WhenwereachedDresdenweyoungerchildrenwerelefttospendthesummerinthehouseofHerrMinckwitz,amemberofeithertheMunicipalortheSaxonGovernment——Ihaveforgottenwhich。ItwashopedthatinthiswaywewouldacquiresomeknowledgeoftheGermanlanguageandliterature。Theyweretheverykindestfamilyimaginable。
Ishallneverforgettheunweariedpatienceofthetwodaughters。Thefatherandmother,andashy,thin,studentcousinwhowaslivingintheflat,werenolesskind。WheneverIcouldgetoutintothecountryIcollectedspecimensindustriouslyandenlivenedthehouseholdwithhedge-hogsandothersmallbeastsandreptileswhichpersistedinescapingfrompartiallyclosedbureaudrawers。ThetwosonswerefascinatingstudentsfromtheUniversityofLeipsic,bothofthembelongingtoduelingcorps,andmuchscarredinconsequence。One,afamousswordsman,wascalled/DerRotheHerzog/theRedDuke,andtheotherwasnicknamed/HerrNasehorn/SirRhinocerosbecausethetipofhisnosehadbeencutoffinaduelandsewnonagain。I
learnedagooddealofGermanhere,inspiteofmyself,andaboveallIbecamefascinatedwiththeNibelungenlied。GermanproseneverbecamereallyeasytomeinthesensethatFrenchprosedid,butforGermanpoetryIcaredasmuchasforEnglishpoetry。Aboveall,IgainedanimpressionoftheGermanpeoplewhichInevergotover。FromthattimetothisitwouldhavebeenquiteimpossibletomakemefeelthattheGermanswerereallyforeigners。Theaffection,the/Gemuthlichkeit/aqualitywhichcannotbeexactlyexpressedbyanysingleEnglishword,thecapacityforhardwork,thesenseofduty,thedelightinstudyingliteratureandscience,theprideinthenewGermany,themorethankindandfriendlyinterestinthreestrangechildren——allthesemanifestationsoftheGermancharacterandofGermanfamilylifemadeasubconsciousimpressionuponmewhichIdidnotintheleastdefineatthetime,butwhichisveryvividstillfortyyearslater。
WhenIgotbacktoAmerica,attheageoffifteen,IbeganseriousstudytoenterHarvardunderMr。ArthurCutler,wholaterfoundedtheCutlerSchoolinNewYork。IcouldnotgotoschoolbecauseIknewsomuchlessthanmostboysofmyageinsomesubjectsandsomuchmoreinothers。InscienceandhistoryandgeographyandinunexpectedpartsofGermanandFrenchIwasstrong,butlamentablyweakinLatinandGreekandmathematics。MygrandfatherhadmadehissummerhomeinOysterBayanumberofyearsbefore,andmyfathernowmadeOysterBaythesummerhomeofhisfamilyalso。AlongwithmycollegepreparatorystudiesIcarriedontheworkofapracticalstudentofnaturalhistory。Iworkedwithgreaterindustrythaneitherintelligenceorsuccess,andmadeveryfewadditionstothesumofhumanknowledge;
buttothisdaycertainobscureornithologicalpublicationsmaybefoundinwhicharerecordedsuchitemsas,forinstance,thatononeoccasionafish-crow,andonanotheranIpswichsparrow,wereobtainedbyoneTheodoreRoosevelt,Jr。,atOysterBay,ontheshoreofLongIslandSound。
Inthefallof1876IenteredHarvard,graduatingin1880。I
thoroughlyenjoyedHarvard,andIamsureitdidmegood,butonlyinthegeneraleffect,fortherewasverylittleinmyactualstudieswhichhelpedmeinafterlife。Morethanoneofmyownsonshavealreadyprofitedbytheirfriendshipwithcertainoftheirmastersinschoolorcollege。Icertainlyprofitedbymyfriendshipwithoneofmytutors,Mr。Cutler;andinHarvardIowedmuchtotheprofessorofEnglish,Mr。A。S。Hill。Doubtlessthroughmyownfault,IsawalmostnothingofPresidentEliotandverylittleoftheprofessors。IoughttohavegainedmuchmorethanIdidgainfromwritingthethemesandforensics。Myfailuretodosomayhavebeenpartlyduetomytakingnointerestinthesubjects。BeforeIleftHarvardIwasalreadywritingoneortwochaptersofabookIafterwardspublishedontheNavalWarof1812。Thosechaptersweresodrythattheywouldhavemadeadictionaryseemlightreadingbycomparison。Still,theyrepresentedpurposeandseriousinterestonmypart,nottheperfunctoryefforttodowellenoughtogetacertainmark;andcorrectionsofthembyaskilledoldermanwouldhaveimpressedmeandhavecommandedmyrespectfulattention。ButIwasnotsufficientlydevelopedtomakemyselftakeanintelligentinterestinsomeofthesubjectsassignedme——thecharacteroftheGracchi,forinstance。A
