agoYes，IshoulddecidedlyliketobeGandy。
　　MACKESYHe’llgoHomeafterhe’smarried，andsendinhispapers-seeifhedoesn’t。
　　BLAYNEWhyshouldn’the？Hasn’themoney？Wouldanyoneofusbehereifweweren’tpaupers？
　　DONEPooroldpauper！Whathasbecomeofthesixhundredyourookedfromourtablelastmonth？
　　BLAYNEIttookuntoitselfwingsIthinkanenterprisingtradesmangotsomeofit，andashroffgobbledtherest-orelseI
　　spentit。
　　CURTISSGandyneverhaddealingswithashroffinhislife。
　　DONEVirtuousGandy！IfIhadthreethousandamonth，paidfromEngland，Idon’tthinkI’ddealwithashroffeither。
　　MACKESYYawning。Oh，it’sasweetlife！Iwonderwhethermatrimonywouldmakeitsweeter。
　　CURTISSAskCockley-withhiswifedyingbyinches！
　　BLAYNEGohomeandgetafoolofagirltocomeoutto-whatisitThackeraysays？-“thesplendidpalaceofanIndianpro-consul。”
　　DOONEWhichremindsmeMyquartersleaklikeasieveIhadfeverlastnightfromsleepinginaswampAndtheworstofitis，onecan’tdoanythingtoarooftilltheRainsareover。
　　CURTISSWhat’swrongwithyou？Youhaven’teightyrottingTommiestotakeintoarunningstream。
　　DONENo：butI’mmixedboilsandbadlanguageI’maregularJoballovermybodyIt’ssheerpovertyofblood，andIdon’tseeanychanceofgettingricher-eitherway。
　　BLAYNECan’tyoutakeleave？DONEThat’sthepullyouArmymenhaveoverusTendaysarenothinginyoursightI’msoimportantthatGovernmentcan’tfindasubstituteifIgoaway。
　　Ye-es，I’dliketobeGandy，whoeverhiswifemaybe。
　　CURTISSYou’vepassedtheturnoflifethatMackesywasspeakingof。
　　DONEIndeedIhave，butIneveryethadthebrutalitytoaskawomantosharemylifeouthere。
　　BLAvNEOnmysoulIbelieveyou’rerightI’mthinkingofMrs。
　　CockleyThewoman’sanabsolutewreck。
　　DONEExactlyBecauseshestaysdownhereTheonlywaytokeepherfitwouldbetosendhertotheHillsforeightmonths-andthesamewithanywomanIfancyIseemyselftakingawifeonthoseterms。
　　MACKESYWiththerupeeatoneandsixpenceThelittleDooneswouldbelittleDebraDoones，withafineMussooriechi-chianenttobringhomefortheholidays。
　　CURTISSAndapairofbe-ewtifulsambhur-hornsforDonetowear，freeofexpense，presentedby-DONEYes，it’sanenchantingprospectBytheway，therupeehasn’tdonefallingyetThetimewillcomewhenweshallthinkourselvesluckyifweonlylosehalfourpay。
　　CURTISSSurelyathird’slossenoughWhogainsbythearrangement？That’swhatIwanttoknow。
　　BLAYNETheSilverQuestion！I’mgoingtobedifyoubeginsquabblingThankGoodness，here’sAnthony-lookinglikeaghost。
　　EnterANTHONY，IndianMedicalStaff，verywhiteandtired。
　　ANTHONY’Evening，BlayneIt’sraininginsheetsWhiskeypeglao，khitmatgarTheroadsaresomethingghastly。
　　CURTISSHow’sMingle？
　　ANTHONYVerybad，andmorefrightenedIhandedhimovertoFew-tonMinglemightjustaswellhavecalledhiminthefirstplace，insteadofbotheringme。
　　BLAYNEHe’sanervouslittlechapWhathashegot，thistime？
　　ANTHONY’Can’tquitesayAverybadtummyandabluefunksofarHeaskedmeatonceifitwascholera，andItoldhimnottobeafoolThatsoothedhim。
　　CURTISPoordevil！Thefunkdoeshalfthebusinessinamanofthatbuild。
　　ANTHONYLightingacheroot。IfirmlybelievethefunkwillkillhimifhestaysdownYouknowtheamountoftroublehe’sbeengivingFewtonforthelastthreeweeksHe’sdoinghisverybesttofrightenhimselfintothegrave。
　　GENERALCHORUSPoorlittledevil！Whydoesn’thegetaway？
