MissTAside。Niceman!HeknowsthatquotationHeisn’taPhilistinewithamoustacheAloud。Good-bye,CaptainGamsby。
Aside。Whatahugehandandwhatasqueeze!Idon’tsupposehemeantit,buthehasdriventheringsintomyfingers。
POORDEARMAMMAHasVermillioncomeroundyet?Oh,yes!CaptainGadsby,don’tyouthinkthatthesaddleistoofarforward?Theypassintothefrontveranda。
CAPTGAside。HowthedickensshouldIknowwhatsheprefers?ShetoldmethatshedotedonhorsesAloud。Ithinkitis。
MissTComingoutintofrontveranda。Oh!BadBuldoo!I
mustspeaktohimforthisHehastakenupthecurbtwolinks,andVermillionbatesthatPassesoutandtohorse’shead。
CAPTGLetmedoit!
MissTNo,VermillionunderstandsmeDon’tyou,oldman?
Loosescurb-chainskilfully,andpatshorseonnoseandthrottle。
PoorVermillion!Didtheywanttocuthischinoff?There!
CaptainGadsbywatchestheinterludewithundisguisedadmiration。
POORDEARMAMMATartlytoMissT。You’veforgottenyourguest,Ithink,dear。
MissTGoodgracious!SoIhave!Good-byeRetreatsindoorshastily。
POORDEARMAMMABunchingreinsinfingershamperedbytootightgauntlets。CAPTAINGamsby!
CAPTAINGADSBYstoopsandmakesthefoot-restPOOR
DEARMAMMAblunders,haltstoolong,andbreaksthroughit。
CAPTGAside。Can’tholdup~evenstoneforeverIt’sallyourrheumatismAloud。Can’timaginewhyIwassoclumsy。
Aside。NowLittleFeatherweightwouldhavegoneuplikeabird。
TheyrideoatofthegardenTheCaptainfallsback。
CAPTGAside。Howthathabitcatchesherunderthearms!
Ugh!
POORDEARMAMMAWiththewornsmileofsixteenseasons,theworseforexchange。You’redullthisafternoon,CAPTAINGamsby。
CAPTGSpurringupwearily。Whydidyoukeepmewaitingsolong?
Etcetera,etcetera,etcetera。
ANINTERVALOFTHREEWEEKS。
GILDEDYOUTHSittingonrailingsoppositeTownHall。
Hullo,Gandy!’BeentrottingouttheGorgonzola!WeallthoughtitwastheGorganyou’remashing。
CAPTGWithwitheringemphasis。Youyoungcub!Whatthe-
doesitmattertoyou?
ProceedstoreadGILDEDYOUTHalectureondiscretionanddeportment,whichcrumbleslatterlikeaChineseLanternDepartsfuming。
FURTHERINTERVALOFFIVEWEEKS。SCENE-ExteriorofNewSimlaLibraryonafoggyeveningMissTHREECANandMissDEERCOURT
meetamongthe’rickshawsMissTiscarryingabundleofbooksunderherleftarm~
MissDLevelintonation。Well?
Miss’I’Ascendingintonation。Well?
MissDCapturingherfriend’sleftarm,takingawayallthebooks,placingbooksin’rickshaw,returningtoarm,securinghandbythirdfingerandinvestigating。Well!Youbadgirl!Andyounevertoldme。
MissTDemurely。He-he-heonlyspokeyesterdayafternoon。
MissDBlessyou,dear!AndI’mtobebridesmaid,aren’tI?Youknowyoupromisedeversolongago。
MissTOfcourseI’lltellyouallaboutitto-morrowGetsinto’rickshaw。OEmma!
MissDWithintenseinterest。Yes,dear?
MissTPiano。It’squitetrue——about-the-egg。
MissDWhategg?
