MissCrawleyatNurseWehaveseenhowMrs。Firkin，thelady’smaid，assoonasanyeventofimportancetotheCrawleyfamilycametoherknowledge，feltboundtocommunicateittoMrs。
　　ButeCrawley，attheRectory；andhavebeforementionedhowparticularlykindandattentivethatgood-
　　naturedladywastoMissCrawley’sconfidentialservant。
　　ShehadbeenagraciousfriendtoMissBriggs，thecompanion，also；andhadsecuredthelatter’sgood-willbyanumberofthoseattentionsandpromises，whichcostsolittleinthemaking，andareyetsovaluableandagreeabletotherecipient。Indeedeverygoodeconomistandmanagerofahouseholdmustknowhowcheapandyethowamiabletheseprofessionsare，andwhataflavourtheygivetothemosthomelydishinlife。Whowastheblunderingidiotwhosaidthat“finewordsbutternoparsnips“？Halftheparsnipsofsocietyareservedandrenderedpalatablewithnoothersauce。AstheimmortalAlexisSoyercanmakemoredelicioussoupforahalf-
　　pennythananignorantcookcanconcoctwithpoundsofvegetablesandmeat，soaskilfulartistwillmakeafewsimpleandpleasingphrasesgofartherthaneversomuchsubstantialbenefit-stockinthehandsofamerebungler。
　　Nay，weknowthatsubstantialbenefitsoftensickensomestomachs；whereas，mostwilldigestanyamountoffinewords，andbealwayseagerformoreofthesamefood。
　　Mrs。ButehadtoldBriggsandFirkinsooftenofthedepthofheraffectionforthem；andwhatshewoulddo，ifshehadMissCrawley’sfortune，forfriendssoexcellentandattached，thattheladiesinquestionhadthedeepestregardforher；andfeltasmuchgratitudeandconfidenceasifMrs。Butehadloadedthemwiththemostexpensivefavours。
　　RawdonCrawley，ontheotherhand，likeaselfishheavydragoonashewas，nevertooktheleasttroubletoconciliatehisaunt’saides-de-camp，showedhiscontemptforthepairwithentirefrankness——madeFirkinpulloffhisbootsononeoccasion——sentheroutintherainonignominiousmessages——andifhegaveheraguinea，flungittoherasifitwereaboxontheear。Ashisaunt，too，madeabuttofBriggs，theCaptainfollowedtheexample，andlevelledhisjokesather——jokesaboutasdelicateasakickfromhischarger。Whereas，Mrs。Buteconsultedherinmattersoftasteordifficulty，admiredherpoetry，andbyathousandactsofkindnessandpoliteness，showedherappreciationofBriggs；andifshemadeFirkinatwopenny-halfpennypresent，accompanieditwithsomanycompliments，thatthetwopence-half-
　　pennywastransmutedintogoldintheheartofthegratefulwaiting-maid，who，besides，waslookingforwardsquitecontentedlytosomeprodigiousbenefitwhichmusthappentoheronthedaywhenMrs。Butecameintoherfortune。
　　Thedifferentconductofthesetwopeopleispointedoutrespectfullytotheattentionofpersonscommencingtheworld。Praiseeverybody，Isaytosuch：neverbesqueamish，butspeakoutyourcomplimentbothpoint-
　　blankinaman’sface，andbehindhisback，whenyouknowthereisareasonablechanceofhishearingitagain。Neverloseachanceofsayingakindword。AsCollingwoodneversawavacantplaceinhisestatebuthetookanacornoutofhispocketandpoppeditin；
　　sodealwithyourcomplimentsthroughlife。Anacorncostsnothing；butitmaysproutintoaprodigiousbitoftimber。
　　Inaword，duringRawdonCrawley’sprosperity，hewasonlyobeyedwithsulkyacquiescence；whenhisdisgracecame，therewasnobodytohelporpityhim。Whereas，whenMrs。ButetookthecommandatMissCrawley’shouse，thegarrisontherewerecharmedtoactundersuchaleader，expectingallsortsofpromotionfromherpromises，hergenerosity，andherkindwords。
　　Thathewouldconsiderhimselfbeaten，afteronedefeat，andmakenoattempttoregainthepositionhehadlost，Mrs。ButeCrawleyneverallowedherselftosuppose。
　　SheknewRebeccatobetoocleverandspiritedanddesperateawomantosubmitwithoutastruggle；andfeltthatshemustprepareforthatcombat，andbeincessantlywatchfulagainstassault；ormine，orsurprise。
