首页 >出版文学> Twelve Stories and a Dream>第38章
  “Iwokeup,Isay,becausethegirlhadstoppedfanningme。Iwasnotsurprisedtofindmyselfthereoranythingofthatsort,youunderstand。IdidnotfeelIhadfallenintoitsuddenly。Isimplytookitupatthatpoint。WhatevermemoryIhadofTHISlife,thisnineteenth-centurylife,fadedasIwoke,vanishedlikeadream。Iknewallaboutmyself,knewthatmynamewasnolongerCooperbutHedon,andallaboutmypositionintheworld。I’veforgottenalotsinceIwoke——there’sawantofconnection——butitwasallquiteclearandmatteroffactthen。“
  Hehesitatedagain,grippingthewindowstrap,puttinghisfaceforwardandlookingupatmeappealingly。
  “Thisseemsboshtoyou?“
  “No,no!“Icried。“Goon。Tellmewhatthisloggiawaslike。“
  “Itwasnotreallyaloggia——Idon’tknowwhattocallit。Itfacedsouth。Itwassmall。Itwasallinshadowexceptthesemicircleabovethebalconythatshowedtheskyandseaandthecornerwherethegirlstood。Iwasonacouch——itwasametalcouchwithlightstripedcushions-andthegirlwasleaningoverthebalconywithherbacktome。Thelightofthesunrisefellonherearandcheek。
  Herprettywhiteneckandthelittlecurlsthatnestledthere,andherwhiteshoulderwereinthesun,andallthegraceofherbodywasinthecoolblueshadow。Shewasdressed——howcanIdescribeit?Itwaseasyandflowing。Andaltogetherthereshestood,sothatitcametomehowbeautifulanddesirableshewas,asthoughIhadneverseenherbefore。AndwhenatlastIsighedandraisedmyselfuponmyarmsheturnedherfacetome——“
  Hestopped。
  “Ihavelivedthree-and-fiftyyearsinthisworld。Ihavehadmother,sisters,friends,wife,anddaughters——alltheirfaces,theplayoftheirfaces,Iknow。Butthefaceofthisgirl——itismuchmorerealtome。IcanbringitbackintomemorysothatIseeitagain——Icoulddrawitorpaintit。Andafterall——“
  Hestopped——butIsaidnothing。
  “Thefaceofadream——thefaceofadream。Shewasbeautiful。Notthatbeautywhichisterrible,cold,andworshipful,likethebeautyofasaint;northatbeautythatstirsfiercepassions;butasortofradiation,sweetlipsthatsoftenedintosmiles,andgravegreyeyes。Andshemovedgracefully,sheseemedtohavepartwithallpleasantandgraciousthings——“
  Hestopped,andhisfacewasdowncastandhidden。Thenhelookedupatmeandwenton,makingnofurtherattempttodisguisehisabsolutebeliefintherealityofhisstory。
  “Yousee,Ihadthrownupmyplansandambitions,thrownupallIhadeverworkedforordesiredforhersake。Ihadbeenamastermanawaythereinthenorth,withinfluenceandpropertyandagreatreputation,butnoneofithadseemedworthhavingbesideher。
  Ihadcometotheplace,thiscityofsunnypleasures,withher,andleftallthosethingstowreckandruinjusttosavearemnantatleastofmylife。WhileIhadbeeninlovewithherbeforeIknewthatshehadanycareforme,beforeIhadimaginedthatshewoulddare——thatweshoulddare,allmylifehadseemedvainandhollow,dustandashes。ItWASdustandashes。NightafternightandthroughthelongdaysIhadlongedanddesired——mysoulhadbeatenagainstthethingforbidden!
  “Butitisimpossibleforonemantotellanotherjustthesethings。
  It’semotion,it’satint,alightthatcomesandgoes。Onlywhileit’sthere,everythingchanges,everything。ThethingisIcameawayandleftthemintheirCrisistodowhattheycould。“
  “Leftwhom?“Iasked,puzzled。
  “Thepeopleupinthenorththere。Yousee——inthisdream,anyhow——
  Ihadbeenabigman,thesortofmanmencometotrustin,togroupthemselvesabout。Millionsofmenwhohadneverseenmewerereadytodothingsandriskthingsbecauseoftheirconfidenceinme。
  Ihadbeenplayingthatgameforyears,thatbiglaboriousgame,thatvague,monstrouspoliticalgameamidstintriguesandbetrayals,speechandagitation。Itwasavastwelteringworld,andatlastIhadasortofleadershipagainsttheGang——youknowitwascalledtheGang——asortofcompromiseofscoundrellyprojectsandbaseambitionsandvastpublicemotionalstupiditiesandcatchwords——
  theGangthatkepttheworldnoisyandblindyearbyyear,andallthewhilethatitwasdrifting,driftingtowardsinfinitedisaster。
  ButIcan’texpectyoutounderstandtheshadesandcomplicationsoftheyear——theyearsomethingorotherahead。Ihaditalldowntothesmallestdetails——inmydream。IsupposeIhadbeendreamingofitbeforeIawoke,andthefadingoutlineofsomequeernewdevelopmentIhadimaginedstillhungaboutmeasIrubbedmyeyes。
  ItwassomegrubbyaffairthatmademethankGodforthesunlight。
  Isatuponthecouchandremainedlookingatthewomanandrejoicing——
