Meanwhileithadgrownunbearablyhot,thesparklingriverlookedlikeablazeoffireandthefumesofthewineweregettingintotheirheads.
MonsieurDufour,whohadaviolenthiccough,hadunbuttonedhiswaistcoatandthetopbuttonofhistrousers,whilehiswife,whofeltchoking,wasgraduallyunfasteningherdress.Theapprenticewasshakinghisyellowwiginahappyframeofmind,andkepthelpinghimselftowine,andtheoldgrandmother,feelingtheeffectsofthewine,wasverystiffanddignified.Asforthegirl,onenoticedonlyapeculiarbrightnessinhereyes,whilethebrowncheeksbecamemorerosy.
Thecoffeefinished,theysuggestedsinging,andeachofthemsangorrepeatedacouplet,whichtheothersapplaudedfrantically.Thentheygotupwithsomedifficulty,andwhilethetwowomen,whowereratherdizzy,weretryingtogetabreathofair,thetwomen,whowerealtogetherdrunk,wereattemptinggymnastics.Heavy,limpandwithscarletfacestheyhungor,awkwardlytotheironrings,withoutbeingabletoraisethemselves.
Meanwhilethetwoboatingmenhadgottheirboatsintothewater,andtheycamebackandpolitelyaskedtheladieswhethertheywouldlikearow.
"Wouldyoulikeone,MonsieurDufour?"hiswifeexclaimed."Pleasecome!"
Hemerelygaveheradrunkennod,withoutunderstandingwhatshesaid.
Thenoneoftherowerscameupwithtwofishingrodsinhishands,andthehopeofcatchingagudgeon,thatgreatvisionoftheParisianshopkeeper,madeDufour’sdulleyesgleam,andhepolitelyallowedthemtodowhatevertheyliked,whilehesatintheshadeunderthebridge,withhisfeetdanglingovertheriver,bythesideoftheyoungmanwiththeyellowhair,whowassleepingsoundly.
Oneoftheboatingmenmadeamartyrofhimselfandtookthemother.
"LetusgotothelittlewoodontheIleauxAnglais!"hecalledoutasherowedoff.Theotherboatwentmoreslowly,fortherowerwaslookingathiscompanionsointentlythatbythoughtofnothingelse,andhisemotionseemedtoparalyzehisstrength,whilethegirl,whowassittinginthebow,gaveherselfuptotheenjoymentofbeingonthewater.Shefeltadisinclinationtothink,alassitudeinherlimbsandatotalenervation,asifshewereintoxicated,andherfacewasflushedandherbreathingquickened.Theeffectsofthewine,whichwereincreasedbytheextremeheat,madeallthetreesonthebankseemtobowasshepassed.Avaguewishforenjoymentandafermentationofherbloodseemedtopervadeherwholebody,whichwasexcitedbytheheatoftheday,andshewasalsodisturbedatthistete—a—teteonthewater,inaplacewhichseemeddepopulatedbytheheat,withthisyoungmanwhothoughtherpretty,whoseardentlooksseemedtocaressherskinandwereaspenetratingandpervadingasthesun’srays.
Theirinabilitytospeakincreasedtheiremotion,andtheylookedaboutthem.Atlast,however,hemadeaneffortandaskedhername.
"Henriette,"shesaid.
"Why,mynameisHenri,"hereplied.Thesoundoftheirvoiceshadcalmedthem,andtheylookedatthebanks.Theotherboathadpassedthemandseemedtobewaitingforthem,andtherowercalledout:
"Wewillmeetyouinthewood;wearegoingasfarasRobinson’s,becauseMadameDufouristhirsty."Thenhebentoverhisoarsagainandrowedoffsoquicklythathewassoonoutofsight.
Meanwhileacontinualroar,whichtheyhadheardforsometime,camenearer,andtheriveritselfseemedtoshiver,asifthedullnoisewererisingfromitsdepths.
"Whatisthatnoise?"sheasked.Itwasthenoiseoftheweirwhichcuttheriverintwoattheisland,andhewasexplainingittoher,when,abovethenoiseofthewaterfall,theyheardthesongofabird,whichseemedalongwayoff.
"Listen!"hesaid;"thenightingalesaresingingduringtheday,sothefemalebirdsmustbesitting."
Anightingale!Shehadneverheardonebefore,andtheideaoflisteningtoonerousedvisionsofpoetictendernessinherheart.Anightingale!
Thatistosay,theinvisiblewitnessofherlovetrystswhichJulietinvokedonherbalcony;thatcelestialmusicwhichitattunedtohumankisses,thateternalinspirerofallthoselanguorousromanceswhichopenanidealskytoallthepoorlittletenderheartsofsensitivegirls!
Shewasgoingtohearanightingale.
"Wemustnotmakeanoise,"hercompanionsaid,"andthenwecangointothewood,andsitdownclosebesideit."
Theboatseemedtoglide.Theysawthetreesontheisland,thebanksofwhichweresolowthattheycouldlookintothedepthsofthethickets.
Theystopped,hemadetheboatfast,HenriettetookholdofHenri’sarm,andtheywentbeneaththetrees.
"Stoop,"hesaid,soshestoopeddown,andtheywentintoaninextricablethicketofcreepers,leavesandreedgrass,whichformedanundiscoverableretreat,andwhichtheyoungmanlaughinglycalled"hisprivateroom."
Justabovetheirheads,perchedinoneofthetreeswhichhidthem,thebirdwasstillsinging.Heutteredtrillsandroulades,andthenloud,vibratingnotesthatfilledtheairandseemedtolosethemselvesonthehorizon,acrossthelevelcountry,throughthatburningsilencewhichweigheduponthewholelandscape.Theydidnotspeakforfearoffrighteningitaway.Theyweresittingclosetogether,and,slowly,Henri’sarmstoleroundthegirl’swaistandsqueezeditgently.Shetookthatdaringhandwithoutanyanger,andkeptremovingitwheneverheputitroundher;without,however,feelingatallembarrassedbythiscaress,justasifithadbeensomethingquitenatural,whichshewasresistingjustasnaturally.
Shewaslisteningtothebirdinecstasy.Shefeltaninfinitelongingforhappiness,forsomesuddendemonstrationoftenderness,fortherevelationofsuperhumanpoetry,andshefeltsuchasofteningatherheart,andrelaxationofhernerves,thatshebegantocry,withoutknowingwhy.Theyoungmanwasnowstrainingherclosetohim,yetshedidnotremovehisarm;shedidnotthinkofit.Suddenlythenightingalestopped,andavoicecalledoutinthedistance:
"Henriette!"
"Donotreply,"hesaidinalowvoice;"youwilldrivethebirdaway."
Butshehadnoideaofdoingso,andtheyremainedinthesamepositionforsometime.MadameDufourhadsatdownsomewhereorother,forfromtimetotimetheyheardthestoutladybreakoutintolittleburstsoflaughter.
Thegirlwasstillcrying;shewasfilledwithstrangesensations.
Henri’sheadwasonhershoulder,andsuddenlyhekissedheronthelips.
Shewassurprisedandangry,and,toavoidhim,shestoodup.
Theywerebothverypalewhentheylefttheirgrassyretreat.Theblueskyappearedtothemcloudedandtheardentsundarkened;andtheyfelttilesolitudeandthesilence.Theywalkedrapidly,sidebyside,withoutspeakingortouchingeachother,fortheyseemedtohavebecomeirreconcilableenemies,asifdisgustandhatredhadarisenbetweenthem,andfromtimetotimeHenriettecalledout:"Mamma!"
Byandbytheyheardanoisebehindabush,andthestoutladyappeared,lookingratherconfused,andhercompanion’sfacewaswrinkledwithsmileswhichhecouldnotcheck.
MadameDufourtookhisarm,andtheyreturnedtotheboats,andHenri,whowasahead,walkedinsilencebesidetheyounggirl.AtlasttheygotbacktoBezons.MonsieurDufour,whowasnowsober,waswaitingforthemveryimpatiently,whiletheyoungmanwiththeyellowhairwashavingamouthfulofsomethingtoeatbeforeleavingtheinn.Thecarriagewaswaitingintheyard,andthegrandmother,whohadalreadygotin,wasveryfrightenedatthethoughtofbeingovertakenbynightbeforetheyreachedParis,astheoutskirtswerenotsafe.
Theyallshookbands,andtheDufourfamilydroveoff.
"Good—by,untilwemeetagain!"theoarsmencried,andtheanswertheygotwasasighandatear.
Twomonthslater,asHenriwasgoingalongtheRuedesMartyrs,hesawDufour,Ironmonger,overadoor,andsohewentin,andsawthestoutladysittingatthecounter.Theyrecognizedeachotherimmediately,andafteraninterchangeofpolitegreetings,heaskedafterthemall.
"AndhowisMademoiselleHenriette?"heinquiredspecially.
"Verywell,thankyou;sheismarried."
"Ah!"Hefeltacertainemotion,butsaid:"Whomdidshemarry?"
"Thatyoungmanwhoaccompaniedus,youknow;hehasjoinedusinbusiness."
"Irememberhimperfectly."
Hewasgoingout,feelingveryunhappy,thoughscarcelyknowingwhy,whenmadamecalledhimback.
"Andhowisyourfriend?"sheaskedrathershyly.
"Heisverywell,thankyou."
"Pleasegivehimourcompliments,andbeghimtocomeandcall,whenheisintheneighborhood."
Shethenadded:"Tellhimitwillgivemegreatpleasure."
