首页 >出版文学> Twelve Stories and a Dream>第40章
  “Whenthedreamcameagain,nearlyfourdayslater,itwasverydifferent。Ithinkitcertainthatfourdayshadalsoelapsedinthedream。Manythingshadhappenedinthenorth,andtheshadowofthemwasbackagainbetweenus,andthistimeitwasnotsoeasilydispelled。Ibegan,Iknow,withmoodymusings。Why,inspiteofall,shouldIgoback,gobackforalltherestofmydaystotoilandstress,insultsandperpetualdissatisfaction,simplytosavehundredsofmillionsofcommonpeople,whomIdidnotlove,whomtoooftenIcoulddonootherthandespise,fromthestressandanguishofwarandinfinitemisrule?AndafterallImightfail。
  THEYallsoughttheirownnarrowends,andwhyshouldnotI——whyshouldnotIalsoliveasaman?Andoutofsuchthoughtshervoicesummonedme,andIliftedmyeyes。
  “Ifoundmyselfawakeandwalking。WehadcomeoutabovethePleasureCity,wewerenearthesummitofMonteSolaroandlookingtowardsthebay。Itwasthelateafternoonandveryclear。FarawaytotheleftIschiahunginagoldenhazebetweensea。andsky,andNapleswascoldlywhiteagainstthehills,andbeforeuswasVesuviuswithatallandslenderstreamerfeatheringatlasttowardsthesouth,andtheruinsofTorredell’AnnunziataandCastellamareglitteringandnear。“
  Iinterruptedsuddenly:“YouhavebeentoCapri,ofcourse?“
  “Onlyinthisdream,“hesaid,“onlyinthisdream。AllacrossthebaybeyondSorrentowerethefloatingpalacesofthePleasureCitymooredandchained。Andnorthwardwerethebroadfloatingstagesthatreceivedtheaeroplanes。Aeroplanesfelloutoftheskyeveryafternoon,eachbringingitsthousandsofpleasure-seekersfromtheuttermostpartsoftheearthtoCaprianditsdelights。Allthesethings,Isay,stretchedbelow。
  “Butwenoticedthemonlyincidentallybecauseofanunusualsightthateveninghadtoshow。FivewaraeroplanesthathadlongslumbereduselessinthedistantarsenalsoftheRhinemouthweremanoeuvringnowintheeastwardsky。Eveshamhadastonishedtheworldbyproducingthemandothers,andsendingthemtocirclehereandthere。Itwasthethreatmaterialinthegreatgameofbluffhewasplaying,andithadtakenevenmebysurprise。HewasoneofthoseincrediblystupidenergeticpeoplewhoseemsentbyHeaventocreatedisasters。Hisenergytothefirstglanceseemedsowonderfullylikecapacity!Buthehadnoimagination,noinvention,onlyastupid,vast,drivingforceofwill,andamadfaithinhisstupididiot’luck’topullhimthrough。Irememberhowwestoodoutupontheheadlandwatchingthesquadroncirclingfaraway,andhowIweighedthefullmeaningofthesight,seeingclearlythewaythingsmustgo。Andthenevenitwasnottoolate。Imighthavegoneback,Ithink,andsavedtheworld。Thepeopleofthenorthwouldfollowme,Iknew,grantedonlythatinonethingIrespectedtheirmoralstandards。Theeastandsouthwouldtrustmeastheywouldtrustnoothernorthernman。AndIknewIhadonlytoputittoherandshewouldhaveletmego……Notbecauseshedidnotloveme!
  “OnlyIdidnotwanttogo;mywillwasalltheotherwayabout。
  Ihadsonewlythrownofftheincubusofresponsibility:IwasstillsofresharenegadefromdutythatthedaylightclearnessofwhatIOUGHTtodohadnopoweratalltotouchmywill。Mywillwastolive,togatherpleasuresandmakemydearladyhappy。Butthoughthissenseofvastneglecteddutieshadnopowertodrawme,itcouldmakemesilentandpreoccupied,itrobbedthedaysIhadspentofhalftheirbrightnessandrousedmeintodarkmeditationsinthesilenceofthenight。AndasIstoodandwatchedEvesham’saeroplanessweeptoandfro——thosebirdsofinfiniteillomen——shestoodbesidemewatchingme,perceivingthetroubleindeed,butnotperceivingitclearlyhereyesquestioningmyface,herexpressionshadedwithperplexity。Herfacewasgreybecausethesunsetwasfadingoutofthesky。Itwasnofaultofhersthatsheheldme。
  Shehadaskedmetogofromher,andagaininthenighttimeandwithtearsshehadaskedmetogo。
  “Atlastitwasthesenseofherthatrousedmefrommymood。I
  turneduponhersuddenlyandchallengedhertoracedownthemountainslopes。’No,’shesaid,asifIjarredwithhergravity,butIwasresolvedtoendthatgravity,andmadeherrun——noonecanbeverygreyandsadwhoisoutofbreath——andwhenshestumbledIranwithmyhandbeneathherarm。Werandownpastacoupleofmen,whoturnedbackstaringinastonishmentatmybehaviour——theymusthaverecognisedmyface。Andhalfwaydowntheslopecameatumultintheair,clang-clank,clang-clank,andwestopped,andpresentlyoverthehill-crestthosewarthingscameflyingonebehindtheother。“
  Themanseemedhesitatingonthevergeofadescription。
  “Whatweretheylike?“Iasked。
