首页 >出版文学> M119>第15章

第15章

  Withinit,featuredevenindeathdine,Islyingadeadinfant,slainbythee。
  NotsolelythattheFutureshedestroys,AndthefairlifewhichinthedistanceliesForallmen,beckoningoutfromdimrichskies:
  Northatthepassinghour’ssupportingjoysHavelostthekeen-edgedflavour,whichbegatDistinctioninoldtimes,andstillshouldbreedSweetMemory,andHope,——earth’smodestseed,Andheaven’shigh-prompting:notthattheworldisflatSincethatsoft-luringcreatureIembracedAmongthechildrenofIllusionwent:
  MethinkswithallthislossIwerecontent,IfthemadPast,onwhichmyfootisbased,Werefirm,ormightbeblotted:butthewholeOflifeismed:themockingPastwillstay:
  AndifIdrinkoblionofaday,SoshortenIthestatureofmysoul。
  ’IplayforSeasons;notEternities!’
  SaysNature,laughingonherway。’SomustAllthosewhosestakeisnothingmorethandust!’
  Andlo,shewins,andofherharmoniesSheisfullsure!UponherdyingroseShedropsalookoffondness,andgoesby,Scarceanyretrospectioninhereye;
  Forshethelawsofgrowthmostdeeplyknows,Whosehandsbear,here,aseed-bag——there,anurn。
  Pledgedsheherselftoaught,’twouldmarkherend!
  ThislessonofouronlysiblefriendCanwenotteachourfoolishheartstolearn?
  Yes!yes!——but,oh,ourhumanroseisfairSurpassingly!LosecalmlyLove’sgreatbliss,WhentherenewedforeverofakissWhirlslifewithintheshowerofloosenedhair!
  WhatsoulwouldbargainforacurethatbringsContemptthenobleragonytokill?
  Ratherletmebearonthebitterill,Andstrikethisrustybosomwithnewstings!
  Itseemsthereisanotherveeringfit,Sinceonagold-hairedlady’seyeballspureIlookedwithlittleprospectofacure,Thewhilehermouth’sredbowloosedshaftsofwit。
  Justheaven!canitbetruethatjealousyHasdeckedthewomanthus?anddoesherheadSwimsomewhatforpossessionsforfeited?
  Madam,youteachmemanythingsthatbe。
  Iopenanoldbook,andthereIfindThat’Womenstillmaylovewhomtheydecee。’
  SuchloveIprizenot,madam:byyourleave,Thegameyouplayatisnottomymind。
  Ithinkshesleeps:itmustbesleep,whenlowHangsthatabandonedarmtowardthefloor;
  Thefaceturnedwithit。Nowmakefastthedoor。
  Sleepon:itisyourhusband,notyourfoe。
  ThePoet’sblackstage-lionofwrongedloveFrightsnotourmoderndames:-wellifhedid!
  NowwillIpournewlightuponthatlid,Full-slopinglikethebreastsbeneath。’Sweetdove,Yoursleepispure。Nay,pardon:Idisturb。
  Idonot?good!’Herwakinginfant-stareGrowswomantotheburdenmyhandsbear:
  HerownhandwritingtomewhennocurbWasleftonPassion’stongue。Shetremblesthrough;
  Awoman’stremble——thewholeinstrument:-
  Ishowanotherletterlatelysent。
  Thewordsareverylike:thenameisnew。I
  ouroldshipwreckeddaystherewasanhour,Wheninthefirelightsteadilyaglow,Joinedslackly,webeheldtheredchasmgrowAmongtheclickingcoals。Ourlibrary-bowerThatevewaslefttous:andhushedwesatAsloverstowhomTimeiswhispering。
  Fromsudden-openeddoorsweheardthemsing:
  Thenoddingeldersmedgoodwinewithchat。
  WellknewwethatLife’sgreatesttreasurelayWithus,andofitwasourtalk。’Ah,yes!
