Abellrang;itwasfordinner,andIwentdownstairs.MadameRadevintookmyarminaceremoniousmanner,andwepassedintothedining—room.
Afootmanwheeledintheoldmaninhisarmchair.Hegaveagreedyandcuriouslookatthedessert,asheturnedhisshakingheadwithdifficultyfromonedishtotheother.
Simonrubbedhishands:"Youwillbeamused,"hesaid;andallthechildrenunderstandingthatIwasgoingtobeindulgedwiththesightoftheirgreedygrandfather,begantolaugh,whiletheirmothermerelysmiledandshruggedhershoulders,andSimon,makingaspeakingtrumpetofhishands,shoutedattheoldman:"Thiseveningthereissweetcreamedrice!"Thewrinkledfaceofthegrandfatherbrightened,andhetrembledmoreviolently,fromheadtofoot,showingthathehadunderstoodandwasverypleased.Thedinnerbegan.
"Justlook!"Simonwhispered.Theoldmandidnotlikethesoup,andrefusedtoeatit;buthewasobligedtodoitforthegoodofhishealth,andthefootmanforcedthespoonintohismouth,whiletheoldmanblewsoenergetically,soasnottoswallowthesoup,thatitwasscatteredlikeasprayalloverthetableandoverhisneighbors.Thechildrenwrithedwithlaughteratthespectacle,whiletheirfather,whowasalsoamused,said:"Isnottheoldmancomical?"
Duringthewholemealtheyweretakenupsolelywithhim.Hedevouredthedishesonthetablewithhiseyes,andtriedtoseizethemandpullthemovertohimwithhistremblinghands.Theyputthemalmostwithinhisreach,toseehisuselessefforts,histremblingclutchesatthem,thepiteousappealofhiswholenature,ofhiseyes,ofhismouthandofhisnoseashesmeltthem,andheslobberedonhistablenapkinwitheagerness,whileutteringinarticulategrunts.Andthewholefamilywashighlyamusedatthishorribleandgrotesquescene.
Thentheyputatinymorselonhisplate,andheatewithfeverishgluttony,inordertogetsomethingmoreassoonaspossible,andwhenthesweetenedricewasbroughtin,henearlyhadafit,andgroanedwithgreediness,andGontrancalledouttohim:
"Youhaveeatentoomuchalready;youcanhavenomore."Andtheypretendednottogivehimany.Thenhebegantocry;hecriedandtrembledmoreviolentlythanever,whileallthechildrenlaughed.
Atlast,however,theygavehimhishelping,averysmallpiece;andasheatethefirstmouthful,hemadeacomicalnoiseinhisthroat,andamovementwithhisneckasducksdowhentheyswallowtoolargeamorsel,andwhenhehadswallowedit,hebegantostamphisfeet,soastogetmore.
IwasseizedwithpityforthissaddeningandridiculousTantalus,andinterposedonhisbehalf:
"Come,givehimalittlemorerice!"ButSimonreplied:"Oh!no,mydearfellow,ifheweretoeattoomuch,itwouldharmhim,athisage."
Iheldmytongue,andthoughtoverthosewords.Oh,ethics!Oh,logic!
Oh,wisdom!Athisage!Sotheydeprivedhimofhisonlyremainingpleasureoutofregardforhishealth!Hishealth!Whatwouldhedowithit,inertandtremblingwreckthathewas?Theyweretakingcareofhislife,sotheysaid.Hislife?Howmanydays?Ten,twenty,fifty,orahundred?Why?Forhisownsake?Ortopreserveforsometimelongerthespectacleofhisimpotentgreedinessinthefamily.
Therewasnothingleftforhimtodointhislife,nothingwhatever.
Hehadonesinglewishleft,onesolepleasure;whynotgranthimthatlastsolaceuntilhedied?
Afterwehadplayedcardsforalongtime,Iwentuptomyroomandtobed;Iwaslow—spiritedandsad,sad,sad!andIsatatmywindow.Notasoundcouldbeheardoutsidebutthebeautifulwarblingofabirdinatree,somewhereinthedistance.Nodoubtthebirdwassinginginalowvoiceduringthenight,tolullhismate,whowasasleeponhereggs.
AndIthoughtofmypoorfriend’sfivechildren,andpicturedhimtomyself,snoringbythesideofhisuglywife.
SUICIDES
ToGeorgesLegrand.
Hardlyadaygoesbywithoutourreadinganewsitemlikethefollowinginsomenewspaper:
"OnWednesdaynightthepeoplelivinginNo.40Ruede—————,wereawakenedbytwosuccessiveshots.TheexplosionsseemedtocomefromtheapartmentoccupiedbyM.X————.Thedoorwasbrokeninandthemanwasfoundbathedinhisblood,stillholdinginonehandtherevolverwithwhichhehadtakenhislife.
"M.X————wasfifty—sevenyearsofage,enjoyingacomfortableincome,andhadeverythingnecessarytomakehimhappy.Nocausecanbefoundforhisaction."
Whatterriblegrief,whatunknownsuffering,hiddendespair,secretwoundsdrivethesepresumablyhappypersonstosuicide?Wesearch,weimaginetragediesoflove,wesuspectfinancialtroubles,and,asweneverfindanythingdefinite,weapplytothesedeathstheword"mystery."
Aletterfoundonthedeskofoneofthese"suicideswithoutcause,"andwrittenduringhislastnight,besidehisloadedrevolver,hascomeintoourhands.Wedeemitratherinteresting.Itrevealsnoneofthosegreatcatastropheswhichwealwaysexpecttofindbehindtheseactsofdespair;butitshowsustheslowsuccessionofthelittlevexationsoflife,thedisintegrationofalonelyexistence,whosedreamshavedisappeared;itgivesthereasonforthesetragicends,whichonlynervousandhighstrungpeoplecanunderstand.
Hereitis:
"Itismidnight.WhenIhavefinishedthisletterIshallkillmyself.
Why?Ishallattempttogivethereasons,notforthosewhomayreadtheselines,butformyself,tokindlemywaningcourage,toimpressuponmyselfthefatalnecessityofthisactwhichcan,atbest,beonlydeferred.
"Iwasbroughtupbysimple—mindedparentswhowereunquestioningbelievers.AndIbelievedastheydid.
"Mydreamlastedalongtime.Thelastveilhasjustbeentornfrommyeyes.
"Duringthelastfewyearsastrangechangehasbeentakingplacewithinme.AlltheeventsofLife,whichformerlyhadtometheglowofabeautifulsunset,arenowfadingaway.Thetruemeaningofthingshasappearedtomeinitsbrutalreality;andthetruereasonforlovehasbredinmedisgustevenforthispoeticsentiment:’Wearetheeternaltoysoffoolishandcharmingillusions,whicharealwaysbeingrenewed.’
"Ongrowingolder,Ihadbecomepartlyreconciledtotheawfulmysteryoflife,totheuselessnessofeffort;whentheemptinessofeverythingappearedtomeinanewlight,thisevening,afterdinner.
"Formerly,Iwashappy!Everythingpleasedme:thepassingwomen,theappearanceofthestreets,theplacewhereIlived;andIeventookaninterestinthecutofmyclothes.Buttherepetitionofthesamesightshashadtheresultoffillingmyheartwithwearinessanddisgust,justasonewouldfeelwereonetogoeverynighttothesametheatre.
"ForthelastthirtyyearsIhavebeenrisingatthesamehour;and,atthesamerestaurant,forthirtyyears,Ihavebeeneatingatthesamehoursthesamedishesbroughtmebydifferentwaiters.
"Ihavetriedtravel.Thelonelinesswhichonefeelsinstrangeplacesterrifiedme.Ifeltsoalone,sosmallontheearththatIquicklystartedonmyhomewardjourney.
"Butheretheunchangingexpressionofmyfurniture,whichhasstoodforthirtyyearsinthesameplace,thesmellofmyapartments(for,withtime,eachdwellingtakesonaparticularodor)eachnight,theseandotherthingsdisgustmeandmakemesickoflivingthus.
"Everythingrepeatsitselfendlessly.ThewayinwhichIputmykeyinthelock,theplacewhereIalwaysfindmymatches,thefirstobjectwhichmeetsmyeyewhenIentertheroom,makemefeellikejumpingoutofthewindowandputtinganendtothosemonotonouseventsfromwhichwecanneverescape.
"Eachday,whenIshave,Ifeelaninordinatedesiretocutmythroat;
andmyface,whichIseeinthelittlemirror,alwaysthesame,withsoaponmycheeks,hasseveraltimesmademeweakfromsadness.
"NowIevenhatetobewithpeoplewhomIusedtomeetwithpleasure;I
knowthemsowell,IcantelljustwhattheyaregoingtosayandwhatI
amgoingtoanswer.Eachbrainislikeacircus,wherethesamehorsekeepscirclingaroundeternally.Wemustcircleroundalways,aroundthesameideas,thesamejoys,thesamepleasures,thesamehabits,thesamebeliefs,thesamesensationsofdisgust.
"Thefogwasterriblethisevening.Itenfoldedtheboulevard,wherethestreetlightsweredimmedandlookedlikesmokingcandles.Aheavierweightthanusualoppressedme.Perhapsmydigestionwasbad.