　　Inthefirstplace，thoughsheheldthetown，wasshesureoftheprincipalinhabitant？WouldMissCrawleyherselfholdout；andhadshenotasecretlongingtowelcomebacktheoustedadversary？TheoldladylikedRawdon，andRebecca，whoamusedher。Mrs。Butecouldnotdisguisefromherselfthefactthatnoneofherpartycouldsocontributetothepleasuresofthetown-bredlady。”Mygirls’singing，afterthatlittleodiousgoverness’s，Iknowisunbearable。”thecandidRector’swifeownedtoherself。”ShealwaysusedtogotosleepwhenMarthaandLouisaplayedtheirduets。Jim’sstiffcollegemannersandpoordearBute’stalkabouthisdogsandhorsesalwaysannoyedher。IfItookhertotheRectory，shewouldgrowangrywithusall，andfly，I
　　knowshewould；andmightfallintothathorridRawdon’sclutchesagain，andbethevictimofthatlittleviperofaSharp。Meanwhile，itiscleartomethatsheisexceedinglyunwell，andcannotmoveforsomeweeks，atanyrate；duringwhichwemustthinkofsomeplantoprotectherfromtheartsofthoseunprincipledpeople。”
　　Intheverybest-ofmoments，ifanybodytoldMissCrawleythatshewas，orlookedill，thetremblingoldladysentoffforherdoctor；andIdaresayshewasveryunwellafterthesuddenfamilyevent，whichmightservetoshakestrongernervesthanhers。Atleast，Mrs。Butethoughtitwasherdutytoinformthephysician，andtheapothecary，andthedame-de-compagnie，andthedomestics，thatMissCrawleywasinamostcriticalstate，andthattheyweretoactaccordingly。Shehadthestreetlaidknee-deepwithstraw；andtheknockerputbywithMr。
　　Bowls’splate。SheinsistedthattheDoctorshouldcalltwiceaday；anddelugedherpatientwithdraughtseverytwohours。Whenanybodyenteredtheroom，sheutteredashshshshsosibilantandominous，thatitfrightenedthepooroldladyinherbed，fromwhichshecouldnotlookwithoutseeingMrs。Bute’sbeadyeyeseagerlyfixedonher，asthelattersatesteadfastinthearm-chairbythebedside。Theyseemedtolighteninthedarkforshekeptthecurtainsclosedasshemovedabouttheroomonvelvetpawslikeacat。ThereMissCrawleylayfordays——eversomanydays——Mr。Butereadingbooksofdevotiontoher：fornights，longnights，duringwhichshehadtohearthewatchmansing，thenight-lightsputter；
　　visitedatmidnight，thelastthing，bythestealthyapothecary；
　　andthenlefttolookatMrs。Bute’stwinklingeyes，ortheflicksofyellowthattherushlightthrewonthedrearydarkenedceiling。Hygeiaherselfwouldhavefallensickundersucharegimen；andhowmuchmorethispooroldnervousvictim？Ithasbeensaidthatwhenshewasinhealthandgoodspirits，thisvenerableinhabitantofVanityFairhadasfreenotionsaboutreligionandmoralsasMonsieurdeVoltairehimselfcoulddesire，butwhenillnessovertookher，itwasaggravatedbythemostdreadfulterrorsofdeath，andanuttercowardicetookpossessionoftheprostrateoldsinner。
　　Sick-bedhomiliesandpiousreflectionsare，tobesure，outofplaceinmerestory-books，andwearenotgoingafterthefashionofsomenovelistsofthepresentday
　　tocajolethe。publicintoasermon，whenitisonlyacomedythatthereaderpayshismoneytowitness。But，withoutpreaching，thetruthmaysurelybeborneinmind，thatthebustle，andtriumph，andlaughter，andgaietywhichVanityFairexhibitsinpublic，donotalwayspursuetheperformerintoprivatelife，andthatthemostdrearydepressionofspiritsanddismalrepentancessometimesovercomehim。Recollectionofthebestordainedbanquetswillscarcelycheersickepicures。Reminiscencesofthemostbecomingdressesandbrilliantballtriumphswillgoverylittlewaytoconsolefadedbeauties。Perhapsstatesmen，ataparticularperiodofexistence，arenotmuchgratifiedatthinkingoverthemosttriumphantdivisions；andthesuccessorthepleasureofyesterdaybecomesofverysmallaccountwhenacertainalbeituncertainmorrowisinview，aboutwhichallofusmustsomedayorotherbespeculating。Obrotherwearersofmotley！Aretherenotmomentswhenonegrowssickofgrinningandtumbling，andthejinglingofcapandbells？This，dearfriendsandcompanions，ismyamiableobject——towalkwithyouthroughtheFair，toexaminetheshopsandtheshowsthere；andthatweshouldallcomehomeaftertheflare，andthenoise，andthegaiety，andbeperfectlymiserableinprivate。
　　“Ifthatpoormanofminehadaheadonhisshoulders。”
