首页 >出版文学> LITTLE DORRIT>第69章

第69章

  AsClennamsaidthatitwashisfavouriteway,hefeltherhandfalteronhisarm,andsawtherosesshake。
  ’Willyouletmegiveyouone,MrClennam?IgatheredthemasI
  cameoutofthegarden。Indeed,Ialmostgatheredthemforyou,thinkingitsolikelyImightmeetyou。MrDoycearrivedmorethananhourago,andtoldusyouwerewalkingdown。’
  Hisownhandshook,asheacceptedaroseortwofromhersandthankedher。Theywerenowbyanavenueoftrees。Whethertheyturnedintoitonhismovementoronhersmatterslittle。Heneverknewhowthatwas。
  ’Itisverygravehere,’saidClennam,’butverypleasantatthishour。Passingalongthisdeepshade,andoutatthatarchoflightattheotherend,wecomeupontheferryandthecottagebythebestapproach,Ithink。’
  Inhersimplegarden-hatandherlightsummerdress,withherrichbrownhairnaturallyclusteringabouther,andherwonderfuleyesraisedtohisforamomentwithalookinwhichregardforhimandtrustfulnessinhimwerestrikinglyblendedwithakindoftimidsorrowforhim,shewassobeautifulthatitwaswellforhispeace——orillforhispeace,hedidnotquiteknowwhich——thathehadmadethatvigorousresolutionhehadsooftenthoughtabout。
  Shebrokeamomentarysilencebyinquiringifheknewthatpapahadbeenthinkingofanothertourabroad?Hesaidhehadhearditmentioned。Shebrokeanothermomentarysilencebyadding,withsomehesitation,thatpapahadabandonedtheidea。
  Atthis,hethoughtdirectly,’theyaretobemarried。’
  ’MrClennam,’shesaid,hesitatingmoretimidlyyet,andspeakingsolowthathebenthisheadtohearher。’Ishouldverymuchliketogiveyoumyconfidence,ifyouwouldnotmindhavingthegoodnesstoreceiveit。Ishouldhaveverymuchlikedtohavegivenittoyoulongago,because——Ifeltthatyouwerebecomingsomuchourfriend。’
  ’HowcanIbeotherwisethanproudofitatanytime!Praygiveittome。Praytrustme。’
  ’Icouldneverhavebeenafraidoftrustingyou,’shereturned,raisinghereyesfranklytohisface。’IthinkIwouldhavedonesosometimeago,ifIhadknownhow。ButIscarcelyknowhow,evennow。’
  ’MrGowan,’saidArthurClennam,’hasreasontobeveryhappy。Godblesshiswifeandhim!’
  Shewept,asshetriedtothankhim。Hereassuredher,tookherhandasitlaywiththetremblingrosesinitonhisarm,tooktheremainingrosesfromit,andputittohislips。Atthattime,itseemedtohim,hefirstfinallyresignedthedyinghopethathadflickeredinnobody’sheartsomuchtoitspainandtrouble;andfromthattimehebecameinhisowneyes,astoanysimilarhopeorprospect,averymucholdermanwhohaddonewiththatpartoflife。
  Heputtherosesinhisbreastandtheywalkedonforalittlewhile,slowlyandsilently,undertheumbrageoustrees。Thenheaskedher,inavoiceofcheerfulkindness,wasthereanythingelsethatshewouldsaytohimasherfriendandherfather’sfriend,manyyearsolderthanherself;wasthereanytrustshewouldreposeinhim,anyserviceshewouldaskofhim,anylittleaidtoherhappinessthatshecouldgivehimthelastinggratificationofbelievingitwasinhispowertorender?
  Shewasgoingtoanswer,whenshewassotouchedbysomelittlehiddensorroworsympathy——whatcouldithavebeen?——thatshesaid,burstingintotearsagain:’OMrClennam!Good,generous,MrClennam,praytellmeyoudonotblameme。’
  ’Iblameyou?’saidClennam。’Mydearestgirl!Iblameyou?No!’
