Lookingback,amanreallyhasamoreobjectivefeelingabouthimselfasachildthanhehasabouthisfatherormother。Hefeelsasifthatchildwerenotthepresenthe,individually,butanancestor;justasmuchanancestoraseitherofhisparents。Thesayingthatthechildisthefathertothemanmaybetakeninasensealmostthereverseofthatusuallygiventoit。Thechildisfathertothemaninthesensethathisindividualityisseparatefromtheindividualityofthegrown-upintowhichheturns。Thisisperhapsonereasonwhyamancanspeakofhischildhoodandearlyyouthwithasenseofdetachment。
Havingbeenasicklyboy,withnonaturalbodilyprowess,andhavinglivedmuchathome,Iwasatfirstquiteunabletoholdmyownwhenthrownintocontactwithotherboysofrougherantecedents。Iwasnervousandtimid。YetfromreadingofthepeopleIadmired——rangingfromthesoldiersofValleyForge,andMorgan’sriflemen,totheheroesofmyfavoritestories——andfromhearingofthefeatsperformedbymySouthernforefathersandkinsfolk,andfromknowingmyfather,I
feltagreatadmirationformenwhowerefearlessandwhocouldholdtheirownintheworld,andIhadagreatdesiretobelikethem。
UntilIwasnearlyfourteenIletthisdesiretakenomoredefiniteshapethanday-dreams。Thenanincidenthappenedthatdidmerealgood。Havinganattackofasthma,IwassentoffbymyselftoMooseheadLake。Onthestage-coachridethitherIencounteredacoupleofotherboyswhowereaboutmyownage,butverymuchmorecompetentandalsomuchmoremischievous。Ihavenodoubttheyweregood-heartedboys,buttheywereboys!TheyfoundthatIwasaforeordainedandpredestinedvictim,andindustriouslyproceededtomakelifemiserableforme。TheworstfeaturewasthatwhenIfinallytriedtofightthemIdiscoveredthateitheronesinglycouldnotonlyhandlemewitheasycontempt,buthandlemesoasnottohurtmemuchandyettopreventmydoinganydamagewhateverinreturn。
Theexperiencetaughtmewhatprobablynoamountofgoodadvicecouldhavetaughtme。ImadeupmymindthatImusttrytolearnsothatI
wouldnotagainbeputinsuchahelplessposition;andhavingbecomequicklyandbitterlyconsciousthatIdidnothavethenaturalprowesstoholdmyown,IdecidedthatIwouldtrytosupplyitsplacebytraining。Accordingly,withmyfather’sheartyapproval,Istartedtolearntobox。Iwasapainfullyslowandawkwardpupil,andcertainlyworkedtwoorthreeyearsbeforeImadeanyperceptibleimprovementwhatever。Myfirstboxing-masterwasJohnLong,anex-prize-fighter。I
canseehisroomsnow,withcoloredpicturesofthefightsbetweenTomHyerandYankeeSullivan,andHeenanandSayers,andothergreateventsintheannalsofthesquaredcircle。Ononeoccasion,toexciteinterestamonghispatrons,heheldaseriesof“championship“matchesforthedifferentweights,theprizesbeing,atleastinmyownclass,pewtermugsofavalue,Ishouldsuppose,approximatingfiftycents。
NeitherhenorIhadanyideathatIcoulddoanything,butIwasenteredinthelightweightcontest,inwhichithappenedthatIwaspittedinsuccessionagainstacoupleofreedystriplingswhowereevenworsethanIwas。Equallytotheirsurpriseandtomyown,andtoJohnLong’s,Iwon,andthepewtermugbecameoneofmymostprizedpossessions。Ikeptit,andalludedtoit,andIfearbraggedaboutit,foranumberofyears,andIonlywishIknewwhereitwasnow。
YearslaterIreadanaccountofalittlemanwhoonceinafifth-ratehandicapracewonaworthlesspewtermedalandjoyediniteverafter。
Well,assoonasIreadthatstoryIfeltthatthatlittlemanandI
werebrothers。
Thiswas,asfarasIremember,theonlyoneofmyexceedinglyrareathletictriumphswhichwouldbeworthrelating。IdidagooddealofboxingandwrestlinginHarvard,butneverattainedtothefirstrankineither,evenatmyownweight。Once,inthebigcontestsintheGym,Igoteitherintothefinalsorsemi-finals,Iforgetwhich;butasidefromthisthechiefpartIplayedwastoactastrialhorseforsomefriendorclassmatewhodidhaveachanceofdistinguishinghimselfinthechampionshipcontests。
