首页 >出版文学> Little Women>第50章

第50章

  Thisisn’tlikeBeth,anditworriesme。“
  “Haveyouaskedheraboutit?’
  “Ihavetriedonceortwice,butsheeitherevadedmyquestionsorlookedsodistressedthatIstopped。Ineverforcemychildren’sconfidence,andIseldomhavetowaitforlong。“
  Mrs。MarchglancedatJoasshespoke,butthefaceoppositeseemedquiteunconsciousofanysecretdisquietudebutBeth’s,andaftersewingthoughtfullyforaminute,Josaid,“Ithinksheisgrowingup,andsobeginstodreamdreams,andhavehopesandfearsandfidgets,withoutknowingwhyorbeingabletoexplainthem。Why,Mother,Beth’seighteen,butwedon’trealizeit,andtreatherlikeachild,forgettingshe’sawoman。“
  “Sosheis。Dearheart,howfastyoudogrowup,“returnedhermotherwithasighandasmile。
  “Can’tbehelped,Marmee,soyoumustresignyourselftoallsortsofworries,andletyourbirdshopoutofthenest,onebyone。Ipromisenevertohopveryfar,ifthatisanycomforttoyou。“
  “It’sagreatcomfort,Jo。Ialwaysfeelstrongwhenyouareathome,nowMegisgone。BethistoofeebleandAmytooyoungtodependupon,butwhenthetugcomes,youarealwaysready。“
  “Why,youknowIdon’tmindhardjobsmuch,andtheremustalwaysbeonescrubinafamily。AmyissplendidinfineworksandI’mnot,butIfeelinmyelementwhenallthecarpetsaretobetakenup,orhalfthefamilyfallsickatonce。
  Amyisdistinguishingherselfabroad,butifanythingisamissathome,I’myourman。“
  “IleaveBethtoyourhands,then,forshewillopenhertenderlittlehearttoherJosoonerthantoanyoneelse。Beverykind,anddon’tletherthinkanyonewatchesortalksabout;her。Ifsheonlywouldgetquitestrongandcheerfulagain,Ishouldn’thaveawishintheworld。“
  “Happywoman!I’vegotheaps。“
  “Mydear,whatarethey?“
  “I’llsettleBethy’stroubles,andthenI’lltellyoumine。
  Theyarenotverywearing,sothey’llkeep。“AndJostitchedaway,withawisenodwhichsethermother’sheartatrestaboutherforthepresentatleast。
  Whileapparentlyabsorbedinherownaffairs,JowatchedBeth,andaftermanyconflictingconjectures,finallysettledupononewhichseemedtoexplainthechangeinher。AslightincidentgaveJothecluetothemystery,shethought,andlivelyfancy,lovingheartdidtherest。ShewasaffectingtowritebusilyoneSaturdayafternoon,whensheandBethwerealonetogether。Yetasshescribbled,shekepthereyeonhersister,whoseemedunusuallyquiet。Sittingatthewindow,Beth’sworkoftendroppedintoherlap,andsheleanedherheaduponherhand,inadejectedattitude,whilehereyesrestedonthedull,autumnallandscape。Suddenlysomeonepassedbelow,whistlinglikeanoperaticblackbird,andavoicecalledout,“Allserene!
