首页 >出版文学> Anne of the Island>第8章
  JohnDouglasSpeaksatLastAnnewasnotwithoutafeeblehopethatsomethingmightcomeofitafterall。Butnothingdid。JohnDouglascameandtookJanetdriving,andwalkedhomefromprayer-meetingwithher,ashehadbeendoingfortwentyyears,andasheseemedlikelytodofortwentyyearsmore。Thesummerwaned。Annetaughtherschoolandwrotelettersandstudiedalittle。Herwalkstoandfromschoolwerepleasant。Shealwayswentbywayoftheswamp;itwasalovelyplace——aboggysoil,greenwiththegreenestofmossyhillocks;asilverybrookmeanderedthroughitandsprucesstooderectly,theirboughsa-trailwithgray-greenmosses,theirrootsovergrownwithallsortsofwoodlandlovelinesses。
  Nevertheless,AnnefoundlifeinValleyRoadalittlemonotonous。
  Tobesure,therewasonedivertingincident。
  Shehadnotseenthelank,tow-headedSamuelofthepeppermintssincetheeveningofhiscall,saveforchancemeetingsontheroad。
  ButonewarmAugustnightheappeared,andsolemnlyseatedhimselfontherusticbenchbytheporch。Heworehisusualworkinghabiliments,consistingofvaripatchedtrousers,abluejeanshirt,outattheelbows,andaraggedstrawhat。HewaschewingastrawandhekeptonchewingitwhilehelookedsolemnlyatAnne。Annelaidherbookasidewithasighandtookupherdoily。ConversationwithSamwasreallyoutofthequestion。
  AfteralongsilenceSamsuddenlyspoke。
  "I’mleavingoverthere,"hesaidabruptly,wavinghisstrawinthedirectionoftheneighboringhouse。
  "Oh,areyou?"saidAnnepolitely。
  "Yep。"
  "Andwhereareyougoingnow?"
  "Wall,I’vebeenthinkingsomeofgittingaplaceofmyown。
  There’sonethat’dsuitmeoveratMillersville。ButefIrentsitI’llwantawoman。"
  "Isupposeso,"saidAnnevaguely。
  "Yep。"
  Therewasanotherlongsilence。FinallySamremovedhisstrawagainandsaid,"Willyehhevme?"
  "Wh——a——t!"gaspedAnne。
  "Willyehhevme?"
  "Doyoumean——MARRYyou?"queriedpoorAnnefeebly。
  "Yep。"
  "Why,I’mhardlyacquaintedwithyou,"criedAnneindignantly。
  "Butyeh’dgitacquaintedwithmeafterwewasmarried,"saidSam。
  Annegatheredupherpoordignity。
  "CertainlyIwon’tmarryyou,"shesaidhaughtily。
  "Wall,yehmightdoworse,"expostulatedSam。"I’magoodworkerandI’vegotsomemoneyinthebank。"
  "Don’tspeakofthistomeagain。Whateverputsuchanideaintoyourhead?"saidAnne,hersenseofhumorgettingthebetterofherwrath。Itwassuchanabsurdsituation。
  "Yeh’realikely-lookinggirlandhevaright-smartwayo’stepping,"
  saidSam。"Idon’twantnolazywoman。Thinkitover。Iwon’tchangemymindyitawhile。Wall,Imustbegitting。Gottermilkthecows。"
  Anne’sillusionsconcerningproposalshadsufferedsomuchoflateyearsthattherewerefewofthemleft。Soshecouldlaughwholeheartedlyoverthisone,notfeelinganysecretsting。ShemimickedpoorSamtoJanetthatnight,andbothofthemlaughedimmoderatelyoverhisplungeintosentiment。
  Oneafternoon,whenAnne’ssojourninValleyRoadwasdrawingtoaclose,AlecWardcamedrivingdownto"Wayside"inhothasteforJanet。
  "TheywantyouattheDouglasplacequick,"hesaid。"IreallybelieveoldMrs。Douglasisgoingtodieatlast,afterpretendingtodoitfortwentyyears。"
  Janetrantogetherhat。AnneaskedifMrs。Douglaswasworsethanusual。
  "She’snothalfasbad,"saidAlecsolemnly,"andthat’swhatmakesmethinkit’sserious。Othertimesshe’dbescreamingandthrowingherselfallovertheplace。Thistimeshe’slyingstillandmum。WhenMrs。Douglasismumsheisprettysick,youbet。"
  "Youdon’tlikeoldMrs。Douglas?"saidAnnecuriously。
  "IlikecatsasIScats。Idon’tlikecatsasiswomen,"wasAlec’scrypticreply。
  Janetcamehomeinthetwilight。
  "Mrs。Douglasisdead,"shesaidwearily。"ShediedsoonafterIgotthere。Shejustspoketomeonce——`Isupposeyou’llmarryJohnnow?’shesaid。Itcutmetotheheart,Anne。
  TothinkJohn’sownmotherthoughtIwouldn’tmarryhimbecauseofher!Icouldn’tsayawordeither——therewereotherwomenthere。IwasthankfulJohnhadgoneout。"
  Janetbegantocrydrearily。ButAnnebrewedherahotdrinkofgingerteatohercomforting。Tobesure,Annediscoveredlateronthatshehadusedwhitepepperinsteadofginger;butJanetneverknewthedifference。
  TheeveningafterthefuneralJanetandAnneweresittingonthefrontporchstepsatsunset。Thewindhadfallenasleepinthepinelandsandluridsheetsofheat-lightningflickeredacrossthenorthernskies。Janetworeheruglyblackdressandlookedherveryworst,hereyesandnoseredfromcrying。Theytalkedlittle,forJanetseemedfaintlytoresentAnne’seffortstocheerherup。Sheplainlypreferredtobemiserable。
  Suddenlythegate-latchclickedandJohnDouglasstrodeintothegarden。Hewalkedtowardsthemstraightoverthegeraniumbed。
  Janetstoodup。SodidAnne。Annewasatallgirlandworeawhitedress;butJohnDouglasdidnotseeher。
  "Janet,"hesaid,"willyoumarryme?"
