首页 >出版文学> LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER>第11章
  `Itmustbe!Can’tbeanybodyelse’s。Anditseemstomeyoudon’tgetenoughoutofit。’
  `How?’
  `Lookatthewayyouareshutuphere。IsaidtoClifford:Ifthatchildrebelsonedayyou’llhaveyourselftothank!’
  `ButCliffordneverdeniesmeanything,’saidConnie。
  `Lookhere,mydearchild’——andLadyBennerleylaidherthinhandonConnie’sarm。`Awomanhastoliveherlife,orlivetorepentnothavinglivedit。Believeme!’Andshetookanothersipofbrandy,whichmaybewasherformofrepentance。
  `ButIdolivemylife,don’tI?’
  `Notinmyidea!CliffordshouldbringyoutoLondon,andletyougoabout。Hissortoffriendsareallrightforhim,butwhataretheyforyou?IfIwereyouIshouldthinkitwasn’tgoodenough。You’llletyouryouthslipby,andyou’llspendyouroldage,andyourmiddleagetoo,repentingit。’
  Herladyshiplapsedintocontemplativesilence,soothedbythebrandy。
  ButConniewasnotkeenongoingtoLondon,andbeingsteeredintothesmartworldbyLadyBennerley。Shedidn’tfeelreallysmart,itwasn’tinteresting。Andshedidfeelthepeculiar,witheringcoldnessunderitall;likethesoilofLabrador,whichhisgaylittleflowersonitssurface,andafootdownisfrozen。
  TommyDukeswasatWragby,andanotherman,HarryWinterslow,andJackStrangewayswithhiswifeOlive。Thetalkwasmuchmoredesultorythanwhenonlythecronieswerethere,andeverybodywasabitbored,fortheweatherwasbad,andtherewasonlybilliards,andthepianolatodanceto。
  Olivewasreadingabookaboutthefuture,whenbabieswouldbebredinbottles,andwomenwouldbe`immunized’。
  `Jollygoodthingtoo!’shesaid。`Thenawomancanliveherownlife。’
  Strangewayswantedchildren,andshedidn’t。
  `How’dyouliketobeimmunized?’Winterslowaskedher,withanuglysmile。
  `IhopeIam;naturally,’shesaid。`Anyhowthefuture’sgoingtohavemoresense,andawomanneedn’tbedraggeddownbyherfunctions。’
  `Perhapsshe’llfloatoffintospacealtogether,’saidDukes。
  `Idothinksufficientcivilizationoughttoeliminatealotofthephysicaldisabilities,’saidClifford。`Allthelove-businessforexample,itmightjustaswellgo。Isupposeitwouldifwecouldbreedbabiesinbottles。’
  `No!’criedOlive。`Thatmightleaveallthemoreroomforfun。’
  `Isuppose,’saidLadyBennerley,contemplatively,`ifthelove-businesswent,somethingelsewouldtakeitsplace。Morphia,perhaps。Alittlemorphineinalltheair。Itwouldbewonderfullyrefreshingforeverybody。’
  `ThegovernmentreleasingetherintotheaironSaturdays,foracheerfulweekend!’saidJack。`Soundsallright,butwhereshouldwebebyWednesday?’
  `Solongasyoucanforgetyourbodyyouarehappy,’saidLadyBennerley。
  `Andthemomentyoubegintobeawareofyourbody,youarewretched。So,ifcivilizationisanygood,ithastohelpustoforgetourbodies,andthentimepasseshappilywithoutourknowingit。’
  `Helpustogetridofourbodiesaltogether,’saidWinterslow。`It’squitetimemanbegantoimproveonhisownnature,especiallythephysicalsideofit。’
  `Imagineifwefloatedliketobaccosmoke,’saidConnie。
  `Itwon’thappen,’saidDukes。`Ouroldshowwillcomeflop;ourcivilizationisgoingtofall。It’sgoingdownthebottomlesspit,downthechasm。Andbelieveme,theonlybridgeacrossthechasmwillbethephallus!’
