首页 >出版文学> Twelve Stories and a Dream>第41章
  accursedlife;andTHERE——somewherelosttome——thingswerehappening——momentous,terriblethings……Ilivedatnights——mydays,mywakingdays,thislifeIamlivingnow,becameafaded,far-awaydream,adrabsetting,thecoverofthebook。“
  Hethought。
  “Icouldtellyouall,tellyoueverylittlethinginthedream,butastowhatIdidinthedaytime——no。Icouldnottell——Idonotremember。Mymemory——mymemoryhasgone。Thebusinessoflifeslipsfromme——“
  Heleantforward,andpressedhishandsuponhiseyes。Foralongtimehesaidnothing。
  “Andthen?“saidI。
  “Thewarburstlikeahurricane。“
  Hestaredbeforehimatunspeakablethings。
  “Andthen?“Iurgedagain。
  “Onetouchofunreality,“hesaid,inthelowtoneofamanwhospeakstohimself,“andtheywouldhavebeennightmares。Buttheywerenotnightmares——theywerenotnightmares。NO!“
  Hewassilentforsolongthatitdawneduponmethattherewasadangeroflosingtherestofthestory。Buthewentontalkingagaininthesametoneofquestioningself-communion。
  “Whatwastheretodobutflight?IhadnotthoughtthewarwouldtouchCapri——IhadseemedtoseeCapriasbeingoutofitall,asthecontrasttoitall;buttwonightsafterthewholeplacewasshoutingandbawling,everywomanalmostandeveryothermanworeabadge——Evesham’sbadge——andtherewasnomusicbutajanglingwar-songoverandoveragain,andeverywheremenenlisting,andinthedancinghallstheyweredrilling。Thewholeislandwasawhirlwithrumours;itwassaid,againandagain,thatfightinghadbegun。
  Ihadnotexpectedthis。IhadseensolittleofthelifeofpleasurethatIhadfailedtoreckonwiththisviolenceoftheamateurs。
  Andasforme,Iwasoutofit。Iwaslikeamanwhomighthavepreventedthefiringofamagazine。Thetimehadgone。Iwasnoone;
  thevaineststriplingwithabadgecountedformorethanI。Thecrowdjostledusandbawledinourears;thataccursedsongdeafenedus;
  awomanshriekedatmyladybecausenobadgewasonher,andwetwowentbacktoourownplaceagain,ruffledandinsulted——
  myladywhiteandsilent,andIaquiverwithrage。SofuriouswasI,IcouldhavequarrelledwithherifIcouldhavefoundoneshadeofaccusationinhereyes。
  “Allmymagnificencehadgonefromme。Iwalkedupanddownourrockcell,andoutsidewasthedarklingseaandalighttothesouthwardthatflaredandpassedandcameagain。
  “’Wemustgetoutofthisplace,’Isaidoverandover。’Ihavemademychoice,andIwillhavenohandinthesetroubles。Iwillhavenothingofthiswar。Wehavetakenourlivesoutofallthesethings。Thisisnorefugeforus。Letusgo。’
  “Andthenextdaywewerealreadyinflightfromthewarthatcoveredtheworld。
  “AndalltherestwasFlight——alltherestwasFlight。“
  Hemuseddarkly。
  “Howmuchwasthereofit?“
  Hemadenoanswer。
  “Howmanydays?“
  Hisfacewaswhiteanddrawnandhishandswereclenched。Hetooknoheedofmycuriosity。
  Itriedtodrawhimbacktohisstorywithquestions。
  “Wheredidyougo?“Isaid。
  “When?“
  “WhenyouleftCapri。“
  “Southwest,“hesaid,andglancedatmeforasecond。“Wewentinaboat。“
  “ButIshouldhavethoughtanaeroplane?“
  “Theyhadbeenseized。“
  Iquestionedhimnomore。PresentlyIthoughthewasbeginningagain。Hebrokeoutinanargumentativemonotone:
  “Butwhyshoulditbe?If,indeed,thisbattle,thisslaughterandstressISlife,whyhavewethiscravingforpleasureandbeauty?
  IfthereISnorefuge,ifthereisnoplaceofpeace,andifallourdreamsofquietplacesareafollyandasnare,whyhavewesuchdreams?Surelyitwasnoignoblecravings,nobaseintentions,hadbroughtustothis;itwasLovehadisolatedus。Lovehadcometomewithhereyesandrobedinherbeauty,moregloriousthanallelseinlife,intheveryshapeandcolouroflife,andsummonedmeaway。Ihadsilencedallthevoices,Ihadansweredallthequestions——
  Ihadcometoher。AndsuddenlytherewasnothingbutWarandDeath!“
  Ihadaninspiration。“Afterall,“Isaid,“itcouldhavebeenonlyadream。“
  “Adream!“hecried,flaminguponme,“adream——whenevennow——“
  Forthefirsttimehebecameanimated。Afaintflushcreptintohischeek。Heraisedhisopenhandandclenchedit,anddroppedittohisknee。Hespoke,lookingawayfromme,andforalltherestofthetimehelookedaway。“Wearebutphantoms,“hesaid,“andthephantomsofphantoms,desireslikecloudshadowsandwillsofstrawthateddyinthewind;thedayspass,useandwontcarryusthroughasatraincarriestheshadowofitslights,sobeit!