  ThewordsburstoutasiftheyhadbeenwantingtobesaidfortwentyyearsandMUSTbeutterednow,beforeanythingelse。
  Janet’sfacewassoredfromcryingthatitcouldn’tturnanyredder,soitturnedamostunbecomingpurple。
  "Whydidn’tyouaskmebefore?"shesaidslowly。
  "Icouldn’t。Shemademepromisenotto——mothermademepromisenotto。Nineteenyearsagoshetookaterriblespell。
  Wethoughtshecouldn’tlivethroughit。Sheimploredmetopromisenottoaskyoutomarrymewhileshewasalive。Ididn’twanttopromisesuchathing,eventhoughweallthoughtshecouldn’tliveverylong——thedoctoronlygavehersixmonths。
  Butshebeggeditonherknees,sickandsuffering。Ihadtopromise。"
  "Whathadyourmotheragainstme?"criedJanet。
  "Nothing——nothing。Shejustdidn’twantanotherwoman——ANYwoman——therewhileshewasliving。ShesaidifI
  didn’tpromiseshe’ddierightthereandI’dhavekilledher。
  SoIpromised。Andshe’sheldmetothatpromiseeversince,thoughI’vegoneonmykneestoherinmyturntobeghertoletmeff。"
  "Whydidn’tyoutellmethis?"askedJanetchokingly。
  "IfI’donlyKNOWN!Whydidn’tyoujusttellme?"
  "ShemademepromiseIwouldn’ttellasoul,"saidJohnhoarsely。
  "ShesworemetoitontheBible;Janet,I’dneverhavedoneitifI’ddreameditwastobeforsolong。Janet,you’llneverknowwhatI’vesufferedthesenineteenyears。IknowI’vemadeyousuffer,too,butyou’llmarrymeforall,won’tyou,Janet?
  Oh,Janet,won’tyou?I’vecomeassoonasIcouldtoaskyou。"
  AtthismomentthestupefiedAnnecametohersensesandrealizedthatshehadnobusinesstobethere。SheslippedawayanddidnotseeJanetuntilthenextmorning,whenthelattertoldhertherestofthestory。
  "Thatcruel,relentless,deceitfuloldwoman!"criedAnne。
  "Hush——she’sdead,"saidJanetsolemnly。"Ifshewasn’t——butsheIS。
  Sowemustn’tspeakevilofher。ButI’mhappyatlast,Anne。AndI
  wouldn’thavemindedwaitingsolongabitifI’donlyknownwhy。"
  "Whenareyoutobemarried?"
  "Nextmonth。Ofcourseitwillbeveryquiet。Isupposepeoplewilltalkterrible。They’llsayImadeenoughhastetosnapJohnupassoonashispoormotherwasoutoftheway。JohnwantedtoletthemknowthetruthbutIsaid,`No,John;afterallshewasyourmother,andwe’llkeepthesecretbetweenus,andnotcastanyshadowonhermemory。Idon’tmindwhatpeoplesay,nowthatIknowthetruthmyself。Itdon’tmatteramite。Letitallbeburiedwiththedead’saysItohim。SoIcoaxedhimroundtoagreewithme。"
  "You’remuchmoreforgivingthanIcouldeverbe,"Annesaid,rathercrossly。
  "You’llfeeldifferentlyaboutagoodmanythingswhenyougettobemyage,"saidJanettolerantly。"That’soneofthethingswelearnaswegrowolder——howtoforgive。Itcomeseasieratfortythanitdidattwenty。"
  ChapterXXXV
  TheLastRedmondYearOpens"Hereweare,allbackagain,nicelysunburnedandrejoicingasastrongmantorunarace,"saidPhil,sittingdownonasuitcasewithasighofpleasure。"Isn’titjollytoseethisdearoldPatty’sPlaceagain——andAunty——andthecats?Rustyhaslostanotherpieceofear,hasn’the?"
  "Rustywouldbethenicestcatintheworldifhehadnoearsatall,"
  declaredAnneloyallyfromhertrunk,whileRustywrithedaboutherlapinafrenzyofwelcome。
  "Aren’tyougladtoseeusback,Aunty?"demandedPhil。
  "Yes。ButIwishyou’dtidythingsup,"saidAuntJamesinaplaintively,lookingatthewildernessoftrunksandsuitcasesbywhichthefourlaughing,chatteringgirlsweresurrounded。"Youcantalkjustaswelllateron。WorkfirstandthenplayusedtobemymottowhenIwasagirl。"
  "Oh,we’vejustreversedthatinthisgeneration,Aunty。
  OURmottoisplayyourplayandthendigin。Youcandoyourworksomuchbetterifyou’vehadagoodboutofplayfirst。"
  "Ifyouaregoingtomarryaminister,"saidAuntJamesina,pickingupJosephandherknittingandresigningherselftotheinevitablewiththecharminggracethatmadeherthequeenofhousemothers,"youwillhavetogiveupsuchexpressionsas`digin。’"
  "Why?"moanedPhil。"Oh,whymustaminister’swifebesupposedtoutteronlyprunesandprisms?Ishan’t。EverybodyonPattersonStreetusesslang——thatistosay,metaphoricallanguage——andifIdidn’ttheywouldthinkmeinsufferablyproudandstuckup。"
  "Haveyoubrokenthenewstoyourfamily?"askedPriscilla,feedingtheSarah-catbitsfromherlunchbasket。
  Philnodded。
  "Howdidtheytakeit?"
