首页 >出版文学> LITTLE DORRIT>第6章

第6章

  Covereithertwoofthosechannelsofexpression,andthethirdwouldhavesaidsostill。Maskthemall,andthemereturnoftheheadwouldhaveshownanunsubduablenature。
  PethadmoveduptohershehadbeenthesubjectofremarkamongherfamilyandMrClennam,whowerenowtheonlyotheroccupantsoftheroom,andwasstandingatherside。
  ’Areyou’——sheturnedhereyes,andPetfaltered——’expectinganyonetomeetyouhere,MissWade?’
  ’I?No。’
  ’FatherissendingtothePosteRestante。Shallhehavethepleasureofdirectingthemessengertoaskifthereareanylettersforyou?’
  ’Ithankhim,butIknowtherecanbenone。’
  ’Weareafraid,’saidPet,sittingdownbesideher,shylyandhalftenderly,’thatyouwillfeelquitedesertedwhenweareallgone。’
  ’Indeed!’
  ’Not,’saidPet,apologeticallyandembarrassedbyhereyes,’not,ofcourse,thatweareanycompanytoyou,orthatwehavebeenabletobeso,orthatwethoughtyouwishedit。’
  ’IhavenotintendedtomakeitunderstoodthatIdidwishit。’
  ’No。Ofcourse。But——inshort,’saidPet,timidlytouchingherhandasitlayimpassiveonthesofabetweenthem,’willyounotallowFathertotenderyouanyslightassistanceorservice?Hewillbeveryglad。’
  ’Veryglad,’saidMrMeagles,comingforwardwithhiswifeandClennam。’Anythingshortofspeakingthelanguage,Ishallbedelightedtoundertake,Iamsure。’
  ’Iamobligedtoyou,’shereturned,’butmyarrangementsaremade,andIprefertogomyownwayinmyownmanner。’
  ’Doyou?’saidMrMeaglestohimself,ashesurveyedherwithapuzzledlook。’Well!There’scharacterinthat,too。’
  ’Iamnotmuchusedtothesocietyofyoungladies,andIamafraidImaynotshowmyappreciationofitasothersmight。Apleasantjourneytoyou。Good-bye!’
  Shewouldnothaveputoutherhand,itseemed,butthatMrMeaglesputouthissostraightbeforeherthatshecouldnotpassit。Sheputhersinit,anditlaytherejustasithadlainuponthecouch。
  ’Good-bye!’saidMrMeagles。’Thisisthelastgood-byeuponthelist,forMotherandIhavejustsaidittoMrClennamhere,andheonlywaitstosayittoPet。Good-bye!Wemaynevermeetagain。’
  ’Inourcoursethroughlifeweshallmeetthepeoplewhoarecomingtomeetus,frommanystrangeplacesandbymanystrangeroads,’
  wasthecomposedreply;’andwhatitissettoustodotothem,andwhatitissettothemtodotous,willallbedone。’
  TherewassomethinginthemannerofthesewordsthatjarreduponPet’sear。Itimpliedthatwhatwastobedonewasnecessarilyevil,anditcausedhertosayinawhisper,’OFather!’andtoshrinkchildishly,inherspoiltway,alittleclosertohim。Thiswasnotlostonthespeaker。
  ’Yourprettydaughter,’shesaid,’startstothinkofsuchthings。
  Yet,’lookingfulluponher,’youmaybesurethattherearemenandwomenalreadyontheirroad,whohavetheirbusinesstodowithYOU,andwhowilldoit。Ofacertaintytheywilldoit。Theymaybecominghundreds,thousands,ofmilesovertheseathere;theymaybecloseathandnow;theymaybecoming,foranythingyouknoworanythingyoucandotopreventit,fromthevilestsweepingsofthisverytown。’
  Withthecoldestoffarewells,andwithacertainwornexpressiononherbeautythatgaveit,thoughscarcelyyetinitsprime,awastedlook,shelefttheroom。
  Now,thereweremanystairsandpassagesthatshehadtotraverseinpassingfromthatpartofthespacioushousetothechambershehadsecuredforherownoccupation。Whenshehadalmostcompletedthejourney,andwaspassingalongthegalleryinwhichherroomwas,sheheardanangrysoundofmutteringandsobbing。Adoorstoodopen,andwithinshesawtheattendantuponthegirlshehadjustleft;themaidwiththecuriousname。
  Shestoodstill,tolookatthismaid。Asullen,passionategirl!
  Herrichblackhairwasallaboutherface,herfacewasflushedandhot,andasshesobbedandraged,shepluckedatherlipswithanunsparinghand。
  ’Selfishbrutes!’saidthegirl,sobbingandheavingbetweenwhiles。’Notcaringwhatbecomesofme!Leavingmeherehungryandthirstyandtired,tostarve,foranythingtheycare!Beasts!
  Devils!Wretches!’
  ’Mypoorgirl,whatisthematter?’
  Shelookedupsuddenly,withreddenedeyes,andwithherhandssuspended,intheactofpinchingherneck,freshlydisfiguredwithgreatscarletblots。’It’snothingtoyouwhat’sthematter。Itdon’tsignifytoanyone。’
  ’Oyesitdoes;Iamsorrytoseeyouso。’
  ’Youarenotsorry,’saidthegirl。’Youareglad。Youknowyouareglad。Ineverwaslikethisbuttwiceoverinthequarantineyonder;andbothtimesyoufoundme。Iamafraidofyou。’
  ’Afraidofme?’
