’Iunderstandyou，’saidI；’notwithstandingyourtroublesandanxietiesyoufindlifeverytolerable；hasyouroriginalityeverbeencalledinquestion？’
　　’Onthecontrary，everyonedeclaresthatoriginalityconstitutesthemostremarkablefeatureofmywritings；themanhassomefaults，theysay，butwantoforiginalityiscertainlynotoneofthem。Heisquitedifferentfromothers-acertainnewspaper，itistrue，the-Ithink，onceinsinuatedthatinacertainworkofmineIhadtakenahintortwofromthewritingsofacoupleofauthorswhichitmentioned；ithappened，however，thatIhadneverevenreadonesyllableofthewritingsofeither，andofoneofthemhadneverevenheardthename；somuchforthediscriminationofthe。Bythebye，whatarascallynewspaperthatis!’
　　’Averyrascallynewspaper，’saidI。
　　CHAPTERLXVII
　　Disturbedslumbers-Thebed-post-Twowizards-WhatcanIdo？-
　　Reallibrary-TheRev。Mr。Platitude-TolerationtoDissenters-
　　Paradox-SwordofSt。Peter-Enemytohumbug-Highprinciples-
　　Falseconcord-Thedamsel-Whatreligion？-Furtherconversation-Thatwouldneverdo!-Mayyouprosper。
　　DURINGthegreaterpartofthatnightmyslumbersweredisturbedbystrangedreams。Amongstotherthings，IfanciedthatIwasmyhost；myheadappearedtobeteemingwithwildthoughtsandimaginations，outofwhichIwasendeavouringtoframeabook。Andnowthebookwasfinishedandgiventotheworld，andtheworldshouted；andalleyeswereturneduponme，andIshrankfromtheeyesoftheworld。And，whenIgotintoretiredplaces，Itouchedvariousobjectsinordertobaffletheevilchance。Inshort，duringthewholenight，IwasactingoverthestorywhichIhadheardbeforeIwenttobed。
　　Atabouteighto’clockIawoke。Thestormhadlongsincepassedaway，andthemorningwasbrightandshining；mycouchwassosoftandluxuriousthatIfeltlothtoquitit，soIlaysometime，myeyeswanderingaboutthemagnificentroomtowhichfortunehadconductedmeinsosingularamanner；atlastIheavedasigh；I
　　wasthinkingofmyownhomelesscondition，andimaginingwhereI
　　shouldfindmyselfonthefollowingmorning。Unwilling，however，toindulgeinmelancholythoughts，Isprangoutofbedandproceededtodressmyself，and，whilstdressing，Ifeltanirresistibleinclinationtotouchthebed-post。
　　Ifinisheddressingandlefttheroom，feelingcompelled，however，asIleftit，totouchthelintelofthedoor。Isitpossible，thoughtI，thatfromwhatIhavelatelyheardthelong-forgotteninfluenceshouldhavepossessedmeagain？butIwillnotgivewaytoit；soIhurrieddownstairs，resistingasIwentacertaininclinationwhichIoccasionallyfelttotouchtherailofthebanister。Iwaspresentlyuponthegravelwalkbeforethehouse：
　　itwasindeedagloriousmorning。Istoodforsometimeobservingthegoldenfishdisportinginthewatersofthepond，andthenstrolledaboutamongstthenobletreesofthepark；thebeautyandfreshnessofthemorning-fortheairhadbeenconsiderablycooledbythelatestorm-soonenabledmetocastawaythegloomyideaswhichhadpreviouslytakenpossessionofmymind，and，afterastrollofabouthalfanhour，Ireturnedtowardsthehouseinhighspirits。ItistruethatonceIfeltverymuchinclinedtogoandtouchtheleavesofafloweryshrubwhichIsawatsomedistance，andhadevenmovedtwoorthreepacestowardsit；but，bethinkingmyself，Imanfullyresistedthetemptation。’Begone!’Iexclaimed，’yesorceries，inwhichIformerlytrusted-begoneforevervagarieswhichIhadalmostforgotten；goodluckisnottobeobtained，orbadaverted，bymagictouches；besides，twowizardsinoneparishwouldbetoomuch，inallconscience。’
　　Ireturnedtothehouse，andenteredthelibrary；breakfastwaslaidonthetable，andmyfriendwasstandingbeforetheportraitwhichIhavealreadysaidhungabovethemantelpiece；sointentlywasheoccupiedingazingatitthathedidnothearmeenter，norwasawareofmypresencetillIadvancedclosetohimandspoke，whenheturnedroundandshookmebythehand。
　　’Whatcanpossiblyhaveinducedyoutohangupthatportraitinyourlibrary？itisastaringlikeness，itistrue，butitappearstomeawretcheddaub。’
　　’Daubasyoucallit，’saidmyfriend，smiling，’IwouldnotpartwithitforthebestpieceofRafael。FormanyahappythoughtI
　　amindebtedtothatpicture-itismyprincipalsourceofinspiration；whenmyimaginationflags，asofcourseitoccasionallydoes，Istareuponthosefeatures，andforthwithstrangeideasoffunanddrollerybegintoflowintomymind；theseIround，amplify，orcombineintogoodlycreations，andbringforthasIfindanopportunity。ItistruethatIamoccasionallytormentedbythethoughtthat，bydoingthis，Iamcommittingplagiarism；though，inthatcase，allthoughtsmustbeplagiarisms，allthatwethinkbeingtheresultofwhatwehear，see，orfeel。