  Afterclaspingbothherhandsuponhisarm,andlookingconfidentiallyupintohisface,withsomehurriedwordstotheeffectthatshethankedhimfromherheartasshedid,ifitbethesourceofearnestness,shegraduallycomposedherself,withnowandthenawordofencouragementfromhim,astheywalkedonslowlyandalmostsilentlyunderthedarkeningtrees。
  ’And,now,MinnieGowan,’atlengthsaidClennam,smiling;’willyouaskmenothing?’
  ’Oh!Ihaveverymuchtoaskofyou。’
  ’That’swell!Ihopeso;Iamnotdisappointed。’
  ’YouknowhowIamlovedathome,andhowIlovehome。Youcanhardlythinkitperhaps,dearMrClennam,’shespokewithgreatagitation,’seeingmegoingfromitofmyownfreewillandchoice,butIdosodearlyloveit!’
  ’Iamsureofthat,’saidClennam。’CanyousupposeIdoubtit?’
  ’No,no。Butitisstrange,eventome,thatlovingitsomuchandbeingsomuchbelovedinit,Icanbeartocastitaway。Itseemssoneglectfulofit,sounthankful。’
  ’Mydeargirl,’saidClennam,’itisinthenaturalprogressandchangeoftime。Allhomesareleftso。’
  ’Yes,Iknow;butallhomesarenotleftwithsuchablankinthemastherewillbeinminewhenIamgone。NotthatthereisanyscarcityoffarbetterandmoreendearingandmoreaccomplishedgirlsthanIam;notthatIammuch,butthattheyhavemadesomuchofme!’
  Pet’saffectionateheartwasovercharged,andshesobbedwhileshepicturedwhatwouldhappen。
  ’Iknowwhatachangepapawillfeelatfirst,andIknowthatatfirstIcannotbetohimanythinglikewhatIhavebeenthesemanyyears。Anditisthen,MrClennam,thenmorethanatanytime,thatIbegandentreatyoutorememberhim,andsometimestokeephimcompanywhenyoucansparealittlewhile;andtotellhimthatyouknowIwasfonderofhimwhenIlefthim,thanIeverwasinallmylife。Forthereisnobody——hetoldmesohimselfwhenhetalkedtomethisveryday——thereisnobodyhelikessowellasyou,ortrustssomuch。’
  AcluetowhathadpassedbetweenthefatheranddaughterdroppedlikeaheavystoneintothewellofClennam’sheart,andswelledthewatertohiseyes。Hesaid,cheerily,butnotquitesocheerilyashetriedtosay,thatitshouldbedone——thathegaveherhisfaithfulpromise。
  ’IfIdonotspeakofmama,’saidPet,moremovedby,andmoreprettyin,herinnocentgrief,thanClennamcouldtrusthimselfeventoconsider——forwhichreasonhecountedthetreesbetweenthemandthefadinglightastheyslowlydiminishedinnumber——’itisbecausemamawillunderstandmebetterinthisaction,andwillfeelmylossinadifferentway,andwilllookforwardinadifferentmanner。Butyouknowwhatadear,devotedmothersheis,andyouwillrememberhertoo;willyounot?’
  LetMinnietrusthim,Clennamsaid,letMinnietrusthimtodoallshewished。
  ’And,dearMrClennam,’saidMinnie,’becausepapaandonewhomI
  neednotname,donotfullyappreciateandunderstandoneanotheryet,astheywillby-and-by;andbecauseitwillbetheduty,andthepride,andpleasureofmynewlife,todrawthemtoabetterknowledgeofoneanother,andtobeahappinesstooneanother,andtobeproudofoneanother,andtoloveoneanother,bothlovingmesodearly;oh,asyouareakind,trueman!whenIamfirstseparatedfromhomeIamgoingalongdistanceaway,trytoreconcilepapatohimalittlemore,anduseyourgreatinfluencetokeephimbeforepapa’smindfreefromprejudiceandinhisrealform。Willyoudothisforme,asyouareanoble-heartedfriend?’
