Vows，love，promises，confidences，gratitude，howqueerlytheyreadafterawhile！ThereoughttobealawinVanityFairorderingthedestructionofeverywrittendocumentexceptreceiptedtradesmen’sbillsafteracertainbriefandproperinterval。ThosequacksandmisanthropeswhoadvertiseindelibleJapaninkshouldbemadetoperishalongwiththeirwickeddiscoveries。ThebestinkforVanityFairusewouldbeonethatfadedutterlyinacoupleofdays，andleftthepapercleanandblank，sothatyoumightwriteonittosomebodyelse。
　　FromMissPinkerton’stheindefatigableMrs。ButefollowedthetrackofSharpandhisdaughterbacktothelodgingsinGreekStreet，whichthedefunctpainterhadoccupied；andwhereportraitsofthelandladyinwhitesatin，andofthehusbandinbrassbuttons，donebySharpinlieuofaquarter’srent，stilldecoratedtheparlourwalls。Mrs。Stokeswasacommunicativeperson，andquicklytoldallsheknewaboutMr。Sharp；howdissoluteandpoorhewas；howgood-naturedandamusing；howhewasalwayshuntedbybailiffsandduns；how，tothelandlady’shorror，thoughshenevercouldabidethewoman，hedidnotmarryhiswifetillashorttimebeforeherdeath；andwhataqueerlittlewildvixenhisdaughterwas；howshekeptthemalllaughingwithherfunandmimicry；howsheusedtofetchtheginfromthepublic-house，andwasknowninallthestudiosinthequarter——inbrief，Mrs。Butegotsuchafullaccountofhernewniece’sparentage，education，andbehaviouraswouldscarcelyhavepleasedRebecca，hadthelatterknownthatsuchinquirieswerebeingmadeconcerningher。
　　OfalltheseindustriousresearchesMissCrawleyhadthefullbenefit。Mrs。RawdonCrawleywasthedaughterofanopera-girl。Shehaddancedherself。Shehadbeenamodeltothepainters。Shewasbroughtupasbecamehermother’sdaughter。Shedrankginwithherfather，&c。&c。Itwasalostwomanwhowasmarriedtoalostman；andthemoraltobeinferredfromMrs。Bute’stalewas，thattheknaveryofthepairwasirremediable，andthatnoproperlyconductedpersonshouldevernoticethemagain。
　　ThesewerethematerialswhichprudentMrs。ButegatheredtogetherinParkLane，theprovisionsandammunitionasitwerewithwhichshefortifiedthehouseagainstthesiegewhichsheknewthatRawdonandhiswifewouldlaytoMissCrawley。
　　Butifafaultmaybefoundwithherarrangements，itisthis，thatshewastooeager：shemanagedrathertoowell；undoubtedlyshemadeMissCrawleymoreillthanwasnecessary；andthoughtheoldinvalidsuccumbedtoherauthority，itwassoharassingandsevere，thatthevictimwouldbeinclinedtoescapeattheveryfirstchancewhichfellinherway。Managingwomen，theornamentsoftheirsex——womenwhoordereverythingforeverybody，andknowsomuchbetterthananypersonconcernedwhatisgoodfortheirneighbours，don’tsometimesspeculateuponthepossibilityofadomesticrevolt，oruponotherextremeconsequencesresultingfromtheiroverstrainedauthority。
　　Thus，forinstance，Mrs。Bute，withthebestintentionsnodoubtintheworld，andwearingherselftodeathasshedidbyforegoingsleep，dinner，freshair，forthesakeofherinvalidsister-in-law，carriedherconvictionoftheoldlady’sillnesssofarthatshealmostmanagedherintohercoffin。Shepointedouthersacrificesandtheirresultsonedaytotheconstantapothecary，Mr。Clump。
