"DidInottellyou?"shesobbed,tryingtowrigglegentlyoutfromunderhisgrip。"DidInottellyouthatIsawthewitchwomanpushthecanoe?Ilayhiddeninthegrassandheardallthewords。ShethatweusedtocallthewhiteMemwantedtoreturntolookatyourface,butthewitchwomanforbadeher,and——"
Shesankloweryetonherelbow,turninghalfroundunderthedownwardpushoftheheavyhand,herfacelifteduptohimwithspitefuleyes。
"Andsheobeyed,"sheshoutedoutinahalf-laugh,half-cryofpain。"Letmego,Tuan。Whyareyouangrywithme?
Hasten,oryoushallbetoolatetoshowyourangertothedeceitfulwoman。"
Almayerdraggedheruptoherfeetandlookedcloseintoherfacewhileshestruggled,turningherheadawayfromhiswildstare。
"Whosentyouheretotormentme?"heasked,violently。"Idonotbelieveyou。Youlie。"
Hestraightenedhisarmsuddenlyandflungheracrosstheverandahtowardsthedoorway,whereshelayimmobileandsilent,asifshehadleftherlifeinhisgrasp,adarkheap,withoutasoundorastir。
"Oh!Nina!"whisperedAlmayer,inavoiceinwhichreproachandlovespoketogetherinpainedtenderness。"Oh!Nina!
Idonotbelieve。"
Alightdraughtfromtheriverranoverthecourtyardinawaveofbowinggrassand,enteringtheverandah,touchedAlmayer'sforeheadwithitscoolbreath,inacaressofinfinitepity。Thecurtaininthewomen'sdoorwayblewoutandinstantlycollapsedwithstartlinghelplessness。Hestaredattheflutteringstuff。
"Nina!"criedAlmayer。"Whereareyou,Nina?"
Thewindpassedoutoftheemptyhouseinatremuloussigh,andallwasstill。
Almayerhidhisfaceinhishandsasiftoshutoutaloathsomesight。When,hearingaslightrustle,heuncoveredhiseyes,thedarkheapbythedoorwasgone。
chapter11
CHAPTERXI。
Inthemiddleofashadowlesssquareofmoonlight,shiningonasmoothandlevelexpanseofyoungrice-shoots,alittleshelter-hutperchedonhighposts,thepileofbrushwoodnearbyandtheglowingembersofafirewithamanstretchedbeforeit,seemedverysmallandasiflostinthepalegreeniridescencereflectedfromtheground。Onthreesidesoftheclearing,appearingveryfarawayinthedeceptivelight,thebigtreesoftheforest,lashedtogetherwithmanifoldbondsbyamassoftangledcreepers,lookeddownatthegrowingyounglifeattheirfeetwiththesombreresignationofgiantsthathadlostfaithintheirstrength。Andinthemidstofthemthemercilesscreepersclungtothebigtrunksincable-likecoils,leapedfromtreetotree,hunginthornyfestoonsfromthelowerboughs,and,sendingslendertendrilsonhightoseekoutthesmallestbranches,carrieddeathtotheirvictimsinanexultingriotofsilentdestruction。
Onthefourthside,followingthecurveofthebankofthatbranchofthePantaithatformedtheonlyaccesstotheclearing,ranablacklineofyoungtrees,bushes,andthicksecondgrowth,unbrokensaveforasmallgapchoppedoutinoneplace。Atthatgapbeganthenarrowfootpathleadingfromthewater'sedgetothegrass-builtshelterusedbythenightwatcherswhentheripeningcrophadtobeprotectedfromthewildpigs。Thepathwayendedatthefootofthepilesonwhichthehutwasbuilt,inacircularspacecoveredwithashesandbitsofburntwood。Inthemiddleofthatspace,bythedimfire,layDain。
Heturnedoveronhissidewithanimpatientsigh,and,pillowinghisheadonhisbentarm,layquietlywithhisfacetothedyingfire。Theglowingembersshoneredlyinasmallcircle,throwingagleamintohiswide-openeyes,andateverydeepbreaththefinewhiteashofbygonefiresroseinalightcloudbeforehispartedlips,anddancedawayfromthewarmglowintothemoonbeamspouringdownuponBulangi'sclearing。Hisbodywaswearywiththeexertionofthepastfewdays,hismindmorewearystillwiththestrainofsolitarywaitingforhisfate。Neverbeforehadhefeltsohelpless。Hehadheardthereportofthegunfiredonboardthelaunch,andheknewthathislifewasinuntrustworthyhands,andthathisenemieswereverynear。Duringtheslowhoursoftheafternoonheroamedaboutontheedgeoftheforest,or,hidinginthebushes,watchedthecreekwithunquieteyesforsomesignofdanger。Hefearednotdeath,yethedesiredardentlytolive,forlifetohimwasNina。Shehadpromisedtocome,tofollowhim,tosharehisdangerandhissplendour。Butwithherbyhissidehecarednotfordanger,andwithouthertherecouldbenosplendourandnojoyinexistence。
Crouchinginhisshadyhiding-place,heclosedhiseyes,tryingtoevokethegraciousandcharmingimageofthewhitefigurethatforhimwasthebeginningandtheendoflife。Witheyesshuttight,histeethhardset,hetriedinagreateffortofpassionatewilltokeephisholdonthatvisionofsupremedelight。Invain!HisheartgrewheavyasthefigureofNinafadedawaytobereplacedbyanothervisionthistime——avisionofarmedmen,ofangryfaces,ofglitteringarms——andheseemedtohearthehumofexcitedandtriumphantvoicesastheydiscoveredhiminhishiding-place。Startledbythevividnessofhisfancy,hewouldopenhiseyes,and,leapingoutintothesunlight,resumehisaimlesswanderingsaroundtheclearing。Asheskirtedinhiswearymarchtheedgeoftheforestheglancednowandthenintoitsdarkshade,soenticinginitsdeceptiveappearanceofcoolness,sorepellentwithitsunrelievedgloom,wherelay,entombedandrotting,countlessgenerationsoftrees,andwheretheirsuccessorsstoodasifmourning,indarkgreenfoliage,immenseandhelpless,awaitingtheirturn。Onlytheparasitesseemedtolivethereinasinuousrushupwardsintotheairandsunshine,feedingonthedeadandthedyingalike,andcrowningtheirvictimswithpinkandblueflowersthatgleamedamongsttheboughs,incongruousandcruel,likeastridentandmockingnoteinthesolemnharmonyofthedoomedtrees。