  `Ohdo!dobeimpossible,General!’criedOlive。
  `Ibelieveourcivilizationisgoingtocollapse,’saidAuntEva。
  `Andwhatwillcomeafterit?’askedClifford。
  `Ihaven’tthefaintestidea,butsomething,Isuppose,’saidtheelderlylady。
  `Conniesayspeoplelikewispsofsmoke,andOlivesaysimmunizedwomen,andbabiesinbottles,andDukessaysthephallusisthebridgetowhatcomesnext。Iwonderwhatitwillreallybe?’saidClifford。
  `Oh,don’tbother!let’sgetonwithtoday,’saidOlive。`Onlyhurryupwiththebreedingbottle,andletuspoorwomenoff。’
  `Theremightevenberealmen,inthenextphase,’saidTommy。`Real,intelligent,wholesomemen,andwholesomenicewomen!Wouldn’tthatbeachange,anenormouschangefromus?We’renotmen,andthewomenaren’twomen。We’reonlycerebratingmake-shifts,mechanicalandintellectualexperiments。Theremayevencomeacivilizationofgenuinemenandwomen,insteadofourlittlelotofclever-jacks,allattheintelligence-ageofseven。Itwouldbeevenmoreamazingthanmenofsmokeorbabiesinbottles。’
  `Oh,whenpeoplebegintotalkaboutrealwomen,Igiveup,’saidOlive。
  `Certainlynothingbutthespiritinusisworthhaving,’saidWinterslow。
  `Spirits!’saidJack,drinkinghiswhiskyandsoda。
  `Thinkso?Givemetheresurrectionofthebody!’saidDukes。
  `Butit’llcome,intime,whenwe’veshovedthecerebralstoneawayabit,themoneyandtherest。Thenwe’llgetademocracyoftouch,insteadofademocracyofpocket。’
  SomethingechoedinsideConnie:`Givemethedemocracyoftouch,theresurrectionofthebody!’Shedidn’tatallknowwhatitmeant,butitcomfortedher,asmeaninglessthingsmaydo。
  Anyhoweverythingwasterriblysilly,andshewasexasperatedlyboredbyitall,byClifford,byAuntEva,byOliveandJack,andWinterslow,andevenbyDukes。Talk,talk,talk!Whathellitwas,thecontinualrattleofit!
  Then,whenallthepeoplewent,itwasnobetter。Shecontinuedploddingon,butexasperationandirritationhadgotholdofherlowerbody,shecouldn’tescape。Thedaysseemedtogrindby,withcuriouspainfulness,yetnothinghappened。Onlyshewasgettingthinner;eventhehousekeepernoticedit,andaskedheraboutherselfEvenTommyDukesinsistedshewasnotwell,thoughshesaidshewasallright。Onlyshebegantobeafraidoftheghastlywhitetombstones,thatpeculiarloathsomewhitenessofCarraramarble,detestableasfalseteeth,whichstuckuponthehillside,underTevershallchurch,andwhichshesawwithsuchgrimpainfulnessfromthepark。Thebristlingofthehideousfalseteethoftombstonesonthehillaffectedherwithagrislykindofhorror。Shefeltthetimenotfaroffwhenshewouldbeburiedthere,addedtotheghastlyhostunderthetombstonesandthemonuments,inthesefilthyMidlands。
  Sheneededhelp,andsheknewit:soshewrotealittlecriducoeurtohersister,Hilda。`I’mnotwelllately,andIdon’tknowwhat’sthematterwithme。’
  DownpostedHildafromScotland,whereshehadtakenupherabode。ShecameinMarch,alone,drivingherselfinanimbletwo-seater。Upthedriveshecame,tootinguptheincline,thensweepingroundtheovalofgrass,wherethetwogreatwildbeech-treesstood,ontheflatinfrontofthehouse。
  Conniehadrunouttothesteps。Hildapulleduphercar,gotout,andkissedhersister。
  `ButConnie!’shecried。`Whateveristhematter?’