  ’Yes。Youseemtocomelikemyownanger,myownmalice,myown——
  whateveritis——Idon’tknowwhatitis。ButIamill-used,Iamill-used,Iamill-used!’Herethesobsandthetears,andthetearinghand,whichhadallbeensuspendedtogethersincethefirstsurprise,wentontogetheranew。
  Thevisitorstoodlookingatherwithastrangeattentivesmile。
  Itwaswonderfultoseethefuryofthecontestinthegirl,andthebodilystruggleshemadeasifshewererentbytheDemonsofold。
  ’Iamyoungerthansheisbytwoorthreeyears,andyetit’smethatlooksafterher,asifIwasold,andit’sshethat’salwayspettedandcalledBaby!Idetestthename。Ihateher!Theymakeafoolofher,theyspoilher。Shethinksofnothingbutherself,shethinksnomoreofmethanifIwasastockandastone!’Sothegirlwenton。
  ’Youmusthavepatience。’
  ’IWON’Thavepatience!’
  ’Iftheytakemuchcareofthemselves,andlittleornoneofyou,youmustnotmindit。’
  IWILLmindit。’
  ’Hush!Bemoreprudent。Youforgetyourdependentposition。’
  ’Idon’tcareforthat。I’llrunaway。I’lldosomemischief。I
  won’tbearit;Ican’tbearit;IshalldieifItrytobearit!’
  Theobserverstoodwithherhanduponherownbosom,lookingatthegirl,asoneafflictedwithadiseasedpartmightcuriouslywatchthedissectionandexpositionofananalogouscase。
  Thegirlragedandbattledwithalltheforceofheryouthandfulnessoflife,untilbylittleandlittleherpassionateexclamationstrailedoffintobrokenmurmursasifshewereinpain。Bycorrespondingdegreesshesankintoachair,thenuponherknees,thenuponthegroundbesidethebed,drawingthecoverletwithher,halftohidehershamedheadandwethairinit,andhalf,asitseemed,toembraceit,ratherthanhavenothingtotaketoherrepentantbreast。
  ’Goawayfromme,goawayfromme!Whenmytempercomesuponme,Iammad。IknowImightkeepitoffifIonlytriedhardenough,andsometimesIdotryhardenough,andatothertimesIdon’tandwon’t。WhathaveIsaid!IknewwhenIsaidit,itwasalllies。
  TheythinkIambeingtakencareofsomewhere,andhaveallIwant。
  Theyarenothingbutgoodtome。Ilovethemdearly;nopeoplecouldeverbekindertoathanklesscreaturethantheyalwaysaretome。Do,dogoaway,forIamafraidofyou。IamafraidofmyselfwhenIfeelmytempercoming,andIamasmuchafraidofyou。Goawayfromme,andletmeprayandcrymyselfbetter!’
  Thedaypassedon;andagainthewidestarestareditselfout;andthehotnightwasonMarseilles;andthroughitthecaravanofthemorning,alldispersed,wenttheirappointedways。Andthuseverbydayandnight,underthesunandunderthestars,climbingthedustyhillsandtoilingalongthewearyplains,journeyingbylandandjourneyingbysea,comingandgoingsostrangely,tomeetandtoactandreactononeanother,moveallwerestlesstravellersthroughthepilgrimageoflife。
  HomeItwasaSundayeveninginLondon,gloomy,close,andstale。
  Maddeningchurchbellsofalldegreesofdissonance,sharpandflat,crackedandclear,fastandslow,madethebrick-and-mortarechoeshideous。Melancholystreets,inapenitentialgarbofsoot,steepedthesoulsofthepeoplewhowerecondemnedtolookatthemoutofwindows,indiredespondency。Ineverythoroughfare,upalmosteveryalley,anddownalmosteveryturning,somedolefulbellwasthrobbing,jerking,tolling,asifthePlaguewereinthecityandthedead-cartsweregoinground。Everythingwasboltedandbarredthatcouldbypossibilityfurnishrelieftoanoverworkedpeople。Nopictures,nounfamiliaranimals,norareplantsorflowers,nonaturalorartificialwondersoftheancientworld——allTABOOwiththatenlightenedstrictness,thattheuglySouthSeagodsintheBritishMuseummighthavesupposedthemselvesathomeagain。Nothingtoseebutstreets,streets,streets。
  Nothingtobreathebutstreets,streets,streets。Nothingtochangethebroodingmind,orraiseitup。Nothingforthespenttoilertodo,buttocomparethemonotonyofhisseventhdaywiththemonotonyofhissixdays,thinkwhatawearylifeheled,andmakethebestofit——ortheworst,accordingtotheprobabilities。
  Atsuchahappytime,sopropitioustotheinterestsofreligionandmorality,MrArthurClennam,newlyarrivedfromMarseillesbywayofDover,andbyDovercoachtheBlue-eyedMaid,satinthewindowofacoffee-houseonLudgateHill。Tenthousandresponsiblehousessurroundedhim,frowningasheavilyonthestreetstheycomposed,asiftheywereeveryoneinhabitedbythetenyoungmenoftheCalender’sstory,whoblackenedtheirfacesandbemoanedtheirmiserieseverynight。FiftythousandlairssurroundedhimwherepeoplelivedsounwholesomelythatfairwaterputintotheircrowdedroomsonSaturdaynight,wouldbecorruptonSundaymorning;albeitmylord,theircountymember,wasamazedthattheyfailedtosleepincompanywiththeirbutcher’smeat。Milesofclosewellsandpitsofhouses,wheretheinhabitantsgaspedforair,stretchedfarawaytowardseverypointofthecompass。
  Throughtheheartofthetownadeadlysewerebbedandflowed,intheplaceofafinefreshriver。Whatsecularwantcouldthemillionorsoofhumanbeingswhosedailylabour,sixdaysintheweek,layamongtheseArcadianobjects,fromthesweetsamenessofwhichtheyhadnoescapebetweenthecradleandthegrave——whatsecularwantcouldtheypossiblyhaveupontheirseventhday?