首页 >出版文学> LITTLE DORRIT>第5章

第5章

  ’AsanEnglishmanwhohasbeenmorethantwentyyearsinChina,no。’
  ’Then,’saidMrMeagles,layinghisforefingeronhiscompanion’sbreastwithgreatanimation,’don’tyouseeabeadle,now,ifyoucanhelpit。WheneverIseeabeadleinfullfig,comingdownastreetonaSundayattheheadofacharityschool,Iamobligedtoturnandrunaway,orIshouldhithim。ThenameofBeadlebeingoutofthequestion,andtheoriginatoroftheInstitutionforthesepoorfoundlingshavingbeenablessedcreatureofthenameofCoram,wegavethatnametoPet’slittlemaid。AtonetimeshewasTatty,andatonetimeshewasCoram,untilwegotintoawayofmixingthetwonamestogether,andnowsheisalwaysTattycoram。’
  ’Yourdaughter,’saidtheother,whentheyhadtakenanothersilentturntoandfro,and,afterstandingforamomentatthewallglancingdownatthesea,hadresumedtheirwalk,’isyouronlychild,Iknow,MrMeagles。MayIaskyou——innoimpertinentcuriosity,butbecauseIhavehadsomuchpleasureinyoursociety,mayneverinthislabyrinthofaworldexchangeaquietwordwithyouagain,andwishtopreserveanaccurateremembranceofyouandyours——mayIaskyou,ifIhavenotgatheredfromyourgoodwifethatyouhavehadotherchildren?’
  ’No。No,’saidMrMeagles。’Notexactlyotherchildren。Oneotherchild。’
  ’IamafraidIhaveinadvertentlytoucheduponatendertheme。’
  ’Nevermind,’saidMrMeagles。’IfIamgraveaboutit,Iamnotatallsorrowful。Itquietsmeforamoment,butdoesnotmakemeunhappy。Pethadatwinsisterwhodiedwhenwecouldjustseehereyes——exactlylikePet’s——abovethetable,asshestoodontiptoeholdingbyit。’
  ’Ah!indeed,indeed!’
  ’Yes,andbeingpracticalpeople,aresulthasgraduallysprungupinthemindsofMrsMeaglesandmyselfwhichperhapsyoumay——orperhapsyoumaynot——understand。Petandherbabysisterweresoexactlyalike,andsocompletelyone,thatinourthoughtswehaveneverbeenabletoseparatethemsince。Itwouldbeofnousetotellusthatourdeadchildwasamereinfant。Wehavechangedthatchildaccordingtothechangesinthechildsparedtousandalwayswithus。AsPethasgrown,thatchildhasgrown;asPethasbecomemoresensibleandwomanly,hersisterhasbecomemoresensibleandwomanlybyjustthesamedegrees。ItwouldbeashardtoconvincemethatifIwastopassintotheotherworldto-
  morrow,Ishouldnot,throughthemercyofGod,bereceivedtherebyadaughter,justlikePet,astopersuademethatPetherselfisnotarealityatmyside。’
  ’Iunderstandyou,’saidtheother,gently。
  ’Astoher,’pursuedherfather,’thesuddenlossofherlittlepictureandplayfellow,andherearlyassociationwiththatmysteryinwhichweallhaveourequalshare,butwhichisnotoftensoforciblypresentedtoachild,hasnecessarilyhadsomeinfluenceonhercharacter。Then,hermotherandIwerenotyoungwhenwemarried,andPethasalwayshadasortofgrown-uplifewithus,thoughwehavetriedtoadaptourselvestoher。Wehavebeenadvisedmorethanoncewhenshehasbeenalittleailing,tochangeclimateandairforherasoftenaswecould——especiallyataboutthistimeofherlife——andtokeepheramused。So,asIhavenoneedtostickatabank-desknowthoughIhavebeenpoorenoughinmytimeIassureyou,orIshouldhavemarriedMrsMeagleslongbefore,wegotrottingabouttheworld。ThisishowyoufoundusstaringattheNile,andthePyramids,andtheSphinxes,andtheDesert,andalltherestofit;andthisishowTattycoramwillbeagreatertravellerincourseoftimethanCaptainCook。’
  ’Ithankyou,’saidtheother,’veryheartilyforyourconfidence。’
  ’Don’tmentionit,’returnedMrMeagles,’Iamsureyouarequitewelcome。Andnow,MrClennam,perhapsImayaskyouwhetheryouhaveyetcometoadecisionwheretogonext?’
