首页 >出版文学> Twelve Stories and a Dream>第39章
  “Theairwasfullofmusic,fullofharmoniousscents,fulloftherhythmofbeautifulmotions。Thousandsofbeautifulpeopleswarmedaboutthehall,crowdedthegalleries,satinamyriadrecesses;theyweredressedinsplendidcoloursandcrownedwithflowers;thousandsdancedaboutthegreatcirclebeneaththewhiteimagesoftheancientgods,andgloriousprocessionsofyouthsandmaidenscameandwent。Wetwodanced,notthedrearymonotoniesofyourdays——ofthistime,Imean——butdancesthatwerebeautiful,intoxicating。AndevennowIcanseemyladydancing——
  dancingjoyously。Shedanced,youknow,withaseriousface;shedancedwithaseriousdignity,andyetshewassmilingatmeandcaressingme——smilingandcaressingwithhereyes。
  “Themusicwasdifferent,“hemurmured。“Itwent——Icannotdescribeit;butitwasinfinitelyricherandmorevariedthananymusicthathasevercometomeawake。
  “Andthen——itwaswhenwehaddonedancing——amancametospeaktome。Hewasalean,resoluteman,verysoberlycladforthatplace,andalreadyIhadmarkedhisfacewatchingmeinthebreakfastinghall,andafterwardsaswewentalongthepassageIhadavoidedhiseye。Butnow,aswesatinalittlealcove,smilingatthepleasureofallthepeoplewhowenttoandfroacrosstheshiningfloor,hecameandtouchedme,andspoketomesothatIwasforcedtolisten。
  Andheaskedthathemightspeaktomeforalittletimeapart。
  “’No,’Isaid。’Ihavenosecretsfromthislady。Whatdoyouwanttotellme?’
  “Hesaiditwasatrivialmatter,oratleastadrymatter,foraladytohear。
  “’Perhapsformetohear,’saidI。
  “Heglancedather,asthoughalmosthewouldappealtoher。ThenheaskedmesuddenlyifIhadheardofagreatandavengingdeclarationthatEveshamhadmade。Now,Eveshamhadalwaysbeforebeenthemannexttomyselfintheleadershipofthatgreatpartyinthenorth。
  Hewasaforcible,hardandtactlessman,andonlyIhadbeenabletocontrolandsoftenhim。Itwasonhisaccountevenmorethanmyown,Ithink,thattheothershadbeensodismayedatmyretreat。
  SothisquestionaboutwhathehaddonereawakenedmyoldinterestinthelifeIhadputasidejustforamoment。
  “’Ihavetakennoheedofanynewsformanydays,’Isaid。’WhathasEveshambeensaying?’
  “Andwiththatthemanbegan,nothingloath,andImustconfessevenIwasstruckbyEvesham’srecklessfollyinthewildandthreateningwordshehadused。AndthismessengertheyhadsenttomenotonlytoldmeofEvesham’sspeech,butwentontoaskcounselandtopointoutwhatneedtheyhadofme。Whilehetalked,myladysatalittleforwardandwatchedhisfaceandmine。
  “Myoldhabitsofschemingandorganisingreassertedthemselves。
  Icouldevenseemyselfsuddenlyreturningtothenorth,andallthedramaticeffectofit。Allthatthismansaidwitnessedtothedisorderofthepartyindeed,butnottoitsdamage。IshouldgobackstrongerthanIhadcome。AndthenIthoughtofmylady。
  Yousee——howcanItellyou?Therewerecertainpeculiaritiesofourrelationship——asthingsareIneednottellyouaboutthat——whichwouldrenderherpresencewithmeimpossible。Ishouldhavehadtoleaveher;indeed,Ishouldhavehadtorenounceherclearlyandopenly,ifIwastodoallthatIcoulddointhenorth。AndthemanknewTHAT,evenashetalkedtoherandme,knewitaswellasshedid,thatmystepstodutywere——first,separation,thenabandonment。Atthetouchofthatthoughtmydreamofareturnwasshattered。Iturnedonthemansuddenly,ashewasimagininghiseloquencewasgaininggroundwithme。
  “’WhathaveItodowiththesethingsnow?’Isaid。’Ihavedonewiththem。DoyouthinkIamcoquettingwithyourpeopleincominghere?’