"Iwillbesuretodoso.Adieu!"
"Donotsaythat;comeagainverysoon."
Thenextyear,oneveryhotSunday,allthedetailsofthatadventure,whichHenrihadneverforgotten,suddenlycamebacktohimsoclearlythathereturnedalonetotheirroominthewood,andwasoverwhelmedwithastonishmentwhenhewentin.Shewassittingonthegrass,lookingverysad,whilebyherside,stillinhisshirtsleeves,theyoungmanwiththeyellowhairwassleepingsoundly,likesomeanimal.
ShegrewsopalewhenshesawHenrithatatfirsthethoughtshewasgoingtofaint;then,however,theybegantotalkquitenaturally.
Butwhenhetoldherthathewasveryfondofthatspot,andwenttherefrequentlyonSundaystoindulgeinmemories,shelookedintohiseyesforalongtime.
"Itoo,thinkofit,"shereplied.
"Come,mydear,"herhusbandsaid,withayawn."Ithinkitistimeforustobegoing."
ROSE
Thetwoyoungwomenappeartobeburiedunderablanketofflowers.Theyarealoneintheimmenselandau,whichisfilledwithflowerslikeagiantbasket.Onthefrontseataretwosmallhampersofwhitesatinfilledwithviolets,andonthebearskinbywhichtheirkneesarecoveredthereisamassofroses,mimosas,pinks,daisies,tuberosesandorangeblossoms,interwovenwithsilkribbons;thetwofrailbodiesseemburiedunderthisbeautifulperfumedbed,whichhideseverythingbuttheshouldersandarmsandalittleofthedaintywaists.
Thecoachman’swhipiswoundwithagarlandofanemones,thehorses’
tracesaredottedwithcarnations,thespokesofthewheelsareclothedinmignonette,andwherethelanternsoughttobearetwoenormousroundbouquetswhichlookasthoughtheyweretheeyesofthisstrange,rolling,flower—bedeckedcreature.
Thelandaudrivesrapidlyalongtheroad,throughtheRued’Antibes,preceded,followed,accompanied,byacrowdofothercarriagescoveredwithflowers,fullofwomenalmosthiddenbyaseaofviolets.ItistheflowercarnivalatCannes.
ThecarriagereachestheBoulevarddelaFonciere,wherethebattleiswaged.Allalongtheimmenseavenueadoublerowofflower—bedeckedvehiclesaregoingandcominglikeanendlessribbon.Flowersarethrownfromonetotheother.Theypassthroughtheairlikeballs,strikingfreshfaces,bouncingandfallingintothedust,whereanarmyofyoungsterspickthemup.
Athickcrowdisstandingonthesidewalkslookingonandheldincheckbythemountedpolice,whopassbrutallyalongpushingbackthecuriouspedestriansasthoughtopreventthecommonpeoplefromminglingwiththerich.
Inthecarriages,peoplecalltoeachother,recognizeeachotherandbombardeachotherwithroses.Achariotfullofprettywomen,dressedinred,likedevils,attractstheeyesofall.Agentleman,wholooksliketheportraitsofHenryIV.,isthrowinganimmensebouquetwhichisheldbackbyanelastic.Fearingtheshock,thewomenhidetheireyesandthemenlowertheirheads,butthegraceful,rapidandobedientmissiledescribesacurveandreturnstoitsmaster,whoimmediatelythrowsitatsomenewface.
Thetwoyoungwomenbegintothrowtheirstockofflowersbyhandfuls,andreceiveaperfecthailofbouquets;then,afteranhourofwarfare,alittletired,theytellthecoachmantodrivealongtheroadwhichfollowstheseashore.
ThesundisappearsbehindEsterel,outliningthedark,ruggedmountainagainstthesunsetsky.Theclearbluesea,ascalmasamill—pond,stretchesoutasfarasthehorizon,whereitblendswiththesky;andthefleet,anchoredinthemiddleofthebay,lookslikeaherdofenormousbeasts,motionlessonthewater,apocalypticanimals,armoredandhump—backed,theirfrailmastslookinglikefeathers,andwitheyeswhichlightupwheneveningapproaches.
Thetwoyoungwomen,leaningbackundertheheavyrobes,lookoutlazilyovertheblueexpanseofwater.Atlastoneofthemsays:
"Howdelightfultheeveningsare!Howgoodeverythingseems!Don’tyouthinkso,Margot?"
"Yes,itisgood.Butthereisalwayssomethinglacking."
"Whatislacking?Ifeelperfectlyhappy.Idon’tneedanythingelse."
"Yes,youdo.Youarenotthinkingofit.Nomatterhowcontentedwemaybe,physically,wealwayslongforsomethingmore——fortheheart."
Theotheraskedwithasmile:
"Alittlelove?"
"Yes."
Theystoppedtalking,theireyesfastenedonthedistanthorizon,thentheonecalledMargueritemurmured:"Lifewithoutthatseemstomeunbearable.Ineedtobeloved,ifonlybyadog.Butweareallalike,nomatterwhatyoumaysay,Simone."
"Notatall,mydear.Ihadrathernotbelovedatallthantobelovedbythefirstcomer.Doyouthink,forinstance,thatitwouldbepleasanttobelovedby——by——"
Shewasthinkingbywhomshemightpossiblybeloved,glancingacrossthewidelandscape.Hereyes,aftertravelingaroundthehorizon,fellonthetwobrightbuttonswhichwereshiningonthebackofthecoachman’slivery,andshecontinued,laughing:"bymycoachman?"
MadameMargotbarelysmiled,andsaidinalowtoneofvoice:
"Iassureyouthatitisveryamusingtobelovedbyaservant.Ithashappenedtometwoorthreetimes.Theyrolltheireyesinsuchafunnymanner——it’senoughtomakeyoudielaughing!Naturally,themoreinlovetheyare,themoresevereonemustbewiththem,andthen,someday,forsomereason,youdismissthem,because,ifanyoneshouldnoticeit,youwouldappearsoridiculous."
MadameSimonewaslistening,staringstraightaheadofher,thensheremarked:
"No,I’mafraidthatmyfootman’sheartwouldnotsatisfyme.Tellmehowyounoticedthattheylovedyou."
"InoticeditthesamewaythatIdowithothermen——whentheygetstupid."
"Theothersdon’tseemstupidtome,whentheyloveme."
"Theyareidiots,mydear,unabletotalk,toanswer,tounderstandanything."
"Buthowdidyoufeelwhenyouwerelovedbyaservant?Wereyou——moved——flattered?"
"Moved?no,flattered——yesalittle.Oneisalwaysflatteredtobelovedbyaman,nomatterwhohemaybe."
"Oh,Margot!"
"Yes,indeed,mydear!Forinstance,Iwilltellyouofapeculiarincidentwhichhappenedtome.Youwillseehowcuriousandcomplexouremotionsare,insuchcases.
"AboutfouryearsagoIhappenedtobewithoutamaid.Ihadtriedfiveorsix,onerightaftertheother,andIwasaboutreadytogiveupindespair,whenIsawanadvertisementinanewspaperofayounggirlknowinghowtocook,embroider,dresshair,whowaslookingforapositionandwhocouldfurnishthebestofreferences.Besidesalltheseaccomplishments,shecouldspeakEnglish.
"Iwrotetothegivenaddress,andthenextdaythepersoninquestionpresentedherself.Shewastall,slender,pale,shy—looking.Shehadbeautifulblackeyesandacharmingcomplexion;shepleasedmeimmediately.Iaskedforhercertificates;shegavemeoneinEnglish,forshecame,asshesaid,fromLadyRymwell’s,whereshehadbeenfortenyears.
"Thecertificateshowedthattheyounggirlhadleftofherownfreewill,inordertoreturntoFrance,andtheonlythingwhichtheyhadhadtofindfaultinherduringherlongperiodofservicewasalittleFrenchcoquettishness.
"ThisprudishEnglishphraseevenmademesmile,andIimmediatelyengagedthismaid.
"Shecametomethesameday.HernamewasRose.
"AttheendofamonthIwouldhavebeenhelplesswithouther.Shewasatreasure,apearl,aphenomenon.
"Shecoulddressmyhairwithinfinitetaste;shecouldtrimahatbetterthanmostmilliners,andshecouldevenmakemydresses.
"Iwasastonishedatheraccomplishments.Ihadneverbeforebeenwaitedoninsuchamanner.
"Shedressedmerapidlyandwithasurprisinglylighttouch.Ineverfeltherfingersonmyskin,andnothingissodisagreeabletomeascontactwithaservant’shand.Isoonbecameexcessivelylazy;itwassopleasanttobedressedfromheadtofoot,andfromlingerietogloves,bythistall,timidgirl,alwaysblushingalittle,andneversayingaword.
AftermybathshewouldrubandmassagemewhileIdozedalittleonmycouch;Ialmostconsideredhermoreofafriendthanaservant.
"Onemorningthejanitorasked,mysteriously,tospeaktome.Iwassurprised,andtoldhimtocomein.Hewasagood,faithfulman,anoldsoldier,oneofmyhusband’sformerorderlies.
"Heseemedtobeembarrassedbywhathehadtosaytome.Atlasthemanagedtomumble:
"’Madame,thesuperintendentofpoliceisdownstairs.’
"Iaskedquickly:
"’Whatdoeshewish?’
"’Hewishestosearchthehouse.’
