首页 >出版文学> MARY BARTON>第16章

第16章

  Well,lastnightthecountergotasorethroatandcouldn’tmakeanote。Sotheysentforme。JacobButterworthhadsaidagoodwordforme,andtheyaskedmewouldIsing?YoumaythinkIwasfrightened,butIthoughtnowornever,andsaidI’ddomybest。SoItriedo’erthesongswi’th’lecturer,andthenth’managerstoldmeIweretomakemyselfdecentandbetherebyseven。““Andwhatdidyouputon?“askedMary。“Oh,whydidn’tyoucomeinformyprettypinkgingham?““Ididthinkon’t;butyouhadnacomehomethen。No!Iputonmymerino,aswasturnedlastwinter,andmywhiteshawl,anddidmyhairprettytidy;
  itdidwellenough。Well,butasIwassaying,Iwentatseven。Icouldn’tseetoreadmymusic,butItookth’paperinwi’me,toha’somethingtodowi’myfingers。Th’folks’headsdanced,asIstoodasrightafore’emallasifI’dbeengoingtoplayatballwi’’em。YoumayguessIfeltsqueamish,butmineweren’tthefirstsong,andth’musicsoundedlikeafriend’svoicetellingmetotakecourage。So,tomakealongstoryshort,whenitwereallo’erth’lecturerthankedme,andth’managerssaidashowthereneverwasanewsingersoapplaudedforthey’dclappedandstampedafterI’ddone,tillIbegantowonderhowmanypairo’shoesthey’dgetthroughaweekatthatrate,letalonetheirhands。SoI’mtosingagaino’Thursday;andIgotasovereignlastnight,andamtohavehalf-a-sovereigneverynightth’lecturerisatth’Mechanics’。““Well,Margaret,I’mrightgladtohearit。““AndIdon’tthinkyou’veheardthebestbityet。Nowthatawayseemedopentome,ofnotbeingaburdentoanyone,thoughitdidpleaseGodtomakemeblind,IthoughtI’dtellgrandfather。Ionlytell’dhimaboutthesingingandthesovereignlastnight,forIthoughtI’dnotsendhimtobedwi’aheavyheart;butthismorningItelledhimall。““Andhowdidhetakeit?““He’snotamanofmanywords;andittookhimbysurpriselike。““Iwonderatthat;I’venoticeditinyourwayseversinceyoutelledme。“Aye,that’sitIIfI’dnottelledyou,andyou’dseenmeeveryday,you’dnotha’noticedthelittlemiteo’differencefra’daytoday。““Well,butwhatdidyourgrandfathersay?““Why,Mary,“saidMargaret,halfsmiling,“I’mabitloathtotellyo,forunlessyoknewgrandfather’swayslikeme,yo’dthinkitstrange。Hewastakenbysurprise,andhesaid:’Damnyo!’Thenhebeganlookingathisbookasitwere,andwereveryquiet,whileItelledhimallaboutit;howI’dfeared,andhowdowncastI’dbeen;andhowIwerenowreconciledtoit,ifitwereth’Lord’swill;andhowIhopedtoearnmoneybysinging;
  andwhileIweretalking,Isawgreatbigtearscomedroppingonth’book;
  butincourseIneverletonthatIsaw’em。DeargrandfatherIandalldaylonghe’sbeenquietlymovingthingsouto’myway,ashethoughtmighttripmeup,andputtingthingsinmywayashethoughtImightwant;neverknowingIsawandfeltwhatheweredoing;for,yoseehethinksI’moutandoutblind,Iguess——asIshallbesoon。“Margaretsighedinspiteofhercheerfulandrelievedtone。ThoughMarycaughtthesigh,shefeltitwasbettertoletitpasswithoutnotice,andbegan,withthetactwhichtruesympathyrarelyfailstosupply,toaskavarietyofquestionsrespectingherfriend’smusicaldebut,whichtendedtobringoutmoredistinctlyhowsuccessfulithadbeen。“Why,Margaret,“atlengthsheexclaimed,“thou’ltbecomeasfamous,maybe,asthatgrandladyfra’London,aswesee’donenightdrivinguptoth’concertroomdoorinhercarriage。““Itlooksverylikeit,“saidMargaret,withasmile。“Andbesure,Mary,I’llnotforgettogivetheealiftnowan’thenwhenthatcomesabout。
  Nay,whoknows,ifthou’rtagoodgirl,butmayhappenImaymaketheemylady’smaidIWouldn’tthatbenice?SoIe’ensingtomysel’th’beginningo’oneo’mysongs,’An’yeshallwalkinsilkattire,An’sillerhaetospare。’“Nay,don’tstop;orelsegivemesomethingrathermorenew,forsomehowIneverquitelikedthatpartaboutthinkingo’Donaldmair。““Well,thoughI’mabittir’d,Idon’tcareifIdo。BeforeIcome,IwerepractisingwellnighupontwohoursthisonewhichI’mtosingo’Thursday。
