首页 >出版文学> The Works of Rudyard Kipling One>第109章
  ButTorpenhowwasinthesouthofEngland,inspectingdockyardsinthecompanyoftheNilghaiHisletterswerebriefandfullofmystery。
  DickhadneveraskedanybodytohelphiminhisjoysorhissorrowsHeargued,inthelonelinessofhisstudio,henceforwardtobedecoratedwithafilmofgraygauzeinonecorner,that,ifhisfatewereblindness,alltheTorpenhowsintheworldcouldnotsavehim’Ican’tcallhimoffhistriptositdownandsympathisewithmeImustpullthroughthisbusinessalone,’hesaidHewaslyingonthesofa,eatinghismoustacheandwonderingwhatthedarknessofthenightwouldbelikeThencametohismindthememoryofaquaintsceneintheSoudanAsoldierhadbeennearlyhackedintwobyabroad-bladedArabspearForoneinstantthemanfeltnopainLookingdown,hesawthathislife-bloodwasgoingfromhimThestupidbewildermentonhisfacewassointenselycomicthatbothDickandTorpenhow,stillpantingandunstrungfromafightforlife,hadroaredwithlaughter,inwhichthemanseemedasifhewouldjoin,but,ashislipspartedinasheepishgrin,theagonyofdeathcameuponhim,andhepitchedgruntingattheirfeetDicklaughedagain,rememberingthehorrorItseemedsoexactlylikehisowncase。
  ’ButIhavealittlemoretimeallowedme,’hesaidHepacedupanddowntheroom,quietlyatfirst,butafterwardswiththehurriedfeetoffearItwasasthoughablackshadowstoodathiselbowandurgedhimtogoforward;andtherewereonlyweavingcirclesandfloatingpin-dotsbeforehiseyes。
  ’Weneedtobecalm,Binkie;wemustbecalm。’Hetalkedaloudforthesakeofdistraction’Thisisn’tniceatallWhatshallwedo?WemustdosomethingOurtimeisshortIshouldn’thavebelievedthatthismorning;
  butnowthingsaredifferentBinkie,wherewasMoseswhenthelightwentout?’
  Binkiesmiledfromeartoear,asawell-bredterriershould,butmadenosuggestion。
  ’“Weretherebutworldenoughandtime,Thiscoyness,Binkie,werenotcrimeButatmybackIalwayshear——“’Hewipedhisforehead,whichwasunpleasantlydamp’WhatcanIdo?WhatcanIdo?I
  haven’tanynotionsleft,andIcan’tthinkconnectedly,butImustdosomething,orIshallgooffmyhead。’
  Thehurriedwalkrecommenced,Dickstoppingeverynowandagaintodragforthlong-neglectedcanvasesandoldnote-books;forheturnedtohisworkbyinstinct,asathingthatcouldnotfail’Youwon’tdo,andyouwon’tdo,’hesaid,ateachinspection’NomoresoldiersIcouldn’tpaint’emSuddendeathcomeshometoonearly,andthisisbattleandmurderforme。’
  Thedaywasfailing,andDickthoughtforamomentthatthetwilightoftheblindhadcomeuponhimunaware’AllahAlmighty!’hecrieddespairingly,’helpmethroughthetimeofwaiting,andIwon’twhinewhenmypunishmentcomesWhatcanIdonow,beforethelightgoes?’
  TherewasnoanswerDickwaitedtillhecouldregainsomesortofcontroloverhimselfHishandswereshaking,andhepridedhimselfontheirsteadiness;hecouldfeelthathislipswerequivering,andthesweatwasrunningdownhisfaceHewaslashedbyfear,drivenforwardbythedesiretogettoworkatonceandaccomplishsomething,andmaddenedbytherefusalofhisbraintodomorethanrepeatthenewsthathewasabouttogoblind’It’sahumiliatingexhibition,’hethought,’andI’mgladTorpisn’theretoseeThedoctorsaidIwastoavoidmentalworry。
  Comehereandletmepetyou,Binkie。’
  ThelittledogyelpedbecauseDicknearlysqueezedthebarkoutofhim。
  Thenheheardthemanspeakinginthetwilight,and,doglike,understoodthathistroublestoodofffromhim——
  ’Allahisgood,BinkieNotquitesogentleaswecouldwish,butwe’lldiscussthatlaterIthinkIseemywaytoitnowAllthosestudiesofBessie’sheadwerenonsense,andtheynearlybroughtyourmasterintoascrapeIholdthenotionnowasclearascrystal,——“theMelancoliathattranscendsallwit。”ThereshallbeMaisieinthathead,becauseI
  shallnevergetMaisie;andBess,ofcourse,becausesheknowsallaboutMelancolia,thoughshedoesn’tknowsheknows;andthereshallbesomedrawinginit,anditshallallendupwithalaughThat’sformyself。
