首页 >出版文学> Letters on Literature>第35章
  regardedtheeventwhichwastoseparateme,asitturnedout,foreverfromasisterwhosetendernessalonehadhithertomorethansuppliedallthatIwantedinmymother’saffection。
  ThedaysoonarrivedwhichwastoremovethehappycouplefromAshtownHouse。Thecarriagestoodatthehall-
  door,andmypoorsisterkissedmeagainandagain,tellingmethatIshouldseehersoon。
  Thecarriagedroveaway,andIgazedafterituntilmyeyesfilledwithtears,and,returningslowlytomychamber,Iweptmorebitterlyand,sotospeak,moredesolately,thaneverIhaddonebefore。
  Myfatherhadneverseemedtoloveortotakeaninterestinme。Hehaddesiredason,andIthinkheneverthoroughlyforgavememyunfortunatesex。
  Myhavingcomeintotheworldatallashischildheregardedasakindoffraudulentintrusion,andashisantipathytomehaditsorigininanimperfectionofmine,tooradicalforremoval,Ineverevenhopedtostandhighinhisgoodgraces。
  Mymotherwas,Idaresay,asfondofmeasshewasofanyone;butshewasawomanofamasculineandaworldlycastofmind。Shehadnotendernessorsympathyfortheweaknesses,orevenfortheaffections,ofwoman’snatureandherdemeanourtowardsmewasperemptory,andoftenevenharsh。
  Itisnottobesupposed,then,thatI
  foundinthesocietyofmyparentsmuchtosupplythelossofmysister。Aboutayearafterhermarriage,wereceivedlettersfromMr。Carew,containingaccountsofmysister’shealth,which,thoughnotactuallyalarming,werecalculatedtomakeusseriouslyuneasy。Thesymptomsmostdweltuponwerelossofappetiteandcough。
  Thelettersconcludedbyintimatingthathewouldavailhimselfofmyfatherandmother’srepeatedinvitationtospendsometimeatAshtown,particularlyasthephysicianwhohadbeenconsultedastomysister’shealthhadstronglyadvisedaremovaltohernativeair。
  Therewereaddedrepeatedassurancesthatnothingseriouswasapprehended,asitwassupposedthataderangedstateoftheliverwastheonlysourceofthesymptomswhichatfirsthadseemedtointimateconsumption。
  Inaccordancewiththisannouncement,mysisterandMr。CarewarrivedinDublin,whereoneofmyfather’scarriagesawaitedthem,inreadinesstostartuponwhateverdayorhourtheymightchoosefortheirdepartureItwasarrangedthatMr。Carewwas,assoonasthedayuponwhichtheyweretoleaveDublinwasdefinitelyfixed,towritetomyfather,whointendedthatthetwolaststagesshouldbeperformedbyhisownhorses,uponwhosespeedandsafetyfarmorereliancemightbeplacedthanuponthoseoftheordinarypost-horses,whichwereatthattime,almostwithoutexception,oftheveryworstorder。Thejourney,oneofaboutninetymiles,wastobedivided;thelargerportionbeingreservedforthesecondday。
  OnSundayaletterreachedus,statingthatthepartywouldleaveDublinonMonday,and,induecourse,reachAshtownuponTuesdayevening。
  Tuesdaycametheeveningclosedin,andyetnocarriage;darknesscameon,andstillnosignofourexpectedvisitors。
  Hourafterhourpassedaway,anditwasnowpasttwelve;thenightwasremarkablycalm,scarceabreathstirring,sothatanysound,suchasthatproducedbytherapidmovementofavehicle,wouldhavebeenaudibleataconsiderabledistance。ForsomesuchsoundIwasfeverishlylistening。
  Itwas,however,myfather’sruletoclosethehouseatnightfall,andthewindow-
  shuttersbeingfastened,IwasunabletoreconnoitretheavenueasIwouldhavewished。Itwasnearlyoneo’clock,andwebeganalmosttodespairofseeingthemuponthatnight,whenIthoughtIdistinguishedthesoundofwheels,butsoremoteandfaintastomakemeatfirstveryuncertain。Thenoiseapproached;itbecamelouderandclearer;itstoppedforamoment。