  `Nothing!’saidConnie,rathershamefacedly;butsheknewhowshehadsufferedincontrasttoHilda。Bothsistershadthesamerathergolden,glowingskin,andsoftbrownhair,andnaturallystrong,warmphysique。
  ButnowConniewasthinandearthy-looking,withascraggy,yellowishneck,thatstuckoutofherjumper。
  `Butyou’reill,child!’saidHilda,inthesoft,ratherbreathlessvoicethatbothsistershadalike。Hildawasnearly,butnotquite,twoyearsolderthanConnie。
  `No,notill。PerhapsI’mbored,’saidConniealittlepathetically。
  ThelightofbattleglowedinHilda’sface;shewasawoman,softandstillassheseemed,oftheoldamazonsort,notmadetofitwithmen。
  `Thiswretchedplace!’shesaidsoftly,lookingatpoor,old,lumberingWragbywithrealhate。Shelookedsoftandwarmherself,asaripepear,andshewasanamazonoftherealoldbreed。
  ShewentquietlyintoClifford。Hethoughthowhandsomeshelooked,butalsoheshrankfromher。Hiswife’sfamilydidnothavehissortofmanners,orhissortofetiquette。Heconsideredthemratheroutsiders,butoncetheygotinsidetheymadehimjumpthroughthehoop。
  Hesatsquareandwell-groomedinhischair,hishairsleekandblond,andhisfacefresh,hisblueeyespale,andalittleprominent,hisexpressioninscrutable,butwell-bred。Hildathoughtitsulkyandstupid,andhewaited。
  Hehadanairofaplomb,butHildadidn’tcarewhathehadanairof;shewasupinarms,andifhe’dbeenPopeorEmperoritwouldhavebeenjustthesame。
  `Connie’slookingawfullyunwell,’shesaidinhersoftvoice,fixinghimwithherbeautiful,gloweringgreyeyes。Shelookedsomaidenly,sodidConnie;buthewellknewthetoneofScottishobstinacyunderneath。
  `She’salittlethinner,’hesaid。
  `Haven’tyoudoneanythingaboutit?’
  `Doyouthinkitnecessary?’heasked,withhissuavestEnglishstiffness,forthetwothingsoftengotogether。
  Hildaonlygloweredathimwithoutreplying;reparteewasnotherforte,norConnie’s;sosheglowered,andhewasmuchmoreuncomfortablethanifshehadsaidthings。
  `I’lltakehertoadoctor,’saidHildaatlength。`Canyousuggestagoodoneroundhere?’
  `I’mafraidIcan’t。’
  `ThenI’lltakehertoLondon,wherewehaveadoctorwetrust。’
  Thoughboilingwithrage,Cliffordsaidnothing。
  `IsupposeImayaswellstaythenight,’saidHilda,pullingoffhergloves,`andI’lldrivehertotowntomorrow。’
  Cliffordwasyellowatthegillswithanger,andateveningthewhitesofhiseyeswerealittleyellowtoo。Herantoliver。ButHildawasconsistentlymodestandmaidenly。
  `Youmusthaveanurseorsomebody,tolookafteryoupersonally。Youshouldreallyhaveamanservant,’saidHildaastheysat,withapparentcalmness,atcoffeeafterdinner。Shespokeinhersoft,seeminglygentleway,butCliffordfeltshewashittinghimontheheadwithabludgeon。
  `Youthinkso?’hesaidcoldly。
  `I’msure!It’snecessary。Eitherthat,orFatherandImusttakeConnieawayforsomemonths。Thiscan’tgoon。’
  `Whatcan’tgoon?’
  `Haven’tyoulookedatthechild!’askedHilda,gazingathimfullstare。
  Helookedratherlikeahuge,boiledcrayfishatthemoment;orsoshethought。
  `ConnieandIwilldiscussit,’hesaid。
  `I’vealreadydiscusseditwithher,’saidHilda。
  Cliffordhadbeenlongenoughinthehandsofnurses;hehatedthem,becausetheylefthimnorealprivacy。Andamanservant!……hecouldn’tstandamanhangingroundhim。Almostbetteranywoman。ButwhynotConnie?
