首页 >出版文学> Letters on Literature>第20章
  Rememberthisdaymonth——notonewordsooner。’
  Hethenrose,andIlefttheroom,muchagitatedandexhausted。
  Thisinterview,allthecircumstancesattendingit,butmostparticularlytheformidableexpressionofmyuncle’scountenancewhilehetalked,thoughhypothetically,ofmurder,combinedtoarouseallmyworstsuspicionsofhim。Idreadedtolookuponthefacethathadsorecentlyworntheappallingliveryofguiltandmalignity。Iregardeditwiththemingledfearandloathingwithwhichonelooksuponanobjectwhichhastorturedtheminanightmare。
  Inafewdaysaftertheinterview,theparticularsofwhichIhavejustrelated,I
  foundanoteuponmytoilet-table,andonopeningitIreadasfollows:
  ’MYDEARLADYMARGARET,’Youwillbeperhapssurprisedtoseeastrangefaceinyourroomto-day。I
  havedismissedyourIrishmaid,andsecuredaFrenchonetowaituponyou——asteprenderednecessarybymyproposingshortlytovisittheContinent,withallmyfamily。
  ’Yourfaithfulguardian,’ARTHURT——N。’
  Oninquiry,Ifoundthatmyfaithfulattendantwasactuallygone,andfaronherwaytothetownofGalway;andinhersteadthereappearedatall,raw-boned,ill-looking,elderlyFrenchwoman,whosesullenandpresumingmannersseemedtoimplythathervocationhadneverbeforebeenthatofalady’s-maid。Icouldnothelpregardingherasacreatureofmyuncle’s,andthereforetobedreaded,evenhadshebeeninnootherwaysuspicious。
  Daysandweekspassedawaywithoutany,evenamomentarydoubtuponmypart,astothecoursetobepursuedbyme。
  Theallottedperiodhadatlengthelapsed;
  thedayarrivedonwhichIwastocommunicatemydecisiontomyuncle。
  Althoughmyresolutionhadneverforamomentwavered,Icouldnotshakeofthedreadoftheapproachingcolloquy;
  andmyheartsunkwithinmeasIheardtheexpectedsummons。
  IhadnotseenmycousinEdwardsincetheoccurrenceofthegrandeclaircissment;
  hemusthavestudiouslyavoidedme——Isupposefrompolicy,itcouldnothavebeenfromdelicacy。Iwaspreparedforaterrificburstoffuryfrommyuncle,assoonasIshouldmakeknownmydetermination;andInotunreasonablyfearedthatsomeactofviolenceorofintimidationwouldnextberesortedto。
  Filledwiththesedrearyforebodings,I
  fearfullyopenedthestudydoor,andthenextminuteIstoodinmyuncle’spresence。HereceivedmewithapolitenesswhichIdreaded,asarguingafavourableanticipationrespectingtheanswerwhichIwastogive;andaftersomeslightdelay,hebeganbysaying:
  ’Itwillbearelieftobothofus,I
  believe,tobringthisconversationassoonaspossibletoanissue。Youwillexcuseme,then,mydearniece,forspeakingwithanabruptnesswhich,underothercircumstances,wouldbeunpardonable。Youhave,Iamcertain,giventhesubjectofourlastinterviewfairandseriouscon-
  sideration;andItrustthatyouarenowpreparedwithcandourtolayyouranswerbeforeme。Afewwordswillsuffice——weperfectlyunderstandoneanother。’
  Hepaused,andI,thoughfeelingthatI
  stooduponaminewhichmightinaninstantexplode,neverthelessansweredwithperfectcomposure:
  ’Imustnow,sir,makethesamereplywhichIdiduponthelastoccasion,andI
  reiteratethedeclarationwhichIthenmade,thatInevercannorwill,whilelifeandreasonremain,consenttoaunionwithmycousinEdward。’
  ThisannouncementwroughtnoapparentchangeinSirArthur,exceptthathebecamedeadly,almostlividlypale。Heseemedlostindarkthoughtforaminute,andthenwithaslighteffortsaid:
  ’Youhaveansweredmehonestlyanddirectly;andyousayyourresolutionisunchangeable。Well,wouldithadbeenotherwise——wouldithadbeenotherwise——
  butbeitasitis——Iamsatisfied。’
  Hegavemehishand——itwascoldanddampasdeath;underanassumedcalmness,itwasevidentthathewasfearfullyagitated。Hecontinuedtoholdmyhandwithanalmostpainfulpressure,while,asifunconsciously,seemingtoforgetmypresence,hemuttered:
  ’Strange,strange,strange,indeed!