  Inowheardtheshrillscreamingoftherustyiron,astheavenue-gaterevolvedonitshinges;againcamethesoundofwheelsinrapidmotion。
  ’Itisthey,’saidI,startingup;’thecarriageisintheavenue。’
  Weallstoodforafewmomentsbreathlesslylistening。Onthunderedthevehiclewiththespeedofawhirlwind;crackwentthewhip,andclatterwentthewheels,asitrattledovertheunevenpavementofthecourt。Ageneralandfuriousbarkingfromallthedogsaboutthehouse,haileditsarrival。
  Wehurriedtothehallintimetohearthestepsletdownwiththesharpclangingnoisepeculiartotheoperation,andthehumofvoicesexertedinthebustleofarrival。
  Thehall-doorwasnowthrownopen,andweallsteppedforthtogreetourvisitors。
  Thecourtwasperfectlyempty;themoonwasshiningbroadlyandbrightlyuponallaround;nothingwastobeseenbutthetalltreeswiththeirlongspectralshadows,nowwetwiththedewsofmidnight。
  Westoodgazingfromrighttoleft,asifsuddenlyawakenedfromadream;thedogswalkedsuspiciously,growlingandsnuffingaboutthecourt,andbytotallyandsuddenlyceasingtheirformerloudbarking,expressingthepredominanceoffear。
  Westaredoneuponanotherinperplexityanddismay,andIthinkIneverbeheldmorepalefacesassembled。Bymyfather’sdirection,welookedabouttofindanythingwhichmightindicateoraccountforthenoisewhichwehadheard;butnosuchthingwastobeseen——eventhemirewhichlayupontheavenuewasundisturbed。
  Wereturnedtothehouse,morepanic-struckthanIcandescribe。
  Onthenextday,welearnedbyamessenger,whohadriddenhardthegreaterpartofthenight,thatmysisterwasdead。
  OnSundayevening,shehadretiredtobedratherunwell,and,onMonday,herindispositiondeclareditselfunequivocallytobemalignantfever。Shebecamehourlyworseand,onTuesdaynight,alittleaftermidnight,sheexpired。[2]
  [2]TheresiduarylegateeofthelateFrancesPurcell,whohasthehonourofselectingsuchofhislamentedoldfriend’smanuscriptsasmayappearfitforpublication,inorderthatthelorewhichtheycontainmayreachtheworldbeforescepticismandutilityhaverobbedourspeciesofthepreciousgiftofcredulity,andscornfullykickedbeforethem,ortrampledintoannihilationthoseharmlessfragmentsofpicturesquesuperstitionwhichitisourobjecttopreserve,hasbeensubjectedtothechargeofdealingtoolargelyinthemarvellous;andithasbeenhalfinsinuatedthatsuchishislovefordiablerie,thatheiscontenttowanderamileoutofhisway,inordertomeetafiendoragoblin,andthustosacrificeallregardfortruthandaccuracytotheidlehopeofaffrightingtheimagination,andthuspanderingtothebadtasteofhisreader。Hebegsleave,then,totakethisopportunityofassertinghisperfectinnocenceofallthecrimeslaidtohischarge,andtoassurehisreaderthatheneverPANDEREDTOHIS
  BADTASTE,norwentoneinchoutofhiswaytointroducewitch,fairy,devil,ghost,oranyotherofthegrimfraternityoftheredoubtedRaw-head-and-bloody-bones。Hisprovince,touchingthesetales,hasbeenattendedwithnodifficultyandlittleresponsibility;indeed,heisaccountablefornothingmorethananalterationinthenamesofpersonsmentionedtherein,whensuchastepseemednecessary,andforanoccasionalnote,wheneverheconceiveditpossible,innocently,toedgeinaword。