　　WhatcanIdo？Imustderivemythoughtsfromsomesourceorother；and，afterall，itisbettertoplagiarisefromthefeaturesofmylandlordthanfromtheworksofButlerandCervantes。Myworks，asyouareaware，areofaserio-comiccharacter。MyneighboursareofopinionthatIamagreatreader，andsoIam，butonlyofthosefeatures-myreallibraryisthatpicture。’
　　’Buthowdidyouobtainit？’saidI。
　　’Someyearsagoatravellingpaintercameintothisneighbourhood，andmyjollyhost，attherequestofhiswife，consentedtositforhisportrait；shehighlyadmiredthepicture，butshesoondied，andthenmyfatfriend，whoisofanaffectionatedisposition，saidhecouldnotbearthesightofit，asitputhiminmindofhispoorwife。Ipurchaseditofhimforfivepounds-Iwouldnottakefivethousandforit；whenyoucalledthatpictureadaub，youdidnotseeallthepoetryofit。’
　　Wesatdowntobreakfast；myentertainerappearedtobeinmuchbetterspiritsthanontheprecedingday；Ididnotobservehimtouchonce；erebreakfastwasoveraservantentered-’TheReverendMr。Platitude，sir，’saidhe。
　　Ashadeofdissatisfactioncameoverthecountenanceofmyhost。
　　’Whatdoesthesillypestilentfellowmeanbycominghere？’saidhe，halftohimself；’lethimcomein，’saidhetotheservant。
　　Theservantwentout，andinamomentreappeared，introducingtheReverendMr。Platitude。TheReverendMr。Platitude，havingwhatisvulgarlycalledagameleg，cameshamblingintotheroom；hewasaboutthirtyyearsofage，andaboutfivefeetthreeincheshigh；
　　hisfacewasofthecolourofpepper，andnearlyasruggedasanutmeg-grater；hishairwasblack；withhiseyeshesquinted，andgrinnedwithhislips，whichwereverymuchapart，disclosingtwoveryirregularrowsofteeth；hewasdressedinthetrueLeviticalfashion，inasuitofspotlessblack，andaneckerchiefofspotlesswhite。
　　TheReverendMr。Platitudeadvancedwinkingandgrinningtomyentertainer，whoreceivedhimpolitelybutwithevidentcoldness；
　　nothingdaunted，however，theReverendMr。Platitudetookaseatbythetable，and，beingaskedtotakeacupofcoffee，winked，grinned，andconsented。
　　IncompanyIamoccasionallysubjecttofitsofwhatisgenerallycalledabsence；mymindtakesflightandreturnstoformerscenes，orpressesforwardintothefuture。Oneofthesefitsofabsencecameovermeatthistime-IlookedattheReverendMr。Platitudeforamoment，heardawordortwothatproceededfromhismouth，andsayingtomyself，’Youarenomanforme，’fellintoafitofmusing-intothesametrainofthoughtasinthemorning，noverypleasantone-Iwasthinkingofthefuture。
　　Icontinuedinmyreverieforsometime，andprobablyshouldhavecontinuedlonger，hadInotbeensuddenlyarousedbythevoiceofMr。Platituderaisedtoaveryhighkey。’Yes，mydearsir，’saidhe，’itisbuttootrue；Ihaveitongoodauthority-agonechurch-alostchurch-aruinedchurch-ademolishedchurchistheChurchofEngland。TolerationtoDissenters!-oh，monstrous!’
　　’Isuppose，’saidmyhost，’thattherepealoftheTestActswillbemerelyaprecursoroftheemancipationofthePapists？’
　　’OftheCatholics，’saidtheReverendMr。Platitude。’Ahem。Therewasatime，asIbelieveyouareaware，mydearsir，whenIwasasmuchopposedtotheemancipationoftheCatholicsasitwaspossibleforanyonetobe；butIwasprejudiced，mydearsir，labouringunderacloudofmostunfortunateprejudice；butIthankmyMakerIamsonolonger。Ihavetravelled，asyouareaware。
　　Itisonlybytravellingthatonecanruboffprejudices；Ithinkyouwillagreewithmethere。Iamspeakingtoatraveller。I
　　leftbehindallmyprejudicesinItaly。TheCatholicsareatleastourfellow-Christians。IthankHeaventhatIamnolongeranenemytoCatholicemancipation。’
　　’AndyetyouwouldnottolerateDissenters？’
　　’Dissenters，mydearsir；IhopeyouwouldnotclasssuchasetastheDissenterswithCatholics？’
　　’Perhapsitwouldbeunjust，’saidmyhost，’thoughtowhichofthetwopartiesisanotherthing；butpermitmetoaskyouaquestion：
　　DoesitnotsmacksomewhatofparadoxtotalkofCatholics，whilstyouadmitthereareDissenters？IfthereareDissenters，howshouldtherebeCatholics？’
　　’ItisnotmyfaultthatthereareDissenters，’saidtheReverendMr。Platitude；’ifIhadmywillIwouldneitheradmittherewereany，norpermitanytobe。’
　　’Ofcourseyouwouldadmitthereweresuchaslongastheyexisted；
　　buthowwouldyougetridofthem？’
　　’IwouldhavetheChurchexertitsauthority。’
　　’Whatdoyoumeanbyexertingitsauthority？’
　　’IwouldnothavetheChurchbeartheswordinvain。’
　　’What，theswordofSt。Peter？Yourememberwhatthefounderofthereligionwhichyouprofesssaidaboutthesword，“Hewhostrikethwithit……“IthinkthosewhohavecalledthemselvestheChurchhavehadenoughofthesword。Twocanplaywiththesword，Mr。Platitude。TheChurchofRometriedtheswordwiththeLutherans：howdiditfarewiththeChurchofRome？TheChurchofEnglandtriedthesword，Mr。Platitude，withthePuritans：howdiditfarewithLaudandCharles？’