首页 >出版文学> LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER>第7章
  Shewaswatchingabrownspanielthathadrunoutofaside-path,andwaslookingtowardsthemwithliftednose,makingasoft,fluffybark。
  Amanwithagunstrodeswiftly,softlyoutafterthedog,facingtheirwayasifabouttoattackthem;thenstoppedinstead,saluted,andwasturningdownhill。Itwasonlythenewgame-keeper,buthehadfrightenedConnie,heseemedtoemergewithsuchaswiftmenace。Thatwashowshehadseenhim,likethesuddenrushofathreatoutofnowhere。
  Hewasamanindarkgreenvelveteensandgaiters……theoldstyle,witharedfaceandredmoustacheanddistanteyes。Hewasgoingquicklydownhill。
  `Mellors!’calledClifford。
  Themanfacedlightlyround,andsalutedwithaquicklittlegesture,asoldier!
  `Willyouturnthechairroundandgetitstarted?Thatmakesiteasier,’
  saidClifford。
  Themanatonceslunghisgunoverhisshoulder,andcameforwardwiththesamecuriousswift,yetsoftmovements,asifkeepinginvisible。Hewasmoderatelytallandlean,andwassilent。HedidnotlookatConnieatall,onlyatthechair。
  `Connie,thisisthenewgame-keeper,Mellors。Youhaven’tspokentoherladyshipyet,Mellors?’
  `No,Sir!’cametheready,neutralwords。
  Themanliftedhishatashestood,showinghisthick,almostfairhair。
  HestaredstraightintoConnie’seyes,withaperfect,fearless,impersonallook,asifhewantedtoseewhatshewaslike。Hemadeherfeelshy。Shebentherheadtohimshyly,andhechangedhishattohislefthandandmadeheraslightbow,likeagentleman;buthesaidnothingatall。Heremainedforamomentstill,withhishatinhishand。
  `Butyou’vebeenheresometime,haven’tyou?’Conniesaidtohim。
  `Eightmonths,Madam……yourLadyship!’hecorrectedhimselfcalmly。
  `Anddoyoulikeit?’
  Shelookedhimintheeyes。Hiseyesnarrowedalittle,withirony,perhapswithimpudence。
  `Why,yes,thankyou,yourLadyship!Iwasrearedhere……’
  Hegaveanotherslightbow,turned,puthishaton,andstrodetotakeholdofthechair。Hisvoiceonthelastwordshadfallenintotheheavybroaddragofthedialect……perhapsalsoinmockery,becausetherehadbeennotraceofdialectbefore。Hemightalmostbeagentleman。Anyhow,hewasacurious,quick,separatefellow,alone,butsureofhimself。
  Cliffordstartedthelittleengine,themancarefullyturnedthechair,andsetitnose-forwardstotheinclinethatcurvedgentlytothedarkhazelthicket。
  `Isthatallthen,SirClifford?’askedtheman。
  `No,you’dbettercomealongincaseshesticks。Theengineisn’treallystrongenoughfortheuphillwork。’Themanglancedroundforhisdog……athoughtfulglance。Thespaniellookedathimandfaintlymoveditstail。
  Alittlesmile,mockingorteasingher,yetgentle,cameintohiseyesforamoment,thenfadedaway,andhisfacewasexpressionless。Theywentfairlyquicklydowntheslope,themanwithhishandontherailofthechair,steadyingit。Helookedlikeafreesoldierratherthanaservant。
  AndsomethingabouthimremindedConnieofTommyDukes。
  Whentheycametothehazelgrove,Conniesuddenlyranforward,andopenedthegateintothepark。Asshestoodholdingit,thetwomenlookedatherinpassing,Cliffordcritically,theothermanwithacurious,coolwonder;impersonallywantingtoseewhatshelookedlike。Andshesawinhisblue,impersonaleyesalookofsufferinganddetachment,yetacertainwarmth。Butwhywashesoaloof,apart?
  Cliffordstoppedthechair,oncethroughthegate,andthemancamequickly,courteously,tocloseit。
  `Whydidyouruntoopen?’askedCliffordinhisquiet,calmvoice,thatshowedhewasdispleased。`Mellorswouldhavedoneit。’
  `Ithoughtyouwouldgostraightahead,’saidConnie。`Andleaveyoutorunafterus?’saidClifford。
  `Oh,well,Iliketorunsometimes!’