  PoorPet!Self-deceived,mistakenchild!Whenweresuchchangesevermadeinmen’snaturalrelationstooneanother:whenwassuchreconcilementofingraindifferencesevereffected!Ithasbeentriedmanytimesbyotherdaughters,Minnie;ithasneversucceeded;nothinghasevercomeofitbutfailure。
  SoClennamthought。Sohedidnotsay;itwastoolate。Heboundhimselftodoallsheasked,andsheknewfullwellthathewoulddoit。
  Theywerenowatthelasttreeintheavenue。Shestopped,andwithdrewherarm。Speakingtohimwithhereyeslifteduptohis,andwiththehandthathadlatelyrestedonhissleevetremblingbytouchingoneoftherosesinhisbreastasanadditionalappealtohim,shesaid:
  ’DearMrClennam,inmyhappiness——forIamhappy,thoughyouhaveseenmecrying——Icannotbeartoleaveanycloudbetweenus。IfyouhaveanythingtoforgivemenotanythingthatIhavewilfullydone,butanytroubleImayhavecausedyouwithoutmeaningit,orhavingitinmypowertohelpit,forgivemeto-nightoutofyournobleheart!’
  Hestoopedtomeettheguilelessfacethatmethiswithoutshrinking。Hekissedit,andanswered,Heavenknewthathehadnothingtoforgive。Ashestoopedtomeettheinnocentfaceonceagain,shewhispered,’Good-bye!’andherepeatedit。Itwastakingleaveofallhisoldhopes——allnobody’soldrestlessdoubts。Theycameoutoftheavenuenextmoment,arm-in-armastheyhadenteredit:andthetreesseemedtocloseupbehindtheminthedarkness,liketheirownperspectiveofthepast。
  ThevoicesofMrandMrsMeaglesandDoycewereaudibledirectly,speakingnearthegardengate。HearingPet’snameamongthem,Clennamcalledout,’Sheishere,withme。’Therewassomelittlewonderingandlaughinguntiltheycameup;butassoonastheyhadallcometogether,itceased,andPetglidedaway。
  MrMeagles,Doyce,andClennam,withoutspeaking,walkedupanddownonthebrinkoftheriver,inthelightoftherisingmoon,forafewminutes;andthenDoycelingeredbehind,andwentintothehouse。MrMeaglesandClennamwalkedupanddowntogetherforafewminutesmorewithoutspeaking,untilatlengththeformerbrokesilence。
  ’Arthur,’saidhe,usingthatfamiliaraddressforthefirsttimeintheircommunication,’doyouremembermytellingyou,aswewalkedupanddownonehotmorning,lookingovertheharbouratMarseilles,thatPet’sbabysisterwhowasdeadseemedtoMotherandmetohavegrownasshehadgrown,andchangedasshehadchanged?’
  ’Verywell。’
  ’Youremembermysayingthatourthoughtshadneverbeenabletoseparatethosetwinsisters,andthat,inourfancy,whateverPetwas,theotherwas?’
  ’Yes,verywell。’
  ’Arthur,’saidMrMeagles,muchsubdued,’Icarrythatfancyfurtherto-night。Ifeelto-night,mydearfellow,asifyouhadlovedmydeadchildverytenderly,andhadlostherwhenshewaslikewhatPetisnow。’
  ’Thankyou!’murmuredClennam,’thankyou!’Andpressedhishand。
  ’Willyoucomein?’saidMrMeagles,presently。
  ’Inalittlewhile。’
  MrMeaglesfellaway,andhewasleftalone。Whenhehadwalkedontheriver’sbrinkinthepeacefulmoonlightforsomehalfanhour,heputhishandinhisbreastandtenderlytookoutthehandfulofroses。Perhapsheputthemtohisheart,perhapsheputthemtohislips,butcertainlyhebentdownontheshoreandgentlylaunchedthemontheflowingriver。Paleandunrealinthemoonlight,theriverfloatedthemaway。
  Thelightswerebrightwithindoorswhenheentered,andthefacesonwhichtheyshone,hisownfacenotexcepted,weresoonquietlycheerful。Theytalkedofmanysubjectshispartnerneverhadhadsuchareadystoretodrawuponforthebeguilingofthetime,andsotobed,andtosleep。Whiletheflowers,paleandunrealinthemoonlight,floatedawayupontheriver;andthusdogreaterthingsthatoncewereinourbreasts,andnearourhearts,flowfromustotheeternalseas。