  Comingintonight。“
  Bethstarted,leanedforward,smiledandnodded,watchedthepasser-bytillhisquicktrampdiedaway,thensaidsoftlyasiftoherself,“Howstrongandwellandhappythatdearboylooks。“
  “Hum!“saidJo,stillintentuponhersister’sface,forthebrightcolorfadedasquicklyasitcame,thesmilevanished,andpresentlyatearlayshiningonthewindowledge。Bethwhiskeditoff,andinherhalf-avertedfacereadatendersorrowthatmadeherowneyesfill。Fearingtobetrayherself,sheslippedaway,murmuringsomethingaboutneedingmorepaper。
  “Mercyonme,BethlovesLaurie!“shesaid,sittingdowninherownroom,palewiththeshockofthediscoverywhichshebelievedshehadjustmade。“Ineverdreamedofsuchathing。
  WhatwillMothersay?Iwonderifher……“thereJostoppedandturnedscarletwithasuddenthought。“Ifheshouldn’tlovebackagain,howdreadfulitwouldbe。Hemust。I’llmakehim!“
  Andsheshookherheadthreateninglyatthepictureofthemischievous-
  lookingboylaughingatherfromthewall。“Ohdear,wearegrowingupwithavengeance。Here’sMegmarriedandamamma,AmyflourishingawayatParis,andBethinlove。I’mtheonlyonethathassenseenoughtokeepoutofmischief。“Jothoughtintentlyforaminutewithhereyesfixedonthepicture,thenshesmoothedoutherwrinkledforeheadandsaid,withadecidednodatthefaceopposite,“Nothankyou,sir,you’reverycharming,butyou’venomorestabilitythanaweathercock。Soyouneedn’twritetouchingnotesandsmileinthatinsinuatingway,foritwon’tdoabitofgood,andIwon’thaveit。“
  Thenshesighed,andfellintoareveriefromwhichshedidnotwaketilltheearlytwilightsentherdowntotakenewobservations,whichonlyconfirmedhersuspicion。ThoughLaurieflirtedwithAmyandjokedwithJo,hismannertoBethhadalwaysbeenpeculiarlykindandgentle,butsowaseverybody’s。
  Therefore,noonethoughtofimaginingthathecaredmoreforherthanfortheothers。Indeed,ageneralimpressionhadprevailedinthefamilyoflatethat`ourboy’wasgettingfonderthaneverofJo,who,however,wouldn’thearaworduponthesubjectandscoldedviolentlyifanyonedaredtosuggestit。
  Iftheyhadknownthevarioustenderpassageswhichhadbeennippedinthebud,theywouldhavehadtheimmensesatisfactionofsaying,“Itoldyouso。“ButJohated`philandering’,andwouldn’tallowit,alwayshavingajokeorasmilereadyattheleastsignofimpendingdanger。
  WhenLauriefirstwenttocollege,hefellinloveaboutonceamonth,butthesesmallflameswereasbriefasardent,didnodamage,andmuchamusedJo,whotookgreatinterestinthealternationsofhop,despair,andresignation,whichwereconfidedtoherintheirweeklyconferences。ButtherecameatimewhenLaurieceasedtoworshipatmanyshrines,hinteddarklyatoneall-absorbingpassion,andindulgedoccasionallyinByronicfitsofgloom。Thenheavoidedthetendersubjectaltogether,wrotephilosophicalnotestoJo,turnedstudious,andgaveoutthathewasgoingto`dig’,intendingtograduateinablazeofglory。Thissuitedtheyoungladybetterthantwilightconfidences,tenderpressuresofthehand,andeloquentglancesoftheeye,forwithJo,braindevelopedearlierthanheart,andshepreferredimaginaryheroestorealones,becausewhentiredofthem,theformercouldbeshutupinthetinkitchentillcalledfor,andthelatterwerelessmanageable。