"Ofcoursethepoliceareuseful,butIhatethem.Idonotthinkthatitisanobleprofession.Ianswered,angeredandhurt:
"’Whythissearch?Forwhatreason?Heshallnotcomein.’
"Thejanitorcontinued:
"’Hesaysthatthereisacriminalhiddeninthehouse.’
"ThistimeIwasfrightenedandItoldhimtobringtheinspectortome,sothatImightgetsomeexplanation.HewasamanwithgoodmannersanddecoratedwiththeLegionofHonor.Hebeggedmypardonfordisturbingme,andtheninformedmethatIhad,amongmydomestics,aconvict.
"Iwasshocked;andIansweredthatIcouldguaranteeeveryservantinthehouse,andIbegantoenumeratethem.
"’Thejanitor,PierreCourtin,anoldsoldier.’
"’It’snothe.’
"’Astable—boy,sonoffarmerswhomIknow,andagroomwhomyouhavejustseen.’
"’It’snothe.’
"’Then,monsieur,youseethatyoumustbemistaken.’
"’Excuseme,madame,butIampositivethatIamnotmakingamistake.
Astheconvictionofanotablecriminalisatstake,wouldyoubesokindastosendforallyourservants?"
"AtfirstIrefused,butIfinallygavein,andsentdownstairsforeverybody,menandwomen.
"Theinspectorglancedatthemandthendeclared:
"’Thisisn’tall.’
"’Excuseme,monsieur,thereisnooneleftbutmymaid,ayounggirlwhomyoucouldnotpossiblymistakeforaconvict.’
"Heasked:
"’MayIalsoseeher?’
"’Certainly.’
"IrangforRose,whoimmediatelyappeared.Shehadhardlyenteredtheroom,whentheinspectormadeamotion,andtwomenwhomIhadnotseen,hiddenbehindthedoor,sprangforward,seizedherandtiedherhandsbehindherback.
"Icriedoutinangerandtriedtorushforwardtodefendher.Theinspectorstoppedme:
"’Thisgirl,madame,isamanwhosenameisJeanNicolasLecapet,condemnedtodeathin1879forassaultingawomanandinjuringhersothatdeathresulted.Hissentencewascommutedtoimprisonmentforlife.
Heescapedfourmonthsago.Wehavebeenlookingforhimeversince.’
"Iwasterrified,bewildered.Ididnotbelievehim.Thecommissionercontinued,laughing:
"’Icanproveittoyou.Hisrightarmistattooed.’
"’Thesleevewasrolledup.Itwastrue.Theinspectoradded,withbadtaste:
"’Youcantrustusfortheotherproofs.’
"Andtheyledmymaidaway!
"Well,wouldyoubelieveme,thethingthatmovedmemostwasnotangerathavingthusbeenplayedupon,deceivedandmaderidiculous,itwasnottheshameofhavingthusbeendressedandundressed,handledandtouchedbythisman——butadeephumiliation——awoman’shumiliation.Doyouunderstand?"
"IamafraidIdon’t."
"Justthink——thismanhadbeencondemnedfor——forassaultingawoman.
Well!Ithoughtoftheonewhomhehadassaulted——and——andIfelthumiliated——There!Doyouunderstandnow?"
MadameMargotdidnotanswer.Shewaslookingstraightahead,hereyesfastenedonthetwoshiningbuttonsofthelivery,withthatsphinx—likesmilewhichwomensometimeshave.
ROSALIEPRUDENT
Therewasarealmysteryinthisaffairwhichneitherthejury,northepresident,northepublicprosecutorhimselfcouldunderstand.
ThegirlPrudent(Rosalie),servantattheVarambots’,ofNantes,havingbecomeenceintewithouttheknowledgeofhermasters,had,duringthenight,killedandburiedherchildinthegarden.
Itwastheusualstoryoftheinfanticidescommittedbyservantgirls.
Buttherewasoneinexplicablecircumstanceaboutthisone.WhenthepolicesearchedthegirlPrudent’sroomtheydiscoveredacompleteinfant’soutfit,madebyRosalieherself,whohadspenthernightsforthelastthreemonthsincuttingandsewingit.Thegrocerfromwhomshehadboughthercandles,outofherownwages,forthislongpieceofworkhadcometotestify.Itcameout,moreover,thatthesage—femmeofthedistrict,informedbyRosalieofhercondition,hadgivenherallnecessaryinstructionsandcounselincasetheeventshouldhappenatatimewhenitmightnotbepossibletogethelp.ShehadalsoprocuredaplaceatPoissyforthegirlPrudent,whoforesawthatherpresentemployerswoulddischargeher,fortheVarambotcoupledidnottriflewithmorality.
Therewerepresentatthetrialboththemanandthewoman,amiddle—
classpairfromtheprovinces,livingontheirincome.Theyweresoexasperatedagainstthisgirl,whohadsulliedtheirhouse,thattheywouldhavelikedtoseeherguillotinedonthespotwithoutatrial.
Thespitefuldepositionstheymadeagainstherbecameaccusationsintheirmouths.
Thedefendant,alarge,handsomegirlofLowerNormandy,welleducatedforherstationinlife,weptcontinuouslyandwouldnotanswertoanything.
Thecourtandthespectatorswereforcedtotheopinionthatshehadcommittedthisbarbarousactinamomentofdespairandmadness,sincetherewaseveryindicationthatshehadexpectedtokeepandbringupherchild.
Thepresidenttriedforthelasttimetomakeherspeak,togetsomeconfession,and,havingurgedherwithmuchgentleness,hefinallymadeherunderstandthatallthesemengatheredheretopassjudgmentuponherwerenotanxiousforherdeathandmightevenhavepityonher.
Thenshemadeuphermindtospeak.
"Come,now,tellus,first,whoisthefatherofthischild?"heasked.
Untilthenshehadobstinatelyrefusedtogivehisname.
Butsherepliedsuddenly,lookingathermasterswhohadsocruellycalumniatedher:
"ItisMonsieurJoseph,MonsieurVarambot’snephew."
Thecouplestartedintheirseatsandcriedwithonevoice——"That’snottrue!Shelies!Thisisinfamous!"
Thepresidenthadthemsilencedandcontinued"Goon,please,andtellushowitallhappened."
Thenshesuddenlybegantotalkfreely,relievingherpent—upheart,thatpoor,solitary,crushedheart——layingbarehersorrow,herwholesorrow,beforethoseseveremenwhomshehaduntilnowtakenforenemiesandinflexiblejudges.
"Yes,itwasMonsieurJosephVarambot,whenhecameonleavelastyear."
"WhatdoesMr.JosephVarambotdo?"
"Heisanon—commissionedofficerintheartillery,monsieur.Well,hestayedtwomonthsatthehouse,twomonthsofthesummer.Ithoughtnothingaboutitwhenhebegantolookatme,andthenflatterme,andmakelovetomealldaylong.AndIletmyselfbetakenin,monsieur.
HekeptsayingtomethatIwasahandsomegirl,thatIwasgoodcompany,thatIjustsuitedhim——andI,Ilikedhimwellenough.WhatcouldIdo?
Onelistenstothesethingswhenoneisalone——allalone——asIwas.Iamaloneintheworld,monsieur.Ihavenoonetotalkto——noonetotellmytroublesto.Ihavenofather,nomother,nobrother,nosister,nobody.AndwhenhebegantotalktomeitwasasifIhadabrotherwhohadcomeback.Andthenheaskedmetogowithhimtotheriveroneevening,sothatwemighttalkwithoutdisturbinganyone.Iwent——I
don’tknow——Idon’tknowhowithappened.Hehadhisarmaroundme.
ReallyIdidn’twantto——no——no——Icouldnot——Ifeltlikecrying,theairwassosoft——themoonwasshining.No,Isweartoyou——Icouldnot——
hedidwhathewanted.Thatwentonthreeweeks,aslongashestayed.
Icouldhavefollowedhimtotheendsoftheworld.Hewentaway.IdidnotknowthatIwasenceinte.Ididnotknowituntilthemonthafter——"
Shebegantocrysobitterlythattheyhadtogivehertimetocollectherself.
Thenthepresidentresumedwiththetoneofapriestattheconfessional:
"Come,now,goon."
Shebegantotalkagain:"WhenIrealizedmyconditionIwenttoseeMadameBoudin,whoistheretotellyou,andIaskedherhowitwouldbe,incaseitshouldcomeifshewerenotthere.ThenImadetheoutfit,sewingnightafternight,everyeveninguntiloneo’clockinthemorning;
andthenIlookedforanotherplace,forIknewverywellthatIshouldbesentaway,butIwantedtostayinthehouseuntiltheverylast,soastosavemypennies,forIhavenotgotverymuchandIshouldneedmymoneyforthelittleone."
"Thenyoudidnotintendtokillhim?"
"Oh,certainlynot,monsieur!"
"Whydidyoukillhim,then?"
"Ithappenedthisway.ItcamesoonerthanIexpected.Itcameuponmeinthekitchen,whileIwasdoingthedishes.MonsieurandMadameVarambotwerealreadyasleep,soIwentup,notwithoutdifficulty,draggingmyselfupbythebanister,andIlaydownonthebarefloor.
Itlastedperhapsonehour,ortwo,orthree;Idon’tknow,Ihadsuchpain;andthenIpushedhimoutwithallmystrength.IfeltthathecameoutandIpickedhimup.