　　“Iamsure，mydearMr。Clump。”shesaid，“noeffortsofminehavebeenwantingtorestoreourdearinvalid，whomtheingratitudeofhernephewhaslaidonthebedofsickness。Inevershrinkfrompersonaldiscomfort：I
　　neverrefusetosacrificemyself。”
　　“Yourdevotion，itmustbeconfessed，isadmirable。”
　　Mr。Clumpsays，withalowbow；“but——“
　　“Ihavescarcelyclosedmyeyessincemyarrival：I
　　giveupsleep，health，everycomfort，tomysenseofduty。
　　WhenmypoorJameswasinthesmallpox，didIallowanyhirelingtonursehim？No。”
　　“Youdidwhatbecameanexcellentmother，mydearMadam——thebestofmothers；but——~’
　　“AsthemotherofafamilyandthewifeofanEnglishclergyman，Ihumblytrustthatmyprinciplesaregood。”
　　Mrs。Butesaid，withahappysolemnityofconviction；
　　“and，aslongasNaturesupportsme，never，never，Mr。
　　Clump，willIdesertthepostofduty。OthersmaybringthatgreyheadwithsorrowtothebedofsicknesshereMrs。Bute，wavingherhand，pointedtooneofoldMissCrawley’scoffee-colouredfronts，whichwasperchedonastandinthedressing-room，butIwillneverquitit。
　　Ah，Mr。Clump！Ifear，Iknow，thatthecouchneedsspiritualaswellasmedicalconsolation。”
　　“WhatIwasgoingtoobserve，mydearMadam。”——
　　heretheresoluteClumponcemoreinterposedwithablandair——“whatIwasgoingtoobservewhenyougaveutterancetosentimentswhichdoyousomuchhonour，wasthatIthinkyoualarmyourselfneedlesslyaboutourkindfriend，andsacrificeyourownhealthtooprodigallyinherfavour。”
　　“Iwouldlaydownmylifeformyduty，orforanymemberofmyhusband’sfamily。”Mrs。Buteinterposed。
　　“Yes，Madam，ifneedwere；butwedon’twantMrsButeCrawleytobeamartyr。”Clumpsaidgallantly。”DrSquillsandmyselfhavebothconsideredMissCrawley’scasewitheveryanxietyandcare，asyoumaysuppose。Weseeherlow-spiritedandnervous；familyeventshaveagitatedher。”
　　“Hernephewwillcometoperdition。”Mrs。Crawleycried。
　　“Haveagitatedher：andyouarrivedlikeaguardianangel，mydearMadam，apositiveguardianangel，I
　　assureyou，tosootheherunderthepressureofcalamity。
　　ButDr。SquillsandIwerethinkingthatouramiablefriendisnotinsuchastateasrendersconfinementtoherbednecessary。Sheisdepressed，butthisconfinementperhapsaddstoherdepression。Sheshouldhavechange，freshair，gaiety；themostdelightfulremediesinthepharmacopoeia。”Mr。Clumpsaid，grinningandshowinghishandsometeeth。”Persuadehertorise，dearMadam；
　　dragherfromhercouchandherlowspirits；insistuponhertakinglittledrives。Theywillrestoretherosestootoyourcheeks，ifImaysospeaktoMrs。ButeCrawley。”
　　“ThesightofherhorridnephewcasuallyinthePark，whereIamtoldthewretchdriveswiththebrazenpartnerofhiscrimes。”Mrs。Butesaidlettingthecatofselfishnessoutofthebagofsecrecy，“wouldcausehersuchashock，thatweshouldhavetobringherbacktobedagain。Shemustnotgoout，Mr。Clump。SheshallnotgooutaslongasIremaintowatchoverher；Andasformyhealth，whatmattersit？Igiveitcheerfully，sir。Isacrificeitatthealtarofmyduty。”
　　“Uponmyword，Madam。”Mr。Clumpnowsaidbluntly。”Iwon’tanswerforherlifeifsheremainslockedupinthatdarkroom。Sheissonervousthatwemayloseheranyday；andifyouwishCaptainCrawleytobeherheir，Iwarnyoufrankly，Madam，thatyouaredoingyourverybesttoservehim。”