Iwasfondofhorseback-riding,butItooktoitslowlyandwithdifficulty,exactlyaswithboxing。ItwasalongtimebeforeIbecameevenarespectablerider,andInevergotmuchhigher。ImeanbythisthatIneverbecameafirst-flightmaninthehuntingfield,andneverevenapproachedthebronco-bustingclassintheWest。Anyman,ifhechooses,cangraduallyschoolhimselftotherequisitenerve,andgraduallylearntherequisiteseatandhands,thatwillenablehimtodorespectablyacrosscountry,ortoperformtheaverageworkonaranch。OfmyranchexperiencesIshallspeaklater。AtintervalsafterleavingcollegeIhuntedonLongIslandwiththeMeadowbrookhounds。
AlmosttheonlyexperienceIeverhadinthisconnectionthatwasofanyinterestwasononeoccasionwhenIbrokemyarm。Mypursedidnotpermitmetoownexpensivehorses。OnthisoccasionIwasridingananimal,abuggyhorseoriginally,whichitsownersoldbecausenowandthenitinsistedonthoughtfullylyingdownwheninharness。Itneverdidthisunderthesaddle;andwhenheturneditouttograssitwouldsolemnlyhopoverthefenceandgetsomewherewhereitdidnotbelong。
Thelasttraitwaswhatconverteditintoahunter。Itwasanaturaljumper,althoughwithoutanyspeed。OnthehuntinquestionIgotalongverywelluntilthepacewindedmyex-buggyhorse,anditturnedasomersaultoverafence。WhenIgotonitafterthefallIfoundI
couldnotusemyleftarm。Isupposeditwasmerelyastrain。ThebuggyhorsewasasedateanimalwhichIrodewithasnaffle。Sowepoundedalongatthetailofthehunt,andIdidnotappreciatethatmyarmwasbrokenforthreeorfourfences。Thenwecametoabigdrop,andthejarmadethebonesslippastoneanothersoastothrowthehandoutofposition。Itdidnothurtmeatall,andasthehorsewasaseasytositasarocking-chair,Igotinatthedeath。
IthinkAugustBelmontwasmasterofthehuntwhentheaboveincidentoccurred。IknowhewasmasteronanotheroccasiononwhichImetwithamildadventure。OnoneofthehuntswhenIwasoutamanwasthrown,draggedbyonestirrup,andkilled。InconsequenceIboughtapairofsafetystirrups,whichIusedthenexttimeIwentout。WithinfiveminutesaftertherunbeganIfoundthatthestirrupsweresovery“safe“thattheywouldnotstayinatall。Firstonewentoffatonejump,andthentheotheratanotherjump——withafallformeoneachoccasion。Ihatedtogiveupthefunsoearly,andaccordinglyfinishedtherunwithoutanystirrups。Myhorseneverwentasfastasonthatrun。Doubtlessafirst-classhorsemancanrideaswellwithoutstirrupsaswiththem。ButIwasnotafirst-classhorseman。Whenanythingunexpectedhappened,Iwasapttoclaspthesolemnbuggyhorsefirmlywithmyspurredheels,andtheresultwasthathelaidhimselfouttodohisbestinthewayofgalloping。Hespeedilyfoundthat,thankstothesnafflebit,Icouldnotpullhimin,sowhenwecametoadowngradehewouldusuallyputonsteam。Theniftherewasafenceatthebottomandhecheckedatall,Iwasapttoshootforward,andinsucheventwewentoverthefenceinawaythatremindedmeofLeech’spicture,in/Punch/,ofMr。TomNoddyandhismarejumpingafenceinthefollowingorder:Mr。TomNoddy,I;hismare,II。However,Igotinatthedeaththistimealso。
Iwasfondofwalkingandclimbing。AsaladIusedtogotothenorthwoods,inMaine,bothinfallandwinter。ThereImadelifefriendsoftwomen,WillDowandBillSewall:Icanoedwiththem,andtrampedthroughthewoodswiththem,visitingthewinterloggingcampsonsnow-shoes。AfterwardtheywerewithmeintheWest。WillDowisdead。
BillSewallwascollectorofcustomsunderme,ontheAroostookborder。ExceptwhenhuntingIneverdidanymountaineeringsaveforacoupleofconventionaltripsuptheMatterhornandtheJungfrauononeoccasionwhenIwasinSwitzerland。
Ineverdidmuchwiththeshotgun,butIpracticedagooddealwiththerifle。Ihadarifle-rangeatSagamoreHill,whereIoftentookfriendstoshoot。OnceortwicewhenIwasvisitedbypartiesofreleasedBoerprisoners,afterthecloseoftheSouthAfricanWar,theyandIheldshootingmatchestogether。ThebestmanwithbothpistolandriflewhoevershottherewasStewartEdwardWhite。Amongthemanyothergoodmenwasastanchfriend,BaronSpeckvonSternberg,afterwardsGermanAmbassadoratWashingtonduringmyPresidency。Hewasacapitalshot,rider,andwalker,adevotedandmostefficientservantofGermany,whohadfoughtwithdistinctionintheFranco-GermanWarwhenbarelymorethanaboy;hewastheheroofthestoryof“thepigdog“inArchibaldForbes’svolumeofreminiscences。Itwashewhofirsttalkedoverwithmetheraisingofaregimentofhorseriflemenfromamongtheranchmenandcowboysoftheplains。WhenAmbassador,thepoor,gallant,tender-heartedfellowwasdyingofaslowandpainfuldisease,sothathecouldnotplaywiththerestofus,buttheagonyofhismortalillnessneverintheslightestdegreeinterferedwithhiswork。AmongtheothermenwhoshotandrodeandwalkedwithmewasCecilSpring-Rice,whohasjustbeenappointedBritishAmbassadortotheUnitedStates。Hewasmygroomsman,mybestman,whenIwasmarried——atSt。George’s,HanoverSquare,whichmademefeelasifIwerelivinginoneofThackeray’snovels。
