Covereithertwoofthosechannelsofexpression,andthethirdwouldhavesaidsostill。Maskthemall,andthemereturnoftheheadwouldhaveshownanunsubduablenature。
PethadmoveduptohershehadbeenthesubjectofremarkamongherfamilyandMrClennam,whowerenowtheonlyotheroccupantsoftheroom,andwasstandingatherside。
’Areyou’——sheturnedhereyes,andPetfaltered——’expectinganyonetomeetyouhere,MissWade?’
’I?No。’
’FatherissendingtothePosteRestante。Shallhehavethepleasureofdirectingthemessengertoaskifthereareanylettersforyou?’
’Ithankhim,butIknowtherecanbenone。’
’Weareafraid,’saidPet,sittingdownbesideher,shylyandhalftenderly,’thatyouwillfeelquitedesertedwhenweareallgone。’
’Indeed!’
’Not,’saidPet,apologeticallyandembarrassedbyhereyes,’not,ofcourse,thatweareanycompanytoyou,orthatwehavebeenabletobeso,orthatwethoughtyouwishedit。’
’IhavenotintendedtomakeitunderstoodthatIdidwishit。’
’No。Ofcourse。But——inshort,’saidPet,timidlytouchingherhandasitlayimpassiveonthesofabetweenthem,’willyounotallowFathertotenderyouanyslightassistanceorservice?Hewillbeveryglad。’
’Veryglad,’saidMrMeagles,comingforwardwithhiswifeandClennam。’Anythingshortofspeakingthelanguage,Ishallbedelightedtoundertake,Iamsure。’
’Iamobligedtoyou,’shereturned,’butmyarrangementsaremade,andIprefertogomyownwayinmyownmanner。’
’Doyou?’saidMrMeaglestohimself,ashesurveyedherwithapuzzledlook。’Well!There’scharacterinthat,too。’
’Iamnotmuchusedtothesocietyofyoungladies,andIamafraidImaynotshowmyappreciationofitasothersmight。Apleasantjourneytoyou。Good-bye!’
Shewouldnothaveputoutherhand,itseemed,butthatMrMeaglesputouthissostraightbeforeherthatshecouldnotpassit。Sheputhersinit,anditlaytherejustasithadlainuponthecouch。
’Good-bye!’saidMrMeagles。’Thisisthelastgood-byeuponthelist,forMotherandIhavejustsaidittoMrClennamhere,andheonlywaitstosayittoPet。Good-bye!Wemaynevermeetagain。’
’Inourcoursethroughlifeweshallmeetthepeoplewhoarecomingtomeetus,frommanystrangeplacesandbymanystrangeroads,’
wasthecomposedreply;’andwhatitissettoustodotothem,andwhatitissettothemtodotous,willallbedone。’
TherewassomethinginthemannerofthesewordsthatjarreduponPet’sear。Itimpliedthatwhatwastobedonewasnecessarilyevil,anditcausedhertosayinawhisper,’OFather!’andtoshrinkchildishly,inherspoiltway,alittleclosertohim。Thiswasnotlostonthespeaker。
’Yourprettydaughter,’shesaid,’startstothinkofsuchthings。
Yet,’lookingfulluponher,’youmaybesurethattherearemenandwomenalreadyontheirroad,whohavetheirbusinesstodowithYOU,andwhowilldoit。Ofacertaintytheywilldoit。Theymaybecominghundreds,thousands,ofmilesovertheseathere;theymaybecloseathandnow;theymaybecoming,foranythingyouknoworanythingyoucandotopreventit,fromthevilestsweepingsofthisverytown。’
Withthecoldestoffarewells,andwithacertainwornexpressiononherbeautythatgaveit,thoughscarcelyyetinitsprime,awastedlook,shelefttheroom。
Now,thereweremanystairsandpassagesthatshehadtotraverseinpassingfromthatpartofthespacioushousetothechambershehadsecuredforherownoccupation。Whenshehadalmostcompletedthejourney,andwaspassingalongthegalleryinwhichherroomwas,sheheardanangrysoundofmutteringandsobbing。Adoorstoodopen,andwithinshesawtheattendantuponthegirlshehadjustleft;themaidwiththecuriousname。
Shestoodstill,tolookatthismaid。Asullen,passionategirl!
Herrichblackhairwasallaboutherface,herfacewasflushedandhot,andasshesobbedandraged,shepluckedatherlipswithanunsparinghand。
’Selfishbrutes!’saidthegirl,sobbingandheavingbetweenwhiles。’Notcaringwhatbecomesofme!Leavingmeherehungryandthirstyandtired,tostarve,foranythingtheycare!Beasts!
Devils!Wretches!’
’Mypoorgirl,whatisthematter?’
Shelookedupsuddenly,withreddenedeyes,andwithherhandssuspended,intheactofpinchingherneck,freshlydisfiguredwithgreatscarletblots。’It’snothingtoyouwhat’sthematter。Itdon’tsignifytoanyone。’
’Oyesitdoes;Iamsorrytoseeyouso。’
’Youarenotsorry,’saidthegirl。’Youareglad。Youknowyouareglad。Ineverwaslikethisbuttwiceoverinthequarantineyonder;andbothtimesyoufoundme。Iamafraidofyou。’
’Afraidofme?’
