首页 >出版文学> Little Women>第51章

第51章

  “Well,youcan’t,thereisn’troom。Goandmakeyourselfuseful,sinceyouaretoobigtobeornamental。Ithoughtyouhatedtobetiedtoawoman’sapronstring?“retortedJo,quotingcertainrebelliouswordsofhisown。
  “Ah,thatdependsonwhowearstheapron!“andLauriegaveanaudacioustweakatthetassel。
  “Areyougoing?“demandedJo,divingforthepillow。
  Hefledatonce,andtheminuteitwaswell,“UpwiththebonnetsofbonnieDundee,“sheslippedawaytoreturnnomoretilltheyounggentlemandepartedinhighdudgeon。
  Jolaylongawakethatnight,andwasjustdroppingoffwhenthesoundofastifledsobmadeherflytoBeth’sbedside,withtheanxiousinquiry,“Whatisit,dear?“
  “Ithoughtyouwereasleep,“sobbedBeth。
  “Isittheoldpain,myprecious?’
  “No,it’sanewone,butIcanbearit。“AndBethtriedtocheckhertears。
  “Tellmeallaboutit,andletmecureitasIoftendidtheother。“
  “Youcan’t,thereisnocure。“ThereBeth’svoicegaveway,andclingingtohersister,shecriedsodespairinglythatJowasfrightened。
  “Whereisit?ShallIcallMother?“
  “No,no,don’tcallher,don’ttellher。Ishallbebettersoon。Liedownhereand`poor’myhead。I’llbequietandgotosleep,indeedIwill。“
  Joobeyed,butasherhandwentsoftlytoandfroacrossBeth’shotforeheadandweteyelids,herheartwasveryfullandshelongedtospeak。Butyoungasshewas,Johadlearnedthathearts,likeflowers,cannotberudelyhandled,butmustopennaturally,sothoughshebelievedsheknewthecauseofBeth’snewpain,sheonlysaid,inhertenderesttone,“Doesanythingtroubleyou,deary?“
  “Yes,Jo,“afteralongpause。
  “Wouldn’titcomfortyoutotellmewhatitis?“
  “notnow,notyet。“
  “ThenIwon’task,butremember,Bethy,thatMotherandJoarealwaysgladtohearandhelpyou,iftheycan。“
  “Iknowit。I’lltellyouby-and-by。“
  “Isthepainbetternow?“
  “Oh,yes,muchbetter,youaresocomfortable,Jo。“
  “Gotosleep,dear。I’llstaywithyou。“
  Socheektocheektheyfellasleep,andonthemorrowBethseemedquiteherselfagain,forateighteenneitherheadsnorheartsachelong,andalovingwordcanmedicinemostills。
  ButJohadmadeuphermind,andafterponderingoveraprojectforsomedays,sheconfidedittohermother。
  “Youaskedmetheotherdaywhatmywisheswere。I’lltellyouoneofthem,Marmee,“shebegan,astheysatalongtogether。“Iwanttogoawaysomewherethiswinterforachange。“
  “Why,Jo?“Andhermotherlookedupquickly,asifthewordssuggestedadoublemeaning。
  WithhereyesonherworkJoansweredsoberly,“Iwantsomethingnew。Ifeelrestlessandanxioustobeseeing,doing,andlearningmorethanIam。Ibroodtoomuchovermyownsmallaffairs,andneedstirringup,soasIcanbesparedthiswinter,I’dliketohopalittlewayandtrymywings。“
  “Wherewillyouhop?“
  “ToNewYork。Ihadabrightideayesterday,andthisisit。YouknowMrs。Kirkewrotetoyouforsomerespectableyoungpersontoteachherchildrenandsew。It’sratherhardtofindjustthething,butIthinkIshouldsuitifItried。“
  “Mydear,goouttoserviceinthatgreatboardinghouse!“
  AndMrs。Marchlookedsurprised,butnotdispleased。
  “It’snotexactlygoingouttoservice,forMrs。Kirkeisyourfriend——thekindestsoulthateverlived——andwouldmakethingspleasantforme,Iknow。Herfamilyisseparatefromtherest,andnooneknowsmethere。Don’tcareiftheydo。
  It’shonestwork,andI’mnotashamedofit。“
  “NorI。Butyourwriting?“
  “Allthebetterforthechange。Ishallseeandhearnewthings,getnewideas,andevenifIhaven’tmuchtimethere,Ishallbringhomequantitiesofmaterialformyrubbish。“
  “Ihavenodoubtofit,butaretheseyouronlyreasonsforthissuddenfancy?’