Amancouldhidethere,thoughtDain,asheapproachedaplacewherethecreepershadbeentornandhackedintoanarchwaythatmighthavebeenthebeginningofapath。Ashebentdowntolookthroughheheardangrygrunting,andasounderofwildpigcrashedawayintheundergrowth。Anacridsmellofdampearthandofdecayingleavestookhimbythethroat,andhedrewbackwithascaredface,asifhehadbeentouchedbythebreathofDeathitself。Theveryairseemeddeadinthere——heavyandstagnating,poisonedwiththecorruptionofcountlessages。Hewenton,staggeringonhisway,urgedbythenervousrestlessnessthatmadehimfeeltiredyetcausedhimtoloathetheveryideaofimmobilityandrepose。Washeawildmantohideinthewoodsandperhapsbekilledthere——inthedarkness——wheretherewasnoroomtobreathe?Hewouldwaitforhisenemiesinthesunlight,wherehecouldseetheskyandfeelthebreeze。HeknewhowaMalaychiefshoulddie。Thesombreanddesperatefury,thatpeculiarinheritanceofhisrace,tookpossessionofhim,andheglaredsavagelyacrosstheclearingtowardsthegapinthebushesbytheriverside。Theywouldcomefromthere。Inimaginationhesawthemnow。Hesawthebeardedfacesandthewhitejacketsoftheofficers,thelightonthelevelledbarrelsoftherifles。
Whatisthebraveryofthegreatestwarriorbeforethefirearmsinthehandofaslave?Hewouldwalktowardthemwithasmilingface,withhishandsheldoutinasignofsubmissiontillhewasverynearthem。Hewouldspeakfriendlywords——comeneareryet——yetnearer——sonearthattheycouldtouchhimwiththeirhandsandstretchthemouttomakehimacaptive。Thatwouldbethetime:withashoutandaleaphewouldbeinthemidstofthem,krissinhand,killing,killing,killing,andwoulddiewiththeshoutsofhisenemiesinhisears,theirwarmbloodspurtingbeforehiseyes。
Carriedawaybyhisexcitement,hesnatchedthekrisshiddeninhissarong,and,drawingalongbreath,rushedforward,struckattheemptyair,andfellonhisface。Helayasifstunnedinthesuddenreactionfromhisexaltation,thinkingthat,evenifhediedthusgloriously,itwouldhavetobebeforehesawNina。
Betterso。Ifhesawheragainhefeltthatdeathwouldbetooterrible。Withhorrorhe,thedescendantofRajahsandofconquerors,hadtofacethedoubtofhisownbravery。Hisdesireoflifetormentedhiminaparoxysmofagonisingremorse。Hehadnotthecouragetostiralimb。Hehadlostfaithinhimself,andtherewasnothingelseinhimofwhatmakesaman。Thesufferingremained,foritisorderedthatitshouldabideinthehumanbodyeventothelastbreath,andfearremained。Dimlyhecouldlookintothedepthsofhispassionatelove,seeitsstrengthanditsweakness,andfeltafraid。
Thesunwentdownslowly。Theshadowofthewesternforestmarchedovertheclearing,coveredtheman'sscorchedshoulderswithitscoolmantle,andwentonhurriedlytominglewiththeshadowsofotherforestsontheeasternside。Thesunlingeredforawhileamongstthelighttraceryofthehigherbranches,asifinfriendlyreluctancetoabandonthebodystretchedinthegreenpaddy-field。ThenDain,revivedbythecooloftheeveningbreeze,satupandstaredroundhim。Ashedidsothesundippedsharply,asifashamedofbeingdetectedinasympathisingattitude,andtheclearing,whichduringthedaywasalllight,becamesuddenlyalldarkness,wherethefiregleamedlikeaneye。
Dainwalkedslowlytowardsthecreek,and,divestinghimselfofhistornsarong,hisonlygarment,enteredthewatercautiously。
Hehadhadnothingtoeatthatday,andhadnotdaredshowhimselfindaylightbythewater-sidetodrink。Now,asheswamsilently,heswallowedafewmouthfulsofwaterthatlappedabouthislips。Thisdidhimgood,andhewalkedwithgreaterconfidenceinhimselfandothersashereturnedtowardsthefire。
HadhebeenbetrayedbyLakambaallwouldhavebeenoverbythis。
Hemadeupabigblaze,andwhileitlasteddriedhimself,andthenlaydownbytheembers。Hecouldnotsleep,buthefeltagreatnumbnessinallhislimbs。Hisrestlessnesswasgone,andhewascontenttolaystill,measuringthetimebywatchingthestarsthatroseinendlesssuccessionabovetheforests,whiletheslightpuffsofwindunderthecloudlessskyseemedtofantheirtwinkleintoagreaterbrightness。Dreamilyheassuredhimselfoverandoveragainthatshewouldcome,tillthecertitudecreptintohisheartandfilledhimwithagreatpeace。
Yes,whenthenextdaybroke,theywouldbetogetheronthegreatblueseathatwaslikelife——awayfromtheforeststhatwerelikedeath。HemurmuredthenameofNinaintothesilentspacewithatendersmile:thisseemedtobreakthespellofstillness,andfarawaybythecreekafrogcroakedloudlyasifinanswer。A
chorusofloudroarsandplaintivecallsrosefromthemudalongthelineofbushes。Helaughedheartily;doubtlessitwastheirlove-song。Hefeltaffectionatetowardsthefrogsandlistened,pleasedwiththenoisylifenearhim。
Whenthemoonpeepedabovethetreeshefelttheoldimpatienceandtheoldrestlessnessstealoverhim。Whywasshesolate?
