Hercryinghorrified,terrified,anddisgustedhim。Itwasallsodreary,thehorribleweatheroutside,thebeginningofacoldinhishead,theschoolroomfirealmostout,everyone’sbadtemper,includinghisown,andthissuddenhorriblejumping-to-lifeofagrown-uphumanbeing。She,meanwhile,wastoodeeplyinvolvednowinthewatersofherafflictiontocareverydeeplywhosawherorwhatanyonesaidtoher。Shedidfeeldimlythatsheoughtnottobecryinginfrontofasmallboyofeightyearsold,andthatitwouldbebettertohideherselfinherbedroom,butshedidnotmind——sheCOULDnotmind——herneuralgiawastoobad。
“It’stheneuralgiainmyhead,“shesaidinamuffledconfusedvoice。Thathecouldunderstand。Healsohadpainsinhishead。Hedrewclosertoher,flingingalongingbackwardlookatthedoor。
Shewentoninconvulsedtones:
“It’sthepain——awakeallnight,andthelessons。Ican’tmakethemattend;theylearnnothing。They’renotafraidofme——theyhateme。
I’veneverreallyknownchildrenbefore——“
Hedidnotknowwhattosay。HaditbeenMaryorHelentheformulawouldhavebeensimple。Hemovedhislegsrestlesslyoneagainsttheother。
MissJoneswenton:
“Andnow,ofcourse,Imustgo。It’squiteimpossibleformetostaywhenImanagesobadly——“ShelookedupandsuddenlyrealisedthatitwastrulyJeremy。“You’reonlyalittleboy,butyouknowverywellthatIcan’tmanageyou。AndthenwhereamItogoto?NoonewilltakemeafterI’vebeensuchafailure。“
Thecolourstoleintohischeeks。Hewasimmenselyproud。Nogrown-
uppersonhadeverbeforespokentohimasthoughhewashimselfagrown-upperson——alwayslaughingathimlikeUncleSamuel,ortalkingdowntohimlikeAuntAmy,ordespisinghimlikeMr。
Jellybrand。ButMissJonesappealedtohimsimplyasonegrown-uptoanother。Unfortunatelyhedidnotintheleastknowwhattosay。Theonlythinghecouldthinkofatthemomentwas:“Youcanhavemyhandkerchief,ifyoulike。It’sprettyclean——“
Butshewenton:“Ifmybrotherhadbeenalivehewouldhaveadvisedme。Hewasasplendidman。HerowedinhiscollegeboatwhenhewasatCambridge,butthat,ofcourse,wasfortyyearsago。Hecouldkeepchildreninorder。Ithoughtitwouldbesoeasy。Perhapsifmyhealthhadbeenbetteritwouldn’thavebeensohard。“
“Doyourpainscomeoften?“askedJeremy。
“Yes。They’reverybad。“
“Ihavethem,too,“saidJeremy。“It’sgenerally,Iexpect,becauseIeattoomuch——atleast,theJampotusedtosayso。They’reinmyheadsometimes,too。AndthenI’mreallysick。Doyoufeelsick?“
MissJonesbegantopullherselftogether。Shewipedhereyesandpattedherhair。
“It’smyneuralgia,“shesaidagain。“It’sfrommyeyespartly,I
expect。“
“It’sbettertobesick,“continuedJeremy,“ifyoucanbe——“
Sheflunghimthenadesperatelook,asthoughshewerereallyananimalatbay。
“Yousee,Ican’tgoaway,“shesaid。“I’venowheretogoto。I’venofriends,norrelations,andnoonewilltakemefortheirchildren,ifMrs。ColesaysIcan’tkeeporder。“
“ThenIsupposeyou’dgototheworkhouse,“continuedJeremy,pursuinghercasewithexcitedinterest。“That’swhattheJampotalwaysusedtosay,thatonedayshe’dendintheworkhouse;andthat’sahorribleplace,SHEsaid,wheretherewasnothingbutporridgetoeat,andsometimestheytookallyourclothesoffandscrubbedyourbackwiththathardyellowsoaptheywashHamletwith。“
Hiseyesgrewwidewiththehorriblepicture。
“Oh,MissJones,youmustn’tgothere!“
“Wouldyoumind,“shesaid,“justgettingmesomewaterfromthejugoverthere?There’saglassthere。“
Stillproudoftheleveltowhichhehadbeenraised,butpuzzledbeyondanywordsastothisnewrealisationofMissJones,hefetchedherthewater,then,standingquiteclosetoher,hesaid:
“Youmuststaywithus,always。“
Shelookedupathim,andtheyexchangedaglance。