  Thingswereinthisstatewhenthegranddiscoverywasmade,andJowatchedLauriethatnightasshehadneverdonebefore。Ifshehadnotgotthenewideaintoherhead,shewouldhaveseennothingunusualinthefactthatBethwasveryquiet,andLaurieverykindtoher。Buthavinggiventhereintoherlivelyfancy,itgallopedawaywithheratagreatpace,andcommonsense,beingratherweakenedbyalongcourseorromancewriting,didnotcometotherescue。AsusualBethlayonthesofaandLauriesatinalowchaircloseby,amusingherwithallsortsofgossip,forshedependedonherweekly`spin’,andheneverdisappointedher。ButthateveningJofanciedthatBeth’seyesrestedonthelively,darkfacebesideherwithpeculiarpleasure,andthatshelistenedwithintenseinteresttoanaccountofsomeexcitingcricketmatch,thoughthephrases,`caughtoffatice’,`stumpedoffhisground’’,and`theleghitforthree’,wereasintelligibletoherasSanskrit。Shealsofancied,havingsetherheartuponseeingit,thatshesawacertainincreaseofgentlenessinLaurie’smanner,thathedroppedhisvoicenowandthen,laughedlessthanusual,wasalittleabsent——minded,andsettledtheafghanoverBeth’sfeetwithanassiduitythatwasreallyalmosttender。
  “Whoknows?Strangerthingshavehappened,“thoughtJo,asshefussedabouttheroom。“Shewillmakequiteanangelofhim,andhewillmakelifedelightfullyeasyandpleasantforthedear,iftheyonlyloveeachother。Idon’tseehowhecanhelpit,andIdobelievehewouldiftherestofuswereoutoftheway。“
  Aseveryonewasoutofthewaybutherself,Jobegantofeelthatsheoughttodisposeofherselfwithallspeed。Butwhereshouldshego?Andburningtolayherselfupontheshrineofsisterlydevotion,shesatdowntosettlethatpoint。
  Now,theoldsofawasaregularpatriarchofasofa——long,broad,well-cushioned,andlow,atrifleshabby,aswellitmightbe,forthegirlshadsleptandsprawledonitasbabies,fishedovertheback,rodeonthearms,andhadmenageriesunderitaschildren,andrestedtiredheads,dreameddreams,andlistenedtotendertalkonitasyoungwomen。Theyalllovedit,foritwasafamilyrefuge,andonecornerhadalwaysbeenJo’sfavoriteloungingplace。Amongthemanypillowsthatadornedthevenerablecouchwasone,hard,round,coveredwithpricklyhorsehair,andfurnishedwithaknobbybuttonateachend。Thisrepulsivepillowwasherespecialproperty,beingusedasaweaponofdefense,abarricade,orasternpreventiveoftoomuchslumber。
  Laurieknewthispillowwell,andhadcausetoregarditwithdeepaversion,havingbeenunmercifullypummeledwithitinformerdayswhenrompingwasallowed,andnowfrequentlydebarredbyitfromtheseathemostcovetednextotJointhesofacorner。If`thesausage’asthecalledit,stoodonend,itwasasignthathemightapproachandrepose,butifitlayflatacrossthesofa,woetoman,woman,orchildwhodareddisturbit!ThateveningJoforgottobarricadehercorner,andhadnotbeeninherseatfiveminutes,beforeamassiveformappearedbesideher,andwithbotharmsspreadoverthesofaback,bothlonglegsstretchedoutbeforehim,Laurieexclaimed,withasighofsatisfaction……
  “Now,thisisfillingattheprice。“
  “Noslang,“snappedJo,slammingdownthepillow。Butitwastoolate,therewasnoroomforit,andcoastingontothefloor,itdisappearedinamostmysteriousmanner。
  “Come,Jo,don’tbethorny。Afterstudyinghimselftoaskeletonalltheweek,afellowdeservespettingandoughttogetit。“
  “Bethwillpetyou。I’mbusy。“
  “No,she’snottobebotheredwithme,butyoulikethatsortofthing,unlessyou’vesuddenlylostyourtasteforit。Haveyou?