"Forgooddigestioniseverythinginlife.Itgivestheinspirationtotheartist,amorousdesirestoyoungpeople,clearideastothinkers,thejoyoflifetoeverybody,anditalsoallowsonetoeatheartily(whichisoneofthegreatestpleasures).Asickstomachinducesscepticismunbelief,nightmaresandthedesirefordeath.Ihaveoftennoticedthisfact.PerhapsIwouldnotkillmyself,ifmydigestionhadbeengoodthisevening.
"WhenIsatdowninthearm—chairwhereIhavebeensittingeverydayforthirtyyears,Iglancedaroundme,andjustthenIwasseizedbysuchaterribledistressthatIthoughtImustgomad.
"ItriedtothinkofwhatIcoulddotorunawayfrommyself.Everyoccupationstruckmeasbeingworseeventhaninaction.ThenIbethoughtmeofputtingmypapersinorder.
"ForalongtimeIhavebeenthinkingofclearingoutmydrawers;for,forthelastthirtyyears,Ihavebeenthrowingmylettersandbillspell—mellintothesamedesk,andthisconfusionhasoftencausedmeconsiderabletrouble.ButIfeelsuchmoralandphysicallazinessatthesoleideaofputtinganythinginorderthatIhaveneverhadthecouragetobeginthistediousbusiness.
"Ithereforeopenedmydesk,intendingtochooseamongmyoldpapersanddestroythemajorityofthem.
"AtfirstIwasbewilderedbythisarrayofdocuments,yellowedbyage,thenIchoseone.
"Oh!ifyoucherishlife,neverdisturbtheburialplaceofoldletters!
"Andif,perchance,youshould,takethecontentsbythehandful,closeyoureyesthatyoumaynotreadaword,sothatyoumaynotrecognizesomeforgottenhandwritingwhichmayplungeyousuddenlyintoaseaofmemories;carrythesepaperstothefire;andwhentheyareinashes,crushthemtoaninvisiblepowder,orotherwiseyouarelost——justasI
havebeenlostforanhour.
"ThefirstletterswhichIreaddidnotinterestmegreatly.Theywererecent,andcamefromlivingmenwhomIstillmeetquiteoften,andwhosepresencedoesnotmovemetoanygreatextent.Butallatonceoneenvelopemademestart.Mynamewastracedonitinalarge,boldhandwriting;andsuddenlytearscametomyeyes.Thatletterwasfrommydearestfriend,thecompanionofmyyouth,theconfidantofmyhopes;andheappearedbeforemesoclearly,withhispleasantsmileandhishandoutstretched,thatacoldshiverrandownmyback.Yes,yes,thedeadcomeback,forIsawhim!Ourmemoryisamoreperfectworldthantheuniverse:itgivesbacklifetothosewhonolongerexist.
"WithtremblinghandanddimmedeyesIrereadeverythingthathetoldme,andinmypoorsobbingheartIfeltawoundsopainfulthatIbegantogroanasamanwhosebonesareslowlybeingcrushed.
"ThenItravelledovermywholelife,justasonetravelsalongariver.
Irecognizedpeople,solongforgottenthatInolongerknewtheirnames.
Theirfacesalonelivedinme.Inmymother’slettersIsawagaintheoldservants,theshapeofourhouseandthelittleinsignificantoddsandendswhichclingtoourminds.
"Yes,Isuddenlysawagainallmymother’soldgowns,thedifferentstyleswhichsheadoptedandtheseveralwaysinwhichshedressedherhair.Shehauntedmeespeciallyinasilkdress,trimmedwitholdlace;
andIrememberedsomethingshesaidonedaywhenshewaswearingthisdress.Shesaid:’Robert,mychild,ifyoudonotstandupstraightyouwillberound—shoulderedallyourlife.’
"Then,openinganotherdrawer,Ifoundmyselffacetofacewithmemoriesoftenderpassions:adancing—pump,atornhandkerchief,evenagarter,locksofhairanddriedflowers.Thenthesweetromancesofmylife,whoselivingheroinesarenowwhite—haired,plungedmeintothedeepmelancholyofthings.Oh,theyoungbrowswhereblondlockscurl,thecaressofthehands,theglancewhichspeaks,theheartswhichbeat,thatsmilewhichpromisesthelips,thoselipswhichpromisetheembrace!
Andthefirstkiss—thatendlesskisswhichmakesyoucloseyoureyes,whichdrownsallthoughtintheimmeasurablejoyofapproachingpossession!
"Takingtheseoldpledgesofformerloveinbothmyhands,Icoveredthemwithfuriouscaresses,andinmysoul,tornbythesememories,Isawthemeachagainatthehourofsurrender;andIsufferedatorturemorecruelthanallthetorturesinventedinallthefablesabouthell.
"Onelastletterremained.Itwaswrittenbymeanddictatedfiftyyearsagobymywritingteacher.Hereitis:
"’MYDEARLITTLEMAMMA:
"’Iamsevenyearsoldto—day.Itistheageofreason.Itakeadvantageofittothankyouforhavingbroughtmeintothisworld.
"’Yourlittleson,wholovesyou"’ROBERT.’
"Itisallover.Ihadgonebacktothebeginning,andsuddenlyIturnedmyglanceonwhatremainedtomeoflife.Isawhideousandlonelyoldage,andapproachinginfirmities,andeverythingoverandgone.Andnobodynearme!
"Myrevolverishere,onthetable.IamloadingitNeverrereadyouroldletters!"
Andthatishowmanymencometokillthemselves;andwesearchinvaintodiscoversomegreatsorrowintheirlives.
ANARTIFICE
Theolddoctorsatbythefireside,talkingtohisfairpatientwhowaslyingonthelounge.Therewasnothingmuchthematterwithher,exceptthatshehadoneofthoselittlefeminineailmentsfromwhichprettywomenfrequentlysuffer——slightanaemia,anervousattack,etc.
"No,doctor,"shesaid;"Ishallneverbeabletounderstandawomandeceivingherhusband.Evenallowingthatshedoesnotlovehim,thatshepaysnoheedtohervowsandpromises,howcanshegiveherselftoanotherman?Howcansheconcealtheintriguefromotherpeople’seyes?
Howcanitbepossibletoloveamidliesandtreason?"
Thedoctorsmiled,andreplied:"Itisperfectlyeasy,andIcanassureyouthatawomandoesnotthinkofallthoselittlesubtledetailswhenshehasmadeuphermindtogoastray.
"Asfordissimulation,allwomenhaveplentyofitonhandforsuchoccasions,andthesimplestofthemarewonderful,andextricatethemselvesfromthegreatestdilemmasinaremarkablemanner."
Theyoungwoman,however,seemedincredulous.
"No,doctor,"shesaid;"oneneverthinksuntilafterithashappenedofwhatoneoughttohavedoneinacriticalsituation,andwomenarecertainlymoreliablethanmentolosetheirheadonsuchoccasions:"
Thedoctorraisedhishands."Afterithashappened,yousay!NowI
willtellyousomethingthathappenedtooneofmyfemalepatients,whomIalwaysconsideredanimmaculatewoman.
"Ithappenedinaprovincialtown,andonenightwhenIwasasleep,inthatdeepfirstsleepfromwhichitissodifficulttorouseus,itseemedtome,inmydreams,asifthebellsinthetownweresoundingafirealarm,andIwokeupwithastart.Itwasmyownbell,whichwasringingwildly,andasmyfootmandidnotseemtobeansweringthedoor,I,inturn,pulledthebellattheheadofmybed,andsoonIheardabanging,andstepsinthesilenthouse,andJeancameintomyroom,andhandedmealetterwhichsaid:’MadameLelievrebegsDr.Simeontocometoherimmediately.’
"Ithoughtforafewmoments,andthenIsaidtomyself:’Anervousattack,vapors;nonsense,Iamtootired.’AndsoIreplied:’AsDr.
Simeonisnotatallwell,hemustbegMadameLelievretobekindenoughtocallinhiscolleague,MonsieurBonnet.’Iputthenoteintoanenvelopeandwenttosleepagain,butabouthalfanhourlaterthestreetbellrangagain,andJeancametomeandsaid:’Thereissomebodydownstairs;Idonotquiteknowwhetheritisamanorawoman,astheindividualissowrappedup,buttheywishtospeaktoyouimmediately.
Theysayitisamatteroflifeanddeathfortwopeople.’WhereuponI
satupinbedandtoldhimtoshowthepersonin.
"AkindofblackphantomappearedandraisedherveilassoonasJeanhadlefttheroom.ItwasMadameBertheLelievre,quiteayoungwoman,whohadbeenmarriedforthreeyearstoalargeamerchantinthetown,whowassaidtohavemarriedtheprettiestgirlintheneighborhood.
"Shewasterriblypale,herfacewascontractedasthefacesofinsanepeopleare,occasionally,andherhandstrembledviolently.Twiceshetriedtospeakwithoutbeingabletoutterasound,butatlastshestammeredout:’Come——quick——quick,doctor.Come——my——friendhasjustdiedinmybedroom.’Shestopped,halfsuffocatedwithemotion,andthenwenton:’Myhusbandwillbecominghomefromtheclubverysoon.’
"IjumpedoutofbedwithoutevenconsideringthatIwasonlyinmynightshirt,anddressedmyselfinafewmoments,andthenIsaid:’Didyoucomeashorttimeago?’’No,’shesaid,standinglikeastatuepetrifiedwithhorror.’Itwasmyservant——sheknows.’Andthen,afterashortsilence,shewenton:’Iwasthere——byhisside.’Andsheutteredasortofcryofhorror,andafterafitofchoking,whichmadehergasp,sheweptviolently,andshookwithspasmodicsobsforaminute:
ortwo.Thenhertearssuddenlyceased,asifbyaninternalfire,andwithanairoftragiccalmness,shesaid:’Letusmakehaste.’