  ThesetaleshavebeenWRITTENDOWN,astheheadingofeachannounces,bytheRev。FrancisPurcell,P。P。,ofDrumcoolagh;andinalltheinstances,whicharemany,inwhichthepresentwriterhashadanopportunityofcomparingthemanuscriptofhisdepartedfriendwiththeactualtraditionswhicharecurrentamongstthefamilieswhosefortunestheypretendtoillustrate,hehasuniformlyfoundthatwhateverofsupernaturaloccurredinthestory,sofarfromhavingbeenexaggeratedbyhim,hadbeenrathersofteneddown,and,whereveritcouldbeattempted,accountedfor。
  Imentionthiscircumstance,becauseitwasoneuponwhichathousandwildandfantasticalreportswerefounded,thoughonewouldhavethoughtthatthetruthscarcelyrequiredtobeimprovedupon;
  andagain,becauseitproducedastrongandlastingeffectuponmyspirits,andindeed,Iaminclinedtothink,uponmycharacter。
  Iwas,forseveralyearsafterthisoccurrence,longaftertheviolenceofmygriefsubsided,sowretchedlylow-spiritedandnervous,thatIcouldscarcelybesaidtolive;andduringthistime,habitsofindecision,arisingoutofalistlessacquiescenceinthewillofothers,afearofencounteringeventheslightestopposition,andadispositiontoshrinkfromwhatarecommonlycalledamusements,grewuponmesostrongly,thatIhavescarcelyevenyetaltogetherovercomethem。
  WesawnothingmoreofMr。Carew。
  HereturnedtoEnglandassoonasthemelancholyritesattendantupontheeventwhichIhavejustmentionedwereperformed;
  andnotbeingaltogetherinconsolable,hemarriedagainwithintwoyears;
  afterwhich,owingtotheremotenessofourrelativesituations,andothercircumstances,wegraduallylostsightofhim。
  Iwasnowanonlychild;and,asmyeldersisterhaddiedwithoutissue,itwasevidentthat,intheordinarycourseofthings,myfather’sproperty,whichwasaltogetherinhispower,wouldgotome;
  andtheconsequencewas,thatbeforeIwasfourteen,AshtownHousewasbesiegedbyahostofsuitors。However,whetheritwasthatIwastooyoung,orthatnoneoftheaspirantstomyhandstoodsufficientlyhighinrankorwealth,IwassufferedbybothparentstodoexactlyasIpleased;andwellwasitforme,asIafterwardsfound,thatfortune,orratherProvidence,hadsoordainedit,thatIhadnotsufferedmyaffectionstobecomeinanydegreeengaged,formymotherwouldneverhavesufferedanySILLYFANCYofmine,asshewasinthehabitofstylinganattachment,tostandinthewayofherambitiousviews——
  viewswhichshewasdeterminedtocarryintoeffect,indefianceofeveryobstacle,andinordertoaccomplishwhichshewouldnothavehesitatedtosacrificeanythingsounreasonableandcontemptibleasagirlishpassion。
  WhenIreachedtheageofsixteen,mymother’splansbegantodevelopthem-
  selves;and,athersuggestion,wemovedtoDublintosojournforthewinter,inorderthatnotimemightbelostindisposingofmetothebestadvantage。
  Ihadbeentoolongaccustomedtoconsidermyselfasofnoimportancewhatever,tobelieveforamomentthatIwasinrealitythecauseofallthebustleandpreparationwhichsurroundedme,andbeingthusrelievedfromthepainwhichaconsciousnessofmyrealsituationwouldhaveinflicted,Ijourneyedtowardsthecapitalwithafeelingoftotalindifference。
  Myfather’swealthandconnectionhadestablishedhiminthebestsociety,and,consequently,uponourarrivalinthemetropoliswecommandedwhateverenjoymentoradvantagesitsgaietiesafforded。
  ThetumultandnoveltyofthescenesinwhichIwasinvolveddidnotfailcon-
  siderablytoamuseme,andmymindgraduallyrecovereditstone,whichwasnaturallycheerful。