  Shallshegiggleorgrin?No,sheshalllaughrightoutofthecanvas,andeverymanandwomanthateverhadasorrowoftheirownshall——whatisitthepoemsays?——
  ’UnderstandthespeechandfeelastirOffellowshipinalldisastrousfight。
  “Inalldisastrousfight“?That’sbetterthanpaintingthethingmerelytopiqueMaisieIcandoitnowbecauseIhaveitinsidemeBinkie,I’mgoingtoholdyouupbyyourtailYou’reanomenComehere。’
  Binkieswungheaddownwardforamomentwithoutspeaking。
  ’Ratherlikeholdingaguinea-pig;butyou’reabravelittledog,andyoudon’tyelpwhenyou’rehungupItisanomen。’
  Binkiewenttohisownchair,andasoftenashelookedsawDickwalkingupanddown,rubbinghishandsandchucklingThatnightDickwrotealettertoMaisiefullofthetenderestregardforherhealth,butsayingverylittleabouthisown,anddreamedoftheMelancoliatobebornNottillmorningdidherememberthatsomethingmighthappentohiminthefuture。
  Hefelltowork,whistlingsoftly,andwasswallowedupintheclean,clearjoyofcreation,whichdoesnotcometomantoooften,lestheshouldconsiderhimselftheequalofhisGod,andsorefusetodieattheappointedtimeHeforgotMaisie,Torpenhow,andBinkieathisfeet,butrememberedtostirBessie,whoneededverylittlestirring,intoatremendousrage,thathemightwatchthesmoulderinglightsinhereyes。
  Hethrewhimselfwithoutreservationintohiswork,anddidnotthinkofthedoomthatwastoovertakehim,forhewaspossessedwithhisnotion,andthethingsofthisworldhadnopoweruponhim。
  ’You’repleasedto-day,’saidBessie。
  Dickwavedhismahl-stickinmysticcirclesandwenttothesideboardforadrinkIntheevening,whentheexaltationofthedayhaddieddown,hewenttothesideboardagain,andaftersomevisitsbecameconvincedthattheeye-doctorwasaliar,sincehecouldstillseeeverythingveryclearly。
  HewasofopinionthathewouldevenmakeahomeforMaisie,andthatwhethershelikeditornotsheshouldbehiswifeThemoodpassednextmorning,butthesideboardandalluponitremainedforhiscomfort。
  Againhesettowork,andhiseyestroubledhimwithspotsanddashesandblurstillhehadtakencounselwiththesideboard,andtheMelancoliabothonthecanvasandinhisownmindappearedlovelierthaneverTherewasadelightfulsenseofirresponsibilityuponhim,suchastheyfeelwhowalkingamongtheirfellow-menknowthatthedeath-sentenceofdiseaseisuponthem,and,seeingthatfearisbutwasteofthelittletimeleft,areriotouslyhappyThedayspassedwithoutevent。
  Bessiearrivedpunctuallyalways,and,thoughhervoiceseemedtoDicktocomefromadistance,herfacewasalwaysverynearTheMelancoliabegantoflameonthecanvas,inthelikenessofawomanwhohadknownallthesorrowintheworldandwaslaughingatitItwastruethatthecornersofthestudiodrapedthemselvesingrayfilmandretiredintothedarkness,thatthespotsinhiseyesandthepainsacrosshisheadwereverytroublesome,andthatMaisie’sletterswerehardtoreadandharderstilltoanswerHecouldnottellherofhistrouble,andhecouldnotlaughatheraccountsofherownMelancoliawhichwasalwaysgoingtobefinishedButthefuriousdaysoftoilandthenightsofwilddreamsmadeamendsforall,andthesideboardwashisbestfriendonearth。
  BessiewassingularlydullSheusedtoshriekwithragewhenDickstaredatherbetweenhalf-closedeyesNowshesulked,orwatchedhimwithdisgust,sayingverylittle。
  TorpenhowhadbeenabsentforsixweeksAnincoherentnoteheraldedhisreturn’News!greatnews!’hewrote’TheNilghaiknows,andsodoestheKeneuWe’reallbackonThursdayGetlunchandcleanyouraccoutrements。’
  DickshowedBessietheletter,andsheabusedhimforthathehadeversentTorpenhowawayandruinedherlife。
  ’Well,’saidDick,brutally,’you’rebetterasyouare,insteadofmakinglovetosomedrunkenbeastinthestreet。’HefeltthathehadrescuedTorpenhowfromgreattemptation。
  ’Idon’tknowifthat’sanyworsethansittingtoadrunkenbeastinastudioYouhaven’tbeensoberforthreeweeksYou’vebeensoakingthewholetime;andyetyoupretendyou’rebetterthanme!’