"Iwasready,butexclaimed:’Iquiteforgottoordermycarriage.’
’Ihaveone,’shesaid;’itishis,whichwaswaitingforhim!’Shewrappedherselfup,soastocompletelyconcealherface,andwestarted.
"Whenshewasbymysideinthecarriageshesuddenlyseizedmyhand,andcrushingitinherdelicatefingers,shesaid,withashakingvoice,thatproceededfromadistractedheart:’Oh!ifyouonlyknew,ifyouonlyknewwhatIamsuffering!Ilovedhim,Ihavelovedhimdistractedly,likeamadwoman,forthelastsixmonths.’’Isanyoneupinyourhouse?’
Iasked.’No,nobodyexceptthose,whoknowseverything.’
"Westoppedatthedoor,andevidentlyeverybodywasasleep.Wewentinwithoutmakinganynoise,bymeansofherlatch—key,andwalkedupstairsontiptoe.Thefrightenedservantwassittingonthetopofthestairswithalightedcandlebyherside,asshewasafraidtoremainwiththedeadman,andIwentintotheroom,whichwasingreatdisorder.Wettowels,withwhichtheyhadbathedtheyoungman’stemples,werelyingonthefloor,bythesideofawashbasinandaglass,whileastrongsmellofvinegarpervadedtheroom.
"Thedeadman’sbodywaslyingatfulllengthinthemiddleoftheroom,andIwentuptoit,lookedatit,andtouchedit.Iopenedtheeyesandfeltthehands,andthen,turningtothetwowomen,whowereshakingasiftheywerefreezing,Isaidtothem:’Helpmetolifthimontothebed.’Whenwehadlaidhimgentlyonit,Ilistenedtohisheartandputalooking—glasstohislips,andthensaid:’Itisallover.’Itwasaterriblesight!
"Ilookedattheman,andsaid:’Yououghttoarrangehishairalittle.’
Thegirlwentandbroughthermistress’combandbrush,butasshewastrembling,andpullingouthislong,mattedhairindoingit,MadameLelievretookthecomboutofherhand,andarrangedhishairasifshewerecaressinghim.Shepartedit,brushedhisbeard,rolledhismustachesgentlyroundherfingers,then,suddenly,lettinggoofhishair,shetookthedeadman’sinertheadinherhandsandlookedforalongtimeindespairatthedeadface,whichnolongercouldsmileather,andthen,throwingherselfonhim,sheclaspedhiminherarmsandkissedhimardently.Herkissesfelllikeblowsonhisclosedmouthandeyes,hisforeheadandtemples;andthen,puttingherlipstohisear,asifhecouldstillhearher,andasifshewereabouttowhispersomethingtohim,shesaidseveraltimes,inaheartrendingvoice:
’Good—by,mydarling!’
"Justthentheclockstrucktwelve,andIstartedup.’Twelveo’clock!’
Iexclaimed.’Thatisthetimewhentheclubcloses.Come,madame,wehavenotamomenttolose!’Shestartedup,andIsaid:
’Wemustcarryhimintothedrawing—room.’Andwhenwehaddonethis,Iplacedhimonasofa,andlitthechandeliers,andjustthenthefrontdoorwasopenedandshutnoisily.’Rose,bringmethebasinandthetowels,andmaketheroomlooktidy.Makehaste,forHeaven’ssake!
MonsieurLelievreiscomingin.’
"Iheardhisstepsonthestairs,andthenhishandsfeelingalongthewalls.’Comehere,mydearfellow,’Isaid;’wehavehadanaccident.’
"Andtheastonishedhusbandappearedinthedoorwithacigarinhismouth,andsaid:’Whatisthematter?Whatisthemeaningofthis?’
’Mydearfriend,’Isaid,goinguptohim,’youfindusingreatembarrassment.Ihadremainedlate,chattingwithyourwifeandourfriend,whohadbroughtmeinhiscarriage,whenhesuddenlyfainted,andinspiteofallwehavedone,hehasremainedunconsciousfortwohours.
Ididnotliketocallinstrangers,andifyouwillnowhelpmedownstairswithhim,Ishallbeabletoattendtohimbetterathisownhouse.’
"Thehusband,whowassurprised,butquiteunsuspicious,tookoffhishat,andthenhetookhisrival,whowouldbequiteinoffensiveforthefuture,underthearms.Igotbetweenhistwolegs,asifIhadbeenahorsebetweentheshafts,andwewentdownstairs,whilehiswifeheldalightforus.WhenwegotoutsideIstoodthebodyup,soastodeceivethecoachman,andsaid:’Come,myfriend;itisnothing;youfeelbetteralreadyIexpect.Pluckupyourcourage,andmakeaneffort.Itwillsoonbeover.’ButasIfeltthathewasslippingoutofmyhands,I
gavehimaslapontheshoulder,whichsenthimforwardandmadehimfallintothecarriage,andthenIgotinafterhim.MonsieurLelievre,whowasratheralarmed,saidtome:’Doyouthinkitisanythingserious?’
TowhichIreplied:’No,’withasmile,asIlookedathiswife,whohadputherarmintothatofherhusband,andwastryingtoseeintothecarriage.
"Ishookhandswiththemandtoldmycoachmantostart,andduringthewholedrivethedeadmankeptfallingagainstme.WhenwegottohishouseIsaidthathehadbecomeunconsciousonthewayhome,andhelpedtocarryhimupstairs,whereIcertifiedthathewasdead,andactedanothercomedytohisdistractedfamily,andatlastIgotbacktobed,notwithoutswearingatlovers."
Thedoctorceased,thoughhewasstillsmiling,andtheyoungwoman,whowasinaverynervousstate,said:"Whyhaveyoutoldmethatterriblestory?"
Hegaveheragallantbow,andreplied:
"SothatImayofferyoumyservicesiftheyshouldbeneeded."
DREAMS
Theyhadjustdinedtogether,fiveoldfriends,awriter,adoctorandthreerichbachelorswithoutanyprofession.
Theyhadtalkedabouteverything,andafeelingoflassitudecameoverthem,thatfeelingwhichprecedesandleadstothedepartureofguestsafterfestivegatherings.Oneofthosepresent,whohadforthelastfiveminutesbeengazingsilentlyatthesurgingboulevarddottedwithgas—lamps,withitsrattlingvehicles,saidsuddenly:
"Whenyou’venothingtodofrommorningtillnight,thedaysarelong."
"Andthenightstoo,"assentedtheguestwhosatnexttohim."Isleepverylittle;pleasuresfatigueme;conversationismonotonous.NeverdoIcomeacrossanewidea,andIfeel,beforetalkingtoanyone,aviolentlongingtosaynothingandtolistentonothing.Idon’tknowwhattodowithmyevenings."
Thethirdidlerremarked:
"Iwouldpayagreatdealforanythingthatwouldhelpmetopassjusttwopleasanthourseveryday."
Thewriter,whohadjustthrownhisovercoatacrosshisarm,turnedroundtothem,andsaid:
"Themanwhocoulddiscoveranewviceandintroduceitamonghisfellowcreatures,evenifitweretoshortentheirlives,wouldrenderagreaterservicetohumanitythanthemanwhofoundthemeansofsecuringtothemeternalsalvationandeternalyouth."
Thedoctorburstoutlaughing,and,whilehechewedhiscigar,hesaid:
"Yes,butitisnotsoeasytodiscoverit.Menhavehowevercrudely,beenseekingfor——andworkingfortheobjectyourefertosincethebeginningoftheworld.Themenwhocamefirstreachedperfectionatonceinthisway.Wearehardlyequaltothem."
Oneofthethreeidlersmurmured:
"Whatapity!"
Then,afteraminute’spause,headded:
"Ifwecouldonlysleep,sleepwell,withoutfeelinghotorcold,sleepwiththatperfectunconsciousnessweexperienceonnightswhenwearethoroughlyfatigued,sleepwithoutdreams."
"Whywithoutdreams?"askedtheguestsittingnexttohim.
Theotherreplied:
"Becausedreamsarenotalwayspleasant;theyarealwaysfantastic,improbable,disconnected;andbecausewhenweareasleepwecannothavethesortofdreamswelike.Weoughttodreamwaking."
"Andwhat’stopreventyou?"askedthewriter.
Thedoctorflungawaytheendofhiscigar.
"Mydearfellow,inordertodreamwhenyouareawake,youneedgreatpowerandgreatexerciseofwill,andwhenyoutrytodoit,greatwearinessistheresult.Now,realdreaming,thatjourneyofourthoughtsthroughdelightfulvisions,isassuredlythesweetestexperienceintheworld;butitmustcomenaturally,itmustnotbeprovokedinapainful,manner,andmustbeaccompaniedbyabsolutebodilycomfort.
ThispowerofdreamingIcangiveyou,providedyoupromisethatyouwillnotabuseit."
Thewritershruggedhisshoulders:
"Ah!yes,Iknow——hasheesh,opium,greentea——artificialparadises.
IhavereadBaudelaire,andIeventastedthefamousdrug,whichmademeverysick."
