首页 >出版文学> Letters on Literature>第19章
  HethenproceededtoreadachapterfromtheBible;afterwhichhetookhisleavewiththesameaffectionatekindnesswithwhichhehadgreetedme,havingrepeatedhisdesirethatIshouldconsidereverythinginhishouseasaltogetheratmydisposal。ItisneedlesstosaythatI
  wasmuchpleasedwithmyuncle——itwasimpossibletoavoidbeingso;andIcouldnothelpsayingtomyself,ifsuchamanasthisisnotsafefromtheassaultsofslander,whois?IfeltmuchhappierthanIhaddonesincemyfather’sdeath,andenjoyedthatnightthefirstrefreshingsleepwhichhadvisitedmesincethatevent。
  Mycuriosityrespectingmymalecousindidnotlongremainunsatisfied——heappearedthenextdayatdinner。Hismanners,thoughnotsocoarseasIhadexpected,wereexceedinglydisagreeable;
  therewasanassuranceandaforwardnessforwhichIwasnotprepared;therewaslessofthevulgarityofmanner,andalmostmoreofthatofthemind,thanI
  hadanticipated。Ifeltquiteuncomfortableinhispresence;therewasjustthatconfidenceinhislookandtonewhichwouldreadencouragementeveninmeretoleration;andIfeltmoredisgustedandannoyedatthecoarseandextravagantcomplimentswhichhewaspleasedfromtimetotimetopayme,thanperhapstheextentoftheatrocitymightfullyhavewarranted。Itwas,however,oneconsolationthathedidnotoftenappear,beingmuchengrossedbypursuitsaboutwhichI
  neitherknewnorcaredanything;butwhenhedidappear,hisattentions,eitherwithaviewtohisamusementortosomemoreseriousadvantage,weresoobviouslyandperseveringlydirectedtome,thatyoungandinexperiencedasIwas,even_I_
  couldnotbeignorantofhispreference。I
  feltmoreprovokedbythisodiouspersecutionthanIcanexpress,anddiscouragedhimwithsomuchvigour,thatIemployedevenrudenesstoconvincehimthathisassiduitieswereunwelcome;butallinvain。
  Thishadgoneonfornearlyatwelve-
  month,tomyinfiniteannoyance,whenonedayasIwassittingatsomeneedle-workwithmycompanionEmily,aswasmyhabit,intheparlour,thedooropened,andmycousinEdwardenteredtheroom。
  Therewassomething,Ithought,oddinhismanner——akindofstrugglebetweenshameandimpudence——akindofflurryandambiguitywhichmadehimappear,ifpossible,morethanordinarilydisagreeable。
  ’Yourservant,ladies,’hesaid,seatinghimselfatthesametime;’sorrytospoilyourtete-a-tete,butnevermind,I’llonlytakeEmily’splaceforaminuteortwo;
  andthenwepartforawhile,faircousin。
  Emily,myfatherwantsyouinthecornerturret。Noshilly-shally;he’sinahurry。’
  Shehesitated。’Beoff——tramp,march!’
  heexclaimed,inatonewhichthepoorgirldarednotdisobey。
  Shelefttheroom,andEdwardfollowedhertothedoor。Hestoodthereforaminuteortwo,asifreflectingwhatheshouldsay,perhapssatisfyinghimselfthatnoonewaswithinhearinginthehall。
  Atlengthheturnedabout,havingclosedthedoor,asifcarelessly,withhisfoot;andadvancingslowly,asifindeepthought,hetookhisseatatthesideofthetableoppositetomine。
  Therewasabriefintervalofsilence,afterwhichhesaid:
  ’Iimaginethatyouhaveashrewdsuspicionoftheobjectofmyearlyvisit;butIsupposeImustgointoparticulars。
  MustI?’