MissTPianissimoprestissimo。Theeggwithoutthesalt。
Porte。Chalogharkojaldi,jhampani!Gohome,jhampani。
THEWORLDWITHOUT
Certainpeopleofimportance。
SCENE-Smoking-roomoftheDegchiClubTime,10。30PMofastuffynightintheRainsFourmendispersedinpicturesqueattitudesandeasy-chairsTotheseenterBLAYNEoftheIrregularMoguls,ineveningdress。
BLAYNEPhew!TheJudgeoughttobehangedinhisownstore-godownHi,khitmatgarlPoorawhiskey-peg,totakethetasteoutofmymouth。
CURTISSRoyalArtillery。That’sit,isit?WhatthedeucemadeyoudineattheJudge’s?Youknowhisbandobust。
BLAYNE’Thoughtitcouldn’tbeworsethantheClub,butI’llswearhebuysullagedliquoranddoctorsitwithginandinklookingroundtheroom。Isthisallofyouto-night?
DOONEP。W。D。AnthonywascalledoutatdinnerMinglehadapaininhistummy。
CURTISSMiggydiesofcholeraonceaweekintheRains,andgetsdrunkonchlorodyneinbetween’Goodlittlechap,though。
AnyoneattheJudge’s,Blayne?
BLAYNECockleyandhismemsahiblookingawfullywhiteandfagged’F’。malegirl-couldn’tcatchthename-onherwaytotheHills,undertheCockleys’charge-theJudge,andMarkynfreshfromSimla-disgustinglyfit。
CURTISSGoodLord,howtrulymagnificent!Wasthereenoughice?WhenImangledgarbagethereIgotonewholelump-nearlyasbigasawalnutWhathadMarkyntosayforhimself?
BLAYNE’SeemsthateveryoneishavingafairlygoodtimeupthereinspiteoftherainByJove,thatremindsme!IknowI
hadn’tcomeacrossjustforthepleasureofyoursocietyNews!
Greatnews!Markyntoldme。
DOONEWho’sdeadnow?
BLAYNENoonethatIknowof;butGandy’shookedatlast!
DROPPINGCHORUSHowmuch?TheDevil!MarkynwaspullingyourlegNotGANDY!
BLAYNEHumming。“Yea,verily,verily,verily!Verily,verily,Isayuntothee。”Theodore,thegifto’God!OurPhillup!It’sbeengivenoutupabove。
MACKESYBarrister-at-Law。Huh!WomenwillgiveoutanythingWhatdoesaccusedsay?
BLAYNEMarkyntoldmethathecongratulatedhimwarily-onehandheldout,t’otherreadytoguardGandyturnedpinkandsaiditwasso。
CURTISSPooroldCaddy!TheyalldoitWho’sshe?Let’shearthedetails。
BLAYNEShe’sagirl-daughterofaColonelSomebody。
DOONESimla’sstiffwithColonels’daughtersBemoreexplicit。
BLAYNEWaitashakeWhatwashername?Thresomething。
Three-
CURTISSStars,perhapsCaddyknowsthatbrand。
BLAYNEThreegan-MinnieThreegan。
MACKESYThreeganIsn’tshealittlebitofagirlwithredhair?
BLAYNE’Boutthat-fromwhatfromwhatMarkynsaid。
MACKESYThenI’vemetherShewasatLucknowlastseason。
’OwnedapermanentlyjuvenileMamma,anddanceddamnablyI
say,Jervoise,youknewtheThreegans,didn’tyou?
JERVOISECivilianoftwenty-fiveyears’service,wakingupfromhisdoze。Eh?What’sthat?Knewwho?How?IthoughtIwasatHome,confoundyou!
MACKESYTheThreegangirl’sengaged,soBlaynesays。
JERVOISESlowly。Engaged-en-gaged!Blessmysoul!I’mgettinganoldman!LittleMinnieThreeganengagedItwasonlytheotherdayIwenthomewiththemintheSurat-no,theMassilia-
andshewascrawlingaboutonherhandsandkneesamongtheayahs’Usedtocallmethe“TickTackSakib“becauseIshowedhermywatchAndthatwasinSixty-Seven-no,SeventyGoodGod,howtimeflies!I’manoldmanIrememberwhenThreeganmarriedMissDerwent-daughterofoldHookyDerwent-butthatwasbeforeyourtimeAndsothelittlebaby’sengagedtohavealittlebabyofherown!Who’stheotherfool?