  Mellorstookthechairagain,lookingperfectlyunheeding,yetConniefelthenotedeverything。Ashepushedthechairupthesteepishriseoftheknollinthepark,hebreathedratherquickly,throughpartedlips。
  Hewasratherfrailreally。Curiouslyfullofvitality,butalittlefrailandquenched。Herwoman’sinstinctsensedit。
  Conniefellback,letthechairgoon。Thedayhadgreyedover;thesmallblueskythathadpoisedlowonitscircularrimsofhazewasclosedinagain,thelidwasdown,therewasarawcoldness。Itwasgoingtosnow。
  Allgrey,allgrey!theworldlookedwornout。
  Thechairwaitedatthetopofthepinkpath。CliffordlookedroundforConnie。
  `Nottired,areyou?’hesaid。
  `Oh,no!’shesaid。
  Butshewas。Astrange,wearyyearning,adissatisfactionhadstartedinher。Clifforddidnotnotice:thosewerenotthingshewasawareof。
  Butthestrangerknew。ToConnie,everythinginherworldandlifeseemedwornout,andherdissatisfactionwasolderthanthehills。
  Theycametothehouse,andaroundtotheback,wheretherewerenosteps。Cliffordmanagedtoswinghimselfoverontothelow,wheeledhouse-chair;
  hewasverystrongandagilewithhisarms。ThenConnieliftedtheburdenofhisdeadlegsafterhim。
  Thekeeper,waitingatattentiontobedismissed,watchedeverythingnarrowly,missingnothing。Hewentpale,withasortoffear,whenhesawConnieliftingtheinertlegsofthemaninherarms,intotheotherchair,Cliffordpivotingroundasshedidso。Hewasfrightened。
  `Thanks,then,forthehelp,Mellors,’saidCliffordcasually,ashebegantowheeldownthepassagetotheservants’quarters。
  `Nothingelse,Sir?’cametheneutralvoice,likeoneinadream。
  `Nothing,goodmorning!’
  `Goodmorning,Sir。’
  `Goodmorning!itwaskindofyoutopushthechairupthathill……I
  hopeitwasn’theavyforyou,’saidConnie,lookingbackatthekeeperoutsidethedoor。
  Hiseyescametohersinaninstant,asifwakenedup。Hewasawareofher。
  `Ohno,notheavy!’hesaidquickly。Thenhisvoicedroppedagainintothebroadsoundofthevernacular:`Goodmornin’toyourLadyship!’
  `Whoisyourgame-keeper?’Connieaskedatlunch。
  `Mellors!Yousawhim,’saidClifford。
  `Yes,butwheredidhecomefrom?’
  `Nowhere!HewasaTevershallboy……sonofacollier,Ibelieve。’
  `Andwasheacollierhimself?’
  `Blacksmithonthepit-bank,Ibelieve:overheadsmith。Buthewaskeeperherefortwoyearsbeforethewar……beforehejoinedup。MyfatheralwayshadagoodOpinionofhim,sowhenhecameback,andwenttothepitforablacksmith’sjob,Ijusttookhimbackhereaskeeper。Iwasreallyverygladtogethim……itsalmostimpossibletofindagoodmanroundhereforagamekeeper……anditneedsamanwhoknowsthepeople。’
  `Andisn’themarried?’
  `Hewas。Buthiswifewentoffwith……withvariousmen……butfinallywithacollieratStacksGate,andIbelieveshe’slivingtherestill。’
  `Sothismanisalone?’
