`ButIammarriedalready，’shesaid。`Ican’tleaveClifford，youknow。’
　　`Whynot？butwhynot？’hecried。`He’llhardlyknowyou’vegone，aftersixmonths。Hedoesn’tknowthatanybodyexists，excepthimself。Whythemanhasnouseforyouatall，asfarasIcansee；he’sentirelywrappedupinhimself。’
　　Conniefelttherewastruthinthis。ButshealsofeltthatMickwashardlymakingadisplayofselflessness。
　　`Aren’tallmenwrappedupinthemselves？’sheasked。
　　`Oh，moreorless，Iallow。Aman’sgottobe，togetthrough。Butthat’snotthepoint。Thepointis，whatsortofatimecanamangiveawoman？
　　Canhegiveheradamngoodtime，orcan’the？Ifhecan’the’snorighttothewoman……’Hepausedandgazedatherwithhisfull，hazeleyes，almosthypnotic。`NowIconsider，’headded，`Icangiveawomanthedarndestgoodtimeshecanaskfor。IthinkIcanguaranteemyself。’
　　`Andwhatsortofagoodtime？’askedConnie，gazingonhimstillwithasortofamazement，thatlookedlikethrill；andunderneathfeelingnothingatall。
　　`Everysortofagoodtime，damnit，everysort!Dress，jewelsuptoapoint，anynightclubyoulike，knowanybodyyouwanttoknow，livethepace……travelandbesomebodywhereveryougo……Darnit，everysortofgoodtime。’
　　Hespokeitalmostinabrilliancyoftriumph，andConnielookedathimasifdazzled，andreallyfeelingnothingatall。Hardlyeventhesurfaceofhermindwastickledattheglowingprospectsheofferedher。Hardlyevenhermostoutsideselfresponded，thatatanyothertimewouldhavebeenthrilled。Shejustgotnofeelingfromit，shecouldn’t`gooff’。
　　Shejustsatandstaredandlookeddazzled，andfeltnothing，onlysomewhereshesmelttheextraordinarilyunpleasantsmellofthebitch-goddess。
　　Micksatontenterhooks，leaningforwardinhischair，glaringatheralmosthysterically：andwhetherhewasmoreanxiousoutofvanityforhertosayYes!orwhetherhewasmorepanic-strickenforfearsheshouldsayYes!——whocantell？
　　`Ishouldhavetothinkaboutit，’shesaid。`Icouldn’tsaynow。ItmayseemtoyouClifforddoesn’tcount，buthedoes。Whenyouthinkhowdisabledheis……’
　　`Ohdamnitall!Ifafellow’sgoingtotradeonhisdisabilities，I
　　mightbegintosayhowlonelyIam，andalwayshavebeen，andalltherestofthemy-eye-Betty-Martinsob-stuff!Damnitall，ifafellow’sgotnothingbutdisabilitiestorecommendhim……’
　　Heturnedaside，workinghishandsfuriouslyinhistrouserspockets。
　　Thateveninghesaidtoher：
　　`You’recomingroundtomyroomtonight，aren’tyou？Idon’tdarnknowwhereyourroomis。’
　　`Allright!’shesaid。
　　Hewasamoreexcitedloverthatnight，withhisstrange，smallboy’sfrailnakedness。Conniefounditimpossibletocometohercrisisbeforehehadreallyfinishedhis。Andherousedacertaincravingpassioninher，withhislittleboy’snakednessandsoftness；shehadtogoonafterhehadfinished，inthewildtumultandheavingofherloins，whileheheroicallykepthimselfup，andpresentinher，withallhiswillandself-offering，tillshebroughtaboutherowncrisis，withweirdlittlecries。
　　Whenatlasthedrewawayfromher，hesaid，inabitter，almostsneeringlittlevoice：
　　`Youcouldn’tgooffatthesametimeasaman，couldyou？You’dhavetobringyourselfoff!You’dhavetoruntheshow!’
