Withinit,featuredevenindeathdine,Islyingadeadinfant,slainbythee。
NotsolelythattheFutureshedestroys,AndthefairlifewhichinthedistanceliesForallmen,beckoningoutfromdimrichskies:
Northatthepassinghour’ssupportingjoysHavelostthekeen-edgedflavour,whichbegatDistinctioninoldtimes,andstillshouldbreedSweetMemory,andHope,——earth’smodestseed,Andheaven’shigh-prompting:notthattheworldisflatSincethatsoft-luringcreatureIembracedAmongthechildrenofIllusionwent:
MethinkswithallthislossIwerecontent,IfthemadPast,onwhichmyfootisbased,Werefirm,ormightbeblotted:butthewholeOflifeismed:themockingPastwillstay:
AndifIdrinkoblionofaday,SoshortenIthestatureofmysoul。
’IplayforSeasons;notEternities!’
SaysNature,laughingonherway。’SomustAllthosewhosestakeisnothingmorethandust!’
Andlo,shewins,andofherharmoniesSheisfullsure!UponherdyingroseShedropsalookoffondness,andgoesby,Scarceanyretrospectioninhereye;
Forshethelawsofgrowthmostdeeplyknows,Whosehandsbear,here,aseed-bag——there,anurn。
Pledgedsheherselftoaught,’twouldmarkherend!
ThislessonofouronlysiblefriendCanwenotteachourfoolishheartstolearn?
Yes!yes!——but,oh,ourhumanroseisfairSurpassingly!LosecalmlyLove’sgreatbliss,WhentherenewedforeverofakissWhirlslifewithintheshowerofloosenedhair!
WhatsoulwouldbargainforacurethatbringsContemptthenobleragonytokill?
Ratherletmebearonthebitterill,Andstrikethisrustybosomwithnewstings!
Itseemsthereisanotherveeringfit,Sinceonagold-hairedlady’seyeballspureIlookedwithlittleprospectofacure,Thewhilehermouth’sredbowloosedshaftsofwit。
Justheaven!canitbetruethatjealousyHasdeckedthewomanthus?anddoesherheadSwimsomewhatforpossessionsforfeited?
Madam,youteachmemanythingsthatbe。
Iopenanoldbook,andthereIfindThat’Womenstillmaylovewhomtheydecee。’
SuchloveIprizenot,madam:byyourleave,Thegameyouplayatisnottomymind。
Ithinkshesleeps:itmustbesleep,whenlowHangsthatabandonedarmtowardthefloor;
Thefaceturnedwithit。Nowmakefastthedoor。
Sleepon:itisyourhusband,notyourfoe。
ThePoet’sblackstage-lionofwrongedloveFrightsnotourmoderndames:-wellifhedid!
NowwillIpournewlightuponthatlid,Full-slopinglikethebreastsbeneath。’Sweetdove,Yoursleepispure。Nay,pardon:Idisturb。
Idonot?good!’Herwakinginfant-stareGrowswomantotheburdenmyhandsbear:
HerownhandwritingtomewhennocurbWasleftonPassion’stongue。Shetremblesthrough;
Awoman’stremble——thewholeinstrument:-
Ishowanotherletterlatelysent。
Thewordsareverylike:thenameisnew。I
ouroldshipwreckeddaystherewasanhour,Wheninthefirelightsteadilyaglow,Joinedslackly,webeheldtheredchasmgrowAmongtheclickingcoals。Ourlibrary-bowerThatevewaslefttous:andhushedwesatAsloverstowhomTimeiswhispering。
Fromsudden-openeddoorsweheardthemsing:
Thenoddingeldersmedgoodwinewithchat。
WellknewwethatLife’sgreatesttreasurelayWithus,andofitwasourtalk。’Ah,yes!
Lovedies!’Isaid:Ineverthoughtitless。
Sheyearnedtomethatsentencetounsay。
Thenwhenthefiredomedblackening,IfoundHercheekwassaltagainstmykiss,andswiftUpthesharpscaleofsobsherbreastdidlift:-
NowamIhauntedbythattaste!thatsound!
Atdinner,sheishostess,Iamhost。
Wentthefeastevercheerfuller?ShekeepsTheTopicoverintellectualdeepsInbuoyancyafloat。Theyseenoghost。
Withsparklingsurface-eyesweplytheball:
Itisintruthamostcontagiousgame:
HIDINGTHESKELETON,shallbeitsname。
Suchplayasthisthedelsmightappal!
Buthere’sthegreaterwonder;inthatwe,Enamouredofanactingnoughtcantire,Eachother,liketruehypocrites,admire;
Warm-lightedlooks,Love’sephemerioe,Shootgailyo’erthedishesandthewine。
Wewakenenvyofourhappylot。
Fast,sweet,andgolden,showsthemarriage-knot。
Dearguests,younowhaveseenLove’scorpse-lightshine。
HereJackandTomarepairedwithMollandMeg。
Curvedopentotherer-reachisseenAcountrymerry-makingonthegreen。
Fairspaceforsignalshakingsoftheleg。
Thatlittlescrewyfiddlerfromhisbooth,Whenceflowsonenut-brownstream,commandsthejointsOfallwhocaperhereatvariouspoints。
Ihaveknownrusticrevelsinmyyouth:
TheMay-flypleasuresofamindatease。
Anearlygoddesswasacountrylass:
AcharmedAmphion-oakshetrippedthegrass。
WhatlifewasthatIled?Thelifeofthese?
Heavenkeepthemhappy!Naturetheyseemnear。
Theymust,Ithink,bewiserthanIam;
Theyhavethesecretofthebullandlamb。
’Tistruethatwhenwetraceitssource,’tisbeer。
Nostateisenable。TotheluckaloneOfsomefewfavouredmenIwouldputclaim。
Ibleed,butherwhowoundsIwillnotblame。
HaveInotfeltherheartas’tweremyownBeatthro’me?couldIhurther?heavenandhell!