  Lovedies!’Isaid:Ineverthoughtitless。
  Sheyearnedtomethatsentencetounsay。
  Thenwhenthefiredomedblackening,IfoundHercheekwassaltagainstmykiss,andswiftUpthesharpscaleofsobsherbreastdidlift:-
  NowamIhauntedbythattaste!thatsound!
  Atdinner,sheishostess,Iamhost。
  Wentthefeastevercheerfuller?ShekeepsTheTopicoverintellectualdeepsInbuoyancyafloat。Theyseenoghost。
  Withsparklingsurface-eyesweplytheball:
  Itisintruthamostcontagiousgame:
  HIDINGTHESKELETON,shallbeitsname。
  Suchplayasthisthedelsmightappal!
  Buthere’sthegreaterwonder;inthatwe,Enamouredofanactingnoughtcantire,Eachother,liketruehypocrites,admire;
  Warm-lightedlooks,Love’sephemerioe,Shootgailyo’erthedishesandthewine。
  Wewakenenvyofourhappylot。
  Fast,sweet,andgolden,showsthemarriage-knot。
  Dearguests,younowhaveseenLove’scorpse-lightshine。
  HereJackandTomarepairedwithMollandMeg。
  Curvedopentotherer-reachisseenAcountrymerry-makingonthegreen。
  Fairspaceforsignalshakingsoftheleg。
  Thatlittlescrewyfiddlerfromhisbooth,Whenceflowsonenut-brownstream,commandsthejointsOfallwhocaperhereatvariouspoints。
  Ihaveknownrusticrevelsinmyyouth:
  TheMay-flypleasuresofamindatease。
  Anearlygoddesswasacountrylass:
  AcharmedAmphion-oakshetrippedthegrass。
  WhatlifewasthatIled?Thelifeofthese?
  Heavenkeepthemhappy!Naturetheyseemnear。
  Theymust,Ithink,bewiserthanIam;
  Theyhavethesecretofthebullandlamb。
  ’Tistruethatwhenwetraceitssource,’tisbeer。
  Nostateisenable。TotheluckaloneOfsomefewfavouredmenIwouldputclaim。
  Ibleed,butherwhowoundsIwillnotblame。
  HaveInotfeltherheartas’tweremyownBeatthro’me?couldIhurther?heavenandhell!
  ButIcouldhurthercruelly!CanIletMyLove’soldtime-piecetoanotherset,Swearitcan’tstop,andmustforeverswell?
  Sure,that’sonewayLovedriftsintothemartWheregoat-leggedbuyersthrong。Iseenotplain:-
  Mymeaningis,itmustnotbeagain。
  GreatGod!themaddestgamblerthrowshisheart。
  Ifanystatebeenableonearth,’Tisyonbornidiot’s,who,asdaysgoby,Stillrubshishandsbeforehim,likeafly,Inaqueersortofmeditatemirth。
  IamnotofthosemiserablemalesWhosniffatceand,daringnottosnap,Dothereforehopeforheaven。ItakethehapOfallmydeeds。ThewindthatfillsmysailsPropels;butIamhelmsman。AmIwrecked,IknowthedelhassufficientweightTobear:Ilayitnotonhim,orfate。
  Besides,he’sdamned。ThatmanIdosuspectAcoward,whowouldburdenthepoordeuceWithwhatensuesfromhisownslipperiness。
  Ihavejustfoundawanton-scentedtressInanolddesk,dustyforlackofuse。
  Ofdaysandnightsitisdemonstrate,That,likesomeagedstar,gleamluridly。
  IfforthosetimesImustaskcharity,HaveInotanycharitytoge?
  Wethreeareonthecedar-shadowedlawn;
  Myfriendbeingthird。HewhoatloveoncelaughedIsintheweakribbyafatalshaftStruckthrough,andtellshispassion’sbashfuldawnAndradiantculmination,gloriouscrown,When’this’shesaid:went’thus’:mostwondrousshe。
  Oureyesgrowwhite,encountering:thatwearethree,Forgetful;thentogetherwelookdown。
  Buthedemandsourblessing;isconncedThatwordsofweddedloversmustbringgood。
  Wequestion;ifwedare!orifweshould!