’Yes。Youseemtocomelikemyownanger,myownmalice,myown——
whateveritis——Idon’tknowwhatitis。ButIamill-used,Iamill-used,Iamill-used!’Herethesobsandthetears,andthetearinghand,whichhadallbeensuspendedtogethersincethefirstsurprise,wentontogetheranew。
Thevisitorstoodlookingatherwithastrangeattentivesmile。
Itwaswonderfultoseethefuryofthecontestinthegirl,andthebodilystruggleshemadeasifshewererentbytheDemonsofold。
’Iamyoungerthansheisbytwoorthreeyears,andyetit’smethatlooksafterher,asifIwasold,andit’sshethat’salwayspettedandcalledBaby!Idetestthename。Ihateher!Theymakeafoolofher,theyspoilher。Shethinksofnothingbutherself,shethinksnomoreofmethanifIwasastockandastone!’Sothegirlwenton。
’Youmusthavepatience。’
’IWON’Thavepatience!’
’Iftheytakemuchcareofthemselves,andlittleornoneofyou,youmustnotmindit。’
IWILLmindit。’
’Hush!Bemoreprudent。Youforgetyourdependentposition。’
’Idon’tcareforthat。I’llrunaway。I’lldosomemischief。I
won’tbearit;Ican’tbearit;IshalldieifItrytobearit!’
Theobserverstoodwithherhanduponherownbosom,lookingatthegirl,asoneafflictedwithadiseasedpartmightcuriouslywatchthedissectionandexpositionofananalogouscase。
Thegirlragedandbattledwithalltheforceofheryouthandfulnessoflife,untilbylittleandlittleherpassionateexclamationstrailedoffintobrokenmurmursasifshewereinpain。Bycorrespondingdegreesshesankintoachair,thenuponherknees,thenuponthegroundbesidethebed,drawingthecoverletwithher,halftohidehershamedheadandwethairinit,andhalf,asitseemed,toembraceit,ratherthanhavenothingtotaketoherrepentantbreast。
’Goawayfromme,goawayfromme!Whenmytempercomesuponme,Iammad。IknowImightkeepitoffifIonlytriedhardenough,andsometimesIdotryhardenough,andatothertimesIdon’tandwon’t。WhathaveIsaid!IknewwhenIsaidit,itwasalllies。
TheythinkIambeingtakencareofsomewhere,andhaveallIwant。
Theyarenothingbutgoodtome。Ilovethemdearly;nopeoplecouldeverbekindertoathanklesscreaturethantheyalwaysaretome。Do,dogoaway,forIamafraidofyou。IamafraidofmyselfwhenIfeelmytempercoming,andIamasmuchafraidofyou。Goawayfromme,andletmeprayandcrymyselfbetter!’
Thedaypassedon;andagainthewidestarestareditselfout;andthehotnightwasonMarseilles;andthroughitthecaravanofthemorning,alldispersed,wenttheirappointedways。Andthuseverbydayandnight,underthesunandunderthestars,climbingthedustyhillsandtoilingalongthewearyplains,journeyingbylandandjourneyingbysea,comingandgoingsostrangely,tomeetandtoactandreactononeanother,moveallwerestlesstravellersthroughthepilgrimageoflife。
HomeItwasaSundayeveninginLondon,gloomy,close,andstale。
Maddeningchurchbellsofalldegreesofdissonance,sharpandflat,crackedandclear,fastandslow,madethebrick-and-mortarechoeshideous。Melancholystreets,inapenitentialgarbofsoot,steepedthesoulsofthepeoplewhowerecondemnedtolookatthemoutofwindows,indiredespondency。Ineverythoroughfare,upalmosteveryalley,anddownalmosteveryturning,somedolefulbellwasthrobbing,jerking,tolling,asifthePlaguewereinthecityandthedead-cartsweregoinground。Everythingwasboltedandbarredthatcouldbypossibilityfurnishrelieftoanoverworkedpeople。Nopictures,nounfamiliaranimals,norareplantsorflowers,nonaturalorartificialwondersoftheancientworld——allTABOOwiththatenlightenedstrictness,thattheuglySouthSeagodsintheBritishMuseummighthavesupposedthemselvesathomeagain。Nothingtoseebutstreets,streets,streets。
Nothingtobreathebutstreets,streets,streets。Nothingtochangethebroodingmind,orraiseitup。Nothingforthespenttoilertodo,buttocomparethemonotonyofhisseventhdaywiththemonotonyofhissixdays,thinkwhatawearylifeheled,andmakethebestofit——ortheworst,accordingtotheprobabilities。
Atsuchahappytime,sopropitioustotheinterestsofreligionandmorality,MrArthurClennam,newlyarrivedfromMarseillesbywayofDover,andbyDovercoachtheBlue-eyedMaid,satinthewindowofacoffee-houseonLudgateHill。Tenthousandresponsiblehousessurroundedhim,frowningasheavilyonthestreetstheycomposed,asiftheywereeveryoneinhabitedbythetenyoungmenoftheCalender’sstory,whoblackenedtheirfacesandbemoanedtheirmiserieseverynight。FiftythousandlairssurroundedhimwherepeoplelivedsounwholesomelythatfairwaterputintotheircrowdedroomsonSaturdaynight,wouldbecorruptonSundaymorning;albeitmylord,theircountymember,wasamazedthattheyfailedtosleepincompanywiththeirbutcher’smeat。Milesofclosewellsandpitsofhouses,wheretheinhabitantsgaspedforair,stretchedfarawaytowardseverypointofthecompass。
Throughtheheartofthetownadeadlysewerebbedandflowed,intheplaceofafinefreshriver。Whatsecularwantcouldthemillionorsoofhumanbeingswhosedailylabour,sixdaysintheweek,layamongtheseArcadianobjects,fromthesweetsamenessofwhichtheyhadnoescapebetweenthecradleandthegrave——whatsecularwantcouldtheypossiblyhaveupontheirseventhday?
第6章