GeorgynevertiredofhispraisesoftheMajortohismother。”Ilikehim，Mamma，becauseheknowssuchlotsofthings；andheain’tlikeoldVeal，whoisalwaysbraggingandusingsuchlongwords，don’tyouknow？Thechapscallhim’Longtail’atschool。Igavehimthename；
　　ain’titcapital？ButDobreadsLatinlikeEnglish，andFrenchandthat；andwhenwegoouttogetherhetellsmestoriesaboutmyPapa，andneverabouthimself；thoughI
　　heardColonelBuckler，atGrandpapa’s，saythathewasoneofthebravestofficersinthearmy，andhaddistinguishedhimselfeversomuch。Grandpapawasquitesurprised，andsaid，’THATfeller！Why，Ididn’tthinkhecouldsayBotoagoose’——butlknowhecould，couldn’the，Mamma？”
　　Emmylaughed：shethoughtitwasverylikelytheMajorcoulddothusmuch。
　　IftherewasasincerelikingbetweenGeorgeandtheMajor，itmustbeconfessedthatbetweentheboyandhisunclenogreatloveexisted。Georgehadgotawayofblowingouthischeeks，andputtinghishandsinhiswaistcoatpockets，andsaying，“Godblessmysoul，youdon’tsayso。”soexactlyafterthefashionofoldJosthatitwasimpossibletorefrainfromlaughter。Theservantswouldexplodeatdinnerifthelad，askingforsomethingwhichwasn’tattable，putonthatcountenanceandusedthatfavouritephrase。EvenDobbinwouldshootoutasuddenpealattheboy’smimicry。IfGeorgedidnotmimichisuncletohisface，itwasonlybyDobbin’srebukesandAmelia’sterrifiedentreatiesthatthelittlescapegracewasinducedtodesist。Andtheworthycivilianbeinghauntedbyadimconsciousnessthattheladthoughthimanass，andwasinclinedtoturnhimintoridicule，usedtobeextremelytimorousand，ofcourse，doublypompousanddignifiedinthepresenceofMasterGeorgy。WhenitwasannouncedthattheyounggentlemanwasexpectedinGillespieStreettodinewithhismother，Mr。JoscommonlyfoundthathehadanengagementattheClub。
　　Perhapsnobodywasmuchgrievedathisabsence。OnthosedaysMr。Sedleywouldcommonlybeinducedtocomeoutfromhisplaceofrefugeintheupperstories，andtherewouldbeasmallfamilyparty，whereofMajorDobbinprettygenerallyformedone。Hewastheamidelamaison——oldSedley’sfriend，Emmy’sfriend，Georgy’sfriend，Jos’scounselandadviser。”HemightalmostaswellbeatMadrasforanythingWEseeofhim。”MissAnnDobbinremarkedatCamberwell。Ah！MissAnn，diditnotstrikeyouthatitwasnotYOUwhomtheMajorwantedtomarry？
　　JosephSedleythenledalifeofdignifiedotiositysuchasbecameapersonofhiseminence。Hisveryfirstpoint，ofcourse，wastobecomeamemberoftheOrientalClub，wherehespenthismorningsinthecompanyofhisbrotherIndians，wherehedined，orwhencehebroughthomementodine。
　　Ameliahadtoreceiveandentertainthesegentlemenandtheirladies。FromthesesheheardhowsoonSmithwouldbeinCouncil；howmanylacsJoneshadbroughthomewithhim，howThomson’sHouseinLondonhadrefusedthebillsdrawnbyThomson，Kibobjee，andCo。，theBombayHouse，andhowitwasthoughttheCalcuttaHousemustgotoo；howveryimprudent，tosaytheleastofit，Mrs。Brown’sconductwifeofBrownoftheAhmednuggurIrregularshadbeenwithyoungSwankeyoftheBodyGuard，sittingupwithhimondeckuntilallhours，andlosingthemselvesastheywereridingoutattheCape；howMrs。Hardymanhadhadoutherthirteensisters，daughtersofacountrycurate，theRev：FelixRabbits，andmarriedelevenofthem，sevenhighupintheservice；howHornbywaswildbecausehiswifewouldstayinEurope，andTrotterwasappointedCollectoratUmmerapoora。Thisandsimilartalktookplaceatthegranddinnersallround。Theyhadthesameconversation；thesamesilverdishes；thesamesaddlesofmutton，boiledturkeys，andentrees。Politicssetinashorttimeafterdessert，whentheladiesretiredupstairsandtalkedabouttheircomplaintsandtheirchildren。
　　Mutatonomine，itisallthesame。Don’tthebarristers’
　　wivestalkaboutCircuit？Don’tthesoldiers’ladiesgossipabouttheRegiment？Don’ttheclergymen’sladiesdiscourseaboutSunday-schoolsandwhotakeswhoseduty？
　　Don’ttheverygreatestladiesofalltalkaboutthatsmallcliqueofpersonstowhomtheybelong？AndwhyshouldourIndianfriendsnothavetheirownconversation？——
