首页 >出版文学> Initials Only>第45章

第45章

  Orlandostoodamoment,thenmovedtowardsthedoor。TheheavinessofhisstepsmoteuponOswald’searandcausedhimtoexclaim:”Forgiveme,Orlando。”Buttheothercuthimshortwithanimperative:”Thanksforyourcandour!Ifherspiritisdestinedtostandlikeanimmovableshadowbetweenyouandme,youdorighttowarnme。
  Butthisinterviewmustendallallusiontothesubject。Iwillseekandfindanothermantosharemyfortunes;ashesaidthisheapproachedsuddenly,andtookhispapersfromtheother’shand
  or-”Herehehastilyretracedhisstepstothedoorwhichhesoftlyopened。”Or”herepeated-ButthoughOswaldlistenedfortherest,itdidnotcome。Whilehewaited,theotherhadgivenhimonedeeplyconcentratedlookandpassedout。
  Noheartfeltunderstandingwaspossiblebetweenthesetwomen。
  Crossingthehall,OrlandoknockedatthedoorofDoris’littlesitting-room。
  Noanswer,yetshewasthere。Heknewitineverythrobbingfibreofhisbody。Shewasthereandquiteawareofhispresence;ofthishefeltsure;yetshedidnotbidhimenter。Shouldheknockagain?Never!buthewouldnotquitthethreshold,notifshekepthimwaitingthereforhours。Perhapssherealisedthis。
  Perhapsshehadmeanttoopenthedoortohimfromtheveryfirst,whocantell?Whatavailsisthatshedidultimatelyopenit,andhe,meetinghersofteye,wishedfromhisveryheartthathisimpulsehadledhimanotherway,evenifthatwayhadbeentotheedgeoftheprecipice-andover。
  Forthefacehelookeduponwasserene,andtherewasnoserenityinhim;ratheraconfusionofunloosedpassionsfearfulofbarrierandyearningtumultuouslyforfreedom。But,whateverhisrevolt,thesecretrevoltwhichmakesnoshowinlookormovement,hekepthisgroundandforcedasmileofgreeting。Ifherfacewasquiet,itwasalsolovely;-toolovely,hefelt,foramantoleaveit,whatevermightcomeofhislingering。
  Nothinginallhislifehadeveraffectedhimlikeit。Forhimtherewasnootherwomaninthepast,thepresentorthefuture,and,realisingthis-takingintothefullwhatheraffectionandhertrustmightbetohiminthosefearsomedaystocome,hesodreadedarebuff-he,whohadbeenthecourtedofwomenandtheadmiredofmeneversincehecouldremember,-thathefailedtorespondtoherwelcomeandthesimplecongratulationsshefeltforcedtorepeat。Hecouldneitherspeakthecommonplace,norlistentoit。Thiswashiscrucialhour。Hemustfindsupporthere,oryieldhopelesslytothemaelstrominwhosewhirlhewascaught。
  Shesawhisexcitementandfalteredbackastep-amovewhichsheregrettedthenextminute,forhetookadvantageofittoenterandclosebehindhimthedoorwhichshewouldneverhaveshutofherownaccord。Thenhespoke,abruptly,passionately,butinthosegoldentoneswhichnoemotioncouldrenderotherthanalluring:”Iamanunhappyman,MissScott。Iseethatmypresencehereisnotwelcome,yetamsurethatitwouldbesoifitwerenotforaprejudicewhichyourgenerousnatureshouldbethefirsttocastaside,infaceoftheoutspokenconfidenceofmybrother:Oswald。
  Doris,littleDoris,Iloveyou。Ihavelovedyoufromthemomentofourfirstmeeting。Nottomanymenisitgiventofindhisheartsolate,andwhenhedoes,itisforhiswholelife;nosecondpassioncanfollowit。IknowthatIamprematureinsayingthis;thatyouarenotpreparedtohearsuchwordsfrommeandthatitmightbewiserformetowithholdthem,butImustleaveDerbysoon,andIcannotgountilIknowwhetherthereistheleasthopethatyouwillyetlendalighttomycareerorwhetherthatcareermustburnitselftoashesatyourfeet。Oswald-nay,hearmeout-Oswaldlivesinhismemories;butImusthaveanactivehope-atangibleexpectation-ifIamtobethemanIwasmeanttobe。
  Willyou,then,coldlydismissme,orwillyouletmywholefuturelifeprovetoyoutheinnocenceofmypast?Iwillnothastenanything;allIaskissomeindulgence。Timewilldotherest。””Impossible,”shemurmured。
