首页 >出版文学> Mansfield Parkby>第72章

第72章

  “AndMrs。Grant,didshesay——didshespeak;wasshethereallthetime?“
  “Yes,shewasagreeingexactlywithhersister。Thesurpriseofyourrefusal,Fanny,seemstohavebeenunbounded。
  ThatyoucouldrefusesuchamanasHenryCrawfordseemsmorethantheycanunderstand。IsaidwhatIcouldforyou;
  butingoodtruth,astheystatedthecase——youmustproveyourselftobeinyoursensesassoonasyoucanbyadifferentconduct;nothingelsewillsatisfythem。
  Butthisisteasingyou。Ihavedone。Donotturnawayfromme。“
  “I_should_havethought,“saidFanny,afterapauseofrecollectionandexertion,“thateverywomanmusthavefeltthepossibilityofaman’snotbeingapproved,notbeinglovedbysomeoneofhersexatleast,lethimbeeversogenerallyagreeable。Lethimhavealltheperfectionsintheworld,Ithinkitoughtnottobesetdownascertainthatamanmustbeacceptabletoeverywomanhemayhappentolikehimself。But,evensupposingitisso,allowingMr。Crawfordtohavealltheclaimswhichhissistersthinkhehas,howwasItobepreparedtomeethimwithanyfeelinganswerabletohisown?
  Hetookmewhollybysurprise。Ihadnotanideathathisbehaviourtomebeforehadanymeaning;andsurelyI
  wasnottobeteachingmyselftolikehimonlybecausehewastakingwhatseemedveryidlenoticeofme。
  Inmysituation,itwouldhavebeentheextremeofvanitytobeformingexpectationsonMr。Crawford。Iamsurehissisters,ratinghimastheydo,musthavethoughtitso,supposinghehadmeantnothing。How,then,wasItobe——
  tobeinlovewithhimthemomenthesaidhewaswithme?
  HowwasItohaveanattachmentathisservice,assoonasitwasaskedfor?Hissistersshouldconsidermeaswellashim。Thehigherhisdeserts,themoreimproperformeevertohavethoughtofhim。And,and——wethinkverydifferentlyofthenatureofwomen,iftheycanimagineawomansoverysooncapableofreturninganaffectionasthisseemstoimply。“
  “Mydear,dearFanny,nowIhavethetruth。Iknowthistobethetruth;andmostworthyofyouaresuchfeelings。
  Ihadattributedthemtoyoubefore。IthoughtIcouldunderstandyou。YouhavenowgivenexactlytheexplanationwhichIventuredtomakeforyoutoyourfriendandMrs。Grant,andtheywerebothbettersatisfied,thoughyourwarm-heartedfriendwasstillrunawaywithalittlebytheenthusiasmofherfondnessforHenry。Itoldthemthatyouwereofallhumancreaturestheoneoverwhomhabithadmostpowerandnoveltyleast;andthattheverycircumstanceofthenoveltyofCrawford’saddresseswasagainsthim。
  Theirbeingsonewandsorecentwasallintheirdisfavour;
  thatyoucouldtoleratenothingthatyouwerenotusedto;
  andagreatdealmoretothesamepurpose,togivethemaknowledgeofyourcharacter。MissCrawfordmadeuslaughbyherplansofencouragementforherbrother。
  Shemeanttourgehimtopersevereinthehopeofbeinglovedintime,andofhavinghisaddressesmostkindlyreceivedattheendofabouttenyears’happymarriage。“
  Fannycouldwithdifficultygivethesmilethatwashereaskedfor。Herfeelingswereallinrevolt。
  Shefearedshehadbeendoingwrong:sayingtoomuch,overactingthecautionwhichshehadbeenfancyingnecessary;
  inguardingagainstoneevil,layingherselfopentoanother;andtohaveMissCrawford’slivelinessrepeatedtoheratsuchamoment,andonsuchasubject,wasabitteraggravation。
  Edmundsawwearinessanddistressinherface,andimmediatelyresolvedtoforbearallfartherdiscussion;
  andnoteventomentionthenameofCrawfordagain,exceptasitmightbeconnectedwithwhat_must_beagreeabletoher。Onthisprinciple,hesoonafterwardsobserved——
  “TheygoonMonday。Youaresure,therefore,ofseeingyourfriendeitherto-morroworSunday。TheyreallygoonMonday;andIwaswithinatrifleofbeingpersuadedtostayatLessingbytillthatveryday!Ihadalmostpromisedit。Whatadifferenceitmighthavemade!
