidthatshewouldacceptmetoopromptlyandgivemeatoncewhatIfainwouldhavepurchasedbylongwaitingorsomegreatsacrifice。Wemenarebuiltlikethat,anditisveryfortunatethattheimaginationlendssomuchpoetrytothesenses,andthatthedesiresofthebodymakethussuchconcessiontothedreamsofthesoul。Ifanyonehadsaidtome,Youshallhavethiswomanto-nightandbekilledtomorrow,I
  wouldhaveaccepted。Ifanyonehadsaidtome,youcanbeherloverfortenpounds,Iwouldhaverefused。Iwouldhavecriedlikeachildwhoseesthecastlehehasbeendreamingaboutvanishawayasheawakensfromsleep。
  Allthesame,Iwishedtoknowher;itwasmyonlymeansofmakingupmymindabouther。IthereforesaidtomyfriendthatI
  insistedonhavingherpermissiontobeintroducedtoher,andI
  wanderedtoandfrointhecorridors,sayingtomyselfthatinamoment'stimeshewasgoingtoseeme,andthatIshouldnotknowwhichwaytolook。Itried(sublimechildishnessoflove!)tostringtogetherthewordsIshouldsaytoher。
  Amomentaftermyfriendreturned。"Sheisexpectingus,"hesaid。
  "Isshealone?"Iasked。
  "Withanotherwoman。"
  "Therearenomen?"
  "No。"
  "Come,then。"
  Myfriendwenttowardthedoorofthetheatre。
  "Thatisnottheway,"Isaid。
  "Wemustgoandgetsomesweets。Sheaskedmeforsome。"
  Wewentintoaconfectioner'sinthepassagedel'Opera。Iwouldhaveboughtthewholeshop,andIwaslookingabouttoseewhatsweetstochoose,whenmyfriendaskedforapoundofraisinsglaces。
  "Doyouknowifshelikesthem?"
  "Sheeatsnootherkindofsweets;everybodyknowsit。
  "Ah,"hewentonwhenwehadlefttheshop,"doyouknowwhatkindofwomanitisthatIamgoingtointroduceyouto?Don'timagineitisaduchess。Itissimplyakeptwoman,verymuchkept,mydearfellow;don'tbeshy,sayanythingthatcomesintoyourhead。"
  "Yes,yes,"Istammered,andIfollowedhim,sayingtomyselfthatIshouldsooncuremyselfofmypassion。
  WhenIenteredtheboxMargueritewasinfitsoflaughter。I
  wouldratherthatshehadbeensad。Myfriendintroducedme;
  Margueritegavemealittlenod,andsaid,"Andmysweets?"
  "Heretheyare。"
  Shelookedatmeasshetookthem。Idroppedmyeyesandblushed。
  Sheleanedacrosstoherneighbourandsaidsomethinginherear,atwhichbothlaughed。EvidentlyIwasthecauseoftheirmirth,andmyembarrassmentincreased。AtthattimeIhadasmistressaveryaffectionateandsentimentallittleperson,whosesentimentandwhosemelancholylettersamusedmegreatly。IrealizedthepainImusthavegivenherbywhatInowexperienced,andforfiveminutesIlovedherasnowomanwaseverloved。
  Margueriteateherraisinsglaceswithouttakinganymorenoticeofme。Thefriendwhohadintroducedmedidnotwishtoletmeremaininsoridiculousaposition。
  "Marguerite,"hesaid,"youmustnotbesurprisedifM。Duvalsaysnothing:youoverwhelmhimtosuchadegreethathecannotfindawordtosay。"
  "Ishouldsay,onthecontrary,thathehasonlycomewithyoubecauseitwouldhaveboredyoutocomeherebyyourself。"
  "Ifthatweretrue,"Isaid,"IshouldnothavebeggedErnesttoaskyourpermissiontointroduceme。"
  "Perhapsthatwasonlyinordertoputoffthefatalmoment。"
  HoweverlittleonemayhaveknownwomenlikeMarguerite,onecannotbutknowthedelighttheytakeinpretendingtobewittyandinteasingthepeoplewhomtheymeetforthefirsttime。Itisnodoubtareturnforthehumiliationswhichtheyoftenhavetosubmittoonthepartofthosewhomtheyseeeveryday。
  Toanswerthemproperly,onerequiresacertainknack,andIhadnothadtheopportunityofacquiringit;besides,theideathatI