　　Thislittlespeech，atthemoment，wasoneoftheshocksofherlife。
　　Becausethatpassivesortofgivinghimselfwassoobviouslyhisonlyrealmodeofintercourse。
　　`Whatdoyoumean？’shesaid。
　　`YouknowwhatImean。YoukeeponforhoursafterI’vegoneoff……andIhavetohangonwithmyteethtillyoubringyourselfoffbyyourownexertions。’
　　Shewasstunnedbythisunexpectedpieceofbrutality，atthemomentwhenshewasglowingwithasortofpleasurebeyondwords，andasortofloveforhim。Because，afterall，likesomanymodernmen，hewasfinishedalmostbeforehehadbegun。Andthatforcedthewomantobeactive。
　　`Butyouwantmetogoon，togetmyownsatisfaction？’shesaid。
　　Helaughedgrimly：`Iwantit!’hesaid。`That’sgood!Iwanttohangonwithmyteethclenched，whileyougoforme!’
　　`Butdon’tyou？’sheinsisted。
　　Heavoidedthequestion。`Allthedarnedwomenarelikethat，’hesaid。
　　`Eithertheydon’tgooffatall，asiftheyweredeadinthere……orelsetheywaittillachap’sreallydone，andthentheystartintobringthemselvesoff，andachap’sgottohangon。IneverhadawomanyetwhowentoffjustatthesamemomentasIdid。’
　　Connieonlyhalfheardthispieceofnovel，masculineinformation。Shewasonlystunnedbyhisfeelingagainsther……hisincomprehensiblebrutality。
　　Shefeltsoinnocent。
　　`Butyouwantmetohavemysatisfactiontoo，don’tyou？’sherepeated。
　　`Oh，allright!I’mquitewilling。ButI’mdarnedifhangingonwaitingforawomantogooffismuchofagameforaman……’
　　ThisspeechwasoneofthecrucialblowsofConnie’slife。Itkilledsomethinginher。ShehadnotbeensoverykeenonMichaelis；tillhestartedit，shedidnotwanthim。Itwasasifsheneverpositivelywantedhim。
　　Butoncehehadstartedher，itseemedonlynaturalforhertocometoherowncrisiswithhim。Almostshehadlovedhimforit……almostthatnightshelovedhim，andwantedtomarryhim。
　　Perhapsinstinctivelyheknewit，andthatwaswhyhehadtobringdownthewholeshowwithasmash；thehouseofcards。Herwholesexualfeelingforhim，orforanyman，collapsedthatnight。Herlifefellapartfromhisascompletelyasifhehadneverexisted。
　　Andshewentthroughthedaysdrearily。TherewasnothingnowbutthisemptytreadmillofwhatCliffordcalledtheintegratedlife，thelonglivingtogetheroftwopeople，whoareinthehabitofbeinginthesamehousewithoneanother。
　　Nothingness!Toacceptthegreatnothingnessoflifeseemedtobetheoneendofliving。Allthemanybusyandimportantlittlethingsthatmakeupthegrandsum-totalofnothingness!
　　Chapter6
　　`Whydon’tmenandwomenreallylikeoneanothernowadays？’ConnieaskedTommyDukes，whowasmoreorlessheroracle。
　　`Oh，buttheydo!Idon’tthinksincethehumanspecieswasinvented，therehaseverbeenatimewhenmenandwomenhavelikedoneanotherasmuchastheydotoday。Genuineliking!Takemyself。Ireallylikewomenbetterthanmen；theyarebraver，onecanbemorefrankwiththem。’
　　Connieponderedthis。
　　`Ah，yes，butyouneverhaveanythingtodowiththem!’shesaid。
　　`I？WhatamIdoingbuttalkingperfectlysincerelytoawomanatthismoment？’
　　`Yes，talking……’
　　`AndwhatmorecouldIdoifyouwereaman，thantalkperfectlysincerelytoyou？’
　　`Nothingperhaps。Butawoman……’
　　`Awomanwantsyoutolikeherandtalktoher，andatthesametimeloveheranddesireher；anditseemstomethetwothingsaremutuallyexclusive。’
　　`Buttheyshouldn’tbe!’