　　onlyIadmititisslowforthelaymenwhosefateitsometimesistositbyandlisten。
　　BeforelongEmmyhadavisiting-book，andwasdrivingaboutregularlyinacarriage，callinguponLadyBludyerwifeofMajor-GeneralSirRogerBludyer，K。C。B。，BengalArmy；LadyHuff，wifeofSirG。Huff，Bombayditto；
　　Mrs。Pice，theLadyofPicetheDirector，&c。Wearenotlonginusingourselvestochangesinlife。ThatcarriagecameroundtoGillespieStreeteveryday；thatbuttonyboysprangupanddownfromtheboxwithEmmy’sandJos’svisiting-cards；atstatedhoursEmmyandthecarriagewentforJostotheClubandtookhimanairing；
　　or，puttingoldSedleyintothevehicle，shedrovetheoldmanroundtheRegent’sPark。Thelady’smaidandthechariot，thevisiting-bookandthebuttonypage，becamesoonasfamiliartoAmeliaasthehumbleroutineofBrompton。Sheaccommodatedherselftooneastotheother。IfFatehadordainedthatsheshouldbeaDuchess，shewouldevenhavedonethatdutytoo。Shewasvoted，inJos’sfemalesociety，ratherapleasingyoungperson——
　　notmuchinher，butpleasing，andthatsortofthing。
　　Themen，asusual，likedherartlesskindnessandsimplerefineddemeanour。ThegallantyoungIndiandandiesathomeonfurlough——immensedandiesthese——chainedandmoustached——drivingintearingcabs，thepillarsofthetheatres，livingatWestEndhotels——neverthelessadmiredMrs。Osborne，likedtobowtohercarriageinthepark，andtobeadmittedtohavethehonourofpayingheramorningvisit。SwankeyoftheBodyGuardhimself，thatdangerousyouth，andthegreatestbuckofalltheIndianarmynowonleave，wasonedaydiscoveredbyMajorDobbintete-a-tetewithAmelia，anddescribingthesportofpig-stickingtoherwithgreathumourandeloquence；andhespokeafterwardsofad——dking’sofficerthat’salwayshangingaboutthehouse——along，thin，queer-looking，oldishfellow——adryfellowthough，thattooktheshineoutofamaninthetalkingline。
　　HadtheMajorpossessedalittlemorepersonalvanityhewouldhavebeenjealousofsodangerousayoungbuckasthatfascinatingBengalCaptain。ButDobbinwasoftoosimpleandgenerousanaturetohaveanydoubtsaboutAmelia。Hewasgladthattheyoungmenshouldpayherrespect，andthatothersshouldadmireher。Eversinceherwomanhoodalmost，hadshenotbeenpersecutedandundervalued？Itpleasedhimtoseehowkindnessboughtouthergoodqualitiesandhowherspiritsgentlyrosewithherprosperity。AnypersonwhoappreciatedherpaidacomplimenttotheMajor’sgoodjudgement——thatis，ifamanmaybesaidtohavegoodjudgementwhoisundertheinfluenceofLove’sdelusion。
　　AfterJoswenttoCourt，whichwemaybesurehedidasaloyalsubjectofhisSovereignshowinghimselfinhisfullcourtsuitattheClub，whitherDobbincametofetchhiminaveryshabbyolduniformhewhohadalwaysbeenastaunchLoyalistandadmirerofGeorgeIV，becamesuchatremendousToryandpillaroftheStatethathewasforhavingAmeliatogotoaDrawing-room，too。HesomehowhadworkedhimselfuptobelievethathewasimplicatedinthemaintenanceofthepublicwelfareandthattheSovereignwouldnotbehappyunlessJosSedleyandhisfamilyappearedtorallyroundhimatSt。James’s。
　　Emmylaughed。”ShallIwearthefamilydiamonds，Jos？”shesaid。
　　“Iwishyouwouldletmebuyyousome。”thoughttheMajor。”Ishouldliketoseeanythatweretoogoodforyou。”
　　CHAPTERLXI
　　InWhichTwoLightsarePutOutTherecameadaywhentheroundofdecorouspleasuresandsolemngaietiesinwhichMr。JosSedley’sfamilyindulgedwasinterruptedbyaneventwhichhappensinmosthouses。Asyouascendthestaircaseofyourhousefromthedrawingtowardsthebedroomfloors，youmayhaveremarkedalittlearchinthewallrightbeforeyou，whichatoncegiveslighttothestairwhichleadsfromthesecondstorytothethirdwherethenurseryandservants’chamberscommonlyareandservesforanotherpurposeofutility，ofwhichtheundertaker’smencangiveyouanotion。Theyrestthecoffinsuponthatarch，orpassthemthroughitsoasnottodisturbinanyunseemlymannerthecoldtenantslumberingwithintheblackark。
　　Thatsecond-floorarchinaLondonhouse，lookingupanddownthewellofthestaircaseandcommandingthemainthoroughfarebywhichtheinhabitantsarepassing；