  hadformedofMargueriteaccentuatedtheeffectsofhermockery。
  Nothingthatdamefromherwasindifferenttome。Irosetomyfeet,sayinginanalteredvoice,whichIcouldnotentirelycontrol:
  "Ifthatiswhatyouthinkofme,madame,Ihaveonlytoaskyourpardonformyindiscretion,andtotakeleaveofyouwiththeassurancethatitshallnotoccuragain。"
  ThereuponIbowedandquittedthebox。IhadscarcelyclosedthedoorwhenIheardathirdpealoflaughter。Itwouldnothavebeenwellforanybodywhohadelbowedmeatthatmoment。
  Ireturnedtomyseat。Thesignalforraisingthecurtainwasgiven。Ernestcamebacktohisplacebesideme。
  "Whatawayyoubehaved!"hesaid,ashesatdown。"Theywillthinkyouaremad。"
  "WhatdidMargueritesayafterIhadgone?"
  "Shelaughed,andsaidshehadneverseenanyonesofunny。Butdon'tlookuponitasalostchance;onlydonotdothesewomenthehonouroftakingthemseriously。Theydonotknowwhatpolitenessandceremonyare。Itisasifyouweretoofferperfumestodogs——theywouldthinkitsmelledbad,andgoandrollinthegutter。"
  "Afterall,whatdoesitmattertome?"Isaid,affectingtospeakinanonchalantway。"Ishallneverseethiswomanagain,andifIlikedherbeforemeetingher,itisquitedifferentnowthatIknowher。"
  "Bah!Idon'tdespairofseeingyouonedayatthebackofherbox,andofbearingthatyouareruiningyourselfforher。
  However,youareright,shehasn'tbeenwellbroughtup;butshewouldbeacharmingmistresstohave。"
  Happily,thecurtainroseandmyfriendwassilent。Icouldnotpossiblytellyouwhattheywereacting。AllthatIrememberisthatfromtimetotimeIraisedmyeyestotheboxIhadquittedsoabruptly,andthatthefacesoffreshvisitorssucceededoneanotherallthetime。
  IwasfarfromhavinggivenupthinkingaboutMarguerite。Anotherfeelinghadtakenpossessionofme。ItseemedtomethatIhadherinsultandmyabsurditytowipeout;IsaidtomyselfthatifIspenteverypennyIhad,IwouldwinherandwinmyrighttotheplaceIhadabandonedsoquickly。
  BeforetheperformancewasoverMargueriteandherfriendleftthebox。Irosefrommyseat。
  "Areyougoing?"saidErnest。
  "Yes。"
  "Why?"
  Atthatmomenthesawthattheboxwasempty。
  "Go,go,"hesaid,"andgoodluck,orratherbetterluck。"
  Iwentout。
  Iheardtherustleofdresses,thesoundofvoices,onthestaircase。Istoodaside,and,withoutbeingseen,sawthetwowomenpassme,accompaniedbytwoyoungmen。Attheentrancetothetheatretheyweremetbyafootman。
  "TellthecoachmantowaitatthedooroftheCafe'Anglais,"
  saidMarguerite。"Wewillwalkthere。"
  AfewminutesafterwardIsawMargueritefromthestreetatawindowofoneofthelargeroomsoftherestaurant,pullingthecamelliasofherbouquettopieces,onebyone。Oneofthetwomenwasleaningoverhershoulderandwhisperinginherear。I
  tookupmypositionattheMaison-d'or,inoneofthefirst-floorrooms,anddidnotlosesightofthewindowforaninstant。AtoneinthemorningMargueritegotintohercarriagewithherthreefriends。Itookacabandfollowedthem。ThecarriagestoppedatNo。9,Rued'Antin。Margueritegotoutandwentinalone。Itwasnodoubtamerechance,butthechancefilledmewithdelight。
  Fromthattimeforward,IoftenmetMargueriteatthetheatreorintheChamps-Elysees。Alwaystherewasthesamegaietyinher,thesameemotioninme。
  Atlastafortnightpassedwithoutmymeetingher。ImetGastonandaskedafterher。
  "Poorgirl,sheisveryill,"heanswered。
  "Whatisthematter?"