True,itwasalongwaytocomewithasinglepaddle。Withwhatskillandwhatendurancecouldthosesmallhandsmanageaheavypaddle!Itwasverywonderful——suchsmallhands,suchsoftlittlepalmsthatknewhowtotouchhischeekwithafeellighterthanthefanningofabutterfly'swing。Wonderful!Helosthimselflovinglyinthecontemplationofthistremendousmystery,andwhenhelookedatthemoonagainithadrisenahand'sbreadthabovethetrees。Wouldshecome?Heforcedhimselftolaystill,overcomingtheimpulsetoriseandrushroundtheclearingagain。Heturnedthiswayandthat;atlast,quiveringwiththeeffort,helayonhisback,andsawherfaceamongthestarslookingdownonhim。
Thecroakingoffrogssuddenlyceased。WiththewatchfulnessofahuntedmanDainsatup,listeninganxiously,andheardseveralsplashesinthewaterasthefrogstookrapidheadersintothecreek。Heknewthattheyhadbeenalarmedbysomething,andstoodupsuspiciousandattentive。Aslightgratingnoise,thenthedrysoundasoftwopiecesofwoodstruckagainsteachother。
Somebodywasabouttoland!Hetookupanarmfulofbrushwood,and,withouttakinghiseyesfromthepath,helditovertheembersofhisfire。Hewaited,undecided,andsawsomethinggleamamongstthebushes;thenawhitefigurecameoutoftheshadowsandseemedtofloattowardshiminthepalelight。Hisheartgaveagreatleapandstoodstill,thenwentonshakinghisframeinfuriousbeats。Hedroppedthebrushwoodupontheglowingcoals,andhadanimpressionofshoutinghername——ofrushingtomeether;yetheemittednosound,hestirrednotaninch,buthestoodsilentandmotionlesslikechiselledbronzeunderthemoonlightthatstreamedoverhisnakedshoulders。Ashestoodstill,fightingwithhisbreath,asifbereftofhissensesbytheintensityofhisdelight,shewalkeduptohimwithquick,resolutesteps,and,withtheappearanceofoneabouttoleapfromadangerousheight,threwbothherarmsroundhisneckwithasuddengesture。Asmallbluegleamcreptamongstthedrybranches,andthecracklingofrevivingfirewastheonlysoundastheyfacedeachotherinthespeechlessemotionofthatmeeting;thenthedryfuelcaughtatonce,andabrighthotflameshotupwardsinablazeashighastheirheads,andinitslighttheysaweachother'seyes。
Neitherofthemspoke。Hewasregaininghissensesinaslighttremorthatranupwardsalonghisrigidbodyandhungabouthistremblinglips。Shedrewbackherheadandfastenedhereyesonhisinoneofthoselonglooksthatareawoman'smostterribleweapon;alookthatismorestirringthantheclosesttouch,andmoredangerousthanthethrustofadagger,becauseitalsowhipsthesouloutofthebody,butleavesthebodyaliveandhelpless,tobeswayedhereandtherebythecapricioustempestsofpassionanddesire;alookthatenwrapsthewholebody,andthatpenetratesintotheinnermostrecessesofthebeing,bringingterribledefeatinthedeliriousupliftingofaccomplishedconquest。Ithasthesamemeaningforthemanoftheforestsandtheseaasforthemanthreadingthepathsofthemoredangerouswildernessofhousesandstreets。Menthathadfeltintheirbreaststheawfulexultationsuchalookawakensbecomemerethingsofto-day——whichisparadise;forgetyesterday——whichwassuffering;carenotforto-morrow——whichmaybeperdition。Theywishtoliveunderthatlookforever。Itisthelookofwoman'ssurrender。
Heunderstood,and,asifsuddenlyreleasedfromhisinvisiblebonds,fellatherfeetwithashoutofjoy,and,embracingherknees,hidhisheadinthefoldsofherdress,murmuringdisjointedwordsofgratitudeandlove。Neverbeforehadhefeltsoproudasnow,whenatthefeetofthatwomanthathalfbelongedtohisenemies。Herfingersplayedwithhishairinanabsent-mindedcaressasshestoodabsorbedinthought。Thethingwasdone。Hermotherwasright。Themanwasherslave。
Assheglanceddownathiskneelingformshefeltagreatpityingtendernessforthatmanshewasusedtocall——eveninherthoughts——themasteroflife。Sheliftedhereyesandlookedsadlyatthesouthernheavensunderwhichlaythepathoftheirlives——herown,andthatman'satherfeet。Didhenotsayhimselfisthatshewasthelightofhislife?Shewouldbehislightandhiswisdom;shewouldbehisgreatnessandhisstrength;yethiddenfromtheeyesofallmenshewouldbe,aboveall,hisonlyandlastingweakness。Averywoman!Inthesublimevanityofherkindshewasthinkingalreadyofmouldingagodfromtheclayatherfeet。Agodforotherstoworship。