  Doyouhateyourboy,andwanttofirepillowsathim?“
  Anythingmorewheedlesomethanthattouchingappealwasseldomheard,butJoquenched`herboy’byturningonhimwithasternquery,“HowmanybouquetshaveyousentMissRandalthisweek?“
  “Notone,uponmyword。She’sengaged。Nowthen。“
  “I’mgladofit,that’soneofyourfoolishextravagances,sendingflowersandthingstogirlsforwhomyoudon’tcaretwopins,“continuedJoreprovingly。
  “SensiblegirlsforwhomIdocarewholepapersofpinswon’tletmesendthem`flowersandthings’,sowhatcanIdo?Myfeelingsneeda`vent’。“
  “Motherdoesn’tapproveofflirtingeveninfun,andyoudoflirtdesperately,Teddy。“
  “I’dgiveanythingifIcouldanswer,`Sodoyou’。AsIcan’t,I’llmerelysaythatIdon’tseeanyharminthatpleasantlittlegame,ifallpartiesunderstandthatit’sonlyplay。“
  “Well,itdoeslookpleasant,butIcan’tlearnhowit’sdone。
  I’vetried,becauseonefeelsawkwardincompanynottodoaseverybodyelseiddoing,butIdon’tseemtogeton“,saidJo,forgettingtoplaymentor。
  “TakelessonsofAmy,shehasaregulartalentforit。“
  “Yes,shedoesitveryprettily,andneverseemstogotoofar。Isupposeit’snaturaltosomepeopletopleasewithouttrying,andotherstoalwayssayanddothewrongthinginthewrongplace。“
  “I’mgladyoucan’tflirt。It’sreallyrefreshingtoseeasensible,straightforwardgirl,whocanbejollyandkindwithoutmakingafoolofherself。Betweenourselves,Jo,someofthegirlsIknowreallydogoonatsucharateI’mashamedofthem。
  Theydon’tmeananyharm,I’msure,butiftheyknewhowwefellowstalkedaboutthemafterward,they’dmendtheirways,I
  fancy。“
  “Theydothesame,andastheirtonguesarethesharpest,youfellowsgettheworstofit,foryouareassillyasthey,everybit。Ifyoubehavedproperly,theywould,butknowingyouliketheirnonsense,theykeepitup,andthenyoublamethem。“
  “Muchyouknowaboutit,ma’am,“saidLaurieinasuperiortone。
  “Wedon’tlikerompsandflirts,thoughwemayactasifwedidsometimes。Thepretty,modestgirlsarenevertalkedabout,exceptrespectfully,amonggentleman。
  Blessyourinnocentsoul!Ifyoucouldbeinmyplaceforamonthyou’dseethingsthatwouldastonishyouatrifle。
  Uponmyword,whenIseeoneofthoseharum-scarumgirls,IalwayswanttosaywithourfriendCockRobin……
  “Outuponyou,fieuponyou,Bold-facedjig!“
  ItwasimpossibletohelplaughingatthefunnyconflictbetweenLaurie’schivalrousreluctancetospeakillofwomankind,andhisverynaturaldislikeoftheunfemininefollyofwhichfashionablesocietyshowedhimmanysamples。Joknewthat`youngLaurence’wasregardedasamosteligiblepartibyworldlymamas,wasmuchsmileduponbytheirdaughters,andflatteredenoughbyladiesofallagestomakeacoxcombofhim,soshewatchedhimratherjealously,fearinghewouldbespoiled,andrejoicedmorethansheconfessedtofindthathestillbelievedinmodestgirls。Returningsuddenlytoheradmonitorytone,shesaid,droppinghervoice,“Ifyoumusthavea`went’,Teddy,goanddevoteyourselftooneofthe`pretty,modestgirls’whomyoudorespect,andnotwasteyourtimewiththesillyones。“
  “Youreallyadviseit?“AndLaurielookedatherwithanoddmixtureofanxietyandmerrimentinhisface。
  “Yes,Ido,butyou’dbetterwaittillyouarethroughcollege,onthewhole,andbefittingyourselffortheplacemeantime。You’renothalfgoodenoughfor——well,whoeverthemodestgirlmaybe。“AndJolookedalittlequeerlikewise,foranamehadalmostescapedher。
  “ThatI’mnot!“acquiescedLaurie,withanexpressionofhumilityquitenewtohim,ashedroppedhiseyesandabsentlywoundJo’saprontasselroundhisfinger。
  “Mercyonus,thiswillneverdo,“thoughtJo,addingaloud,“Goandsingtome。I’mdyingforsomemusic,andalwayslikeyours。“
  “I’dratherstayhere,thankyou。“