Andyoumaygoineveryroomofthehouseandseeeverythingthatisthere，butintotheBlueRoomyoumustnotgo-TheStoryofBlueBeard。
　　SCENE-TheGADSBYS’bungalowinthePlainsTime，11AM。
　　onaSundaymorningCaptainGADSBY，inhisshirt-sleeves，isbendingoveracompletesetofHussar’sequipment，fromsaddletopicketing-rope，whichisneatlyspreadoverthefloorofhisstudy。
　　Heissmokinganuncleanbriar，andhisforeheadispuckeredwiththought。
　　CAPTGTohimself，fingeringaheadstall。Jack’sanass。
　　There’senoughbrassonthistoloadamule-and，iftheAmericansknowanythingaboutanything，itcanbecutdowntoabitonly’Don’twantthewatering-bridle，eitherHumbug！-Halfadozensetsofchainsandpulleysforonehorse！Rot！Scratchinghishead。
　　Now，let’sconsideritalloverfromthehe-ginningByJove，I’veforgottenthescaleofweights！Ne’ermind’Keepthebitonly，andeliminateeverybossfromthecruppertobreastplateNobreastplateatallSimpleleatherstrapacrossthebreast-liketheRussiansHi！Jackneverthoughtofthat！
　　MRSGEnteringhastily，herhandboundinacloth。Oh，Pip，I’vescaldedmyhandoverthathorrid，horridTipareejam！
　　CAPTGAbsently。Eb！Wha-at？
　　MRSGWithround-eyedreproach。I’vescaldeditaw-fully！
　　Aren’tyousorry？AndIdidsowantthatjamtojamproperly。
　　CAPTGPoorlittlewoman！LetmekisstheplaceandmakeitwellUnrollingbandage。Yousmallsinner！Where’sthatscald？
　　Ican’tseeit。
　　MRSGOnthetopofthelittlefingerThere！-It’samost’normousbigburn！
　　CAPTGKissinglittlefinger。Baby！LetHyderlookafterthejamYouknowIdon’tcareforsweets。
　　MasGIn-deed？-Pip！
　　CAPTGNotofthatkind，anyhowAndnowrunalong，Minnie，andleavemetomyownbasedevicesI’mbusy。
　　MRSGCalmlysettlingherselfinlongchair。SoIseeWhatamessyou’remaking！Whyhaveyoubroughtallthatsmellyleatherstuffintothehouse？
　　CAPTGToplaywithDoyoumind，dear？
　　MRSGLetmeplaytooI’dlikeit。
　　CAPTGI’mafraidyouwouldn’tPussy-Don’tyouthinkthatjamwillburn，orwhateveritisthatjamdoeswhenit’snotlookedafterbyacleverlittlehousekeeper？
　　MRSGIthoughtyousaidHydercouldattendtoitIlefthimintheveranda，stirring-whenIhurtmyselfso。
　　CAPTGHiseyereturningtotheequipment。Po-oorlittlewoman！-Threepoundsfourandsevenisthreeeleven，andthatcanbecutdowntotwoeight，withjustalee-tiecare，with-outweakeninganythingFarrieryisallrotinincompetenthands。
　　What’stheuseofashoe-casewhenaman’sscouting？Hecan’tstickitonwithalick-likeastamp-theshoe！SkittlesMRSGWhat’sskittles？Pah！Whatisthisleathercleanedwith？
　　CAPTGCreamandchampagneand-Lookhere，dear，doyoureallywanttotalktomeaboutanythingimportant？
　　MRSGNoI’vedonemyaccounts，andIthoughtI’dliketoseewhatyou’redoing。
　　CAPTGWell，love，nowyou’veseenand-Wouldyoumind？-
　　Thatistosay-Minnie，Ireallyambusy。
　　MRSGYouwantmetogo？
　　CAPTG，Yes，dear，foralittlewhileThistobaccowillhanginyourdress，andsaddlerydoesn’tinterestyou。
　　MRSGEverythingyoudointerestsme，Pip。
　　CAPTGYes，Iknow，Iknow，dearI’lltellyouallaboutitsomedaywhenI’veputaheadonthisthingInthemeantime-
　　MRSGI’mtobeturnedoutoftheroomlikeatroublesomechild？
　　CAPTGNo-oIdon’tmeanthatexactlyBut，yousee，Ishallbetrampingupanddown，shiftingthesethingstoandfro，andIshallbeinyourwayDon’tyouthinkso？
　　MRSGCan’tIliftthemabout？LetmetryReachesforwardtotrooper’ssaddle。
　　CAPTGGoodgracious，child，don’ttouchitYou’llhurtyourself。