　　`Nodoubtwateroughtnottobesowetasitis；itoverdoesitinwetness。
　　Butthereitis!Ilikewomenandtalktothem，andthereforeIdon’tlovethemanddesirethem。Thetwothingsdon’thappenatthesametimeinme。’
　　`Ithinktheyoughtto。’
　　`Allright。Thefactthatthingsoughttobesomethingelsethanwhattheyare，isnotmydepartment。
　　Connieconsideredthis。`Itisn’ttrue，’shesaid。`Mencanlovewomenandtalktothem。Idon’tseehowtheycanlovethemwithouttalking，andbeingfriendlyandintimate。Howcanthey？’
　　`Well，’hesaid，`Idon’tknow。What’stheuseofmygeneralizing？I
　　onlyknowmyowncase。Ilikewomen，butIdon’tdesirethem。Iliketalkingtothem；buttalkingtothem，thoughitmakesmeintimateinonedirection，setsmepolesapartfromthemasfaraskissingisconcerned。Sothereyouare!Butdon’ttakemeasageneralexample，probablyI’mjustaspecialcase：oneofthemenwholikewomen，butdon’tlovewomen，andevenhatethemiftheyforcemeintoapretenceoflove，oranentangledappearance。
　　`Butdoesn’titmakeyousad？’
　　`Whyshouldit？Notabit!IlookatCharlieMay，andtherestofthemenwhohaveaffairs……No，Idon’tenvythemabit!IffatesentmeawomanIwanted，wellandgood。SinceIdon’tknowanywomanIwant，andneverseeone……why，IpresumeI’mcold，andreallylikesomewomenverymuch。’
　　`Doyoulikeme？’
　　`Verymuch!Andyouseethere’snoquestionofkissingbetweenus，isthere？’
　　`Noneatall!’saidConnie。`Butoughtn’ttheretobe？’
　　`Why，inGod’sname？IlikeClifford，butwhatwouldyousayifIwentandkissedhim？’
　　`Butisn’tthereadifference？’
　　`Wheredoesitlie，asfaraswe’reconcerned？We’reallintelligenthumanbeings，andthemaleandfemalebusinessisinabeyance。Justinabeyance。Howwouldyoulikemetostartactinguplikeacontinentalmaleatthismoment，andparadingthesexthing？’
　　`Ishouldhateit。’
　　`Wellthen!Itellyou，ifI’mreallyamalethingatall，Ineverrunacrossthefemaleofmyspecies。AndIdon’tmissher，Ijustlikewomen。
　　Who’sgoingtoforcemeintolovingorpretendingtolovethem，workingupthesexgame？’
　　`No，I’mnot。Butisn’tsomethingwrong？’
　　`Youmayfeelit，Idon’t。’
　　`Yes，Ifeelsomethingiswrongbetweenmenandwomen。Awomanhasnoglamourforamananymore。’
　　`Hasamanforawoman？’
　　Sheponderedtheothersideofthequestion。
　　`Notmuch，’shesaidtruthfully。
　　`Thenlet’sleaveitallalone，andjustbedecentandsimple，likeproperhumanbeingswithoneanother。Bedamnedtotheartificialsex-compulsion!
　　Irefuseit!’
　　Connieknewhewasright，really。Yetitleftherfeelingsoforlorn，soforlornandstray。Likeachiponadrearypond，shefelt。Whatwasthepoint，ofheroranything？
　　Itwasheryouthwhichrebelled。Thesemenseemedsooldandcold。Everythingseemedoldandcold。AndMichaelisletonedownso；hewasnogood。Themendidn’twantone；theyjustdidn’treallywantawoman，evenMichaelisdidn’t。
　　Andthebounderswhopretendedtheydid，andstartedworkingthesexgame，theywereworsethanever。
　　Itwasjustdismal，andonehadtoputupwithit。Itwasquitetrue，menhadnorealglamourforawoman：ifyoucouldfoolyourselfintothinkingtheyhad，evenasshehadfooledherselfoverMichaelis，thatwasthebestyoucoulddo。Meanwhileyoujustlivedonandtherewasnothingtoit。
　　Sheunderstoodperfectlywellwhypeoplehadcocktailparties，andjazzed，andCharlestonedtilltheywerereadytodrop。Youhadtotakeitoutsomewayorother，youryouth，oritateyouup。Butwhataghastlything，thisyouth!YoufeltasoldasMethuselah，andyetthethingfizzedsomehow，anddidn’tletyoubecomfortable。Ameansortoflife!Andnoprospect!