  Thetwosistersdroveoffinthemornin[www.kanbaapp.com]g,ConnielookingratherlikeanEasterlamb,rathersmallbesideHilda,whoheldthewheel。SirMalcolmwasaway,buttheKensingtonhousewasopen。
  ThedoctorexaminedConniecarefully,andaskedherallaboutherlife。
  `Iseeyourphotograph,andSirClifford’s,intheillustratedpaperssometimes。
  Almostnotorieties,aren’tyou?That’showthequietlittlegirlsgrowup,thoughyou’reonlyaquietlittlegirlevennow,inspiteoftheillustratedpapers。No,no!There’snothingorganicallywrong,butitwon’tdo!Itwon’tdo!TellSirCliffordhe’sgottobringyoutotown,ortakeyouabroad,andamuseyou。You’vegottobeamused,gotto!Yourvitalityismuchtoolow;noreserves,noreserves。Thenervesoftheheartabitqueeralready:oh,yes!Nothingbutnerves;I’dputyourightinamonthatCannesorBiarritz。Butitmustn’tgoon,mustn’t,Itellyou,orIwon’tbeanswerableforconsequences。You’respendingyourlifewithoutrenewingit。You’vegottobeamused,properly,healthilyamused。You’respendingyourvitalitywithoutmakingany。Can’tgoon,youknow。Depression!Avoiddepression!’
  Hildasetherjaw,andthatmeantsomething。
  Michaelisheardtheywereintown,andcamerunningwithroses。`Why,whatever’swrong?’hecried。`You’reashadowofyourself。Why,Ineversawsuchachange!Whyeverdidn’tyouletmeknow?CometoNicewithme!
  ComedowntoSicily!Goon,cometoSicilywithme。It’slovelytherejustnow。Youwantsun!Youwantlife!Why,you’rewastingaway!Comeawaywithme!CometoAfrica!Oh,hangSirClifford!Chuckhim,andcomealongwithme。I’llmarryyoutheminutehedivorcesyou。Comealongandtryalife!
  God’slove!ThatplaceWragbywouldkillanybody。Beastlyplace!Foulplace!
  Killanybody!Comeawaywithmeintothesun!It’sthesunyouwant,ofcourse,andabitofnormallife。’
  ButConnie’sheartsimplystoodstillatthethoughtofabandoningCliffordthereandthen。Shecouldn’tdoit。No……no!Shejustcouldn’t。ShehadtogobacktoWragby。
  Michaeliswasdisgusted。Hildadidn’tlikeMichaelis,butshealmostpreferredhimtoClifford。BackwentthesisterstotheMidlands。
  HildatalkedtoClifford,whostillhadyelloweyeballswhentheygotback。He,too,inhisway,wasoverwrought;buthehadtolistentoallHildasaid,toallthedoctorhadsaid,notwhatMichaelishadsaid,ofcourse,andhesatmumthroughtheultimatum。
  `Hereistheaddressofagoodmanservant,whowaswithaninvalidpatientofthedoctor’stillhediedlastmonth。Heisreallyagoodman,andfairlysuretocome。’
  `ButI’mnotaninvalid,andIwillnothaveamanservant,’
  saidClifford,poordevil。
  `Andherearetheaddressesoftwowomen;Isawoneofthem,shewoulddoverywell;awomanofaboutfifty,quiet,strong,kind,andinherwaycultured……’
  Cliffordonlysulked,andwouldnotanswer。
  `Verywell,Clifford。Ifwedon’tsettlesomethingbyto-morrow,IshalltelegraphtoFather,andweshalltakeConnieaway。’
  `WillConniego?’askedClifford。
  `Shedoesn’twantto,butsheknowsshemust。Motherdiedofcancer,broughtonbyfretting。We’renotrunninganyrisks。’
  SonextdayCliffordsuggestedMrsBolton,Tevershallparishnurse。
  ApparentlyMrsBettshadthoughtofher。MrsBoltonwasjustretiringfromherparishdutiestotakeupprivatenursingjobs。Cliffordhadaqueerdreadofdeliveringhimselfintothehandsofastranger,butthisMrsBoltonhadoncenursedhimthroughscarletfever,andheknewher。
  ThetwosistersatoncecalledonMrsBolton,inanewishhouseinarow,quiteselectforTevershall。Theyfoundarathergood-lookingwomanofforty-odd,inanurse’suniform,withawhitecollarandapron,justmakingherselfteainasmallcrowdedsitting-room。
  MrsBoltonwasmostattentiveandpolite,seemedquitenice,spokewithabitofabroadslur,butinheavilycorrectEnglish,andfromhavingbossedthesickcolliersforagoodmanyyears,hadaverygoodopinionofherself,andafairamountofassurance。Inshort,inhertinyway,oneofthegoverningclassinthevillage,verymuchrespected。