　　“Graciousmercy！isherlifeindanger？”Mrs。Butecried。”Why，why，Mr。Clump，didyounotinformmesooner？”
　　Thenightbefore，Mr。ClumpandDr。SquillshadhadaconsultationoverabottleofwineatthehouseofSirLapinWarren，whoseladywasabouttopresenthimwithathirteenthblessing，regardingMissCrawleyandhercase。
　　“WhatalittleharpythatwomanfromHampshireis，Clump。”Squillsremarked，“thathasseizeduponoldTillyCrawley。DevilishgoodMadeira。”
　　“WhatafoolRawdonCrawleyhasbeen。”Clumpreplied。”togoandmarryagoverness！Therewassomethingaboutthegirl，too。”
　　“Greeneyes，fairskin，prettyfigure，famousfrontaldevelopment。”Squillsremarked。”Thereissomethingabouther；andCrawleywasafool，Squills。”
　　“Ad——fool——alwayswas。”theapothecaryreplied。
　　“Ofcoursetheoldgirlwillflinghimover。”saidthephysician，andafterapauseadded，“She’llcutupwell，I
　　suppose。”
　　“Cutup。”saysClumpwithagrin；“Iwouldn’thavehercutupfortwohundredayear。”
　　“ThatHampshirewomanwillkillherintwomonths，Clump，myboy，ifshestopsabouther。”Dr。Squillssaid。
　　“Oldwoman；fullfeeder；nervoussubject；palpitationoftheheart；pressureonthebrain；apoplexy；offshegoes。
　　Getherup，Clump；getherout：orIwouldn’tgivemanyweeks’purchaseforyourtwohundredayear。”AnditwasactinguponthishintthattheworthyapothecaryspokewithsomuchcandourtoMrs。ButeCrawley。
　　Havingtheoldladyunderherhand：inbed：withnobodynear，Mrs。Butehadmademorethanoneassaultuponher，toinducehertoalterherwill。ButMissCrawley’susualterrorsregardingdeathincreasedgreatlywhensuchdismalpropositionsweremadetoher，andMrs。
　　Butesawthatshemustgetherpatientintocheerfulspiritsandhealthbeforeshecouldhopetoattainthepiousobjectwhichshehadinview。Whithertotakeherwasthenextpuzzle。TheonlyplacewheresheisnotlikelytomeetthoseodiousRawdonsisatchurch，andthatwon’tamuseher，Mrs。Butejustlyfelt。”WemustgoandvisitourbeautifulsuburbsofLondon。”shethenthought。”I
　　heartheyarethemostpicturesqueintheworld“；andsoshehadasuddeninterestforHampstead，andHornsey，andfoundthatDulwichhadgreatcharmsforher，andgettinghervictimintohercarriage，drovehertothoserusticspots，beguilingthelittlejourneyswithconversationsaboutRawdonandhiswife，andtellingeverystorytotheoldladywhichcouldaddtoherindignationagainstthispairofreprobates。
　　PerhapsMrs。Butepulledthestringunnecessarilytight。
　　ForthoughsheworkedupMissCrawleytoaproperdislikeofherdisobedientnephew，theinvalidhadagreathatredandsecretterrorofhervictimizer，andpantedtoescapefromher。Afterabriefspace，sherebelledagainstHighgateandHornseyutterly。ShewouldgointothePark。Mrs。ButeknewtheywouldmeettheabominableRawdonthere，andshewasright。Onedayinthering，Rawdon’sstanhopecameinsight；Rebeccawasseatedbyhim。Intheenemy’sequipageMissCrawleyoccupiedherusualplace，withMrs。Buteonherleft，thepoodleandMissBriggsonthebackseat。Itwasanervousmoment，andRebecca’sheartbeatquickassherecognizedthecarriage；andasthetwovehiclescrossedeachotherinaline，sheclaspedherhands，andlookedtowardsthespinsterwithafaceofagonizedattachmentanddevotion。
