首页 >出版文学> The Way of All Flesh>第58章
  “Oh,yourpore,porema!”saidEllen。“Shewasalwayssoveryfondofyou,MasterErnest:youwasalwaysherfavourite;Ican’tabeartothinkofanythingbetweenyouandher。Tothinknowofthewaysheusedtohavemeintothedining-roomandteachmemycatechism,thatshedid!Oh,MasterErnest,youreallymustgoandmakeitallupwithher;indeedyoumust。”
  Ernestfeltrueful,buthehadresistedsovaliantlyalreadythatthedevilmighthavesavedhimselfthetroubleoftryingtogetathimthroughElleninthematterofhisfatherandmother。Hechangedthesubject,andthepairwarmedtooneanotherastheyhadtheirtripeandpotsofbeer。OfallpeopleintheworldEllenwasperhapstheonetowhomErnestcouldhavespokenmostfreelyatthisjuncture。Hetoldherwhathethoughthecouldhavetoldtonooneelse。
  “Youknow,Ellen。”heconcluded,“IhadlearntasaboythingsthatIoughtnottohavelearnt,andhadneverhadachanceofthatwhichwouldhavesetmestraight。”
  “Gentlefolksisalwayslikethat。”saidEllenmusingly。
  “Ibelieveyouareright,butIamnolongeragentleman,Ellen,andIdon’tseewhyIshouldbe’likethat’anylonger,mydear。Iwantyoutohelpmetobelikesomethingelseassoonaspossible。”
  “Lor’!MasterErnest,whatevercanyoubemeaning?”
  Thepairsoonafterwardslefttheeating-houseandwalkedupFetterLanetogether。
  EllenhadhadhardtimessinceshehadleftBattersby,buttheyhadleftlittletraceuponher。
  Ernestsawonlythefresh-lookingsmilingface,thedimpledcheek,theclearblueeyesandlovelysphinx-likelipswhichhehadrememberedasaboy。Atnineteenshehadlookedolderthanshewas,nowshelookedmuchyounger;indeedshelookedhardlyolderthanwhenErnesthadlastseenher,anditwouldhavetakenamanofmuchgreaterexperiencethanhepossessedtosuspecthowcompletelyshehadfallenfromherfirstestate。Itneveroccurredtohimthatthepoorconditionofherwardrobewasduetoherpassionforardentspirits,andthatfirstandlastshehadservedfiveorsixtimesasmuchtimeingaolashehad。Heascribedthepovertyofherattiretotheattemptstokeepherselfrespectable,whichEllenduringsupperhadmorethanoncealludedto。Hehadbeencharmedwiththewayinwhichshehaddeclaredthatapintofbeerwouldmakehertipsy,andhadonlyallowedherselftobeforcedintodrinkingthewholeafteragooddealofremonstrance。Tohimsheappearedaveryangeldroppedfromthesky,andallthemoreeasytogetonwithforbeingafallenone。
  AshewalkedupFetterLanewithhertowardsLaystallStreet,hethoughtofthewonderfulgoodnessofGodtowardshiminthrowinginhiswaytheverypersonofallotherswhomhewasmostgladtosee,andwhom,ofallothers,inspiteofherlivingsonearhim,hemighthaveneverfalleninwithbutforahappyaccident。
  WhenpeoplegetitintotheirheadsthattheyarebeingspeciallyfavouredbytheAlmighty,theyhadbetterasageneralrulemindtheirp’sandq’s,andwhentheythinktheyseethedevil’sdriftwithmorespecialclearness,letthemrememberthathehashadmuchmoreexperiencethantheyhave,andisprobablymeditatingmischief。
  AlreadyduringsupperthethoughtthatinEllenatlasthehadfoundawomanwhomhecouldlovewellenoughtowishtolivewithandmarryhadflittedacrosshismind,andthemoretheyhadchattedthemorereasonskeptsuggestingthemselvesforthinkingthatwhatmightbefollyinordinarycaseswouldnotbefollyinhis。
  Hemustmarrysomeone;thatwasalreadysettled。Hecouldnotmarryalady;thatwasabsurd。Hemustmarryapoorwoman。Yes,butafallenone?Washenotfallenhimself?Ellenwouldfallnomore。
  Hehadonlytolookathertobesureofthis。Hecouldnotlivewithherinsin,notformorethantheshortesttimethatcouldelapsebeforetheirmarriage;henolongerbelievedinthesupernaturalelementofChristianity,buttheChristianmoralityatanyratewasindisputable。Besides,theymighthavechildren,andastigmawouldrestuponthem。Whomhadhetoconsultbuthimselfnow?Hisfatherandmotherneverneedknow,andeveniftheydid,theyshouldbethankfultoseehimmarriedtoanywomanwhowouldmakehimhappyasEllenwould。Asfornotbeingabletoaffordmarriage,howdidpoorpeopledo?Didnotagoodwiferatherhelpmattersthannot?Whereonecouldlivetwocoulddoso,andifEllenwasthreeorfouryearsolderthanhewas——well,whatwasthat?
  Haveyou,gentlereader,everlovedatfirstsight?Whenyoufellinloveatfirstsight,howlong,letmeask,didittakeyoutobecomereadytoflingeveryotherconsiderationtothewindsexceptthatofobtainingpossessionofthelovedone?Orrather,howlongwouldithavetakenyouifyouhadhadnofatherormother,nothingtoloseinthewayofmoney,position,friends,professionaladvancement,orwhatnot,andiftheobjectofyouraffectionswasasfreefromalltheseimpedimentaasyouwereyourself?