MACKESYGadsbyofthePinkHussars。
JERVOISE’NevermethimThreeganlivedindebt,marriedindebt,and’lldieindebt’Mustbegladtogetthegirloffhishands。
BLAYNECaddyhasmoney-luckydevilPlaceatHome,too。
DOONEHecomesoffirst-classstock’Can’tquiteunderstandhisbeingcaughtbyaColonel’sdaughter,andlookingcautiouslyroundroom。BlackInfantryatthat!Nooffencetoyou,Blayne。
BLAYNEStiffly。Notmuch,thaanks。
CURTISSQuotingmottoofIrregularMoguls。“Wearewhatweare。”eh,oldman?ButGandywassuchasuperioranimalasarule。
Whydidn’thegoHomeandpickhiswifethere?
MACKESYTheyareallalikewhentheycometotheturnintothestraightAboutthirtyamanbeginstogetsickoflivingalone。
CURTISSAndoftheeternalmuttony-chopinthemorning。
DOONEIt’sadeadgoatasarule,butgoon,Mackesy。
MACKESYIfaman’soncetakenthatwaynothingwillholdhim,DoyourememberBenoitofyourservice,Doone?TheytransferredhimtoTharandawhenhistimecame,andhemarriedaplatelayer’sdaughter,orsomethingofthatkindShewastheonlyfemaleabouttheplace。
DONEYes,poorbruteThatsmashedBenoit’schancesofpromotionaltogetherMrsBenoitusedtoask“Wasyougem’tothedancethisevenin’?”
CURTISSHangitall!Gandyhasn’tmarriedbeneathhimThere’snotarbrushinthefamily,Isuppose。
JERVOISETar-brush!NotanannaYouyoungfellowstalkasthoughthemanwasdoingthegirlanhonorinmarryingher。
You’realltooconceited-nothing’sgoodenoughforyou。
BLAYNENotevenanemptyClub,adam’baddinnerattheJudge’s,andaStationassicklyasahospitalYou’requiteright。
We’reasetofSybarites。
DOONELuxuriousdogs,wallowingin-
CURTISSPricklyheatbetweentheshouldersI’mcoveredwithitLet’shopeBeorawillbecooler。
BLAYNEWhew!Areyouorderedintocamp,too?IthoughttheGunnershadacleansheet。
CURTISSNo,worseluckTwocasesyesterday-onedied-andifwehaveathird,outwegoIsthereanyshootingatBeora,Doone?
DOONEThecountry’sunderwater,exceptthepatchbytheGrandTrunkRoadIwasthereyesterday,lookingatabund,andcameacrossfourpoordevilsintheirlaststageIt’sratherbadfromheretoKuchara。
CURTISSThenwe’reprettycertaintohaveaheavygoofit。
Heigho!Ishouldn’tmindchangingplaceswithGaddyforawhile。
’SportwithAmaryllisintheshadeoftheTownHall,andallthat。
Oh,whydoesn’tsomebodycomeandmarryme,insteadoflettingmegointocholera-camp?
MACKESYAsktheCommittee。
CURTISSYouruffian!You’llstandmeanotherpegforthat。
Blayne,whatwillyoutake?Mackesyisfineonmoralgrounds。
Done,haveyouanypreference?
DONESmallglassKummel,pleaseExcellentcarminative,thesedaysAnthonytoldmeso。
MACKESYSigningvoucherforfourdrinks。MostunfairpunishmentIonlythoughtofCurtissasActaeonbeingchiviedroundthebilliardtablesbythenymphsofDiana。
BLAYNECurtisswouldhavetoimporthisnymphsbytrainMrs。
Cockley’stheonlywomanintheStationShewon’tleaveCockley,andhe’sdoinghisbesttogethertogo。
CURTISSGood,indeed!Here’sMrsCockley’shealthTotheonlywifeintheStationandadamnedbravewoman!
OMNESDrinking。AdamnedbravewomanBLAVNEIsupposeGandywillbringhiswifehereattheendofthecoldweatherTheyaregoingtobemarriedalmostimmediately,Ibelieve。
CURTISSGandymaythankhisluckthatthePinkHussarsarealldetachmentandnoheadquartersthishotweather,orhe’dbetornfromthearmsofhisloveassureasdeathHaveyouevernoticedthethorough-mindedwayBritishCavalrytaketocholera?It’sbecausetheyaresoexpensiveIfthePinkshadstoodfasthere,theywouldhavebeenoutincampamonthTHEWORLDWITHOUT