’Binks,isthatatruebill?’saidTorpenhow,severelyThelittledogretreatedunderthesofacushion,andshowedbythefatwhitebackofhimthathereallyhadnofurtherinterestinthediscussion。
’Strikesmethatanotherdisreputabledogwentforawalk,too,’saidtheNilghai’Whatmadeyougetupsoearly?Torpsaidyoumightbebuyingahorse。’
’Heknowsitwouldneedthreeofusforaseriousbusinesslikethat。
No,I
feltlonesomeandunhappy,soIwentouttolookatthesea,andwatchtheprettyshipsgoby。’
’Wheredidyougo?’
’SomewhereontheChannelProglyorSnigly,orsomewatering-placewasitsname;I’veforgotten;butitwasonlytwohours’runfromLondonandtheshipswentby。’
’Didyouseeanythingyouknew?’
’OnlytheBarralongoutwardstoAustralia,andanOdessagrain-boatloadeddownbytheheadItwasathickday,buttheseasmeltgood。’
’Whereforeputonone’sbesttrouserstoseetheBarralong?’saidTorpenhow,pointing。
’BecauseI’venothingexceptthesethingsandmypaintingduds。
Besides,Iwantedtodohonourtothesea。’
’DidShemakeyoufeelrestless?’askedtheNilghai,keenly。
’CrazyDon’tspeakofitI’msorryIwent。’
TorpenhowandtheNilghaiexchangedalookasDick,stooping,busiedhimselfamongtheformer’sbootsandtrees。
’Thesewilldo,’hesaidatlast;’Ican’tsayIthinkmuchofyourtasteinslippers,butthefit’sthething。’Heslippedhisfeetintoapairofsock-likesambhur-skinfootcoverings,foundalongchair,andlayatlength。
’They’remyownpetpair,’Torpenhowsaid’Iwasjustgoingtoputthemonmyself。’
’AllyourreprehensibleselfishnessJustbecauseyouseemehappyforaminute,youwanttoworrymeandstirmeupFindanotherpair。’
’GoodforyouthatDickcan’twearyourclothes,TorpYoutwolivecommunistically,’saidtheNilghai。
’DickneverhasanythingthatIcanwearHe’sonlyusefultospongeupon。’
’Confoundyou,haveyoubeenrummagingroundamongmyclothes,then?’saidDick’Iputasovereigninthetobacco-jaryesterday。
Howdoyouexpectamantokeephisaccountsproperlyifyou——’
HeretheNilghaibegantolaugh,andTorpenhowjoinedhim。
’Hidasovereignyesterday!You’renosortoffinancierYoulentmeafiveraboutamonthbackDoyouremember?’Torpenhowsaid。
’Yes,ofcourse。’
’DoyourememberthatIpaidityoutendayslater,andyouputitatthebottomofthetobacco?’
’ByJove,didI?Ithoughtitwasinoneofmycolour-boxes。’
’Youthought!AboutaweekagoIwentintoyourstudiotogetsome’baccyandfoundit。’
’Whatdidyoudowithit?’
’TooktheNilghaitoatheatreandfedhim。’
’Youcouldn’tfeedtheNilghaiundertwicethemoney——notthoughyougavehimArmybeefWell,IsupposeIshouldhavefounditoutsoonerorlaterWhatistheretolaughat?’
’You’reamostamazingcuckooinmanydirections,’saidtheNilghai,stillchucklingoverthethoughtofthedinner’NevermindWehadbothbeenworkingveryhard,anditwasyourunearnedincrementwespent,andasyou’reonlyaloaferitdidn’tmatter。’
’That’spleasant——fromthemanwhoisburstingwithmymeat,too。
I’llgetthatdinnerbackoneofthesedaysSupposewegotoatheatrenow。’
’Putourbootson,——anddress,——andwash?’TheNilghaispokeverylazily。
’Iwithdrawthemotion。’
’Suppose,justforachange——asastartlingvariety,youknow——we,thatistosaywe,getourcharcoalandourcanvasandgoonwithourwork。’
Torpenhowspokepointedly,butDickonlywriggledhistoesinsidethesoftleathermoccasins。
’Whataone-ideaedcluckerthatis!IfIhadanyunfinishedfiguresonhand,Ihaven’tanymodel;ifIhadmymodel,Ihaven’tanyspray,andI
neverleavecharcoalunfixedovernight;andifIhadmysprayandtwentyphotographsofbackgrounds,Icouldn’tdoanythingto-nightI
don’tfeelthatway。’
’Binkie-dog,he’salazyhog,isn’the?’saidtheNilghai。
’Verygood,Iwilldosomework,’saidDick,risingswiftly’I’llfetchtheNungapungaBook,andwe’lladdanotherpicturetotheNilghaiSaga。’
’Aren’tyouworryinghimalittletoomuch?’askedtheNilghai,whenDickhadlefttheroom。
’Perhaps,butIknowwhathecanturnoutifhelikesItmakesmesavagetohearhimpraisedforpastworkwhenIknowwhatheoughttodoYouandIarearrangedfor——’
’ByKismetandourownpowers,more’sthepityIhavedreamedofagooddeal。’
’SohaveI,butweknowourlimitationsnowI’mdashedifIknowwhatDick’smaybewhenhegiveshimselftohisworkThat’swhatmakesmesokeenabouthim。’
’Andwhenall’ssaidanddone,youwillbeputaside——quiterightly——forafemalegirl。’
’IwonderWheredoyouthinkhehasbeento-day?’
