首页 >出版文学> Jeremy>第16章

第16章

  Hercryinghorrified,terrified,anddisgustedhim。Itwasallsodreary,thehorribleweatheroutside,thebeginningofacoldinhishead,theschoolroomfirealmostout,everyone’sbadtemper,includinghisown,andthissuddenhorriblejumping-to-lifeofagrown-uphumanbeing。She,meanwhile,wastoodeeplyinvolvednowinthewatersofherafflictiontocareverydeeplywhosawherorwhatanyonesaidtoher。Shedidfeeldimlythatsheoughtnottobecryinginfrontofasmallboyofeightyearsold,andthatitwouldbebettertohideherselfinherbedroom,butshedidnotmind——sheCOULDnotmind——herneuralgiawastoobad。
  “It’stheneuralgiainmyhead,“shesaidinamuffledconfusedvoice。Thathecouldunderstand。Healsohadpainsinhishead。Hedrewclosertoher,flingingalongingbackwardlookatthedoor。
  Shewentoninconvulsedtones:
  “It’sthepain——awakeallnight,andthelessons。Ican’tmakethemattend;theylearnnothing。They’renotafraidofme——theyhateme。
  I’veneverreallyknownchildrenbefore——“
  Hedidnotknowwhattosay。HaditbeenMaryorHelentheformulawouldhavebeensimple。Hemovedhislegsrestlesslyoneagainsttheother。
  MissJoneswenton:
  “Andnow,ofcourse,Imustgo。It’squiteimpossibleformetostaywhenImanagesobadly——“ShelookedupandsuddenlyrealisedthatitwastrulyJeremy。“You’reonlyalittleboy,butyouknowverywellthatIcan’tmanageyou。AndthenwhereamItogoto?NoonewilltakemeafterI’vebeensuchafailure。“
  Thecolourstoleintohischeeks。Hewasimmenselyproud。Nogrown-
  uppersonhadeverbeforespokentohimasthoughhewashimselfagrown-upperson——alwayslaughingathimlikeUncleSamuel,ortalkingdowntohimlikeAuntAmy,ordespisinghimlikeMr。
  Jellybrand。ButMissJonesappealedtohimsimplyasonegrown-uptoanother。Unfortunatelyhedidnotintheleastknowwhattosay。Theonlythinghecouldthinkofatthemomentwas:“Youcanhavemyhandkerchief,ifyoulike。It’sprettyclean——“
  Butshewenton:“Ifmybrotherhadbeenalivehewouldhaveadvisedme。Hewasasplendidman。HerowedinhiscollegeboatwhenhewasatCambridge,butthat,ofcourse,wasfortyyearsago。Hecouldkeepchildreninorder。Ithoughtitwouldbesoeasy。Perhapsifmyhealthhadbeenbetteritwouldn’thavebeensohard。“
  “Doyourpainscomeoften?“askedJeremy。
  “Yes。They’reverybad。“
  “Ihavethem,too,“saidJeremy。“It’sgenerally,Iexpect,becauseIeattoomuch——atleast,theJampotusedtosayso。They’reinmyheadsometimes,too。AndthenI’mreallysick。Doyoufeelsick?“
  MissJonesbegantopullherselftogether。Shewipedhereyesandpattedherhair。
  “It’smyneuralgia,“shesaidagain。“It’sfrommyeyespartly,I
  expect。“
  “It’sbettertobesick,“continuedJeremy,“ifyoucanbe——“
  Sheflunghimthenadesperatelook,asthoughshewerereallyananimalatbay。
  “Yousee,Ican’tgoaway,“shesaid。“I’venowheretogoto。I’venofriends,norrelations,andnoonewilltakemefortheirchildren,ifMrs。ColesaysIcan’tkeeporder。“
  “ThenIsupposeyou’dgototheworkhouse,“continuedJeremy,pursuinghercasewithexcitedinterest。“That’swhattheJampotalwaysusedtosay,thatonedayshe’dendintheworkhouse;andthat’sahorribleplace,SHEsaid,wheretherewasnothingbutporridgetoeat,andsometimestheytookallyourclothesoffandscrubbedyourbackwiththathardyellowsoaptheywashHamletwith。“
  Hiseyesgrewwidewiththehorriblepicture。
  “Oh,MissJones,youmustn’tgothere!“
  “Wouldyoumind,“shesaid,“justgettingmesomewaterfromthejugoverthere?There’saglassthere。“
  Stillproudoftheleveltowhichhehadbeenraised,butpuzzledbeyondanywordsastothisnewrealisationofMissJones,hefetchedherthewater,then,standingquiteclosetoher,hesaid:
  “Youmuststaywithus,always。“
  Shelookedupathim,andtheyexchangedaglance。