verycleverandstudiousladwouldnodoubthavedoneso,butI
personallydidnotgrowuptothisparticularsubjectuntilagoodmanyyearslater。ThefrigateandsloopactionsbetweentheAmericanandBritishsea-tigersof1812weremuchmorewithinmygrasp。I
workeddrearilyattheGracchibecauseIhadto;myconscientiousandmuch-to-be-pitiedprofessordraggingmethroughthethemebymainstrength,withmyfeetfirmlyplantedindullandtotallyidea-proofresistance。
Ihadatthetimenoideaofgoingintopubliclife,andIneverstudiedelocutionorpracticeddebating。Thiswasalosstomeinoneway。Inanotherwayitwasnot。PersonallyIhavenottheslightestsympathywithdebatingcontestsinwhicheachsideisarbitrarilyassignedagivenpropositionandtoldtomaintainitwithouttheleastreferencetowhetherthosemaintainingitbelieveinitornot。Iknowthatunderoursystemthisisnecessaryforlawyers,butI
emphaticallydisbelieveinitasregardsgeneraldiscussionofpolitical,social,andindustrialmatters。Whatweneedistoturnoutofourcollegesyoungmenwithardentconvictionsonthesideoftheright;notyoungmenwhocanmakeagoodargumentforeitherrightorwrongastheirinterestbidsthem。Thepresentmethodofcarryingondebatesonsuchsubjectsas“OurColonialPolicy。”or“TheNeedofaNavy。”or“TheProperPositionoftheCourtsinConstitutionalQuestions。”encouragespreciselythewrongattitudeamongthosewhotakepartinthem。Thereisnoefforttoinstillsincerityandintensityofconviction。Onthecontrary,thenetresultistomakethecontestantsfeelthattheirconvictionshavenothingtodowiththeirarguments。IamsorryIdidnotstudyelocutionincollege;butIamexceedinglygladthatIdidnottakepartinthetypeofdebateinwhichstressislaid,notupongettingaspeakertothinkrightly,butongettinghimtotalkgliblyonthesidetowhichheisassigned,withoutregardeithertowhathisconvictionsareortowhattheyoughttobe。
Iwasareasonablygoodstudentincollege,standingjustwithinthefirsttenthofmyclass,ifIrememberrightly;althoughIamnotsurewhetherthismeansthetenthofthewholenumberthatenteredorofthosethatgraduated。IwasgivenaPhiBetaKappa“key。”Mychiefinterestswerescientific。WhenIenteredcollege,Iwasdevotedtoout-of-doorsnaturalhistory,andmyambitionwastobeascientificmanoftheAudubon,orWilson,orBaird,orCouestype——amanlikeHartMerriam,orFrankChapman,orHornaday,to-day。MyfatherhadfromtheearliestdaysinstilledintometheknowledgethatIwastoworkandtomakemyownwayintheworld,andIhadalwayssupposedthatthismeantthatImustenterbusiness。ButinmyfreshmanyearhediedwhenIwasasophomorehetoldmethatifIwishedtobecomeascientificmanIcoulddoso。HeexplainedthatImustbesurethatIreallyintenselydesiredtodoscientificwork,becauseifIwentintoitImustmakeitaseriouscareer;thathehadmadeenoughmoneytoenablemetotakeupsuchacareeranddonon-remunerativeworkofvalue/ifIintendedtodotheverybestworktherewasinme/;butthatImustnotdreamoftakingitupasadilettante。HealsogavemeapieceofadvicethatIhavealwaysremembered,namely,that,ifI
wasnotgoingtoearnmoney,Imusteventhingsupbynotspendingit。
Asheexpressedit,Ihadtokeepthefractionconstant,andifIwasnotabletoincreasethenumerator,thenImustreducethedenominator。Inotherwords,ifIwentintoascientificcareer,I
mustdefinitelyabandonallthoughtoftheenjoymentthatcouldaccompanyamoney-makingcareer,andmustfindmypleasureselsewhere。
AfterthisconversationIfullyintendedtomakesciencemylife-work。
Ididnot,forthesimplereasonthatatthattimeHarvard,andI
supposeourothercolleges,utterlyignoredthepossibilitiesofthefaunalnaturalist,theoutdoornaturalistandobserverofnature。Theytreatedbiologyaspurelyascienceofthelaboratoryandthemicroscope,asciencewhoseadherentsweretospendtheirtimeinthestudyofminuteformsofmarinelife,orelseinsection-cuttingandthestudyofthetissuesofthehigherorganismsunderthemicroscope。
Thisattitudewas,nodoubt,inpartduetothefactthatinmostcollegesthentherewasanotalwaysintelligentcopyingofwhatwasdoneinthegreatGermanuniversities。Thesoundrevoltagainstsuperficialityofstudyhadbeencarriedtoanextreme;thoroughnessinminutiaeastheonlyendofstudyhadbeenerectedintoafetish。