Shewascontenttoseehimashewasnow,andtofeelhimquiverattheslightesttouchofherlightfingers。Andwhilehereyeslookedsadlyatthesouthernstarsafaintsmileseemedtobeplayingaboutherfirmlips。Whocantellinthefitfullightofacampfire?Itmighthavebeenasmileoftriumph,orofconsciouspower,oroftenderpity,or,perhaps,oflove。
Shespokesoftlytohim,andherosetohisfeet,puttinghisarmroundherinquietconsciousnessofhisownership;shelaidherheadonhisshoulderwithasenseofdefiancetoalltheworldintheencirclingprotectionofthatarm。Hewasherswithallhisqualitiesandallhisfaults。Hisstrengthandhiscourage,hisrecklessnessandhisdaring,hissimplewisdomandhissavagecunning——allwerehers。Astheypassedtogetheroutoftheredlightofthefireintothesilvershowerofraysthatfellupontheclearinghebenthisheadoverherface,andshesawinhiseyesthedreamyintoxicationofboundlessfelicityfromtheclosetouchofherslightfigureclaspedtohisside。Witharhythmicalswingoftheirbodiestheywalkedthroughthelighttowardstheoutlyingshadowsoftheforeststhatseemedtoguardtheirhappinessinsolemnimmobility。Theirformsmeltedintheplayoflightandshadowatthefootofthebigtrees,butthemurmuroftenderwordslingeredovertheemptyclearing,grewfaint,anddiedout。Asighasofimmensesorrowpassedoverthelandinthelasteffortofthedyingbreeze,andinthedeepsilencewhichsucceeded,theearthandtheheavensweresuddenlyhushedupinthemournfulcontemplationofhumanloveandhumanblindness。
Theywalkedslowlybacktothefire。Hemadeforheraseatoutofthedrybranches,and,throwinghimselfdownatherfeet,layhisheadinherlapandgavehimselfuptothedreamydelightofthepassinghour。Theirvoicesroseandfell,tenderoranimatedastheyspokeoftheirloveandoftheirfuture。She,withafewskilfulwordsspokenfromtimetotime,guidedhisthoughts,andhelethishappinessflowinastreamoftalkpassionateandtender,graveormenacing,accordingtothemoodwhichsheevoked。Hespoketoherofhisownisland,wherethegloomyforestsandthemuddyriverswereunknown。Hespokeofitsterracedfields,ofthemurmuringclearrillsofsparklingwaterthatfloweddownthesidesofgreatmountains,bringinglifetothelandandjoytoitstillers。Andhespokealsoofthemountainpeakthatrisinglonelyabovethebeltoftreesknewthesecretsofthepassingclouds,andwasthedwelling-placeofthemysteriousspiritofhisrace,oftheguardiangeniusofhishouse。Hespokeofvasthorizonssweptbyfiercewindsthatwhistledhighabovethesummitsofburningmountains。Hespokeofhisforefathersthatconqueredagesagotheislandofwhichhewastobethefutureruler。Andthenas,inherinterest,shebroughtherfacenearertohis,he,touchinglightlythethicktressesofherlonghair,feltasuddenimpulsetospeaktoheroftheseahelovedsowell;andhetoldherofitsnever-ceasingvoice,towhichhehadlistenedasachild,wonderingatitshiddenmeaningthatnolivingmanhaspenetratedyet;ofitsenchantingglitter;ofitssenselessandcapriciousfury;howitssurfacewasforeverchanging,andyetalwaysenticing,whileitsdepthswereforeverthesame,coldandcruel,andfullofthewisdomofdestroyedlife。Hetoldherhowitheldmenslavesofitscharmforalifetime,andthen,regardlessoftheirdevotion,swallowedthemup,angryattheirfearofitsmystery,whichitwouldneverdisclose,noteventothosethatloveditmost。
Whilehetalked,Nina'sheadhadbeengraduallysinkinglower,andherfacealmosttouchedhisnow。Herhairwasoverhiseyes,herbreathwasonhisforehead,herarmswereabouthisbody。
Notwobeingscouldbeclosertoeachother,yetsheguessedratherthanunderstoodthemeaningofhislastwordsthatcameoutafteraslighthesitationinafaintmurmur,dyingoutimperceptiblyintoaprofoundandsignificantsilence:"Thesea,ONina,islikeawoman'sheart。"
Sheclosedhislipswithasuddenkiss,andansweredinasteadyvoice——
"Buttothementhathavenofear,Omasterofmylife,theseaisevertrue。"
Overtheirheadsafilmofdark,thread-likeclouds,lookinglikeimmensecobwebsdriftingunderthestars,darkenedtheskywiththepresageofthecomingthunderstorm。Fromtheinvisiblehillsthefirstdistantrumbleofthundercameinaprolongedrollwhich,aftertossingaboutfromhilltohill,lostitselfintheforestsofthePantai。DainandNinastoodup,andtheformerlookedattheskyuneasily。
"ItistimeforBabalatchitobehere,"hesaid。"Thenightismorethanhalfgone。Ourroadislong,andabullettravelsquickerthanthebestcanoe。"
"Hewillbeherebeforethemoonishiddenbehindtheclouds,"
saidNina。"Iheardasplashinthewater,"sheadded。"Didyouhearittoo?"
