“Oh,yourpore,porema!”saidEllen。“Shewasalwayssoveryfondofyou,MasterErnest:youwasalwaysherfavourite;Ican’tabeartothinkofanythingbetweenyouandher。Tothinknowofthewaysheusedtohavemeintothedining-roomandteachmemycatechism,thatshedid!Oh,MasterErnest,youreallymustgoandmakeitallupwithher;indeedyoumust。”
Ernestfeltrueful,buthehadresistedsovaliantlyalreadythatthedevilmighthavesavedhimselfthetroubleoftryingtogetathimthroughElleninthematterofhisfatherandmother。Hechangedthesubject,andthepairwarmedtooneanotherastheyhadtheirtripeandpotsofbeer。OfallpeopleintheworldEllenwasperhapstheonetowhomErnestcouldhavespokenmostfreelyatthisjuncture。Hetoldherwhathethoughthecouldhavetoldtonooneelse。
“Youknow,Ellen。”heconcluded,“IhadlearntasaboythingsthatIoughtnottohavelearnt,andhadneverhadachanceofthatwhichwouldhavesetmestraight。”
“Gentlefolksisalwayslikethat。”saidEllenmusingly。
“Ibelieveyouareright,butIamnolongeragentleman,Ellen,andIdon’tseewhyIshouldbe’likethat’anylonger,mydear。Iwantyoutohelpmetobelikesomethingelseassoonaspossible。”
“Lor’!MasterErnest,whatevercanyoubemeaning?”
Thepairsoonafterwardslefttheeating-houseandwalkedupFetterLanetogether。
EllenhadhadhardtimessinceshehadleftBattersby,buttheyhadleftlittletraceuponher。
Ernestsawonlythefresh-lookingsmilingface,thedimpledcheek,theclearblueeyesandlovelysphinx-likelipswhichhehadrememberedasaboy。Atnineteenshehadlookedolderthanshewas,nowshelookedmuchyounger;indeedshelookedhardlyolderthanwhenErnesthadlastseenher,anditwouldhavetakenamanofmuchgreaterexperiencethanhepossessedtosuspecthowcompletelyshehadfallenfromherfirstestate。Itneveroccurredtohimthatthepoorconditionofherwardrobewasduetoherpassionforardentspirits,andthatfirstandlastshehadservedfiveorsixtimesasmuchtimeingaolashehad。Heascribedthepovertyofherattiretotheattemptstokeepherselfrespectable,whichEllenduringsupperhadmorethanoncealludedto。Hehadbeencharmedwiththewayinwhichshehaddeclaredthatapintofbeerwouldmakehertipsy,andhadonlyallowedherselftobeforcedintodrinkingthewholeafteragooddealofremonstrance。Tohimsheappearedaveryangeldroppedfromthesky,andallthemoreeasytogetonwithforbeingafallenone。
AshewalkedupFetterLanewithhertowardsLaystallStreet,hethoughtofthewonderfulgoodnessofGodtowardshiminthrowinginhiswaytheverypersonofallotherswhomhewasmostgladtosee,andwhom,ofallothers,inspiteofherlivingsonearhim,hemighthaveneverfalleninwithbutforahappyaccident。
WhenpeoplegetitintotheirheadsthattheyarebeingspeciallyfavouredbytheAlmighty,theyhadbetterasageneralrulemindtheirp’sandq’s,andwhentheythinktheyseethedevil’sdriftwithmorespecialclearness,letthemrememberthathehashadmuchmoreexperiencethantheyhave,andisprobablymeditatingmischief。
AlreadyduringsupperthethoughtthatinEllenatlasthehadfoundawomanwhomhecouldlovewellenoughtowishtolivewithandmarryhadflittedacrosshismind,andthemoretheyhadchattedthemorereasonskeptsuggestingthemselvesforthinkingthatwhatmightbefollyinordinarycaseswouldnotbefollyinhis。
Hemustmarrysomeone;thatwasalreadysettled。Hecouldnotmarryalady;thatwasabsurd。Hemustmarryapoorwoman。Yes,butafallenone?Washenotfallenhimself?Ellenwouldfallnomore。
Hehadonlytolookathertobesureofthis。Hecouldnotlivewithherinsin,notformorethantheshortesttimethatcouldelapsebeforetheirmarriage;henolongerbelievedinthesupernaturalelementofChristianity,buttheChristianmoralityatanyratewasindisputable。Besides,theymighthavechildren,andastigmawouldrestuponthem。Whomhadhetoconsultbuthimselfnow?Hisfatherandmotherneverneedknow,andeveniftheydid,theyshouldbethankfultoseehimmarriedtoanywomanwhowouldmakehimhappyasEllenwould。Asfornotbeingabletoaffordmarriage,howdidpoorpeopledo?Didnotagoodwiferatherhelpmattersthannot?Whereonecouldlivetwocoulddoso,andifEllenwasthreeorfouryearsolderthanhewas——well,whatwasthat?
Haveyou,gentlereader,everlovedatfirstsight?Whenyoufellinloveatfirstsight,howlong,letmeask,didittakeyoutobecomereadytoflingeveryotherconsiderationtothewindsexceptthatofobtainingpossessionofthelovedone?Orrather,howlongwouldithavetakenyouifyouhadhadnofatherormother,nothingtoloseinthewayofmoney,position,friends,professionaladvancement,orwhatnot,andiftheobjectofyouraffectionswasasfreefromalltheseimpedimentaasyouwereyourself?
