首页 >出版文学> LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER>第17章
  `Ihadtocomeandseethechickens!’shesaid,panting,glancingshylyatthekeeper,almostunawareofhim。`Arethereanymore?’
  `Thurty-sixsofar!’hesaid。`Notbad!’
  Hetootookacuriouspleasureinwatchingtheyoungthingscomeout。
  Conniecrouchedinfrontofthelastcoop。Thethreechickshadrunin。Butstilltheircheekyheadscamepokingsharplythroughtheyellowfeathers,thenwithdrawing,thenonlyonebeadylittleheadeyeingforthfromthevastmother-body。
  `I’dlovetotouchthem,’shesaid,puttingherlingersgingerlythroughthebarsofthecoop。Butthemother-henpeckedatherhandfiercely,andConniedrewbackstartledandfrightened。
  `Howshepecksatme!Shehatesme!’shesaidinawonderingvoice。
  `ButIwouldn’thurtthem!’
  Themanstandingaboveherlaughed,andcroucheddownbesideher,kneesapart,andputhishandwithquietconfidenceslowlyintothecoop。Theoldhenpeckedathim,butnotsosavagely。Andslowly,softly,withsuregentlelingers,hefeltamongtheoldbird’sfeathersanddrewoutafaintly-peepingchickinhisclosedhand。
  `There!’hesaid,holdingouthishandtoher。Shetookthelittledrabthingbetweenherhands,andthereitstood,onitsimpossiblelittlestalksoflegs,itsatomofbalancinglifetremblingthroughitsalmostweightlessfeetintoConnie’shands。Butitlifteditshandsome,clean-shapedlittleheadboldly,andlookedsharplyround,andgavealittle`peep’。`Soadorable!
  Socheeky!’shesaidsoftly。
  Thekeeper,squattingbesideher,wasalsowatchingwithanamusedfacetheboldlittlebirdinherhands。Suddenlyhesawatearfallontoherwrist。
  Andhestoodup,andstoodaway,movingtotheothercoop。Forsuddenlyhewasawareoftheoldflameshootingandleapingupinhisloins,thathehadhopedwasquiescentforever。Hefoughtagainstit,turninghisbacktoher。Butitleapt,andleaptdownwards,circlinginhisknees。
  Heturnedagaintolookather。Shewaskneelingandholdinghertwohandsslowlyforward,blindly,sothatthechickenshouldrunintothemother-henagain。Andtherewassomethingsomuteandforlorninher,compassionflamedinhisbowelsforher。
  Withoutknowing,hecamequicklytowardsherandcrouchedbesideheragain,takingthechickfromherhands,becauseshewasafraidofthehen,andputtingitbackinthecoop。Atthebackofhisloinstheliresuddenlydartedstronger。
  Heglancedapprehensivelyather。Herfacewasaverted,andshewascryingblindly,inalltheanguishofhergeneration’sforlornness。Hisheartmeltedsuddenly,likeadropoffire,andheputouthishandandlaidhislingersonherknee。
  `Youshouldn’tcry,’hesaidsoftly。
  Butthensheputherhandsoverherfaceandfeltthatreallyherheartwasbrokenandnothingmatteredanymore。
  Helaidhishandonhershoulder,andsoftly,gently,itbegantotraveldownthecurveofherback,blindly,withablindstrokingmotion,tothecurveofhercrouchingloins。Andtherehishandsoftly,softly,strokedthecurveofherflank,intheblindinstinctivecaress。
  Shehadfoundherscrapofhandkerchiefandwasblindlytryingtodryherface。
  `Shallyoucometothehut?’hesaid,inaquiet,neutralvoice。
  Andclosinghishandsoftlyonherupperarm,hedrewherupandledherslowlytothehut,notlettinggoofhertillshewasinside。Thenheclearedasidethechairandtable,andtookabrown,soldier’sblanketfromthetoolchest,spreadingitslowly。Sheglancedathisface,asshestoodmotionless。