  "Oh,motherrampaged。ButIstoodrockfirm——evenI,PhilippaGordon,whoneverbeforecouldholdfasttoanything。Fatherwascalmer。
  Father’sowndaddywasaminister,soyouseehehasasoftspotinhisheartforthecloth。IhadJouptoMountHolly,aftermothergrewcalm,andtheybothlovedhim。Butmothergavehimsomefrightfulhintsineveryconversationregardingwhatshehadhopedforme。Oh,myvacationpathwayhasn’tbeenexactlystrewnwithroses,girlsdear。
  But——I’vewonoutandI’vegotJo。Nothingelsematters。"
  "Toyou,"saidAuntJamesinadarkly。
  "NortoJo,either,"retortedPhil。"Youkeeponpityinghim。
  Why,pray?Ithinkhe’stobeenvied。He’sgettingbrains,beauty,andaheartofgoldinME。"
  "It’swellweknowhowtotakeyourspeeches,"saidAuntJamesinapatiently。"Ihopeyoudon’ttalklikethatbeforestrangers。
  Whatwouldtheythink?"
  "Oh,Idon’twanttoknowwhattheythink。Idon’twanttoseemyselfasothersseeme。I’msureitwouldbehorriblyuncomfortablemostofthetime。Idon’tbelieveBurnswasreallysincereinthatprayer,either。"
  "Oh,Idaresayweallprayforsomethingsthatwereallydon’twant,ifwewereonlyhonestenoughtolookintoourhearts,"
  ownedAuntJamesinacandidly。"I’veanotionthatsuchprayersdon’triseveryfar。_I_usedtopraythatImightbeenabledtoforgiveacertainperson,butIknownowIreallydidn’twanttoforgiveher。WhenIfinallygotthatIDIDwanttoIforgaveherwithouthavingtoprayaboutit。"
  "Ican’tpictureyouasbeingunforgivingforlong,"saidStella。
  "Oh,Iusedtobe。Butholdingspitedoesn’tseemworthwhilewhenyougetalonginyears。"
  "Thatremindsme,"saidAnne,andtoldthetaleofJohnandJanet。
  "Andnowtellusaboutthatromanticsceneyouhintedsodarklyatinoneofyourletters,"demandedPhil。
  AnneactedoutSamuel’sproposalwithgreatspirit。ThegirlsshriekedwithlaughterandAuntJamesinasmiled。
  "Itisn’tingoodtastetomakefunofyourbeaux,"shesaidseverely;"but,"sheaddedcalmly,"Ialwaysdiditmyself。"
  "Tellusaboutyourbeaux,Aunty,"entreatedPhil。"Youmusthavehadanynumberofthem。"
  "They’renotinthepasttense,"retortedAuntJamesina。
  "I’vegotthemyet。Therearethreeoldwidowersathomewhohavebeencastingsheep’seyesatmeforsometime。
  Youchildrenneedn’tthinkyouownalltheromanceintheworld。"
  "Widowersandsheep’seyesdon’tsoundveryromantic,Aunty。"
  "Well,no;butyoungfolksaren’talwaysromanticeither。
  Someofmybeauxcertainlyweren’t。Iusedtolaughatthemscandalous,poorboys。TherewasJimElwood——hewasalwaysinasortofday-dream——neverseemedtosensewhatwasgoingon。
  Hedidn’twakeuptothefactthatI’dsaid`no’tillayearafterI’dsaidit。Whenhedidgetmarriedhiswifefelloutofthesleighonenightwhentheyweredrivinghomefromchurchandhenevermissedher。ThentherewasDanWinston。Heknewtoomuch。
  Hekneweverythinginthisworldandmostofwhatisinthenext。
  Hecouldgiveyouananswertoanyquestion,evenifyouaskedhimwhentheJudgmentDaywastobe。MiltonEdwardswasrealniceandIlikedhimbutIdidn’tmarryhim。Foronething,hetookaweektogetajokethroughhishead,andforanotherheneveraskedme。
  HoratioReevewasthemostinterestingbeauIeverhad。Butwhenhetoldastoryhedresseditupsothatyoucouldn’tseeitforfrills。
  Inevercoulddecidewhetherhewaslyingorjustlettinghisimaginationrunloose。"
  "Andwhatabouttheothers,Aunty?"
  "Goawayandunpack,"saidAuntJamesina,wavingJosephatthembymistakeforaneedle。"Theothersweretoonicetomakefunof。
  Ishallrespecttheirmemory。There’saboxofflowersinyourroom,Anne。Theycameaboutanhourago。"
  AfterthefirstweekthegirlsofPatty’sPlacesettleddowntoasteadygrindofstudy;forthiswastheirlastyearatRedmondandgraduationhonorsmustbefoughtforpersistently。AnnedevotedherselftoEnglish,Priscillaporedoverclassics,andPhilippapoundedawayatMathematics。Sometimestheygrewtired,sometimestheyfeltdiscouraged,sometimesnothingseemedworththestruggleforit。InonesuchmoodStellawandereduptotheblueroomonerainyNovemberevening。Annesatonthefloorinalittlecircleoflightcastbythelampbesideher,amidasurroundingsnowofcrumpledmanuscript。
  "Whatintheworldareyoudoing?"
  "JustlookingoversomeoldStoryClubyarns。IwantedsomethingtocheerANDinebriate。I’dstudieduntiltheworldseemedazure。
  SoIcameuphereanddugtheseoutofmytrunk。Theyaresodrenchedintearsandtragedythattheyareexcruciatinglyfunny。"
  "I’mblueanddiscouragedmyself,"saidStella,throwingherselfonthecouch。"Nothingseemsworthwhile。Myverythoughtsareold。I’vethoughtthemallbefore。Whatistheuseoflivingafterall,Anne?"