  Th’lecturersaidheweresureitwouldjustsuitme,andIshoulddojusticetoit;andIshouldberightsorrytodisappointhim,heweresoniceandencouraging1iketome。Eh!Mary,whatapitythereisn’tmoreo’thatway,andlessscoldingandratingi’th’world!Itwouldgoavastdealfurther。Beside,someo’th’singerssaid,theywerea’mostcertainthatitwereasongo’hisown,becauseheweresofidgetyandparticularaboutit,andsoanxiousIshouldgiveitth’properexpression。Andthatmakesmecarestillmore。Th’firstverse,hesaid,weretobesung’tenderly,butjoyously!’I’mafraidIdon’tquitehitthat,butI’lltry。Whatasinglewordcando!Thrillingalltheheart-stringsthrough,Callingforthfondmemories,Rainingroundhope’smelodies,Steepingallinonebrighthue——Whatasinglewordcando!Nowitfallsintoth’minorkey,andmustbeverysadlike。IfeelasifIcoulddothatbetterthant’other。Whatasinglewordcando!Makinglifeseemalluntrue,Drivingjoyandhopeaway,Leavingnotonecheeringray,Blightingeveryflowerthatgrew——Whatasinglewordcando!Margaretcertainlymadethemostofthislittlesong。Asafactoryworker,listeningoutside,observed,“Shespunitreetfine!“AndifsheonlysangitattheMechanics’withhalfthefeelingsheputintoitthatnight,thelecturermusthavebeenhardtoplease,ifhedidnotadmitthathisexpectationsweremorethanfulfilled。Whenitwasended,Mary’slookstoldmorethanwordscouldhavedonewhatshethoughtofit;andpartlytokeepinatearwhichwouldfainhaverolledout,shebrightenedintoalaugh,andsaid,“Forcertain,th’carriageiscoming。Soletusgoanddreamonit。“
  Alifeofself-indulgenceisforus,Alifeofself-denialisforthem;Forusthestreets,broad-builtandpopulous,Forthemunhealthycorners,garretsdim,Andcellarswherethewater-ratmayswim!Forusgreenpathsrefreshedbyfrequentrain,Forthemdarkalleyswherethedustliesgrim!Notdoomedbyustothisappointedpain——Godmadeusrichandpoor——ofwhatdothesecomplain?MRSNORTON,ChildoftheIslands。Thenexteveningitwasawarm,pattering,incessantrain——justtheraintowakenuptheflowers。ButinManchester,where,alas!therearenoflowers,therainhadonlyadishearteningandgloomyeffect;thestreetswerewetanddirty,thedrippingsfromthehouseswerewetanddirty,andthepeoplewerewetanddirty。Indeed,mostkeptwithindoors;andtherewasanunusualsilenceoffootstepsinthelittlepavedcourts。Maryhadtochangeherclothesafterherwalkhome;andhadhardlysettledherselfbeforesheheardsomeonefumblingatthedoor。Thenoisecontinuedlongenoughtoallowhertogetup,andgoandopenit。Therestood——coulditbe?yesitwas,herfather!Drenchedandwayworn,therehestood!HecameinwithnowordtoMaryinreturnforhercheeryandastonishedgreeting。Hesatdownbythefireinhiswetthings,unheeding。ButMarywouldnotlethimsorest。Sheranupandbroughtdownhisworkingdayclothes,andwentintothepantrytorummageuptheirlittlebitofprovisionwhilehechangedbythefire,talkingallthewhileasgailyasshecould,thoughherfather’sdepressionhunglikeleadonherheart。ForMary,inherseclusionatMissSimmonds’,——wherethechieftalkwasoffashions,anddress,andpartiestobegiven,forwhichsuchandsuchgownswouldbewanted,variedwithaslight-whisperedinterludeoccasionallyaboutloveandlovers,——hadnotheardthepoliticalnewsoftheday:thatParliamenthadrefusedtolistentotheworkingmen,whentheypetitioned,withalltheforceoftheirrough,untutoredwords,tobeheardconcerningthedistresswhichwasriding,liketheConqueroronhisPaleHorse,amongthepeople;whichwascrushingtheirlivesoutofthem,andstampingwoe-marksovertheland。Whenhehadeatenandwasrefreshed,theysatforsometimeinsilence;
  forMarywishedhimtotellherwhatoppressedhimso,yetdurstnotask。