  ItwasalmostimmediatelyknownandreportedthatIwasanheiress,andofcoursemyattractionswereprettygenerallyacknowledged。
  Amongthemanygentlemenwhomitwasmyfortunetoplease,one,erelong,establishedhimselfinmymother’sgoodgraces,totheexclusionofalllessimportantaspirants。However,Ihadnotunderstoodorevenremarkedhisattentions,norintheslightestdegreesuspectedhisormymother’splansrespectingme,whenI
  wasmadeawareofthemratherabruptlybymymotherherself。
  Wehadattendedasplendidball,givenbyLordM——,athisresidenceinStephen’sGreen,andIwas,withtheassist-
  anceofmywaiting-maid,employedinrapidlydivestingmyselfoftherichornamentswhich,inprofusenessandvalue,couldscarcelyhavefoundtheirequalsinanyprivatefamilyinIreland。
  Ihadthrownmyselfintoalounging-
  chairbesidethefire,listlessandexhausted,afterthefatiguesoftheevening,whenI
  wasarousedfromthereverieintowhichI
  hadfallenbythesoundoffootstepsapproachingmychamber,andmymotherentered。
  ’Fanny,mydear,’saidshe,inhersoftesttone,’IwishtosayawordortwowithyoubeforeIgotorest。Youarenotfatigued,love,Ihope?’
  ’No,no,madam,Ithankyou,’saidI,risingatthesametimefrommyseat,withtheformalrespectsolittlepractisednow。
  ’Sitdown,mydear,’saidshe,placingherselfuponachairbesideme;’Imustchatwithyouforaquarterofanhourorso。
  Saunders’tothemaid’youmayleavetheroom;donotclosetheroom-door,butshutthatofthelobby。’
  Thisprecautionagainstcuriousearshavingbeentakenasdirected,mymotherproceeded。
  ’Youhaveobserved,Ishouldsuppose,mydearestFanny——indeed,youMUSThaveobservedLordGlenfallen’smarkedattentionstoyou?’
  ’Iassureyou,madam——’Ibegan。
  ’Well,well,thatisallright,’interruptedmymother;’ofcourseyoumustbemodestuponthematter;butlistentomeforafewmoments,mylove,andIwillprovetoyoursatisfactionthatyourmodestyisquiteunnecessaryinthiscase。Youhavedonebetterthanwecouldhavehoped,atleastsoverysoon。LordGlenfallenisinlovewithyou。Igiveyoujoyofyourconquest;’andsayingthis,mymotherkissedmyforehead。
  ’Inlovewithme!’Iexclaimed,inunfeignedastonishment。
  ’Yes,inlovewithyou,’repeatedmymother;’devotedly,distractedlyinlovewithyou。Why,mydear,whatistherewonderfulinit?Lookintheglass,andlookatthese,’shecontinued,pointingwithasmiletothejewelswhichIhadjustremovedfrommyperson,andwhichnowlayaglitteringheapuponthetable。
  ’Maytherenot,’saidI,hesitatingbetweenconfusionandrealalarm——’isitnotpossiblethatsomemistakemaybeatthebottomofallthis?’
  ’Mistake,dearest!none,’saidmymother。’None;noneintheworld。Judgeforyourself;readthis,mylove。’Andsheplacedinmyhandaletter,addressedtoherself,thesealofwhichwasbroken。I
  readitthroughwithnosmallsurprise。
  Aftersomeveryfinecomplimentaryflourishesuponmybeautyandperfections,asalsoupontheantiquityandhighreputationofourfamily,itwentontomakeaformalproposalofmarriage,tobecommunicatedornottomeatpresent,asmymothershoulddeemexpedient;andtheletterwoundupbyarequestthatthewritermightbepermitted,uponourreturntoAshtownHouse,whichwassoontotakeplace,asthespringwasnowtolerablyadvanced,tovisitusforafewdays,incasehissuitwasapproved。
  ’Well,well,mydear,’saidmymother,impatiently;’doyouknowwhoLordGlenfallenis?’
  ’Ido,madam,’saidIrathertimidly,forIdreadedanaltercationwithmymother。