"Alligator,"answeredDainshortly,withacarelessglancetowardsthecreek。"Thedarkerthenight,"hecontinued,"theshorterwillbeourroad,forthenwecouldkeepinthecurrentofthemainstream,butifitislight——evennomorethannow——wemustfollowthesmallchannelsofsleepingwater,withnothingtohelpourpaddles。"
"Dain,"interposedNina,earnestly,"itwasnoalligator。I
heardthebushesrustlingnearthelanding-place。"
"Yes,"saidDain,afterlisteningawhile。"ItcannotbeBabalatchi,whowouldcomeinabigwarcanoe,andopenly。Thosethatarecoming,whoevertheyare,donotwishtomakemuchnoise。Butyouhaveheard,andnowIcansee,"hewentonquickly。"Itisbutoneman。Standbehindme,Nina。
Ifheisafriendheiswelcome;ifheisanenemyyoushallseehimdie。"
Helaidhishandonhiskriss,andawaitedtheapproachofhisunexpectedvisitor。Thefirewasburningverylow,andsmallclouds——precursorsofthestorm——crossedthefaceofthemooninrapidsuccession,andtheirflyingshadowsdarkenedtheclearing。
Hecouldnotmakeoutwhothemanmightbe,buthefeltuneasyatthesteadyadvanceofthetallfigurewalkingonthepathwithaheavytread,andhaileditwithacommandtostop。Themanstoppedatsomelittledistance,andDainexpectedhimtospeak,butallhecouldhearwashisdeepbreathing。Throughabreakintheflyingcloudsasuddenandfleetingbrightnessdescendedupontheclearing。Beforethedarknessclosedinagain,Dainsawahandholdingsomeglitteringobjectextendedtowardshim,heardNina'scryof"Father!"andinaninstantthegirlwasbetweenhimandAlmayer'srevolver。Nina'sloudcrywokeuptheechoesofthesleepingwoods,andthethreestoodstillasifwaitingforthereturnofsilencebeforetheywouldgiveexpressiontotheirvariousfeelings。AttheappearanceofNina,Almayer'sarmfellbyhisside,andhemadeastepforward。Dainpushedthegirlgentlyaside。
"AmIawildbeastthatyoushouldtrytokillmesuddenlyandinthedark,TuanAlmayer?"saidDain,breakingthestrainedsilence。"Throwsomebrushwoodonthefire,"hewenton,speakingtoNina,"whileIwatchmywhitefriend,lestharmshouldcometoyouortome,Odelightofmyheart!"
Almayergroundhisteethandraisedhisarmagain。WithaquickboundDainwasathisside:therewasashortscuffle,duringwhichonechamberoftherevolverwentoffharmlessly,thentheweapon,wrenchedoutofAlmayer'shand,whirledthroughtheairandfellinthebushes。Thetwomenstoodclosetogether,breathinghard。ThereplenishedfirethrewoutanunsteadycircleoflightandshoneontheterrifiedfaceofNina,wholookedatthemwithoutstretchedhands。
"Dain!"shecriedoutwarningly,"Dain!"
Hewavedhishandtowardsherinareassuringgesture,and,turningtoAlmayer,saidwithgreatcourtesy——
"Nowwemaytalk,Tuan。Itiseasytosendoutdeath,butcanyourwisdomrecallthelife?Shemighthavebeenharmed,"hecontinued,indicatingNina。"Yourhandshookmuch;formyselfI
wasnotafraid。"
"Nina!"exclaimedAlmayer,"cometomeatonce。Whatisthissuddenmadness?Whatbewitchedyou?Cometoyourfather,andtogetherweshalltrytoforgetthishorriblenightmare!"
Heopenedhisarmswiththecertitudeofclaspinghertohisbreastinanothersecond。Shedidnotmove。Asitdawneduponhimthatshedidnotmeantoobeyhefeltadeadlycoldcreepintohisheart,and,pressingthepalmsofhishandstohistemples,helookeddownonthegroundinmutedespair。DaintookNinabythearmandledhertowardsherfather。
"Speaktohiminthelanguageofhispeople,"hesaid。"Heisgrieving——aswhowouldnotgrieveatlosingthee,mypearl!
Speaktohimthelastwordsheshallhearspokenbythatvoice,whichmustbeverysweettohim,butisallmylifetome。"
Hereleasedher,and,steppingbackafewpacesoutofthecircleoflight,stoodinthedarknesslookingatthemwithcalminterest。Thereflectionofadistantflashoflightninglitupthecloudsovertheirheads,andwasfollowedafterashortintervalbythefaintrumbleofthunder,whichmingledwithAlmayer'svoiceashebegantospeak。
"Doyouknowwhatyouaredoing?Doyouknowwhatiswaitingforyouifyoufollowthatman?Haveyounopityforyourself?
Doyouknowthatyoushallbeatfirsthisplaythingandthenascornedslave,adrudge,andaservantofsomenewfancyofthatman?"
Sheraisedherhandtostophim,andturningherheadslightly,asked——
"YouhearthisDain!Isittrue?"
"Byallthegods!"cametheimpassionedanswerfromthedarkness——"byheavenandearth,bymyheadandthineIswear:
thisisawhiteman'slie。Ihavedeliveredmysoulintoyourhandsforever;Ibreathewithyourbreath,Iseewithyoureyes,Ithinkwithyourmind,andItakeyouintomyheartforever。"
"Youthief!"shoutedtheexasperatedAlmayer。
Adeepsilencesucceededthisoutburst,thenthevoiceofDainwasheardagain。
"Nay,Tuan,"hesaidinagentletone,"thatisnottruealso。
Thegirlcameofherownwill。Ihavedonenomorebuttoshowhermylovelikeaman;sheheardthecryofmyheart,andshecame,andthedowryIhavegiventothewomanyoucallyourwife。"
Almayergroanedinhisextremityofrageandshame。Ninalaidherhandlightlyonhisshoulder,andthecontact,lightasthetouchofafallingleaf,seemedtocalmhim。Hespokequickly,andinEnglishthistime。
"Tellme,"hesaid——"tellme,whathavetheydonetoyou,yourmotherandthatman?Whatmadeyougiveyourselfuptothatsavage?Forheisasavage。Betweenhimandyouthereisabarrierthatnothingcanremove。Icanseeinyoureyesthelookofthosewhocommitsuicidewhentheyaremad。Youaremad。
Don'tsmile。Itbreaksmyheart。IfIweretoseeyoudrowningbeforemyeyes,andIwithoutthepowertohelpyou,Icouldnotsufferagreatertorment。Haveyouforgottentheteachingofsomanyyears?"