  Inthisshewaswise;forwhenweareheavy-ladeninourheartsitfallsinbetterwithourhumourtorevealourcaseinourownway,andourowntime。Marysatonastoolatherfather’sfeetinoldchildishguise,andstoleherhandintohis,whilehissadnessinfectedher,andshe“caughtthetrickofgrief,andsighed,“sheknewnotwhy。“Mary,we’nunspeaktoourGodtohearus,formanwillnothearken;no,notnow,whenweweeptearso’blood。“InaninstantMaryunderstoodthefact,ifnotthedetails,thatsoweigheddownherfather’sheart。Shepressedhishandwithsilentsympathy。Shedidnotknowwhattosay,andwassoafraidofspeakingwrongly,thatshewassilent。Butwhenhisattitudehadremainedunchangedformorethanhalf-an-hour,hiseyesgazingvacantlyandfixedlyatthefire,nosoundbutnowandthenadeep-drawnsightobreakthewearytickingoftheclock,andthedrip-dropfromtheroofwithout,Marycouldbearitnolonger。
  Anythingtorouseherfather。Evenbadnews。“Father,doyouknowGeorgeWilson’sdead?“Herhandwassuddenlyandalmostviolentlycompressed。“HedroppeddowndeadinOxfordRoadyestermorning。It’sverysad,isn’tit,father?“Hertearswerereadytoflowasshelookedupinherfather’sfaceforsympathy。Stillthesamefixedlookofdespair,notvariedbygriefforthedead。“Bestforhimtodie,“hesaid,inalowvoice。Thiswasunbearable。MarygotupunderpretenceofgoingtotellMargaretthatsheneednotcometosleepwithherto-night,butreallytoaskJobLeghtocomeandcheerherfather。Shestoppedoutsidethedoor。Margaretwaspractisinghersinging,andthroughthestillnightairhervoicerangout,likethatofanangel:“Comfortye,comfortye,mypeople,saithyourGod。“TheoldHebrewpropheticwordsfelllikedewonMary’sheart。Shecouldnotinterrupt。Shestoodlisteningand“comforted,“tillthelittlebuzzofconversationagainbegan,andthenenteredandtoldhererrand。Bothgrandfatherandgranddaughterroseinstantlytofulfilherrequest。“He’sjusttiredout,Mary,“saidoldJob。“He’llbeadifferentmanto-morrow。“Thereisnodescribingthelooksandtonesthathavepoweroveranaching,heavy-ladenheart;butinanhourorsoJohnBartonwastalkingawayasfreelyasever,thoughallhistalkran,aswasnatural,onthedisappointmentofhisfondhope,oftheforlornhopeofmany。“Ay,London’safineplace,“saidhe,“andfinerfolkliveinitthanI
  everthoughton,oreverheerdtellonexceptinth’story-books。Theyarehavingtheirgoodthingsnow,thatafterwardstheymaybetormented。“StillattheoldparableofDivesandLazarus!Doesithauntthemindsoftherichasitdoesthoseofthepoor?“DotellusallaboutLondon,dearfather,“askedMary,whowassittingatheroldpostbyherfather’sknee。“HowcanItellyoa’aboutit,whenIneverseedone-tenthofit。It’sasbigassixManchesters,theytelledme。One-sixthmaybemadeupo’
  grandpalaces,andthree-sixth’so’middlingkind,andth’resto’holeso’iniquityandfilth,suchasManchesterknowsnoughton,I’mgladtosay。“Well,father,butdidyouseetheQueen?““IbelieveIdidn’t,thoughonedayIthoughtI’dseenhermanyatime。
  Yousee,saidhe,turningtoJobLegh,“therewereadayappointedforustogotoParliamentHouse。Weweremostonusbidingatapublic-houseinHolborn,wheretheydidverywellforus。Th’morningoftakingourpetitionwehadsuchaspreadforbreakfastasth’Queenherselmightha’
  sittendownto。Isupposetheythoughtwewantedputtinginheart。Thereweremuttonkidneys,andsausages,andbroiledham,andfriedbeefandonions;morelikeadinnernorabreakfast。Manyonourchapsthough,I
  couldsee,couldeatbutlittle。Th’foodstuckintheirthroatswhentheythoughto’themathome,wivesandlittleones,ashad,maybeatthatverytime,noughttoeat,Well,afterbreakfast,wewereallsettowalkinprocession,andatimeittooktoputusinorder,twoandtwo,andthepetition,aswasyardslong,carriedbyth’foremostpairs。Themenlookedgraveenough,yomaybesure;andsuchasetofthin,wan,wretched-lookingchapsastheywere!““Yourselfisnonetoboaston。““Aye,butIwerefatandrosytomanyaone。Well,wewalkedonandonthroughmanyastreet,muchthesameasDeansgate。Wehadtowalkslowly,slowly,forth’carriagesan’cabsasthrongedth’streets。Ithoughtbyandbyweshouldmaybegetclearon’em,butasthestreetsgrewwidertheygrewworse,andatlastwewerefairlyblockedupatOxfordStreet。