FortwoyearsMissWinchelseacouldnotgotoseeherfriends,inspiteofthereiteratedinvitationsofMrs。Sevenoaks——itbecamefullSevenoaksinthesecondyear。ThenonedayneartheEasterrestshefeltlonelyandwithoutasoultounderstandherintheworld,andhermindranoncemoreonwhatiscalledPlatonicfriendship。Fannywasclearlyhappyandbusyinhernewsphereofdomesticity,butnodoubtHEhadhislonelyhours。DidheeverthinkofthosedaysinRome——gonenowbeyondrecalling?Noonehadunderstoodherashehaddone;nooneinalltheworld。Itwouldbeasortofmelancholypleasuretotalktohimagain,andwhatharmcoulditdo?Whyshouldshedenyherself?Thatnightshewroteasonnet,allbutthelasttwolinesoftheoctave——whichwouldnotcome,andthenextdayshecomposedagracefullittlenotetotellFannyshewascomingdown。
Andsoshesawhimagain。
Evenatthefirstencounteritwasevidenthehadchanged;heseemedstouterandlessnervous,anditspeedilyappearedthathisconversationhadalreadylostmuchofitsolddelicacy。ThereevenseemedajustificationforHelen’sdescriptionofweaknessinhisface——incertainlightsitWASweak。Heseemedbusyandpreoccupiedabouthisaffairs,andalmostundertheimpressionthatMissWinchelseahadcomeforthesakeofFanny。HediscussedhisdinnerwithFannyinanintelligentway。Theyonlyhadonegoodlongtalktogether,andthatcametonothing。HedidnotrefertoRome,andspentsometimeabusingamanwhohadstolenanideahehadhadforatext-book。
ItdidnotseemaverywonderfulideatoMissWinchelsea。ShediscoveredhehadforgottenthenamesofmorethanhalfthepainterswhoseworktheyhadrejoicedoverinFlorence。
Itwasasadlydisappointingweek,andMissWinchelseawasgladwhenitcametoanend。Undervariousexcusessheavoidedvisitingthemagain。Afteratimethevisitor’sroomwasoccupiedbytheirtwolittleboys,andFanny’sinvitationsceased。Theintimacyofherlettershadlongsincefadedaway。
ThemanwiththewhitefaceenteredthecarriageatRugby。Hemovedslowlyinspiteoftheurgencyofhisporter,andevenwhilehewasstillontheplatformInotedhowillheseemed。Hedroppedintothecorneroveragainstmewithasigh,madeanincompleteattempttoarrangehistravellingshawl,andbecamemotionless,withhiseyesstaringvacantly。Presentlyhewasmovedbyasenseofmyobservation,lookedupatme,andputoutaspiritlesshandforhisnewspaper。Thenheglancedagaininmydirection。
Ifeignedtoread。IfearedIhadunwittinglyembarrassedhim,andinamomentIwassurprisedtofindhimspeaking。
“Ibegyourpardon?“saidI。
“Thatbook,“herepeated,pointingaleanfinger,“isaboutdreams。“
“Obviously,“Ianswered,foritwasFortnum-Roscoe’sDreamStates,andthetitlewasonthecover。Hehungsilentforaspaceasifhesoughtwords。“Yes,“hesaidatlast,“buttheytellyounothing。“
Ididnotcatchhismeaningforasecond。
“Theydon’tknow,“headded。
Ilookedalittlemoreattentivelyathisface。
“Therearedreams,“hesaid,“anddreams。“
ThatsortofpropositionIneverdispute。
“Isuppose——“hehesitated。“Doyoueverdream?Imeanvividly。“
“Idreamverylittle,“Ianswered。“IdoubtifIhavethreevividdreamsinayear。“
“Ah!“hesaid,andseemedforamomenttocollecthisthoughts。
“Yourdreamsdon’tmixwithyourmemories?“heaskedabruptly。
“Youdon’tfindyourselfindoubt;didthishappenordiditnot?“
“Hardlyever。Exceptjustforamomentaryhesitationnowandthen。
Isupposefewpeopledo。“
