首页 >出版文学> The Works of Rudyard Kipling One>第102章
  ’It’sthesignaloftheCrossKeysLinerunningtoAustraliaI
  wonderwhichsteameritis。’Thenoteofhisvoicehadchanged;heseemedtobetalkingtohimself,andMaisiedidnotapproveofitThemoonlightbrokethehazeforamoment,touchingtheblacksidesofalongsteamerworkingdownChannel’Fourmastsandthreefunnels——she’sindeepdraught,tooThatmustbetheBarralong,ortheBhutiaNo,theBhutiahasaclopperbowIt’stheBarralong,toAustraliaShe’lllifttheSouthernCrossinaweek,——luckyoldtub!——oh,luckyoldtub!’
  Hestaredintently,andmoveduptheslopeoftheforttogetabetterview,butthemistontheseathickenedagain,andthebeatingofthescrewsgrewfainterMaisiecalledtohimalittleangrily,andhereturned,stillkeepinghiseyestoseaward’HaveyoueverseentheSouthernCrossblazingrightoveryourhead?’heasked’It’ssuperb!’
  ’No,’shesaidshortly,’andIdon’twanttoIfyouthinkit’ssolovely,whydon’tyougoandseeityourself?’
  Sheraisedherfacefromthesoftblacknessofthemartenskinsaboutherthroat,andhereyesshonelikediamondsThemoonlightonthegraykangaroofurturnedittofrostedsilverofthecoldest。
  ’ByJove,Maisie,youlooklikealittleheathenidoltuckedupthere。’Theeyesshowedthattheydidnotappreciatethecompliment’I’msorry,’hecontinued’TheSouthernCrossisn’tworthlookingatunlesssomeonehelpsyoutoseeThatsteamer’soutofhearing。’
  ’Dick,’shesaidquietly,’supposeIweretocometoyounow,——bequietaminute,——justasIam,andcaringforyoujustasmuchasIdo。’
  ’Notasabrother,thoughYousaidyoudidn’t——inthePark。’
  ’IneverhadabrotherSupposeIsaid,“Takemetothoseplaces,andintime,perhaps,Imightreallycareforyou。”whatwouldyoudo?’
  ’Sendyoustraightbacktowhereyoucamefrom,inacabNo,I
  wouldn’t;I’dletyouwalkButyoucouldn’tdoit,dearAndI
  wouldn’truntheriskYou’reworthwaitingfortillyoucancomewithoutreservation。’
  ’Doyouhonestlybelievethat?’
  ’IhaveahazysortofideathatIdoHasitneverstruckyouinthatlight?’
  ’Ye——esIfeelsowickedaboutit。’
  ’Wickederthanusual?’
  ’Youdon’tknowallIthinkIt’salmosttooawfultotell。’
  ’NevermindYoupromisedtotellmethetruth——atleast。’
  ’It’ssoungratefulofme,but——but,thoughIknowyoucareforme,andI
  liketohaveyouwithme,I’d——I’devensacrificeyou,ifthatwouldbringmewhatIwant。’
  ’Mypoorlittledarling!IknowthatstateofmindItdoesn’tleadtogoodwork。’
  ’Youaren’tangry?Remember,Idodespisemyself。’
  ’I’mnotexactlyflattered,——Ihadguessedasmuchbefore,——butI’mnotangryI’msorryforyouSurelyyououghttohaveleftalittlenesslikethatbehindyou,yearsago。’
  ’You’venorighttopatroniseme!IonlywantwhatIhaveworkedforsolongItcametoyouwithoutanytrouble,and——andIdon’tthinkit’sfair。’
  ’WhatcanIdo?I’dgivetenyearsofmylifetogetyouwhatyouwant。
  ButIcan’thelpyou;evenIcan’thelp。’
  AmurmurofdissentfromMaisieHewenton——
  ’AndIknowbywhatyouhavejustsaidthatyou’reonthewrongroadtosuccessItisn’tgotatbysacrificingotherpeople,——I’vehadthatmuchknockedintome;youmustsacrificeyourself,andliveunderorders,andneverthinkforyourself,andneverhaverealsatisfactioninyourworkexceptjustatthebeginning,whenyou’rereachingoutafteranotion。’
  ’Howcanyoubelieveallthat?’
  ’There’snoquestionofbeliefordisbeliefThat’sthelaw,andyoutakeitorrefuseitasyoupleaseItrytoobey,butIcan’t,andthenmyworkturnsbadonmyhandsUnderanycircumstances,remember,four-fifthsofeverybody’sworkmustbebadButtheremnantisworththetroubleforit’sownsake。’
  ’Isn’titnicetogetcreditevenforbadwork?’