  "Honey,it’sjustbrainfagthatmakesusfeelthatway,andtheweather。
  Apouringrainynightlikethis,comingafterahardday’sgrind,wouldsquelchanyonebutaMarkTapley。YouknowitISworthwhiletolive。"
  "Oh,Isupposeso。ButIcan’tproveittomyselfjustnow。"
  "Justthinkofallthegreatandnoblesoulswhohavelivedandworkedintheworld,"saidAnnedreamily。"Isn’titworthwhiletocomeafterthemandinheritwhattheywonandtaught?Isn’titworthwhiletothinkwecansharetheirinspiration?Andthen,allthegreatsoulsthatwillcomeinthefuture?Isn’titworthwhiletoworkalittleandpreparethewayforthem——
  makejustonestepintheirpatheasier?"
  "Oh,mymindagreeswithyou,Anne。Butmysoulremainsdolefulanduninspired。I’malwaysgrubbyanddingyonrainynights。"
  "SomenightsIliketherain——Iliketolieinbedandhearitpatteringontheroofanddriftingthroughthepines。"
  "Ilikeitwhenitstaysontheroof,"saidStella。"Itdoesn’talways。Ispentagruesomenightinanoldcountryfarmhouselastsummer。Theroofleakedandtheraincamepatteringdownonmybed。TherewasnopoetryinTHAT。Ihadtogetupinthe`mirkmidnight’andchivyroundtopullthebedsteadoutofthedrip——anditwasoneofthosesolid,old-fashionedbedsthatweighaton——moreorless。Andthenthatdrip-drop,drip-dropkeptupallnightuntilmynervesjustwenttopieces。You’venoideawhataneerienoiseagreatdropofrainfallingwithamushythudonabarefloormakesinthenight。Itsoundslikeghostlyfootstepsandallthatsortofthing。Whatareyoulaughingover,Anne?"
  "Thesestories。AsPhilwouldsaytheyarekilling——inmoresensesthanone,foreverybodydiedinthem。Whatdazzlinglylovelyheroineswehad——andhowwedressedthem!Silks——satins——velvets——jewels——laces——theyneverworeanythingelse。HereisoneofJaneAndrews’
  storiesdepictingherheroineassleepinginabeautifulwhitesatinnightdresstrimmedwithseedpearls。"
  "Goon,"saidStella。"Ibegintofeelthatlifeisworthlivingaslongasthere’salaughinit。"
  "Here’soneIwrote。Myheroineisdisportingherselfataball`glitteringfromheadtofootwithlargediamondsofthefirstwater。’Butwhatbootedbeautyorrichattire?`Thepathsofgloryleadbuttothegrave。’Theymusteitherbemurderedordieofabrokenheart。Therewasnoescapeforthem。"
  "Letmereadsomeofyourstories。"
  "Well,here’smymasterpiece。Noteitscheerfultitle——`MyGraves。’
  Ishedquartsoftearswhilewritingit,andtheothergirlsshedgallonswhileIreadit。JaneAndrews’motherscoldedherfrightfullybecauseshehadsomanyhandkerchiefsinthewashthatweek。It’saharrowingtaleofthewanderingsofaMethodistminister’swife。ImadeheraMethodistbecauseitwasnecessarythatsheshouldwander。Sheburiedachildeveryplaceshelivedin。Therewerenineofthemandtheirgraveswereseveredfarapart,rangingfromNewfoundlandtoVancouver。
  Idescribedthechildren,picturedtheirseveraldeathbeds,anddetailedtheirtombstonesandepitaphs。IhadintendedtoburythewholeninebutwhenIhaddisposedofeightmyinventionofhorrorsgaveoutandIpermittedtheninthtoliveasahopelesscripple。"
  WhileStellareadMyGraves,punctuatingitstragicparagraphswithchuckles,andRustysleptthesleepofajustcatwhohasbeenoutallnightcurleduponaJaneAndrewstaleofabeautifulmaidenoffifteenwhowenttonurseinalepercolony——ofcoursedyingoftheloathsomediseasefinally——AnneglancedovertheothermanuscriptsandrecalledtheolddaysatAvonleaschoolwhenthemembersoftheStoryClub,sittingunderthesprucetreesordownamongthefernsbythebrook,hadwrittenthem。Whatfuntheyhadhad!
  Howthesunshineandmirthofthoseoldensummersreturnedassheread。
  NotalltheglorythatwasGreeceorthegrandeurthatwasRomecouldweavesuchwizardryasthosefunny,tearfultalesoftheStoryClub。
  AmongthemanuscriptsAnnefoundonewrittenonsheetsofwrappingpaper。
  Awaveoflaughterfilledhergrayeyesassherecalledthetimeandplaceofitsgenesis。ItwasthesketchshehadwrittenthedayshefellthroughtheroofoftheCobbduckhouseontheToryRoad。
  Anneglancedoverit,thenfelltoreadingitintently。Itwasalittledialoguebetweenastersandsweet-peas,wildcanariesinthelilacbush,andtheguardianspiritofthegarden。Aftershehadreadit,shesat,staringintospace;andwhenStellahadgoneshesmoothedoutthecrumpledmanuscript。
  "IbelieveIwill,"shesaidresolutely。
  ChapterXXXVI
  TheGardners’Call"HereisaletterwithanIndianstampforyou,AuntJimsie,"
  saidPhil。"HerearethreeforStella,andtwoforPris,andagloriousfatoneformefromJo。There’snothingforyou,Anne,exceptacircular。"
  NobodynoticedAnne’sflushasshetookthethinletterPhiltossedhercarelessly。ButafewminuteslaterPhillookeduptoseeatransfiguredAnne。
  "Honey,whatgoodthinghashappened?"
  "TheYouth’sFriendhasacceptedalittlesketchIsentthemafortnightago,"saidAnne,tryinghardtospeakasifshewereaccustomedtohavingsketchesacceptedeverymail,butnotquitesucceeding。
  "AnneShirley!Howglorious!Whatwasit?Whenisittobepublished?Didtheypayyouforit?"