  Butthatwasawordforwhichhehadnoear。Hesawthatshewasmoved,unexpectedlyso;thatwhilehereyeswanderedrestlesslyattimestowardsthedoor,theyevercamebackingirlishwonder,ifnotfascination,tohisface,emboldeninghimsothatheventuredatlast,toadd:”Doris,littleDoris,Iwillteachyouamarvellouslesson,ifyouwillonlyturnyourdaintyearmyway。Lovesuchasminecarriesinfinitetreasurewithit。Willyouhavethattreasureheaped,piledbeforeyourfeet?Yourlipssayno,butyoureyes-thetruesteyesIeversaw-whisperadifferentlanguage。Thedaywillcomewhenyouwillfindyourjoyinthebreastofhimyouarenowafraidtotrust。”Andnotwaitingfordisclaimerorevenaglanceofreproachfromtheeyeshehadsowilfullymisread,hewithdrewwithamovementasabruptasthatwithwhichhehadentered。
  Why,then,withthememoryofthisexultanthourtofendoffallshadows,didthemidnightfindhiminhissolitaryhangarinthemoonlitwoods,adeeplydespondingfigureagain。Besidehim,swungthehugemachinewhichrepresentedalifeofpowerandluxury;buthenolongersawit。Itcalledtohimwithmanyacreakandquietsnap,-soundstostarthisbloodandfirehiseyeaweek-nay,adayago。Buthewasdeaftothismusicnow;thecallwentunheeded;
  thefuturehadnofurthermeaning,forhim,nordidheknoworthinkwhetherhesatinlightorindarkness;whetherthewoodsweresilentabouthim,orpantingwithlifeandsound。Hisdemonhadgrippedhimagainandthefinalbattlewason。Therewouldneverbeanother。Mightyashefelthimselftobe,therewerelimitseventohiscapacityforendurance。Hecouldsustainnofurtherconflict。Howthenwoulditend?Heneverhadadoubthimself!Yethesatthere。
  Aroundhimintheforest,thenightowlsscreechedandinnumerablesmallthingswithoutaname,skurriedfromlairtolair。
  Heheardthemnot。
  Above,themoonrode,fleckingthedeepestshadowswiththesilverfromherhalf-turnedurn,butnoneofthesoftandhealingdropsfelluponhim。Naturewasnolongeragoddess,butanavenger;
  lightarevealer,notasolace。Darknesstheonlyboon。
  Norhadtimeameaning。Fromearlyevetoearlymornhesatthereandknewnotifitwereonehourortwelve。Earthwashisnolonger。
  Heroused,whenthesunmadeeverythinglightabouthim,buthedidnotthinkaboutit。Herose,butwasnotconsciousthatherose。
  Heunlockedthedoorandsteppedoutintotheforest;buthecouldneverrememberdoingthis。Heonlyknewlaterthathehadbeeninthewoodsandnowwasinhisroomatthehotel;alltherestwasphantasmagoria,agonyanddefeat。
  HehadcrossedtheRubiconofthisworld’shopesandfears,buthehadbeenunconsciousofthepassage。
  THEAVENGER”DearMr。Challoner:”Witheveryapologyfortheintrusion,mayIrequestafewminutesofprivateconversationwithyouthiseveningatseveno’clock?Letitbeinyourownroom。”Yourstruly,”ORLANDOBROTHERSON。”
  Mr。Challonerhadbeencalledupontofacemanydifficultandheartrendingdutiessincetheblowwhichhaddesolatedhishomefelluponhim。
  Butfromnoneofthemhadheshrunkashedidfromtheinterviewthusdemanded。Hehadsupposedhimselfridofthisman。HehaddismissedhimfromhislifewhenhehaddismissedSweetwater。Hisface,accordingly,woreanythingbutapropitiatorylook,whenpromptlyatthehourofseven,OrlandoBrothersonenteredhisapartments。
  Hispleasureorhisdispleasurewas,however,amatterofsmallconsequencetohisself-invitedvisitor。Hehadcometherewithasetpurpose,andnothinginheavenorearthcoulddeterhimfromitnow。Decliningtheofferofaseat,withtheslightestofacknowledgmentsinthewayofabow,hetookacarefulsurveyoftheroombeforesaying:”Arewealone,Mr。Challoner,oristhatmanSweetwaterlurkingsomewherewithinhearing?””Mr。Sweetwaterisgone,asIhadthehonouroftellingyouyesterday,”wasthesomewhatstiffreply。”Therearenowitnessestothisconference,ifthatiswhatyouwishtoknow。”Thankyou,butyouwillpardonmyinsistenceifIrequesttheprivilegeofclosingthatdoor。”Hepointedtotheonecommunicatingwiththebedroom。”TheinformationIhavetogiveyouisnotsuchasIamwillingtohaveshared,atleastforthepresent。””Youmayclosethedoor,”saidMr。Challonercoldly。”Butisitnecessaryforyoutogivemetheinformationyoumention,to-night?