  “Theyhadneverfought,“hesaid。“Theywerejustlikeourironcladsarenowadays;theyhadneverfought。Nooneknewwhattheymightdo,withexcitedmeninsidethem;fewevencaredtospeculate。
  Theyweregreatdrivingthingsshapedlikespearheadswithoutashaft,withapropellerintheplaceoftheshaft。“
  “Steel?“
  “Notsteel。“
  “Aluminium?“
  “No,no,nothingofthatsort。Analloythatwasverycommon——ascommonasbrass,forexample。Itwascalled——letmesee。“Hesqueezedhisforeheadwiththefingersofonehand。“Iamforgettingeverything,“hesaid。
  “Andtheyca-KanbaAPp点com-rriedguns?“
  “Littleguns,firinghighexplosiveshells。Theyfiredthegunsbackwards,outofthebaseoftheleaf,sotospeak,andrammedwiththebeak。Thatwasthetheory,youknow,buttheyhadneverbeenfought。Noonecouldtellexactlywhatwasgoingtohappen。
  AndmeanwhileIsupposeitwasveryfinetogowhirlingthroughtheairlikeaflightofyoungswallows,swiftandeasy。Iguessthecaptainstriednottothinktooclearlywhattherealthingwouldbelike。Andtheseflyingwarmachines,youknow,wereonlyonesortoftheendlesswarcontrivancesthathadbeeninventedandhadfallenintoabeyanceduringthelongpeace。Therewereallsortsofthesethingsthatpeoplewereroutingoutandfurbishingup;infernalthings,sillythings;thingsthathadneverbeentried;
  bigengines,terribleexplosives,greatguns。Youknowthesillywayoftheseingenioussortofmenwhomakethesethings;theyturn’emoutasbeaversbuilddams,andwithnomoresenseoftheriversthey’regoingtodivertandthelandsthey’regoingtoflood!
  “Aswewentdownthewindingstepwaytoourhotelagain,inthetwilight,Iforesawitall:IsawhowclearlyandinevitablythingsweredrivingforwarinEvesham’ssilly,violenthands,andIhadsomeinklingofwhatwarwasboundtobeunderthesenewconditions。Andeventhen,thoughIknewitwasdrawingnearthelimitofmyopportunity,Icouldfindnowilltogoback。“
  Hesighed。
  “Thatwasmylastchance。
  “Wedidn’tgointothecityuntiltheskywasfullofstars,sowewalkedoutuponthehighterrace,toandfro,and——shecounselledmetogoback。
  “’Mydearest,’shesaid,andhersweetfacelookeduptome,’thisisDeath。ThislifeyouleadisDeath。Gobacktothem,gobacktoyourduty。’
  “Shebegantoweep,saying,betweenhersobs,andclingingtomyarmasshesaidit,’Goback——Goback。’
  “Thensuddenlyshefellmute,and,glancingdownatherface,Ireadinaninstantthethingshehadthoughttodo。ItwasoneofthosemomentswhenoneSEES。
  “’No!’Isaid。
  “’No?’sheasked,insurprise,andIthinkalittlefearfulattheanswertoherthought。
  “’Nothing,’Isaid,’shallsendmeback。Nothing!Ihavechosen。
  Love,Ihavechosen,andtheworldmustgo。WhateverhappensIwilllivethislife——IwillliveforYOU!It——nothingshallturnmeaside;nothing,mydearone。Evenifyoudied——evenifyoudied——’
  “’Yes,’shemurmured,softly。
  “’Then——Ialsowoulddie。’
  “AndbeforeshecouldspeakagainIbegantotalk,talkingeloquently——
  asICOULDdointhatlife——talkingtoexaltlove,tomakethelifewewerelivingseemheroicandglorious;andthethingIwasdesertingsomethinghardandenormouslyignoblethatitwasafinethingtosetaside。Ibentallmymindtothrowthatglamouruponit,seekingnotonlytoconvertherbutmyselftothat。Wetalked,andsheclungtome,torntoobetweenallthatshedeemednobleandallthatsheknewwassweet。AndatlastIdidmakeitheroic,madeallthethickeningdisasteroftheworldonlyasortofglorioussettingtoourunparalleledlove,andwetwopoorfoolishsoulsstruttedthereatlast,cladinthatsplendiddelusion,drunkenratherwiththatgloriousdelusion,underthestillstars。
  “Andsomymomentpassed。
  “Itwasmylastchance。Evenaswewenttoandfrothere,theleadersofthesouthandeastweregatheringtheirresolve,andthehotanswerthatshatteredEvesham’sbluffingforever,tookshapeandwaited。AndalloverAsia,andtheocean,andthesouth,theairandthewireswerethrobbingwiththeirwarningstoprepare——prepare。
  “Nooneliving,youknow,knewwhatwarwas;noonecouldimagine,withallthesenewinventions,whathorrorwarmightbring。Ibelievemostpeoplestillbelieveditwouldbeamatterofbrightuniformsandshoutingchargesandtriumphsandflagsandbands——inatimewhenhalftheworlddrewitsfoodsupplyfromregionstenthousandmilesaway。“
  Themanwiththewhitefacepaused。Iglancedathim,andhisfacewasintentonthefloorofthecarriage。Alittlerailwaystation,astringofloadedtrucks,asignal-box,andthebackofacottage,shotbythecarriagewindow,andabridgepassedwithaclapofnoise,echoingthetumultofthetrain。
  “Afterthat,“hesaid,“Idreamtoften。Forthreeweeksofnightsthatdreamwasmylife。AndtheworstofitwastherewerenightswhenIcouldnotdream,whenIlaytossingonabedinTHIS