  IfyouwereayoungJohnStuartMill,perhapsitwouldhavetakenyousometime,butsupposeyournaturewasQuixotic,impulsive,altruistic,guileless;supposeyouwereahungrymanstarvingforsomethingtoloveandleanupon,foronewhoseburdensyoumightbear,andwhomighthelpyoutobearyours。Supposeyouweredownonyourluck,stillstunnedbyahorribleshock,andthisbrightvistaofahappyfuturefloatedsuddenlybeforeyou,howlongunderthesecircumstancesdoyouthinkyouwouldreflectbeforeyouwoulddecideonembracingwhatchancehadthrowninyourway?
  Itdidnottakemyherolong,forbeforehegotpastthehamandbeefshopnearthetopofFetterLane,hehadtoldEllenthatshemustcomehomewithhimandlivewithhimtilltheycouldgetmarried,whichtheywoulddouponthefirstdaythatthelawallowed。
  Ithinkthedevilmusthavechuckledandmadetolerablysureofhisgamethistime。
  ErnesttoldEllenofhisdifficultyaboutfindingemployment。
  “Butwhatdoyouthinkofgoingintoashopfor,mydear。”saidEllen。“Whynottakealittleshopyourself?”
  Ernestaskedhowmuchthiswouldcost。Ellentoldhimthathemighttakeahouseinsomesmallstreet,saynearthe“ElephantandCastle。”for17s。or18s。aweek,andletoffthetwotopfloorsfor10s。,keepingthebackparlourandshopforthemselves。Ifhecouldraisefiveorsixpoundstobuysomesecond-handclothestostocktheshopwith,theycouldmendthemandcleanthem,andshecouldlookafterthewomen’sclotheswhilehedidthemen’s。Thenhecouldmendandmake,ifhecouldgettheorders。
  Theycouldsoonmakeabusinessof2poundsaweekinthisway;shehadafriendwhobeganlikethatandhadnowmovedtoabettershop,whereshemade5poundsor6poundsaweekatleast——andshe,Ellen,haddonethegreaterpartofthebuyingandsellingherself。
  Herewasanewlightindeed。Itwasasthoughhehadgothis5000
  poundsbackagainallofasudden,andperhapseversomuchmorelateronintothebargain。Ellenseemedmorethanevertobehisgoodgenius。
  Shewentoutandgotafewrashersofbaconforhisandherbreakfast。Shecookedthemmuchmorenicelythanhehadbeenabletodo,andlaidbreakfastforhimandmadecoffee,andsomenicebrowntoast。Ernesthadbeenhisowncookandhousemaidforthelastfewdaysandhadnotgivenhimselfsatisfaction。Herehesuddenlyfoundhimselfwithsomeonetowaitonhimagain。NotonlyhadEllenpointedouttohimhowhecouldearnalivingwhennooneexcepthimselfhadknownhowtoadvisehim,buthereshewassoprettyandsmiling,lookingafterevenhiscomforts,andrestoringhimpracticallyinallrespectsthathemuchcaredabouttothepositionwhichhehadlost——orratherputtinghiminonethathealreadylikedmuchbetter。Nowonderhewasradiantwhenhecametoexplainhisplanstome。
  Hehadsomedifficultyintellingallthathadhappened。Hehesitated,blushed,hummedandhawed。Misgivingsbegantocrosshismindwhenhefoundhimselfobligedtotellhisstorytosomeoneelse。Hefeltinclinedtoslurthingsover,butIwantedtogetatthefacts,soIhelpedhimoverthebadplaces,andquestionedhimtillIhadgotoutprettynearlythewholestoryasIhavegivenitabove。
  IhopeIdidnotshowit,butIwasveryangry。IhadbeguntolikeErnest。Idon’tknowwhy,butIneverhaveheardthatanyyoungmantowhomIhadbecomeattachedwasgoingtogetmarriedwithouthatinghisintendedinstinctively,thoughIhadneverseenher;I
  haveobservedthatmostbachelorsfeelthesamething,thoughwearegenerallyatsomepainstohidethefact。Perhapsitisbecauseweknowweoughttohavegotmarriedourselves。Ordinarilywesaywearedelighted——inthepresentcaseIdidnotfeelobligedtodothis,thoughImadeanefforttoconcealmyvexation。Thatayoungmanofmuchpromisewhowasheiralsotowhatwasnowahandsomefortune,shouldflinghimselfawayuponsuchapersonasEllenwasquitetooprovoking,andthemoresobecauseoftheunexpectednessofthewholeaffair。
  IbeggedhimnottomarryEllenyet——notatleastuntilhehadknownherforalongertime。Hewouldnothearofit;hehadgivenhisword,andifhehadnotgivenitheshouldgoandgiveitatonce。
  Ihadhithertofoundhimuponmostmatterssingularlydocileandeasytomanage,butonthispointIcoulddonothingwithhim。Hisrecentvictoryoverhisfatherandmotherhadincreasedhisstrength,andIwasnowhere。Iwouldhavetoldhimofhistrueposition,butIknewverywellthatthiswouldonlymakehimmorebentonhavinghisownway——forwithsomuchmoneywhyshouldhenotpleasehimself?Isaidnothing,therefore,onthishead,andyetallthatIcouldurgewentforverylittlewithonewhobelievedhimselftobeanartisanornothing。