　　Rawdonhimselftrembled，andhisfacegrewpurplebehindhisdyedmustachios。OnlyoldBriggswasmovedintheothercarriage，andcasthergreateyesnervouslytowardsheroldfriends。MissCrawley’sbonnetwasresolutelyturnedtowardstheSerpentine。Mrs。Butehappenedtobeinecstasieswiththepoodle，andwascallinghimalittledarling，andasweetlittlezoggy，andaprettypet。Thecarriagesmovedon，eachinhisline。
　　“Done，byJove。”Rawdonsaidtohiswife。
　　“Tryoncemore，Rawdon。”Rebeccaanswered。”Couldnotyoulockyourwheelsintotheirs，dearest？”
　　Rawdonhadnottheheartforthatmanoeuvre。Whenthecarriagesmetagain，hestoodupinhisstanhope；heraisedhishandreadytodoffhishat；helookedwithallhiseyes。ButthistimeMissCrawley’sfacewasnotturnedaway；sheandMrs。Butelookedhimfullintheface，andcuttheirnephewpitilessly。Hesankbackinhisseatwithanoath，andstrikingoutofthering，dashedawaydesperatelyhomewards。
　　ItwasagallantanddecidedtriumphforMrs。Bute。
　　Butshefeltthedangerofmanysuchmeetings，asshesawtheevidentnervousnessofMissCrawley；andshedeterminedthatitwasmostnecessaryforherdearfriend’shealth，thattheyshouldleavetownforawhile，andrecommendedBrightonverystrongly。
　　InWhichCaptainDobbinActsastheMessengerofHymenWithoutknowinghow，CaptainWilliamDobbinfoundhimselfthegreatpromoter，arranger，andmanagerofthematchbetweenGeorgeOsborneandAmelia。Butforhimitneverwouldhavetakenplace：hecouldnotbutconfessasmuchtohimself，andsmiledratherbitterlyashethoughtthatheofallmenintheworldshouldbethepersonuponwhomthecareofthismarriagehadfallen。
　　Butthoughindeedtheconductingofthisnegotiationwasaboutaspainfulataskascouldbesettohim，yetwhenhehadadutytoperform，CaptainDobbinwasaccustomedtogothroughitwithoutmanywordsormuchhesitation：and，havingmadeuphismindcompletely，thatifMissSedleywasbalkedofherhusbandshewoulddieofthedisappointment，hewasdeterminedtouseallhisbestendeavourstokeepheralive。
　　IforbeartoenterintominuteparticularsoftheinterviewbetweenGeorgeandAmelia，whentheformerwasbroughtbacktothefeetorshouldweventuretosaythearms？ofhisyoungmistressbytheinterventionofhisfriendhonestWilliam。AmuchharderheartthanGeorge’swouldhavemeltedatthesightofthatsweetfacesosadlyravagedbygriefanddespair，andatthesimpletenderaccentsinwhichshetoldherlittlebroken-
　　heartedstory：butasshedidnotfaintwhenhermother，trembling，broughtOsbornetoher；andassheonlygaverelieftoheroverchargedgrief，bylayingherheadonherlover’sshoulderandthereweepingforawhilethemosttender，copious，andrefreshingtears——oldMrs。
　　Sedley，toogreatlyrelieved，thoughtitwasbesttoleavetheyoungpersonstothemselves；andsoquittedEmmycryingoverGeorge’shand，andkissingithumbly，asifhewerehersupremechiefandmaster，andasifshewerequiteaguiltyandunworthypersonneedingeveryfavourandgracefromhim。
　　ThisprostrationandsweetunrepiningobedienceexquisitelytouchedandflatteredGeorgeOsborne。Hesawaslavebeforehiminthatsimpleyieldingfaithfulcreature，andhissoulwithinhimthrilledsecretlysomehowattheknowledgeofhispower。Hewouldbegenerous-