’It’sthesignaloftheCrossKeysLinerunningtoAustraliaI
wonderwhichsteameritis。’Thenoteofhisvoicehadchanged;heseemedtobetalkingtohimself,andMaisiedidnotapproveofitThemoonlightbrokethehazeforamoment,touchingtheblacksidesofalongsteamerworkingdownChannel’Fourmastsandthreefunnels——she’sindeepdraught,tooThatmustbetheBarralong,ortheBhutiaNo,theBhutiahasaclopperbowIt’stheBarralong,toAustraliaShe’lllifttheSouthernCrossinaweek,——luckyoldtub!——oh,luckyoldtub!’
Hestaredintently,andmoveduptheslopeoftheforttogetabetterview,butthemistontheseathickenedagain,andthebeatingofthescrewsgrewfainterMaisiecalledtohimalittleangrily,andhereturned,stillkeepinghiseyestoseaward’HaveyoueverseentheSouthernCrossblazingrightoveryourhead?’heasked’It’ssuperb!’
’No,’shesaidshortly,’andIdon’twanttoIfyouthinkit’ssolovely,whydon’tyougoandseeityourself?’
Sheraisedherfacefromthesoftblacknessofthemartenskinsaboutherthroat,andhereyesshonelikediamondsThemoonlightonthegraykangaroofurturnedittofrostedsilverofthecoldest。
’ByJove,Maisie,youlooklikealittleheathenidoltuckedupthere。’Theeyesshowedthattheydidnotappreciatethecompliment’I’msorry,’hecontinued’TheSouthernCrossisn’tworthlookingatunlesssomeonehelpsyoutoseeThatsteamer’soutofhearing。’
’Dick,’shesaidquietly,’supposeIweretocometoyounow,——bequietaminute,——justasIam,andcaringforyoujustasmuchasIdo。’
’Notasabrother,thoughYousaidyoudidn’t——inthePark。’
’IneverhadabrotherSupposeIsaid,“Takemetothoseplaces,andintime,perhaps,Imightreallycareforyou。”whatwouldyoudo?’
’Sendyoustraightbacktowhereyoucamefrom,inacabNo,I
wouldn’t;I’dletyouwalkButyoucouldn’tdoit,dearAndI
wouldn’truntheriskYou’reworthwaitingfortillyoucancomewithoutreservation。’
’Doyouhonestlybelievethat?’
’IhaveahazysortofideathatIdoHasitneverstruckyouinthatlight?’
’Ye——esIfeelsowickedaboutit。’
’Wickederthanusual?’
’Youdon’tknowallIthinkIt’salmosttooawfultotell。’
’NevermindYoupromisedtotellmethetruth——atleast。’
’It’ssoungratefulofme,but——but,thoughIknowyoucareforme,andI
liketohaveyouwithme,I’d——I’devensacrificeyou,ifthatwouldbringmewhatIwant。’
’Mypoorlittledarling!IknowthatstateofmindItdoesn’tleadtogoodwork。’
’Youaren’tangry?Remember,Idodespisemyself。’
’I’mnotexactlyflattered,——Ihadguessedasmuchbefore,——butI’mnotangryI’msorryforyouSurelyyououghttohaveleftalittlenesslikethatbehindyou,yearsago。’
’You’venorighttopatroniseme!IonlywantwhatIhaveworkedforsolongItcametoyouwithoutanytrouble,and——andIdon’tthinkit’sfair。’
’WhatcanIdo?I’dgivetenyearsofmylifetogetyouwhatyouwant。
ButIcan’thelpyou;evenIcan’thelp。’
AmurmurofdissentfromMaisieHewenton——
’AndIknowbywhatyouhavejustsaidthatyou’reonthewrongroadtosuccessItisn’tgotatbysacrificingotherpeople,——I’vehadthatmuchknockedintome;youmustsacrificeyourself,andliveunderorders,andneverthinkforyourself,andneverhaverealsatisfactioninyourworkexceptjustatthebeginning,whenyou’rereachingoutafteranotion。’
’Howcanyoubelieveallthat?’
’There’snoquestionofbeliefordisbeliefThat’sthelaw,andyoutakeitorrefuseitasyoupleaseItrytoobey,butIcan’t,andthenmyworkturnsbadonmyhandsUnderanycircumstances,remember,four-fifthsofeverybody’sworkmustbebadButtheremnantisworththetroubleforit’sownsake。’
’Isn’titnicetogetcreditevenforbadwork?’