　　bywhichcooklurksdownbeforedaylighttoscourherpotsandpansinthekitchen；bywhichyoungmasterstealthilyascends，havinglefthisbootsinthehall，andlethimselfinafterdawnfromajollynightattheClub；
　　downwhichmisscomesrustlinginfreshribbonsandspreadingmuslins，brilliantandbeautiful，andpreparedforconquestandtheball；orMasterTommyslides，preferringthebanistersforamodeofconveyance，anddisdainingdangerandthestair；downwhichthemotherisfondlycarriedsmilinginherstronghusband’sarms，ashestepssteadilystepbystep，andfollowedbythemonthlynurse，onthedaywhenthemedicalmanhaspronouncedthatthecharmingpatientmaygodownstairs；
　　upwhichJohnlurkstobed，yawning，withasputteringtallowcandle，andtogatherupbeforesunrisethebootswhichareawaitinghiminthepassages——thatstair，upordownwhichbabiesarecarried，oldpeoplearehelped，guestsaremarshalledtotheball，theparsonwalkstothechristening，thedoctortothesick-room，andtheundertaker’smentotheupperfloor——whatamementoofLife，Death，andVanityitis——thatarchandstair——ifyouchoosetoconsiderit，andsitonthelanding，lookingupanddownthewell！Thedoctorwillcomeuptoustooforthelasttimethere，myfriendinmotley。Thenursewilllookinatthecurtains，andyoutakenonotice——andthenshewillflingopenthewindowsforalittleandletintheair。Thentheywillpulldownallthefrontblindsofthehouseandliveinthebackrooms——thentheywillsendforthelawyerandothermeninblack，&c。Yourcomedyandminewillhavebeenplayedthen，andweshallberemoved，oh，howfar，fromthetrumpets，andtheshouting，andtheposture-making。Ifwearegentlefolkstheywillputhatchmentsoverourlatedomicile，withgiltcherubim，andmottoesstatingthatthereis“QuietinHeaven。”Yoursonwillnewfurnishthehouse，orperhapsletit，andgointoamoremodernquarter；yournamewillbeamongthe“MembersDeceased“inthelistsofyourclubsnextyear。Howevermuchyoumaybemourned，yourwidowwillliketohaveherweedsneatlymade——thecookwillsendorcomeuptoaskaboutdinner——thesurvivorwillsoonbeartolookatyourpictureoverthemantelpiece，whichwillpresentlybedeposedfromtheplaceofhonour，tomakewayfortheportraitofthesonwhoreigns。
　　Whichofthedeadaremosttenderlyandpassionatelydeplored？Thosewholovethesurvivorstheleast，I
　　believe。Thedeathofachildoccasionsapassionofgriefandfrantictears，suchasyourend，brotherreader，willneverinspire。Thedeathofaninfantwhichscarceknewyou，whichaweek’sabsencefromyouwouldhavecausedtoforgetyou，willstrikeyoudownmorethanthelossofyourclosestfriend，oryourfirst-bornson——amangrownlikeyourself，withchildrenofhisown。WemaybeharshandsternwithJudahandSimeon——ourloveandpitygushoutforBenjamin，thelittleone。Andifyouareold，assomereaderofthismaybeorshallbeoldandrich，oroldandpoor——youmayonedaybethinkingforyourself——“Thesepeopleareverygoodroundaboutme，buttheywon’tgrievetoomuchwhenIamgone。Iamveryrich，andtheywantmyinheritance——orverypoor，andtheyaretiredofsupportingme。”
　　TheperiodofmourningforMrs。Sedley’sdeathwasonlyjustconcluded，andJosscarcelyhadhadtimetocastoffhisblackandappearinthesplendidwaistcoatswhichheloved，whenitbecameevidenttothoseaboutMr。Sedleythatanothereventwasathand，andthattheoldmanwasabouttogoseekforhiswifeinthedarklandwhithershehadprecededhim。”Thestateofmyfather’shealth。”JosSedleysolemnlyremarkedattheClub。”preventsmefromgivinganyLARGEpartiesthisseason：butifyouwillcomeinquietlyathalf-pastsix，Chutney，myboy，andfakeahomelydinnerwithoneortwooftheoldset——Ishallbealwaysgladtoseeyou。”SoJosandhisacquaintancesdinedanddranktheirclaretamongthemselvesinsilence，whilstthesandsoflifewererunningoutintheoldman’sglassupstairs。Thevelvet-footedbutlerbroughtthemtheirwine，andtheycomposedthemselvestoarubberafterdinner，atwhichMajorDobbinwouldsometimescomeandtakeahand；andMrs。
　　Osbornewouldoccasionallydescend，whenherpatientabovewassettledforthenight，andhadcommencedoneofthoselightlytroubledslumberswhichvisitthepillowofoldage。