  WiththatglanceMissJoneslearntmoreaboutchildrenthanshehadeverlearntbefore——more,indeed,thanmostpeoplelearninalltheirmortallives。
  “Ican’tstay,“shesaid,andsheevensmiledalittle,“ifyou’realwaysnaughty。“
  “Wewon’tbenaughtyanymore。“Hesighed。“Itwasgreatfun,ofcourse,butwewon’tdoitanymore。Weneverknewyouminded。“
  “NeverknewIminded?“
  “Atleast,weneverthoughtaboutyouatall。Helendidsometimes。
  Shesaidyouhadaheadachewhenyouwereveryyellowinthemorning,butIsaiditwasonlybecauseyouwereold。Butwe’llbegoodnow。I’lltellthemtoo——“
  Thenheadded:“Butyouwon’tgoawaynowevenifwe’renotalwaysgood?Wewon’talwaysbe,Isuppose;andI’mgoingtoschoolinSeptember,anditwillbebetterthen,Iexpect。I’mtooold,really,tolearnwithgirlsnow。“
  Shewantedterriblytokisshim,and,hadshedoneso,thewholegoodworkofthelastquarterofanhourwouldhavebeenundone。Hewasawareofhertemptation;hefeltitintheair。Shesawthewarninginhiseyes。Themomentpassed。
  “Youwon’tgoaway,willyou?“hesaidagain。
  “Notifyou’regood,“shesaid。
  IV
  Halfanhourlater,whenMaryandHelenreturnedfromtheirwalk,theywereaddressedbyJeremy。
  “Shewascryingbecausewe’dbeensonaughty,andshehadpainsinherhead,andherbrotherwasdead。Herbrotherwasverystrong,andheusedtorowinaboatfortyyearsago。Shetoldmeallaboutit,justasthoughI’dbeenAuntAmyorMother。Andshesaysthatifwegoonbeingnaughtyshe’llgoaway,andnooneelsewillhaveher,becausethey’llhearaboutourhavingbeennaughty。AndItoldherabouttheworkhouseandtheporridgeandtheyellowsoapthattheJampottoldusof,anditwouldbeawfulifshewenttherebecauseofus,wouldn’tit?“
  “Awful,“saidMary。
  ButHelensaid:“Shewouldn’tgothere。She’dtakealittlehouse,likeMissDobell,andhavetea-partiesonThursdays——somewhereneartheCathedral。“
  “No,shewouldn’t!“saidJeremyexcitedly。“Howcouldshetakealittlehouseifshehadn’tanymoney?Shetoldmeshehadn’t,andnofriends,nornobody,andshecriedlikeanything——“Hepausedforbreath,thenconcluded:“Sowe’vegottobegoodnow,andlearnsums,andnotmakeherjump。Reallyandtruly,wemust。“
  “Ialwaysthoughtyouwereverysillytomakesomuchnoise,“saidHeleninasuperiorfashion。“YouandMary——babies!“
  “We’renotbabies,“shoutedJeremy。
  “Yes,youare。“
  “No,we’renot。“
  MissJoneswasnolongerthesubjectoftheconversation。
  ThatsamedayithappenedthatrumourswerebroughttoMrs。ColethroughRose,thehousemaid,orsomeothermediumforthefirsttime,ofMissJones’sincapacity。
  ThateveningJeremywasspendinghislasthalf-hourbeforebedtimeinhismother’sroomhappilyinacornerwithhistoyvillage。HesuddenlyheardhismothersaytoAuntAmy:
  “I’mafraidMissJoneswon’tdo。Ithoughtshewasmanagingthechildren,butnowIhearthatshecan’tkeeporderatall。I’msorry——it’ssodifficulttogetanyone。“
  Jeremysprangupfromthefloor,startlingtheladies,whohadforgottenthathewasthere。
  “She’sallright,“hecried。“Reallysheis,Mother。We’regoingtobeasgoodasanything,reallyweare。Youwon’tsendheraway,willyou??
  “MydearJeremy,“hismothersaid,“I’dforgottenyouwerethere。
  Rosesaysyoudon’tdoanythingMissJonestellsyou。“
  “Roseissilly,“heanswered。“Shedoesn’tknowanythingaboutit。
  Butyouwillkeepher,won’tyou,Mother?“
  “Idon’tknow——ifshecan’tmanageyou——“
  “Butshecanmanageus。We’llbegoodasanything,Ipromise。Youwillkeepher,won’tyou,Mother?“
  “Really,Jeremy,“saidAuntAmy,“tobotheryourmotherso!Andit’snearlytimeyouwenttobed。“
  Hebrushedheraside。“Youwillkeepher,Mother,won’tyou?“
  “Itdepends,dear,“saidMrs。Cole,laughing。“Yousee——“
  “No——we’llbebadwitheveryoneelse,“hecried。“Wewill,really——
  everyoneelse。Andwe’llbegoodwithMissJones。“
  “Well,solongasyou’regood,dear,“shesaid。“I’dnoideayoulikedhersomuch。“