"Ah!butIwasglad,Iassureyou!IdidallthatMadameBoudintoldmetodo.AndthenIlaidhimonmybed.AndthensuchapaingripedmeagainthatIthoughtIshoulddie.Ifyouknewwhatitmeant,youthere,youwouldnotdosomuchofthis.Ifellonmyknees,andthentoppledoverbackwardonthefloor;anditgripedmeagain,perhapsonehour,perhapstwo.Ilaythereallalone——andthenanotheronecomes——anotherlittleone——two,yes,two,likethis.ItookhimupasIdidthefirstone,andthenIputhimonthebed,thetwosidebyside.Isitpossible,tellme,twochildren,andIwhogetonlytwentyfrancsamonth?Say,isitpossible?One,yes,thatcanbemanagedbygoingwithoutthings,butnottwo.Thatturnedmyhead.WhatdoIknowaboutit?HadIanychoice,tellme?
"WhatcouldIdo?Ifeltasifmylasthourhadcome.Iputthepillowoverthem,withoutknowingwhy.Icouldnotkeepthemboth;andthenI
threwmyselfdown,andIlaythere,rollingoverandoverandcryinguntilIsawthedaylightcomeintothewindow.Bothofthemwerequitedeadunderthepillow.ThenItookthemundermyarmsandwentdownthestairsoutinthevegetablegarden.Itookthegardener’sspadeandI
buriedthemundertheearth,diggingasdeepaholeasIcould,onehereandtheotheronethere,nottogether,sothattheymightnottalkoftheirmotheriftheselittledeadbodiescantalk.WhatdoIknowaboutit?
"Andthen,backinmybed,IfeltsosickthatIcouldnotgetup.Theysentforthedoctorandheunderstooditall.I’mtellingyouthetruth,YourHonor.Dowhatyoulikewithme;I’mready."
Halfofthejurywereblowingtheirnosesviolentlytokeepfromcrying.
Thewomeninthecourtroomweresobbing.
Thepresidentaskedher:
"Wheredidyouburytheotherone?"
"Theonethatyouhave?"sheasked.
"Why,thisone——thisonewasintheartichokes."
"Oh,thentheotheroneisamongthestrawberries,bythewell."
Andshebegantosobsopiteouslythatnoonecouldhearherunmoved.
ThegirlRosaliePrudentwasacquitted.
REGRET
MonsieurSaval,whowascalledinMantes"FatherSaval,"hadjustrisenfrombed.Hewasweeping.Itwasadullautumnday;theleaveswerefalling.Theyfellslowlyintherain,likeaheavierandslowerrain.
M.Savalwasnotingoodspirits.Hewalkedfromthefireplacetothewindow,andfromthewindowtothefireplace.Lifehasitssombredays.
Itwouldnolongerhaveanybutsombredaysforhim,forhehadreachedtheageofsixty—two.Heisalone,anoldbachelor,withnobodyabouthim.Howsaditistodiealone,allalone,withoutanyonewhoisdevotedtoyou!
Heponderedoverhislife,sobarren,soempty.Herecalledformerdays,thedaysofhischildhood,thehome,thehouseofhisparents;hiscollegedays,hisfollies;thetimehestudiedlawinParis,hisfather’sillness,hisdeath.Hethenreturnedtolivewithhismother.Theylivedtogetherveryquietly,anddesirednothingmore.Atlastthemotherdied.Howsadlifeis!Helivedalonesincethen,andnow,inhisturn,he,too,willsoonbedead.Hewilldisappear,andthatwillbetheend.TherewillbenomoreofPaulSavalupontheearth.Whatafrightfulthing!Otherpeoplewilllove,willlaugh.Yes,peoplewillgoonamusingthemselves,andhewillnolongerexist!Isitnotstrangethatpeoplecanlaugh,amusethemselves,bejoyfulunderthateternalcertaintyofdeath?Ifthisdeathwereonlyprobable,onecouldthenhavehope;butno,itisinevitable,asinevitableasthatnightfollowstheday.
If,however,hislifehadbeenfull!Ifhehaddonesomething;ifhehadhadadventures,greatpleasures,success,satisfactionofsomekindoranother.Butno,nothing.Hehaddonenothing,nothingbutrisefrombed,eat,atthesamehours,andgotobedagain.Andhehadgoneonlikethattotheageofsixty—twoyears.Hehadnoteventakenuntohimselfawife,asothermendo.Why?Yes,whywasitthathehadnotmarried?Hemighthavedoneso,forhepossessedconsiderablemeans.
Hadhelackedanopportunity?Perhaps!Butonecancreateopportunities.Hewasindifferent;thatwasall.Indifferencehadbeenhisgreatestdrawback,hisdefect,hisvice.Howmanymenwrecktheirlivesthroughindifference!Itissodifficultforsomenaturestogetoutofbed,tomoveabout,totakelongwalks,tospeak,tostudyanyquestion.
Hehadnotevenbeenloved.Nowomanhadreposedonhisbosom,inacompleteabandonoflove.Heknewnothingofthedeliciousanguishofexpectation,thedivinevibrationofahandinyours,oftheecstasyoftriumphantpassion.
Whatsuperhumanhappinessmustoverflowyourheart,whenlipsencounterlipsforthefirsttime,whenthegraspoffourarmsmakesonebeingofyou,abeingunutterablyhappy,twobeingsinfatuatedwithoneanother.
M.Savalwassittingbeforethefire,hisfeetonthefender,inhisdressinggown.Assuredlyhislifehadbeenspoiled,completelyspoiled.
Hehad,however,loved.Hehadlovedsecretly,sadly,andindifferently,inamannercharacteristicofhimineverything.Yes,hehadlovedhisoldfriend,MadameSandres,thewifeofhisoldcompanion,Sandres.
Ah!ifhehadknownherasayounggirl!Buthehadmethertoolate;
shewasalreadymarried.Unquestionably,hewouldhaveaskedherhand!
Howhehadlovedher,nevertheless,withoutrespite,sincethefirstdayheseteyesonher!
Herecalledhisemotioneverytimehesawher,hisgriefonleavingher,themanynightsthathecouldnotsleep,becausehewasthinkingofher.
Onrisinginthemorninghewassomewhatmorerationalthanonthepreviousevening.
Why?
Howprettyshewasformerly,sodainty,withfaircurlyhair,andalwayslaughing.Sandreswasnotthemansheshouldhavechosen.Shewasnowfifty—twoyearsofage.Sheseemedhappy.Ah!ifshehadonlylovedhimindaysgoneby;yes,ifshehadonlylovedhim!Andwhyshouldshenothavelovedhim,he,Saval,seeingthathelovedhersomuch,yes,she,MadameSandres!
Ifonlyshecouldhaveguessed.Hadshenotguessedanything,seenanything,comprehendedanything?Whatwouldshehavethought?Ifhehadspoken,whatwouldshehaveanswered?
AndSavalaskedhimselfathousandotherthings.Hereviewedhiswholelife,seekingtorecallamultitudeofdetails.
HerecalledallthelongeveningsspentatthehouseofSandres,whenthelatter’swifewasyoung,andsocharming.
Herecalledmanythingsthatshehadsaidtohim,theintonationsofhervoice,thelittlesignificantsmilesthatmeantsomuch.
Herecalledtheirwalks,thethreeofthemtogether,alongthebanksoftheSeine,theirluncheononthegrassonSundays,forSandreswasemployedatthesub—prefecture.Andallatoncethedistinctrecollectioncametohimofanafternoonspentwithherinalittlewoodonthebanksoftheriver.
Theyhadsetoutinthemorning,carryingtheirprovisionsinbaskets.
Itwasabrightspringmorning,oneofthosedayswhichintoxicateone.
Everythingsmellsfresh,everythingseemshappy.Thevoicesofthebirdssoundmorejoyous,and—theyflymoreswiftly.Theyhadluncheononthegrass,underthewillowtrees,quiteclosetothewater,whichglitteredinthesun’srays.Theairwasbalmy,chargedwiththeodorsoffreshvegetation;theydrankitinwithdelight.Howpleasanteverythingwasonthatday!
Afterlunch,Sandreswenttosleeponthebroadofhisback."Thebestnaphehadinhislife,"saidhe,whenhewokeup.
MadameSandreshadtakenthearmofSaval,andtheystartedtowalkalongtheriverbank.
Sheleanedtenderlyonhisarm.Shelaughedandsaidtohim:"Iamintoxicated,myfriend,Iamquiteintoxicated."Helookedather,hisheartgoingpit—a—pat.Hefelthimselfgrowpale,fearfulthathemighthavelookedtooboldlyather,andthatthetremblingofhishandhadrevealedhispassion.
Shehadmadeawreathofwildflowersandwater—lilies,andsheaskedhim:"DoIlookprettylikethat?"
Ashedidnotanswer——forhecouldfindnothingtosay,hewouldhavelikedtogodownonhisknees——sheburstoutlaughing,asortofannoyed,displeasedlaugh,asshesaid:"Greatgoose,whatailsyou?Youmightatleastsaysomething."
Hefeltlikecrying,butcouldnotevenyetfindawordtosay.
Allthesethingscamebacktohimnow,asvividlyasonthedaywhentheytookplace.Whyhadshesaidthistohim,"Greatgoose,whatailsyou?
Youmightatleastsaysomething!"
Andherecalledhowtenderlyshehadleanedonhisarm.Andinpassingunderashadytreehehadfeltherearbrushinghischeek,andhehadmovedhisheadabruptly,lestsheshouldsupposehewastoofamiliar.