  "Sheisconsumptive,andthesortoflifesheleadsisn'texactlythethingtocureher。Shehastakentoherbed;sheisdying。"
  Theheartisastrangething;Iwasalmostgladathearingit。
  EverydayIwenttoaskafterher,withoutleavingmynameormycard。IheardshewasconvalescentandhadgonetoBagneres。
  Timewentby,theimpression,ifnotthememory,fadedgraduallyfrommymind。Itravelled;loveaffairs,habits,work,tooktheplaceofotherthoughts,andwhenIrecalledthisadventureI
  lookeduponitasoneofthosepassionswhichonehaswhenoneisveryyoung,andlaughsatsoonafterward。
  Fortherest,itwasnocredittometohavegotthebetterofthisrecollection,forIhadcompletelylostsightofMarguerite,and,asItoldyou,whenshepassedmeinthecorridoroftheVarietes,Ididnotrecogniseher。Shewasveiled,itistrue;
  but,veiledthoughshemighthavebeentwoyearsearlier,I
  shouldnothaveneededtoseeherinordertorecogniseher:I
  shouldhaveknownherintuitively。Allthesame,myheartbegantobeatwhenIknewthatitwasshe;andthetwoyearsthathadpassedsinceIsawher,andwhathadseemedtobetheresultsofthatseparation,vanishedinsmokeatthemeretouchofherdress。
  Chapter8
  However(continuedArmandafterapause),whileIknewmyselftobestillinlovewithher,Ifeltmoresureofmyself,andpartofmydesiretospeaktoMargueriteagainwasawishtomakeherseethatIwasstrongerthanshe。
  Howmanywaysdoesthehearttake,howmanyreasonsdoesitinventforitself,inordertoarriveatwhatitwants!
  Icouldnotremaininthecorridor,andIreturnedtomyplaceinthestalls,lookinghastilyaroundtoseewhatboxshewasin。
  Shewasinaground-floorbox,quitealone。Shehadchanged,asI
  havetoldyou,andnolongerworeanindifferentsmileonherlips。Shehadsuffered;shewasstillsuffering。ThoughitwasApril,shewasstillwearingawintercostume,allwrappedupinfurs。
  Igazedathersofixedlythatmyeyesattractedhers。Shelookedatmeforafewseconds,putupheropera-glasstoseemebetter,andseemedtothinksherecognisedme,withoutbeingquitesurewhoIwas,forwhensheputdownherglasses,asmile,thatcharming,femininesalutation,flittedacrossherlips,asiftoanswerthebowwhichsheseemedtoexpect;butIdidnotrespond,soastohaveanadvantageoverher,asifIhadforgotten,whilesheremembered。Supposingherselfmistaken,,shelookedaway。
  Thecurtainwentup。IhaveoftenseenMargueriteatthetheatre。
  Ineversawherpaytheslightestattentiontowhatwasbeingacted。Asforme,theperformanceinterestedmeequallylittle,andIpaidnoattentiontoanythingbuther,thoughdoingmyutmosttokeepherfromnoticingit。
  PresentlyIsawherglancingacrossatthepersonwhowasintheoppositebox;onlooking,IsawawomanwithwhomIwasquitefamiliar。Shehadoncebeenakeptwoman,andhadtriedtogoonthestage,hadfailed,and,relyingonheracquaintancewithfashionablepeopleinParis,hadgoneintobusinessandtakenamilliner'sshop。IsawinherameansofmeetingwithMarguerite,andprofitedbyamomentinwhichshelookedmywaytowavemyhandtoher。AsIexpected,shebeckonedtometocometoherbox。
  PrudenceDuvernoy(thatwasthemilliner'sauspiciousname)wasoneofthosefatwomenoffortywithwhomonerequiresverylittlediplomacytomakethemunderstandwhatonewantstoknow,especiallywhenwhatonewantstoknowisassimpleaswhatIhadtoaskofher。
  ItookadvantageofamomentwhenshewassmilingacrossatMargueritetoaskher,"Whomareyoulookingat?"