’It’smuchtooniceBut——MayItellyousomething?Itisn’taprettytale,butyou’resolikeamanthatIforgetwhenI’mtalkingtoyou。’
’Tellme。’
’OncewhenIwasoutintheSoudanIwentoversomegroundthatwehadbeenfightingonforthreedaysThereweretwelvehundreddead;
andwehadn’ttimetoburythem。’
’Howghastly!’
’Ihadbeenatworkonabigdouble-sheetsketch,andIwaswonderingwhatpeoplewouldthinkofitathomeThesightofthatfieldtaughtmeagooddealItlookedjustlikeabedofhorribletoadstoolsinallcolours,and——I’dneverseenmeninbulkgobacktotheirbeginningsbefore。
SoI
begantounderstandthatmenandwomenwereonlymaterialtoworkwith,andthatwhattheysaidordidwasofnoconsequenceSee?
Strictlyspeaking,youmightjustaswellputyoureardowntothepalettetocatchwhatyourcoloursaresaying。’
’Dick,that’sdisgraceful!’
’WaitaminuteIsaid,strictlyspeakingUnfortunately,everybodymustbeeitheramanorawoman。’
’I’mgladyouallowthatmuch。’
’InyourcaseIdon’tYouaren’tawomanButordinarypeople,Maisie,mustbehaveandworkassuchThat’swhatmakesmesosavage。’
Hehurledapebbletowardstheseaashespoke’Iknowthatitisoutsidemybusinesstocarewhatpeoplesay;IcanseethatitspoilsmyoutputifI
listento’em;andyet,confounditall,’——anotherpebbleflewseaward,——’I
can’thelppurringwhenI’mrubbedtherightwayEvenwhenIcanseeonaman’sforeheadthatheislyinghiswaythroughaclumpofprettyspeeches,thoseliesmakemehappyandplaythemischiefwithmyhand。’
’Andwhenhedoesn’tsayprettythings?’
’Then,belovedest,’——Dickgrinned,——’IforgetthatIamthestewardofthesegifts,andIwanttomakethatmanloveandappreciatemyworkwithathickstickIt’stoohumiliatingaltogether;butIsupposeevenifonewereanangelandpaintedhumansaltogetherfromoutside,onewouldloseintouchwhatonegainedingrip。’
MaisielaughedattheideaofDickasanangel。
’Butyouseemtothink,’shesaid,’thateverythingnicespoilsyourhand。’
’Idon’tthinkIt’sthelaw,——justthesameasitwasatMrsJennett’s。
EverythingthatisnicedoesspoilyourhandI’mgladyouseesoclearly。’
’Idon’tliketheview。’
’NorIBut——havegotorders:whatcando?Areyoustrongenoughtofaceitalone?’
’IsupposeImust。’
’Letmehelp,darlingWecanholdeachotherverytightandtrytowalkstraightWeshallblunderhorribly,butitwillbebetterthanstumblingapartMaisie,can’tyouseereason?’
’Idon’tthinkweshouldgetontogetherWeshouldbetwoofatrade,soweshouldneveragree。’
’HowIshouldliketomeetthemanwhomadethatproverb!Helivedinacaveandaterawbear,IfancyI’dmakehimchewhisownarrow-heads。
Well?’
’IshouldbeonlyhalfmarriedtoyouIshouldworryandfussaboutmywork,asIdonowFourdaysoutofthesevenI’mnotfittospeakto。’
’Youtalkasifnooneelseintheworldhadeverusedabrush。
D’yousupposethatIdon’tknowthefeelingofworryandbotherandcan’t-get-at-ness?You’reluckyifyouonlyhaveitfourdaysoutofthesevenWhatdifferencewouldthatmake?’
’Agreatdeal——ifyouhadittoo。’
’Yes,butIcouldrespectitAnothermanmightnotHemightlaughatyouButthere’snousetalkingaboutitIfyoucanthinkinthatwayyoucan’tcareforme——yet。’
Thetidehadnearlycoveredthemud-banksandtwentylittleripplesbrokeonthebeachbeforeMaisiechosetospeak。
’Dick,’shesaidslowly,’IbelieveverymuchthatyouarebetterthanI
am。’
’Thisdoesn’tseemtobearontheargument——butinwhatway?’