  "Yes;they’vesentacheckfortendollars,andtheeditorwritesthathewouldliketoseemoreofmywork。Dearman,heshall。
  ItwasanoldsketchIfoundinmybox。Ire-wroteitandsentitin——butIneverreallythoughtitcouldbeacceptedbecauseithadnoplot,"saidAnne,recallingthebitterexperienceofAveril’sAtonement。
  "Whatareyougoingtodowiththattendollars,Anne?Let’sallgouptownandgetdrunk,"suggestedPhil。
  "IAMgoingtosquanderitinawildsoullessrevelofsomesort,"
  declaredAnnegaily。"Atalleventsitisn’ttaintedmoney——
  likethecheckIgotforthathorribleReliableBakingPowderstory。
  IspentITusefullyforclothesandhatedthemeverytimeIputthemon。"
  "ThinkofhavingarealliveauthoratPatty’sPlace,"saidPriscilla。
  "It’sagreatresponsibility,"saidAuntJamesinasolemnly。
  "Indeeditis,"agreedPriswithequalsolemnity。"Authorsarekittlecattle。Youneverknowwhenorhowtheywillbreakout。
  Annemaymakecopyofus。"
  "ImeantthattheabilitytowriteforthePresswasagreatresponsibility,"saidAuntJamesinaseverely。"andIhopeAnnerealizes,it。Mydaughterusedtowritestoriesbeforeshewenttotheforeignfield,butnowshehasturnedherattentiontohigherthings。Sheusedtosayhermottowas`Neverwritealineyouwouldbeashamedtoreadatyourownfuneral。’You’dbettertakethatforyours,Anne,ifyouaregoingtoembarkinliterature。
  Though,tobesure,"addedAuntJamesinaperplexedly,"Elizabethalwaysusedtolaughwhenshesaidit。ShealwayslaughedsomuchthatIdon’tknowhowsheevercametodecideonbeingamissionary。
  I’mthankfulshedid——Iprayedthatshemight——but——Iwishshehadn’t。"
  ThenAuntJamesinawonderedwhythosegiddygirlsalllaughed。
  Anne’seyesshoneallthatday;literaryambitionssproutedandbuddedinherbrain;theirexhilarationaccompaniedhertoJennieCooper’swalkingparty,andnoteventhesightofGilbertandChristine,walkingjustaheadofherandRoy,couldquitesubduethesparkleofherstarryhopes。Nevertheless,shewasnotsoraptfromthingsofearthastobeunabletonoticethatChristine’swalkwasdecidedlyungraceful。
  "ButIsupposeGilbertlooksonlyatherface。Solikeaman,"
  thoughtAnnescornfully。
  "ShallyoubehomeSaturdayafternoon?"askedRoy。
  "Yes。"
  "Mymotherandsistersarecomingtocallonyou,"saidRoyquietly。
  SomethingwentoverAnnewhichmightbedescribedasathrill,butitwashardlyapleasantone。ShehadnevermetanyofRoy’sfamily;
  sherealizedthesignificanceofhisstatement;andithad,somehow,anirrevocablenessaboutitthatchilledher。
  "Ishallbegladtoseethem,"shesaidflatly;andthenwonderedifshereallywouldbeglad。Sheoughttobe,ofcourse。Butwoulditnotbesomethingofanordeal?GossiphadfilteredtoAnneregardingthelightinwhichtheGardnersviewedthe"infatuation"ofsonandbrother。Roymusthavebroughtpressuretobearinthematterofthiscall。Anneknewshewouldbeweighedinthebalance。Fromthefactthattheyhadconsentedtocallsheunderstoodthat,willinglyorunwillingly,theyregardedherasapossiblememberoftheirclan。
  "Ishalljustbemyself。IshallnotTRYtomakeagoodimpression,"
  thoughtAnneloftily。ButshewaswonderingwhatdressshewouldbetterwearSaturdayafternoon,andifthenewstyleofhighhair-dressingwouldsuitherbetterthantheold;andthewalkingpartywasratherspoiledforher。BynightshehaddecidedthatshewouldwearherbrownchiffononSaturday,butwoulddoherhairlow。
  FridayafternoonnoneofthegirlshadclassesatRedmond。
  StellatooktheopportunitytowriteapaperforthePhilomathicSociety,andwassittingatthetableinthecorneroftheliving-roomwithanuntidylitterofnotesandmanuscriptontheflooraroundher。Stellaalwaysvowedshenevercouldwriteanythingunlessshethreweachsheetdownasshecompletedit。
  Anne,inherflannelblouseandsergeskirt,withherhairratherblownfromherwindywalkhome,wassittingsquarelyinthemiddleofthefloor,teasingtheSarah-catwithawishbone。
  JosephandRustywerebothcurledupinherlap。Awarmplummyodorfilledthewholehouse,forPriscillawascookinginthekitchen。Presentlyshecamein,enshroudedinahugework-apron,withasmudgeofflouronhernose,toshowAuntJamesinathechocolatecakeshehadjusticed。
  Atthisauspiciousmomenttheknockersounded。NobodypaidanyattentiontoitsavePhil,whosprangupandopenedit,expectingaboywiththehatshehadboughtthatmorning。OnthedoorstepstoodMrs。Gardnerandherdaughters。