“DoesHEsay——“heindicatedthebook。
“Saysithappensattimesandgivestheusualexplanationaboutintensityofimpressionandtheliketoaccountforitsnothappeningasarule。Isupposeyouknowsomethingofthesetheories——“
“Verylittle——exceptthattheyarewrong。“
Hisemaciatedhandplayedwiththestrapofthewindowforatime。
Ipreparedtoresumereading,andthatseemedtoprecipitatehisnextremark。Heleantforwardalmostasthoughhewouldtouchme。
“Isn’ttheresomethingcalledconsecutivedreaming——thatgoesonnightafternight?“
“Ibelievethereis。Therearecasesgiveninmostbooksonmentaltrouble。“
“Mentaltrouble!Yes。Idaresaythereare。It’stherightplaceforthem。ButwhatImean——“Helookedathisbonyknuckles。
“Isthatsortofthingalwaysdreaming?ISitdreaming?Orisitsomethingelse?Mightn’titbesomethingelse?“
Ishouldhavesnubbedhispersistentconversationbutforthedrawnanxietyofhisface。Iremembernowthelookofhisfadedeyesandthelidsred-stained——perhapsyouknowthatlook。
“I’mnotjustarguingaboutamatterofopinion,“hesaid。“Thething’skillingme。“
“Dreams?“
“Ifyoucallthemdreams。Nightafternight。Vivid!——sovivid……
this——“heindicatedthelandscapethatwentstreamingbythewindow“seemsunrealincomparison!IcanscarcelyrememberwhoIam,whatbusinessIamon……“
Hepaused。“Evennow——“
“Thedreamisalwaysthesame——doyoumean?“Iasked。
“It’sover。“
“Youmean?“
“Idied。“
“Died?“
“Smashedandkilled,andnow,somuchofmeasthatdreamwas,isdead。Deadforever。IdreamtIwasanotherman,youknow,livinginadifferentpartoftheworldandinadifferenttime。Idreamtthatnightafternight。NightafternightIwokeintothatotherlife。Freshscenesandfreshhappenings——untilIcameuponthelast——“
“Whenyoudied?“
“WhenIdied。“
“Andsincethen——“
“No,“hesaid。“ThankGod!Thatwastheendofthedream……“
ItwasclearIwasinforthisdream。Andafterall,Ihadanhourbeforeme,thelightwasfadingfast,andFortnum-Roscoehasadrearywaywithhim。“Livinginadifferenttime,“Isaid:
“doyoumeaninsomedifferentage?“
“Yes。“
“Past?“
“No,tocome——tocome。“
“Theyearthreethousand,forexample?“
“Idon’tknowwhatyearitwas。IdidwhenIwasasleep,whenIwasdreaming,thatis,butnotnow——notnowthatIamawake。There’salotofthingsIhaveforgottensinceIwokeoutofthesedreams,thoughIknewthematthetimewhenIwas——Isupposeitwasdreaming。
Theycalledtheyeardifferentlyfromourwayofcallingtheyear……
WhatDIDtheycallit?“Heputhishandtohisforehead。“No,“saidhe,“Iforget。“
Hesatsmilingweakly。ForamomentIfearedhedidnotmeantotellmehisdream。AsaruleIhatepeoplewhotelltheirdreams,butthisstruckmedifferently。Iprofferedassistanceeven。“Itbegan——“
Isuggested。
“Itwasvividfromthefirst。Iseemedtowakeupinitsuddenly。
Andit’scuriousthatinthesedreamsIamspeakingofIneverrememberedthislifeIamlivingnow。Itseemedasifthedreamlifewasenoughwhileitlasted。Perhaps——ButIwilltellyouhowIfindmyselfwhenIdomybesttorecallitall。Idon’trememberanythingdearlyuntilIfoundmyselfsittinginasortofloggialookingoutoverthesea。Ihadbeendozing,andsuddenlyIwokeup——freshandvivid——notabitdream-like——becausethegirlhadstoppedfanningme。“
“Thegirl?“
“Yes,thegirl。Youmustnotinterruptoryouwillputmeout。“
Hestoppedabruptly。“Youwon’tthinkI’mmad?“hesaid。
“No,“Ianswered;“you’vebeendreaming。Tellmeyourdream。“