  Butonethingisrealandcertain,onethingisnodreamstuff,buteternalandenduring。Itisthecentreofmylife,andallotherthingsaboutitaresubordinateoraltogethervain。Ilovedher,thatwomanofadream。AndsheandIaredeadtogether!
  “Adream!Howcanitbeadream,whenitdrenchedalivinglifewithunappeasablesorrow,whenitmakesallthatIhavelivedforandcaredfor,worthlessandunmeaning?
  “UntilthatverymomentwhenshewaskilledIbelievedwehadstillachanceofgettingaway,“hesaid。“AllthroughthenightandmorningthatwesailedacrosstheseafromCapritoSalerno,wetalkedofescape。Wewerefullofhope,anditclungaboutustotheend,hopeforthelifetogetherweshouldlead,outofitall,outofthebattleandstruggle,thewildandemptypassions,theemptyarbitrary’thoushalt’and’thoushaltnot’oftheworld。
  Wewereuplifted,asthoughourquestwasaholything,asthoughloveforoneanotherwasamission……
  “EvenwhenfromourboatwesawthefairfaceofthatgreatrockCapri——alreadyscarredandgashedbythegunemplacementsandhiding-placesthatweretomakeitafastness——wereckonednothingoftheimminentslaughter,thoughthefuryofpreparationhungaboutinpuffsandcloudsofdustatahundredpointsamidstthegrey;
  but,indeed,Imadeatextofthatandtalked。There,youknow,wastherock,stillbeautiful,forallitsscars,withitscountlesswindowsandarchesandways,tierupontier,forathousandfeet,avastcarvingofgrey,brokenbyvine-cladterraces,andlemonandorangegroves,andmassesofagaveandpricklypear,andpuffsofalmondblossom。AndoutunderthearchwaythatisbuiltoverthePiccolaMarinaotherboatswerecoming;andaswecameroundthecapeandwithinsightofthemainland,anotherlittlestringofboatscameintoview,drivingbeforethewindtowardsthesouthwest。
  Inalittlewhileamultitudehadcomeout,theremoterjustlittlespecksofultramarineintheshadowoftheeastwardcliff。
  “’Itisloveandreason,’Isaid,’fleeingfromallthismadness,ofwar。’
  “Andthoughwepresentlysawasquadronofaeroplanesflyingacrossthesouthernskywedidnotheedit。Thereitwas——alineoflittledotsinthesky——andthenmore,dottingthesoutheasternhorizon,andthenstillmore,untilallthatquarteroftheskywasstippledwithbluespecks。Nowtheywereallthinlittlestrokesofblue,andnowoneandnowamultitudewouldheelandcatchthesunandbecomeshortflashesoflight。Theycamerisingandfallingandgrowinglarger,likesomehugeflightofgullsorrooks,orsuch-likebirdsmovingwithamarvellousuniformity,andeverastheydrewnearertheyspreadoveragreaterwidthofsky。
  Thesouthwardwingflungitselfinanarrow-headedcloudathwartthesun。Andthensuddenlytheysweptroundtotheeastwardandstreamedeastward,growingsmallerandsmallerandclearerandcleareragainuntiltheyvanishedfromthesky。AndafterthatwenotedtothenorthwardandveryhighEvesham’sfightingmachineshanginghighoverNapleslikeaneveningswarmofgnats。
  “Itseemedtohavenomoretodowithusthanaflightofbirds。
  “Eventhemutterofgunsfarawayinthesoutheastseemedtoustosignifynothing……
  “Eachday,eachdreamafterthat,wewerestillexalted,stillseekingthatrefugewherewemightliveandlove。Fatiguehadcomeuponus,painandmanydistresses。Forthoughweweredustyandstainedbyourtoilsometramping,andhalfstarvedandwiththehorrorofthedeadmenwehadseenandtheflightofthepeasants——
  forverysoonagustoffightingsweptupthepeninsula——withthesethingshauntingourmindsitstillresultedonlyinadeepeningresolutiontoescape。O,butshewasbraveandpatient!Shewhohadneverfacedhardshipandexposurehadcourageforherself——andme。
  Wewenttoandfroseekinganoutlet,overacountryallcommandeeredandransackedbythegatheringhostsofwar。Alwayswewentonfoot。