Butthedoctor,withoutstirringfromhisseat,said:
"No;ether,nothingbutether;andIwouldsuggestthatyouliterarymenshoulduseitsometimes."
Thethreerichbachelorsdrewclosertothedoctor.
Oneofthemsaid:
"Explaintoustheeffectsofit."
Andthedoctorreplied:
"Letusputasidebigwords,shallwenot?Iamnottalkingofmedicineormorality;Iamtalkingofpleasure.Yougiveyourselvesupeverydaytoexcesseswhichconsumeyourlives.Iwanttoindicatetoyouanewsensation,possibleonlytointelligentmen——letussayevenveryintelligentmen——dangerous,likeeverythingelsethatoverexcitesourorgans,butexquisite.Imightaddthatyouwouldrequireacertainpreparation,thatistosay,practice,tofeelinalltheircompletenessthesingulareffectsofether.
"Theyaredifferentfromtheeffectsofhasheesh,ofopium,ormorphia,andtheyceaseassoonastheabsorptionofthedrugisinterrupted,whiletheothergeneratorsofdaydreamscontinuetheiractionforhours.
"Iamnowgoingtotrytoanalyzethesefeelingsasclearlyaspossible.
Butthethingisnoteasy,sofacile,sodelicate,soalmostimperceptible,arethesesensations.
"ItwaswhenIwasattackedbyviolentneuralgiathatImadeuseofthisremedy,whichsincethenIhave,perhaps,slightlyabused.
"Ihadacutepainsinmyheadandneck,andanintolerableheatoftheskin,afeverishrestlessness.Itookupalargebottleofether,and,lyingdown,Ibegantoinhaleitslowly.
"AttheendofsomeminutesIthoughtIheardavaguemurmur,whicherelongbecameasortofhumming,anditseemedtomethatalltheinteriorofmybodyhadbecomelight,lightasair,thatitwasdissolvingintovapor.
"Thencameasortoftorpor,asleepysensationofcomfort,inspiteofthepainswhichstillcontinued,butwhichhadceasedtomakethemselvesfelt.Itwasoneofthosesensationswhichwearewillingtoendureandnotanyofthosefrightfulwrenchesagainstwhichourtorturedbodyprotests.
"SoonthestrangeanddelightfulsenseofemptinesswhichIfeltinmychestextendedtomylimbs,which,intheirturn,becamelight,aslightasifthefleshandtheboneshadbeenmeltedandtheskinonlywereleft,theskinnecessarytoenablemetorealizethesweetnessofliving,ofbathinginthissensationofwell—being.ThenIperceivedthatIwasnolongersuffering.Thepainhadgone,meltedaway,evaporated.AndI
heardvoices,fourvoices,twodialogues,withoutunderstandingwhatwassaid.Atonetimetherewereonlyindistinctsounds,atanothertimeawordreachedmyear.ButIrecognizedthatthiswasonlythehummingI
hadheardbefore,butemphasized.Iwasnotasleep;Iwasnotawake;I
comprehended,Ifelt,Ireasonedwiththeutmostclearnessanddepth,withextraordinaryenergyandintellectualpleasure,withasingularintoxicationarisingfromthisseparationofmymentalfaculties.
"Itwasnotlikethedreamscausedbyhasheeshorthesomewhatsicklyvisionsthatcomefromopium;itwasanamazingacutenessofreasoning,anewwayofseeing,judgingandappreciatingthethingsoflife,andwiththecertainty,theabsoluteconsciousnessthatthiswasthetrueway.
"AndtheoldimageoftheScripturessuddenlycamebacktomymind.
ItseemedtomethatIhadtastedoftheTreeofKnowledge,thatallthemysterieswereunveiled,somuchdidIfindmyselfundertheswayofanew,strangeandirrefutablelogic.Andarguments,reasonings,proofsroseupinaheapbeforemybrainonlytobeimmediatelydisplacedbysomestrongerproof,reasoning,argument.Myheadhad,infact,becomeabattlegroundofideas.Iwasasuperiorbeing,armedwithinvincibleintelligence,andIexperiencedahugedelightatthemanifestationofmypower.
"Itlastedalong,longtime.Istillkeptinhalingtheetherfrommyflagon.SuddenlyIperceivedthatitwasempty."
Thefourmenexclaimedatthesametime:
"Doctor,aprescriptionatonceforaliterofether!"
Butthedoctor,puttingonhishat,replied:
"Astothat,certainlynot;goandletsomeoneelsepoisonyou!"
Andheleftthem.
Ladiesandgentlemen,whatisyouropiniononthesubject?
SIMON’SPAPA
Noonhadjuststruck.Theschooldooropenedandtheyoungstersdartedout,jostlingeachotherintheirhastetogetoutquickly.Butinsteadofpromptlydispersingandgoinghometodinnerasusual,theystoppedafewpacesoff,brokeupintoknots,andbeganwhispering.
Thefactwasthat,thatmorning,Simon,thesonofLaBlanchotte,had,forthefirsttime,attendedschool.
TheyhadallofthemintheirfamiliesheardtalkofLaBlanchotte;and,althoughinpublicshewaswelcomeenough,themothersamongthemselvestreatedherwithasomewhatdisdainfulcompassion,whichthechildrenhadimitatedwithoutintheleastknowingwhy.
AsforSimonhimself,theydidnotknowhim,forheneverwentout,anddidnotrunaboutwiththeminthestreetsofthevillage,oralongthebanksoftheriver.Andtheydidnotcareforhim;soitwaswithacertaindelight,mingledwithconsiderableastonishment,thattheymetandrepeatedtoeachotherwhathadbeensaidbyaladoffourteenorfifteenwhoappearedtoknowallaboutit,sosagaciouslydidhewink.
"Youknow——Simon——well,hehasnopapa."
JustthenLaBlanchotte’ssonappearedinthedoorwayoftheschool.
Hewassevenoreightyearsold,ratherpale,veryneat,withatimidandalmostawkwardmanner.
Hewasstartinghometohismother’shousewhenthegroupsofhisschoolmates,whisperingandwatchinghimwiththemischievousandheartlesseyesofchildrenbentuponplayinganastytrick,graduallyclosedinaroundhimandendedbysurroundinghimaltogether.Therehestoodintheirmidst,surprisedandembarrassed,notunderstandingwhattheyweregoingtodowithhim.Buttheladwhohadbroughtthenews,puffedupwiththesuccesshehadmetwithalready,demanded:
"Whatisyourname,you?"
Heanswered:"Simon."
"Simonwhat?"retortedtheother.
Thechild,altogetherbewildered,repeated:"Simon."
Theladshoutedathim:"OneisnamedSimonsomething——thatisnotaname——Simonindeed."
Thechild,onthebrinkoftears,repliedforthethirdtime:
"MynameisSimon."
Theurchinsbegantolaugh.Thetriumphanttormentorcried:"Youcanseeplainlythathehasnopapa."
Adeepsilenceensued.Thechildrenweredumfoundedbythisextraordinary,impossible,monstrousthing——aboywhohadnotapapa;
theylookeduponhimasaphenomenon,anunnaturalbeing,andtheyfeltthathithertoinexplicablecontemptoftheirmothersforLaBlanchottegrowinguponthem.AsforSimon,hehadleanedagainstatreetoavoidfalling,andheremainedasifprostratedbyanirreparabledisaster.
Hesoughttoexplain,butcouldthinkofnothing—tosaytorefutethishorriblechargethathehadnopapa.Atlastheshoutedatthemquiterecklessly:"Yes,Ihaveone."
"Whereishe?"demandedtheboy.
Simonwassilent,hedidnotknow.Thechildrenroared,tremendouslyexcited;andthosecountryboys,littlemorethananimals,experiencedthatcruelcravingwhichpromptsthefowlsofafarmyardtodestroyoneoftheirnumberassoonasitiswounded.Simonsuddenlyespiedalittleneighbor,thesonofawidow,whomhehadseen,ashehimselfwastobeseen,alwaysalonewithhismother.
"Andnomorehaveyou,"hesaid;"nomorehaveyouapapa."
"Yes,"repliedtheother,"Ihaveone."
"Whereishe?"rejoinedSimon.
"Heisdead,"declaredthebrat,withsuperbdignity;"heisinthecemetery,ismypapa."
Amurmurofapprovalroseamongthelittlewretchesasifthisfactofpossessingapapadeadinacemeteryhadcausedtheircomradetogrowbigenoughtocrushtheotheronewhohadnopapaatall.Andtheseboys,whosefatherswereforthemostpartbadmen,drunkards,thieves,andwhobeattheirwives,jostledeachothertopresscloserandcloser,asthoughthey,thelegitimateones,wouldsmotherbytheirpressureonewhowasillegitimate.
TheboywhochancedtobenextSimonsuddenlyputhistongueoutathimwithamockingairandshoutedathim:
"Nopapa!Nopapa!"
Simonseizedhimbythehairwithbothhandsandsettoworktodisablehislegswithkicks,whilehebithischeekferociously.Atremendousstruggleensuedbetweenthetwocombatants,andSimonfoundhimselfbeaten,torn,bruised,rolledonthegroundinthemidstoftheringofapplaudingschoolboys.Ashearose,mechanicallybrushingwithhishandhislittleblouseallcoveredwithdust,someoneshoutedathim:
"Goandtellyourpapa."