  “No,Mother。“
  “MayIknowtheothers?“
  JolookedupandJolookeddown,thensaidslowly,withsuddencolorinhercheeks。“Itmaybevainandwrongtosayit,but——I’mafraid——Laurieisgettingtoofondofme。“
  “Thenyoudon’tcareforhiminthewayitisevidenthebeginstocareforyou?’AndMrs。Marchlookedanxiousassheputthequestion。
  “Mercy,no!Ilovethedearboy,asIalwayshave,andamimmenselyproudofhim,butasforanythingmore,it’soutofthequestion。“
  “I’mgladofthat,Jo。“
  “Why,please?’
  “Because,dear,Idon’tthinkyousuitedtooneanother。Asfriendsyouareveryhappy,andyourfrequentquarrelssoonblowover,butIfearyouwouldbothrebelifyouwerematedforlife。
  Youaretoomuchalikeandtoofondoffreedom,nottomentionhottempersandstrongwills,togetonhappilytogether,inarelationwhichneedsinfinitepatienceandforbearance,aswellaslove。“
  “That’sjustthefeelingIhad,thoughIcouldn’texpressit。
  I’mgladyouthinkheisonlybeginningtocareforme。Itwouldtroublemesadlytomakehimunhappy,forIcouldn’tfallinlovewiththedearoldfellowmerelyoutofgratitude,couldI?“
  “Youaresureofhisfeelingforyou?“
  ThecolordeepenedinJo’scheeksassheanswered,withthelookofmingledpleasure,pride,andpainwhichyounggirlswearwhenspeakingoffirstlovers,“I’mafraiditisso,Mother。Hehasn’tsaidanything,buthelooksagreatdeal。
  IthinkIhadbettergoawaybeforeitcomestoanything。“
  “Iagreewithyou,andifitcanbemanagedyoushallgo。“
  Jolookedrelieved,andafterapause,said,smiling,“HowMrs。Moffatwouldwonderatyourwantofmanagement,ifsheknew,andhowshewillrejoicethatAnniemaystillhope。“
  “AH,Jo,mothersmaydifferintheirmanagement,butthehopeisthesameinall——thedesiretoseetheirchildrenhappy。
  Megisso,andIamcontentwithhersuccess。YouIleavetoenjoyyourlibertytillyoutireofit,foronlythenwillyoufindthatthereissomethingsweeter。Amyismychiefcarenow,buthergoodsensewillhelp;her。ForBeth,Iindulgenohopesexceptthatshemaybewell。Bytheway,sheseemsbrighterthislastdayortwo。Haveyouspokentoher?’
  “Yes,sheownedshehadatrouble,andpromisedtotellmeby-and-by。Isaidnomore,forIthinkIknowit,“AndJotoldherlittlestory。
  Mrs。Marchshookherhead,anddidnottakesoromanticaviewofthecase,butlookedgrave,andrepeatedheropinionthatforLaurie’ssakeJoshouldgoawayforatime。
  “Letussaynothingaboutittohimtilltheplanissettled,thenI’llrunawaybeforehecancollecthiswitsandbetragic。
  BethmustthinkI’mgoingtopleasemyself,asIam,forIcan’ttalkaboutLaurietoher。ButshecanpetandcomforthimafterI’mgone,andsocurehimofthisromanticnotion。He’sbeenthroughsomanylittletrialsofthesort,he’susedtoit,andwillsoongetoverhislovelornity。“
  Jospokehopefully,butcouldnotridherselfoftheforebodingfearthatthis`littletrial’wouldbeharderthantheothers,andthatLauriewouldnotgetoverhis`lovelornity’aseasilyasheretofore。
  Theplanwastalkedoverinafamilycouncilandagreedupon,forMrs。KirkegladlyacceptedJo,andpromisedtomakeapleasanthomeforher。Theteachingwouldrenderherindependent,andsuchleisureasshegotmightbemadeprofitablebywriting,whilethenewscenesandsocietywouldbebothusefulandagreeable。Jolikedtheprospectandwaseagertobegone,forthehomenestwasgrowingtoonarrowforherrestlessnatureandadventurousspirit。Whenallwassettled,withfearandtremblingshetoldLaurie,buttohersurprisehetookitveryquietly。Hehadbeengraverthanusualoflate,butverypleasant,andwhenjokinglyaccusedofturningoveranewleaf,heansweredsoberly,“SoIam,andImeanthisoneshallstayturned。“
  Jowasverymuchrelievedthatoneofhisvirtuousfitsshouldcomeonjustthen,andmadeherpreparationswithalightenedheart,forBethseemedmorecheerful,andhopedshewasdoingthebestforall。