’Idon’tquiteknow,butinwhatyousaidaboutworkandthings;
andthenyou’resopatientYes,you’rebetterthanIam。’
Dickconsideredrapidlythemurkinessofanaverageman’slife。
TherewasnothinginthereviewtofillhimwithasenseofvirtueHeliftedthehemofthecloaktohislips。
’Why,’saidMaisie,makingasthoughshehadnotnoticed,’canyouseethingsthatIcan’t?Idon’tbelievewhatyoubelieve;butyou’reright,I
believe。’
’IfI’veseenanything,GodknowsIcouldn’thaveseenitbutforyou,andIknowthatIcouldn’thavesaiditexcepttoyouYouseemedtomakeeverythingclearforaminute;butIdon’tpracticewhatIpreach。
YouwouldhelpmeThereareonlyustwointheworldforallpurposes,and——andyouliketohavemewithyou?’
’OfcourseIdoIwonderifyoucanrealisehowutterlylonelyI
am!’
’Darling,IthinkIcan。’
’Twoyearsago,whenIfirsttookthelittlehouse,Iusedtowalkupanddowntheback-gardentryingtocryInevercancryCanyou?’
’It’ssometimesinceItriedWhatwasthetrouble?Overwork?’
’Idon’tknow;butIusedtodreamthatIhadbrokendown,andhadnomoney,andwasstarvinginLondonIthoughtaboutitallday,anditfrightenedme——oh,howitfrightenedme!’
’IknowthatfearIt’sthemostterribleofallItwakesmeupinthenightsometimesYououghtn’ttoknowanythingaboutit。’
’Howdoyouknow?’
’NevermindIsyourthreehundredayearsafe?’
’It’sinConsols。’
’VerywellIfanyonecomestoyouandrecommendsabetterinvestment,——evenifIshouldcometoyou,——don’tyoulistenNevershiftthemoneyforaminute,andneverlendapennyofit,——eventothered-hairedgirl。’
’Don’tscoldmeso!I’mnotlikelytobefoolish。’
’Theearthisfullofmenwho’dselltheirsoulsforthreehundredayear;
andwomencomeandtalk,andborrowafive-poundnotehereandaten-poundnotethere;andawomanhasnoconscienceinamoneydebt。
Sticktoyourmoney,Maisie,forthere’snothingmoreghastlyintheworldthanpovertyinLondonIt’sscaredmeByJove,itputthefearintome!Andoneoughtn’ttobeafraidofanything。’
Toeachmanisappointedhisparticulardread,——theterrorthat,ifhedoesnotfightagainstit,mustcowhimeventothelossofhismanhood。
Dick’sexperienceofthesordidmiseryofwanthadenteredintothedeepsofhim,and,lesthemightfindvirtuetooeasy,thatmemorystoodbehindhim,temptingtoshame,whendealerscametobuyhiswaresAstheNilghaiquakedagainsthiswillatthestillgreenwaterofalakeoramill-dam,asTorpenhowflinchedbeforeanywhitearmthatcouldcutorstabandloathedhimselfforflinching,DickfearedthepovertyhehadoncetastedhalfinjestHisburdenwasheavierthantheburdensofhiscompanions。
Maisiewatchedthefaceworkinginthemoonlight。
’You’veplentyofpenniesnow,’shesaidsoothingly。
’Ishallneverhaveenough,’hebegan,withviciousemphasisThen,laughing,’Ishallalwaysbethree-penceshortinmyaccounts。’
’Whythreepence?’
’Icarriedaman’sbagoncefromLiverpoolStreetStationtoBlackfriar’sBridgeItwasasixpennyjob,——youneedn’tlaugh;indeeditwas,——andI
wantedthemoneydesperatelyHeonlygavemethreepence;andhehadn’teventhedecencytopayinsilverWhatevermoneyImake,I
shallnevergetthatoddthreepenceoutoftheworld。’
ThiswasnotlanguagebefittingthemanwhohadpreachedofthesanctityofworkItjarredonMaisie,whopreferredherpaymentinapplause,which,sinceallmendesireit,mustbeofherightShehuntedforherlittlepurseandgravelytookoutathreepennybit。
’Thereitis,’shesaid’I’llpayyou,Dickie;anddon’tworryanymore;itisn’tworthwhileAreyoupaid?’
’Iam,’saidtheveryhumanapostleoffaircraft,takingthecoin’I’mpaidathousandtimes,andwe’llclosethataccountItshallliveonmywatch-chain;andyou’reanangel,Maisie。’