Whenhehadsaidtoher:"Isitnottimetoreturn?"shedartedasingularlookathim."Certainly,"shesaid,"certainly,"regardinghimatthesametimeinacuriousmanner.Hehadnotthoughtofitatthetime,butnowthewholethingappearedtohimquiteplain.
"Justasyoulike,myfriend.Ifyouaretiredletusgoback."
Andhehadanswered:"Iamnotfatigued;butSandresmaybeawakenow."
Andshehadsaid:"Ifyouareafraidofmyhusband’sbeingawake,thatisanotherthing.Letusreturn."
Ontheirwaybacksheremainedsilent,andleanednolongeronhisarm.
Why?
Atthattimeithadneveroccurredtohim,toaskhimself"why."Nowheseemedtoapprehendsomethingthathehadnotthenunderstood.
Couldit?
M.Savalfelthimselfblush,andhegotupatabound,asifhewerethirtyyearsyoungerandhadheardMadameSandressay,"Iloveyou."
Wasitpossible?Thatideawhichhadjustenteredhismindtorturedhim.
Wasitpossiblethathehadnotseen,hadnotguessed?
Oh!ifthatweretrue,ifhehadletthisopportunityofhappinesspasswithouttakingadvantageofit!
Hesaidtohimself:"Imustknow.Icannotremaininthisstateofdoubt.Imustknow!"Hethought:"Iamsixty—twoyearsofage,sheisfifty—eight;Imayaskherthatnowwithoutgivingoffense."
Hestartedout.
TheSandres’housewassituatedontheothersideofthestreet,almostdirectlyoppositehisown.Hewentacrossandknockedatthedoor,andalittleservantopenedit.
"Youhereatthishour,Saval!Hassomeaccidenthappenedtoyou?"
"No,mygirl,"hereplied;"butgoandtellyourmistressthatIwanttospeaktoheratonce."
"Thefactismadameispreservingpearsforthewinter,andsheisinthepreservingroom.Sheisnotdressed,youunderstand."
"Yes,butgoandtellherthatIwishtoseeheronaveryimportantmatter."
Thelittleservantwentaway,andSavalbegantowalk,withlong,nervousstrides,upanddownthedrawing—room.Hedidnotfeelintheleastembarrassed,however.Oh!hewasmerelygoingtoaskhersomething,ashewouldhaveaskedheraboutsomecookingrecipe.Hewassixty—twoyearsofage!
Thedooropenedandmadameappeared.Shewasnowalargewoman,fatandround,withfullcheeksandasonorouslaugh.Shewalkedwithherarmsawayfromhersidesandhersleevestuckedup,herbarearmsallcoveredwithfruitjuice.Sheaskedanxiously:
"Whatisthematterwithyou,myfriend?Youarenotill,areyou?"
"No,mydearfriend;butIwishtoaskyouonething,whichtomeisofthefirstimportance,somethingwhichistorturingmyheart,andIwantyoutopromisethatyouwillanswermefrankly."
Shelaughed,"Iamalwaysfrank.Sayon."
"Well,then.IhavelovedyoufromthefirstdayIeversawyou.Canyouhaveanydoubtofthis?"
Sheresponded,laughing,withsomethingofherformertoneofvoice.
"Greatgoose!whatailsyou?Iknewitfromtheveryfirstday!"
Savalbegantotremble.Hestammeredout:"Youknewit?Then"
Hestopped.
Sheasked:
"Then?
Heanswered:
"Then——whatdidyouthink?What——what——whatwouldyouhaveanswered?"
Shebrokeintoapealoflaughter.Someofthejuiceranoffthetipsofherfingersontothecarpet.
"What?"
"I?Why,youdidnotaskmeanything.Itwasnotformetodeclaremyself!"
Hethenadvancedasteptowardher.
"Tellme——tellmeYourememberthedaywhenSandreswenttosleeponthegrassafterlunchwhenwehadwalkedtogetherasfarasthebendoftheriver,below"
Hewaited,expectantly.Shehadceasedtolaugh,andlookedathim,straightintheeyes.
"Yes,certainly,Irememberit."
Heanswered,tremblingallover:
"Well——thatday——ifIhadbeen——ifIhadbeen——venturesome——whatwouldyouhavedone?"
Shebegantolaughasonlyahappywomancanlaugh,whohasnothingtoregret,andrespondedfrankly,inaclearvoicetingedwithirony:
"Iwouldhaveyielded,myfriend."
Shethenturnedonherheelsandwentbacktoherjam—making.
Savalrushedintothestreet,castdown,asthoughhehadmetwithsomedisaster.Hewalkedwithgiantstridesthroughtherain,straighton,untilhereachedtheriverbank,withoutthinkingwherehewasgoing.
Hethenturnedtotherightandfollowedtheriver.Hewalkedalongtime,asifurgedonbysomeinstinct.Hisclotheswererunningwithwater,hishatwasoutofshape,assoftasarag,anddrippinglikearoof.Hewalkedon,straightinfrontofhim.Atlast,hecametotheplacewheretheyhadlunchedonthatdaysolongago,therecollectionofwhichtorturedhisheart.Hesatdownundertheleaflesstrees,andwept.
ASISTER’SCONFESSION
MargueritedeTherelleswasdying.Althoughshewas—onlyfifty—sixyearsoldshelookedatleastseventy—five.Shegaspedforbreath,herfacewhiterthanthesheets,andhadspasmsofviolentshivering,withherfaceconvulsedandhereyeshaggardasthoughshesawafrightfulvision.
Hereldersister,Suzanne,sixyearsolderthanherself,wassobbingonherkneesbesidethebed.Asmalltableclosetothedyingwoman’scouchbore,onawhitecloth,twolightedcandles,forthepriestwasexpectedatanymomenttoadministerextremeunctionandthelastcommunion.
Theapartmentworethatmelancholyaspectcommontodeathchambers;alookofdespairingfarewell.Medicinebottleslitteredthefurniture;
linenlayinthecornersintowhichithadbeenkickedorswept.Theverychairslooked,intheirdisarray,asiftheywereterrifiedandhadruninalldirections.Death——terribleDeath——wasintheroom,hidden,awaitinghisprey.
Thishistoryofthetwosisterswasanaffectingone.Itwasspokenoffarandwide;ithaddrawntearsfrommanyeyes.
Suzanne,theelder,hadoncebeenpassionatelylovedbyayoungman,whoseaffectionshereturned.Theywereengagedtobemarried,andtheweddingdaywasathand,whenHenrydeSampierresuddenlydied.
Theyounggirl’sdespairwasterrible,andshetookanoathnevertomarry.Shefaithfullykepthervowandadoptedwidow’sweedsfortheremainderofherlife.
Butonemorninghersister,herlittlesisterMarguerite,thenonlytwelveyearsold,threwherselfintoSuzanne’sarms,sobbing:"Sister,I
don’twantyoutobeunhappy.Idon’twantyoutomournallyourlife.
I’llneverleaveyou——never,never,never!Ishallnevermarry,either.
I’llstaywithyoualways——always!"
Suzannekissedher,touchedbythechild’sdevotion,thoughnotputtinganyfaithinherpromise.
Butthelittleonekeptherword,and,despiteherparents’
remonstrances,despitehereldersister’sprayers,nevermarried.
Shewasremarkablyprettyandrefusedmanyoffers.Sheneverlefthersister.
Theyspenttheirwholelifetogether,withoutasingleday’sseparation.
Theywenteverywheretogetherandwereinseparable.ButMargueritewaspensive,melancholy,sadderthanhersister,asifhersublimesacrificehadunderminedherspirits.Shegrewoldermorequickly;herhairwaswhiteatthirty;andshewasoftenill,apparentlystrickenwithsomeunknown,wastingmalady.
Andnowshewouldbethefirsttodie.
Shehadnotspokenfortwenty—fourhours,excepttowhisperatdaybreak:
"Sendatonceforthepriest."
Andshehadsinceremainedlyingonherback,convulsedwithagony,herlipsmovingasifunabletoutterthedreadfulwordsthatroseinherheart,herfaceexpressiveofaterrordistressingtowitness.
Suzanne,distractedwithgrief,herbrowpressedagainstthebed,weptbitterly,repeatingoverandoveragainthewords:
"Margot,mypoorMargot,mylittleone!"
Shehadalwayscalledher"mylittleone,"whileMarguerite’snamefortheelderwasinvariably"sister."
Afootstepsoundedonthestairs.Thedooropened.Anacolyteappeared,followedbytheagedpriestinhissurplice.Assoonasshesawhimthedyingwomansatupsuddenlyinbed,openedherlips,stammeredafewwordsandbegantoscratchthebed—clothes,asifshewouldhavemadeholeinthem.
FatherSimonapproached,tookherhand,kissedherontheforeheadandsaidinagentlevoice:
"MayGodpardonyoursins,mydaughter.Beofgoodcourage.Nowisthemomenttoconfessthem——speak!"
ThenMarguerite,shudderingfromheadtofoot,sothattheverybedshookwithhernervousmovements,gasped:
"Sitdown,sister,andlisten."
TheprieststoopedtowardtheprostrateSuzanne,raisedhertoherfeet,placedherinachair,and,takingahandofeachofthesisters,pronounced:
"LordGod!Sendthemstrength!ShedThymercyuponthem."
AndMargueritebegantospeak.Thewordsissuedfromherlipsonebyone——hoarse,jerky,tremulous.