WiththatglanceMissJoneslearntmoreaboutchildrenthanshehadeverlearntbefore——more,indeed,thanmostpeoplelearninalltheirmortallives。
“Ican’tstay,“shesaid,andsheevensmiledalittle,“ifyou’realwaysnaughty。“
“Wewon’tbenaughtyanymore。“Hesighed。“Itwasgreatfun,ofcourse,butwewon’tdoitanymore。Weneverknewyouminded。“
“NeverknewIminded?“
“Atleast,weneverthoughtaboutyouatall。Helendidsometimes。
Shesaidyouhadaheadachewhenyouwereveryyellowinthemorning,butIsaiditwasonlybecauseyouwereold。Butwe’llbegoodnow。I’lltellthemtoo——“
Thenheadded:“Butyouwon’tgoawaynowevenifwe’renotalwaysgood?Wewon’talwaysbe,Isuppose;andI’mgoingtoschoolinSeptember,anditwillbebetterthen,Iexpect。I’mtooold,really,tolearnwithgirlsnow。“
Shewantedterriblytokisshim,and,hadshedoneso,thewholegoodworkofthelastquarterofanhourwouldhavebeenundone。Hewasawareofhertemptation;hefeltitintheair。Shesawthewarninginhiseyes。Themomentpassed。
“Youwon’tgoaway,willyou?“hesaidagain。
“Notifyou’regood,“shesaid。
IV
Halfanhourlater,whenMaryandHelenreturnedfromtheirwalk,theywereaddressedbyJeremy。
“Shewascryingbecausewe’dbeensonaughty,andshehadpainsinherhead,andherbrotherwasdead。Herbrotherwasverystrong,andheusedtorowinaboatfortyyearsago。Shetoldmeallaboutit,justasthoughI’dbeenAuntAmyorMother。Andshesaysthatifwegoonbeingnaughtyshe’llgoaway,andnooneelsewillhaveher,becausethey’llhearaboutourhavingbeennaughty。AndItoldherabouttheworkhouseandtheporridgeandtheyellowsoapthattheJampottoldusof,anditwouldbeawfulifshewenttherebecauseofus,wouldn’tit?“
“Awful,“saidMary。
ButHelensaid:“Shewouldn’tgothere。She’dtakealittlehouse,likeMissDobell,andhavetea-partiesonThursdays——somewhereneartheCathedral。“
“No,shewouldn’t!“saidJeremyexcitedly。“Howcouldshetakealittlehouseifshehadn’tanymoney?Shetoldmeshehadn’t,andnofriends,nornobody,andshecriedlikeanything——“Hepausedforbreath,thenconcluded:“Sowe’vegottobegoodnow,andlearnsums,andnotmakeherjump。Reallyandtruly,wemust。“
“Ialwaysthoughtyouwereverysillytomakesomuchnoise,“saidHeleninasuperiorfashion。“YouandMary——babies!“
“We’renotbabies,“shoutedJeremy。
“Yes,youare。“
“No,we’renot。“
MissJoneswasnolongerthesubjectoftheconversation。
ThatsamedayithappenedthatrumourswerebroughttoMrs。ColethroughRose,thehousemaid,orsomeothermediumforthefirsttime,ofMissJones’sincapacity。
ThateveningJeremywasspendinghislasthalf-hourbeforebedtimeinhismother’sroomhappilyinacornerwithhistoyvillage。HesuddenlyheardhismothersaytoAuntAmy:
“I’mafraidMissJoneswon’tdo。Ithoughtshewasmanagingthechildren,butnowIhearthatshecan’tkeeporderatall。I’msorry——it’ssodifficulttogetanyone。“
Jeremysprangupfromthefloor,startlingtheladies,whohadforgottenthathewasthere。
“She’sallright,“hecried。“Reallysheis,Mother。We’regoingtobeasgoodasanything,reallyweare。Youwon’tsendheraway,willyou??
“MydearJeremy,“hismothersaid,“I’dforgottenyouwerethere。
Rosesaysyoudon’tdoanythingMissJonestellsyou。“
“Roseissilly,“heanswered。“Shedoesn’tknowanythingaboutit。
Butyouwillkeepher,won’tyou,Mother?“
“Idon’tknow——ifshecan’tmanageyou——“
“Butshecanmanageus。We’llbegoodasanything,Ipromise。Youwillkeepher,won’tyou,Mother?“
“Really,Jeremy,“saidAuntAmy,“tobotheryourmotherso!Andit’snearlytimeyouwenttobed。“
Hebrushedheraside。“Youwillkeepher,Mother,won’tyou?“
“Itdepends,dear,“saidMrs。Cole,laughing。“Yousee——“
“No——we’llbebadwitheveryoneelse,“hecried。“Wewill,really——
everyoneelse。Andwe’llbegoodwithMissJones。“
“Well,solongasyou’regood,dear,“shesaid。“I’dnoideayoulikedhersomuch。“
第16章