“Theairwasfullofmusic,fullofharmoniousscents,fulloftherhythmofbeautifulmotions。Thousandsofbeautifulpeopleswarmedaboutthehall,crowdedthegalleries,satinamyriadrecesses;theyweredressedinsplendidcoloursandcrownedwithflowers;thousandsdancedaboutthegreatcirclebeneaththewhiteimagesoftheancientgods,andgloriousprocessionsofyouthsandmaidenscameandwent。Wetwodanced,notthedrearymonotoniesofyourdays——ofthistime,Imean——butdancesthatwerebeautiful,intoxicating。AndevennowIcanseemyladydancing——
dancingjoyously。Shedanced,youknow,withaseriousface;shedancedwithaseriousdignity,andyetshewassmilingatmeandcaressingme——smilingandcaressingwithhereyes。
“Themusicwasdifferent,“hemurmured。“Itwent——Icannotdescribeit;butitwasinfinitelyricherandmorevariedthananymusicthathasevercometomeawake。
“Andthen——itwaswhenwehaddonedancing——amancametospeaktome。Hewasalean,resoluteman,verysoberlycladforthatplace,andalreadyIhadmarkedhisfacewatchingmeinthebreakfastinghall,andafterwardsaswewentalongthepassageIhadavoidedhiseye。Butnow,aswesatinalittlealcove,smilingatthepleasureofallthepeoplewhowenttoandfroacrosstheshiningfloor,hecameandtouchedme,andspoketomesothatIwasforcedtolisten。
Andheaskedthathemightspeaktomeforalittletimeapart。
“’No,’Isaid。’Ihavenosecretsfromthislady。Whatdoyouwanttotellme?’
“Hesaiditwasatrivialmatter,oratleastadrymatter,foraladytohear。
“’Perhapsformetohear,’saidI。
“Heglancedather,asthoughalmosthewouldappealtoher。ThenheaskedmesuddenlyifIhadheardofagreatandavengingdeclarationthatEveshamhadmade。Now,Eveshamhadalwaysbeforebeenthemannexttomyselfintheleadershipofthatgreatpartyinthenorth。
Hewasaforcible,hardandtactlessman,andonlyIhadbeenabletocontrolandsoftenhim。Itwasonhisaccountevenmorethanmyown,Ithink,thattheothershadbeensodismayedatmyretreat。
SothisquestionaboutwhathehaddonereawakenedmyoldinterestinthelifeIhadputasidejustforamoment。
“’Ihavetakennoheedofanynewsformanydays,’Isaid。’WhathasEveshambeensaying?’
“Andwiththatthemanbegan,nothingloath,andImustconfessevenIwasstruckbyEvesham’srecklessfollyinthewildandthreateningwordshehadused。AndthismessengertheyhadsenttomenotonlytoldmeofEvesham’sspeech,butwentontoaskcounselandtopointoutwhatneedtheyhadofme。Whilehetalked,myladysatalittleforwardandwatchedhisfaceandmine。
“Myoldhabitsofschemingandorganisingreassertedthemselves。
Icouldevenseemyselfsuddenlyreturningtothenorth,andallthedramaticeffectofit。Allthatthismansaidwitnessedtothedisorderofthepartyindeed,butnottoitsdamage。IshouldgobackstrongerthanIhadcome。AndthenIthoughtofmylady。
Yousee——howcanItellyou?Therewerecertainpeculiaritiesofourrelationship——asthingsareIneednottellyouaboutthat——whichwouldrenderherpresencewithmeimpossible。Ishouldhavehadtoleaveher;indeed,Ishouldhavehadtorenounceherclearlyandopenly,ifIwastodoallthatIcoulddointhenorth。AndthemanknewTHAT,evenashetalkedtoherandme,knewitaswellasshedid,thatmystepstodutywere——first,separation,thenabandonment。Atthetouchofthatthoughtmydreamofareturnwasshattered。Iturnedonthemansuddenly,ashewasimagininghiseloquencewasgaininggroundwithme。
“’WhathaveItodowiththesethingsnow?’Isaid。’Ihavedonewiththem。DoyouthinkIamcoquettingwithyourpeopleincominghere?’