  ThosefiveorsixdaysmoreatLessingbymighthavebeenfeltallmylife。“
  “Youwerenearstayingthere?“
  “Very。Iwasmostkindlypressed,andhadnearlyconsented。
  HadIreceivedanyletterfromMansfield,totellmehowyouwereallgoingon,IbelieveIshouldcertainlyhavestaid;
  butIknewnothingthathadhappenedhereforafortnight,andfeltthatIhadbeenawaylongenough。“
  “Youspentyourtimepleasantlythere?“
  “Yes;thatis,itwasthefaultofmyownmindifIdidnot。
  Theywereallverypleasant。Idoubttheirfindingmeso。
  Itookuneasinesswithme,andtherewasnogettingridofittillIwasinMansfieldagain。“
  “TheMissOwens——youlikedthem,didnotyou?“
  “Yes,verywell。Pleasant,good-humoured,unaffectedgirls。
  ButIamspoilt,Fanny,forcommonfemalesociety。
  Good-humoured,unaffectedgirlswillnotdoforamanwhohasbeenusedtosensiblewomen。Theyaretwodistinctordersofbeing。YouandMissCrawfordhavemademetoonice。“
  Still,however,Fannywasoppressedandwearied;
  hesawitinherlooks,itcouldnotbetalkedaway;
  andattemptingitnomore,heledherdirectly,withthekindauthorityofaprivilegedguardian,intothehouse。
  EdmundnowbelievedhimselfperfectlyacquaintedwithallthatFannycouldtell,orcouldleavetobeconjecturedofhersentiments,andhewassatisfied。Ithadbeen,ashebeforepresumed,toohastyameasureonCrawford’sside,andtimemustbegiventomaketheideafirstfamiliar,andthenagreeabletoher。Shemustbeusedtotheconsiderationofhisbeinginlovewithher,andthenareturnofaffectionmightnotbeverydistant。
  Hegavethisopinionastheresultoftheconversationtohisfather;andrecommendedtherebeingnothingmoresaidtoher:nofartherattemptstoinfluenceorpersuade;
  butthateverythingshouldbelefttoCrawford’sassiduities,andthenaturalworkingsofherownmind。
  SirThomaspromisedthatitshouldbeso。Edmund’saccountofFanny’sdispositionhecouldbelievetobejust;
  hesupposedshehadallthosefeelings,buthemustconsideritasveryunfortunatethatshe_had_;for,lesswillingthanhissontotrusttothefuture,hecouldnothelpfearingthatifsuchverylongallowancesoftimeandhabitwerenecessaryforher,shemightnothavepersuadedherselfintoreceivinghisaddressesproperlybeforetheyoungman’sinclinationforpayingthemwereover。
  Therewasnothingtobedone,however,buttosubmitquietlyandhopethebest。
  Thepromisedvisitfrom“herfriend,“asEdmundcalledMissCrawford,wasaformidablethreattoFanny,andshelivedincontinualterrorofit。Asasister,sopartialandsoangry,andsolittlescrupulousofwhatshesaid,andinanotherlightsotriumphantandsecure,shewasineverywayanobjectofpainfulalarm。
  Herdispleasure,herpenetration,andherhappinesswereallfearfultoencounter;andthedependenceofhavingotherspresentwhentheymetwasFanny’sonlysupportinlookingforwardtoit。SheabsentedherselfaslittleaspossiblefromLadyBertram,keptawayfromtheEastroom,andtooknosolitarywalkintheshrubbery,inhercautiontoavoidanysuddenattack。
  Shesucceeded。Shewassafeinthebreakfast-room,withheraunt,whenMissCrawforddidcome;andthefirstmiseryover,andMissCrawfordlookingandspeakingwithmuchlessparticularityofexpressionthanshehadanticipated,Fannybegantohopetherewouldbenothingworsetobeenduredthanahalf-hourofmoderateagitation。
  Buthereshehopedtoomuch;MissCrawfordwasnottheslaveofopportunity。ShewasdeterminedtoseeFannyalone,andthereforesaidtohertolerablysoon,inalowvoice,“Imustspeaktoyouforafewminutessomewhere“;
  wordsthatFannyfeltalloverher,inallherpulsesandallhernerves。Denialwasimpossible。Herhabitsofreadysubmission,onthecontrary,madeheralmostinstantlyriseandleadthewayoutoftheroom。
  Shediditwithwretchedfeelings,butitwasinevitable。
  TheywerenosoonerinthehallthanallrestraintofcountenancewasoveronMissCrawford’sside。
  SheimmediatelyshookherheadatFannywitharch,yetaffectionatereproach,andtakingherhand,seemedhardlyabletohelpbeginningdirectly。
  Shesaidnothing,however,but,“Sad,sadgirl!
  IdonotknowwhenIshallhavedonescoldingyou,“