  Hisfacewaspaleandwithoutexpression,likethatofamansubmittingtofate。
  `Youliethere,’hesaidsoftly,andheshutthedoor,sothatitwasdark,quitedark。
  Withaqueerobedience,shelaydownontheblanket。Thenshefeltthesoft,groping,helplesslydesiroushandtouchingherbody,feelingforherface。Thehandstrokedherfacesoftly,softly,withinfinitesoothingandassurance,andatlasttherewasthesofttouchofakissonhercheek。
  Shelayquitestill,inasortofsleep,inasortofdream。Thenshequiveredasshefelthishandgropingsoftly,yetwithqueerthwartedclumsiness,amongher`clothing。Yetthehandknew,too,howtounclotheherwhereitwanted。Hedrewdownthethinsilksheath,slowly,carefully,rightdownandoverherfeet。Thenwithaquiverofexquisitepleasurehetouchedthewarmsoftbody,andtouchedhernavelforamomentinakiss。Andhehadtocomeintoheratonce,toenterthepeaceonearthofhersoft,quiescentbody。Itwasthemomentofpurepeaceforhim,theentryintothebodyofthewoman。
  Shelaystill,inakindofsleep,alwaysinakindofsleep。Theactivity,theorgasmwashis,allhis;shecouldstriveforherselfnomore。Eventhetightnessofhisarmsroundher,eventheintensemovementofhisbody,andthespringingofhisseedinher,wasakindofsleep,fromwhichshedidnotbegintorousetillhehadfinishedandlaysoftlypantingagainstherbreast。
  Thenshewondered,justdimlywondered,why?Whywasthisnecessary?
  Whyhaditliftedagreatcloudfromherandgivenherpeace?Wasitreal?
  Wasitreal?
  Hertormentedmodern-woman’sbrainstillhadnorest。Wasitreal?Andsheknew,ifshegaveherselftotheman,itwasreal。Butifshekeptherselfforherselfitwasnothing。Shewasold;millionsofyearsold,shefelt。Andatlast,shecouldbeartheburdenofherselfnomore。Shewastobehadforthetaking。Tobehadforthetaking。
  Themanlayinamysteriousstillness。Whatwashefeeling?Whatwashethinking?Shedidnotknow。Hewasastrangemantoher,shedidnotknowhim。Shemustonlywait,forshedidnotdaretobreakhismysteriousstillness。Helaytherewithhisarmsroundher,hisbodyonhers,hiswetbodytouchinghers,soclose。Andcompletelyunknown。Yetnotunpeaceful。
  Hisverystillnesswaspeaceful。
  Sheknewthat,whenatlastherousedanddrewawayfromher。Itwaslikeanabandonment。Hedrewherdressinthedarknessdownoverherkneesandstoodafewmoments,apparentlyadjustinghisownclothing。Thenhequietlyopenedthedoorandwentout。
  Shesawaverybrilliantlittlemoonshiningabovetheafterglowovertheoaks。Quicklyshegotupandarrangedherselfshewastidy。Thenshewenttothedoorofthehut。
  Allthelowerwoodwasinshadow,almostdarkness。Yettheskyoverheadwascrystal。Butitshedhardlyanylight。Hecamethroughthelowershadowtowardsher,hisfaceliftedlikeapaleblotch。
  `Shallwegothen?’hesaid。
  `Where?’
  `I’llgowithyoutothegate。’
  Hearrangedthingshisownway。Helockedthedoorofthehutandcameafterher。
  `Youaren’tsorry,areyou?’heasked,ashewentatherside。
  `No!No!Areyou?’shesaid。
  `Forthat!No!’hesaid。Thenafterawhileheadded:`Butthere’stherestofthings。’
  `Whatrestofthings?’shesaid。
  `SirClifford。Otherfolks。Allthecomplications。’
  `Whycomplications?’shesaid,disappointed。
  `It’salwaysso。Foryouaswellasforme。There’salwayscomplications。’
  Hewalkedonsteadilyinthedark。
  `Andareyousorry?’shesaid。
  `Inaway!’hereplied,lookingupatthesky。`IthoughtI’ddonewithitall。NowI’vebegunagain。’
  `Begunwhat?’