  ’Indeed,no。Iamsuchawaifandstrayeverywhere,thatIamliabletobedriftedwhereanycurrentmayset。’
  ’It’sextraordinarytome——ifyou’llexcusemyfreedominsayingso——thatyoudon’tgostraighttoLondon,’saidMrMeagles,inthetoneofaconfidentialadviser。
  ’PerhapsIshall。’
  ’Ay!ButImeanwithawill。’
  ’Ihavenowill。Thatistosay,’——hecolouredalittle,——’nexttononethatIcanputinactionnow。Trainedbymainforce;broken,notbent;heavilyironedwithanobjectonwhichIwasneverconsultedandwhichwasnevermine;shippedawaytotheotherendoftheworldbeforeIwasofage,andexiledthereuntilmyfather’sdeaththere,ayearago;alwaysgrindinginamillI
  alwayshated;whatistobeexpectedfrommeinmiddlelife?Will,purpose,hope?AllthoselightswereextinguishedbeforeIcouldsoundthewords。’
  ’Light’emupagain!’saidMrMeagles。
  ’Ah!Easilysaid。Iamtheson,MrMeagles,ofahardfatherandmother。Iamtheonlychildofparentswhoweighed,measured,andpricedeverything;forwhomwhatcouldnotbeweighed,measured,andpriced,hadnoexistence。Strictpeopleasthephraseis,professorsofasternreligion,theirveryreligionwasagloomysacrificeoftastesandsympathiesthatwerenevertheirown,offeredupasapartofabargainforthesecurityoftheirpossessions。Austerefaces,inexorablediscipline,penanceinthisworldandterrorinthenext——nothinggracefulorgentleanywhere,andthevoidinmycowedhearteverywhere——thiswasmychildhood,ifImaysomisusethewordastoapplyittosuchabeginningoflife。’
  ’Reallythough?’saidMrMeagles,madeveryuncomfortablebythepictureofferedtohisimagination。’Thatwasatoughcommencement。Butcome!Youmustnowstudy,andprofitby,allthatliesbeyondit,likeapracticalman。’
  ’Ifthepeoplewhoareusuallycalledpractical,werepracticalinyourdirection——’
  ’Why,sotheyare!’saidMrMeagles。
  ’Aretheyindeed?’
  ’Well,Isupposeso,’returnedMrMeagles,thinkingaboutit。’Eh?
  Onecanbutbepractical,andMrsMeaglesandmyselfarenothingelse。’
  ’MyunknowncourseiseasierandmorehelpfulthanIhadexpectedtofindit,then,’saidClennam,shakinghisheadwithhisgravesmile。’Enoughofme。Hereistheboat。’
  TheboatwasfilledwiththecockedhatstowhichMrMeaglesentertainedanationalobjection;andthewearersofthosecockedhatslandedandcameupthesteps,andalltheimpoundedtravellerscongregatedtogether。Therewasthenamightyproductionofpapersonthepartofthecockedhats,andacallingoverofnames,andgreatworkofsigning,sealing,stamping,inking,andsanding,withexceedinglyblurred,gritty,andundecipherableresults。Finally,everythingwasdoneaccordingtorule,andthetravellerswereatlibertytodepartwhithersoevertheywould。
  Theymadelittleaccountofstareandglare,inthenewpleasureofrecoveringtheirfreedom,butflittedacrosstheharbouringayboats,andreassembledatagreathotel,whencethesunwasexcludedbyclosedlattices,andwherebarepavedfloors,loftyceilings,andresoundingcorridorstemperedtheintenseheat。
  There,agreattableinagreatroomwassoonprofuselycoveredwithasuperbrepast;andthequarantinequartersbecamebareindeed,rememberedamongdaintydishes,southernfruits,cooledwines,flowersfromGenoa,snowfromthemountaintops,andallthecoloursoftherainbowflashinginthemirrors。
  ’ButIbearthosemonotonouswallsnoill-willnow,’saidMrMeagles。’Onealwaysbeginstoforgiveaplaceassoonasit’sleftbehind;Idaresayaprisonerbeginstorelenttowardshisprison,afterheisletout。’
  Theywereaboutthirtyincompany,andalltalking;butnecessarilyingroups。FatherandMotherMeaglessatwiththeirdaughterbetweenthem,thelastthreeononesideofthetable:ontheoppositesidesatMrClennam;atallFrenchgentlemanwithravenhairandbeard,ofaswartandterrible,nottosaygenteellydiabolicalaspect,butwhohadshownhimselfthemildestofmen;
  andahandsomeyoungEnglishwoman,travellingquitealone,whohadaproudobservantface,andhadeitherwithdrawnherselffromtherestorbeenavoidedbytherest——nobody,herselfexceptedperhaps,couldhavequitedecidedwhich。Therestofthepartywereoftheusualmaterials:travellersonbusiness,andtravellersforpleasure;officersfromIndiaonleave;merchantsintheGreekandTurkeytrades;aclericalEnglishhusbandinameekstrait-
  waistcoat,onaweddingtripwithhisyoungwife;amajesticEnglishmamaandpapa,ofthepatricianorder,withafamilyofthreegrowing-updaughters,whowerekeepingajournalfortheconfusionoftheirfellow-creatures;andadeafoldEnglishmother,toughintravel,withaverydecidedlygrown-updaughterindeed,whichdaughterwentsketchingabouttheuniverseintheexpectationofultimatelytoningherselfoffintothemarriedstate。
  ThereservedEnglishwomantookupMrMeaglesinhislastremark。
  ’Doyoumeanthataprisonerforgiveshisprison?’saidshe,slowlyandwithemphasis。
  ’Thatwasmyspeculation,MissWade。Idon’tpretendtoknowpositivelyhowaprisonermightfeel。Ineverwasonebefore。’
  ’Mademoiselledoubts,’saidtheFrenchgentlemaninhisownlanguage,’it’sbeingsoeasytoforgive?’