　　Pickingupsaddle。Littlegirlsaren’texpectedtohandlenumdahsNow，wherewouldyoulikeitput？Holdssaddleabovehishead。
　　MRSGAbreakinhervoice。NowherePip，howgoodyouare-andhowstrong！Oh，what’sthatuglyredstreakinsideyourarm？
　　CAPTGLoweringsaddlequickly。NothingIt’samarkofsorts。
　　Aside。AndJack’scomingtotiffinwithhisnotionsallcutanddried！
　　MRSGIknowit’samark，butI’veneverseenitbeforeItrunsallupthearmWhatisit？
　　CAPTGAcut-ifyouwanttoknow。
　　MRSGWanttoknow！OfcourseIdo！Ican’thavemyhusbandcuttopiecesinthiswayHowdiditcome？Wasitanaccident？
　　Tellme，Pip。
　　CAPTGGrimly。No’Twasn’tanaccidentIgotit-fromaman-inAfghanistan。
　　MRSGInaction？Oh，Pip，andyounevertoldme！
　　CAPTGI’dforgottenallaboutit。
　　MRSGHoldupyourarm！Whatahorrid，uglyscar！Areyousureitdoesn’thurtnow！Howdidthemangiveityou？
　　CAPTGDesperatelylookingathiswatch。WithaknifeIcamedown-oldVanLoodid，that’stosay-andfellonmyleg，soI
　　couldn’trunAndthenthismancameupandbeganchoppingatmeasIsprawled。
　　MRSGOh，don’t，don’t！That’senough！-Well，whathappened？
　　CAPTGIcouldn’tgettomyholster，andMafflincameroundthecornerandstoppedtheperformance。
　　MRSGHow？He’ssuchalazyman，Idon’tbelievehedid。
　　CAPTGDon’tyou？Idon’tthinkthemanhadmuchdoubtaboutitJackcuthisheadoff。
　　MasGCut-his-head-off！“Withoneblow。”astheysayinthebooks？
　　CAPTGI’mnotsureIwastoointerestedinmyselftoknowmuchaboutitAnyhow，theheadwasoff，andJackwaspunchingoldVanLoointheribstomakehimgetupNowyouknowallaboutit，dear，andnow-
　　MRSGYouwantmetogo，ofcourseYounevertoldmeaboutthis，thoughI’vebeenmarriedtoyouforeversolong；andyouneverwouldhavetoldmeifIhadn’tfoundout；andyouneverdotellmeanythingaboutyourself，orwhatyoudo，orwhatyoutakeaninterestin。
　　CAPTGDarling，I’malwayswithyou，aren’tI？
　　MRSGAlwaysinmypocket，youweregoingtosayIknowyouare；butyouarealwaysthinkingawayfromme。
　　CAPTGTryingtohideasmile。AmI？Iwasn’tawareofit。
　　I’mawf’lysorry。
　　MRSGPiteously。Oh，don’tmakefunofme！Pip，youknowwhatImeanWhenyouarereadingoneofthosethingsaboutCavalry，bythatidioticPrince-whydoesn’thebeaPrinceinsteadofastable-boy？
　　CAPTGPrinceKraftastable-boy-Oh，myAunt！Nevermind，dearYouweregoingtosay？
　　MRSGItdoesn’tmatter；youdon’tcareforwhatIsayOnly-onlyyougetupandwalkabouttheroom，staringinfrontofyou，andthenMafflincomesintodinner，andafterI’minthedrawmg-roomIcanhearyouandhimtalking，andtalking，andtalking，aboutthingsIcan’tunderstand，and-oh，Igetsotiredandfeelsolonely！-I
　　don’twanttocomplainandbeatrouble，Pip；butIdoindeedI
　　do！
　　CAPTGMypoordarling！IneverthoughtofthatWhydon’tyouasksomenicepeopleintodinner？
　　MRSGNicepeople！WhereamItofindthem？Horridfrumps！
　　AndifIdid，Ishouldn’tbeamusedYouknowIonlywantyou。
　　CAPT，GAndyouhavemesurely，Sweetheart？
　　MRSGIhavenot！Pipwhydon’tyoutakemeintoyourlife？
　　CAPTGMorethanIdo？Thatwouldbedifficult，dear。
　　MRSGYes，Isupposeitwould-toyouI’mnohelptoyou-nocompaniontoyou；andyouliketohaveitso。
　　CAPTGAren’tyoualittleunreasonable，Pussy？
　　MRSGStampingherfoot。I’mthemostreasonablewomanintheworld-whenI’mtreatedproperly。
　　CAPTGAndsincewhenhaveIbeentreatingyouimproperly？
　　MRSGAlways-andsincethebeginningYouknowyouhave。
　　CAPTGIdon’t；butI’mwillingtobeconvinced。
　　MRSGPointingtosaddlery。There！
　　CAPTGHowdoyoumean？