Therewasatotalfailuretounderstandthegreatvarietyofkindsofworkthatcouldbedonebynaturalists,includingwhatcouldbedonebyoutdoornaturalists——thekindofworkwhichHartMerriamandhisassistantsintheBiologicalSurveyhavecarriedtosuchahighdegreeofperfectionasregardsNorthAmericanmammals。Intheentirelyproperdesiretobethoroughandtoavoidslipshodmethods,thetendencywastotreatasnotserious,asunscientific,anykindofworkthatwasnotcarriedonwithlaboriousminutenessinthelaboratory。Mytastewasspecializedinatotallydifferentdirection,andIhadnomoredesireorabilitytobeamicroscopistandsection-
cutterthantobeamathematician。AccordinglyIabandonedallthoughtofbecomingascientist。DoubtlessthismeantthatIreallydidnothavetheintensedevotiontosciencewhichIthoughtIhad;for,ifI
hadpossessedsuchdevotion,Iwouldhavecarvedoutacareerformyselfsomehowwithoutregardtodiscouragements。
Asregardspoliticaleconomy,Iwasofcoursewhileincollegetaughtthe/laissez-faire/doctrines——oneofthembeingfreetrade——thenacceptedascanonical。MostAmericanboysofmyageweretaughtbothbytheirsurroundingsandbytheirstudiescertainprincipleswhichwereveryvaluablefromthestandpointofNationalinterest,andcertainotherswhichwereverymuchthereverse。Thepoliticaleconomistswerenotespeciallytoblameforthis;itwasthegeneralattitudeofthewriterswhowroteforusofthatgeneration。Takemybeloved/OurYoungFolks/,themagazineofwhichIhavealreadyspoken,andwhichtaughtmemuchmorethananyofmytext-books。
Everythinginthismagazineinstilledtheindividualvirtues,andthenecessityofcharacterasthechieffactorinanyman’ssuccess——ateachinginwhichInowbelieveassincerelyasever,forallthelawsthatthewitofmancandevisewillnevermakeamanaworthycitizenunlesshehaswithinhimselftherightstuff,unlesshehasself-
reliance,energy,courage,thepowerofinsistingonhisownrightsandthesympathythatmakeshimregardfuloftherightsofothers。AllthisindividualmoralityIwastaughtbythebooksIreadathomeandthebooksIstudiedatHarvard。Buttherewasalmostnoteachingoftheneedforcollectiveaction,andofthefactthatinadditionto,notasasubstitutefor,individualresponsibility,thereisacollectiveresponsibility。BookssuchasHerbertCroly’s“PromiseofAmericanLife“andWalterE。Weyl’s“NewDemocracy“wouldgenerallyatthattimehavebeentreatedeitherasunintelligibleorelseaspureheresy。
TheteachingwhichIreceivedwasgenuinelydemocraticinoneway。Itwasnotsodemocraticinanother。Igrewintomanhoodthoroughlyimbuedwiththefeelingthatamanmustberespectedforwhathemadeofhimself。ButIhadalso,consciouslyorunconsciously,beentaughtthatsociallyandindustriallyprettymuchthewholedutyofthemanlayinthusmakingthebestofhimself;thatheshouldbehonestinhisdealingswithothersandcharitableintheold-fashionedwaytotheunfortunate;butthatitwasnopartofhisbusinesstojoinwithothersintryingtomakethingsbetterforthemanybycurbingtheabnormalandexcessivedevelopmentofindividualisminafew。NowIdonotmeanthatthistrainingwasbyanymeansallbad。Onthecontrary,theinsistenceuponindividualresponsibilitywas,andis,andalwayswillbe,aprimenecessity。TeachingofthekindIabsorbedfrombothmytext-booksandmysurroundingsisahealthyanti-scorbutictothesentimentalitywhichbycomplacentlyexcusingtheindividualforallhisshortcomingswouldfinallyhopelesslyweakenthespringofmoralpurpose。Italsokeepsalivethatvirilevigorforthelackofwhichintheaverageindividualnopossibleperfectionoflaworofcommunityactioncaneveratone。Butsuchteaching,ifnotcorrectedbyotherteaching,meansacquiescenceinariotoflawlessbusinessindividualismwhichwouldbequiteasdestructivetorealcivilizationasthelawlessmilitaryindividualismoftheDarkAges。IleftcollegeandenteredthebigworldowingmorethanIcanexpresstothetrainingIhadreceived,especiallyinmyownhome;butwithmuchelsealsotolearnifIweretobecomereallyfittedtodomypartintheworkthatlayaheadforthegenerationofAmericanstowhichI
belonged。