"Pardon,pardon,sister!pardonme!Oh,ifonlyyouknewhowIhavedreadedthismomentallmylife!"
Suzannefalteredthroughhertears:
"ButwhathaveItopardon,littleone?Youhavegivenmeeverything,sacrificedalltome.Youareanangel."
ButMargueriteinterruptedher:
"Besilent,besilent!Letmespeak!Don’tstopme!Itisterrible.
Letmetellall,totheveryend,withoutinterruption.Listen.Youremember——youremember——Henry——"
Suzannetrembledandlookedathersister.Theyoungeronewenton:
"Inordertounderstandyoumustheareverything.Iwastwelveyearsold——onlytwelve——youremember,don’tyou?AndIwasspoilt;IdidjustasIpleased.Yourememberhoweverybodyspoiltme?Listen.Thefirsttimehecamehehadonhisridingboots;hedismounted,sayingthathehadamessageforfather.Youremember,don’tyou?Don’tspeak.
Listen.WhenIsawhimIwasstruckwithadmiration.Ithoughthimsohandsome,andIstayedinacornerofthedrawing—roomallthetimehewastalking.Childrenarestrange——andterrible.Yes,indeed,Idreamtofhim.
"Hecameagain——manytimes.Ilookedathimwithallmyeyes,allmyheart.Iwaslargeformyageandmuchmoreprecociousthan——anyonesuspected.Hecameoften.Ithoughtonlyofhim.Ioftenwhisperedtomyself:
"’Henry—HenrydeSampierre!’
"ThenIwastoldthathewasgoingtomarryyou.Thatwasablow!Oh,sister,aterribleblow——terrible!Iweptallthroughthreesleeplessnights.
Hecameeveryafternoonafterlunch.Youremember,don’tyou?Don’tanswer.Listen.Youusedtomakecakesthathewasveryfondof——withflour,butterandmilk.Oh,Iknowhowtomakethem.Icouldmakethemstill,ifnecessary.Hewouldswallowthematonemouthfulandwashthemdownwithaglassofwine,saying:’Delicious!’Doyourememberthewayhesaidit?
"Iwasjealous——jealous!Yourweddingdaywasdrawingnear.Itwasonlyafortnightdistant.Iwasdistracted.Isaidtomyself:’HeshallnotmarrySuzanne——no,heshallnot!HeshallmarrymewhenIamoldenough!
Ishallneverloveanyonehalfsomuch.’Butoneevening,tendaysbeforethewedding,youwentforastrollwithhiminthemoonlightbeforethehouse——andyonder——underthepinetree,thebigpinetree——hekissedyou——kissedyou——andheldyouinhisarmssolong——solong!Youremember,don’tyou?Itwasprobablythefirsttime.Youweresopalewhenyoucarnebacktothedrawing—room!
"Isawyou.Iwasthereintheshrubbery.Iwasmadwithrage!IwouldhavekilledyoubothifIcould!
"Isaidtomyself:’HeshallnevermarrySuzanne——never!Heshallmarrynoone!Icouldnotbearit.’AndallatonceIbegantohatehimintensely.
"ThendoyouknowwhatIdid?Listen.Ihadseenthegardenerpreparepelletsforkillingstraydogs.Hewouldcrushabottleintosmallpieceswithastoneandputthegroundglassintoaballofmeat.
"Istoleasmallmedicinebottlefrommother’sroom.Igrounditfinewithahammerandhidtheglassinmypocket.Itwasaglisteningpowder.Thenextday,whenyouhadmadeyourlittlecakes;Iopenedthemwithaknifeandinsertedtheglass.Heatethree.Iateonemyself.I
threwthesixothersintothepond.Thetwoswansdiedthreedayslater.
Youremember?Oh,don’tspeak!Listen,listen.I,Ialonedidnotdie.
ButIhavealwaysbeenill.Listen——hedied——youknow——listen——thatwasnottheworst.Itwasafterward,later——always——themostterrible——
listen.
"Mylife,allmylife——suchtorture!Isaidtomyself:’Iwillneverleavemysister.AndonmydeathbedIwilltellherall.’AndnowI
havetold.AndIhavealwaysthoughtofthismoment——themomentwhenallwouldbetold.Nowithascome.Itisterrible——oh!——sister——
"Ihavealwaysthought,morningandevening,dayandnight:’Ishallhavetotellhersomeday!’Iwaited.Thehorrorofit!Itisdone.Saynothing.NowIamafraid——Iamafraid!Oh!SupposingIshouldseehimagain,byandby,whenIamdead!Seehimagain!Onlytothinkofit!
Idarenot——yetImust.Iamgoingtodie.Iwantyoutoforgiveme.
Iinsistonit.Icannotmeethimwithoutyourforgiveness.Oh,tellhertoforgiveme,Father!Tellher.Iimploreyou!Icannotdiewithoutit."
Shewassilentandlayback,gaspingforbreath,stillpluckingatthesheetswithherfingers.
Suzannehadhiddenherfaceinherhandsanddidnotmove.Shewasthinkingofhimwhomshehadlovedsolong.Whatalifeofhappinesstheymighthavehadtogether!Shesawhimagaininthedimanddistantpast—thatpastforeverlost.Beloveddead!howthethoughtofthemrendstheheart!Oh!thatkiss,hisonlykiss!Shehadretainedthememoryofitinhersoul.And,afterthat,nothing,nothingmorethroughoutherwholeexistence!
Thepriestrosesuddenlyandinafirm,compellingvoicesaid:
"MademoiselleSuzanne,yoursisterisdying!"
ThenSuzanne,raisinghertear—stainedface,putherarmsroundhersister,andkissingherfervently,exclaimed:
"Iforgiveyou,Iforgiveyou,littleone!"
COCO
ThroughoutthewholecountrysidetheLucasfarn,wasknownas"theManor."Nooneknewwhy.Thepeasantsdoubtlessattachedtothisword,"Manor,"ameaningofwealthandofsplendor,forthisfarmwasundoubtedlythelargest,richestandthebestmanagedinthewholeneighborhood.
Theimmensecourt,surroundedbyfiverowsofmagnificenttrees,whichshelteredthedelicateappletreesfromtheharshwindoftheplain,inclosedinitsconfineslongbrickbuildingsusedforstoringfodderandgrain,beautifulstablesbuiltofhardstoneandmadetoaccommodatethirtyhorses,andaredbrickresidencewhichlookedlikealittlechateau.
Thanksforthegoodcaretaken,themanureheapswereaslittleoffensiveassuchthingscanbe;thewatch—dogslivedinkennels,andcountlesspoultryparadedthroughthetallgrass.
Everyday,atnoon,fifteenpersons,masters,farmhandsandthewomenfolks,seatedthemselvesaroundthelongkitchentablewherethesoupwasbroughtinsteaminginalarge,blue—floweredbowl.
Thebeasts—horses,cows,pigsandsheep—werefat,wellfedandclean.
MaitreLucas,atallmanwhowasgettingstout,wouldgoroundthreetimesaday,overseeingeverythingandthinkingofeverything.
Averyoldwhitehorse,whichthemistresswishedtokeepuntilitsnaturaldeath,becauseshehadbroughtitupandhadalwaysusedit,andalsobecauseitrecalledmanyhappymemories,washoused,throughsheerkindnessofheart,attheendofthestable.
Ayoungscampaboutfifteenyearsold,IsidoreDuvalbyname,andcalled,forconvenience,Zidore,tookcareofthispensioner,gavehimhismeasureofoatsandfodderinwinter,andinsummerwassupposedtochangehispasturingplacefourtimesaday,sothathemighthaveplentyoffreshgrass.
Theanimal,almostcrippled,liftedwithdifficultyhislegs,largeatthekneesandswollenabovethehoofs.Hiscoat,whichwasnolongercurried,lookedlikewhitehair,andhislongeyelashesgavetohiseyesasadexpression.
WhenZidoretooktheanimaltopasture,hehadtopullontheropewithallhismight,becauseitwalkedsoslowly;andtheyouth,bentoverandoutofbreath,wouldswearatit,exasperatedathavingtocareforthisoldnag.
Thefarmhands,noticingtheyoungrascal’sangeragainstCoco,wereamusedandwouldcontinuallytalkofthehorsetoZidore,inordertoexasperatehim.Hiscomradeswouldmakesportwithhim.InthevillagehewascalledCoco—Zidore.
Theboywouldfume,feelinganunholydesiretorevengehimselfonthehorse.Hewasathin,long—legged,dirtychild,withthick,coarse,bristlyredhair.Heseemedonlyhalf—witted,andstutteredasthoughideaswereunabletoforminhisthick,brute—likemind.
ForalongtimehehadbeenunabletounderstandwhyCocoshouldbekept,indignantatseeingthingswastedonthisuselessbeast.Sincethehorsecouldnolongerwork,itseemedtohimunjustthatheshouldbefed;
herevoltedattheideaofwastingoats,oatswhichweresoexpensive,onthisparalyzedoldplug.Andoften,inspiteoftheordersofMaitreLucas,hewouldeconomizeonthenag’sfood,onlygivinghimhalfmeasure.Hatredgrewinhisconfused,childlikemind,thehatredofastingy,mean,fierce,brutalandcowardlypeasant.
Whensummercamehehadtomovetheanimalaboutinthepasture.Itwassomedistanceaway.Therascal,angriereverymorning,wouldstart,withhisdraggingstep,acrossthewheatfields.Themenworkinginthefieldswouldshouttohim,jokingly:
"Hey,Zidore,remembermetoCoco."