　　MRSGWhatdoesallthatmean？WhyamInottobetold？Isitsoprecious？
　　CAPTGIforgetitsexactGovernmentvaluejustatpresentItmeansthatitisagreatdealtooheavy。
　　MRSGThenwhydoyoutouchit？
　　CAPTGTomakeitlighterSeehere，littlelove，I’veonenotionandJackhasanother，butwearebothagreedthatallthisequipmentisaboutthirtypoundstooheavyThethingishowtocutitdownwithoutweakeninganypartofit，and，atthesametime，allowingthetroopertocarryeverythinghewantsforhisowncomfort-socksandshirtsandthingsofthatkind。
　　MRSGWhydoesn’thepacktheminalittletrunk？
　　CAPTGKissingher。Oh，youdarling！Packtheminalittletrunk，indeed！Hussarsdon’tcarrytrunks，andit’samostimportantthingtomakethehorsedoallthecarrying。
　　MRSGButwhyneedyoubotheraboutit？You’renotatrooper。
　　CAPTGNo；butIcommandafewscoreofhim；andequipmentisnearlyeverythinginthesedays。
　　MRSGMorethanme？
　　CAPTGStupid！Ofcoursenot；butit’samatterthatI’mtremendouslyinterestedin，becauseifIorJack，orIandJack，workoutsomesortoflightersaddleryandallthatit’spossiblethatwemaygetitadopted。
　　MRSGHow？
　　CAPTGSanctionedatHome，wheretheywillmakeasealedpattern-apatternthatallthesaddlersmustcopy-andsoitwillbeusedbyalltheregiments。
　　MRSGAndthatinterestsyou？
　　CAPTGIt’spartofmyprofession，y’know，andmyprofessionisagooddealtomeEverythinginasoldier’sequipmentisimportant，andifwecanimprovethatequipment，somuchthebetterforthesoldiersandforus。
　　MasGWho’s“us“？
　　CAPTGJackandI；onlyJack’snotionsaretooradicalWhat’sthatbigsighfor，Minnie？
　　MRSGOh，nothing-andyou’vekeptallthisasecretfromme！
　　Why？
　　CAPTGNotasecret，exactly，dearIdidn’tsayanythingaboutittoyoubecauseIdidn’tthinkitwouldamuseyou。
　　MRSGAndamIonlymadetobeamused？
　　CAPTGNo，ofcourseImerelymeanthatitcouldn’tinterestyou。
　　MRSGIt’syourworkand-andifyou’dletme，I’dcountallthesethingsupIftheyaretooheavy，youknowbyhowmuchtheyaretooheavy，andyoumusthavealistofthingsmadeouttoyourscaleoflightness，and-
　　CAPTGIhavegotbothscalessomewhereinmyhead；hutit’shardtotellhowlightyoucanmakeahead-stall，forinstance，untilyou’veactuallyhadamodelmade。
　　MRSGButifyoureadoutthelist，Icouldcopyitdown，andpinituptherejustaboveyourtableWouldn’tthatdo？
　　CAPTGItwouldbeawf’lynice，dear，butitwouldbegivingyoutroublefornothingIcan’tworkthatwayIgobyruleofthumbI
　　knowthepresentscaleofweights，andtheotherone-theonethatI’mtryingtoworkto-willshiftandvarysomuchthatIcouldn’tbecertain，evenifIwroteitdown。
　　MRSGI’msosorryIthoughtImighthelpIsthereanythingelsethatIcouldbeofusein？
　　CAPTGLookingroundtheroom。Ican’tthinkofanything。
　　You’realwayshelpingmeyouknow。
　　MRSGAmI？How？
　　CAPTGYouareofcourse，andaslongasyou’renearme-Ican’texplainexactly，butit’sintheair。
　　MRSGAndthat’swhyyouwantedtosendmeaway？
　　CAPTGThat’sonlywhenI’mtryingtodowork-grubbyworklikethis。
　　MRSGMafflin’sbetter，then，isn’the？
　　CAPTGRashly。OfcourseheisJackandIhavebeenthinkingalongthesamegroovefortwoorthreeyearsaboutthisequipmentIt’sourhobby，anditmayreallybeusefulsomeday。
　　MRSGAfterapause。Andthat’sallthatyouhaveawayfromme？
　　CAPTGItisn’tveryfarawayfromyounowTakecaretheoilonthatbitdoesn’tcomeoffonyourdress。
　　MRSGIwish-IwishsomuchthatIcouldreallyhelpyouI
　　believeIcould-ifIlefttheroomButthat’snotwhatImean。
　　CAPTGAside。Givemepatience！Iwishshewouldgo。