　　ShealmostwishedshehadgoneoffwithMick，andmadeherlifeonelongcocktailparty，andjazzevening。Anyhowthatwasbetterthanjustmooningyourselfintothegrave。
　　Ononeofherbaddaysshewentoutalonetowalkinthewood，ponderously，heedingnothing，notevennoticingwhereshewas。Thereportofagunnotfaroffstartledandangeredher。
　　Then，asshewent，sheheardvoices，andrecoiled。People!Shedidn’twantpeople。Butherquickearcaughtanothersound，andsheroused；itwasachildsobbing。Atoncesheattended；someonewasill-treatingachild。
　　Shestrodeswingingdownthewetdrive，hersullenresentmentuppermost。
　　Shefeltjustpreparedtomakeascene。
　　Turningthecorner，shesawtwofiguresinthedrivebeyondher：thekeeper，andalittlegirlinapurplecoatandmoleskincap，crying。
　　`Ah，shutitup，thafalselittlebitch!’cametheman’sangryvoice，andthechildsobbedlouder。
　　Constancestrodenearer，withblazingeyes。Themanturnedandlookedather，salutingcoolly，buthewaspalewithanger。
　　`What’sthematter？Whyisshecrying？’demandedConstance，peremptorybutalittlebreathless。
　　Afaintsmilelikeasneercameontheman’sface。`Nay，yomunax’er，’
　　herepliedcallously，inbroadvernacular。
　　Conniefeltasifhehadhitherintheface，andshechangedcolour。
　　Thenshegatheredherdefiance，andlookedathim，herdarkblueeyesblazingrathervaguely。
　　`Iaskedyou，’shepanted。
　　Hegaveaqueerlittlebow，liftinghishat。`Youdid，yourLadyship，’
　　hesaid；then，withareturntothevernacular：`butIcannatellyer。’
　　Andhebecameasoldier，inscrutable，onlypalewithannoyance。
　　Connieturnedtothechild，aruddy，black-hairedthingofnineorten。
　　`Whatisit，dear？Tellmewhyyou’recrying!’shesaid，withtheconventionalizedsweetnesssuitable。Moreviolentsobs，self-conscious。StillmoresweetnessonConnie’spart。
　　`There，there，don’tyoucry!Tellmewhatthey’vedonetoyou!’……anintensetendernessoftone。Atthesametimeshefeltinthepocketofherknittedjacket，andluckilyfoundasixpence。
　　`Don’tyoucrythen!’shesaid，bendinginfrontofthechild。`SeewhatI’vegotforyou!’
　　Sobs，snuffles，afisttakenfromablubberedface，andablackshrewdeyecastforasecondonthesixpence。Thenmoresobs，butsubduing。`There，tellmewhat’sthematter，tellme!’saidConnie，puttingthecoinintothechild’schubbyhand，whichclosedoverit。
　　`It’sthe……it’sthe……pussy!’
　　Shuddersofsubsidingsobs。
　　`Whatpussy，dear？’
　　Afterasilencetheshyfist，clenchingonsixpence，pointedintothebramblebrake。
　　`There!’
　　Connielooked，andthere，sureenough，wasabigblackcat，stretchedoutgrimly，withabitofbloodonit。
　　`Oh!’shesaidinrepulsion。
　　`Apoacher，yourLadyship，’saidthemansatirically。