Thenhefeltagreatsinkingathisheart.Theywerestrongerthanhewas,theyhadbeatenhim,andhehadnoanswertogivethem,forheknewwellthatitwastruethathehadnopapa.Fullofpride,heattemptedforsomemomentstostruggleagainstthetearswhichwerechokinghim.
Hehadafeelingofsuffocation,andthenwithoutanysoundhecommencedtoweep,withgreatshakingsobs.Aferociousjoybrokeoutamonghisenemies,and,withoneaccord,justlikesavagesintheirfearfulfestivals,theytookeachotherbythehandanddancedroundhiminacircle,repeatingasarefrain:
"Nopapa!Nopapa!"
ButsuddenlySimonceasedsobbing.Hebecameferocious.Therewerestonesunderhisfeet;hepickedthemupandwithallhisstrengthhurledthemathistormentors.Twoorthreewerestruckandrushedoffyelling,andsoformidabledidheappearthattherestbecamepanic—stricken.
Cowards,asthemobalwaysisinpresenceofanexasperatedman,theybrokeupandfled.Leftalone,thelittlefellowwithoutafathersetoffrunningtowardthefields,forarecollectionhadbeenawakenedinhimwhichdeterminedhissoultoagreatresolve.Hemadeuphismindtodrownhimselfintheriver.
Heremembered,infact,thateightdaysbefore,apoordevilwhobeggedforhislivelihoodhadthrownhimselfintothewaterbecausehehadnomoremoney.Simonhadbeentherewhentheyfishedhimoutagain;andthewretchedman,whousuallyseemedtohimsomiserable,andugly,hadthenstruckhimasbeingsopeacefulwithhispalecheeks,hislongdrenchedbeard,andhisopeneyesfullofcalm.Thebystandershadsaid:
"Heisdead."
Andsomeonehadsaid:
"Heisquitehappynow."
AndSimonwishedtodrownhimselfalso,becausehehadnofather,justlikethewretchedbeingwhohadnomoney.
Hereachedthewaterandwatcheditflowing.Somefishweresportingbrisklyintheclearstreamandoccasionallymadealittleboundandcaughtthefliesflyingonthesurface.Hestoppedcryinginordertowatchthem,fortheirmaneuversinterestedhimgreatly.But,atintervals,asinatempestintervalsofcalmalternatesuddenlywithtremendousgustsofwind,whichsnapoffthetreesandthenlosethemselvesinthehorizon,thisthoughtwouldreturntohimwithintensepain:
"IamgoingtodrownmyselfbecauseIhavenopapa."
Itwasverywarm,fineweather.Thepleasantsunshinewarmedthegrass.
Thewatershonelikeamirror.AndSimonenjoyedsomeminutesofhappiness,ofthatlanguorwhichfollowsweeping,andfeltinclinedtofallasleepthereuponthegrassinthewarmsunshine.
Alittlegreenfrogleapedfromunderhisfeet.Heendeavoredtocatchit.Itescapedhim.Hefolloweditandlostitthreetimesinsuccession.Atlasthecaughtitbyoneofitshindlegsandbegantolaughashesawtheeffortsthecreaturemadetoescape.Itgathereditselfuponitshindlegsandthenwithaviolentspringsuddenlystretchedthemoutasstiffastwobars;whileitbeattheairwithitsfrontlegsasthoughtheywerehands,itsroundeyesstaringintheircircleofyellow.Itremindedhimofatoymadeofstraightslipsofwoodnailedzigzagoneontheother;whichbyasimilarmovementregulatedthemovementsofthelittlesoldiersfastenedthereon.Thenhethoughtofhishome,andthenofhismother,and,overcomebysorrow,heagainbegantoweep.Ashiverpassedoverhim.Hekneltdownandsaidhisprayersasbeforegoingtobed.Buthewasunabletofinishthem,fortumultuous,violentsobsshookhiswholeframe.Henolongerthought,henolongersawanythingaroundhim,andwaswhollyabsorbedincrying.
Suddenlyaheavyhandwasplaceduponhisshoulder,andaroughvoiceaskedhim:
"Whatisitthatcausesyousomuchgrief,mylittleman?"
Simonturnedround.Atallworkmanwithabeardandblackcurlyhairwasstaringathimgood—naturedly.Heansweredwithhiseyesandthroatfulloftears:
"Theybeatme——because——I——Ihaveno——papa——nopapa."
"What!"saidtheman,smiling;"why,everybodyhasone."
Thechildansweredpainfullyamidhisspasmsofgrief:
"ButI——I——Ihavenone."
Thentheworkmanbecameserious.HehadrecognizedLaBlanchotte’sson,and,althoughhimselfanewarrivalintheneighborhood,hehadavagueideaofherhistory.
"Well,"saidhe,"consoleyourself,myboy,andcomewithmehometoyourmother.Theywillgiveyou——apapa."
Andsotheystartedontheway,thebigfellowholdingthelittlefellowbythehand,andthemansmiled,forhewasnotsorrytoseethisBlanchotte,whowas,itwassaid,oneoftheprettiestgirlsofthecountryside,and,perhaps,hewassayingtohimself,atthebottomofhisheart,thatalasswhohaderredmightverywellerragain.
Theyarrivedinfrontofaveryneatlittlewhitehouse.
"Thereitis,"exclaimedthechild,andhecried,"Mamma!"
Awomanappeared,andtheworkmaninstantlyleftoffsmiling,forhesawatoncethattherewasnofoolingtobedonewiththetallpalegirlwhostoodausterelyatherdoorasthoughtodefendfromonemanthethresholdofthathousewhereshehadalreadybeenbetrayedbyanother.
Intimidated,hiscapinhishand,hestammeredout:
"See,madame,Ihavebroughtyoubackyourlittleboywhohadlosthimselfneartheriver."
ButSimonflunghisarmsabouthismother’sneckandtoldher,asheagainbegantocry:
"No,mamma,Iwishedtodrownmyself,becausetheothershadbeatenme——
hadbeatenme——becauseIhavenopapa."
Aburningrednesscoveredtheyoungwoman’scheeks;and,hurttothequick,sheembracedherchildpassionately,whilethetearscourseddownherface.Theman,muchmoved,stoodthere,notknowinghowtogetaway.
ButSimonsuddenlyrantohimandsaid:
"Willyoubemypapa?"
Adeepsilenceensued.LaBlanchotte,dumbandtorturedwithshame,leanedherselfagainstthewall,bothherhandsuponherheart.Thechild,seeingthatnoanswerwasmadehim,replied:
"Ifyouwillnot,Ishallgobackanddrownmyself."
Theworkmantookthematterasajestandanswered,laughing:
"Why,yes,certainlyIwill."
"Whatisyourname,"wentonthechild,"sothatImaytelltheotherswhentheywishtoknowyourname?"
"Philip,"answeredtheman:
Simonwassilentamomentsothathemightgetthenamewellintohishead;thenhestretchedouthisarms,quiteconsoled,ashesaid:
"Well,then,Philip,youaremypapa."
Theworkman,liftinghimfromtheground,kissedhimhastilyonbothcheeks,andthenwalkedawayveryquicklywithgreatstrides.
Whenthechildreturnedtoschoolnextdayhewasreceivedwithaspitefullaugh,andattheendofschool,whentheladswereonthepointofrecommencing,Simonthrewthesewordsattheirheadsashewouldhavedoneastone:"HeisnamedPhilip,mypapa."
Yellsofdelightburstoutfromallsides.
"Philipwho?Philipwhat?WhatonearthisPhilip?WheredidyoupickupyourPhilip?"
Simonanswerednothing;and,immovableinhisfaith,hedefiedthemwithhiseye,readytobemartyredratherthanflybeforethem.Theschoolmastercametohisrescueandhereturnedhometohismother.
Duringthreemonths,thetallworkman,Philip,frequentlypassedbyLaBlanchotte’shouse,andsometimeshemadeboldtospeaktoherwhenhesawhersewingnearthewindow.Sheansweredhimcivilly,alwayssedately,neverjokingwithhim,norpermittinghimtoenterherhouse.
Notwithstanding,being,likeallmen,abitofacoxcomb,heimaginedthatshewasoftenrosierthanusualwhenshechattedwithhim.
Butalostreputationissodifficulttoregainandalwaysremainssofragilethat,inspiteoftheshyreserveofLaBlanchotte,theyalreadygossipedintheneighborhood.
AsforSimonhelovedhisnewpapaverymuch,andwalkedwithhimnearlyeveryeveningwhentheday’sworkwasdone.Hewentregularlytoschool,andmixedwithgreatdignitywithhisschoolfellowswithouteveransweringthemback.
Oneday,however,theladwhohadfirstattackedhimsaidtohim:
"Youhavelied.YouhavenotapapanamedPhilip."
"Whydoyousaythat?"demandedSimon,muchdisturbed.
Theyouthrubbedhishands.Hereplied:
"Becauseifyouhadonehewouldbeyourmamma’shusband."
Simonwasconfusedbythetruthofthisreasoning;nevertheless,heretorted:
"Heismypapa,allthesame."
"Thatcanverywellbe,"exclaimedtheurchinwithasneer,"butthatisnotbeingyourpapaaltogether."
LaBlanchotte’slittleonebowedhisheadandwentoffdreaminginthedirectionoftheforgebelongingtooldLoizon,wherePhilipworked.
Thisforgewasasthoughburiedbeneathtrees.Itwasverydarkthere;
theredglareofaformidablefurnacealonelitupwithgreatflashesfiveblacksmiths;whohammeredupontheiranvilswithaterribledin.