Hewouldnotanswer;butonthewayhewouldbreakoffaswitch,and,assoonashehadmovedtheoldhorse,hewouldletitbegingrazing;then,treacherouslysneakingupbehindit,hewouldslashitslegs.Theanimalwouldtrytoescape,tokick,togetawayfromtheblows,andrunaroundinacircleaboutitsrope,asthoughithadbeeninclosedinacircusring.Andtheboywouldslashawayfuriously,runningalongbehind,histeethclenchedinanger.
Thenhewouldgoawayslowly,withoutturninground,whilethehorsewatchedhimdisappear,hisribsstickingout,pantingasaresultofhisunusualexertions.Notuntiltheblueblouseoftheyoungpeasantwasoutofsightwouldhelowerhisthinwhiteheadtothegrass.
Asthenightswerenowwarm,Cocowasallowedtosleepoutofdoors,inthefieldbehindthelittlewood.Zidorealonewenttoseehim.
Theboythrewstonesathimtoamusehimself.Hewouldsitdownonanembankmentabouttenfeetawayandwouldstaythereabouthalfanhour,fromtimetotimethrowingasharpstoneattheoldhorse,whichremainedstandingtiedbeforehisenemy,watchinghimcontinuallyandnotdaringtoeatbeforehewasgone.
Thisonethoughtpersistedinthemindoftheyoungscamp:"Whyfeedthishorse,whichisnolongergoodforanything?"Itseemedtohimthatthisoldnagwasstealingthefoodoftheothers,thegoodsofmanandGod,thathewasevenrobbinghim,Zidore,whowasworking.
Then,littlebylittle,eachday,theboybegantoshortenthelengthofropewhichallowedthehorsetograze.
Thehungryanimalwasgrowingthinner,andstarving.Toofeebletobreakhisbonds,hewouldstretchhisheadouttowardthetall,green,temptinggrass,sonearthathecouldsmell,andyetsofarthathecouldnottouchit.
ButonemorningZidorehadanidea:itwas,nottomoveCocoanymore.
Hewastiredofwalkingsofarforthatoldskeleton.Hecame,however,inordertoenjoyhisvengeance.Thebeastwatchedhimanxiously.Hedidnotbeathimthatday.Hewalkedaroundhimwithhishandsinhispockets.Heevenpretendedtochangehisplace,buthesankthestakeinexactlythesamehole,andwentawayoverjoyedwithhisinvention.
Thehorse,seeinghimleave,neighedtocallhimback;buttherascalbegantorun,leavinghimalone,entirelyaloneinhisfield,welltieddownandwithoutabladeofgrasswithinreach.
Starving,hetriedtoreachthegrasswhichhecouldtouchwiththeendofhisnose.Hegotonhisknees,stretchingouthisneckandhislong,droolinglips.Allinvain.Theoldanimalspentthewholedayinuseless,terribleefforts.Thesightofallthatgreenfood,whichstretchedoutonallsidesofhim,servedtoincreasethegnawingpangsofhunger.
Thescampdidnotreturnthatday.Hewanderedthroughthewoodsinsearchofnests.
Thenextdayheappeareduponthesceneagain.Coco,exhausted,hadlaindown.Whenhesawtheboy,hegotup,expectingatlasttohavehisplacechanged.
Butthelittlepeasantdidnoteventouchthemallet,whichwaslyingontheground.Hecamenearer,lookedattheanimal,threwathisheadaclumpofearthwhichflattenedoutagainstthewhitehair,andhestartedoffagain,whistling.
Thehorseremainedstandingaslongashecouldseehim;then,knowingthathisattemptstoreachthenear—bygrasswouldbehopeless,heoncemorelaydownonhissideandclosedhiseyes.
ThefollowingdayZidoredidnotcome.
Whenhedidcomeatlast,hefoundCocostillstretchedout;hesawthathewasdead.
Thenheremainedstanding,lookingathim,pleasedwithwhathehaddone,surprisedthatitshouldalreadybeallover.Hetouchedhimwithhisfoot,liftedoneofhislegsandthenletitdrop,satonhimandremainedthere,hiseyesfixedonthegrass,thinkingofnothing.Hereturnedtothefarm,butdidnotmentiontheaccident,becausehewishedtowanderaboutatthehourswhenheusedtochangethehorse’spasture.
Hewenttoseehimthenextday.Athisapproachsomecrowsflewaway.
Countlessflieswerewalkingoverthebodyandwerebuzzingaroundit.
Whenhereturnedhome,heannouncedtheevent.Theanimalwassooldthatnobodywassurprised.Themastersaidtotwoofthemen:
"Takeyourshovelsanddigaholerightwhereheis."
Themenburiedthehorseattheplacewherehehaddiedofhunger.
Andthegrassgrewthick,greenandvigorous,fedbythepoorbody.
DEADWOMAN’SSECRET
Thewomanhaddiedwithoutpain,quietly,asawomanshouldwhoselifehadbeenblameless.Nowshewasrestinginherbed,lyingonherback,hereyesclosed,herfeaturescalm,herlongwhitehaircarefullyarrangedasthoughshehaddoneituptenminutesbeforedying.Thewholepalecountenanceofthedeadwomanwassocollected,socalm,soresignedthatonecouldfeelwhatasweetsoulhadlivedinthatbody,whataquietexistencethisoldsoulhadled,howeasyandpurethedeathofthisparenthadbeen.
Kneelingbesidethebed,herson,amagistratewithinflexibleprinciples,andherdaughter,Marguerite,knownasSisterEulalie,wereweepingasthoughtheirheartswouldbreak.Shehad,fromchildhoodup,armedthemwithastrictmoralcode,teachingthemreligion,withoutweakness,andduty,withoutcompromise.He,theman,hadbecomeajudgeandhandledthelawasaweaponwithwhichhesmotetheweakoneswithoutpity.She,thegirl,influencedbythevirtuewhichhadbathedherinthisausterefamily,hadbecomethebrideoftheChurchthroughherloathingforman.
Theyhadhardlyknowntheirfather,knowingonlythathehadmadetheirmothermostunhappy,withoutbeingtoldanyotherdetails.
Thenunwaswildly—kissingthedeadwoman’shand,anivoryhandaswhiteasthelargecrucifixlyingacrossthebed.Ontheothersideofthelongbodytheotherhandseemedstilltobeholdingthesheetinthedeathgrasp;andthesheethadpreservedthelittlecreasesasamemoryofthoselastmovementswhichprecedeeternalimmobility.
Afewlighttapsonthedoorcausedthetwosobbingheadstolookup,andthepriest,whohadjustcomefromdinner,returned.Hewasredandoutofbreathfromhisinterrupteddigestion,forhehadmadehimselfastrongmixtureofcoffeeandbrandyinordertocombatthefatigueofthelastfewnightsandofthewakewhichwasbeginning.
Helookedsad,withthatassumedsadnessofthepriestforwhomdeathisabreadwinner.Hecrossedhimselfandapproachingwithhisprofessionalgesture:"Well,mypoorchildren!Ihavecometohelpyoupasstheselastsadhours."ButSisterEulaliesuddenlyarose."Thankyou,"father,butmybrotherandIprefertoremainalonewithher.Thisisourlastchancetoseeher,andwewishtobetogether,allthreeofus,aswe——we——usedtobewhenweweresmallandourpoormo——mother————"
Griefandtearsstoppedher;shecouldnotcontinue.
Oncemoreserene,thepriestbowed,thinkingofhisbed."Asyouwish,mychildren."Hekneeled,crossedhimself,prayed,aroseandwentoutquietly,murmuring:"Shewasasaint!"
Theyremainedalone,thedeadwomanandherchildren.Thetickingoftheclock,hiddenintheshadow,couldbehearddistinctly,andthroughtheopenwindowdriftedinthesweetsmellofhayandofwoods,togetherwiththesoftmoonlight.Noothernoisecouldbeheardoverthelandexcepttheoccasionalcroakingofthefrogorthechirpingofsomebelatedinsect.Aninfinitepeace,adivinemelancholy,asilentserenitysurroundedthisdeadwoman,seemedtobebreathedoutfromherandtoappeasenatureitself.
Thenthejudge,stillkneeling,hisheadburiedinthebedclothes,criedinavoicealteredbygriefanddeadenedbythesheetsandblankets:
"Mamma,mamma,mamma!"Andhissister,franticallystrikingherforeheadagainstthewoodwork,convulsed,twitchingandtremblingasinanepilepticfit,moaned:"Jesus,Jesus,mamma,Jesus!"Andbothofthem,shakenbyastormofgrief,gaspedandchoked.
Thecrisisslowlycalmeddownandtheybegantoweepquietly,justasontheseawhenacalmfollowsasquall.
Aratherlongtimepassedandtheyaroseandlookedattheirdead.
Andthememories,thosedistantmemories,yesterdaysodear,to—daysotorturing,cametotheirmindswithallthelittleforgottendetails,thoselittleintimatefamiliardetailswhichbringbacktolifetheonewhohasleft.Theyrecalledtoeachothercircumstances,words,smiles,intonationsofthemotherwhowasnolongertospeaktothem.Theysawheragainhappyandcalm.Theyrememberedthingswhichshehadsaid,andalittlemotionofthehand,likebeatingtime,whichsheoftenusedwhenemphasizingsomethingimportant.