　　Mrs。ButeCrawleythoughttoherself，“howusefulhemightbe，underpresentcircumstances，tothisunhappyoldlady！Hemightmakeherrepentofhershockingfree-thinkingways；hemighturgehertodoherduty，andcastoffthatodiousreprobatewhohasdisgracedhimselfandhisfamily；andhemightinducehertodojusticetomydeargirlsandthetwoboys，whorequireanddeserve，Iamsure，everyassistancewhichtheirrelativescangivethem。”
　　And，asthehatredofviceisalwaysaprogresstowardsvirtue，Mrs。ButeCrawleyendeavouredtoinstilhersister-in-lawaproperabhorrenceforallRawdonCrawley’smanifoldsins：ofwhichhisuncle’swifebroughtforwardsuchacatalogueasindeedwouldhaveservedtocondemnawholeregimentofyoungofficers。Ifamanhascommittedwronginlife，Idon’tknowanymoralistmoreanxioustopointhiserrorsouttotheworldthanhisownrelations；soMrs。ButeshowedaperfectfamilyinterestandknowledgeofRawdon’shistory。ShehadalltheparticularsofthatuglyquarrelwithCaptainMarker，inwhichRawdon，wrongfromthebeginning，endedinshootingtheCaptain。SheknewhowtheunhappyLordDovedale，whosemammahadtakenahouseatOxford，sothathemightbeeducatedthere，andwhohadnevertouchedacardinhislifetillhecametoLondon，waspervertedbyRawdonattheCocoa-Tree，madehelplesslytipsybythisabominableseducerandperverterofyouth，andfleecedoffourthousandpounds。Shedescribedwiththemostvividminutenesstheagoniesofthecountryfamilieswhomhehadruined——thesonswhomhehadplungedintodishonourandpoverty——thedaughterswhomhehadinveigledintoperdition。Sheknewthepoortradesmenwhowerebankruptbyhisextravagance——themeanshiftsandroguerieswithwhichhehadministeredtoit——theastoundingfalsehoodsbywhichhehadimposeduponthemostgenerousofaunts，andtheingratitudeandridiculebywhichhehadrepaidhersacrifices。SheimpartedthesestoriesgraduallytoMissCrawley；gaveherthewholebenefitofthem；feltittobeherboundendutyasaChristianwomanandmotherofafamilytodoso；
　　hadnotthesmallestremorseorcompunctionforthevictimwhomhertonguewasimmolating；nay，verylikelythoughtheractwasquitemeritorious，andplumedherselfuponherresolutemannerofperformingit。Yes，ifaman’scharacteristobeabused，saywhatyouwill，there’snobodylikearelationtodothebusiness。Andoneisboundtoown，regardingthisunfortunatewretchofaRawdonCrawley，thatthemeretruthwasenoughtocondemnhim，andthatallinventionsofscandalwerequitesuperfluouspainsonhisfriends’parts。
　　Rebecca，too，beingnowarelative，cameinforthefullestshareofMrs。Bute’skindinquiries。ThisindefatigablepursueroftruthhavinggivenstrictordersthatthedoorwastobedeniedtoallemissariesorlettersfromRawdon，tookMissCrawley’scarriage，anddrovetoheroldfriendMissPinkerton，atMinervaHouse，ChiswickMall，towhomsheannouncedthedreadfulintelligenceofCaptainRawdon’sseductionbyMissSharp，andfromwhomshegotsundrystrangeparticularsregardingtheex-governess’sbirthandearlyhistory。ThefriendoftheLexicographerhadplentyofinformationtogive。MissJemimawasmadetofetchthedrawing-
　　master’sreceiptsandletters。Thisonewasfromaspunging-house：thatentreatedanadvance：anotherwasfullofgratitudeforRebecca’sreceptionbytheladiesofChiswick：andthelastdocumentfromtheunluckyartist’spenwasthatinwhich，fromhisdyingbed，herecommendedhisorphanchildtoMissPinkerton’sprotection。TherewerejuvenilelettersandpetitionsfromRebecca，too，inthecollection，imploringaidforherfatherordeclaringherowngratitude。PerhapsinVanityFairtherearenobettersatiresthanletters。Takeabundleofyourdearfriend’softenyearsback——yourdearfriendwhomyouhatenow。Lookatafileofyoursister’s！howyouclungtoeachothertillyouquarrelledaboutthetwenty-poundlegacy！Getdowntheround-handscrawlsofyoursonwhohashalfbrokenyourheartwithselfishundutifulnesssince；oraparcelofyourown，breathingendlessardourandloveeternal，whichweresentbackbyyourmistresswhenshemarriedtheNabob——yourmistressforwhomyounowcarenomorethanforQueenElizabeth。