  ’Ihavenoconception,’Ireplied,’whatyourobjectmaybe。’
  ’Well,well,’saidhe,becomingmoreathiseaseasheproceeded,’itmaybetoldinafewwords。Youknowthatitistotallyimpossible——quiteoutofthequestion——
  thatanoffhandyoungfellowlikeme,andagood-lookinggirllikeyourself,couldmeetcontinually,asyouandIhavedone,withoutanattachment——alikinggrowingupononesideorother;inshort,IthinkIhaveletyouknowasplainasifIspokeit,thatIhavebeeninlovewithyoualmostfromthefirsttimeIsawyou。’
  Hepaused;butIwastoomuchhorrifiedtospeak。Heinterpretedmysilencefavourably。
  ’Icantellyou,’hecontinued,’I’mreckonedratherhardtoplease,andveryhardtoHIT。Ican’tsaywhenIwastakenwithagirlbefore;soyouseefortunereservedme——’
  Heretheodiouswretchwoundhisarmroundmywaist。Theactionatoncerestoredmetoutterance,andwiththemostindignantvehemenceIreleasedmyselffromhishold,andatthesametimesaid:
  ’Ihavenotbeeninsensible,sir,ofyourmostdisagreeableattentions——theyhavelongbeenasourceofmuchannoyancetome;andyoumustbeawarethatIhavemarkedmydisapprobation——mydisgust——
  asunequivocallyasIpossiblycould,withoutactualindelicacy。’
  Ipaused,almostoutofbreathfromtherapiditywithwhichIhadspoken;andwithoutgivinghimtimetorenewtheconversation,Ihastilyquittedtheroom,leavinghiminaparoxysmofrageandmortification。AsIascendedthestairs,Iheardhimopentheparlour-doorwithviolence,andtaketwoorthreerapidstridesinthedirectioninwhichIwasmoving。I
  wasnowmuchfrightened,andranthewholewayuntilIreachedmyroom;andhavinglockedthedoor,Ilistenedbreathlessly,butheardnosound。Thisrelievedmeforthepresent;butsomuchhadI
  beenovercomebytheagitationandannoyanceattendantuponthescenewhichIhadjustgonethrough,thatwhenmycousinEmilyknockedatmydoor,Iwasweepinginstronghysterics。
  Youwillreadilyconceivemydistress,whenyoureflectuponmystrongdisliketomycousinEdward,combinedwithmyyouthandextremeinexperience。Anyproposalofsuchanaturemusthaveagitatedme;butthatitshouldhavecomefromthemanwhomofallothersImostloathedandabhorred,andtowhomIhad,asclearlyasmannercoulddoit,expressedthestateofmyfeelings,wasalmosttoooverwhelmingtobeborne。Itwasacalamity,too,inwhichIcouldnotclaimthesym-
  pathyofmycousinEmily,whichhadalwaysbeenextendedtomeinmyminorgrievances。StillIhopedthatitmightnotbeunattendedwithgood;forI
  thoughtthatoneinevitableandmostwelcomeconsequencewouldresultfromthispainfuleclaircissment,inthediscontinuanceofmycousin’sodiouspersecution。
  WhenIarosenextmorning,itwaswiththeferventhopethatImightneveragainbeholdtheface,orevenhearthename,ofmycousinEdward;butsuchaconsummation,thoughdevoutlytobewished,washardlylikelytooccur。Thepainfulimpressionsofyesterdayweretoovividtobeatonceerased;andIcouldnothelpfeelingsomedimforebodingofcomingannoyanceandevil。
  Toexpectonmycousin’spartanythinglikedelicacyorconsiderationforme,wasoutofthequestion。Isawthathehadsethisheartuponmyproperty,andthathewasnotlikelyeasilytoforegosuchanacquisition——possessingwhatmighthavebeenconsideredopportunitiesandfacilitiesalmosttocompelmycompliance。
  Inowkeenlyfelttheunreasonablenessofmyfather’sconductinplacingmetoresidewithafamilyofallwhosemembers,withoneexception,hewaswhollyignorant,andIbitterlyfeltthehelplessnessofmysituation。Idetermined,however,incaseofmycousin’sperseveringinhisaddresses,tolayalltheparticularsbeforemyuncle,althoughhehadneverinkindnessorintimacygoneastepbeyondourfirstinterview,andtothrowmyselfuponhishospitalityandhissenseofhonourforprotectionagainstarepetitionofsuchscenes。
  Mycousin’sconductmayappeartohavebeenaninadequatecauseforsuchseriousuneasiness;butmyalarmwascausedneitherbyhisactsnorwords,butentirelybyhismanner,whichwasstrangeandevenintimidatingtoexcess。Atthebeginningoftheyesterday’sinterviewtherewasasortofbullyingswaggerinhisair,whichtowardstheendgaveplacetothebrutalvehemenceofanundisguisedruffian——atransitionwhichhadtemptedmeintoabeliefthathemightseekevenforciblytoextortfrommeaconsenttohiswishes,orbymeansstillmorehorrible,ofwhichI
  scarcelydaredtotrustmyselftothink,topossesshimselfofmyproperty。
  Iwasearlynextdaysummonedtoattendmyuncleinhisprivateroom,whichlayinacornerturretoftheoldbuilding;andthitherIaccordinglywent,wonderingallthewaywhatthisunusualmeasuremightprelude。WhenIenteredtheroom,hedidnotriseinhisusualcourteouswaytogreetme,butsimplypointedtoachairoppositetohisown。Thisbodednothingagreeable。Isatdown,however,silentlywaitinguntilheshouldopentheconversation。
  ’LadyMargaret,’atlengthhesaid,inatoneofgreatersternnessthanIthoughthimcapableofusing,’Ihavehithertospokentoyouasafriend,butIhavenotforgottenthatIamalsoyourguardian,andthatmyauthorityassuchgivesmearighttocontrolyourconduct。Ishallputaquestiontoyou,andIexpectandwilldemandaplain,directanswer。HaveIrightlybeeninformedthatyouhavecon-
  temptuouslyrejectedthesuitandhandofmysonEdward?’
