首页 >出版文学> Letters of Two Brides>第17章
  “MydearFelipe,“Isaid,“Youhaveacquittedyourselfwellto-night;
  youbehavedexactlyasIshouldhavedonehadIbeentoldthatyouwereonthepointofmarrying。“
  “Ithought,“hereplied,“thatyouwouldhardlyhavetoldothersbeforeme。“
  “Andwhatrighthaveyoutothisprivilege?“
  “Therightofonewhoisyourdevotedslave。“
  “Inverytruth?“
  “Iam,andshalleverremainso。“
  “Butsupposethismarriagewasinevitable;supposethatIhadagreed……“
  Twoflashingglanceslitupthemoonlight——onedirectedtome,theothertotheprecipicewhichthewallmadeforus。Heseemedtocalculatewhetherafalltogetherwouldmeandeath;butthethoughtmerelypassedlikelightningoverhisfaceandsparkledinhiseyes。A
  power,strongerthanpassion,checkedtheimpulse。
  “AnArabcannottakebackhisword,“hesaidinahuskyvoice。“Iamyourslavetodowithasyouwill;mylifeisnotminetodestroy。“
  Thehandonthebalconyseemedasthoughitsholdwererelaxing。I
  placedmineonitasIsaid:
  “Felipe,mybeloved,fromthismomentIamyourwifeinthoughtandwill。Gointhemorningtoaskmyfatherformyhand。Hewishestoretainmyfortune;butifyoupromisetoacknowledgereceiptofitinthecontract,hisconsentwillnodoubtbegiven。IamnolongerArmandedeChaulieu。Leavemeatonce;nobreathofscandalmusttouchLouisedeMacumer。“
  Helistenedwithblanchedfaceandtremblinglimbs,then,likeaflash,hadclearedthetenfeettothegroundinsafety。Itwasamomentofagony,buthewavedhishandtomeanddisappeared。
  “Iamlovedthen,“Isaidtomyself,“asneverwomanwasbefore。“AndIfellasleepinthecalmcontentofachild,mydestinyforeverfixed。
  Abouttwoo’clocknextdaymyfathersummonedmetohisprivateroom,whereIfoundtheDuchessandMacumer。Therewasaninterchangeofcivilities。IrepliedquitesimplythatifmyfatherandM。Henarezwereofonemind,Ihadnoreasontoopposetheirwishes。ThereuponmymotherinvitedtheBarontodinner;andafterdinner,weallfourwentforadriveintheBoisdeBoulogne,whereIhadthepleasureofsmilingironicallytoM。deMarsayashepassedonhorsebackandcaughtsightofMacumersittingoppositetousbesidemyfather。
  MybewitchingFelipehashadhiscardsreprintedasfollows:
  HENAREZ
  BarondeMacumer,formerlyDucdeSoria。
  Everymorninghebringsmewithhisownhandsasplendidbouquet,hiddeninwhichIneverfailtofindaletter,containingaSpanishsonnetinmyhonor,whichhehascomposedduringthenight。
  Nottomakethisletterinordinatelylarge,Isendyouasspecimensonlythefirstandlastofthesesonnets,whichIhavetranslatedforyourbenefit,wordforword,andlineforline:——
  FIRSTSONNET
  ManyatimeI’vestood,cladinthinsilkenvest,Drawnswordinhand,withsteadypulse,Waitingthechargeofaragingbull,Andthethrustofhishorn,sharper-pointedthanPhoebe’screscent。
  I’vescaled,onmylipstheliltofanAndalusiandance,Thesteepredoubtunderarainoffire;
  I’vestakedmylifeuponahazardofthediceCareless,asthoughitwereagolddoubloon。
  Myhandwouldseektheballoutofthecannon’smouth,ButnowmeseemsIgrowmoretimidthanacrouchinghair,Orachildspyingsomeghostinthecurtain’sfolds。
  Forwhenyoursweeteyerestsonme,Anyicysweatcoversmybrow,mykneesgiveway,Itremble,shrink,mycouragegone。
  SECONDSONNET
  LastnightIfainwouldsleeptodreamofthee,Butjealoussleepfledmyeyelids,Isoughtthebalconyandlookedtowardsheaven,AlwaysmyglancefliesupwardwhenIthinkofthee。
  Strangesight!whosemeaninglovealonecantell,Theskyhadlostitssapphirehue,Thestars,dulleddiamondsintheirgoldenmount,Twinklednomorenorshedtheirwarmth。
  Themoon,washedofhersilverradiancelily-white,Hungmourningoverthegloomyplain,forthouhastrobbedTheheavensofallthatmadethembright。
  Thesnowysparkleofthemoonisonthylovelybrow,Heaven’sazurecentresinthineeyes,Thylashesfalllikestarryrays。