  Annescrambledtoherfeetsomehow,emptyingtwoindignantcatsoutofherlapasshedidso,andmechanicallyshiftingherwishbonefromherrighthandtoherleft。Priscilla,whowouldhavehadtocrosstheroomtoreachthekitchendoor,lostherhead,wildlyplungedthechocolatecakeunderacushionontheinglenooksofa,anddashedupstairs。Stellabeganfeverishlygatheringuphermanuscript。OnlyAuntJamesinaandPhilremainednormal。Thankstothem,everybodywassoonsittingatease,evenAnne。Priscillacamedown,apronlessandsmudgeless,Stellareducedhercornertodecency,andPhilsavedthesituationbyastreamofreadysmalltalk。
  Mrs。Gardnerwastallandthinandhandsome,exquisitelygowned,cordialwithacordialitythatseemedatrifleforced。
  AlineGardnerwasayoungereditionofhermother,lackingthecordiality。Sheendeavoredtobenice,butsucceededonlyinbeinghaughtyandpatronizing。DorothyGardnerwasslimandjollyandrathertomboyish。AnneknewshewasRoy’sfavoritesisterandwarmedtoher。ShewouldhavelookedverymuchlikeRoyifshehadhaddreamydarkeyesinsteadofroguishhazelones。ThankstoherandPhil,thecallreallywentoffverywell,exceptforaslightsenseofstrainintheatmosphereandtworatheruntowardincidents。RustyandJoseph,lefttothemselves,beganagameofchase,andsprangmadlyintoMrs。Gardner’ssilkenlapandoutofitintheirwildcareer。
  Mrs。Gardnerliftedherlorgnetteandgazedaftertheirflyingformsasifshehadneverseencatsbefore,andAnne,chokingbackslightlynervouslaughter,apologizedasbestshecould。
  "Youarefondofcats?"saidMrs。Gardner,withaslightintonationoftolerantwonder。
  Anne,despiteheraffectionforRusty,wasnotespeciallyfondofcats,butMrs。Gardner’stoneannoyedher。InconsequentlysherememberedthatMrs。JohnBlythewassofondofcatsthatshekeptasmanyasherhusbandwouldallow。
  "TheyAREadorableanimals,aren’tthey?"shesaidwickedly。
  "Ihaveneverlikedcats,"saidMrs。Gardnerremotely。
  "Ilovethem,"saidDorothy。"Theyaresoniceandselfish。
  DogsareTOOgoodandunselfish。Theymakemefeeluncomfortable。
  Butcatsaregloriouslyhuman。"
  "Youhavetwodelightfuloldchinadogsthere。MayIlookatthemclosely?"saidAline,crossingtheroomtowardsthefireplaceandtherebybecomingtheunconsciouscauseoftheotheraccident。
  PickingupMagog,shesatdownonthecushionunderwhichwassecretedPriscilla’schocolatecake。PriscillaandAnneexchangedagonizedglancesbutcoulddonothing。ThestatelyAlinecontinuedtositonthecushionanddiscusschinadogsuntilthetimeofdeparture。
  DorothylingeredbehindamomenttosqueezeAnne’shandandwhisperimpulsively。
  "IKNOWyouandIaregoingtobechums。Oh,Royhastoldmeallaboutyou。I’mtheonlyoneofthefamilyhetellsthingsto,poorboy——nobodyCOULDconfideinmammaandAline,youknow。
  Whatglorioustimesyougirlsmusthavehere!Won’tyouletmecomeoftenandhaveashareinthem?"
  "Comeasoftenasyoulike,"Annerespondedheartily,thankfulthatoneofRoy’ssisterswaslikable。ShewouldneverlikeAline,somuchwascertain;andAlinewouldneverlikeher,thoughMrs。Gardnermightbewon。Altogether,Annesighedwithreliefwhentheordealwasover。
  "`OfallsadwordsoftongueorpenThesaddestareitmighthavebeen,’"
  quotedPriscillatragically,liftingthecushion。"Thiscakeisnowwhatyoumightcallaflatfailure。Andthecushionislikewiseruined。NevertellmethatFridayisn’tunlucky。"
  "PeoplewhosendwordtheyarecomingonSaturdayshouldn’tcomeonFriday,"saidAuntJamesina。
  "IfancyitwasRoy’smistake,"saidPhil。"Thatboyisn’treallyresponsibleforwhathesayswhenhetalkstoAnne。WhereISAnne?"
  Annehadgoneupstairs。Shefeltoddlylikecrying。Butshemadeherselflaughinstead。RustyandJosephhadbeenTOOawful!
  AndDorothyWASadear。
  ChapterXXXVII
  Full-fledgedB。A。’s"IwishIweredead,orthatitweretomorrownight,"groanedPhil。
  "Ifyoulivelongenoughbothwisheswillcometrue,"saidAnnecalmly。
  "It’seasyforyoutobeserene。You’reathomeinPhilosophy。
  I’mnot——andwhenIthinkofthathorriblepapertomorrowIquail。
  IfIshouldfailinitwhatwouldJosay?"
  "Youwon’tfail。HowdidyougetoninGreektoday?"
  "Idon’tknow。PerhapsitwasagoodpaperandperhapsitwasbadenoughtomakeHomerturnoverinhisgrave。I’vestudiedandmulledovernotebooksuntilI’mincapableofforminganopinionofanything。HowthankfullittlePhilwillbewhenallthisexaminatingisover。"
  "Examinating?Ineverheardsuchaword。"
  "Well,haven’tIasgoodarighttomakeawordasanyoneelse?"
  demandedPhil。
  "Wordsaren’tmade——theygrow,"saidAnne。
  "Nevermind——Ibeginfaintlytodiscernclearwateraheadwherenoexaminationbreakersloom。Girls,doyou——canyourealizethatourRedmondLifeisalmostover?"
  "Ican’t,"saidAnne,sorrowfully。"ItseemsjustyesterdaythatPrisandIwerealoneinthatcrowdofFreshmenatRedmond。
  AndnowweareSeniorsinourfinalexaminations。"
  "`Potent,wise,andreverendSeniors,’"quotedPhil。"DoyousupposewereallyareanywiserthanwhenwecametoRedmond?"