“’No,’hesaid;’but——’
“’Whycannotyouleavemealone?Ihavedonewiththesethings。
Ihaveceasedtobeanythingbutaprivateman。’
“’Yes,’heanswered。’Buthaveyouthought?——thistalkofwar,theserecklesschallenges,thesewildaggressions——’
“Istoodup。
“’No,’Icried。’Iwon’thearyou。Itookcountofallthosethings,Iweighedthem——andIhavecomeaway。’
“Heseemedtoconsiderthepossibilityofpersistence。Helookedfrommetowheretheladysatregardingus。
“’War,’hesaid,asifhewerespeakingtohimself,andthenturnedslowlyfrommeandwalkedaway。Istood,caughtinthewhirlofthoughtshisappealhadsetgoing。
“Iheardmylady’svoice。
“’Dear,’shesaid;’butiftheyhaveneedofyou——’
“Shedidnotfinishhersentence,sheletitrestthere。Iturnedtohersweetface,andthebalanceofmymoodswayedandreeled。
“’Theywantmeonlytodothethingtheydarenotdothemselves,’I
said。’IftheydistrustEveshamtheymustsettlewithhimthemselves。’
“Shelookedatmedoubtfully。
“’Butwar——’shesaid。
“IsawadoubtonherfacethatIhadseenbefore,adoubtofherselfandme,thefirstshadowofthediscoverythat,seenstronglyandcompletely,mustdriveusapartforever。
“Now,Iwasanoldermindthanhers,andIcouldswayhertothisbelieforthat。
“’Mydearone,’Isaid,’youmustnottroubleoverthesethings。
Therewillbenowar。Certainlytherewillbenowar。Theageofwarsispast。Trustmetoknowthejusticeofthiscase。Theyhavenorightuponme,dearest,andnoonehasarightuponme。
Ihavebeenfreetochoosemylife,andIhavechosenthis。’
“’ButWAR——’shesaid。
“Isatdownbesideher。Iputanarmbehindherandtookherhandinmine。Isetmyselftodrivethatdoubtaway——Isetmyselftofillhermindwithpleasantthingsagain。Iliedtoher,andinlyingtoherIliedalsotomyself。Andshewasonlytooreadytobelieveme,onlytooreadytoforget。
“Verysoontheshadowhadgoneagain,andwewerehasteningtoourbathing-placeintheGrottadelBovoMarino,whereitwasourcustomtobatheeveryday。Weswamandsplashedoneanother,andinthatbuoyantwaterIseemedtobecomesomethinglighterandstrongerthanaman。Andatlastwecameoutdrippingandrejoicingandracedamongtherocks。AndthenIputonadrybathing-dress,andwesattobaskinthesun,andpresentlyInodded,restingmyheadagainstherknee,andsheputherhanduponmyhairandstrokeditsoftlyandIdozed。Andbehold!asitwerewiththesnappingofthestringofaviolin,Iwasawakening,andIwasinmyownbedinLiverpool,inthelifeofto-day。
“OnlyforatimeIcouldnotbelievethatallthesevividmomentshadbeennomorethanthesubstanceofadream。
“Intruth,Icouldnotbelieveitadreamforallthesoberingrealityofthingsaboutme。Ibathedanddressedasitwerebyhabit,andasIshavedIarguedwhyIofallmenshouldleavethewomanIlovedtogobacktofantasticpoliticsinthehardandstrenuousnorth。EvenifEveshamdidforcetheworldbacktowar,whatwasthattome?Iwasaman,withtheheartofaman,andwhyshouldIfeeltheresponsibilityofadeityforthewaytheworldmightgo?
“YouknowthatisnotquitethewayIthinkaboutaffairs,aboutmyrealaffairs。Iamasolicitor,youknow,withapointofview。
“Thevisionwassoreal,youmustunderstand,soutterlyunlikeadreamthatIkeptperpetuallyrecallinglittleirrelevantdetails;
eventheornamentofabook-coverthatlayonmywife’ssewing-machineinthebreakfast-roomrecalledwiththeutmostvividnessthegiltlinethatranabouttheseatinthealcovewhereIhadtalkedwiththemessengerfrommydesertedparty。Haveyoueverheardofadreamthathadaqualitylikethat?“
“Like——?“
“Sothatafterwardsyourememberedlittledetailsyouhadforgotten。“
Ithought。Ihadnevernoticedthepointbefore,buthewasright。
“Never,“Isaid。“Thatiswhatyouneverseemtodowithdreams。“
“No,“heanswered。“ButthatisjustwhatIdid。Iamasolicitor,youmustunderstand,inLiverpool,andIcouldnothelpwonderingwhattheclientsandbusinesspeopleIfoundmyselftalkingtoinmyofficewouldthinkifItoldthemsuddenlyIwasinlovewithagirlwhowouldbebornacoupleofhundredyearsorsohence,andworriedaboutthepoliticsofmygreat-great-great-grandchildren。
Iwaschieflybusythatdaynegotiatinganinety-nine-yearbuildinglease。Itwasaprivatebuilderinahurry,andwewantedtotiehimineverypossibleway。Ihadaninterviewwithhim,andheshowedacertainwantoftemperthatsentmetobedstillirritated。ThatnightIhadnodream。NordidIdreamthenextnight,atleast,toremember。
“Somethingofthatintenserealityofconvictionvanished。IbegantofeelsureitWASadream。Andthenitcameagain。