  ’It’smuchtooniceBut——MayItellyousomething?Itisn’taprettytale,butyou’resolikeamanthatIforgetwhenI’mtalkingtoyou。’
  ’Tellme。’
  ’OncewhenIwasoutintheSoudanIwentoversomegroundthatwehadbeenfightingonforthreedaysThereweretwelvehundreddead;
  andwehadn’ttimetoburythem。’
  ’Howghastly!’
  ’Ihadbeenatworkonabigdouble-sheetsketch,andIwaswonderingwhatpeoplewouldthinkofitathomeThesightofthatfieldtaughtmeagooddealItlookedjustlikeabedofhorribletoadstoolsinallcolours,and——I’dneverseenmeninbulkgobacktotheirbeginningsbefore。
  SoI
  begantounderstandthatmenandwomenwereonlymaterialtoworkwith,andthatwhattheysaidordidwasofnoconsequenceSee?
  Strictlyspeaking,youmightjustaswellputyoureardowntothepalettetocatchwhatyourcoloursaresaying。’
  ’Dick,that’sdisgraceful!’
  ’WaitaminuteIsaid,strictlyspeakingUnfortunately,everybodymustbeeitheramanorawoman。’
  ’I’mgladyouallowthatmuch。’
  ’InyourcaseIdon’tYouaren’tawomanButordinarypeople,Maisie,mustbehaveandworkassuchThat’swhatmakesmesosavage。’
  Hehurledapebbletowardstheseaashespoke’Iknowthatitisoutsidemybusinesstocarewhatpeoplesay;IcanseethatitspoilsmyoutputifI
  listento’em;andyet,confounditall,’——anotherpebbleflewseaward,——’I
  can’thelppurringwhenI’mrubbedtherightwayEvenwhenIcanseeonaman’sforeheadthatheislyinghiswaythroughaclumpofprettyspeeches,thoseliesmakemehappyandplaythemischiefwithmyhand。’
  ’Andwhenhedoesn’tsayprettythings?’
  ’Then,belovedest,’——Dickgrinned,——’IforgetthatIamthestewardofthesegifts,andIwanttomakethatmanloveandappreciatemyworkwithathickstickIt’stoohumiliatingaltogether;butIsupposeevenifonewereanangelandpaintedhumansaltogetherfromoutside,onewouldloseintouchwhatonegainedingrip。’
  MaisielaughedattheideaofDickasanangel。
  ’Butyouseemtothink,’shesaid,’thateverythingnicespoilsyourhand。’
  ’Idon’tthinkIt’sthelaw,——justthesameasitwasatMrsJennett’s。
  EverythingthatisnicedoesspoilyourhandI’mgladyouseesoclearly。’
  ’Idon’tliketheview。’
  ’NorIBut——havegotorders:whatcando?Areyoustrongenoughtofaceitalone?’
  ’IsupposeImust。’
  ’Letmehelp,darlingWecanholdeachotherverytightandtrytowalkstraightWeshallblunderhorribly,butitwillbebetterthanstumblingapartMaisie,can’tyouseereason?’
  ’Idon’tthinkweshouldgetontogetherWeshouldbetwoofatrade,soweshouldneveragree。’
  ’HowIshouldliketomeetthemanwhomadethatproverb!Helivedinacaveandaterawbear,IfancyI’dmakehimchewhisownarrow-heads。
  Well?’
  ’IshouldbeonlyhalfmarriedtoyouIshouldworryandfussaboutmywork,asIdonowFourdaysoutofthesevenI’mnotfittospeakto。’
  ’Youtalkasifnooneelseintheworldhadeverusedabrush。
  D’yousupposethatIdon’tknowthefeelingofworryandbotherandcan’t-get-at-ness?You’reluckyifyouonlyhaveitfourdaysoutofthesevenWhatdifferencewouldthatmake?’
  ’Agreatdeal——ifyouhadittoo。’
  ’Yes,butIcouldrespectitAnothermanmightnotHemightlaughatyouButthere’snousetalkingaboutitIfyoucanthinkinthatwayyoucan’tcareforme——yet。’
  Thetidehadnearlycoveredthemud-banksandtwentylittleripplesbrokeonthebeachbeforeMaisiechosetospeak。
  ’Dick,’shesaidslowly,’IbelieveverymuchthatyouarebetterthanI
  am。’
  ’Thisdoesn’tseemtobearontheargument——butinwhatway?’