"No,"sheinterrupted,"Irememberitwell。Irememberhowitendedalso。Scornforscorn,contemptforcontempt,hateforhate。Iamnotofyourrace。Betweenyourpeopleandmethereisalsoabarrierthatnothingcanremove。YouaskwhyIwanttogo,andIaskyouwhyIshouldstay。"
Hestaggeredasifstruckintheface,butwithaquick,unhesitatinggraspshecaughthimbythearmandsteadiedhim。
"Whyyoushouldstay!"herepeatedslowly,inadazedmanner,andstoppedshort,astoundedatthecompletenessofhismisfortune。
"Youtoldmeyesterday,"shewentonagain,"thatIcouldnotunderstandorseeyourloveforme:itisso。HowcanI?
Notwohumanbeingsunderstandeachother。Theycanunderstandbuttheirownvoices。Youwantedmetodreamyourdreams,toseeyourownvisions——thevisionsoflifeamongstthewhitefacesofthosewhocastmeoutfromtheirmidstinangrycontempt。ButwhileyouspokeIlistenedtothevoiceofmyownself;thenthismancame,andallwasstill;therewasonlythemurmurofhislove。Youcallhimasavage!Whatdoyoucallmymother,yourwife?"
"Nina!"criedAlmayer,"takeyoureyesoffmyface。"
Shelookeddowndirectly,butcontinuedspeakingonlyalittleaboveawhisper。
"Intime,"shewenton,"bothourvoices,thatman'sandmine,spoketogetherinasweetnessthatwasintelligibletoourearsonly。Youwerespeakingofgoldthen,butourearswerefilledwiththesongofourlove,andwedidnothearyou。ThenIfoundthatwecouldseethrougheachother'seyes:thathesawthingsthatnobodybutmyselfandhecouldsee。Weenteredalandwherenoonecouldfollowus,andleastofallyou。ThenIbegantolive。"
Shepaused。Almayersigheddeeply。Withhereyesstillfixedonthegroundshebeganspeakingagain。
"AndImeantolive。Imeantofollowhim。Ihavebeenrejectedwithscornbythewhitepeople,andnowIamaMalay!Hetookmeinhisarms,helaidhislifeatmyfeet。Heisbrave;hewillbepowerful,andIholdhisbraveryandhisstrengthinmyhand,andIshallmakehimgreat。Hisnameshallberememberedlongafterbothourbodiesarelaidinthedust。IloveyounolessthanIdidbefore,butIshallneverleavehim,forwithouthimI
cannotlive。"
"Ifheunderstoodwhatyouhavesaid,"answeredAlmayer,scornfully,"hemustbehighlyflattered。Youwanthimasatoolforsomeincomprehensibleambitionofyours。Enough,Nina。
Ifyoudonotgodownatoncetothecreek,whereAliiswaitingwithmycanoe,IshalltellhimtoreturntothesettlementandbringtheDutchofficershere。Youcannotescapefromthisclearing,forIhavecastadriftyourcanoe。IftheDutchcatchthisheroofyourstheywillhanghimassureasIstandhere。
Nowgo。"
Hemadeasteptowardshisdaughterandlaidholdofherbytheshoulder,hisotherhandpointingdownthepathtothelanding-place。
"Beware!"exclaimedDain;"thiswomanbelongstome!"
NinawrenchedherselffreeandlookedstraightatAlmayer'sangryface。
"No,Iwillnotgo,"shesaidwithdesperateenergy。"IfhediesIshalldietoo!"
"Youdie!"saidAlmayer,contemptuously。"Oh,no!Youshalllivealifeofliesanddeceptiontillsomeothervagabondcomesalongtosing;howdidyousaythat?Thesongoflovetoyou!
Makeupyourmindquickly。"
Hewaitedforawhile,andthenaddedmeaningly——
"ShallIcallouttoAli?"
"Callout,"sheansweredinMalay,"youthatcannotbetruetoyourowncountrymen。Onlyafewdaysagoyouweresellingthepowderfortheirdestruction;nowyouwanttogiveuptothemthemanthatyesterdayyoucalledyourfriend。Oh,Dain,"shesaid,turningtowardsthemotionlessbutattentivefigureinthedarkness,"insteadofbringingyoulifeIbringyoudeath,forhewillbetrayunlessIleaveyouforever!"
Daincameintothecircleoflight,and,throwinghisarmaroundNina'sneck,whisperedinherear——"Icankillhimwherehestands,beforeasoundcanpasshislips。Foryouitistosayyesorno。Babalatchicannotbefarnow。"
Hestraightenedhimselfup,takinghisarmoffhershoulder,andconfrontedAlmayer,wholookedatthembothwithanexpressionofconcentratedfury,"No!"shecried,clingingtoDaininwildalarm。"No!Killme!
Thenperhapshewillletyougo。Youdonotknowthemindofawhiteman。HewouldratherseemedeadthanstandingwhereIam。
Forgiveme,yourslave,butyoumustnot。"Shefellathisfeetsobbingviolentlyandrepeating,"Killme!Killme!"
"Iwantyoualive,"saidAlmayer,speakingalsoinMalay,withsombrecalmness。"Yougo,orhehangs。Willyouobey?"