  Istammeredforthwithagooddealoftrepidation:
  ’Ibelieve——thatis,Ihave,sir,rejectedmycousin’sproposals;andmycoldnessanddiscouragementmighthaveconvincedhimthatIhaddeterminedtodoso。’
  ’Madam,’repliedhe,withsuppressed,but,asitappearedtome,intenseanger,’IhavelivedlongenoughtoknowthatCOLDNESSanddiscouragement,andsuchterms,formthecommoncantofaworthlesscoquette。Youknowtothefull,aswellasI,thatCOLDNESSANDDISCOURAGEMENT
  maybesoexhibitedastoconvincetheirobjectthatheisneitherdistastefulorindifferenttothepersonwhowearsthismanner。Youknow,too,nonebetter,thatanaffectedneglect,whenskilfullymanaged,isamongstthemostformidableoftheengineswhichartfulbeautycanemploy。
  Itellyou,madam,thathaving,withoutonewordspokenindiscouragement,permittedmyson’smostmarkedattentionsforatwelvemonthormore,youhavenorighttodismisshimwithnofurtherexplanationthandemurelytellinghimthatyouhadalwayslookedcoldlyuponhim;
  andneitheryourwealthnoryourLADYSHIP’
  therewasanemphasisofscornontheword,whichwouldhavebecomeSirGilesOverreachhimself’canwarrantyouintreatingwithcontempttheaffectionateregardofanhonestheart。’
  Iwastoomuchshockedatthisundisguisedattempttobullymeintoanacquiescenceintheinterestedandunprincipledplanfortheirownaggrandisement,whichInowperceivedmyuncleandhissontohavedeliberatelyenteredinto,atoncetofindstrengthorcollectednesstoframeananswertowhathehadsaid。AtlengthI
  replied,withsomefirmness:
  ’Inallthatyouhavejustnowsaid,sir,youhavegrosslymisstatedmyconductandmotives。Yourinformationmusthavebeenmostincorrectasfarasitregardsmyconducttowardsmycousin;mymannertowardshimcouldhaveconveyednothingbutdislike;andifanythingcouldhaveaddedtothestrongaversionwhichI
  havelongfelttowardshim,itwouldbehisattemptingthustotrickandfrightenmeintoamarriagewhichheknowstoberevoltingtome,andwhichissoughtbyhimonlyasameansforsecuringtohimselfwhateverpropertyismine。’
  AsIsaidthis,Ifixedmyeyesuponthoseofmyuncle,buthewastoooldintheworld’swaystofalterbeneaththegazeofmoresearchingeyesthanmine;hesimplysaid:
  ’Areyouacquaintedwiththeprovisionsofyourfather’swill?’
  Iansweredintheaffirmative;andhecontinued:
  ’ThenyoumustbeawarethatifmysonEdwardwere——whichGodforbid——theunprincipled,recklessmanyoupretendtothinkhim’——herehespokeveryslowly,asifheintendedthateverywordwhichescapedhimshouldberegisteredinmymemory,whileatthesametimetheexpressionofhiscountenanceunderwentagradualbuthorriblechange,andtheeyeswhichhefixeduponmebecamesodarklyvivid,thatIalmostlostsightofeverythingelse——’ifhewerewhatyouhavedescribedhim,thinkyou,girl,hecouldfindnobriefermeansthanweddingcontractstogainhisends?’twasbuttogripeyourslenderneckuntilthebreathhadstopped,andlands,andlakes,andallwerehis。’
  Istoodstaringathimformanyminutesafterhehadceasedtospeak,fascinatedbytheterribleserpent-likegaze,untilhecontinuedwithawelcomechangeofcountenance:
  ’Iwillnotspeakagaintoyouuponthis——topicuntilonemonthhaspassed。Youshallhavetimetoconsidertherelativeadvantagesofthetwocourseswhichareopentoyou。Ishouldbesorrytohurryyoutoadecision。Iamsatisfiedwithhavingstatedmyfeelingsuponthesubject,andpointedouttoyouthepathofduty。