　　ANTHONY’Can’tHehashisleaveallright，buthe’ssodippedhecan’ttakeit，andIdon’tthinkhisnameonpaperwouldraisefourannasThat’sinconfidence，though。
　　MACKESYAlltheStationknowsit。
　　ANTHONY“IsupposeIshallhavetodiehere。”hesaid，squirmingallacrossthebedHe’squitemadeuphismindtoKingdomComeAndIknowhehasnothingmorethanawet-weathertummyifhecouldonlykeepahandonhimself。
　　BLAYNEThat’sbadThat’sverybadPoorlittleMiggyGoodlittlechap，tooIsay-
　　ANTHONYWhatdoyousay？
　　BLAYNEWell，lookhere-anyhowIfit’slikethat-asyousay-I
　　sayfifty。
　　CURTISSIsayfifty。
　　MACKESYIgotwentybetter。
　　DONEBloatedCroesusoftheBar！IsayfiftyJervoise，whatdoyousay？Hi！Wakeup！
　　JERVOISEEh？What’sthat？What’sthat？
　　CURTISSWewantahundredrupeesfromyouYou’reabachelordrawingagiganticincome，andthere’samaninahole。
　　JERVOISEWhatman？Anyonedead？
　　BLAYNENo，huthe’lldieifyoudon’tgivethehundredHere！
　　Here’sapeg-voucherYoucanseewhatwe’vesignedfor，andAnthony’smanwillcomeroundto-morrowtocollectitSotherewillbenotrouble。
　　JERVOISESigning。Onehundred，EMJThereyouarefeeblyItisn’toneofyourjokes，isit？
　　BLAYNENo，itreallyiswantedAnthony，youwerethebiggestpoker-winnerlastweek，andyou’vedefraudedthetax-collectortoolongSign！
　　ANTHONYLet’sseeThreefiftiesandaseventy-twotwenty-threetwenty~sayfourhundredandtwentyThat’llgivehimamonthclearattheHillsManythanks，youmenI’llsendroundthechaprassito-morrow。
　　CURTISSYoumustengineerhi~takingthestuff，andofcourseyoumustn’t-
　　ANTHONYOfcourseItwouldneverdoHe’dweepwithgratitudeoverhiseveningdrink。
　　BLAYNEThat’sjustwhathewoulddo，damnhimOh！Isay，Anthony，youpretendtoknoweverythingHaveyouheardaboutGandy？
　　ANTHONYNoDivorceCourtatlast？
　　BLAYNEWorseHe’sengaged！
　　ANTHONYHowmuch？Hecan’tbe！
　　BLAYNEHeisHe’sgoingtobemarriedinafewweeksMarkyntoldmeattheJudge’sthiseveningIt’spukka。
　　ANTHONYYoudon’tsayso？HolyMoses！There’llbeashineinthetentsofKedar。
　　CURTISS’Regimentcutuprough，thinkyou？
　　ANTHONY’Don’tknowanythingabouttheRegiment。
　　MACKESYItisbigamy，then？
　　ANTHONYMaybeDoyoumeantosaythatyoumenhaveforgotten，oristheremorecharityintheworldthanIthought？
　　DONEYoudon’tlookprettywhenyouaretryingtokeepasecret。
　　YoubloatExplain。
　　ANTHONYMrsHerriott！
　　BLAYNEAfteralongpause，totheroomgenerally。It’smynotionthatweareasetoffools。
　　MACKESYNonsenseThatbusinesswasknockedontheheadlastseasonWhy，youngMallard-
　　ANTHONYMallardwasacandlestick，paradedassuchThinkawhileRecollectlastseasonandthetalkthenMallardornoMallard，didGandyevertalktoanyotherwoman？
　　CURTISSThere’ssomethinginthatItwasslightlynoticeablenowyoucometomentionitButshe’satNainiTatandhe’satSimla。
　　ANTHONYHehadtogotoSimlatolookafteraglobe-trotterrelativeofhis-apersonwithatitleUncleoraunt。
　　BLAYNEAndtherehegotengagedNolawpreventsamangrowingtiredofawoman。
　　ANTHONYExceptthathemustn’tdoittillthewomanistiredofhimAndtheHerriottwomanwasnotthat。
　　CURTISSShemaybenowTwomonthsofNainiTalworkswonders。
　　DONECuriousthinghowsomewomencarryaFatewiththem。
　　TherewasaMrsDeegieintheCentralProvinceswhosemeninvariablyfellawayandgotmarriedItbecamearegularproverbwithuswhenIwasdownthereIrememberthreemendesperatelydevotedtoher，andtheyall，oneafteranother，tookwives。