DainshookNinaoff,and,makingasuddenlunge,struckAlmayerfullinthechestwiththehandleofhiskriss,keepingthepointtowardshimself。
"Hai,look!Itwaseasyformetoturnthepointtheotherway,"
hesaidinhisevenvoice。"Go,TuanPutih,"headdedwithdignity。"Igiveyouyourlife,mylife,andherlife。I
amtheslaveofthiswoman'sdesire,andshewillsitso。"
Therewasnotaglimmeroflightintheskynow,andthetopsofthetreeswereasinvisibleastheirtrunks,beinglostinthemassofcloudsthathunglowoverthewoods,theclearing,andtheriver。
Everyoutlinehaddisappearedintheintenseblacknessthatseemedtohavedestroyedeverythingbutspace。Onlythefireglimmeredlikeastarforgotteninthisannihilationofallvisiblethings,andnothingwasheardafterDainceasedspeakingbutthesobsofNina,whomheheldinhisarms,kneelingbesidethefire。Almayerstoodlookingdownatthemingloomythoughtfulness。Ashewasopeninghislipstospeaktheywerestartledbyacryofwarningbytheriverside,followedbythesplashofmanypaddlesandthesoundofvoices。
"Babalatchi!"shoutedDain,liftingupNinaashegotuponhisfeetquickly。
"Ada!Ada!"cametheanswerfromthepantingstatesmanwhoranupthepathandstoodamongstthem。"Runtomycanoe,"hesaidtoDainexcitedly,withouttakinganynoticeofAlmayer。"Run!
wemustgo。Thatwomanhastoldthemall!"
"Whatwoman?"askedDain,lookingatNina。Justthentherewasonlyonewomaninthewholeworldforhim。
"Theshe-dogwithwhiteteeth;theseventimesaccursedslaveofBulangi。SheyelledatAbdulla'sgatetillshewokeupallSambir。Nowthewhiteofficersarecoming,guidedbyherandReshid。Ifyouwanttolive,donotlookatme,butgo!"
"Howdoyouknowthis?"askedAlmayer。
"Oh,Tuan!whatmattershowIknow!Ihaveonlyoneeye,butI
sawlightsinAbdulla'shouseandinhiscampongaswewerepaddlingpast。Ihaveears,andwhilewelayunderthebankI
haveheardthemessengerssentouttothewhitemen'shouse。"
"Willyoudepartwithoutthatwomanwhoismydaughter?"saidAlmayer,addressingDain,whileBabalatchistampedwithimpatience,muttering,"Run!Runatonce!"
"No,"answeredDain,steadily,"Iwillnotgo;tonomanwillI
abandonthiswoman。"
"Thenkillmeandescapeyourself,"sobbedoutNina。
Heclaspedherclose,lookingathertenderly,andwhispered,"Wewillneverpart,ONina!"
"Ishallnotstayhereanylonger,"brokeinBabalatchi,angrily。
"Thisisgreatfoolishness。Nowomanisworthaman'slife。
I
amanoldman,andIknow。"
Hepickeduphisstaff,and,turningtogo,lookedatDainasifofferinghimhislastchanceofescape。ButDain'sfacewashiddenamongstNina'sblacktresses,andhedidnotseethislastappealingglance。
Babalatchivanishedinthedarkness。Shortlyafterhisdisappearancetheyheardthewarcanoeleavethelanding-placeintheswishofthenumerouspaddlesdippedinthewatertogether。
AlmostatthesametimeAlicameupfromtheriverside,twopaddlesonhisshoulder。
"Ourcanoeishiddenupthecreek,TuanAlmayer,"hesaid,"inthedensebushwheretheforestcomesdowntothewater。ItookittherebecauseIheardfromBabalatchi'spaddlersthatthewhitemenarecominghere。"
"Waitformethere,"saidAlmayer,"butkeepthecanoehidden。"
Heremainedsilent,listeningtoAli'sfootsteps,thenturnedtoNina。
"Nina,"hesaidsadly,"willyouhavenopityforme?"
Therewasnoanswer。Shedidnoteventurnherhead,whichwaspressedclosetoDain'sbreast。
Hemadeamovementasiftoleavethemandstopped。Bythedimglowoftheburning-outfirehesawtheirtwomotionlessfigures。
Thewoman'sbackturnedtohimwiththelongblackhairstreamingdownoverthewhitedress,andDain'scalmfacelookingathimaboveherhead。
"Icannot,"hemutteredtohimself。Afteralongpausehespokeagainalittlelower,butinanunsteadyvoice,"Itwouldbetoogreatadisgrace。Iamawhiteman。"Hebrokedowncompletelythere,andwentontearfully,"Iamawhiteman,andofgoodfamily。Verygoodfamily,"herepeated,weepingbitterly。
"Itwouldbeadisgrace……allovertheislands,……theonlywhitemanontheeastcoast。No,itcannotbe……whitemenfindingmydaughterwiththisMalay。Mydaughter!"hecriedaloud,witharingofdespairinhisvoice。
Herecoveredhiscomposureafterawhileandsaiddistinctly——
"Iwillneverforgiveyou,Nina——never!Ifyouweretocomebacktomenow,thememoryofthisnightwouldpoisonallmylife。
I
shalltrytoforget。Ihavenodaughter。Thereusedtobeahalf-castewomaninmyhouse,butsheisgoingevennow。You,Dain,orwhateveryournamemaybe,Ishalltakeyouandthatwomantotheislandatthemouthoftherivermyself。Comewithme。"
Heledtheway,followingthebankasfarastheforest。Aliansweredtohiscall,and,pushingtheirwaythroughthedensebush,theysteppedintothecanoehiddenundertheoverhangingbranches。DainlaidNinainthebottom,andsatholdingherheadonhisknees。AlmayerandAlieachtookupapaddle。AstheyweregoingtopushoutAlihissedwarningly。Alllistened。
Inthegreatstillnessbeforetheburstingoutofthethunderstormtheycouldhearthesoundofoarsworkingregularlyintheirrow-locks。Thesoundapproachedsteadily,andDain,lookingthroughthebranches,couldseethefaintshapeofabigwhiteboat。Awoman'svoicesaidinacautioustone——
"Thereistheplacewhereyoumaylandwhitemen;alittlehigher——there!"