IfyouwereayoungJohnStuartMill,perhapsitwouldhavetakenyousometime,butsupposeyournaturewasQuixotic,impulsive,altruistic,guileless;supposeyouwereahungrymanstarvingforsomethingtoloveandleanupon,foronewhoseburdensyoumightbear,andwhomighthelpyoutobearyours。Supposeyouweredownonyourluck,stillstunnedbyahorribleshock,andthisbrightvistaofahappyfuturefloatedsuddenlybeforeyou,howlongunderthesecircumstancesdoyouthinkyouwouldreflectbeforeyouwoulddecideonembracingwhatchancehadthrowninyourway?
Itdidnottakemyherolong,forbeforehegotpastthehamandbeefshopnearthetopofFetterLane,hehadtoldEllenthatshemustcomehomewithhimandlivewithhimtilltheycouldgetmarried,whichtheywoulddouponthefirstdaythatthelawallowed。
Ithinkthedevilmusthavechuckledandmadetolerablysureofhisgamethistime。
ErnesttoldEllenofhisdifficultyaboutfindingemployment。
“Butwhatdoyouthinkofgoingintoashopfor,mydear。”saidEllen。“Whynottakealittleshopyourself?”
Ernestaskedhowmuchthiswouldcost。Ellentoldhimthathemighttakeahouseinsomesmallstreet,saynearthe“ElephantandCastle。”for17s。or18s。aweek,andletoffthetwotopfloorsfor10s。,keepingthebackparlourandshopforthemselves。Ifhecouldraisefiveorsixpoundstobuysomesecond-handclothestostocktheshopwith,theycouldmendthemandcleanthem,andshecouldlookafterthewomen’sclotheswhilehedidthemen’s。Thenhecouldmendandmake,ifhecouldgettheorders。
Theycouldsoonmakeabusinessof2poundsaweekinthisway;shehadafriendwhobeganlikethatandhadnowmovedtoabettershop,whereshemade5poundsor6poundsaweekatleast——andshe,Ellen,haddonethegreaterpartofthebuyingandsellingherself。
Herewasanewlightindeed。Itwasasthoughhehadgothis5000
poundsbackagainallofasudden,andperhapseversomuchmorelateronintothebargain。Ellenseemedmorethanevertobehisgoodgenius。
Shewentoutandgotafewrashersofbaconforhisandherbreakfast。Shecookedthemmuchmorenicelythanhehadbeenabletodo,andlaidbreakfastforhimandmadecoffee,andsomenicebrowntoast。Ernesthadbeenhisowncookandhousemaidforthelastfewdaysandhadnotgivenhimselfsatisfaction。Herehesuddenlyfoundhimselfwithsomeonetowaitonhimagain。NotonlyhadEllenpointedouttohimhowhecouldearnalivingwhennooneexcepthimselfhadknownhowtoadvisehim,buthereshewassoprettyandsmiling,lookingafterevenhiscomforts,andrestoringhimpracticallyinallrespectsthathemuchcaredabouttothepositionwhichhehadlost——orratherputtinghiminonethathealreadylikedmuchbetter。Nowonderhewasradiantwhenhecametoexplainhisplanstome。
Hehadsomedifficultyintellingallthathadhappened。Hehesitated,blushed,hummedandhawed。Misgivingsbegantocrosshismindwhenhefoundhimselfobligedtotellhisstorytosomeoneelse。Hefeltinclinedtoslurthingsover,butIwantedtogetatthefacts,soIhelpedhimoverthebadplaces,andquestionedhimtillIhadgotoutprettynearlythewholestoryasIhavegivenitabove。
IhopeIdidnotshowit,butIwasveryangry。IhadbeguntolikeErnest。Idon’tknowwhy,butIneverhaveheardthatanyyoungmantowhomIhadbecomeattachedwasgoingtogetmarriedwithouthatinghisintendedinstinctively,thoughIhadneverseenher;I
haveobservedthatmostbachelorsfeelthesamething,thoughwearegenerallyatsomepainstohidethefact。Perhapsitisbecauseweknowweoughttohavegotmarriedourselves。Ordinarilywesaywearedelighted——inthepresentcaseIdidnotfeelobligedtodothis,thoughImadeanefforttoconcealmyvexation。Thatayoungmanofmuchpromisewhowasheiralsotowhatwasnowahandsomefortune,shouldflinghimselfawayuponsuchapersonasEllenwasquitetooprovoking,andthemoresobecauseoftheunexpectednessofthewholeaffair。
IbeggedhimnottomarryEllenyet——notatleastuntilhehadknownherforalongertime。Hewouldnothearofit;hehadgivenhisword,andifhehadnotgivenitheshouldgoandgiveitatonce。
Ihadhithertofoundhimuponmostmatterssingularlydocileandeasytomanage,butonthispointIcoulddonothingwithhim。Hisrecentvictoryoverhisfatherandmotherhadincreasedhisstrength,andIwasnowhere。Iwouldhavetoldhimofhistrueposition,butIknewverywellthatthiswouldonlymakehimmorebentonhavinghisownway——forwithsomuchmoneywhyshouldhenotpleasehimself?Isaidnothing,therefore,onthishead,andyetallthatIcouldurgewentforverylittlewithonewhobelievedhimselftobeanartisanornothing。
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