’TotheseaDidn’tyouseethelookinhiseyeswhenhetalkedabouther?
He’sasrestlessasaswallowinautumn。’
’Yes;butdidhegoalone?’
’Idon’tknow,andIdon’tcare,buthehasthebeginningsofthego-feveruponhimHewantstoup-stakesandmoveoutThere’snomistakingthesignsWhateverhemayhavesaidbefore,hehasthecalluponhimnow。’
’Itmightbehissalvation,’Torpenhowsaid。
’Perhaps——ifyoucaretotaketheresponsibilityofbeingasaviour。’
Dickreturnedwiththebigclaspedsketch-bookthattheNilghaiknewwellanddidnotlovetoomuchInitDickhaddrawnallmannerofmovingincidents,experiencedbyhimselforrelatedtohimbytheothers,ofallthefourcornersoftheearthButthewiderrangeoftheNilghai’sbodyandlifeattractedhimmostWhentruthfailedhefellbackonfictionofthewildest,andrepresentedincidentsintheNilghai’scareerthatwereunseemly,——hismarriageswithmanyAfricanprincesses,hisshamelessbetrayal,forArabwives,ofanarmycorpstotheMahdi,histattoomentbyskilledoperatorsinBurmah,hisinterviewandhisfears
withtheyellowheadsmanintheblood-stainedexecution-groundofCanton,andfinally,thepassingsofhisspiritintothebodiesofwhales,elephants,andtoucansTorpenhowfromtimetotimehadaddedrhymeddescriptions,andthewholewasacuriouspieceofart,becauseDickdecided,havingregardtothenameofthebookwhichbeinginterpretedmeans’naked,’thatitwouldbewrongtodrawtheNilghaiwithanyclotheson,underanycircumstancesConsequentlythelastsketch,representingthatmuch-enduringmancallingontheWarOfficetopresshisclaimstotheEgyptianmedal,washardlydelicateHesettledhimselfcomfortablyonTorpenhow’stableandturnedoverthepages。
’WhatafortuneyouwouldhavebeentoBlake,Nilghai!’hesaid。
’There’sasucculentpinknessaboutsomeofthesesketchesthat’smorethanlife-like“TheNilghaisurroundedwhilebathingbytheMahdieh“——thatwasfoundedonfact,eh?’
’Itwasverynearlymylastbath,youirreverentdauberHasBinkiecomeintotheSagayet?’
’No;theBinkie-boyhasn’tdoneanythingexcepteatandkillcats。
Let’sseeHereyouareasastained-glasssaintinachurchDeuceddecorativelinesaboutyouranatomy;yououghttobegratefulforbeinghandeddowntoposterityinthiswayFiftyyearshenceyou’llexistinrareandcuriousfacsimilesattenguineaseachWhatshallItrythistime?
ThedomesticlifeoftheNilghai?’