  Whatmoregraciouswayofsayingtoayounggirlthatshefillsyourlife?Tellmewhatyouthinkofthislove,whichexpendsitselfinlavishingthetreasuresalikeoftheearthandofthesoul。OnlywithinthelasttendayshaveIgraspedthemeaningofthatSpanishgallantry,sofamousinolddays。
  Ahme!dear,whatisgoingonnowatLaCrampade?HowoftendoItakeastrollthere,inspectingthegrowthofourcrops!Haveyounonewstogiveofourmulberrytrees,ourlastwinter’splantations?Doeseverythingprosperasyouwish?Andwhilethebudsareopeningonourshrubs——Iwillnotventuretospeakofthebedding-outplants——havetheyalsoblossomedinthebosomofthewife?DoesLouiscontinuehispolicyofmadrigals?Doyouenterintoeachother’sthoughts?Iwonderwhetheryourlittlerunletofweddingpeaceisbetterthantheragingtorrentofmylove!Hasmysweetladyprofessortakenoffence?I
  cannotbelieveit;andifitwereso,IshouldsendFelipeoffatonce,post-haste,toflinghimselfatherkneesandbringbacktomemypardonorherhead。Sweetlove,mylifehereisasplendidsuccess,andIwanttoknowhowitfareswithlifeinProvence。WehavejustincreasedourfamilybytheadditionofaSpaniardwiththecomplexionofaHavanacigar,andyourcongratulationsstilltarry。
  Seriously,mysweetRenee,Iamanxious。Iamafraidlestyoushouldbeeatingyourheartoutinsilence,forfearofcastingagloomovermysunshine。Writetomeatonce,naughtychild!andtellmeyourlifeinitseveryminutestdetail;tellmewhetheryoustillholdback,whetheryour“independence“stillstandserect,orhasfallenonitsknees,orissittingdowncomfortably,whichwouldindeedbeserious。
  Canyousupposethattheincidentsofyourmarriedlifearewithoutinterestforme?Imuseattimesoverallthatyouhavesaidtome。
  Oftenwhen,attheOpera,Iseemabsorbedinwatchingthepirouettingdancers,Iamsayingtomyself,“Itishalf-pastnine,perhapssheisinbed。Whatissheabout?Isshehappy?Isshealonewithherindependence?orhasherindependencegonethewayofotherdeadandcastoffindependences?“
  Athousandloves。
  XXV
  RENEEDEL’ESTORADETOLOUISEDECHAULIEU
  Saucygirl!WhyshouldIwrite?WhatcouldIsay?Whilstyourlifeisvariedbysocialfestivities,aswellasbytheanguish,thetempers,andtheflowersoflove——allofwhichyoudescribesographically,thatImightbewatchingsomefirst-rateactingatthetheatre——mineisasmonotonousandregularasthoughitwerepassedinaconvent。
  Wealwaysgotobedatnineandgetupwithdaybreak。Ourmealsareservedwithamaddeningpunctuality。Nothingeverhappens。Ihaveaccustomedmyselfwithoutmuchdifficultytothismappingoutoftheday,whichperhapsis,afterall,inthenatureofthings。Wherewouldthelifeoftheuniversebebutforthatsubjectiontofixedlawswhich,accordingtotheastronomers,soLouistellsme,rulethespheres!Itisnotorderofwhichweweary。
  ThenIhavelaiduponmyselfcertainrulesofdress,andtheseoccupymytimeinthemornings。Iholditpartofmydutyasawifetolookascharmingaspossible。Ifeelacertainsatisfactioninit,anditcauseslivelypleasuretothegoodoldmanandtoLouis。Afterlunch,wewalk。Whenthenewspapersarrive,Idisappeartolookaftermyhouseholdaffairsortoread——forIreadagreatdeal——ortowritetoyou。Icomebacktotheothersanhourbeforedinner;andafterdinnerweplaycards,orreceivevisits,orpaythem。Thusmydayspassbetweenacontentedoldman,whohasdonewithpassions,andthemanwhooweshishappinesstome。Louis’happinessissoradiantthatithasatlastwarmedmyheart。
  Forwomen,happinessnodoubtcannotconsistinthemeresatisfactionofdesire。Sometimes,intheevening,whenIamnotrequiredtotakeahandinthegame,andcansinkbackinmyarmchair,imaginationbearsmeonitsstrongwingsintotheveryheartofyourlife。Then,itsriches,itschangefultints,itssurgingpassionsbecomemyown,andI
  askmyselftowhatendsuchastormyprefacecanlead。MayInotswallowupthebookitself?Foryou,mydarling,theillusionsoflovearepossible;forme,onlythefactsofhomelyliferemain。Yes,yourloveseemstomeadream!