  `Life。’
  `Life!’shere-echoed,withaqueerthrill。
  `It’slife,’hesaid。`There’snokeepingclear。Andifyoudokeepclearyoumightalmostaswelldie。SoifI’vegottobebrokenopenagain,Ihave。’
  Shedidnotquiteseeitthatway,butstill`It’sjustlove,’shesaidcheerfully。
  `Whateverthatmaybe,’hereplied。
  Theywentonthroughthedarkeningwoodinsilence,tilltheywerealmostatthegate。
  `Butyoudon’thateme,doyou?’shesaidwistfully。
  `Nay,nay,’hereplied。Andsuddenlyheheldherfastagainsthisbreastagain,withtheoldconnectingpassion。`Nay,formeitwasgood,itwasgood。Wasitforyou?’
  `Yes,formetoo,’sheanswered,alittleuntruthfully,forshehadnotbeenconsciousofmuch。
  Hekissedhersoftly,softly,withthekissesofwarmth。
  `Ifonlythereweren’tsomanyotherpeopleintheworld,’hesaidlugubriously。
  Shelaughed。Theywereatthegatetothepark。Heopeneditforher。
  `Iwon’tcomeanyfurther,’hesaid。
  `No!’Andsheheldoutherhand,asiftoshakehands。Buthetookitinbothhis。
  `ShallIcomeagain?’sheaskedwistfully。
  `Yes!Yes!’
  Shelefthimandwentacrossthepark。
  Hestoodbackandwatchedhergoingintothedark,againstthepallorofthehorizon。Almostwithbitternesshewatchedhergo。Shehadconnectedhimupagain,whenhehadwantedtobealone。Shehadcosthimthatbitterprivacyofamanwhoatlastwantsonlytobealone。
  Heturnedintothedarkofthewood。Allwasstill,themoonhadset。
  Buthewasawareofthenoisesofthenight,theenginesatStacksGate,thetrafficonthemainroad。Slowlyheclimbedthedenudedknoll。Andfromthetophecouldseethecountry,brightrowsoflightsatStacksGate,smallerlightsatTevershallpit,theyellowlightsofTevershallandlightseverywhere,hereandthere,onthedarkcountry,withthedistantblushoffurnaces,faintandrosy,sincethenightwasclear,therosinessoftheoutpouringofwhite-hotmetal。Sharp,wickedelectriclightsatStacksGate!Anundefinablequickofevilinthem!Andalltheunease,theever-shiftingdreadoftheindustrialnightintheMidlands。Hecouldhearthewinding-enginesatStacksGateturningdowntheseven-o’clockminers。Thepitworkedthreeshifts。
  Hewentdownagainintothedarknessandseclusionofthewood。Butheknewthattheseclusionofthewoodwasillusory。Theindustrialnoisesbrokethesolitude,thesharplights,thoughunseen,mockedit。Amancouldnolongerbeprivateandwithdrawn。Theworldallowsnohermits。Andnowhehadtakenthewoman,andbroughtonhimselfanewcycleofpainanddoom。Forheknewbyexperiencewhatitmeant。
  Itwasnotwoman’sfault,norevenlove’sfault,northefaultofsex。
  Thefaultlaythere,outthere,inthoseevilelectriclightsanddiabolicalrattlingsofengines。There,intheworldofthemechanicalgreedy,greedymechanismandmechanizedgreed,sparklingwithlightsandgushinghotmetalandroaringwithtraffic,therelaythevastevilthing,readytodestroywhateverdidnotconform。Soonitwoulddestroythewood,andthebluebellswouldspringnomore。Allvulnerablethingsmustperishundertherollingandrunningofiron。