Andtheylovedherastheyneverhadlovedherbefore.Theymeasuredthedepthoftheirgrief,andthustheydiscoveredhowlonelytheywouldfindthemselves.
Itwastheirprop,theirguide,theirwholeyouth,allthebestpartoftheirliveswhichwasdisappearing.Itwastheirbondwithlife,theirmother,theirmamma,theconnectinglinkwiththeirforefatherswhichtheywouldthenceforthmiss.Theynowbecamesolitary,lonelybeings;
theycouldnolongerlookback.
Thenunsaidtoherbrother:"Yourememberhowmammausedalwaystoreadheroldletters;theyareallthereinthatdrawer.Letus,inturn,readthem;letusliveherwholelifethroughtonightbesideher!Itwouldbelikearoadtothecross,likemakingtheacquaintanceofhermother,ofourgrandparents,whomweneverknew,butwhoselettersarethereandofwhomshesooftenspoke,doyouremember?"
Outofthedrawertheytookabouttenlittlepackagesofyellowpaper,tiedwithcareandarrangedonebesidetheother.Theythrewtheserelicsonthebedandchoseoneofthemonwhichtheword"Father"waswritten.Theyopenedandreadit.
Itwasoneofthoseold—fashionedletterswhichonefindsinoldfamilydeskdrawers,thoseepistleswhichsmellofanothercentury.Thefirstonestarted:"Mydear,"anotherone:"Mybeautifullittlegirl,"others:
"Mydearchild,"or:"Mydear(laughter."Andsuddenlythenunbegantoreadaloud,toreadovertothedeadwomanherwholehistory,allhertendermemories.Thejudge,restinghiselbowonthebed,waslisteningwithhiseyesfastenedonhismother.Themotionlessbodyseemedhappy.
SisterEulalie,interruptingherself,saidsuddenly:
"Theseoughttobeputinthegravewithher;theyoughttobeusedasashroudandsheoughttobeburiedinit."Shetookanotherpackage,onwhichnonamewaswritten.Shebegantoreadinafirmvoice:"Myadoredone,Iloveyouwildly.SinceyesterdayIhavebeensufferingthetorturesofthedamned,hauntedbyourmemory.Ifeelyourlipsagainstmine,youreyesinmine,yourbreastagainstmine.Iloveyou,Iloveyou!Youhavedrivenmemad.Myarmsopen,Igasp,movedbyawilddesiretoholdyouagain.Mywholesoulandbodycriesoutforyou,wantsyou.Ihavekeptinmymouththetasteofyourkisses——"
Thejudgehadstraightenedhimselfup.Thenunstoppedreading.Hesnatchedtheletterfromherandlookedforthesignature.Therewasnone,butonlyunderthewords,"Themanwhoadoresyou,"thename"Henry."Theirfather’snamewasRene.Thereforethiswasnotfromhim.
Thesonthenquicklyrummagedthroughthepackageofletters,tookoneoutandread:"Icannolongerlivewithoutyourcaresses."Standingerect,severeaswhensittingonthebench,helookedunmovedatthedeadwoman.Thenun,straightasastatue,tearstremblinginthecornersofhereyes,waswatchingherbrother,waiting.Thenhecrossedtheroomslowly,wenttothewindowandstoodthere,gazingoutintothedarknight.
WhenheturnedaroundagainSisterEulalie,hereyesdrynow,wasstillstandingnearthebed,herheadbentdown.
Hesteppedforward,quicklypickedupthelettersandthrewthempell—
mellbackintothedrawer.Thenheclosedthecurtainsofthebed.
Whendaylightmadethecandlesonthetableturnpalethesonslowlylefthisarmchair,andwithoutlookingagainatthemotheruponwhomhehadpassedsentence,severingthetiethatunitedhertosonanddaughter,hesaidslowly:"Letusnowretire,sister."
AHUMBLEDRAMA
Meetingsthatareunexpectedconstitutethecharmoftraveling.WhohasnotexperiencedthejoyofsuddenlycomingacrossaParisian,acollegefriend,oraneighbor,fivehundredmilesfromhome?Whohasnotpassedanightawakeinoneofthosesmall,rattlingcountrystagecoaches,inregionswheresteamisstillathingunknown,besideastrangeyoungwoman,ofwhomonehascaughtonlyaglimpseinthedimlightofthelantern,assheenteredthecarriageinfrontofawhitehouseinsomesmallcountrytown?
Andthenextmorning,whenone’sheadandearsfeelnumbwiththecontinuoustinklingofthebellsandtheloudrattlingofthewindows,whatacharmingsensationitistoseeyourprettyneighboropenhereyes,startled,glancearoundher,arrangeherrebellioushairwithherslenderfingers,adjustherhat,feelwithsurehandwhetherhercorsetisstillinplace,herwaiststraight,andherskirtnottoowrinkled.
Sheglancesatyoucoldlyandcuriously.Thensheleansbackandnolongerseemsinterestedinanythingbutthecountry.
Inspiteofyourself,youwatchher;andinspiteofyourselfyoukeeponthinkingofher.Whoisshe?Whencedoesshecome?Whereisshegoing?
Inspiteofyourselfyouspinalittleromancearoundher.Sheispretty;sheseemscharming!HappyhewhoLifemightbedelightfulwithher.Whoknows?Sheisperhapsthewomanofourdreams,theonesuitedtoourdisposition,theoneforwhomourheartcalls.
Andhowdeliciouseventhedisappointmentatseeinghergetoutatthegateofacountryhouse!Amanstandsthere,whoisawaitingher,withtwochildrenandtwomaids.Hetakesherinhisarmsandkissesasheliftsherout.Thenshestoopsoverthelittleones,whoholduptheirhandstoher;shekissesthemtenderly;andthentheyallgoawaytogether,downapath,whilethemaidscatchthepackageswhichthedriverthrowsdowntothemfromthecoach.
Adieu!Itisallover.Youneverwillseeheragain!Adieutotheyoungwomanwhohaspassedthenightbyyourside.Youknowhernomore,youhavenotspokentoher;allthesame,youfeelalittlesadtoseehergo.Adieu!
Ihavehadmanyofthesesouvenirsoftravel,somejoyousandsomesad.
OnceIwasinAuvergne,trampingthroughthosedelightfulFrenchmountains,thatarenottoohigh,nottoosteep,butfriendlyandfamiliar.IhadclimbedtheSancy,andenteredalittleinn,nearapilgrim’schapelcalledNotre—DamedeVassiviere,whenIsawaqueer,ridiculous—lookingoldwomanbreakfastingaloneattheendtable.
Shewasatleastseventyyearsold,tall,skinny,andangular,andherwhitehairwaspuffedaroundhertemplesintheold—fashionedstyle.
ShewasdressedlikeatravelingEnglishwoman,inawkward,queerclothing,likeapersonwhoisindifferenttodress.Shewaseatinganomeletanddrinkingwater.
Herfacewaspeculiar,withrestlesseyesandtheexpressionofonewithwhomfatehasdealtunkindly.Iwatchedher,inspiteofmyself,thinking:"Whoisshe?Whatisthelifeofthiswoman?Whyisshewanderingalonethroughthesemountains?"
Shepaidandrosetoleave,drawingupoverhershouldersanastonishinglittleshawl,thetwoendsofwhichhungoverherarms.Fromacorneroftheroomshetookanalpenstock,whichwascoveredwithnamestracedwithahotiron;thenshewentout,straight,erect,withthelongstepsofaletter—carrierwhoissettingoutonhisroute.
Aguidewaswaitingforheratthedoor,andbothwentaway.Iwatchedthemgodownthevalley,alongtheroadmarkedbyalineofhighwoodencrosses.Shewastallerthanhercompanion,andseemedtowalkfasterthanhe.
TwohourslaterIwasclimbingtheedgeofthedeepfunnelthatinclosesLakePavininamarvelousandenormousbasinofverdure,fulloftrees,bushes,rocks,andflowers.Thislakeissoroundthatitseemsasiftheoutlinehadbeendrawnwithapairofcompasses,soclearandbluethatonemightdeemitafloodofazurecomedownfromthesky,socharmingthatonewouldliketoliveinabutonthewoodedslopewhichdominatesthiscrater,wherethecold,stillwaterissleeping.
TheEnglishwomanwasstandingtherelikeastatue,gazinguponthetransparentsheetdowninthedeadvolcano.Shewasstraininghereyestopenetratebelowthesurfacedowntotheunknowndepths,wheremonstroustroutwhichhavedevouredalltheotherfisharesaidtolive.
AsIwaspassingclosebyher,itseemedtomethattwobigtearswerebrimminghereyes.Butshedepartedatagreatpace,torejoinherguide,whohadstayedbehindinaninnatthefootofthepathleadingtothelake.
Ididnotseeheragainthatday.
Thenextday,atnightfall,IcametothechateauofMurol.Theoldfortress,anenormoustowerstandingonapeakinthemidstofalargevalley,wherethreevalleysintersect,rearsitsbrown,uneven,crackedsurfaceintothesky;itisround,fromitslargecircularbasetothecrumblingturretsonitspinnacles.
Itastonishestheeyemorethananyotherruinbyitssimplemass,itsmajesty,itsgraveandimposingairofantiquity.Itstandsthere,alone,highasamountain,adeadqueen,butstillthequeenofthevalleysstretchedoutbeneathit.Yougoupbyaslopeplantedwithfirs,thenyouenteranarrowgate,andstopatthefootofthewalls,inthefirstinclosure,infullviewoftheentirecountry.