  "Youdon’tactasifyouwerebytimes,"saidAuntJamesinaseverely。
  "Oh,AuntJimsie,haven’twebeenprettygoodgirls,takeusbyandlarge,thesethreewintersyou’vemotheredus?"pleadedPhil。
  "You’vebeenfourofthedearest,sweetest,goodestgirlsthateverwenttogetherthroughcollege,"averredAuntJamesina,whoneverspoiledacomplimentbymisplacedeconomy。
  "ButImistrustyouhaven’tanytoomuchsenseyet。It’snottobeexpected,ofcourse。Experienceteachessense。Youcan’tlearnitinacollegecourse。You’vebeentocollegefouryearsandIneverwas,butIknowheapsmorethanyoudo,youngladies。"
  "`Therearelotsofthingsthatnevergobyrule,There’sapowerfulpileo’knowledgeThatyounevergetatcollege,Thereareheapsofthingsyouneverlearnatschool,’"
  quotedStella。
  "HaveyoulearnedanythingatRedmondexceptdeadlanguagesandgeometryandsuchtrash?"queriedAuntJamesina。
  "Oh,yes。Ithinkwehave,Aunty,"protestedAnne。
  "We’velearnedthetruthofwhatProfessorWoodleightolduslastPhilomathic,"saidPhil。"Hesaid,`Humoristhespiciestcondimentinthefeastofexistence。Laughatyourmistakesbutlearnfromthem,jokeoveryourtroublesbutgatherstrengthfromthem,makeajestofyourdifficultiesbutovercomethem。’
  Isn’tthatworthlearning,AuntJimsie?"
  "Yes,itis,dearie。Whenyou’velearnedtolaughatthethingsthatshouldbelaughedat,andnottolaughatthosethatshouldn’t,you’vegotwisdomandunderstanding。"
  "WhathaveyougotoutofyourRedmondcourse,Anne?"murmuredPriscillaaside。
  "Ithink,"saidAnneslowly,"thatIreallyhavelearnedtolookuponeachlittlehindranceasajestandeachgreatoneastheforeshadowingofvictory。Summingup,IthinkthatiswhatRedmondhasgivenme。"
  "IshallhavetofallbackonanotherProfessorWoodleighquotationtoexpresswhatithasdoneforme,"saidPriscilla。
  "Yourememberthathesaidinhisaddress,`Thereissomuchintheworldforusallifweonlyhavetheeyestoseeit,andthehearttoloveit,andthehandtogatherittoourselves——
  somuchinmenandwomen,somuchinartandliterature,somucheverywhereinwhichtodelight,andforwhichtobethankful。’
  IthinkRedmondhastaughtmethatinsomemeasure,Anne。"
  "Judgingfromwhatyouall,say"remarkedAuntJamesina,"thesumandsubstanceisthatyoucanlearn——ifyou’vegotnaturalgumptionenough——infouryearsatcollegewhatitwouldtakeabouttwentyyearsoflivingtoteachyou。Well,thatjustifieshighereducationinmyopinion。It’samatterIwasalwaysdubiousaboutbefore。"
  "Butwhataboutpeoplewhohaven’tnaturalgumption,AuntJimsie?"
  "Peoplewhohaven’tnaturalgumptionneverlearn,"retortedAuntJamesina,"neitherincollegenorlife。Iftheylivetobeahundredtheyreallydon’tknowanythingmorethanwhentheywereborn。It’stheirmisfortunenottheirfault,poorsouls。
  ButthoseofuswhohavesomegumptionshoulddulythanktheLordforit。"
  "Willyoupleasedefinewhatgumptionis,AuntJimsie?"askedPhil。
  "No,Iwon’t,youngwoman。Anyonewhohasgumptionknowswhatitis,andanyonewhohasn’tcanneverknowwhatitis。Sothereisnoneedofdefiningit。"
  Thebusydaysflewbyandexaminationswereover。AnnetookHighHonorsinEnglish。PriscillatookHonorsinClassics,andPhilinMathematics。Stellaobtainedagoodall-roundshowing。
  ThencameConvocation。
  "ThisiswhatIwouldoncehavecalledanepochinmylife,"
  saidAnne,asshetookRoy’svioletsoutoftheirboxandgazedatthemthoughtfully。Shemeanttocarrythem,ofcourse,buthereyeswanderedtoanotherboxonhertable。Itwasfilledwithlilies-of-the-valley,asfreshandfragrantasthosewhichbloomedintheGreenGablesyardwhenJunecametoAvonlea。
  GilbertBlythe’scardlaybesideit。
  AnnewonderedwhyGilbertshouldhavesentherflowersforConvocation。
  Shehadseenverylittleofhimduringthepastwinter。HehadcometoPatty’sPlaceonlyoneFridayeveningsincetheChristmasholidays,andtheyrarelymetelsewhere。Sheknewhewasstudyingveryhard,aimingatHighHonorsandtheCooperPrize,andhetooklittlepartinthesocialdoingsofRedmond。Anne’sownwinterhadbeenquitegaysocially。ShehadseenagooddealoftheGardners;sheandDorothywereveryintimate;collegecirclesexpectedtheannouncementofherengagementtoRoyanyday。Anneexpecteditherself。YetjustbeforesheleftPatty’sPlaceforConvocationsheflungRoy’svioletsasideandputGilbert’slilies-of-the-valleyintheirplace。
  Shecouldnothavetoldwhyshedidit。Somehow,oldAvonleadaysanddreamsandfriendshipsseemedveryclosetoherinthisattainmentofherlong-cherishedambitions。SheandGilberthadoncepicturedoutmerrilythedayonwhichtheyshouldbecappedandgownedgraduatesinArts。ThewonderfuldayhadcomeandRoy’svioletshadnoplaceinit。
  Onlyheroldfriend’sflowersseemedtobelongtothisfruitionofold-blossominghopeswhichhehadonceshared。
  Foryearsthisdayhadbeckonedandalluredtoher;butwhenitcametheonesingle,keen,abidingmemoryitleftwithherwasnotthatofthebreathlessmomentwhenthestatelypresidentofRedmondgavehercapanddiplomaandhailedherB。A。;itwasnotoftheflashinGilbert’seyeswhenhesawherlilies,northepuzzledpainedglanceRoygaveherashepassedherontheplatform。
  ItwasnotofAlineGardner’scondescendingcongratulations,orDorothy’sardent,impulsivegoodwishes。Itwasofonestrange,unaccountablepangthatspoiledthislong-expecteddayforherandleftinitacertainfaintbutenduringflavorofbitterness。
  TheArtsgraduatesgaveagraduationdancethatnight。WhenAnnedressedforitshetossedasidethepearlbeadssheusuallyworeandtookfromhertrunkthesmallboxthathadcometoGreenGablesonChristmasday。Initwasathread-likegoldchainwithatinypinkenamelheartasapendant。Ontheaccompanyingcardwaswritten,"Withallgoodwishesfromyouroldchum,Gilbert。"Anne,laughingoverthememorytheenamelheartconjuredupthefataldaywhenGilberthadcalledher"Carrots"andvainlytriedtomakehispeacewithapinkcandyheart,hadwrittenhimanicelittlenoteofthanks。
  Butshehadneverwornthetrinket。Tonightshefasteneditaboutherwhitethroatwithadreamysmile。
  SheandPhilwalkedtoRedmondtogether。Annewalkedinsilence;
  Philchatteredofmanythings。Suddenlyshesaid,"IheardtodaythatGilbertBlythe’sengagementtoChristineStuartwastobeannouncedassoonasConvocationwasover。
  Didyouhearanythingofit?"