Theywerestandingenvelopedinflame,likedemons,theireyesfixedonthered—hotirontheywerepounding;andtheirdullideasroseandfellwiththeirhammers.
Simonenteredwithoutbeingnoticed,andwentquietlytopluckhisfriendbythesleeve.Thelatterturnedround.Allatoncetheworkcametoastandstill,andallthemenlookedon,veryattentive.Then,inthemidstofthisunaccustomedsilence,rosetheslenderpipeofSimon:
"Say,Philip,theMichaudeboytoldmejustnowthatyouwerenotaltogethermypapa."
"Whynot?"askedtheblacksmith,Thechildrepliedwithallinnocence:
"Becauseyouarenotmymamma’shusband."
Noonelaughed.Philipremainedstanding,leaninghisforeheaduponthebackofhisgreathands,whichsupportedthehandleofhishammerstandinguprightupontheanvil.Hemused.Hisfourcompanionswatchedhim,andSimon,atinymiteamongthesegiants,anxiouslywaited.
Suddenly,oneofthesmiths,answeringtothesentimentofall,saidtoPhilip:
"LaBlanchotteisagood,honestgirl,anduprightandsteadyinspiteofhermisfortune,andwouldmakeaworthywifeforanhonestman."
"Thatistrue,"remarkedthethreeothers.
Thesmithcontinued:
"Isitthegirl’sfaultifshewentwrong?Shehadbeenpromisedmarriage;andIknowmorethanonewhoismuchrespectedto—day,andwhosinnedeverybitasmuch."
"Thatistrue,"respondedthethreemeninchorus.
Heresumed:
"Howhardshehastoiled,poorthing,tobringupherchildallalone,andhowshehasweptalltheseyearsshehasnevergoneoutexcepttochurch,Godonlyknows."
"Thisisalsotrue,"saidtheothers.
Thennothingwasheardbutthebellowswhichfannedthefireofthefurnace.PhiliphastilybenthimselfdowntoSimon:
"GoandtellyourmotherthatIamcomingtospeaktoherthisevening."
Thenhepushedthechildoutbytheshoulders.Hereturnedtohiswork,andwithasingleblowthefivehammersagainfellupontheiranvils.
Thustheywroughttheironuntilnightfall,strong,powerful,happy,likecontentedhammers.Butjustasthegreatbellofacathedralresoundsuponfeastdaysabovethejinglingoftheotherbells,soPhilip’shammer,soundingabovetherest,clangedsecondaftersecondwithadeafeninguproar.Andhestoodamidtheflyingsparksplyinghistradevigorously.
TheskywasfullofstarsasheknockedatLaBlanchotte’sdoor.HehadonhisSundayblouse,acleanshirt,andhisbeardwastrimmed.Theyoungwomanshowedherselfuponthethreshold,andsaidinagrievedtone:
"Itisilltocomethuswhennighthasfallen,Mr.Philip."
Hewishedtoanswer,butstammeredandstoodconfusedbeforeher.
Sheresumed:
"Youunderstand,doyounot,thatitwillnotdoformetobetalkedaboutagain."
"Whatdoesthatmattertome,ifyouwillbemywife!"
Novoicerepliedtohim,buthebelievedthatheheardintheshadowoftheroomthesoundofafallingbody.Heenteredquickly;andSimon,whohadgonetobed,distinguishedthesoundofakissandsomewordsthathismothermurmuredsoftly.Then,allatonce,hefoundhimselfliftedupbythehandsofhisfriend,who,holdinghimatthelengthofhisherculeanarms,exclaimed:
"Youwilltellthem,yourschoolmates,thatyourpapaisPhilipRemy,theblacksmith,andthathewillpulltheearsofallwhodoyouanyharm."
Onthemorrow,whentheschoolwasfullandlessonswereabouttobegin,littleSimonstoodup,quitepalewithtremblinglips:
"Mypapa,"saidheinaclearvoice,"isPhilipRemy,theblacksmith,andhehaspromisedtopulltheearsofallwhodoesmeanyharm."
Thistimenoonelaughed,forhewasverywellknown,wasPhilipRemy,theblacksmith,andwasapapaofwhomanyoneintheworldwouldhavebeenproud.
EndOriginalShortStories,Vol.12.
ByGuydeMaupassantVOLUMEXII.
THECHILD
ACOUNTRYEXCURSION
ROSE
ROSALIEPRUDENT
REGRET
ASISTER’SCONFESSION
COCO
ADEADWOMAN’SSECRET
AHUMBLEDRAMA
MADEMOISELLECOCOTTE
THECORSICANBANDIT
THEGRAVE
THECHILD
Lemonnierhadremainedawidowerwithonechild.Hehadlovedhiswifedevotedly,withatenderandexaltedlove,withoutaslip,duringtheirentiremarriedlife.Hewasagood,honestman,perfectlysimple,sincere,withoutsuspicionormalice.
Hefellinlovewithapoorneighbor,proposedandwasaccepted.Hewasmakingaverycomfortablelivingoutofthewholesaleclothbusiness,andhedidnotforaminutesuspectthattheyounggirlmighthaveacceptedhimforanythingelsebuthimself.
Shemadehimhappy.Shewaseverythingtohim;heonlythoughtofher,lookedathercontinually,withworshipingeyes.Duringmealshewouldmakeanynumberofblunders,inordernottohavetotakehiseyesfromthebelovedface;hewouldpourthewineinhisplateandthewaterinthesalt—cellar,thenhewouldlaughlikeachild,repeating:
"Yousee,Iloveyoutoomuch;thatmakesmecrazy."
Shewouldsmilewithacalmandresignedlook;thenshewouldlookaway,asthoughembarrassedbytheadorationofherhusband,andtrytomakehimtalkaboutsomethingelse;buthewouldtakeherhandunderthetableandhewouldholditinhis,whispering:
"MylittleJeanne,mydarlinglittleJeanne!"
Shesometimeslostpatienceandsaid:
"Come,come,bereasonable;eatandletmeeat."
Hewouldsighandbreakoffamouthfulofbread,whichhewouldthenchewslowly.
Forfiveyearstheyhadnochildren.Thensuddenlysheannouncedtohimthatthisstateofaffairswouldsooncease.Hewaswildwithjoy.Henolongerleftherforaminute,untilhisoldnurse,whohadbroughthimupandwhooftenruledthehouse,wouldpushhimoutandclosethedoorbehindhim,inordertocompelhimtogooutinthefreshair.
Hehadgrownveryintimatewithayoungmanwhohadknownhiswifesincechildhood,andwhowasoneoftheprefect’ssecretaries.M.DuretourwoulddinethreetimesaweekwiththeLemonniers,bringingflowerstomadame,andsometimesaboxatthetheater;andoften,attheendofthedinner,Lemonnier,growingtender,turningtowardshiswife,wouldexplain:"Withacompanionlikeyouandafriendlikehim,amaniscompletelyhappyonearth."
Shediedinchildbirth.Theshockalmostkilledhim.Butthesightofthechild,apoor,moaninglittlecreature,gavehimcourage.
Heloveditwithapassionateandsorrowfullove,withamorbidloveinwhichstuckthememoryofdeath,butinwhichlivedsomethingofhisworshipforthedeadmother.Itwasthefleshofhiswife,herbeingcontinued,asortofquintessenceofherself.Thischildwasherverylifetransferredtoanotherbody;shehaddisappearedthatitmightexist,andthefatherwouldsmotheritinwithkisses.Butalso,thischildhadkilledher;hehadstolenthisbelovedcreature,hislifewasatthecostofhers.AndM.Lemonnierwouldplacehissoninthecradleandwouldsitdownandwatchhim.Hewouldsitthiswaybythehour,lookingathim,dreamingofthousandsofthings,sweetorsad.Then,whenthelittleonewasasleep,hewouldbendoverhimandsob.
Thechildgrew.Thefathercouldnolongerspendanhourawayfromhim;
hewouldstaynearhim,takehimoutforwalks,andhimselfdresshim,washhim,makehimeat.Hisfriend,M.Duretour,alsoseemedtolovetheboy;hewouldkisshimwildly,inthosefrenziesoftendernesswhicharecharacteristicofparents.Hewouldtosshiminhisarms,hewouldtrothimonhisknees,bythehour,andM.Lemonnier,delighted,wouldmutter:
"Isn’theadarling?Isn’theadarling?"
AndM.Duretourwouldhugthechildinhisarmsandticklehisneckwithhismustache.
Celeste,theoldnurse,alone,seemedtohavenotendernessforthelittleone.Shewouldgrowangryathispranks,andseemedimpatientatthecaressesofthetwomen.Shewouldexclaim:
"Howcanyouexpecttobringachilduplikethat?You’llmakeaperfectmonkeyoutofhim."
Yearswentby,andJeanwasnineyearsold.Hehardlyknewhowtoread;
hehadbeensospoiled,andonlydidashesawfit.Hewaswillful,stubbornandquick—tempered.Thefatheralwaysgaveintohimandlethimhavehisownway.M.Duretourwouldalwaysbuyhimallthetoyshewished,andhefedhimoncakeandcandies.ThenCelestewouldgrowangryandexclaim:
"It’sashame,monsieur,ashame.Youarespoilingthischild.Butitwillhavetostop;yes,sir,Itellyouitwillhavetostop,andbeforelong,too."