Theboatwaspassingthemsocloseinthenarrowcreekthatthebladesofthelongoarsnearlytouchedthecanoe。
"Wayenough!Standbytojumponshore!Heisaloneandunarmed,"wasthequietorderinaman'svoice,andinDutch。
Somebodyelsewhispered:"IthinkIcanseeaglimmerofafirethroughthebush。"Andthentheboatfloatedpastthem,disappearinginstantlyinthedarkness。
"Now,"whisperedAli,eagerly,"letuspushoutandpaddleaway。"
Thelittlecanoeswungintothestream,andasitsprungforwardinresponsetothevigorousdigofthepaddlestheycouldhearanangryshout。
"Heisnotbythefire。Spreadout,men,andsearchforhim!"
Bluelightsblazedoutindifferentpartsoftheclearing,andtheshrillvoiceofawomancriedinaccentsofrageandpain——
"Toolate!Osenselesswhitemen!Hehasescaped!"
chapter12
CHAPTERXII。
"Thatistheplace,"saidDain,indicatingwiththebladeofhispaddleasmallisletaboutamileaheadofthecanoe——"thatistheplacewhereBabalatchipromisedthataboatfromtheprauwouldcomeformewhenthesunisoverhead。Wewillwaitforthatboatthere。"
Almayer,whowassteering,noddedwithoutspeaking,andbyaslightsweepofhispaddlelaidtheheadofthecanoeintherequireddirection。
TheywerejustleavingthesouthernoutletofthePantai,whichlaybehindtheminastraightandlongvistaofwatershiningbetweentwowallsofthickverdurethatrandownwardsandtowardseachother,tillatlasttheyjoinedandsanktogetherinthefar-awaydistance。Thesun,risingabovethecalmwatersoftheStraits,markeditsownpathbyastreakoflightthatglidedupontheseaanddartedupthewidereachoftheriver,ahurriedmessengeroflightandlifetothegloomyforestsofthecoast;
andinthisradianceofthesun'spathwayfloatedtheblackcanoeheadingfortheisletwhichlaybathedinsunshine,theyellowsandsofitsencirclingbeachshininglikeaninlaidgoldendisconthepolishedsteeloftheunwrinkledsea。Tothenorthandsouthofitroseotherislets,joyousintheirbrilliantcolouringofgreenandyellow,andonthemaincoastthesombrelineofmangrovebushesendedtothesouthwardinthereddishcliffsofTanjongMirrah,advancingintothesea,steepandshadowlessundertheclear,lightoftheearlymorning。
Thebottomofthecanoegrateduponthesandasthelittlecraftranuponthebeach。AlileapedonshoreandheldonwhileDainsteppedoutcarryingNinainhisarms,exhaustedbytheeventsandthelongtravellingduringthenight。Almayerwasthelasttoleavetheboat,andtogetherwithAliranithigheruponthebeach。ThenAli,tiredoutbythelongpaddling,laiddownintheshadeofthecanoe,andincontinentlyfellasleep。Almayersatsidewaysonthegunwale,andwithhisarmscrossedonhisbreast,lookedtothesouthwarduponthesea。
AftercarefullylayingNinadownintheshadeofthebushesgrowinginthemiddleoftheislet,Dainthrewhimselfbesideherandwatchedinsilentconcernthetearsthatrandownfromunderherclosedeyelids,andlostthemselvesinthatfinesanduponwhichtheybothwerelyingfacetoface。Thesetearsandthissorrowwereforhimaprofoundanddisquietingmystery。Now,whenthedangerwaspast,whyshouldshegrieve?Hedoubtedherlovenomorethanhewouldhavedoubtedthefactofhisownexistence,butashelaylookingardentlyinherface,watchinghertears,herpartedlips,herverybreath,hewasuneasilyconsciousofsomethinginherhecouldnotunderstand。Doubtlessshehadthewisdomofperfectbeings。Hesighed。Hefeltsomethinginvisiblethatstoodbetweenthem,somethingthatwouldlethimapproachhersofar,butnofarther。Nodesire,nolonging,noeffortofwillorlengthoflifecoulddestroythisvaguefeelingoftheirdifference。Withawebutalsowithgreatprideheconcludedthatitwasherownincomparableperfection。
Shewashis,andyetshewaslikeawomanfromanotherworld。
His!His!Heexultedinthegloriousthought;neverthelesshertearspainedhim。
Withawispofherownhairwhichhetookinhishandwithtimidreverencehetriedinanaccessofclumsytendernesstodrythetearsthattrembledonhereyelashes。Hehadhisrewardinafleetingsmilethatbrightenedherfacefortheshortfractionofasecond,butsoonthetearsfellfasterthanever,andhecouldbearitnomore。HeroseandwalkedtowardsAlmayer,whostillsatabsorbedinhiscontemplationofthesea。Itwasavery,verylongtimesincehehadseenthesea——thatseathatleadseverywhere,bringseverything,andtakesawaysomuch。Hehadalmostforgottenwhyhewasthere,anddreamilyhecouldseeallhispastlifeonthesmoothandboundlesssurfacethatglitteredbeforehiseyes。
Dain'shandlaidonAlmayer'sshoulderrecalledhimwithastartfromsomecountryveryfarawayindeed。Heturnedround,buthiseyesseemedtolookratherattheplacewhereDainstoodthanatthemanhimself。Dainfeltuneasyundertheunconsciousgaze。
第7章