  `Moreorless!Hehasamotherinthevillage……andachild,Ibelieve。’
  CliffordlookedatConnie,withhispale,slightlyprominentblueeyes,inwhichacertainvaguenesswascoming。Heseemedalertintheforeground,butthebackgroundwasliketheMidlandsatmosphere,haze,smokymist。
  Andthehazeseemedtobecreepingforward。SowhenhestaredatConnieinhispeculiarway,givingherhispeculiar,preciseinformation,shefeltallthebackgroundofhismindfillingupwithmist,withnothingness。
  Anditfrightenedher。Itmadehimseemimpersonal,almosttoidiocy。
  Anddimlysherealizedoneofthegreatlawsofthehumansoul:thatwhentheemotionalsoulreceivesawoundingshock,whichdoesnotkillthebody,thesoulseemstorecoverasthebodyrecovers。Butthisisonlyappearance。Itisreallyonlythemechanismofthere-assumedhabit。Slowly,slowlythewoundtothesoulbeginstomakeitselffelt,likeabruise,whichOnlyslowlydeepensitsterribleache,tillitfillsallthepsyche。
  Andwhenwethinkwehaverecoveredandforgotten,itisthenthattheterribleafter-effectshavetobeencounteredattheirworst。
  SoitwaswithClifford。Oncehewas`well’,oncehewasbackatWragby,andwritinghisstories,andfeelingsureoflife,inspiteofall,heseemedtoforget,andtohaverecoveredallhisequanimity。Butnow,astheyearswentby,slowly,slowly,Conniefeltthebruiseoffearandhorrorcomingup,andspreadinginhim。Foratimeithadbeensodeepastobenumb,asitwerenon-existent。Nowslowlyitbegantoassertitselfinaspreadoffear,almostparalysis。Mentallyhestillwasalert。Buttheparalysis,thebruiseofthetoo-greatshock,wasgraduallyspreadinginhisaffectiveself。
  Andasitspreadinhim,Conniefeltitspreadinher。Aninwarddread,anemptiness,anindifferencetoeverythinggraduallyspreadinhersoul。
  WhenCliffordwasroused,hecouldstilltalkbrilliantlyand,asitwere,commandthefuture:aswhen,inthewood,hetalkedaboutherhavingachild,andgivinganheirtoWragby。Butthedayafter,allthebrilliantwordsseemedlikedeadleaves,crumplingupandturningtopowder,meaningreallynothing,blownawayonanygustofwind。Theywerenottheleafywordsofaneffectivelife,youngwithenergyandbelongingtothetree。
  Theywerethehostsoffallenleavesofalifethatisineffectual。
  Soitseemedtohereverywhere。ThecolliersatTevershallweretalkingagainofastrike,anditseemedtoConniethereagainitwasnotamanifestationofenergy,itwasthebruiseofthewarthathadbeeninabeyance,slowlyrisingtothesurfaceandcreatingthegreatacheofunrest,andstuporofdiscontent。Thebruisewasdeep,deep,deep……thebruiseofthefalseinhumanwar。Itwouldtakemanyyearsforthelivingbloodofthegenerationstodissolvethevastblackclotofbruisedblood,deepinsidetheirsoulsandbodies。Anditwouldneedanewhope。
  PoorConnie!AstheyearsdrewonitwasthefearofnothingnessInherlifethataffectedher。Clifford’smentallifeandhersgraduallybegantofeellikenothingness。Theirmarriage,theirintegratedlifebasedonahabitofintimacy,thathetalkedabout:thereweredayswhenitallbecameutterlyblankandnothing。Itwaswords,justsomanywords。Theonlyrealitywasnothingness,andoveritahypocrisyofwords。
  TherewasClifford’ssuccess:thebitch-goddess!Itwastruehewasalmostfamous,andhisbooksbroughthiminathousandpounds。Hisphotographappearedeverywhere。Therewasabustofhiminoneofthegalleries,andaportraitofhimintwogalleries。Heseemedthemostmodernofmodernvoices。Withhisuncannylameinstinctforpublicity,hehadbecomeinfourorfiveyearsoneofthebestknownoftheyoung`intellectuals’。
  Wheretheintellectcamein,Conniedidnotquitesee。Cliffordwasreallycleveratthatslightlyhumorousanalysisofpeopleandmotiveswhichleaveseverythinginbitsattheend。Butitwasratherlikepuppiestearingthesofacushionstobits;exceptthatitwasnotyoungandplayful,butcuriouslyold,andratherobstinatelyconceited。Itwasweirdanditwasnothing。
  Thiswasthefeelingthatechoedandre-echoedatthebottomofConnie’ssoul:itwasallflag,awonderfuldisplayofnothingness;Atthesametimeadisplay。Adisplay!adisplay!adisplay!