  “’No,’hesaid;’but——’
  “’Whycannotyouleavemealone?Ihavedonewiththesethings。
  Ihaveceasedtobeanythingbutaprivateman。’
  “’Yes,’heanswered。’Buthaveyouthought?——thistalkofwar,theserecklesschallenges,thesewildaggressions——’
  “Istoodup。
  “’No,’Icried。’Iwon’thearyou。Itookcountofallthosethings,Iweighedthem——andIhavecomeaway。’
  “Heseemedtoconsiderthepossibilityofpersistence。Helookedfrommetowheretheladysatregardingus。
  “’War,’hesaid,asifhewerespeakingtohimself,andthenturnedslowlyfrommeandwalkedaway。Istood,caughtinthewhirlofthoughtshisappealhadsetgoing。
  “Iheardmylady’svoice。
  “’Dear,’shesaid;’butiftheyhaveneedofyou——’
  “Shedidnotfinishhersentence,sheletitrestthere。Iturnedtohersweetface,andthebalanceofmymoodswayedandreeled。
  “’Theywantmeonlytodothethingtheydarenotdothemselves,’I
  said。’IftheydistrustEveshamtheymustsettlewithhimthemselves。’
  “Shelookedatmedoubtfully。
  “’Butwar——’shesaid。
  “IsawadoubtonherfacethatIhadseenbefore,adoubtofherselfandme,thefirstshadowofthediscoverythat,seenstronglyandcompletely,mustdriveusapartforever。
  “Now,Iwasanoldermindthanhers,andIcouldswayhertothisbelieforthat。
  “’Mydearone,’Isaid,’youmustnottroubleoverthesethings。
  Therewillbenowar。Certainlytherewillbenowar。Theageofwarsispast。Trustmetoknowthejusticeofthiscase。Theyhavenorightuponme,dearest,andnoonehasarightuponme。
  Ihavebeenfreetochoosemylife,andIhavechosenthis。’
  “’ButWAR——’shesaid。
  “Isatdownbesideher。Iputanarmbehindherandtookherhandinmine。Isetmyselftodrivethatdoubtaway——Isetmyselftofillhermindwithpleasantthingsagain。Iliedtoher,andinlyingtoherIliedalsotomyself。Andshewasonlytooreadytobelieveme,onlytooreadytoforget。
  “Verysoontheshadowhadgoneagain,andwewerehasteningtoourbathing-placeintheGrottadelBovoMarino,whereitwasourcustomtobatheeveryday。Weswamandsplashedoneanother,andinthatbuoyantwaterIseemedtobecomesomethinglighterandstrongerthanaman。Andatlastwecameoutdrippingandrejoicingandracedamongtherocks。AndthenIputonadrybathing-dress,andwesattobaskinthesun,andpresentlyInodded,restingmyheadagainstherknee,andsheputherhanduponmyhairandstrokeditsoftlyandIdozed。Andbehold!asitwerewiththesnappingofthestringofaviolin,Iwasawakening,andIwasinmyownbedinLiverpool,inthelifeofto-day。
  “OnlyforatimeIcouldnotbelievethatallthesevividmomentshadbeennomorethanthesubstanceofadream。
  “Intruth,Icouldnotbelieveitadreamforallthesoberingrealityofthingsaboutme。Ibathedanddressedasitwerebyhabit,andasIshavedIarguedwhyIofallmenshouldleavethewomanIlovedtogobacktofantasticpoliticsinthehardandstrenuousnorth。EvenifEveshamdidforcetheworldbacktowar,whatwasthattome?Iwasaman,withtheheartofaman,andwhyshouldIfeeltheresponsibilityofadeityforthewaytheworldmightgo?
  “YouknowthatisnotquitethewayIthinkaboutaffairs,aboutmyrealaffairs。Iamasolicitor,youknow,withapointofview。
  “Thevisionwassoreal,youmustunderstand,soutterlyunlikeadreamthatIkeptperpetuallyrecallinglittleirrelevantdetails;
  eventheornamentofabook-coverthatlayonmywife’ssewing-machineinthebreakfast-roomrecalledwiththeutmostvividnessthegiltlinethatranabouttheseatinthealcovewhereIhadtalkedwiththemessengerfrommydesertedparty。Haveyoueverheardofadreamthathadaqualitylikethat?“
  “Like——?“
  “Sothatafterwardsyourememberedlittledetailsyouhadforgotten。“
  Ithought。Ihadnevernoticedthepointbefore,buthewasright。
  “Never,“Isaid。“Thatiswhatyouneverseemtodowithdreams。“
  “No,“heanswered。“ButthatisjustwhatIdid。Iamasolicitor,youmustunderstand,inLiverpool,andIcouldnothelpwonderingwhattheclientsandbusinesspeopleIfoundmyselftalkingtoinmyofficewouldthinkifItoldthemsuddenlyIwasinlovewithagirlwhowouldbebornacoupleofhundredyearsorsohence,andworriedaboutthepoliticsofmygreat-great-great-grandchildren。
  Iwaschieflybusythatdaynegotiatinganinety-nine-yearbuildinglease。Itwasaprivatebuilderinahurry,andwewantedtotiehimineverypossibleway。Ihadaninterviewwithhim,andheshowedacertainwantoftemperthatsentmetobedstillirritated。ThatnightIhadnodream。NordidIdreamthenextnight,atleast,toremember。
  “Somethingofthatintenserealityofconvictionvanished。IbegantofeelsureitWASadream。Andthenitcameagain。