  Andpathim,withlightlaugh。Wehavenotwinced。
  Next,shehasfallen。FaintingpointsthesignTohappythingsinwedlock。Whenshewakes,Shelooksthestarthatthro’thecedarshakes:
  Herlostmoisthandclingsmortallytomine。
  Whatmaythewomanlabourtoconfess?
  Thereisabouthermouthanervoustwitch。
  ’Tissomethingtobetold,orhidden:-which?
  Igetaglimpseofhellinthismildguess。
  Shehasdesiresoftouch,asiftofeelThatallthehouseholdthingsarethingssheknew。
  Shestopsbeforetheglass。Whatsightinew?
  Afacethatseemsthelatesttoreveal!
  Forsheturnsfromithastily,andtossedIrresolutestealsshadow-liketowhereIstand;andwaveringpalebeforemethere,Hertearsfallstillasoak-leavesafterfrost。
  Shewillnotspeak。Iwillnotask。WeareLeague-sunderedbythesilentgulfbetween。
  Youburlyloversonthellagegreen,Yoursisalower,andahappierstar!
  ’TisChristmasweather,andacountryhouseReceesus:roomsarefull:wecanbutgetAnattic-crib。SuchloverswillnotfretAtthat,itishalf-said。ThegreatcarouseKnocksharduponthemidnight’shollowdoor,ButwhenIknockathers,Iseethepit。
  WhydidIcomehereinthatdullardfit?
  Ienter,andliecoucheduponthefloor。
  Passing,Icaughtthecoverlet’squickbeat:-
  Come,Shame,burntomysoul!andPride,andPain-
  Fouldemonsthathavetorturedme,enchain!
  Outinthefreezingdarknessthelambsbleat。
  Thesmallbirdstiffensinthelowstarlight。
  Iknownothow,butshudderingasIslept,Idreamedabanishedangeltomecrept:
  Myfeetwerenourishedonherbreastsallnight。
  Themiseryisgreater,asIle!
  Toknowherfleshsopure,sokeenhersense,Thatshedoespenancenowfornooffence,SaveagainstLove。ThelesscanIforge!
  ThelesscanIforge,thoughIadoreThatcruellovelypallorwhichsurroundsHerfootsteps;andthelowbratingsoundsThatcomeonme,asfromamagicshore。
  Lowarethey,butmostsubtletofindoutTheshrinkingsoul。Madam,’tisunderstoodWhenwomenplayupontheirwomanhood,Itmeans,aSeasongone。AndyetIdoubtButIamduped。Thatnun-likelookwaylaysMyfancy。Oh!Idobutwaitasign!
  Pluckouttheeyesofpride!thymouthtomine!
  Never!thoughIdiethirsting。Gothyways!
  YoulikenotthatFrenchnovel?Tellmewhy。
  Youthinkitquiteunnatural。Letussee。
  Theactorsare,itseems,theusualthree:
  Husband,andwife,andlover。She——butfie!
  InEnglandwe’llnothearofit。Edmond,Thelover,herdevoutchagrindothshare;
  Blanc-mangeandabsinthearehispenitentfare,Tillhispaleaspectmakesherover-fond:
  So,toprecludefreshsin,hetriesrosbif。
  Meantimethehusbandisnomoreabused:
  Augusteforgeshererethetearisused。
  ThenhangethallononetremendousIF:-
  IFshewillchoosebetweenthem。Shedoeschoose;
  Andtakesherhusband,likeaproperwife。
  Unnatural?Mydear,thesethingsarelife:
  Andlife,somethink,isworthyoftheMuse。
  Loveerehebleeds,aneagleinhighskies,Hasearthbeneathhiswings:fromreddenedeveHeewstherosydawn。InvaintheyweaveThefatalwebbelowwhilefarheflies。