Myownexperienceasregardsmarksmanshipwasmuchthesameasmyexperienceasregardshorsemanship。Therearemenwhoseeyeandhandaresoquickandsosurethattheyachieveaperfectionofmarksmanshiptowhichnopracticewillenableordinarymentoattain。
Thereareothermenwhocannotlearntoshootwithanyaccuracyatall。Inbetweencomethemassofmenofordinaryabilitieswho,iftheychooseresolutelytopractice,canbysheerindustryandjudgmentmakethemselvesfairrifleshots。Themenwhoshowthisrequisiteindustryandjudgmentcanwithoutspecialdifficultyraisethemselvestothesecondclassofrespectablerifleshots;anditistothisclassthatIbelong。Buttohavereachedthispointofmarksmanshipwiththerifleatatargetbynomeansimpliesabilitytohitgameinthefield,especiallydangerousgame。Allkindsofotherqualities,moralandphysical,enterintobeingagoodhunter,andespeciallyagoodhunterafterdangerousgame,justasallkindsofotherqualitiesinadditiontoskillwiththerifleenterintobeingagoodsoldier。
Withdangerousgame,afterafairdegreeofefficiencywiththeriflehasbeenattained,theprimerequisitesarecooljudgmentandthatkindofnervewhichconsistsinavoidingbeingrattled。Anybeginnerisapttohave“buckfever。”andthereforenobeginnershouldgoatdangerousgame。
Buckfevermeansastateofintensenervousexcitementwhichmaybeentirelydivorcedfromtimidity。Itmayaffectamanthefirsttimehehastospeaktoalargeaudiencejustasitaffectshimthefirsttimeheseesabuckorgoesintobattle。Whatsuchamanneedsisnotcouragebutnervecontrol,cool-headedness。Thishecangetonlybyactualpractice。Hemust,bycustomandrepeatedexerciseofself-
mastery,gethisnervesthoroughlyundercontrol。Thisislargelyamatterofhabit,inthesenseofrepeatedeffortandrepeatedexerciseofwillpower。Ifthemanhastherightstuffinhim,hiswillgrowsstrongerandstrongerwitheachexerciseofit——andifhehasnottherightstuffinhimhehadbetterkeepclearofdangerousgamehunting,orindeedofanyotherformofsportorworkinwhichthereisbodilyperil。
Afterhehasachievedtheabilitytoexercisewarinessandjudgmentandthecontroloverhisnerves/whichwillmakehimshootaswellatthegameasatatarget/,hecanbeginhisessaysatdangerousgamehunting,andhewillthenfindthatitdoesnotdemandsuchabnormalprowessastheoutsiderisapttoimagine。Amanwhocanhitasoda-
waterbottleatthedistanceofafewyardscanbrainalionorabearoranelephantatthatdistance,andifhecannotbrainitwhenitchargeshecanatleastbringittoastandstill。Allhehastodoistoshootasaccuratelyashewouldatasoda-waterbottle;andtodothisrequiresnerve,atleastasmuchasitdoesphysicaladdress。
Havingreachedthispoint,thehuntermustnotimaginethatheiswarrantedintakingdesperatechances。Therearedegreesinproficiency;andwhatisawarrantableandlegitimateriskforamantotakewhenhehasreachedacertaingradeofefficiencymaybeafoolishriskforhimtotakebeforehehasreachedthatgrade。Amanwhohasreachedthedegreeofproficiencyindicatedaboveisquitewarrantedinwalkinginatalionatbay,inanopenplain,to,say,withinahundredyards。Ifthelionhasnotcharged,themanoughtatthatdistancetoknockhimoverandpreventhischarging;andifthelionisalreadycharging,themanoughtatthatdistancetobeabletostophim。Buttheamountofprowesswhichwarrantsamaninrelyingonhisabilitytoperformthisfeatdoesnotbyanymeansjustifyhiminthinkingthat,forinstance,hecancrawlafterawoundedlionintothickcover。Ihaveknownmenofindifferentprowesstoperformthislatterfeatsuccessfully,butatleastasoftentheyhavebeenunsuccessful,andinthesecasestheresulthasbeenunpleasant。Themanwhohabituallyfollowswoundedlionsintothickcovermustbeahunterofthehighestskill,orhecancountwithcertaintyonanultimatemauling。