  “OnethingIleaveinyourespecialcare,“shesaid,thenightbeforesheleft。
  “Youmeanyourpapers?“askedBeth。
  “No,myboy。Beverygoodtohim,won’tyou?“
  “OfcourseIwill,butIcan’tfillyourplace,andhe’llmissyousadly。“
  “Itwon’thurthim,soremember,Ileavehiminyourcharge,toplague,pet,andkeepinorder。“
  “I’lldomybest,foryoursake,“promisedBeth,wonderingwhyJolookedathersoqueerly。
  WhenLauriesaidgood-by,hewhisperedsignificantly,“Itwon’tdoabitofgood,Jo。Myeyeisonyou,somindwhatyoudo,orI’llcomeandbringyouhome。“
  NewYork,NovemberDearMarmeeandBeth,I’mgoingtowriteyouaregularvolume,forI’vegotheapstotell,thoughI’mnotafineyoungladytravelingonthecontinent。
  WhenIlostsightofFather’sdearoldface,Ifeltatrifleblue,andmighthaveshedabrinydroportwo,ifanIrishladywithfoursmallchildren,allcryingmoreorless,hadn’tdivertedmymind,forIamusedmyselfbydroppinggingerbreadnutsovertheseateverytimetheyopenedtheirmouthstoroar。
  Soonthesuncameout,andtakingitasagoodomen,I
  cleareduplikewiseandenjoyedmyjourneywithallmyheart。
  Mrs。KirkewelcomedmesokindlyIfeltathomeatonce,eveninthatbighousefullofstrangers。Shegavemeafunnylittleskyparlor——allshehad,butthereisastoveinit,andanicetableinasunnywindow,soIcansithereandwritewheneverIlike。Afineviewandachurchtoweroppositeatoneforthemanystairs,andItookafancytomydenonthespot。
  Thenursery,whereIamtoteachandsew,isapleasantroomnextMrs。Kirke’sprivateparlor,andthetwolittlegirlsareprettychildren,ratherspoiled,Ifancy,buttheytooktomeaftertellingthemTheSevenBadPigs,andI’venodoubtIshallmakeamodelgoverness。
  Iamtohavemymealswiththechildren,ifIpreferittothegreattable,andforthepresentIdo,forIambashful,thoughnoonewillbelieveit。
  “Now,mydear,makeyourselfathome,“saidMrs。K。inhermotherlyway,“I’monthedrivefrommorningtonight,asyoumaysupposewithsuchafamily,butagreatanxietywillbeoffmymindifIknowthechildrenaresafewithyou。Myroomsarealwaysopentoyou,andyourownshallbeascomfortableasI
  canmakeit。Therearesomepleasantpeopleinthehouseifyoufeelsociable,andyoureveningsarealwaysfree。Cometomeifanythinggoeswrong,andbeashappyasyoucan。There’stheteabell,Imustrunandchangemycap。“Andoffshebustled,leavingmetosettlemyselfinmynewnest。
  AsIwentdownstairssoonafter,IsawsomethingIliked。
  Theflightsareverylonginthistallhouse,andasIstoodwaitingattheheadofthethirdoneforalittleservantgirltolumberup,Isawagentlemancomealongbehindher,taketheheavyhodofcoaloutofherhand,carryitallthewayup,putitdownatadoornearby,andwalkaway,saying,withakindnodandaforeignaccent,“Itgoesbetterso。Thelittlebackistooyoungtohafsuchheaviness。“
  Wasn’titgoodofhim?Ilikesuchthings,forasFathersays,triflesshowcharacter。WhenImentionedittoMrs。K。,thatevening,shelaughed,andsaid,“ThatmusthavebeenProfessorBhaer,he’salwaysdoingthingsofthatsort。“
  Mrs。K。toldmehewasfromBerlin,verylearnedandgood,butpoorasachurchmouse,andgiveslessonstosupporthimselfandtwolittleorphannephewswhomheiseducatinghere,accordingtothewishesofhissister,whomarriedanAmerican。Notaveryromanticstory,butitinterestedme,andIwasgladtohearthatMrs。K。lendshimherparlorforsomeofhisscholars。
  Thereisaglassdoorbetweenitandthenursery,andImeantopeepathim,andthenI’lltellyouhowhelooks。He’salmostforty,soit’snoharm,Marmee。
  Afterteaandago-to-bedrompwiththelittlegirls,I
  attackedthebigworkbasket,andhadaquieteveningchattingwithmynewfriend。Ishallkeepajournal-letter,andsenditonceaweek,sogoodnight,andmoretomorrow。