  fatuity,helplessfatuity!’therewasherealongpause。’MadnessINDEEDtostrainacablethatisrottentotheveryheart——itmustbreak——andthen——allgoes。’
  Therewasagainapauseofsomeminutes,afterwhich,suddenlychanginghisvoiceandmannertooneofwakefulalacrity,heexclaimed:
  ’Margaret,mysonEdwardshallplagueyounomore。Heleavesthiscountryonto-morrowforFrance——heshallspeaknomoreuponthissubject——never,nevermore——whatevereventsdependeduponyouranswermustnowtaketheirowncourse;but,asforthisfruitlessproposal,ithasbeentriedenough;itcanberepeatednomore。’
  Atthesewordshecoldlysufferedmyhandtodrop,asiftoexpresshistotalabandonmentofallhisprojectedschemesofalliance;andcertainlytheaction,withtheaccompanyingwords,produceduponmymindamoresolemnanddepressingeffectthanIbelievedpossibletohavebeencausedbythecoursewhichIhaddeterminedtopursue;itstruckuponmyheartwithanaweandheavinesswhichWILLaccompanytheaccomplishmentofanimportantandirrevocableact,eventhoughnodoubtorscrupleremainstomakeitpossiblethattheagentshouldwishitundone。
  ’Well,’saidmyuncle,afteralittletime,’wenowceasetospeakuponthistopic,nevertoresumeitagain。RememberyoushallhavenofartheruneasinessfromEdward;heleavesIrelandforFranceonto-morrow;thiswillbearelieftoyou。
  MayIdependuponyourHONOURthatnowordtouchingthesubjectofthisinterviewshalleverescapeyou?’
  Igavehimthedesiredassurance;hesaid:
  ’Itiswell——Iamsatisfied——wehavenothingmore,Ibelieve,tosayuponeitherside,andmypresencemustbearestraintuponyou,Ishallthereforebidyoufarewell。’
  Ithenlefttheapartment,scarcelyknowingwhattothinkofthestrangeinterviewwhichhadjusttakenplace。
  OnthenextdaymyuncletookoccasiontotellmethatEdwardhadactuallysailed,ifhisintentionhadnotbeeninterferedwithbyadversecircumstances;andtwodayssubsequentlyheactuallyproducedaletterfromhisson,written,asitsaid,ONBOARD,anddespatchedwhiletheshipwasgettingunderweigh。Thiswasagreatsatisfactiontome,andasbeinglikelytoproveso,itwasnodoubtcommunicatedtomebySirArthur。
  Duringallthistryingperiod,IhadfoundinfiniteconsolationinthesocietyandsympathyofmydearcousinEmily。
  Ineverinafter-lifeformedafriendshipsoclose,sofervent,anduponwhich,inallitsprogress,Icouldlookbackwithfeelingsofsuchunalloyedpleasure,uponwhoseterminationImusteverdwellwithsodeep,yetsounembitteredregret。IncheerfulconversewithherIsoonrecoveredmyspiritsconsiderably,andpassedmytimeagreeablyenough,althoughstillinthestrictestseclusion。
  Matterswentonsufficientlysmooth,althoughIcouldnothelpsometimesfeelingamomentary,buthorribleuncertaintyrespectingmyuncle’scharacter;
  whichwasnotaltogetherunwarrantedbythecircumstancesofthetwotryinginterviewswhoseparticularsIhavejustdetailed。Theunpleasantimpressionwhichtheseconferenceswerecalculatedtoleaveuponmymind,wasfastwearingaway,whenthereoccurredacircumstance,slightindeedinitself,butcalculatedirresistiblytoawakenallmyworstsuspicions,andtooverwhelmmeagainwithanxietyandterror。
  IhadonedayleftthehousewithmycousinEmily,inordertotakearambleofconsiderablelength,forthepurposeofsketchingsomefavouriteviews,andwehadwalkedabouthalfamilewhenI
  perceivedthatwehadforgottenourdrawingmaterials,theabsenceofwhichwouldhavedefeatedtheobjectofourwalk。Laughingatourownthoughtlessness,wereturnedtothehouse,andleavingEmilywithout,I
  ranupstairstoprocurethedrawing-booksandpencils,whichlayinmybedroom。
  AsIranupthestairsIwasmetbythetall,ill-lookingFrenchwoman,evidentlyagooddealflurried。
  ’Queveut,madame?’saidshe,withamoredecidedefforttobepolitethanIhadeverknownhermakebefore。
  ’No,no——nomatter,’saidI,hastilyrunningbyherinthedirectionofmyroom。