’Hasn’tgotany。’
’TheundomesticlifeoftheNilghai,thenOfcourseMass-meetingofhiswivesinTrafalgarSquareThat’sitTheycamefromtheendsoftheearthtoattendNilghai’sweddingtoanEnglishbrideThisshallbeanepicIt’sasweetmaterialtoworkwith。’
’It’sascandalouswasteoftime,’saidTorpenhow。
’Don’tworry;itkeepsone’shandin——speciallywhenyoubeginwithoutthepencil。’Hesettoworkrapidly’That’sNelson’sColumn。
PresentlytheNilghaiwillappearshinningupit。’
’Givehimsomeclothesthistime。’
’Certainly——aveilandanorange-wreath,becausehe’sbeenmarried。’
’Gad,that’scleverenough!’saidTorpenhowoverhisshoulder,asDickbroughtoutofthepaperwiththreetwirlsofthebrushaveryfatbackandlabouringshoulderpressedagainststone。
’Justimagine,’Dickcontinued,’ifwecouldpublishafewofthesedearlittlethingseverytimetheNilghaisubsidisesamanwhocanwrite,togivethepublicanhonestopinionofmypictures。’
’Well,you’lladmitIalwaystellyouwhenIhavedoneanythingofthatkindIknowIcan’thammeryouasyououghttobehammered,soI
givethejobtoanotherYoungMaclagan,forinstance——’
’No-o——onehalf-minute,oldman;stickyourhandoutagainstthedarkofthewall-paper——youonlyburbleandcallmenamesThatleftshoulder’soutofdrawingImustliterallythrowaveiloverthatWhere’smypen-knife?Well,whataboutMaclagan?’
’Ionlygavehimhisriding-ordersto——tolambastyouongeneralprinciplesfornotproducingworkthatwilllast。’
’Whereuponthatyoungfool,’——Dickthrewbackhisheadandshutoneeyeasheshiftedthepageunderhishand,——’beingleftalonewithanink-potandwhatheconceivedwerehisownnotions,wentandspiltthembothovermeinthepapersYoumighthaveengagedagrownmanforthebusiness,NilghaiHowdoyouthinkthebridalveillooksnow,Torp?’
’Howthedeucedothreedabsandtwoscratchesmakethestuffstandawayfromthebodyasitdoes?’saidTorpenhow,towhomDick’smethodswerealwaysnew。
’Itjustdependsonwhereyouput’emIfMaclaganhadknowthatmuchabouthisbusinesshemighthavedonebetter。’
’Whydon’tyouputthedamneddabsintosomethingthatwillstay,then?’
insistedtheNilghai,whohadreallytakenconsiderabletroubleinhiringforDick’sbenefitthepenofayounggentlemanwhodevotedmostofhiswakinghourstoananxiousconsiderationoftheaimsandendsofArt,which,hewrote,wasoneandindivisible。
’WaitaminutetillIseehowIamgoingtomanagemyprocessionofwivesYouseemtohavemarriedextensively,andImustrough’eminwiththepencil——Medes,Parthians,EdomitesNow,settingasidetheweaknessandthewickednessand——andthefat-headednessofdeliberatelytryingtodoworkthatwilllive,astheycallit,I’mcontentwiththeknowledgethatI’vedonemybestuptodate,andIshan’tdoanythinglikeitagainforsomehoursatleast——probablyyearsMostprobablynever。’
’What!anystuffyouhaveinstockyourbestwork?’saidTorpenhow。
’Anythingyou’vesold?’saidtheNilghai。
’OhnoItisn’thereanditisn’tsoldBetterthanthat,itcan’tbesold,andIdon’tthinkanyoneknowswhereitisI’msureIdon’tAndyetmoreandmorewives,onthenorthsideofthesquareObservethevirtuoushorrorofthelions!’
’Youmayaswellexplain,’saidTorpenhow,andDickliftedhisheadfromthepaper。
’Thesearemindedmeofit,’hesaidslowly’Iwishithadn’tItweighssomefewthousandtons——unlessyoucutitoutwithacoldchisel。’
’Don’tbeanidiotYoucan’tposewithushere,’saidtheNilghai。
’There’snoposeinthematteratallIt’safactIwasloafingfromLimatoAucklandinabig,old,condemnedpassenger-shipturnedintoacargo-boatandownedbyasecond-hadItalianfirmShewasacrazybasketWewerecutdowntofifteentonofcoaladay,andwethoughtourselvesluckywhenwekickedsevenknotsanhouroutofher。
Thenweusedtostopandletthebearingscooldown,andwonderwhetherthecrackintheshaftwasspreading。’
’Wereyouastewardorastokerinthosedays?’
’Iwasflushforthetimebeing,soIwasapassenger,orelseI
shouldhavebeenasteward,Ithink,’saidDick,withperfectgravity,returningtotheprocessionofangrywives’IwastheonlyotherpassengerfromLima,andtheshipwashalfempty,andfullofratsandcockroachesandscorpions。’