M.Lemonnierwouldanswer,smiling:
"Whatcanyouexpect?Ilovehimtoomuch,Ican’tresisthim;youmustgetusedtoit."
Jeanwasdelicate,rather.Thedoctorsaidthathewasanaemic,prescribediron,raremeatandbroth.
Butthelittlefellowlovedonlycakeandrefusedallothernourishment;
andthefather,indespair,stuffedhimwithcream—puffsandchocolateeclairs.
Oneevening,astheyweresittingdowntosupper,Celestebroughtonthesoupwithanairofauthorityandanassurancewhichshedidnotusuallyhave.Shetookoffthecoverand,dippingtheladleintothedish,shedeclared:
"HereissomebrothsuchasIhavenevermade;theyoungonewillhavetotakesomethistime."
M.Lemonnier,frightened,benthishead.Hesawastormbrewing.
Celestetookhisplate,filleditherselfandplaceditinfrontofhim.
Hetastedthesoupandsaid:
"Itis,indeed,excellent."
Theservanttooktheboy’splateandpouredaspoonfulofsoupinit.
Thensheretreatedafewstepsandwaited.
Jeansmelledthefoodandpushedhisplateawaywithanexpressionofdisgust.Celeste,suddenlypale,quicklysteppedforwardandforciblypouredaspoonfuldownthechild’sopenmouth.
Hechoked,coughed,sneezed,spat;howling,heseizedhisglassandthrewitathisnurse.Shereceiveditfullinthestomach.Then,exasperated,shetooktheyoungshaver’sheadunderherarmandbeganpouringspoonfulafterspoonfulofsoupdownhisthroat.Hegrewasredasabeet,andhewouldcoughitup,stamping,twisting,choking,beatingtheairwithhishands.
Atfirstthefatherwassosurprisedthathecouldnotmove.Then,suddenly,herushedforward,wildwithrage,seizedtheservantbythethroatandthrewherupagainstthewallstammering:
"Out!Out!Out!youbrute!"
Butsheshookhimoff,and,herhairstreamingdownherback,hereyessnapping,shecriedout:
"What’sgettin’holdofyou?You’retryingtothrashmebecauseIammakingthischildeatsoupwhenyouarefillinghimwithsweetstuff!"
Hekeptrepeating,tremblingfromheadtofoot:
"Out!Getout—getout,youbrute!"
Then,wild,sheturnedtohimand,pushingherfaceupagainsthis,hervoicetrembling:
"Ah!——youthink—youthinkthatyoucantreatmelikethat?Oh!no.Andforwhom?——forthatbratwhoisnotevenyours.No,notyours!No,notyours——notyours!Everybodyknowsit,exceptyourself!Askthegrocer,thebutcher,thebaker,allofthem,anyoneofthem!"
Shewasgrowlingandmumbling,chokedwithpassion;thenshestoppedandlookedathim.
Hewasmotionlesslivid,hisarmshangingbyhissides.Afterashortpause,hemurmuredinafaint,shakyvoice,instinctwithdeepfeeling:
"Yousay?yousay?Whatdoyousay?"
Sheremainedsilent,frightenedbyhisappearance.Oncemorehesteppedforward,repeating:
"Yousay——whatdoyousay?"
Theninacalmvoice,sheanswered:
"IsaywhatIknow,whateverybodyknows."
Heseizedherand,withthefuryofabeast,hetriedtothrowherdown.
But,althoughold,shewasstrongandnimble.Sheslippedunderhisarm,andrunningaroundthetableoncemorefurious,shescreamed:
"Lookathim,justlookathim,foolthatyouare!Isn’thethelivingimageofM.Durefour?justlookathisnoseandhiseyes!Areyourslikethat?Andhishair!Isitlikehismother’s?Itellyouthateveryoneknowsit,everyoneexceptyourself!It’sthejokeofthetown!Lookathim!"
Shewenttothedoor,openedit,anddisappeared.
Jean,frightened,satmotionlessbeforehisplateofsoup.
Attheendofanhour,shereturnedgently,toseehowmattersstood.
Thechild,afterdoingawaywithallthecakesandapitcherfullofcreamandoneofsyrup,wasnowemptyingthejam—potwithhissoup—spoon.
Thefatherhadgoneout.
Celestetookthechild,kissedhim,andgentlycarriedhimtohisroomandputhimtobed.Shecamebacktothedining—room,clearedthetable,puteverythinginplace,feelingveryuneasyallthetime.
Notasinglesoundcouldbeheardthroughoutthehouse.Sheputherearagainst’shermaster’sdoor.Heseemedtobeperfectlystill.Sheputhereyetothekeyhole.Hewaswriting,andseemedverycalm.
Thenshereturnedtothekitchenandsatdown,readyforanyemergency.
Shesleptonachairandawokeatdaylight.
Shedidtheroomsasshehadbeenaccustomedtoeverymorning;shesweptanddusted,and,towardseighto’clock,preparedM.Lemonnier’sbreakfast.
Butshedidnotdarebringittohermaster,knowingtoowellhowshewouldbereceived;shewaitedforhimtoring.Buthedidnotring.
Nineo’clock,thenteno’clockwentby.
Celeste,notknowingwhattothink,preparedhertrayandstartedupwithit,herheartbeatingfast.
Shestoppedbeforethedoorandlistened.Everythingwasstill.Sheknocked;noanswer.Then,gatheringupallhercourage,sheopenedthedoorandentered.Withawildshriek,shedroppedthebreakfasttraywhichshehadbeenholdinginherhand.
Inthemiddleoftheroom,M.Lemonnierwashangingbyaropefromaringintheceiling.Histonguewasstickingouthorribly.Hisrightslipperwaslyingontheground,hisleftonestillonhisfoot.Anupturnedchairhadrolledovertothebed.
Celeste,dazed,ranawayshrieking.Alltheneighborscrowdedtogether.
Thephysiciandeclaredthathehaddiedataboutmidnight.
AletteraddressedtoM.Duretdurwasfoundonthetableofthesuicide.
Itcontainedthesewords:
"Ileaveandentrustthechildtoyou!"
ACOUNTRYEXCURSION
ForfivemonthstheyhadbeentalkingofgoingtotakeluncheoninoneofthecountrysuburbsofParisonMadameDufour’sbirthday,andastheywerelookingforwardveryimpatientlytotheouting,theyroseveryearlythatmorning.MonsieurDufourhadborrowedthemilkman’swagonanddrovehimself.Itwasaverytidy,two—wheeledconveyance,withacoversupportedbyfourironrods,withcurtainsthathadbeendrawnup,excepttheoneattheback,whichfloatedoutlikeasail.MadameDufour,resplendentinawonderful,cherrycoloredsilkdress,satbythesideofherhusband.
Theoldgrandmotherandagirlsatbehindthemontwochairs,andaboywithyellowhairwaslyingatthebottomofthewagon,withnothingtobeseenofhimexcepthishead.
WhentheyreachedthebridgeofNeuilly,MonsieurDufoursaid:"Hereweareinthecountryatlast!"andatthatsignalhiswifegrewsentimentalaboutthebeautiesofnature.WhentheygottothecrossroadsatCourbevoietheywereseizedwithadmirationforthedistantlandscape.
OntherightwasArgenteuilwithitsbelltower,andaboveitrosethehillsofSannoisandthemillofOrgemont,whileonthelefttheaqueductofMarlystoodoutagainsttheclearmorningsky,andinthedistancetheycouldseetheterraceofSaint—Germain;andoppositethem,attheendofalowchainofhills,thenewfortofCormeilles.Quiteinthedistance;averylongwayoff,beyondtheplainsandvillage,onecouldseethesombregreenoftheforests.
Thesunwasbeginningtoburntheirfaces,thedustgotintotheireyes,andoneithersideoftheroadtherestretchedaninterminabletractofbare,uglycountrywithanunpleasantodor.Onemighthavethoughtthatithadbeenravagedbyapestilence,whichhadevenattackedthebuildings,forskeletonsofdilapidatedanddesertedhouses,orsmallcottages,whichwereleftinanunfinishedstate,becausethecontractorshadnotbeenpaid,rearedtheirfourrooflesswallsoneachside.
Hereandtheretallfactorychimneysroseupfromthebarrensoil.Theonlyvegetationonthatputridland,wherethespringbreezeswaftedanodorofpetroleumandslate,blendedwithanotherodorthatwasevenlessagreeable.Atlast,however,theycrossedtheSeineasecondtime,andthebridgewasadelight.Theriversparkledinthesun,andtheyhadafeelingofquietenjoyment,feltrefreshedastheydrankinthepurerairthatwasnotimpregnatedbytheblacksmokeoffactoriesnorbythemiasmafromthedepositsofnightsoil.AmanwhomtheymettoldthemthatthenameoftheplacewasBezons.MonsieurDufourpulledupandreadtheattractiveannouncementoutsideaneatinghouse:RestaurantPoulin,matelottesandfriedfish,privaterooms,arbors,andswings.
"Well,MadameDufour,willthissuityou?Willyoumakeupyourmindatlast?"
Shereadtheannouncementinherturnandthenlookedatthehouseforsometime.
Itwasawhitecountryinn,builtbytheroadside,andthroughtheopendoorshecouldseethebrightzincofthecounter,atwhichsattwoworkmenintheirSundayclothes.Atlastshemadeuphermindandsaid:
"Yes,thiswilldo;and,besides,thereisaview."