  ’Ido。’
  PethadtotranslatethispassagetoMrMeagles,whoneverbyanyaccidentacquiredanyknowledgewhateverofthelanguageofanycountryintowhichhetravelled。’Oh!’saidhe。’Dearme!Butthat’sapity,isn’tit?’
  ’ThatIamnotcredulous?’saidMissWade。
  ’Notexactlythat。Putitanotherway。Thatyoucan’tbelieveiteasytoforgive。’
  ’Myexperience,’shequietlyreturned,’hasbeencorrectingmybeliefinmanyrespects,forsomeyears。Itisournaturalprogress,Ihaveheard。’
  ’Well,well!Butit’snotnaturaltobearmalice,Ihope?’saidMrMeagles,cheerily。
  ’IfIhadbeenshutupinanyplacetopineandsuffer,Ishouldalwayshatethatplaceandwishtoburnitdown,orrazeittotheground。Iknownomore。’
  ’Strong,sir?’saidMrMeaglestotheFrenchman;itbeinganotherofhishabitstoaddressindividualsofallnationsinidiomaticEnglish,withaperfectconvictionthattheywereboundtounderstanditsomehow。’Ratherforcibleinourfairfriend,you’llagreewithme,Ithink?’
  TheFrenchgentlemancourteouslyreplied,’Plait-il?’TowhichMrMeaglesreturnedwithmuchsatisfaction,’Youareright。Myopinion。’
  Thebreakfastbeginningby-and-bytolanguish,MrMeaglesmadethecompanyaspeech。Itwasshortenoughandsensibleenough,consideringthatitwasaspeechatall,andhearty。Itmerelywenttotheeffectthatastheyhadallbeenthrowntogetherbychance,andhadallpreservedagoodunderstandingtogether,andwerenowabouttodisperse,andwerenotlikelyevertofindthemselvesalltogetheragain,whatcouldtheydobetterthanbidfarewelltooneanother,andgiveoneanothergood-speedinasimultaneousglassofcoolchampagneallroundthetable?Itwasdone,andwithageneralshakingofhandstheassemblybrokeupforever。
  Thesolitaryyoungladyallthistimehadsaidnomore。Sherosewiththerest,andsilentlywithdrewtoaremotecornerofthegreatroom,whereshesatherselfonacouchinawindow,seemingtowatchthereflectionofthewaterasitmadeasilverquiveringonthebarsofthelattice。Shesat,turnedawayfromthewholelengthoftheapartment,asifshewerelonelyofherownhaughtychoice。Andyetitwouldhavebeenasdifficultasevertosay,positively,whethersheavoidedtherest,orwasavoided。
  Theshadowinwhichshesat,fallinglikeagloomyveilacrossherforehead,accordedverywellwiththecharacterofherbeauty。Onecouldhardlyseetheface,sostillandscornful,setoffbythearcheddarkeyebrows,andthefoldsofdarkhair,withoutwonderingwhatitsexpressionwouldbeifachangecameoverit。Thatitcouldsoftenorrelent,appearednexttoimpossible。Thatitcoulddeepenintoangeroranyextremeofdefiance,andthatitmustchangeinthatdirectionwhenitchangedatall,wouldhavebeenitspeculiarimpressionuponmostobservers。Itwasdressedandtrimmedintonoceremonyofexpression。Althoughnotanopenface,therewasnopretenceinit。’Iamself-containedandself-
  reliant;youropinionisnothingtome;Ihavenointerestinyou,carenothingforyou,andseeandhearyouwithindifference’——thisitsaidplainly。Itsaidsointheproudeyes,intheliftednostril,inthehandsomebutcompressedandevencruelmouth。