  ’Whatd’youmean?’saidDick。
  ’Mean!You’llseewhenMrTorpenhowcomesback。’
  ItwasnotlongtowaitTorpenhowmetBessieonthestaircasewithoutasignoffeelingHehadnewsthatwasmoretohimthanmanyBessies,andtheKeneuandtheNilghaiweretramplingbehindhim,callingforDick。
  ’Drinkinglikeafish,’Bessiewhispered’He’sbeenatitfornearlyamonth。’Shefollowedthemenstealthilytohearjudgmentdone。
  Theycameintothestudio,rejoicing,tobewelcomedovereffusivelybyadrawn,lined,shrunken,haggardwreck,——unshaven,blue-whiteaboutthenostrils,stoopingintheshoulders,andpeeringunderhiseyebrowsnervouslyThedrinkhadbeenatworkassteadilyasDick。
  ’Isthisyou?’saidTorpenhow。
  ’Allthat’sleftofmeSitdownBinkie’squitewell,andI’vebeendoingsomegoodwork。’Hereeledwherehestood。
  ’You’vedonesomeoftheworstworkyou’veeverdoneinyourlife。
  Manalive,you’re——’
  Torpenhowturnedtohiscompanionsappealingly,andtheylefttheroomtofindlunchelsewhereThenhespoke;but,sincethereproofofafriendismuchtoosacredandintimateathingtobeprinted,andsinceTorpenhowusedfiguresandmetaphorswhichwereunseemly,andcontemptuntranslatable,itwillneverbeknownwhatwasactuallysaidtoDick,whoblinkedandwinkedandpickedathishandsAfteratimetheculpritbegantofeeltheneedofalittleself-respectHewasquitesurethathehadnotinanywaydepartedfromvirtue,andtherewerereasons,too,ofwhichTorpenhowknewnothingHewouldexplain。
  Herose,triedtostraightenhisshoulders,andspoketothefacehecouldhardlysee。
  ’Youareright,’hesaid’ButIamright,tooAfteryouwentawayI
  hadsometroublewithmyeyesSoIwenttoanoculist,andheturnedagasogene——Imeanagas-engine——intomyeyeThatwasverylongagoHesaid,“Scaronthehead,——sword-cutandopticnerve。”MakeanoteofthatSoIamgoingblindIhavesomeworktodobeforeIgoblind,andI
  supposethatImustdoitIcannotseemuchnow,butIcanseebestwhenIamdrunkIdidnotknowIwasdrunktillIwastold,butImustgoonwithmyworkIfyouwanttoseeit,thereitis。’HepointedtotheallbutfinishedMelancoliaandlookedforapplause。
  Torpenhowsaidnothing,andDickbegantowhimperfeebly,forjoyatseeingTorpenhowagain,forgriefatmisdeeds——ifindeedtheyweremisdeeds——thatmadeTorpenhowremoteandunsympathetic,andforchildishvanityhurt,sinceTorpenhowhadnotgivenawordofpraisetohiswonderfulpicture。
  Bessielookedthroughthekeyholeafteralongpause,andsawthetwowalkingupanddownasusual,Torpenhow’shandonDick’sshoulder。
  HereatshesaidsomethingsoimproperthatitshockedevenBinkie,whowasdribblingpatientlyonthelandingwiththehopeofseeinghismasteragain。
  CHAPTERXI
  ThelarkwillmakeherhymntoGod,Thepartridgecallherbrood,WhileIforgettheheathItrod,ThefieldswhereinIstood。
  ’Tisduletoknownotnightfrommorn,ButdeeperduletoknowIcanbuthearthehunter’shornThatonceIusedtoblow——
  TheOnlySon-
  ITWASthethirddayafterTorpenhow’sreturn,andhisheartwasheavy。
  ’Doyoumeantotellmethatyoucan’tseetoworkwithoutwhiskey?It’sgenerallytheotherwayabout。’
  ’Canadrunkardswearonhishonour?’saidDick。
  ’Yes,ifhehasbeenasgodamanasyou。’
  ’ThenIgiveyoumywordofhonour,’saidDick,speakinghurriedlythroughparchedlips’Oldman,Icanhardlyseeyourfacenow。
  You’vekeptmesoberfortwodays,——ifIeverwasdrunk,——andI’vedonenowork。
  Don’tkeepmebackanymoreIdon’tknowwhenmyeyesmaygiveout。
  ThespotsanddotsandthepainsandthingsarecrowdingworsethaneverIswearIcanseeallrightwhenI’m——whenI’mmoderatelyscrewed,asyousayGivemethreemoresittingsfromBessieandall——thestuffI
  want,andthepicturewillbedoneIcan’tkillmyselfinthreedays。
  ItonlymeansatouchofDTattheworst。’
  ’IfIgiveyouthreedaysmorewillyoupromisemetostopworkand——theotherthing,whetherthepicture’sfinishedornot?’
  ’Ican’tYoudon’tknowwhatthatpicturemeanstomeButsurelyyoucouldgettheNilghaitohelpyou,andknockmedownandtiemeupI
  shouldn’tfightforthewhiskey,butIshouldforthework。’
  ’Goon,thenIgiveyouthreedays;butyou’renearlybreakingmyheart。’
  Dickreturnedtohiswork,toilingasonepossessed;andtheyellowdevilofwhiskeystoodbyhimandchasedawaythespotsinhiseyes。
  TheMelancoliawasnearlyfinished,andwasallornearlyallthathehadhopedshewouldbeDickjestedwithBessie,whoremindedhimthathewas’adrunkenbeast’;butthereproofdidnotmovehim。