  "MargueriteGautier。"
  "Youknowher?"
  "Yes,Iamhermilliner,andsheisaneighbourofmine。"
  "DoyouliveintheRued'Antin?"
  "No。7。Thewindowofherdressing-roomlooksontothewindowofmine。"
  "Theysaysheisacharminggirl。"
  "Don'tyouknowher?"
  "No,butIshouldliketo。"
  "ShallIaskhertocomeovertoourbox?"
  "No,Iwouldratherforyoutointroducemetoher。"
  "Atherownhouse?"
  "Yes。
  "Thatismoredifficult。"
  "Why?"
  "Becausesheisundertheprotectionofajealousoldduke。"
  "'Protection'ischarming。"
  "Yes,protection,"repliedPrudence。"Pooroldman,hewouldbegreatlyembarrassedtoofferheranythingelse。"
  PrudencethentoldmehowMargueritehadmadetheacquaintanceofthedukeatBagneres。
  "That,then,"Icontinued,"iswhysheisalonehere?"
  "Precisely。"
  "Butwhowillseeherhome?"
  "Hewill。"
  "Hewillcomeforher?"
  "Inamoment。"
  "Andyou,whoisseeingyouhome?"
  "Noone。"
  "MayIoffermyself?"
  "Butyouarewithafriend,areyounot?"
  "Mayweoffer,then?"
  "Whoisyourfriend?"
  "Acharmingfellow,veryamusing。Hewillbedelightedtomakeyouracquaintance。"
  "Well,allright;wewillgoafterthispieceisover,forIknowthelastpiece。"
  "Withpleasure;Iwillgoandtellmyfriend。"
  "Go,then。Ah,"addedPrudence,asIwasgoing,"thereisthedukejustcomingintoMarguerite'sbox。"
  Ilookedathim。Amanofaboutseventyhadsatdownbehindher,andwasgivingherabagofsweets,intowhichshedippedatonce,smiling。ThenshehelditouttowardPrudence,withagesturewhichseemedtosay,"Willyouhavesome?"
  "No,"signalledPrudence。
  Margueritedrewbackthebag,and,turning,begantotalkwiththeduke。
  Itmaysoundchildishtotellyouallthesedetails,buteverythingrelatingtoMargueriteissofreshinmymemorythatI
  cannothelprecallingthemnow。
  IwentbacktoGastonandtoldhimofthearrangementIhadmadeforhimandforme。Heagreed,andweleftourstallstogoroundtoMme。Duvernoy'sbox。WehadscarcelyopenedthedoorleadingintothestallswhenwehadtostandasidetoallowMargueriteandtheduketopass。Iwouldhavegiventenyearsofmylifetohavebeenintheoldman'splace。
  Whentheywereonthestreethehandedherintoaphaeton,whichhedrovehimself,andtheywerewhirledawaybytwosuperbhorses。
  WereturnedtoPrudence'sbox,andwhentheplaywasoverwetookacabanddroveto7,Rued'Antin。Atthedoor,Prudenceaskedustocomeupandseehershowrooms,whichwehadneverseen,andofwhichsheseemedveryproud。YoucanimaginehoweagerlyI
  accepted。ItseemedtomeasifIwascomingnearerandnearertoMarguerite。Isoonturnedtheconversationinherdirection。
  "Theolddukeisatyourneighbours,"IsaidtoPrudence。