  rejoicingthatIhadcomeawayoutofallthattumultandfollyandviolencebeforeitwastoolate。Afterall,Ithought,thisislife——loveandbeauty,desireanddelight,aretheynotworthallthosedismalstrugglesforvague,giganticends?AndIblamedmyselfforhavingeversoughttobealeaderwhenImighthavegivenmydaystolove。Butthen,thoughtI,ifIhadnotspentmyearlydayssternlyandausterely,Imighthavewastedmyselfuponvainandworthlesswomen,andatthethoughtallmybeingwentoutinloveandtendernesstomydearmistress,mydearlady,whohadcomeatlastandcompelledme——compelledmebyherinvinciblecharmforme——tolaythatlifeaside。
  “’Youareworthit,’Isaid,speakingwithoutintendinghertohear;
  ’youareworthit,mydearestone;worthprideandpraiseandallthings。Love!tohaveYOUisworththemalltogether。’Andatthemurmurofmyvoicesheturnedabout。
  “’Comeandsee,’shecried——Icanhearhernow——’comeandseethesunriseuponMonteSolaro。’
  “IrememberhowIsprangtomyfeetandjoinedheratthebalcony。
  Sheputawhitehanduponmyshoulderandpointedtowardsgreatmassesoflimestone,flushing,asitwere,intolife。Ilooked。
  ButfirstInotedthesunlightonherfacecaressingthelinesofhercheeksandneck。HowcanIdescribetoyouthescenewehadbeforeus?WewereatCapri——“
  “Ihavebeenthere,“Isaid。“IhaveclamberedupMonteSolaroanddrunkveroCapri——muddystufflikecider——atthesummit。“
  “Ah!“saidthemanwiththewhiteface;“thenperhapsyoucantellme——youwillknowifthiswasindeedCapri。ForinthislifeIhaveneverbeenthere。Letmedescribeit。Wewereinalittleroom,oneofavastmultitudeoflittlerooms,verycoolandsunny,hollowedoutofthelimestoneofasortofcape,veryhighabovethesea。
  Thewholeisland,youknow,wasoneenormoushotel,complexbeyondexplaining,andontheothersidethereweremilesoffloatinghotels,andhugefloatingstagestowhichtheflyingmachinescame。Theycalleditapleasurecity。Ofcourse,therewasnoneofthatinyourtimerather,Ishouldsay,ISnoneofthatNOW。Ofcourse。Now!——yes。
  “Well,thisroomofourswasattheextremityofthecape,sothatonecouldseeeastandwest。Eastwardwasagreatcliff——athousandfeethighperhaps——coldlygreyexceptforonebrightedgeofgold,andbeyondittheIsleoftheSirens,andafallingcoastthatfadedandpassedintothehotsunrise。Andwhenoneturnedtothewest,distinctandnearwasalittlebay,alittlebeachstillinshadow。AndoutofthatshadowroseSolarostraightandtall,flushedandgoldencrested,likeabeautythroned,andthewhitemoonwasfloatingbehindherinthesky。Andbeforeusfromeasttoweststretchedthemany-tintedseaalldottedwithlittlesailingboats。
  “Totheeastward,ofcourse,theselittleboatsweregreyandveryminuteandclear,buttothewestwardtheywerelittleboatsofgold——
  shininggold——almostlikelittleflames。Andjustbelowuswasarockwithanarchwornthroughit。Thebluesea-waterbroketogreenandfoamallroundtherock,andagalleycameglidingoutofthearch。“
  “Iknowthatrock,“Isaid。“Iwasnearlydrownedthere。ItiscalledtheFaraglioni。“
  “IFaraglioni?Yes,shecalleditthat,“answeredthemanwiththewhiteface。“Therewassomestory——butthat——“
  Heputhishandtohisforeheadagain。“No,“hesaid,“Iforgetthatstory。“
  “Well,thatisthefirstthingIremember,thefirstdreamIhad,thatlittleshadedroomandthebeautifulairandskyandthatdearladyofmine,withhershiningarmsandhergracefulrobe,andhowwesatandtalkedinhalfwhisperstooneanother。Wetalkedinwhispersnotbecausetherewasanyonetohear,butbecausetherewasstillsuchafreshnessofmindbetweenusthatourthoughtswerealittlefrightened,Ithink,tofindthemselvesatlastinwords。
  Andsotheywentsoftly。
  “Presentlywewerehungryandwewentfromourapartment,goingbyastrangepassagewithamovingfloor,untilwecametothegreatbreakfastroom——therewasafountainandmusic。Apleasantandjoyfulplaceitwas,withitssunlightandsplashing,andthemurmurofpluckedstrings。Andwesatandateandsmiledatoneanother,andIwouldnotheedamanwhowaswatchingmefromatablenearby。
  “Andafterwardswewentontothedancing-hall。ButIcannotdescribethathall。Theplacewasenormous——largerthananybuildingyouhaveeverseen——andinoneplacetherewastheoldgateofCapri,caughtintothewallofagalleryhighoverhead。Lightgirders,stemsandthreadsofgold,burstfromthepillarslikefountains,streamedlikeanAuroraacrosstheroofandinterlaced,like——
  likeconjuringtricks。Allaboutthegreatcircleforthedancerstherewerebeautifulfigures,strangedragons,andintricateandwonderfulgrotesquesbearinglights。Theplacewasinundatedwithartificiallightthatshamedthenewbornday。Andaswewentthroughthethrongthepeopleturnedaboutandlookedatus,forallthroughtheworldmynameandfacewereknown,andhowIhadsuddenlythrownupprideandstruggletocometothisplace。Andtheylookedalsoattheladybesideme,thoughhalfthestoryofhowatlastshehadcometomewasunknownormistold。Andfewofthemenwhowerethere,Iknow,butjudgedmeahappyman,inspiteofalltheshameanddishonourthathadcomeuponmyname。