ButIcouldhurthercruelly!CanIletMyLove’soldtime-piecetoanotherset,Swearitcan’tstop,andmustforeverswell?
Sure,that’sonewayLovedriftsintothemartWheregoat-leggedbuyersthrong。Iseenotplain:-
Mymeaningis,itmustnotbeagain。
GreatGod!themaddestgamblerthrowshisheart。
Ifanystatebeenableonearth,’Tisyonbornidiot’s,who,asdaysgoby,Stillrubshishandsbeforehim,likeafly,Inaqueersortofmeditatemirth。
IamnotofthosemiserablemalesWhosniffatceand,daringnottosnap,Dothereforehopeforheaven。ItakethehapOfallmydeeds。ThewindthatfillsmysailsPropels;butIamhelmsman。AmIwrecked,IknowthedelhassufficientweightTobear:Ilayitnotonhim,orfate。
Besides,he’sdamned。ThatmanIdosuspectAcoward,whowouldburdenthepoordeuceWithwhatensuesfromhisownslipperiness。
Ihavejustfoundawanton-scentedtressInanolddesk,dustyforlackofuse。
Ofdaysandnightsitisdemonstrate,That,likesomeagedstar,gleamluridly。
IfforthosetimesImustaskcharity,HaveInotanycharitytoge?
Wethreeareonthecedar-shadowedlawn;
Myfriendbeingthird。HewhoatloveoncelaughedIsintheweakribbyafatalshaftStruckthrough,andtellshispassion’sbashfuldawnAndradiantculmination,gloriouscrown,When’this’shesaid:went’thus’:mostwondrousshe。
Oureyesgrowwhite,encountering:thatwearethree,Forgetful;thentogetherwelookdown。
Buthedemandsourblessing;isconncedThatwordsofweddedloversmustbringgood。
Wequestion;ifwedare!orifweshould!
Andpathim,withlightlaugh。Wehavenotwinced。
Next,shehasfallen。FaintingpointsthesignTohappythingsinwedlock。Whenshewakes,Shelooksthestarthatthro’thecedarshakes:
Herlostmoisthandclingsmortallytomine。
Whatmaythewomanlabourtoconfess?
Thereisabouthermouthanervoustwitch。
’Tissomethingtobetold,orhidden:-which?
Igetaglimpseofhellinthismildguess。
Shehasdesiresoftouch,asiftofeelThatallthehouseholdthingsarethingssheknew。
Shestopsbeforetheglass。Whatsightinew?
Afacethatseemsthelatesttoreveal!
Forsheturnsfromithastily,andtossedIrresolutestealsshadow-liketowhereIstand;andwaveringpalebeforemethere,Hertearsfallstillasoak-leavesafterfrost。
Shewillnotspeak。Iwillnotask。WeareLeague-sunderedbythesilentgulfbetween。
Youburlyloversonthellagegreen,Yoursisalower,andahappierstar!
’TisChristmasweather,andacountryhouseReceesus:roomsarefull:wecanbutgetAnattic-crib。SuchloverswillnotfretAtthat,itishalf-said。ThegreatcarouseKnocksharduponthemidnight’shollowdoor,ButwhenIknockathers,Iseethepit。
WhydidIcomehereinthatdullardfit?
Ienter,andliecoucheduponthefloor。
Passing,Icaughtthecoverlet’squickbeat:-
Come,Shame,burntomysoul!andPride,andPain-
Fouldemonsthathavetorturedme,enchain!
Outinthefreezingdarknessthelambsbleat。
Thesmallbirdstiffensinthelowstarlight。
Iknownothow,butshudderingasIslept,Idreamedabanishedangeltomecrept:
Myfeetwerenourishedonherbreastsallnight。
Themiseryisgreater,asIle!
Toknowherfleshsopure,sokeenhersense,Thatshedoespenancenowfornooffence,SaveagainstLove。ThelesscanIforge!
ThelesscanIforge,thoughIadoreThatcruellovelypallorwhichsurroundsHerfootsteps;andthelowbratingsoundsThatcomeonme,asfromamagicshore。
Lowarethey,butmostsubtletofindoutTheshrinkingsoul。Madam,’tisunderstoodWhenwomenplayupontheirwomanhood,Itmeans,aSeasongone。AndyetIdoubtButIamduped。Thatnun-likelookwaylaysMyfancy。Oh!Idobutwaitasign!
Pluckouttheeyesofpride!thymouthtomine!
Never!thoughIdiethirsting。Gothyways!
YoulikenotthatFrenchnovel?Tellmewhy。
Youthinkitquiteunnatural。Letussee。
Theactorsare,itseems,theusualthree:
Husband,andwife,andlover。She——butfie!
InEnglandwe’llnothearofit。Edmond,Thelover,herdevoutchagrindothshare;
Blanc-mangeandabsinthearehispenitentfare,Tillhispaleaspectmakesherover-fond:
So,toprecludefreshsin,hetriesrosbif。
Meantimethehusbandisnomoreabused:
Augusteforgeshererethetearisused。
ThenhangethallononetremendousIF:-
IFshewillchoosebetweenthem。Shedoeschoose;
Andtakesherhusband,likeaproperwife。
Unnatural?Mydear,thesethingsarelife:
Andlife,somethink,isworthyoftheMuse。
Loveerehebleeds,aneagleinhighskies,Hasearthbeneathhiswings:fromreddenedeveHeewstherosydawn。InvaintheyweaveThefatalwebbelowwhilefarheflies。
第15章