  "No,"saidAnne。
  "Ithinkit’strue,"saidPhillightly。
  Annedidnotspeak。Inthedarknessshefeltherfaceburning。
  Sheslippedherhandinsidehercollarandcaughtatthegoldchain。Oneenergetictwistanditgaveway。Annethrustthebrokentrinketintoherpocket。Herhandsweretremblingandhereyesweresmarting。
  Butshewasthegayestofallthegayrevellersthatnight,andtoldGilbertunregretfullythathercardwasfullwhenhecametoaskherforadance。Afterwards,whenshesatwiththegirlsbeforethedyingembersatPatty’sPlace,removingthespringchillinessfromtheirsatinskins,nonechattedmoreblithelythansheoftheday’sevents。
  "MoodySpurgeonMacPhersoncalledheretonightafteryouleft,"
  saidAuntJamesina,whohadsatuptokeepthefireon。"Hedidn’tknowaboutthegraduationdance。Thatboyoughttosleepwitharubberbandaroundhisheadtotrainhisearsnottostickout。
  Ihadabeauoncewhodidthatanditimprovedhimimmensely。
  ItwasIwhosuggestedittohimandhetookmyadvice,butheneverforgavemeforit。"
  "MoodySpurgeonisaveryseriousyoungman,"yawnedPriscilla。
  "Heisconcernedwithgravermattersthanhisears。Heisgoingtobeaminister,youknow。"
  "Well,IsupposetheLorddoesn’tregardtheearsofaman,"
  saidAuntJamesinagravely,droppingallfurthercriticismofMoodySpurgeon。AuntJamesinahadaproperrespectfortheclotheveninthecaseofanunfledgedparson。
  ChapterXXXVIII
  FalseDawn"Justimagine——thisnightweekI’llbeinAvonlea——delightfulthought!"
  saidAnne,bendingovertheboxinwhichshewaspackingMrs。RachelLynde’squilts。"Butjustimagine——thisnightweekI’llbegoneforeverfromPatty’sPlace——horriblethought!"
  "IwonderiftheghostofallourlaughterwillechothroughthemaidendreamsofMissPattyandMissMaria,"speculatedPhil。
  MissPattyandMissMariawerecominghome,afterhavingtrottedovermostofthehabitableglobe。
  "We’llbebackthesecondweekinMay"wroteMissPatty。"IexpectPatty’sPlacewillseemrathersmallaftertheHalloftheKingsatKarnak,butIneverdidlikebigplacestolivein。AndI’llbegladenoughtobehomeagain。Whenyoustarttravelinglateinlifeyou’reapttodotoomuchofitbecauseyouknowyouhaven’tmuchtimeleft,andit’sathingthatgrowsonyou。I’mafraidMariawillneverbecontentedagain。"
  "Ishallleaveheremyfanciesanddreamstoblessthenextcomer,"
  saidAnne,lookingaroundtheblueroomwistfully——herprettyblueroomwhereshehadspentthreesuchhappyyears。Shehadkneltatitswindowtoprayandhadbentfromittowatchthesunsetbehindthepines。Shehadheardtheautumnraindropsbeatingagainstitandhadwelcomedthespringrobinsatitssill。Shewonderedifolddreamscouldhauntrooms——if,whenoneleftforevertheroomwhereshehadjoyedandsufferedandlaughedandwept,somethingofher,intangibleandinvisible,yetnonethelessreal,didnotremainbehindlikeavoicefulmemory。
  "Ithink,"saidPhil,"thataroomwhereonedreamsandgrievesandrejoicesandlivesbecomesinseparablyconnectedwiththoseprocessesandacquiresapersonalityofitsown。IamsureifI
  cameintothisroomfiftyyearsfromnowitwouldsay’Anne,Anne’
  tome。Whatnicetimeswe’vehadhere,honey!Whatchatsandjokesandgoodchummyjamborees!Oh,dearme!I’mtomarryJoinJuneandIknowIwillberapturouslyhappy。ButjustnowIfeelasifIwantedthislovelyRedmondlifetogoonforever。"
  "I’munreasonableenoughjustnowtowishthat,too,"admittedAnne。
  "Nomatterwhatdeeperjoysmaycometouslateronwe’llneveragainhavejustthesamedelightful,irresponsibleexistencewe’vehadhere。
  It’soverforever,Phil。"