  ’Madame,’criedshe,inahighkey,’restezici,s’ilvousplait;votrechambren’estpasfaite——yourroomisnotreadyforyourreceptionyet。’
  Icontinuedtomoveonwithoutheedingher。Shewassomewaybehindme,andfeelingthatshecouldnototherwisepreventmyentrance,forIwasnowupontheverylobby,shemadeadesperateattempttoseizeholdofmyperson:shesucceededingraspingtheendofmyshawl,whichshedrewfrommyshoulders;butslippingatthesametimeuponthepolishedoakfloor,shefellatfulllengthupontheboards。
  Alittlefrightenedaswellasangryattherudenessofthisstrangewoman,I
  hastilypushedopenthedoorofmyroom,atwhichInowstood,inordertoescapefromher;butgreatwasmyamazementonenteringtofindtheapartmentpreoccupied。
  Thewindowwasopen,andbesideitstoodtwomalefigures;theyappearedtobeexaminingthefasteningsofthecasement,andtheirbackswereturnedtowardsthedoor。Oneofthemwasmyuncle;
  theybothturnedonmyentrance,asifstartled。Thestrangerwasbootedandcloaked,andworeaheavybroad-leafedhatoverhisbrows。Heturnedbutforamoment,andavertedhisface;butIhadseenenoughtoconvincemethathewasnootherthanmycousinEdward。Myunclehadsomeironinstrumentinhishand,whichhehastilyconcealedbehindhisback;
  andcomingtowardsme,saidsomethingasifinanexplanatorytone;butIwastoomuchshockedandconfoundedtounderstandwhatitmightbe。Hesaidsomethingabout’REPAIRS——window——frames——
  cold,andsafety。’
  Ididnotwait,however,toaskortoreceiveexplanations,buthastilylefttheroom。AsIwentdownthestairsI
  thoughtIheardthevoiceoftheFrenchwomaninalltheshrillvolubilityofexcuse,whichwasmet,however,bysuppressedbutvehementimprecations,orwhatseemedtometobesuch,inwhichthevoiceofmycousinEdwarddistinctlymingled。
  IjoinedmycousinEmilyquiteoutofbreath。Ineednotsaythatmyheadwastoofullofotherthingstothinkmuchofdrawingforthatday。Iimpartedtoherfranklythecauseofmyalarms,butatthesametimeasgentlyasIcould;andwithtearsshepromisedvigilance,anddevotion,andlove。IneverhadreasonforamomenttorepenttheunreservedconfidencewhichIthenreposedinher。ShewasnolesssurprisedthanIattheunexpectedappearanceofEdward,whosedepartureforFranceneitherofushadforamomentdoubted,butwhichwasnowprovedbyhisactualpresencetobenothingmorethananimposture,practised,Ifeared,fornogoodend。
  ThesituationinwhichIhadfoundmyunclehadremovedcompletelyallmydoubtsastohisdesigns。Imagnifiedsuspicionsintocertainties,anddreadednightafternightthatIshouldbemurderedinmybed。Thenervousnessproducedbysleeplessnightsanddaysofanxiousfearsincreasedthehorrorsofmysituationtosuchadegree,thatIatlengthwrotealettertoaMr。Jefferies,anoldandfaithfulfriendofmyfather’s,andperfectlyacquaintedwithallhisaffairs,prayinghim,forGod’ssake,torelievemefrommypresentterriblesituation,andcommunicatingwithoutreservethenatureandgroundsofmysuspicions。
  ThisletterIkeptsealedanddirectedfortwoorthreedaysalwaysaboutmyperson,fordiscoverywouldhavebeenruinous,inexpectationofanopportunitywhichmightbesafelytrusted,wherebytohaveitplacedinthepost-office。AsneitherEmilynorIwerepermittedtopassbeyondtheprecinctsofthedemesneitself,whichwassurroundedbyhighwallsformedofdrystone,thedifficultyofprocuringsuchanopportunitywasgreatlyenhanced。
  AtthistimeEmilyhadashortconver-
  sationwithherfather,whichshereportedtomeinstantly。
  Aftersomeindifferentmatter,hehadaskedherwhethersheandIwereupongoodterms,andwhetherIwasunreservedinmydisposition。Sheansweredintheaffirmative;andhetheninquiredwhetherIhadbeenmuchsurprisedtofindhiminmychamberontheotherday。SheansweredthatIhadbeenbothsurprisedandamused。
  ’AndwhatdidshethinkofGeorgeWilson’sappearance?’
  ’Who?’inquiredshe。
  ’Oh,thearchitect,’heanswered,’whoistocontractfortherepairsofthehouse;
  heisaccountedahandsomefellow。’