  MichaelishadseizeduponCliffordasthecentralfigureforaplay;
  alreadyhehadsketchedintheplot,andwrittenthefirstact。ForMichaeliswasevenbetterthanCliffordatmakingadisplayofnothingness。Itwasthelastbitofpassionleftinthesemen:thepassionformakingadisplay。
  Sexuallytheywerepassionless,evendead。AndnowitwasnotmoneythatMichaeliswasafter。Cliffordhadneverbeenprimarilyoutformoney,thoughhemadeitwherehecould,formoneyisthesealandstampofsuccess。
  Andsuccesswaswhattheywanted。Theywanted,bothofthem,tomakearealdisplay……aman’sownverydisplayofhimselfthatshouldcaptureforatimethevastpopulace。
  Itwasstrange……theprostitutiontothebitch-goddess。ToConnie,sinceshewasreallyoutsideofit,andsinceshehadgrownnumbtothethrillofit,itwasagainnothingness。Eventheprostitutiontothebitch-goddesswasnothingness,thoughthemenprostitutedthemselvesinnumerabletimes。
  Nothingnesseventhat。
  MichaeliswrotetoCliffordabouttheplay。Ofcoursesheknewaboutitlongago。AndCliffordwasagainthrilled。Hewasgoingtobedisplayedagainthistime,somebodywasgoingtodisplayhim,andtoadvantage。HeinvitedMichaelisdowntoWragbywithActI。
  Michaeliscame:insummer,inapale-colouredsuitandwhitesuedegloves,withmauveorchidsforConnie,verylovely,andActIwasagreatsuccess。
  EvenConniewasthrilled……thrilledtowhatbitofmarrowshehadleft。
  AndMichaelis,thrilledbyhispowertothrill,wasreallywonderful……andquitebeautiful,inConnie’seyes。Shesawinhimthatancientmotionlessnessofaracethatcan’tbedisillusionedanymore,anextreme,perhaps,ofimpuritythatispure。Onthefarsideofhissupremeprostitutiontothebitch-goddessheseemedpure,pureasanAfricanivorymaskthatdreamsimpurityintopurity,initsivorycurvesandplanes。
  HismomentofsheerthrillwiththetwoChatterleys,whenhesimplycarriedConnieandCliffordaway,wasoneofthesuprememomentsofMichaelis’
  life。Hehadsucceeded:hehadcarriedthemaway。EvenCliffordwastemporarilyinlovewithhim……ifthatisthewayonecanputit。
  SonextmorningMickwasmoreuneasythanever;restless,devoured,withhishandsrestlessinhistrouserspockets。Conniehadnotvisitedhiminthenight……andhehadnotknownwheretofindher。Coquetry!……athismomentoftriumph。
  Hewentuptohersitting-roominthemorning。Sheknewhewouldcome。
  Andhisrestlessnesswasevident。Heaskedherabouthisplay……didshethinkitgood?Hehadtohearitpraised:thataffectedhimwiththelastthinthrillofpassionbeyondanysexualorgasm。Andshepraiseditrapturously。
  Yetallthewhile,atthebottomofhersoul,sheknewitwasnothing。
  `Lookhere!’hesaidsuddenlyatlast。`Whydon’tyouandImakeacleanthingofit?Whydon’twemarry?’
  `ButIammarried,’shesaid,amazed,andyetfeelingnothing。
  `Ohthat!……he’lldivorceyouallright……Whydon’tyouandImarry?
  Iwanttomarry。Iknowitwouldbethebestthingforme……marryandleadaregularlife。Ileadthedeuceofalife,simplytearingmyselftopieces。
  Lookhere,youandI,we’remadeforoneanother……handandglove。Whydon’twemarry?Doyouseeanyreasonwhyweshouldn’t?’
  Connielookedathimamazed:andyetshefeltnothing。Thesemen,theywereallalike,theylefteverythingout。Theyjustwentofffromthetopoftheirheadsasiftheyweresquibs,andexpectedyoutobecarriedheavenwardsalongwiththeirownthinsticks。