首页 >出版文学> The Works of Rudyard Kipling One>第108章
  Bessiewithdrew,scrubbinghercheekwitharaggedpocket-handkerchiefThetwomenlookedateachother。
  ’You’reaman,’saidTorpenhow。
  ’I’mafraidI’vebeenafoolItisn’tourbusinesstorunabouttheearthreformingBessieBrokesAndawomanofanykindhasnorightonthislanding。’
  ’Perhapsshewon’tcomeback。’
  ’ShewillifshethinksshecangetfoodandwarmthhereIknowshewill,worseluckButremember,oldman,sheisn’tawoman;she’smymodel;
  andbecareful。’
  ’Theidea!She’sadissolutelittlescarecrow,——agutter-snippetandnothingmore。’
  ’SoyouthinkWaittillshehasbeenfedalittleandfreedfromfearThatfairtyperecoversitselfveryquicklyYouwon’tknowherinaweekortwo,whenthatabjectfearhasdiedoutofhereyesShe’llbetoohappyandsmilingformypurposes。’
  ’Butsurelyyou’renottakingheroutofcharity?——topleaseme?’
  ’Iamnotinthehabitofplayingwithhotcoalstopleaseanybody。
  Shehasbeensentfromheaven,asImayhaveremarkedbefore,tohelpmewithmyMelancolia。’
  ’Neverheardawordabouttheladybefore。’
  ’What’stheuseofhavingafriend,ifyoumustslingyournotionsathiminwords?YououghttoknowwhatI’mthinkingaboutYou’veheardmegruntlately?’
  ’Evenso;butgruntsmeananythinginyourlanguage,frombad’baccytowickeddealersAndIdon’tthinkI’vebeenmuchinyourconfidenceforsometime。’
  ’ItwasahighandsoulfulgruntYououghttohaveunderstoodthatitmeanttheMelancolia。’DickwalkedTorpenhowupanddowntheroom,keepingsilenceThenhesmotehimintheribs,’Nowdon’tyouseeit?
  Bessie’sabjectfutility,andtheterrorinhereyes,weldedontooneortwodetailsinthewayofsorrowthathavecomeundermyexperiencelatelyLikewisesomeorangeandblack,——twokeysofeachButI
  can’texplainonanemptystomach。’
  ’ItsoundsmadenoughYou’dbettersticktoyoursoldiers,Dick,insteadofmaunderingaboutheadsandeyesandexperiences。’
  ’Thinkso?’Dickbegantodanceonhisheels,singing——
  ’They’reasproudasaturkeywhentheyholdthereadycash,Yououghtto’earthewaytheylaughan’joke;
  Theyaretrickyan’they’refunnywhenthey’vegotthereadymoney,——
  Ow!butsee’emwhenthey’reallstone-broke。’
  ThenhesatdowntopourouthishearttoMaisieinafour-sheetletterofcounselandencouragement,andregisteredanoaththathewouldgettoworkwithanundividedheartassoonasBessieshouldreappear。
  Thegirlkeptherappointmentunpaintedandunadorned,afraidandoverboldbyturnsWhenshefoundthatshewasmerelyexpectedtositstill,shegrewcalmer,andcriticisedtheappointmentsofthestudiowithfreedomandsomepointShelikedthewarmthandthecomfortandthereleasefromfearofphysicalpainDickmadetwoorthreestudiesofherheadinmonochrome,buttheactualnotionoftheMelancoliawouldnotarrive。
  ’Whatamessyoukeepyourthingsin!’saidBessie,somedayslater,whenshefeltherselfthoroughlyathome’Is’poseyourclothesarejustasbad。
  Gentlemenneverthinkwhatbuttonsandtapearemadefor。’
  ’Ibuythingstowear,andwear’emtilltheygotopiecesIdon’tknowwhatTorpenhowdoes。’
  Bessiemadediligentinquiryinthelatter’sroom,andunearthedabaleofdisreputablesocks’SomeoftheseI’llmendnow,’shesaid,’andsomeI’lltakehomeD’youknow,Isitalldaylongathomedoingnothing,justlikealady,andnomorenoticingthemothergirlsinthehousethaniftheywassomanyfliesIdon’thaveanyunnecessarywords,butIput’emdownquick,Icantellyou,whentheytalktomeNo;it’squitenicethesedaysIlockmydoor,andtheycanonlycallmenamesthroughthekeyhole,andIsitinside,justlikealady,mendingsocksMr。
  Torpenhowwearshissocksoutbothendsatonce。’
  ’Threequidaweekfromme,andthedelightsofmysocietyNosocksmendedNothingfromTorpexceptanodonthelandingnowandagain,andallhissocksmendedBessieisverymuchawoman,’thoughtDick;
  andhelookedatherbetweenhalf-shuteyesFoodandresthadtransformedthegirl,asDickknewtheywould。
  ’Whatareyoulookingatmelikethatfor?’shesaidquickly’Don’t。
  Youlookreg’larbadwhenyoulookthatwayYoudon’tthinkmucho’
  me,doyou?’