  Hethoughtwithinfinitetendernessofthewoman。Poorforlornthing,shewasnicerthansheknew,andoh!somuchtooniceforthetoughlotshewasincontactwith。Poorthing,shetoohadsomeofthevulnerabilityofthewildhyacinths,shewasn’talltoughrubber-goodsandplatinum,likethemoderngirl。Andtheywoulddoherin!Assureaslife,theywoulddoherin,astheydoinallnaturallytenderlife。Tender!Somewhereshewastender,tenderwithatendernessofthegrowinghyacinths,somethingthathasgoneoutofthecelluloidwomenoftoday。Buthewouldprotectherwithhisheartforalittlewhile。Foralittlewhile,beforetheinsentientironworldandtheMammonofmechanizedgreeddidthembothin,heraswellashim。
  Hewenthomewithhisgunandhisdog,tothedarkcottage,litthelamp,startedthefire,andatehissupperofbreadandcheese,youngonionsandbeer。Hewasalone,inasilenceheloved。Hisroomwascleanandtidy,butratherstark。Yetthefirewasbright,thehearthwhite,thepetroleumlamphungbrightoverthetable,withitswhiteoil-cloth。HetriedtoreadabookaboutIndia,buttonighthecouldnotread。Hesatbythefireinhisshirt-sleeves,notsmoking,butwithamugofbeerinreach。AndhethoughtaboutConnie。
  Totellthetruth,hewassorryforwhathadhappened,perhapsmostforhersake。Hehadasenseofforeboding。Nosenseofwrongorsin;hewastroubledbynoconscienceinthatrespect。Heknewthatconsciencewaschieflytearofsociety,orfearofoneself。Hewasnotafraidofhimself。
  Buthewasquiteconsciouslyafraidofsociety,whichheknewbyinstincttobeamalevolent,partly-insanebeast。
  Thewoman!Ifshecouldbetherewithhim,aridtherewerenobodyelseintheworld!Thedesireroseagain,hispenisbegantostirlikealivebird。Atthesametimeanoppression,adreadofexposinghimselfandhertothatoutsideThingthatsparkledviciouslyintheelectriclights,weigheddownhisshoulders。She,pooryoungthing,wasjustayoungfemalecreaturetohim;butayoungfemalecreaturewhomhehadgoneintoandwhomhedesiredagain。
  Stretchingwiththecuriousyawnofdesire,forhehadbeenaloneandapartfrommanorwomanforfouryears,heroseandtookhiscoatagain,andhisgun,loweredthelampandwentoutintothestarrynight,withthedog。DrivenbydesireandbydreadofthemalevolentThingoutside,hemadehisroundinthewood,slowly,softly。Helovedthedarknessaridfoldedhimselfintoit。Itfittedtheturgidityofhisdesirewhich,inspiteofall,waslikeariches;thestirringrestlessnessofhispenis,thestirringfireinhisloins!Oh,ifonlytherewereothermentobewith,tofightthatsparklingelectricThingoutsidethere,topreservethetendernessoflife,thetendernessofwomen,andthenaturalrichesofdesire。Ifonlytherewerementofightsidebysidewith!Butthemenwerealloutsidethere,gloryingintheThing,triumphingorbeingtroddendownintherushofmechanizedgreedorofgreedymechanism。
  Constance,forherpart,hadhurriedacrossthepark,home,almostwithoutthinking。Asyetshehadnoafterthought。Shewouldbeintimefordinner。
  Shewasannoyedtofindthedoorsfastened,however,sothatshehadtoring。MrsBoltonopened。
  `Whythereyouare,yourLadyship!Iwasbeginningtowonderifyou’dgonelost!’shesaidalittleroguishly。`SirCliffordhasn’taskedforyou,though;he’sgotMrLinleyinwithhim,talkingoversomething。Itlooksasifhe’dstaytodinner,doesn’tit,myLady?’
  `Itdoesrather,’saidConnie。
  `ShallIputdinnerbackaquarterofanhour?Thatwouldgiveyoutimetodressincomfort。’
  `Perhapsyou’dbetter。’