  ThereforeIfindithardtounderstandwhyyouaredeterminedtothrowsomuchromanceoverit。Youridealmanmusthavemoresoulthanfire,morenobilityandself-commandthanpassion。Youpersistintryingtoclotheinlivingformthedreamidealofagirlonthethresholdoflife;youdemandsacrificesforthepleasureofrewardingthem;yousubmityourFelipetotestsinordertoascertainwhetherdesire,hope,andcuriosityareenduringintheirnature。But,child,behindallyourfantasticstagesceneryrisesthealtar,whereeverlastingbondsareforged。Theverymorrowofyourmarriagethegracefulstructureraisedbyyoursubtlestrategymayfallbeforethatterriblerealitywhichmakesofagirlawoman,ofagallantahusband。
  Rememberthatthereisnotexemptionforlovers。Forthem,asforordinaryfolklikeLouisandme,therelurksbeneaththeweddingrejoicingsthegreat“Perhaps“ofRabelais。
  Idonotblameyou,though,ofcourse,itwasrash,fortalkingwithFelipeinthegarden,orforspendinganightwithhim,youonyourbalcony,heonhiswall;butyoumakeaplaythingoflife,andIamafraidthatlifemaysomedayturnthetables。Idarenotgiveyouthecounselwhichmyownexperiencewouldsuggest;butletmerepeatoncemorefromtheseclusionofmyvalleythattheviaticumofmarriedlifeliesinthesewords——resignationandself-sacrifice。For,spiteofallyourtests,yourcoyness,andyourvigilance,Icanseethatmarriagewillmeantoyouwhatithasbeentome。Thegreaterthepassion,thesteepertheprecipicewehavehewnforourfall——thatistheonlydifference。
  Oh!whatIwouldgivetoseetheBarondeMacumerandtalkwithhimforanhourortwo!Yourhappinessliessonearmyheart。
  AsFelipehascarriedout,withatrulySaracenicgenerosity,thewishesofmyfatherandmotherinacknowledgingthefortunehehasnotreceivedfromme,theDuchesshasbecomeevenmorefriendlytomethanbefore。Shecallsmelittlesly-boots,littlewomanoftheworld,andsaysIknowhowtousemytongue。
  “But,dearmamma,“Isaidtohertheeveningbeforethecontractwassigned,“youattributetocunningandsmartnessonmypartwhatisreallytheoutcomeofthetruest,simplest,mostunselfish,mostdevotedlovethateverwas!IassureyouthatIamnotatallthe’womanoftheworld’youdomethehonorofbelievingmetobe。“
  “Come,come,Armande,“shesaid,puttingherarmonmyneckanddrawingmetoher,inordertokissmyforehead,“youdidnotwanttogobacktotheconvent,youdidnotwanttodieanoldmaid,and,likeafine,noble-heartedChaulieu,asyouare,yourecognizedthenecessityofbuildingupyourfather’sfamily。TheDukewaslistening。Ifyouknew,Renee,whatflatteryliesforhiminthesewords。Ihavewatchedyouduringthewholewinter,pokingyourlittlenoseintoallthatgoeson,formingverysensibleopinionsaboutmenandthepresentstateofsocietyinFrance。AndyouhavepickedouttheoneSpaniardcapableofgivingyouthesplendidpositionofawomanwhoreignssupremeinherownhouse。Mylittlegirl,youtreatedhimexactlyasTulliatreatsyourbrother。“
  “Whatlessonstheygiveinmysister’sconvent!“exclaimedmyfather。
  Aglanceatmyfathercuthimshortatonce;then,turningtotheDuchess,Isaid:
  “Madame,Ilovemyfuturehusband,FelipedeSoria,withallthestrengthofmysoul。Althoughthislovesprangupwithoutmyknowledge,andthoughIfoughtitstoutlywhenitfirstmadeitselffelt,IsweartoyouthatInevergavewaytoittillIhadrecognizedintheBarondeMacumeracharacterworthyofmine,aheartofwhichthedelicacy,thegenerosity,thedevotion,andthetemperaresuitedtomyown。“
  “But,mydear,“shebegan,interruptingme,“heisasuglyas……“
  “Asanythingyoulike,“Iretortedquickly,“butIlovehisugliness。“
  “Ifyoulovehim,Armande,“saidmyfather,“andhavethestrengthtomasteryourlove,youmustnotriskyourhappiness。Now,happinessinmarriagedependslargelyonthefirstdays——“