  ’Thatdependsonhowyoubehave。’
  BessiebehavedbeautifullyOnlyitwasdifficultattheendofasittingtobidhergooutintothegraystreetsSheverymuchpreferredthestudioandabigchairbythestove,withsomesocksinherlapasanexcusefordelayThenTorpenhowwouldcomein,andBessiewouldbemovedtotellstrangeandwonderfulstoriesofherpast,andstillstrangeronesofherpresentimprovedcircumstancesShewouldmakethemteaasthoughshehadarighttomakeit;andonceortwiceontheseoccasionsDickcaughtTorpenhow’seyesfixedonthetrimlittlefigure,andbecauseBessie’’flittingsabouttheroommadeDickardentlylongforMaisie,herealisedwhitherTorpenhow’sthoughtsweretendingAndBessiewasexceedinglycarefuloftheconditionofTorpenhow’slinenShespokeverylittletohim,butsometimestheytalkedtogetheronthelanding。
  ’Iwasagreatfool,’Dicksaidtohimself’Iknowwhatredfirelightlookslikewhenaman’strampingthroughastrangetown;andoursisalonely,selfishsortoflifeatthebestIwonderMaisiedoesn’tfeelthatsometimesButIcan’torderBessieawayThat’stheworstofbeginningthingsOneneverknowswheretheystop。’
  Oneevening,afterasittingprolongedtothelastlimitofthelight,DickwasrousedfromanapbyabrokenvoiceinTorpenhow’sroomHejumpedtohisfeet’NowwhatoughtItodo?Itlooksfoolishtogoin——Oh,blessyou,Binkie!’ThelittleterrierthrustTorpenhow’sdooropenwithhisnoseandcameouttotakepossessionofDick’schairThedoorswungwideunheeded,andDickacrossthelandingcouldseeBessieinthehalf-lightmakingherlittlesupplicationtoTorpenhowShewaskneelingbyhisside,andherhandswereclaspedacrosshisknee。
  ’Iknow,——Iknow,’shesaidthickly’’Tisn’trighto’metodothis,butI
  can’thelpit;andyouweresokind,——sokind;andyounevertookanynoticeo’meAndI’vemendedallyourthingssocarefully,——Idid。
  Oh,please,’tisn’tasifIwasaskingyoutomarrymeIwouldn’tthinkofit。
  Butyou——couldn’tyoutakeandlivewithmetillMissRightcomesalong?
  I’monlyMissWrong,Iknow,butI’dworkmyhandstothebareboneforyouAndI’mnotuglytolookatSayyouwill!’
  DickhardlyrecognisedTorpenhow’svoiceinreply——
  ’ButlookhereIt’snouseI’mliabletobeorderedoffanywhereataminute’snoticeifawarbreaksoutAtaminute’snotice——dear。’
  ’Whatdoesthatmatter?Untilyougo,thenUntilyougo’Tisn’tmuchI’masking,and——youdon’tknowhowgoodIcancook。’Shehadputanarmroundhisneckandwasdrawinghisheaddown。
  ’Until——I——go,then。’
  ’Torp,’saidDick,acrossthelandingHecouldhardlysteadyhisvoice。
  ’Comehereaminute,oldmanI’mintrouble’——’Heavensendhe’lllistentome!’TherewassomethingverylikeanoathfromBessie’slips。
  ShewasafraidofDick,anddisappeareddownthestaircaseinpanic,butitseemedanagebeforeTorpenhowenteredthestudioHewenttothemantelpiece,buriedhisheadonhisarms,andgroanedlikeawoundedbull。
  ’Whatthedevilrighthaveyoutointerfere?’hesaid,atlast。
  ’Who’sinterferingwithwhich?Yourownsensetoldyoulongagoyoucouldn’tbesuchafoolItwasatoughrack,StAnthony,butyou’reallrightnow。’
  ’Ioughtn’ttohaveseenhermovingabouttheseroomsasiftheybelongedtoherThat’swhatupsetmeItgivesalonelymanasortofhankering,doesn’tit?’saidTorpenhow,piteously。
  ’NowyoutalksenseItdoesBut,sinceyouaren’tinaconditiontodiscussthedisadvantagesofdoublehousekeeping,doyouknowwhatyou’regoingtodo?’