　　CURTISSThat’soddNowIshouldhavethoughtthatMrs。
　　Deegie’sinfluencewouldhaveledthemtotakeothermen’swives。
　　ItoughttohavemadethemafraidofthejudgmentofProvidence。
　　ANTHONYMrsHerriottwillmakeGandyafraidofsomethingmorethanthejudgmentofProvidence，Ifancy。
　　BLAYNESupposingthingsareasyousay，he’llbeafooltofaceherHe’llsittightatSimla。
　　ANTHONY’Shouldn’tbeabitsurprisedifhewentofftoNainitoexplainHe’sanunaccountablesortofman，andshe’slikelytobeamorethanunaccountablewoman。
　　DONEWhatmakesyoutakehercharacterawaysoconfidently？
　　ANTHONYPrimumternpusCaddywasherfirstandawomandoesn’tallowherfirstmantodropawaywithoutexpostulation。
　　ShejustifiesthefirsttransferofaffectiontoherselfbyswearingthatitisforeverandeverConsequently-
　　BLAYNEConsequently，wearesittingheretillpastoneo’clock，talkingscandallikeasetofStationcatsAnthony，it’sallyourfaultWewereperfectlyrespectabletillyoucameinGotobed。
　　I’moff，Good-nightall。
　　CURTISSPastone！It’spasttwobyJove，andhere’sthekhitcomingforthelatechargeJustHeavens！One，two，three，four，fiverupeestopayforthepleasureofsayingthatapoorlittlebeastofawomanisnobetterthansheshouldbeI’mashamedofmyself。
　　Gotobed，youslanderousvillains，andifI’msenttoBeorato-morrow，bepreparedtohearI’mdeadbeforepayingmycardaccount！
　　THETENTSOFKEDAR
　　OnlywhyshoulditbewithpainatallWhymustI’twixtheleavesofcorona！
　　Putanykissofpardononthybrow？
　　Whyshouldtheotherwomenknowsomuch，Andtalktogether-SuchthelookandsuchThesmileheusedtolovewith，thenasnow-
　　AnyWifetoanyHusband。
　　SCENE-ANainiTaldinnerforthirty-fourPlate，wines，crockery，andkhitmatgarscarefullycalculatedtoscaleofRs6000permensem，lessExchangeTablesplitlengthwaysbybankofflowers。
　　MRSHERRIOTTAfterconversationhasrisentoproperpitch。
　　Ah！’Didn’tseeyouinthecrushinthedrawing-roomSottovoce。
　　Wherehaveyoubeenallthiswhile，Pip？
　　CAPTAINGADSBYTurningfromregularlyordaineddinnerpartnerandsettlinghockglasses。GoodeveningSottovoce。
　　NotquitesoloudanothertimeYou’venonotionhowyourvoicecarriesAside。SomuchforshirkingthewrittenexplanationIt’llhavetobeaverbalonenowSweetprospect！HowonearthamI
　　totellherthatIamarespectable，engagedmemberofsocietyandit’salloverbetweenus？
　　MRSHI’veaheavyscoreagainstyouWherewereyouattheMondayPop？WherewereyouonTuesday？WherewereyouattheLamonts’tennis？Iwaslookingeverywhere。
　　CAPTGForme！Oh，Iwasalivesomewhere，Isuppose。
　　Aside。
　　It’sforMinnie’ssake，butit’sgoingtobedashedunpleasant。
　　MRSHHaveIdoneanythingtooffendyou？InevermeantitifI
　　haveIcouldn’thelpgoingforaridewiththeVaynormanItwaspromi5edaweekbeforeyoucameup。
　　CAPTGIdidn’tknow-
　　MRSHItreallywas。
　　CAPTGAnythingaboutit，Imean。
　　MRSHWhathasupsetyoutoday？Allthesedays？Youhaven’tbeennearmeforfourwholedays-nearlyonehundredhoursWasitkindofyou，Pip？AndI’vebeenlookingforwardsomuchtoyourcoming。
　　CAPTGHaveyou？
　　MRSHYouknowIhave！I’vebeenasfoolishasaschoolgirlaboutitImadealittlecalendarandputitinmycard-case，andeverytimethetwelveo’clockgunwentoffIscratchedoutasquareandsaid：“ThatbringsmenearertoPipMyPip！”