  Ifitisofsuchanaturethatyoucannotaccordmetheprivilegeofsharingit,asyet,withothers,whynotsparemetillyoucan?I
  havegonethroughmuch,Mr。Brotherson。””Youhave,”cameinsteadyassentasthemanthusaddressedsteppedtothedoorhehadindicatedandquietlyclosedit。”But,”hecontinued,ashecrossedbacktohisformerposition,”woulditbeeasierforyoutogothroughthenightnowinanticipationofwhatIhavetorevealthantohearitatoncefrommylipswhileIaminthemoodtospeak?”
  Theanswerwasslowincoming。Thecouragewhichhadupheldthisrapidlyagingmanthroughsomanytryinginterviews,seemedinadequateforthetestputsocruellyuponit。Hefalteredandsankheavilyintoachair,whilethesternmanwatchinghim,gavenosignsofresponsivesympathyoreveninterest,onlyapatientandicy-temperedresolve。”Icannotliveinuncertainty;”suchwerefinallyMr。Challoner’swords。”WhatyouhavetosayconcernsEdith?”Thepausehemadewasinfinitesimalinlength,butitwaslongenoughforaquickdisclaimer。Butnosuchdisclaimercame。”Iwillhearit,”cameinreluctantfinish。
  Mr。Brothersontookastepforward。Hismannerwasascoldastheheartwhichlaylikeastoneinhisbosom。”WillyoupardonmeifIaskyoutorise?”saidhe。”Ihavemyweaknessestoo。Hegavenosignofthem。”IcannotspeakdownfromsuchaheighttothemanIamboundtohurt。”
  Asifansweringtotheconstraintofawillquiteoutsidehisown,Mr。Challonerrose。TheirheadswerenowmorenearlyonalevelandMr。Brotherson’svoiceremainedlow,asheproceeded,withquietintensity”Therehasbeenatime-anditmayexistyet,Godknows-whenyouthoughtmeinsomeunknownandsecretwaythemurdererofyourdaughter。Idonotquarrelwiththesuspicion;itwasjustified,Mr。
  Challoner。Ididkillyourdaughter,andwiththishand!Icannolongerdenyit。”
  Thewretchedfatherswayed,followingthegestureofthehandthusheldout;buthedidnotfall,nordidasoundleavehislips。
  Brothersonwentcoldlyon:
  IdiditbecauseIregardedhertreatmentofmysuitasinsolent。
  Ihavenomercyforanysuchdisplayofintoleranceonthepartoftherichandthefortunate。Ihatedherforit;Ihatedherclass,herselfandallshestoodfor。TostrikethedealerofsuchahurtIfelttobemyright。Thoughamanofsmallbeginningsandofastockwhichsuchasyoucallcommon,Ihaveapridewhichfewofyourbloodcanequal。Icouldnotwork,orsleeporeatwithsuchastinginmybreastasshehadplantedthere。Toridmyselfofit,Ideterminedtokillher,andIdid。How?Oh,thatwaseasy,thoughithasprovedagreatstumbling-blocktothedetectives,asI