  ’Idon’tIwishIdid。’
  ’You’regoingawayforaseasononabrillianttourtoregaintone。
  You’regoingtoBrighton,orScarborough,orPrawlePoint,toseetheshipsgobyAndyou’regoingatonceIsn’titodd?I’lltakecareofBinkie,butoutyougoimmediatelyNeverresistthedevilHeholdsthebankFlyfromhimPackyourthingsandgo。’
  ’Ibelieveyou’rerightWhereshallIgo?’
  ’Andyoucallyourselfaspecialcorrespondent!Packfirstandinquireafterwards。’
  AnhourlaterTorpenhowwasdespatchedintothenightforahansom。
  ’You’llprobablythinkofsomeplacetogotowhileyou’removing,’
  saidDick’OntoEuston,tobeginwith,and——ohyes——getdrunkto-night。’
  Hereturnedtothestudio,andlightedmorecandles,forhefoundtheroomverydark。
  ’Oh,youJezebel!youfutilelittleJezebel!Won’tyouhatemeto-morrow!——Binkie,comehere。’
  Binkieturnedoveronhisbackonthehearth-rug,andDickstirredhimwithameditativefoot。
  ’IsaidshewasnotimmoralIwaswrongShesaidshecouldcook。
  ThatshowedpremeditatedsinOh,Binkie,ifyouareamanyouwillgotoperdition;butifyouareawoman,andsaythatyoucancook,youwillgotoamuchworseplace。’
  CHAPTERX
  What’syouthatfollowsatmyside?——
  Thefoethatyemustfight,mylord——
  ThathirplesswiftasIcanride?——
  Theshadowofthenight,mylord——
  Thenwheelmyhorseagainstthefoe!——
  He’sdownandoverpast,mylord。
  Yewaragainstthesunsetglow;
  Thedarknessgathersfast,mylord——
  TheFightofHeriot’sFord-
  ’THISisacheerfullife,’saidDick,somedayslater’Torp’saway;
  Bessiehatesme;Ican’tgetatthenotionoftheMelancolia;Maisie’slettersarescrappy;andIbelieveIhaveindigestionWhatgiveamanpainsacrosstheheadandspotsbeforehiseyes,Binkie?Shallustakesomeliverpills?’
  DickhadjustgonethroughalivelyscenewithBessieShehadforthefiftiethtimereproachedhimforsendingTorpenhowawaySheexplainedherenduringhatredforDick,andmadeitcleartohimthatsheonlysatforthesakeofhismoney’AndMrTorpenhow’stentimesabettermanthanyou,’sheconcluded。
  ’HeisThat’swhyhewentawayIshouldhavestayedandmadelovetoyou。’
  Thegirlsatwithherchinonherhand,scowling’Tome!I’dliketocatchyou!IfIwasn’tafraido’beinghungI’dkillyouThat’swhatI’ddo。
  D’youbelieveme?’
  DicksmiledwearilyItisnotpleasanttoliveinthecompanyofanotionthatwillnotworkout,afox-terrierthatcannottalk,andawomanwhotalkstoomuchHewouldhaveanswered,butatthatmomentthereunrolleditselffromonecornerofthestudioaveil,asitwere,oftheflimsiestgauzeHerubbedhiseyes,butthegrayhazewouldnotgo。
  ’ThisisdisgracefulindigestionBinkie,wewillgotoamedicine-manWecan’thaveoureyesinterferedwith,forbythesewegetourbread;
  alsomutton-chopbonesforlittledogs。’
  Thedoctorwasanaffablelocalpractitionerwithwhitehair,andhesaidnothingtillDickbegantodescribethegrayfilminthestudio。
  ’Weallwantalittlepatchingandrepairingfromtimetotime,’hechirped’Likeaship,mydearsir,——exactlylikeashipSometimesthehullisoutoforder,andweconsultthesurgeon;sometimestherigging,andthenIadvise;sometimestheengines,andwegotothebrain-specialist;
  sometimesthelook-outonthebridgeistired,andthenweseeanoculistI
  shouldrecommendyoutoseeanoculistAlittlepatchingandrepairingfromtimetotimeisallwewantAnoculist,byallmeans。’
  Dicksoughtanoculist,——thebestinLondonHewascertainthatthelocalpractitionerdidnotknowanythingabouthistrade,andmorecertainthatMaisiewouldlaughathimifhewereforcedtowearspectacles。
  ’I’veneglectedthewarningsofmylordthestomachtoolong。
  Hencethesespotsbeforetheeyes,BinkieIcanseeaswellasIevercould。’