Theydroveintoalargefieldbehindtheinn,separatedfromtheriverbythetowingpath,anddismounted.Thehusbandsprangoutfirstandthenheldouthisarmsforhiswife,andasthestepwasveryhighMadameDufour,inordertoreachhim,hadtoshowthelowerpartofherlimbs,whoseformerslendernesshaddisappearedinfat,andMonsieurDufour,whowasalreadygettingexcitedbythecountryair,pinchedhercalf,andthen,takingherinhisarms,hesetherontheground,asifshehadbeensomeenormousbundle.Sheshookthedustoutofthesilkdressandthenlookedroundtoseeinwhatsortofaplaceshewas.
Shewasastoutwoman,ofaboutthirty—six,full—blown,anddelightfultolookat.Shecouldhardlybreathe,ashercorsetswerelacedtootightly,andtheirpressureforcedhersuperabundantbosomuptoherdoublechin.Nextthegirlplacedherhandonherfather’sshoulderandjumpeddownlightly.Theboywiththeyellowhairhadgotdownbysteppingonthewheel,andhehelpedMonsieurDufourtolifthisgrandmotherout.Thentheyunharnessedthehorse,whichtheyhadtiedtoatree,andthecarriagefellback,withbothshaftsintheair.Thementookofftheircoatsandwashedtheirhandsinapailofwaterandthenwentandjoinedtheladies,whohadalreadytakenpossessionoftheswings.
MademoiselleDufourwastryingtoswingherselfstandingup,butshecouldnotsucceedingettingastart.Shewasaprettygirlofabouteighteen,oneofthosewomenwhosuddenlyexciteyourdesirewhenyoumeettheminthestreetandwholeaveyouwithavaguefeelingofuneasinessandofexcitedsenses.Shewastall,hadasmallwaistandlargehips,withadarkskin,verylargeeyesandveryblackhair.Herdressclearlymarkedtheoutlinesofherfirm,fullfigure,whichwasaccentuatedbythemotionofherhipsasshetriedtoswingherselfhigher.Herarmswerestretchedupwardtoholdtherope,sothatherbosomroseateverymovementshemade.Herhat,whichagustofwindhadblownoff,washangingbehindher,andastheswinggraduallyrosehigherandhigher,sheshowedherdelicatelimbsuptothekneeseachtime,andthebreezefromherflyingskirts,whichwasmoreheadythanthefumesofwine,blewintothefacesofthetwomen,whowerelookingatherandsmiling.
Sittingintheotherswing,MadameDufourkeptsayinginamonotonousvoice:
"Cyprian,comeandswingme;docomeandswingme,Cyprian!"
Atlasthewent,andturninguphisshirtsleeves,asifundertakingahardpieceofwork,withmuchdifficultyhesethiswifeinmotion.Sheclutchedthetworopesandheldherlegsoutstraight,soasnottotouchtheground.Sheenjoyedfeelingdizzyatthemotionoftheswing,andherwholefigureshooklikeajellyonadish,butasshewenthigherandhigher;shebecametoogiddyandwasfrightened.Eachtimetheswingcamedownsheutteredapiercingscream,whichmadeallthelittleurchinsintheneighborhoodcomeround,anddownbelow,beneaththegardenhedge,shevaguelysawarowofmischievousheadsmakingvariousgrimacesastheylaughed.
Whenaservantgirlcameouttheyorderedluncheon.
"Somefriedfish,arabbitsaute,saladanddessert,"MadameDufoursaid,withanimportantair.
"Bringtwoquartsofbeerandabottleofclaret,"herhusbandsaid.
"Wewillhavelunchonthegrass,"thegirladded.
Thegrandmother,whohadanaffectionforcats,hadbeenrunningafteronethatbelongedtothehouse,tryingtocoaxittocometoherforthelasttenminutes.Theanimal,whowasnodoubtsecretlyflatteredbyherattentions,keptclosetothegoodwoman,butjustoutofreachofherhand,andquietlywalkedroundthetrees,againstwhichsherubbedherself,withhertailup,purringwithpleasure.
"Hello!"suddenlyexclaimedtheyoungmanwiththeyellowhair,whowaswanderingabout."Herearetwoswellboats!"Theyallwenttolookatthemandsawtwobeautifulcanoesinawoodenshed;theywereasbeautifullyfinishedasiftheyhadbeenornamentalfurniture.Theyhungsidebyside,liketwotall,slendergirls,intheirnarrowshininglength,andmadeonewishtofloatinthemonwarmsummermorningsandeveningsalongtheflower—coveredbanksoftheriver,wherethetreesdiptheirbranchesintothewater,wheretherushesarecontinuallyrustlinginthebreezeandwheretheswiftkingfishersdartaboutlikeflashesofbluelightning.
Thewholefamilylookedatthemwithgreatrespect.
"Oh,theyareindeedswellboats!"MonsieurDufourrepeatedgravely,asheexaminedthemlikeaconnoiseur.Hehadbeeninthehabitofrowinginhisyoungerdays,hesaid,andwhenhehadspatinhishands——andhewentthroughtheactionofpullingtheoars——hedidnotcareafigforanybody.HehadbeatenmorethanoneEnglishmanformerlyattheJoinvilleregattas.Hegrewquiteexcitedatlastandofferedtomakeabetthatinaboatlikethathecouldrowsixleaguesanhourwithoutexertinghimself.
"Luncheonisready,"thewaitresssaid,appearingattheentrancetotheboathouse,andtheyallhurriedoff.ButtwoyoungmenhadtakentheveryseatsthatMadameDufourhadselectedandwereeatingtheirluncheon.Nodoubttheyweretheownersofthesculls,fortheywereinboatingcostume.Theywerestretchedout,almostlyingonthechairs;
theyweresun—brownedandtheirthincottonjerseys,withshortsleeves,showedtheirbarearms,whichwereasstrongasablacksmith’s.Theyweretwostrong,athleticfellows,whoshowedinalltheirmovementsthatelasticityandgraceoflimbwhichcanonlybeacquiredbyexerciseandwhichissodifferenttothedeformitywithwhichmonotonousheavyworkstampsthemechanic.
Theyexchangedarapidsmilewhentheysawthemotherandthenaglanceonseeingthedaughter.
"Letusgiveupourplace,"oneofthemsaid;"itwillmakeusacquaintedwiththem."
Theothergotupimmediately,andholdinghisblackandredboatingcapinhishand,hepolitelyofferedtheladiestheonlyshadyplaceinthegarden.Withmanyexcusestheyaccepted,andthatitmightbemorerural,theysatonthegrass,withouteithertablesorchairs.
Thetwoyoungmentooktheirplates,knives,forks,etc.,toatablealittlewayoffandbegantoeatagain,andtheirbarearms,whichtheyshowedcontinually,ratherembarrassedthegirl.Sheevenpretendedtoturnherheadasideandnottoseethem,whileMadameDufour,whowasratherbolder,temptedbyfemininecuriosity,lookedatthemeverymoment,and,nodoubt,comparedthemwiththesecretunsightlinessofherhusband.Shehadsquattedherselfonground,withherlegstuckedunderher,afterthemanneroftailors,andshekeptmovingaboutrestlessly,sayingthatantswerecrawlingabouthersomewhere.MonsieurDufour,annoyedatthepresenceofthepolitestrangers,wastryingtofindacomfortablepositionwhichhedidnot,however,succeedindoing,andtheyoungmanwiththeyellowhairwaseatingassilentlyasanogre.
"Itislovelyweather,monsieur,"thestoutladysaidtooneoftheboatingmen.Shewishedtobefriendlybecausetheyhadgivenuptheirplace.
"Itis,indeed,madame,"hereplied."Doyouoftengointothecountry?"
"Oh,onlyonceortwiceayeartogetalittlefreshair.Andyou,monsieur?"
"Icomeandsleephereeverynight."
"Oh,thatmustbeverynice!"
"Certainlyitis,madame."Andhegavethemsuchapracticalaccountofhisdailylifethatitawakenedafreshintheheartsoftheseshopkeeperswhoweredeprivedofthemeadowsandwholongedforcountrywalks,tothatfoolishloveofnaturewhichtheyallfeelsostronglythewholeyearroundbehindthecounterintheirshop.
ThegirlraisedhereyesandlookedattheoarsmanwithemotionandMonsieurDufourspokeforthefirsttime.
"Itisindeedahappylife,"hesaid.Andthenheadded:"Alittlemorerabbit,mydear?"
"No,thankyou,"shereplied,andturningtotheyoungmenagain,andpointingtotheirarms,asked:"Doyouneverfeelcoldlikethat?"
Theybothbegantolaugh,andtheyastonishedthefamilywithanaccountoftheenormousfatiguetheycouldendure,oftheirbathingwhileinastateoftremendousperspiration,oftheirrowinginthefogatnight;
andtheystrucktheirchestsviolentlytoshowhowhollowtheysounded.
"Ah!Youlookverystrong,"saidthehusband,whodidnottalkanymoreofthetimewhenheusedtobeattheEnglish.Thegirlwaslookingatthemsidewaysnow,andtheyoungfellowwiththeyellowhair,whohadswallowedsomewinethewrongway,wascoughingviolentlyandbespatteringMadameDufour’scherry—coloredsilkdress.Shegotangryandsentforsomewatertowashthespots.