  ’Idon’tquiteknow,butinwhatyousaidaboutworkandthings;
  andthenyou’resopatientYes,you’rebetterthanIam。’
  Dickconsideredrapidlythemurkinessofanaverageman’slife。
  TherewasnothinginthereviewtofillhimwithasenseofvirtueHeliftedthehemofthecloaktohislips。
  ’Why,’saidMaisie,makingasthoughshehadnotnoticed,’canyouseethingsthatIcan’t?Idon’tbelievewhatyoubelieve;butyou’reright,I
  believe。’
  ’IfI’veseenanything,GodknowsIcouldn’thaveseenitbutforyou,andIknowthatIcouldn’thavesaiditexcepttoyouYouseemedtomakeeverythingclearforaminute;butIdon’tpracticewhatIpreach。
  YouwouldhelpmeThereareonlyustwointheworldforallpurposes,and——andyouliketohavemewithyou?’
  ’OfcourseIdoIwonderifyoucanrealisehowutterlylonelyI
  am!’
  ’Darling,IthinkIcan。’
  ’Twoyearsago,whenIfirsttookthelittlehouse,Iusedtowalkupanddowntheback-gardentryingtocryInevercancryCanyou?’
  ’It’ssometimesinceItriedWhatwasthetrouble?Overwork?’
  ’Idon’tknow;butIusedtodreamthatIhadbrokendown,andhadnomoney,andwasstarvinginLondonIthoughtaboutitallday,anditfrightenedme——oh,howitfrightenedme!’
  ’IknowthatfearIt’sthemostterribleofallItwakesmeupinthenightsometimesYououghtn’ttoknowanythingaboutit。’
  ’Howdoyouknow?’
  ’NevermindIsyourthreehundredayearsafe?’
  ’It’sinConsols。’
  ’VerywellIfanyonecomestoyouandrecommendsabetterinvestment,——evenifIshouldcometoyou,——don’tyoulistenNevershiftthemoneyforaminute,andneverlendapennyofit,——eventothered-hairedgirl。’
  ’Don’tscoldmeso!I’mnotlikelytobefoolish。’
  ’Theearthisfullofmenwho’dselltheirsoulsforthreehundredayear;
  andwomencomeandtalk,andborrowafive-poundnotehereandaten-poundnotethere;andawomanhasnoconscienceinamoneydebt。
  Sticktoyourmoney,Maisie,forthere’snothingmoreghastlyintheworldthanpovertyinLondonIt’sscaredmeByJove,itputthefearintome!Andoneoughtn’ttobeafraidofanything。’
  Toeachmanisappointedhisparticulardread,——theterrorthat,ifhedoesnotfightagainstit,mustcowhimeventothelossofhismanhood。
  Dick’sexperienceofthesordidmiseryofwanthadenteredintothedeepsofhim,and,lesthemightfindvirtuetooeasy,thatmemorystoodbehindhim,temptingtoshame,whendealerscametobuyhiswaresAstheNilghaiquakedagainsthiswillatthestillgreenwaterofalakeoramill-dam,asTorpenhowflinchedbeforeanywhitearmthatcouldcutorstabandloathedhimselfforflinching,DickfearedthepovertyhehadoncetastedhalfinjestHisburdenwasheavierthantheburdensofhiscompanions。
  Maisiewatchedthefaceworkinginthemoonlight。
  ’You’veplentyofpenniesnow,’shesaidsoothingly。
  ’Ishallneverhaveenough,’hebegan,withviciousemphasisThen,laughing,’Ishallalwaysbethree-penceshortinmyaccounts。’
  ’Whythreepence?’
  ’Icarriedaman’sbagoncefromLiverpoolStreetStationtoBlackfriar’sBridgeItwasasixpennyjob,——youneedn’tlaugh;indeeditwas,——andI
  wantedthemoneydesperatelyHeonlygavemethreepence;andhehadn’teventhedecencytopayinsilverWhatevermoneyImake,I
  shallnevergetthatoddthreepenceoutoftheworld。’
  ThiswasnotlanguagebefittingthemanwhohadpreachedofthesanctityofworkItjarredonMaisie,whopreferredherpaymentinapplause,which,sinceallmendesireit,mustbeofherightShehuntedforherlittlepurseandgravelytookoutathreepennybit。
  ’Thereitis,’shesaid’I’llpayyou,Dickie;anddon’tworryanymore;itisn’tworthwhileAreyoupaid?’
  ’Iam,’saidtheveryhumanapostleoffaircraft,takingthecoin’I’mpaidathousandtimes,andwe’llclosethataccountItshallliveonmywatch-chain;andyou’reanangel,Maisie。’