  Asheenteredthedarkhallthatledtotheconsulting-roomamancannonedagainsthimDicksawthefaceasithurriedoutintothestreet。
  ’That’sthewriter-typeHehasthesamemodellingoftheforeheadasTorpHelooksverysickProbablyheardsomethinghedidn’tlike。’
  Evenashethought,agreatfearcameuponDick,afearthatmadehimholdhisbreathashewalkedintotheoculist’swaitingroom,withtheheavycarvedfurniture,thedark-greenpaper,andthesober-huedprintsonthewallHerecognisedareproductionofoneofhisownsketches。
  ManypeoplewerewaitingtheirturnbeforehimHiseyewascaughtbyaflamingred-and-goldChristmas-carolbookLittlechildrencametothateye-doctor,andtheyneededlarge-typeamusement。
  ’That’sidolatrousbadArt,’hesaid,drawingthebooktowardshimself。
  ’Fromtheanatomyoftheangels,ithasbeenmadeinGermany。’Heopenedinmechanically,andthereleapedtohiseyesaverseprintedinredink——
  ThenextgoodjoythatMaryhad,Itwasthejoyofthree,ToseehergoodSonJesusChristMakingtheblindtosee;
  Makingtheblindtosee,goodLord,Andhappywemaybe。
  PraiseFather,Son,andHolyGhostToalleternity!
  Dickreadandre-readtheversetillhisturncame,andthedoctorwasbendingabovehimseatedinanarm-chairTheblazeofthegas-microscopeinhiseyesmadehimwinceThedoctor’shandtouchedthescarofthesword-cutonDick’shead,andDickexplainedbrieflyhowhehadcomebyitWhentheflamewasremoved,Dicksawthedoctor’sface,andthefearcameuponhimagainThedoctorwrappedhimselfinamistofwordsDickcaughtallusionsto’scar,’’frontalbone,’’opticnerve,’’extremecaution,’andthe’avoidanceofmentalanxiety。’
  ’Verdict?’hesaidfaintly’Mybusinessispainting,andIdaren’twastetimeWhatdoyoumakeofit?’
  Againthewhirlofwords,butthistimetheyconveyedameaning。
  ’Canyougivemeanythingtodrink?’
  Manysentenceswerepronouncedinthatdarkenedroom,andtheprisonersoftenneededcheeringDickfoundaglassofliqueurbrandyinhishand。
  ’AsfarasIcangather,’hesaid,coughingabovethespirit,’youcallitdecayoftheopticnerve,orsomething,andthereforehopeless。
  Whatismytime-limit,avoidingallstrainandworry?’
  ’Perhapsoneyear。’
  ’MyGod!AndifIdon’ttakecareofmyself?’
  ’IreallycouldnotsayOnecannotascertaintheexactamountofinjuryinflictedbythesword-cutThescarisanoldone,and——exposuretothestronglightofthedesert,didyousay?——withexcessiveapplicationtofinework?Ireallycouldnotsay?’
  ’Ibegyourpardon,butithascomewithoutanywarningIfyouwillletme,I’llsithereforaminute,andthenI’llgoYouhavebeenverygoodintellingmethetruthWithoutanywarning;withoutanywarning。
  Thanks。’
  Dickwentintothestreet,andwasrapturouslyreceivedbyBinkie。
  ’We’vegotitverybadly,littledog!Justasbadlyaswecangetit。
  We’llgototheParktothinkitout。’
  TheyheadedforacertaintreethatDickknewwell,andtheysatdowntothin,becausehislegsweretremblingunderhimandtherewascoldfearatthepitofhisstomach。
  ’Howcouldithavecomewithoutanywarning?It’sassuddenasbeingshotIt’sthelivingdeath,BinkieWe’retobeshutupinthedarkinoneyearifwe’recareful,andweshan’tseeanybody,andweshallneverhaveanythingwewant,notthoughwelivetobeahundred!’Binkiewaggedhistailjoyously’Binkie,wemustthinkLet’sseehowitfeelstobeblind。’Dickshuthiseyes,andflamingcommasandCatherine-wheelsfloatedinsidethelidsYetwhenhelookedacrosstheParkthescopeofhisvisionwasnotcontractedHecouldseeperfectly,untilaprocessionofslow-wheelingfireworksdefiledacrosshiseyeballs。
  ’Littledorglums,wearen’tatallwellLet’sgohomeIfonlyTorpwereback,now!’